August 18, 2025 • 43 mins
Could your child's future success depend on mental skills you've never thought to teach them? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Christine Silverstein reveals the transformative power of "mindful toughness" techniques that can help anyone overcome life's greatest challenges.
Drawing from her 29 years as a peak performance coach and her background as a registered nurse, Dr. Christine shares her remarkable personal journey—from using self-hypnosis to overcome multiple pregnancy losses to developing a comprehensive system that's helped countless athletes and individuals achieve breakthrough results. Her near-drowning experience in 2021 became the catalyst for documenting these powerful techniques in her book, "Wrestling Through Adversity."
The pandemic exposed an alarming mental health crisis among young people that Dr. Christine believes stems from a fundamental lack of resilience. Her mindful toughness skillsets—breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, visualization, and mental rehearsal—provide practical solutions anyone can implement. Through compelling stories, she demonstrates how these methods helped transform a struggling wrestler into an undefeated champion and enabled a college athlete to overcome debilitating pain after knee surgery.
Perhaps most revealing is the discussion about modern parenting approaches that inadvertently prevent children from developing crucial coping skills. Dr. Christine emphasizes that children must learn through their own experiences rather than being shielded from all discomfort. By teaching mental resilience early, parents can equip their children with tools that will serve them throughout their lives.
"You move in the direction of your dominant thoughts," Dr. Christine explains, highlighting how our mental focus shapes our reality. Whether you're an athlete seeking peak performance, a parent concerned about your child's resilience, or someone facing personal challenges, these accessible techniques offer a pathway to transformation.
Ready to discover how simple mental techniques can change your life or your child's future? Listen now and learn how to harness the incredible power of your mind to overcome any obstacle.
Learn More at: www.Redefine-Fitness.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
This is Health and Fitness Redefined, brought to
you by Redefined Fitness.
Hello and welcome to Health andFitness Redefined.
I'm your host, anthony Amen,and today we've got another
great episode for all of youtoday.
Hope you like our brand new10-second intro.
We've got a new outro today toyou guys.
We're moving up in the worldall because of you.
(00:23):
Really appreciate you guyssharing this show, making it
blow up those in-person episodeswe've been doing.
Some of them have gone viral,so absolutely love it.
Just want to give a quick shoutout to everyone that does
listen, because you guys reallydo make me want to continue this
and 300 episodes later, we'restill kicking.
So, without further ado, let'swelcome to the show, dr
(00:46):
Christine.
It's a pleasure to have you ontoday.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Thank you very much for inviting me.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, love the topic we're going to talk about today.
I love what you're doing and Ithink this will be a doozy for a
lot of people to listen to,especially with a lot of the
adversity has been a signaltopic for us over the last two,
three weeks.
It's just something that hitshome and I think a lot of people
could relate with.
And then something youmentioned pre-show is the new
(01:13):
generation is kind of showingthat, like you said, it's a lost
generation.
So really interesting topic totalk about, why I believe that
way, why you believe that way,and see how we can ultimately
help.
But so, with that further ado,just give us a little background
about what got you into thisfield to begin with.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well, I've been a registered nurse from the age of
19.
I went to nursing school at 16,didn't know what I was doing,
but I wanted to help people toheal and to be well, and that
was my intention.
When I was 15, I witnessed myfriend having an epileptic
seizure on the street near thecandy store we were going to,
(01:52):
and I didn't know what to do.
He never told me he hadepilepsy and so after that I
never saw him again.
He never talked to me again.
He was so embarrassed that hehad this episode.
So I went home and I told mymom about it, and she always
wanted to be a nurse, becausewhen she was 15, she had a
(02:13):
ruptured appendix and she almostdied from the infection because
there were no antibiotics atthat time, and so she never got
to be the nurse she wanted to be.
She had got married at 21, hadfive children, but that was one
of her regrets, you know, in herlife.
So I'm the fourth daughter inmy family.
She said well, christine, somaybe you want to be a nurse and
(02:35):
find out how to help people.
And that's how I started at 16,graduated by 19.
And I was also had many, manychallenges with fertility.
I had four miscarriages.
I had this inability.
I had the ability to becomepregnant, but then I would lose
(02:55):
the baby some months into thepregnancy and by the time I got
to the fourth pregnancy I wasreally, really scared this would
happen again, like in themiddle of the night.
So I was sleeping at that pointon a bed, on the mattress I
knew had blood on it from aprevious hemorrhage from a
(03:15):
miscarriage, so it wasn't verypositive.
And here I am pregnant again,and so I learned what to do with
meditation.
And also the other thing that Ichanged in my life at that time
was I learned self-hypnosis,which helped me to get through
the night and get through thepregnancy, and from there I had
four healthy children, eventhough the doctor told me, the
(03:38):
gynecologist I went to thespecialist told me I needed to
take diethylstilbestrol DES,which I knew at the time as a
nurse was could cause cancer toboth me and my offspring.
So I didn't take.
I took the prescription homebut I ripped it up, threw it in
(03:58):
the garbage and I said I'm goingto do it myself and use the
power of my mind, which is whatI did.
So I'm a very big proponent ofgetting in the zone this way,
and when my children weregetting to be teenagers I had
four children.
My oldest were havingchallenges with their sports.
My son was a wrestler, mydaughter was a gymnast and my
(04:20):
other children played piano andran track.
So they were having thesechallenges that teenagers have,
you know social challenges,school challenges and also that
lack of confidence in themselvesin the big tournaments, the big
matches.
So I really said I want to helpthem help themselves.
I didn't think they neededtherapy in that sense, they were
(04:43):
just having average challengesthat teenagers have.
But I brought one of mychildren to a psychologist to
see what he could do to helpthem and he told me that I was
the one who needed the therapy.
There was something wrong withme and my husband should join me
too.
And so I said forget this, I'mgoing to learn what to do to
(05:04):
help my children.
And I had a history of helpingmyself when I was a little girl.
When I was 10 years old, my dad, who was the athletic director
of the police athletic league inour hometown, told me there
were no sports for girls.
But I found out when I was inthe playground the public
playground that I could be in askating race roller skating race
(05:25):
and girls were allowed thereand I ended up winning the local
championship and then theQueens championship.
