The Liberating Power of Letting Go: Balancing Discipline and Self-Care

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This episode explores the vital lesson of letting go as a tool for personal growth and self-care, particularly during chaotic periods in life. It discusses the importance of recognizing limits, reframing the concept of breaks, utilizing backup plans, and communicating needs, ultimately advocating for a kinder approach to discipline that fosters creativity and resilience.

• Discusses the importance of letting go during chaotic times 
• Shares personal experience with stress and burnout 
• Explains reframing breaks as strategic rests 
• Highlights the need to acknowledge personal limits 
• Emphasizes the value of having backup plans 
• Encourages open communication about self-care needs 
• Concludes with the message of merging discipline and self-kindness

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome to this new season ofthe have a Cup of Chahani
podcast.
So I want to title this newseason that I'm embarking on
with I'm growing, so this isgoing to be the season of growth
and that's what I'm going toshare with you throughout the

(00:20):
season.
So I thank you for coming overhere and sitting with me and I
hope you enjoy coming over hereand sitting with me and I hope
you enjoy Hola pasitos, andwelcome to this special episode
of have a Cup of Johnny podcast.
I know, I know it's notWednesday, but sometimes, you

(00:42):
know, life throws us curveballsand we have to adapt.
So this week I am releasing aspecial episode because the
second Wednesday of January justdidn't happen, and today I want
to talk about letting go whenlife gets chaotic and how even

(01:03):
that ties into the habits webuild.
Are you ready?
I don't know if you would sayyes, because I mean, why else
are you listening to this?
All right, let's sip on thistogether.
So here's what happened.

(01:24):
I was in the thick of it.
Thick of it.
I'm trying to find a rentalhome, and if you've ever been in
that situation, you know it'snot just physically draining,
it's emotionally taxing too.
Between the viewings going backand forth and the non-answered

(01:47):
emails and voicemails.
It was just constantdecision-making, pivoting kind
of thing, and I was depleted.
It left me depleted.
So while I had the podcastepisode planned out, I just
couldn't muster the energy toget it done.

(02:09):
And normally I push throughbecause I'm all about making
movement, because eventually themotivation will happen.
But this time I realizedsomething important.
Time I realized somethingimportant, and that was that I

(02:32):
needed to let it go for the sakeof my well-being.
And let me tell you that thatwasn't easy.
As someone who prides herselfin consistency, missing a
Wednesday felt like I wasfailing.
But here's the thing Sometimesself-care looks like breaking
your own rules, which brings meto the idea of letting go as a

(02:54):
habit.
And I know, I know, like evensaying it out loud, it sounds
counterintuitive, after all,like our habits about doing
things right.
But sometimes, as I learnedfrom this, the most powerful

(03:18):
habit is to know when to stop,pause or even skip a beat.
Think about it no-transcriptburnout, resentment and
sometimes even the collapse ofthe very routines we work so
hard to build.

(03:38):
So letting go is a way ofsaying I value my health, I
value my sanity over perfection.
Perfection, it's a habit ofself-kindness.

(03:59):
Now you might be thinking,joanne, isn't this the very
opposite of what you just saidon the last episode and the one
before that about disciplineover motivation?
Superficially, yes, but notreally, because discipline is
about showing up, that's a given.
But discipline it's also aboutknowing your limits and I've
said this before you, gotta knowyour limits, because it's about

(04:23):
making choices that align withyour long-term goals and not
just clicking boxes for the sakeof clicking or ticking boxes.
So, for example, I mean, let'sgo back to the second Wednesday
of January, when I let go ofthat episode.

(04:44):
I wasn't abandoning my podcasthabit, not at all.
I was preserving it by givingmyself the grace to rest and
ensure that I wouldn't resentthe process or deliver something
half-hearted.

(05:04):
I took a pulse on it.
That's discipline, becausediscipline is not rigid, it's
adaptable, like our backuphabits.
So how do we cultivate thehabit of letting go without
feeling guilty?
Because I feel like I just cameacross this as a coincidence

(05:27):
from what I experienced.
What happened the secondWednesday of January?
What happened the secondWednesday of January?
But as I gather my thoughts andI wrote down some things I was
able to gauge, to identifycertain things that may help us
and may help more.
Do this not just through acoincidence because of what I

(05:52):
went through, but actuallyactively doing it.
And one of those things wasacknowledge your limits, like
recognize it when you're runningon empty, recognize it right
away.
And, like I said, this was verycoincidental for me.
This was not something that Iplanned and this was not

(06:14):
something that I had evenwritten down in my journals, you
know, like my backup habits.
None of that.
I reacted to something thathappened, ticking inside of me
that was letting me know that Iwas running on empty, that I was

(06:36):
getting to the point where it'slike I was exhausted.
You know I needed to take aknee and some of my things that
manifest, I should say for meit's like not having restful
sleep, waking up at one in themorning as opposed to my usual
four or five, and those littlekind of like manifestos that