And then I placed at the citychampionship in New York City,
in Central Park, and I coachedmyself, you know, and I fixed my
equipment and I, you know, myroller skates they were metal,
(05:46):
my equipment and I, you know, myroller skates they were metal
and also strap them to my shoesand practiced and imagined
myself going over the finishline first and having little
Pegasus wings on my heels, andso I won.
And then my dad was saying, oh,I better help her, you know,
because she's doing so well.
But my point is, I knew what todo and I used the same
techniques today to helpathletes to win, using your
(06:07):
imagination.
So when my children were havingchallenges, what should I do?
I couldn't find anybody to helpme, so I decided I was going to
start my own business andbecome a peak performance coach
and learn what to do to showthem a peak performance coach
and learn what to do to showthem.
(06:28):
And so I started with my ownchildren and then I branched out
to other people's children, atthe gym, at the wrestling clubs
and then also nationally, youknow, working with whole teams.
And then I realized, oh mygoodness, this is important, not
just to win in the sport, butto win in life, because over the
years I've been doing this for29 years Over the years, the
(06:50):
young people who I work with,they come back as teenagers.
They come back in college.
They come back after collegeand say, okay, now I'm going to
my first job, so what should Ido now?
How can I use these mindfultoughness skill sets you know
and apply them, you know, tothis internship I have in
college and things like that.
So that was my impetus forstarting my work.
(07:15):
But during the pandemic, I waswatching the TV, like some of
the people might have beenwatching, and it was a horror to
me when I first started writingmy book in 2022.
And all these things happeningthe teenagers in the emergency
room and no treatment.
They were there for months withsuicidal ideation, and even
(07:37):
children as young as two hadchallenges and they were
thinking what should we do withthem?
I mean, what do you do with atwo-year-old?
They were talking about puttingthem in groups of up to
12-year-old kids.
You know what I'm thinking?
How can a toddler manage thatone?
But at any rate, I decided thatI knew what to do after working
(07:59):
over 25 years at that point andthat I was going to talk about
it in my book.
But one of the main things ofwhy I started writing my book
was that I had a near drowningin the Outer Banks in North
Carolina the Labor Day in 2022and I just it was in 2021
(08:23):
actually and I came out of thewater.
This man, he saved my lifebecause I was walking on the
shoreline in a storm and thebeaches were closed, but my
ankles were just covered withwater.
I wasn't that deep into thewater and a riptide came and
swept me out and I was on myback and I couldn't stand up and
(08:46):
and and water sand was comingover my face and I thought I was
a goner there.
My husband came in to try tohelp me and he fell, too, into
the, into the water.
But this nice man who happenedto be on the beach on the lounge
chair, he was reading the theCount of Monte Cristo book.
He was a professor and he heardmy screams and he came into the
(09:09):
water and he gave me his handand he pulled me out.
So I knew then that it was timeto write my book because years
before, I had promised my dadthat I would be an author and I
would be a writer, and I knew itwas time when he put this book
in front of my face and he said,look, this is a thousand page
(09:30):
book.
And I said, oh, my goodness, Ihave to write my book now.
So that's when I started March1st 2022, when all this was
going on with the pandemic andparents didn't know what to do
and, of course, the foodshortages and also worrying
about the price of gasolineduring that time and so I
(09:50):
started to write it, thinkingthat now it's time to say what I
mean and help people writing ofmy book and also starting.
I was inspired to write theintroduction on a trip in the
nile river.
I had tried to write theintroduction many times and I
(10:14):
failed.
So I took this book off theshelf here in my office called
uh, wrestling with life, and itwas about an autobiography of a
wrestler who died from cancerfrom the World Trade Center, and
he is right there.
His quote from his book isright there about what it was
like and how he was at MerrillLynch on that day and how he
(10:39):
saved his life by runningthrough the smoke, and we all
can learn from him.
So he was an inspiration ofwhat to say in my book, because
he didn't live much longer afterthat, but he did start a
wrestling school in between.
So I was inspired by him, andalso inspired, of course, by my
(11:00):
dad, who had passed away manyyears before.
And then I said this is the timeand just in life you know when
it's time to do what you have todo, and so that was the
beginning for me, and I've beenworking to promote my work to
help people to know that thereis something you can do.
(11:20):
And once you learn these simpletechniques, they're free as the
air you breathe, so you don'thave to worry about will
Medicaid or Medicare or yourinsurance pay for these things.
You've learned these techniquesand you start to incorporate
them in your life.
It does entail for adults tolook at their lives, the traumas
that they've had, release thoseso that they can be free to do
(11:44):
what they want to do in life,and then they can help their
children to do the same.
And they're very simple thingsI call mindful toughness skill
sets.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, you had a full life there.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes, I did, and that's only a small portion of
it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I love the saying that you're only given what you
can take and make better so alot of people are given really
hard things to deal with.
Like four miscarriages is a lot.
That's what stood out for me,right, and going through that
and constantly worrying aboutthat and just know one more,
just know one more and he keptgoing and going and going.
(12:23):
It's like that.
Put you on your path and ifthat didn't happen, would you be
where you are today?
And ultimately it was ahorrible thing to go through,
but was it worth it to get towhere you are today?
Help as many people as you'vehelped and it's something I
think I've reflected in my ownlife and I started since I did
that episode and I answered yes,like I would go through
(12:45):
everything again.
I started asking people if theytook their worst childhood
trauma or their adult trauma andwould they relive it to get
where they are today, and I gotto say a lot more people said no
, they wouldn't go through that,and it just ties into happiness
.
And then you start seeing thosepeople that said no, but it
relates into they aren't happywith the things going on in
(13:08):
their life.
They're very worried about whatpeople think of them.
They obsess over things thatthey shouldn't obsess over, and
I see it with friends, family,it's just like okay.
So maybe if you learn toembrace what happened in the
past, even if it's 20, 30 yearslater, you can realize that that
got you where you were andthere's a lot of good around you
(13:29):
and you start being moregrateful for things that happen
and things that go on.
I I'm not going to say my lifeis perfect and it's all
butterflies and rainbows kind ofdeal.
Right, I have my, I have mypain and everything like that.
Does it suck, yeah, but youknow what?
I have so much good in my lifethat it just doesn't matter.
(13:53):
And I would go through everysingle pain point all over again
if it meant that was the onlyway to get to where I am today
and I think that's really hardfor people that understand.
I think that kind of reflectsdirectly into your story.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yes, it does.
Well, they say the greateststorms make the best sailors,
and so we shy away from thesetraumas rather than embrace them
, as you say, and learn fromthem.
So if our children don't knowwhat to do, even if you're the
best parent ever, you know youstayed home with your child and
(14:34):
raised them.
Now they're going to the firstgrade.
They might encounter beingbullied in the schoolyard and
they won't know what to do.
They haven't learned and that'swhat happens.
And we have more serious thingsthan that, like school
shootings.
Now, when you go back to school, even in the first grade,
they're teaching you what to doin case there's a school
(14:54):
shooting, and it doesn't reflectwell on where we are in our
society to having to do thatwhen you're going to learn your
ABCs and also how to save yourlife if there's a school
shooting.
It doesn't go past thesechildren.
They pick up everything, andthey pick up everything that we
(15:15):
say, everything that we do, howwe speak, what we know because
of these mirror neurons thatthey're born with in their
brains.
And so if we think we'resneaking by and they're not
noticing, that's not the truthof it, and since I work with a
lot of sports.
I know that I have to alwayswork with the parents as well as
(15:36):
the children, because of theirexpectations and what do they
expect from their child.
And the most important thing isfor them to have fun in the
sport and not to be so like in aregiment, in the army or
something like that, wherethey're so busy with that that
(15:57):
they don't have the gratitude,as you're talking about, in the
fun and the love of the sport,so that they can play it for the
rest of their lives or enjoy it.
You can go to the baseball gameand enjoy baseball.
Even though you didn't become,you know, a professional
baseball player, you can stillenjoy the sport.
So it's all about that andshowing your children what to do
(16:18):
and knowing that you have somechallenges too, knowing that you
have some challenges too.
And it's like I have spoken onthe TV during the main shooting
that I was called to speak about.
So what should parents do afterthe main shooting and where
some teenagers were killed inthe bowling alley there when
(16:39):
they had a date with theirfathers, you know, to have some
fun in the bowling alley and theshooter was still at large, so
nobody could leave their homes.
They were in their homes.
So the parents had to do thetalking to the children before
the social workers and thepsychologists from the school
(16:59):
you know could talk to them.
And it's about knowing yourselffirst and settling yourself
down before you talk to yourchildren about it, because it's
to them.
And it's about knowing yourselffirst and settling yourself
down before you talk to yourchildren about it, because it's
about them.
You need to put yourself inyour children's shoes and so
often we don't do that.
I have this procedure whenparents bring their children to
my office, or the teenagers inparticular.
(17:21):
So the parents might be sittingon one sofa and the teen on one
by themselves.
And I asked the parents so okay, so why are you here?
Why are you bringing your sonhere?
What are the challenges?
So the mother might saysomething, or the guardian, or
the aunt and the father mightsay something and oh, I want you
to do this and I want you to dothat.
(17:42):
And usually the teenager mightagree at some level because they
know they're having challenges.
But when I asked them, theyjust look and they say, okay,
you know, recently there was onewho came he's 17.
He was having challenges on thewrestling mat in the previous
season, mad.
In the previous season hedidn't win a match that
(18:05):
everybody thought he should win,including the parents.
And he told me his story oncehe got into the private room
where I worked with him.
But the parents were saying butlook, and you went to the prom
and I know you had a drink and Iknow I found vaping equipment
in your room.
And they're questioning him andsaying look, how irresponsible
(18:27):
you are.
And here's the teenager.
He's very muscular because he'sa wrestler and he looks like an
adult, although his age is 17,.
He won't be 18 until next yearand shaves, so he looks like an
adult.
And the parents were saying, atone point he's a teenager.
Another point well, why don'tyou act like an adult?
Because he's not one.
(18:48):
So I had to tell them that yourchild, even though he looks
like an adult, he's not.
He's a teenager and his brainis developing.
He has this amazing brain.
I can work with that so that hedevelops into a very mature
adult by using the power of hismind.
So, anyway, he comes into myoffice and we talk about this
(19:09):
one match that he felt so badabout.
His head was hung low and Isaid so what happened there?
And he said well, the whistleblew and I took down this
opponent and I didn't think Iwas able to do it, but I did.
And then I didn't know what todo and he took me down and I
lost the match.
But my body?
(19:30):
He said he went into fight orflight response His knees got so
weak he couldn't stand up andhe couldn't breathe, and this
never happened to him before.
He had been a martial artistchampion for many years.
So this is somebody who knowshow to win, you know, in
(19:51):
competition.
So he said that's what happened.
But he said so.
I said so what did you learnfrom that?
And he said well, I learnedthat I have to know what to do
when I take somebody down andthen I can win.
And so that was his biggestlearning experience, although
the parents didn't see it thatway.
They just ignored the fact thathe went into this fight or
(20:11):
flight.
And there were thousands ofpeople there, of course, and
probably some of them booing him.
You know they didn't, theydidn't want him to win.
So so, at any rate, this oneperson, it just so happens.
I taught him that night thatbreathing easy, the first step
of how to relax, focus, to getin the zone to access your
(20:31):
skills and he did great inupcoming tournament with his
teammates.
And just recently he came forthe mental rehearsal, the second
session, and when I wentthrough some of his moves that I
said here you need to have yourplans of action with your
wrestling moves plan A, plan B,plan C he developed those.
(20:53):
We mentally rehearsed them andhe opened his eyes at the end of
the session he said I got it, Icould see everything you know.
And he took that and he won achampionship.
He was undefeated.
You know, and this is somebodywho is so low thinking I don't
know if I should quit.
I mean, I only have one moreyear to prove myself in my
senior year.
So it's about using the powerof your mind and also teaching
(21:18):
your children what to do andleaving it in the hands of
professionals a coach such asmyself, just to show them.
And teenagers love thesetechniques.
They say why didn't anybodyshow me this before?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So give me the techniques you talked about
prior right.