(07:01):
occurred gave me a hint thatsomething was off and I listened
to it.
It pushed me to then reframe amissing habit, because there was
this voice, you know, that justkind of like go against that,

(07:22):
go against the logic of you needto rest, joannie, you know you
need to take a break.
It's okay to let this one gothis Wednesday, because there's
this nagging voice and I thinkyou have to be very steady to
hear it and if you do, let meknow in the comments but it's
this voice that just says theopposite of what is good for me

(07:48):
and it's kind of like it justeggs me on to the complete
opposite.
You know, like guilt trips meover it saying how, like the
listeners would have left, how Ilet them down, how I let myself
down, you know, and it's justlike this bullying kind of voice

(08:09):
that is there, bullying kind ofvoice that is there and I had
to talk to it to reframe thatthis is not a failure but a
strategic rest, that I'mrecharging and that I'll get
back into it, which I'm provingmy logical voice right by being
behind the mic today.

(08:33):
And then the next thing that Idid coincidentally not really
knowing was having a backup plan.
Like I knew in the back of mymind that I would do an extra
episode that would be out ofsequence and that would be kind
of like my way to get back intothat lane.

(08:56):
You know, like I diverted fromthe path, I took a rest.
I took a rest stop and now I'madding something new to my road
trip because of this additionalrest stop, which was good for me
.
I needed it so I could continuegoing, but it was not planned,
you know.
So that's how I looked at thisbackup plan, because I was like

(09:17):
you know what I'm?
I looked at this backup planbecause I was like you know what
, I'm gonna release anadditional episode, and I was
vacillating with the, the ideaof talking about something that
I experienced on social media.
But then I was like Joelle, youhave this perfect thing that
you just learned, something thatyou just learned when you took
a pause from doing the secondWednesday episode.

(09:40):
I was like that's it, that'syour additional episode, that's
what you can talk about.
So, once again, all of this Ihate to repeat myself, but all
of this was very coincidental.
As I'm talking with you, I'mkind of like making it into a
learning process so that way Ican actively do this next time,

(10:03):
not just bump into it throughcoincidence.
And then the next thing that Idid was I communicated that with
myself.
I even told my husband hey, I'mgoing to go to the office that
I even put together to do thesepodcast episodes and all of that

(10:24):
.
And I even told him I was likeI didn't do the last Wednesday
podcast episode.
I think he could tell that Iwas a little disappointed and I
was a little disappointed inmyself.
But once I continued to talkthrough it and understand it as
a strategic rest, which I wanted, I let go of that

(10:46):
disappointment and I was able tosee it for what it is, which is
a much needed pause.
And then the last thing is witheverything that I've discussed
in the podcast is just toreflect on it, and that is kind
of like what I'm doing here withyou is reflecting on this
moment.
So that way it doesn't have tobe a coincidence, but it could

(11:07):
be a strategic thing that I donext time, so that way I can
move forward with sure footingper se.
Move forward with sure footingper se.
But that's what I wouldencourage all of y'all to do is
to reflect.
Take a moment to think aboutwhy you needed to let go of that

(11:28):
habit during that time, whatyou gain from that pause and how
you're going to bounce back andget right back into that lane.
So I'll repeat these for you,since I wrote them down.
What I coincidentally did forunderstanding that letting go

(11:49):
was a good thing to do, and thatwas acknowledge that I had
limitations, that I was runningon empty, reframe the missing
habit and not look at it as afailure, but a strategic rest.
Have a backup plan when thingsdon't go as expected.
What am I going to do?

(12:09):
Communicate with yourself andothers and, lastly, reflect and
move forward.
And here's the big takeaway,bacitos Letting go is not about
giving up.
It is not.
It's about giving yourselfspace to breathe.

(12:31):
And that space is so importantfor consistency in the long run,
so important Because, thinkabout it, the habits that stick
are the ones we build with care,not pressure, because if we do
it through pressure, we will beresentful of them and we will

(12:54):
start equating them as somethingthat doesn't bring us joy.
So why even do it?
But when we're kind toourselves, we create room for
growth, recovery and evencreativity.
This is a reminder thatdiscipline and self-kindness go
hand in hand.

(13:14):
Let go of that drill sergeantimage when it comes to
discipline.
Let go of it.
Discipline is being kind toyourself by showing up for
yourself.
Think about it that way.
So, vacitos, if you've beenfeeling overwhelmed, or like
you've dropped the ball onsomething, or like you've

(13:36):
dropped the ball on something.
Here's your reminder.
It is absolutely okay.
Letting go for a moment doesn'tmean you've failed.
It just means you're human.
Thanks for hanging out with mefor this special episode.
I hope it inspires you to be alittle kinder to yourself the
next time life gets chaotic.
If this message resonated withyou, share with somebody who

(13:59):
wants the reminder and, asalways, keep growing and keep
showing up in the ways thatmatter most.
See you next time.
Bye.
Thank you so much for listening.
I want to hear from you.
Leave me a comment, do a ratingif you can on the podcast,

(14:22):
share it with somebody you love,but, most importantly, come
back.
See you next time.
Bye.