You said there's a handful oftechniques that everyone needs
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yes, and readdress themselves.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So what are those techniques?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, they're very simple.
As I said, I teachself-hypnosis first of all to
get in the zone, and that'sthrough these exercises that I
give them.
But also I work every time inmy office to show another
technique.
The first one is called I callit breathing easy, which is just
a matter of eye fixation onsomething in front of you, which
(22:03):
is a hypnotic intervention, andthen to start breathing,
imagining that you're breathingin to your lungs, expanding your
chest and abdomen like a bigballoon, and you stop breathing
while you're fixating.
I use a happy face in my officeto fixate on, you know, with
the soft focus, and then, as youbreathe in and as you breathe
(22:24):
out, you also have your feetflat on the floor and you circle
the fingers on yournon-dominant hand which in this
case was his left hand and Imean circle, just make a circle
like this, and that can be usedas a trigger to focus and relax
later on when you're on thewrestling mat or in school.
(22:44):
So this is multi-focus.
It's not just to relax, it'smuscle readiness when you're an
athlete, and you know that as anathlete and as a trainer, that
it's not relaxation like you'resitting on the couch at home
watching TV.
It's to be muscle, ready to gointo action when you need the
energy.
So then you start the breathingin, breathing out, and on the
(23:09):
exhale you say to yourself thatword easy.
So that's another trigger tothink that, oh, this is really
easy, I can do this, you know.
So you take the second deepbreath, you do the same, you
breathe in, you breathe out easyand the third deep breath, you
breathe in and you hold yourbreath and you count backwards
three, two and you breathe outEasy.
(23:32):
And then I take you, in thefirst session particularly, I
take you right into aprogressive muscle relaxation to
relax the muscles, startingwith the head, going even into
the brain, connecting both sidesof the brain.
I use a whole brain approachbecause the cognitive aspect and
(23:53):
also the imagery aspect.
As a hypnotherapist I intend toreach the subconscious mind
through self-hypnosis and thatis the five ways through images,
metaphors, sounds, stories andsymbols, and that is the
language of dreams and that'show you get in the zone.
So at any rate, I bring themthrough the body from the top of
(24:16):
the head, imagining there's alight shining above into the
brain, coordinating both sidesof the brain.
And that's particularly withteenagers, that's important in
young adults and then down therest of the body, the arms to
the hands, and I makesuggestions about how the back
is very relaxed and you'rebreathing in, the oxygen is
going into all the areas ofcells and everything in the body
(24:38):
A reference to the abdomen andthe muscles and the gut feeling
that you're a winner andpresenting images, and I bring
them to special places like theRedwood Forest.
I bring them to where they cansort out their issues, their
history, and that might happenon the first session, and they
(25:00):
can feel very strong, verystrength, from a giant sequoia,
for instance, that they'resitting next to.
And so these are all images andmetaphors that teenagers are
learning how to process becausethe changes in their brains.
And then from that I go fromthe top of the head all the way
down to the bottom of the feet.
The body's relaxed and I havethem also even get more in the
(25:25):
zone by counting backwards from100 to 97 and telling them when
you get to the number 97, you'retotally relaxed in the zone
like that and it worksbeautifully.
These are all hypnotherapeuticinterventions.
And then you're in the zone andthen I speak about the imagery,
whether you're on the wrestlingmat or you're on the basketball
(25:48):
court or you're going tosurgery.
As I said, I've worked with myprogram, operation Heal, so I
might take them when I'm goingto the progressive muscle
relaxation.
I might take them to a pointwhere they have injury, like in
the knee or shoulder, and I showthem how they can send energy
in and imagine little elves, youknow, putting medication on and
(26:10):
really numbing the area andshowing them techniques like
putting your hand in ice in yourimagination and then putting it
on the shoulder wherever theinjury is, and that's called
glove anesthesia.
So I use these techniquesdepending on what the challenge
is and you know what the sportis, but they're all basically
(26:32):
the same.
So that's the first session andthen I always bring them into
this space.
I use music for sound that wascomposed to slow the heart rate
down and that's another thing Ihave to do sometimes with very
anxious people like thiswrestler and other people in the
(26:52):
past, where they have veryrapid heartbeat and they can't
perform, and that's the fight orflight.
That's autonomic nervous system.
So you have to go through it indifferent ways than you do in.
The cognitive mind would say Ihave pain, so I'll take this
pill.
That's a cognitive function,but with me it's okay.
Let's go right into that spaceand see yourself there, feel
(27:15):
yourself there and you cantransfer like one.
One person that I work with, shewas a soccer player and she
played also lacrosse in collegeand she had this really severe
injury in her knee, so much sothat she had surgery.
She had the cartilage replacedwith stem cell surgery and she
(27:37):
wasn't doing well.
Her mom called me from thewaiting room of the physical
therapist's office because herdaughter was in the room with
the therapist and she wasscreaming and she said can you
help my daughter?
So I said, of course, you know,have her make an appointment.
And she came to my office.
She was 21 years old and shehad really big challenges
(28:02):
besides the knee, but she wascrying because she was in pain
and she said it was so painfulto go to the therapist because
they wanted her to bend bend theknee and she couldn't do it.
She would just scream out inpain.
The doctor said, oh, maybe weshould do the surgery over again
because it's not working.
So that didn't help her, youknow, to feel good.
(28:22):
So what I did with her was Ihelped her in many ways, along
with this discomfort, to get herto bend her knee better and to
be in the zone.
When she got to the physicaltherapy, I showed her what to do
and also I had this woodentiger.
It had joints in it right andhe was sitting on the table in
(28:46):
my office and I could show herhow the tiger was bending the
knee joint and how you could doit too and transfer the
uninjured knee feeling to theinjured knee and before she knew
it, she was able to go totherapy, be in charge, start
bending her knee and feeling somuch better that it was healing,
(29:10):
feeling so much better that itwas healing.
And on top of that, she was inher senior year in college.
She was in an internship.
She wanted to get a job whenshe graduated, she wanted to
keep her grades up for graduateschool and she was also coaching
a high school soccer team atthe same time.
So we worked on all thosethings.
(29:31):
I showed her how to work withthe student athletes on the high
school team, using mindfultoughness skill sets that I
taught her.
I showed her how to participatein the internship so she could
get a job afterwards and keepher grades up so she could go to
graduate school.
She wanted to be a socialworker and work with children,
so this was perfect for her.
(29:52):
So after um, I don't think itwas more than 10 sessions one
hour sessions where she sheaccomplished all these things
and she was able to walk andfeel comfortable with her knee
and it healed.
So using the power of the mindcan really help people if they
just know what to do.
And using your imagination, youget right into the zone and you
(30:14):
can heal.
And I know this for myselfbecause I've used these
techniques many times.
Besides having thosemiscarriages, I had four
cesarean sections and theanesthesia was ineffective for
all of them.
So I had to find ways to getthrough the surgery when I was
in a great deal of pain and andthat that was the.
(30:35):
The result of that was myprogram operation heel many
years later, that I was talkingabout earlier yeah, that's uh,
that's a lot in there, right so?
a lot.
There's a lot in there.
There's a lot in there.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yes, there's a lot to unpack.
Yes, there's a lot to unpackfrom that.
I think the moral of all of itjust going back to that athlete
you worked with and thenyourself and everything else
related is what are pain signals?
I think that's the best placeto start, and people don't
really realize that it's yourbrain sending a response from an
(31:10):
area it's like oh, it's notworking properly, oh, maybe it's
pain, oh, pain, pain, pain,pain, pain and that's all it is.
It's just a signal responsethat we're receiving because
ultimately, without pain, likewe'd be dead, uh, there's no
people that have a condition Iforgot the name off the top of
my head but those that can'tfeel pain.
They don't make it past the ageof 20 just because it's a
response oh, stove hot, take ahand.
They don't make it past the ageof 20, just because it's a
(31:31):
response oh, stove hot, take ahand off stove, don't keep it
there and burn through.
Or you add that into those thatdo have type two diabetes With
neuropathy syndromes.
Like you, step on a nail, thearea gets affected, it starts
hurting, but you don't feel itbecause you have neuropathy and
then you end up getting gangreneand losing your leg.
So it's all related and it'snecessary.
(31:51):
But then you can actuallystress your body out with
anxiety, with outside forces,and make little things worse and
you see that there's a directcorrelation to cortisol levels
and how much someone experiencespain.
So you just light up your CNSor your central nervous system,
and it's just overstimulated bythings going on, whether it's
(32:16):
trauma or stress from work orspouse, whatever and then all of
a sudden everything becomesworse.
Oh, I hit my head, or I hit myhead.
And then I think the caveat orthe bread and butter thing you
kind of said but didn't say, ifI heard you correctly, is the
child is the one that had to gothrough it and how to learn.
(32:40):
And parents, if not goodintentions, don't give the best
answers to these things.
To have them direct, getthemselves through to these
things.
To have them direct and getthemselves through.
And what I mean by that islooking back.
My parents wanted to do thebest for me, but when I learned
the most was when I did itmyself, and I see it with people
(33:01):
that are my age.
I think my age was the start ofwhen things got.
I don't want to say bad, butpeople stopped taking
responsibilities for themselves,especially kids, and then the
suicide rate went up wasdirectly correlated.
It's because they wanted thehelicopter.
Oh, everybody wins, there's nowinner oh there's this, oh,
there's this.
So kids took no responsibilityto do better, be better, and
(33:22):
therefore, when things didstress them out when they became
an adult, it left them hopeless, because now it's oh, what do I
do?
I?
oh I never learned this as a kidLike when my son, who's nine
months, falls I mean obviouslybarring, like falling down the
stairs, like he doesn't do that,but it's a little like hits his
head.
Let's say he's learning to walk, I'm not.
Oh my God, are you okay, let mepad and make everything soft.
(33:44):
It's like okay, let's get backup.
I pick him up and we startwalking again.
And then he looks at me,realizes that I'm not making a
big deal out of it, and thendoesn't cry anymore and is
smiling, giggling after that.
Whereas if I picked him up whenhe was crying and whining and
oh my god, it's okay, let mekiss that and make that better,
(34:04):
he's going to say oh, if I falland hit my head and I cry, I get
more attention from my dad andI cry, I get more attention from
my dad and my mom.
So I'm going to now cry andmake this correlation inside of
my head.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yes, it's very important from the very
beginning, as you say.
You know, with a young child,what you show them, what you say
, is going to be influential forthem when they get older.
And I believe you need to startat a young age.
But of course you can be ateenager, a young adult, or you
can even be 80 years old andstill learn things you know
(34:41):
about yourself and be able tohave an end of life, you know,
when you're 90 years old,knowing that you accomplished
what you wanted to in your lifeand that you had a great life
you can be grateful for.
But you know what to do to helpyourself.
And sometimes at the end oflife, you're not going to heal
(35:02):
on all levels, but you mightheal spiritually before you die.
And I work with that end of lifeissue with my clients as well.
You know I've done that being anurse since the age of 19.
That was part of my work Evenwhen I was very young.
I knew that that was importantto learn what to say, learn what
(35:23):
to do and to help people valuethe lives that they lived,
whatever it was that they did,you know, in their lives.
And I've done that, made sure Idid that with my mother and
father before they passed, andeven my sister, who recently
passed away.
But the only thing because shehad a dementia, the only thing
that she could remember was thewords to songs because she was a
(35:46):
singer.
So she kept that memory rightuntil she passed away, even
though she couldn't remember myname and she couldn't remember
much about her life, but shecould sing the words.
The last song she sang was on2024 and she sang God Bless
America.
At the memory care facility.
She remembered the words.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's so cute.
I love that.
Yeah, same thing with mygrandfather, who doesn't have
Alzheimer's, but he's stillalive and he's starting to get
early on like dementia.
He's 93 years old.
He sang his whole life, so AveMaria was the song he always
used to sing, like at church.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
That's my sister as well.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
That was his song and he would sing in italian and
english and he, even though heforgets things to like oh that's
a table he can still sing thatsong.
So it's pretty cool seeing how,like the human mind, like you,
can wire your brain to do whatyou want and learn what you want
, and it really depends on howyou approach it.
You want to do what you wantand learn what you want, and it
really depends on how youapproach it.
You want to be happy.
You can wire to be happy.
(36:55):
You want to be less stressed.
You can wire to be lessstressed, and it's just a
willingness to want to do it andno parent, even though they
want the best for you, can makeyou do it.
You have to want to do it.
And that intention is everything, and without that intention
you'll never, truly get there,because you'll never fully
(37:16):
understand how your mind andeverything works and you'll
always create a caveat or aplace to retro back if you don't
want it.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yes, yes, and that's so true.
And I found in my life, as Isaid, when I was 10 years old
and I was the roller skater, toenvision that I would win to, to
see the Pegasus wings on myheels, imagine them.
And when I won the Queen'sChampionship, I got a jacket I
(37:46):
was so proud to wear to schooland it had on the on the on the
left side of the chest.
It had a picture of rollerskates with Pegasus wings on
them.
So that was my prize, right?
So I was imagining that evenbefore, ever before, I had one.
(38:07):
So that you move in thedirection of your dominant
thoughts and that's the law ofattraction.
So we have to understand thatwhat we think, what we see, what
we say will move in thatdirection, whether it is
positive or negative.
If we think, when we go into anexam, that it's really hard,
it's my worst subject, it's math, and my friend he's good in
(38:30):
math and he didn't do well, so Iwon't do well, and you go in
with that attitude, your chancesof not doing well are very high
, right.
So you need to put theintention there seeing yourself,
feeling yourself and thenfiguring out what you have to do
to improve and putting it on.
I also use a feedback loop, andthe feedback loop is not just
like what you do if you'repracticing to be at bat and what
(38:51):
you're doing to practice to beat bat in your swing, but what
were you thinking when you werein the last inning and you
struck out?
What were you feeling at thattime?
And guaranteed, if you werethinking and feeling that you
were going to strike out, you do.
But you can imagine yourself,conversely, that you're going to
(39:12):
hit a home run or a grand slamand that can come about as well,
and I showed that in a littlevideo that I have.
It's an animated video of when Iworked with a young boy who
came to me.
He wanted to be on the baseballteam and he had just gotten
(39:36):
pinned in a championshipwrestling match and he's saying
I suck at wrestling.
And then he was saying hesucked at baseball and he wanted
to play third base.
So I helped him to be a thirdbaseman and I taught him all the
skills and, as it turned out,he went to Cooperstown for
(39:56):
competition at the end of thatbaseball season and I got this
note from his mother whathappened there?
At first he wasn't doing well,he was striking out, they had
five games and he wasn't doingwell.
He was striking out, they hadfive games and he wasn't doing
well and he's down on himself.
So I told the mother you haveto put my recording onto his
phone so he can listen to it.
(40:17):
And he made sure he did, andthe coach was there making sure
he did that.
So he goes to the final game.
The team isn't doing well, buthe gets up at bat, he hits a
grand slam and then two morehome runs after that and he
became the Hall of Famer and hecould take the baseballs home in
a frame.
And so that is very significant.
(40:38):
And that's after working withhim, showing these techniques.
And you can see that on mywebsite,
drchristinesilversteincom.
I have the little video thereof how I work with him.
I named him George after BabeRuth, of course.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I love it.
I think, christine, the finalthought on this before we wrap
the show up, and an exerciseeveryone can do, is if you ever
get a new car, you get a blacktruck, let's say, and then all
of a sudden you're drivingaround and all you see is black
trucks, or something elsehappens in your life.
You see a blue car, and now allof a sudden you see all blue
cars.
Or you see a school bus, thenall of a sudden, you always see
school buses.
It shows that everything'saround us.
(41:17):
It's just choosing out whetherwe're paying attention to it or
not.
And that's the same thing withthought is, if we look for
stressful situations, that's allwe find.
If we look for positive ones,that's all we find.
So it's really about how we'reframing and making our body pay
attention to the things we wantit to pay attention to.
You don't see opportunitiesaround you, you never see
(41:37):
opportunities.
If you see opportunities, youalways see opportunities.
So I'm going to ask you thefinal two questions.
I have everyone, just to wrapthis up.
The first one is if you were tosummarize this episode in one
or two sentences as a take homemessage, what would that be?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
That there's something that parents can do to
help their children to not onlywin like competitions, but to
win in life, by using simpletechniques.
I'm talking about mentalrehearsal, positive self-talk,
feedback loop analysis andmental recall, along with the
earlier exercise, breathing easythat once you incorporate those
(42:13):
into your life, it makes it somuch easier to focus on what you
want to score in your life,whatever that may be.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I love that.
And then, Christine, the finalquestion how can people find you
, get a hold of you and learnmore about your book?
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Well, my book is Wrestling Through Adversity,
Empowering Children, Teens andYoung Adults to Win in Life.
It's on Amazon, it's availablein softcover, e-book and also
audio book and it's available inany place you would buy a book
and, in addition, you can visitmy website,
drchristinesilversteincom.
(42:47):
Addition, you can visit mywebsite,
drchristinesilversteincom.
I have information there aboutmy motivation for writing the
book and the chapters in thebook and also the video I just
told you about.
And idealperformancenet is myclinical website that you can go
to, and I have a YouTubechannel called the Young
Navigator and I'm always addingthings to that to help you to
(43:09):
navigate life and to get throughthe toughest storms.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I love it.
Thank you so much, christine.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of Health
and Fitness Redefined.
Don't forget to hit thesubscribe button and share.
It's the only way this showgrows Until next time.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of health
and fitness redefined.
Please don't forget tosubscribe and share this show
with a friend, with a loved one,for those that need to hear it.
And ultimately, don't forgetfitness is medicine.
(43:40):
I'll see you next time.
This is Health and Fitness Redefined, brought to
you by Redefined Fitness.
Hello and welcome to Health andFitness Redefined.
I'm your host, anthony Amen,and today we've got another
great episode for all of youtoday.
Hope you like our brand new10-second intro.
We've got a new outro today toyou guys.
We're moving up in the worldall because of you.
(00:23):
Really appreciate you guyssharing this show, making it
blow up those in-person episodeswe've been doing.
Some of them have gone viral,so absolutely love it.
Just want to give a quick shoutout to everyone that does
listen, because you guys reallydo make me want to continue this
and 300 episodes later, we'restill kicking.
So, without further ado, let'swelcome to the show, dr
(00:46):
Christine.
It's a pleasure to have you ontoday.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Thank you very much for inviting me.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, love the topic we're going to talk about today.
I love what you're doing and Ithink this will be a doozy for a
lot of people to listen to,especially with a lot of the
adversity has been a signaltopic for us over the last two,
three weeks.
It's just something that hitshome and I think a lot of people
could relate with.
And then something youmentioned pre-show is the new
(01:13):
generation is kind of showingthat, like you said, it's a lost
generation.
So really interesting topic totalk about, why I believe that
way, why you believe that way,and see how we can ultimately
help.
But so, with that further ado,just give us a little background
about what got you into thisfield to begin with.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well, I've been a registered nurse from the age of
19.
I went to nursing school at 16,didn't know what I was doing,
but I wanted to help people toheal and to be well, and that
was my intention.
When I was 15, I witnessed myfriend having an epileptic
seizure on the street near thecandy store we were going to,
(01:52):
and I didn't know what to do.
He never told me he hadepilepsy and so after that I
never saw him again.
He never talked to me again.
He was so embarrassed that hehad this episode.
So I went home and I told mymom about it, and she always
wanted to be a nurse, becausewhen she was 15, she had a
(02:13):
ruptured appendix and she almostdied from the infection because
there were no antibiotics atthat time, and so she never got
to be the nurse she wanted to be.
She had got married at 21, hadfive children, but that was one
of her regrets, you know, in herlife.
So I'm the fourth daughter inmy family.
She said well, christine, somaybe you want to be a nurse and
(02:35):
find out how to help people.
And that's how I started at 16,graduated by 19.
And I was also had many, manychallenges with fertility.
I had four miscarriages.
I had this inability.
I had the ability to becomepregnant, but then I would lose
(02:55):
the baby some months into thepregnancy and by the time I got
to the fourth pregnancy I wasreally, really scared this would
happen again, like in themiddle of the night.
So I was sleeping at that pointon a bed, on the mattress I
knew had blood on it from aprevious hemorrhage from a
(03:15):
miscarriage, so it wasn't verypositive.
And here I am pregnant again,and so I learned what to do with
meditation.
And also the other thing that Ichanged in my life at that time
was I learned self-hypnosis,which helped me to get through
the night and get through thepregnancy, and from there I had
four healthy children, eventhough the doctor told me, the
(03:38):
gynecologist I went to thespecialist told me I needed to
take diethylstilbestrol DES,which I knew at the time as a
nurse was could cause cancer toboth me and my offspring.
So I didn't take.
I took the prescription homebut I ripped it up, threw it in
(03:58):
the garbage and I said I'm goingto do it myself and use the
power of my mind, which is whatI did.
So I'm a very big proponent ofgetting in the zone this way,
and when my children weregetting to be teenagers I had
four children.
My oldest were havingchallenges with their sports.
My son was a wrestler, mydaughter was a gymnast and my
(04:20):
other children played piano andran track.
So they were having thesechallenges that teenagers have,
you know social challenges,school challenges and also that
lack of confidence in themselvesin the big tournaments, the big
matches.
So I really said I want to helpthem help themselves.
I didn't think they neededtherapy in that sense, they were
(04:43):
just having average challengesthat teenagers have.
But I brought one of mychildren to a psychologist to
see what he could do to helpthem and he told me that I was
the one who needed the therapy.
There was something wrong withme and my husband should join me
too.
And so I said forget this, I'mgoing to learn what to do to
(05:04):
help my children.
And I had a history of helpingmyself when I was a little girl.
When I was 10 years old, my dad, who was the athletic director
of the police athletic league inour hometown, told me there
were no sports for girls.
But I found out when I was inthe playground the public
playground that I could be in askating race roller skating race
(05:25):
and girls were allowed thereand I ended up winning the local
championship and then theQueens championship.
And then I placed at the citychampionship in New York City,
in Central Park, and I coachedmyself, you know, and I fixed my
equipment and I, you know, myroller skates they were metal,
(05:46):
my equipment and I, you know, myroller skates they were metal
and also strap them to my shoesand practiced and imagined
myself going over the finishline first and having little
Pegasus wings on my heels, andso I won.
And then my dad was saying, oh,I better help her, you know,
because she's doing so well.
But my point is, I knew what todo and I used the same
techniques today to helpathletes to win, using your
(06:07):
imagination.
So when my children were havingchallenges, what should I do?
I couldn't find anybody to helpme, so I decided I was going to
start my own business andbecome a peak performance coach
and learn what to do to showthem a peak performance coach
and learn what to do to showthem.
(06:28):
And so I started with my ownchildren and then I branched out
to other people's children, atthe gym, at the wrestling clubs
and then also nationally, youknow, working with whole teams.
And then I realized, oh mygoodness, this is important, not
just to win in the sport, butto win in life, because over the
years I've been doing this for29 years Over the years, the
(06:50):
young people who I work with,they come back as teenagers.
They come back in college.
They come back after collegeand say, okay, now I'm going to
my first job, so what should Ido now?
How can I use these mindfultoughness skill sets you know
and apply them, you know, tothis internship I have in
college and things like that.
So that was my impetus forstarting my work.
(07:15):
But during the pandemic, I waswatching the TV, like some of
the people might have beenwatching, and it was a horror to
me when I first started writingmy book in 2022.
And all these things happeningthe teenagers in the emergency
room and no treatment.
They were there for months withsuicidal ideation, and even
(07:37):
children as young as two hadchallenges and they were
thinking what should we do withthem?
I mean, what do you do with atwo-year-old?
They were talking about puttingthem in groups of up to
12-year-old kids.
You know what I'm thinking?
How can a toddler manage thatone?
But at any rate, I decided thatI knew what to do after working
(07:59):
over 25 years at that point andthat I was going to talk about
it in my book.
But one of the main things ofwhy I started writing my book
was that I had a near drowningin the Outer Banks in North
Carolina the Labor Day in 2022and I just it was in 2021
(08:23):
actually and I came out of thewater.
This man, he saved my lifebecause I was walking on the
shoreline in a storm and thebeaches were closed, but my
ankles were just covered withwater.
I wasn't that deep into thewater and a riptide came and
swept me out and I was on myback and I couldn't stand up and
(08:46):
and and water sand was comingover my face and I thought I was
a goner there.
My husband came in to try tohelp me and he fell, too, into
the, into the water.
But this nice man who happenedto be on the beach on the lounge
chair, he was reading the theCount of Monte Cristo book.
He was a professor and he heardmy screams and he came into the
(09:09):
water and he gave me his handand he pulled me out.
So I knew then that it was timeto write my book because years
before, I had promised my dadthat I would be an author and I
would be a writer, and I knew itwas time when he put this book
in front of my face and he said,look, this is a thousand page
(09:30):
book.
And I said, oh, my goodness, Ihave to write my book now.
So that's when I started March1st 2022, when all this was
going on with the pandemic andparents didn't know what to do
and, of course, the foodshortages and also worrying
about the price of gasolineduring that time and so I
(09:50):
started to write it, thinkingthat now it's time to say what I
mean and help people writing ofmy book and also starting.
I was inspired to write theintroduction on a trip in the
nile river.
I had tried to write theintroduction many times and I
(10:14):
failed.
So I took this book off theshelf here in my office called
uh, wrestling with life, and itwas about an autobiography of a
wrestler who died from cancerfrom the World Trade Center, and
he is right there.
His quote from his book isright there about what it was
like and how he was at MerrillLynch on that day and how he
(10:39):
saved his life by runningthrough the smoke, and we all
can learn from him.
So he was an inspiration ofwhat to say in my book, because
he didn't live much longer afterthat, but he did start a
wrestling school in between.
So I was inspired by him, andalso inspired, of course, by my
(11:00):
dad, who had passed away manyyears before.
And then I said this is the timeand just in life you know when
it's time to do what you have todo, and so that was the
beginning for me, and I've beenworking to promote my work to
help people to know that thereis something you can do.
(11:20):
And once you learn these simpletechniques, they're free as the
air you breathe, so you don'thave to worry about will
Medicaid or Medicare or yourinsurance pay for these things.
You've learned these techniquesand you start to incorporate
them in your life.
It does entail for adults tolook at their lives, the traumas
that they've had, release thoseso that they can be free to do
(11:44):
what they want to do in life,and then they can help their
children to do the same.
And they're very simple thingsI call mindful toughness skill
sets.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, you had a full life there.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
Yes, I did, and that's only a small portion of
it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
I love the saying that you're only given what you
can take and make better so alot of people are given really
hard things to deal with.
Like four miscarriages is a lot.
That's what stood out for me,right, and going through that
and constantly worrying aboutthat and just know one more,
just know one more and he keptgoing and going and going.
(12:23):
It's like that.
Put you on your path and ifthat didn't happen, would you be
where you are today?
And ultimately it was ahorrible thing to go through,
but was it worth it to get towhere you are today?
Help as many people as you'vehelped and it's something I
think I've reflected in my ownlife and I started since I did
that episode and I answered yes,like I would go through
(12:45):
everything again.
I started asking people if theytook their worst childhood
trauma or their adult trauma andwould they relive it to get
where they are today, and I gotto say a lot more people said no
, they wouldn't go through that,and it just ties into happiness
.
And then you start seeing thosepeople that said no, but it
relates into they aren't happywith the things going on in
(13:08):
their life.
They're very worried about whatpeople think of them.
They obsess over things thatthey shouldn't obsess over, and
I see it with friends, family,it's just like okay.
So maybe if you learn toembrace what happened in the
past, even if it's 20, 30 yearslater, you can realize that that
got you where you were andthere's a lot of good around you
(13:29):
and you start being moregrateful for things that happen
and things that go on.
I I'm not going to say my lifeis perfect and it's all
butterflies and rainbows kind ofdeal.
Right, I have my, I have mypain and everything like that.
Does it suck, yeah, but youknow what?
I have so much good in my lifethat it just doesn't matter.
(13:53):
And I would go through everysingle pain point all over again
if it meant that was the onlyway to get to where I am today
and I think that's really hardfor people that understand.
I think that kind of reflectsdirectly into your story.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Yes, it does.
Well, they say the greateststorms make the best sailors,
and so we shy away from thesetraumas rather than embrace them
, as you say, and learn fromthem.
So if our children don't knowwhat to do, even if you're the
best parent ever, you know youstayed home with your child and
(14:34):
raised them.
Now they're going to the firstgrade.
They might encounter beingbullied in the schoolyard and
they won't know what to do.
They haven't learned and that'swhat happens.
And we have more serious thingsthan that, like school
shootings.
Now, when you go back to school, even in the first grade,
they're teaching you what to doin case there's a school
(14:54):
shooting, and it doesn't reflectwell on where we are in our
society to having to do thatwhen you're going to learn your
ABCs and also how to save yourlife if there's a school
shooting.
It doesn't go past thesechildren.
They pick up everything, andthey pick up everything that we
(15:15):
say, everything that we do, howwe speak, what we know because
of these mirror neurons thatthey're born with in their
brains.
And so if we think we'resneaking by and they're not
noticing, that's not the truthof it, and since I work with a
lot of sports.
I know that I have to alwayswork with the parents as well as
(15:36):
the children, because of theirexpectations and what do they
expect from their child.
And the most important thing isfor them to have fun in the
sport and not to be so like in aregiment, in the army or
something like that, wherethey're so busy with that that
(15:57):
they don't have the gratitude,as you're talking about, in the
fun and the love of the sport,so that they can play it for the
rest of their lives or enjoy it.
You can go to the baseball gameand enjoy baseball.
Even though you didn't become,you know, a professional
baseball player, you can stillenjoy the sport.
So it's all about that andshowing your children what to do
(16:18):
and knowing that you have somechallenges too, knowing that you
have some challenges too.
And it's like I have spoken onthe TV during the main shooting
that I was called to speak about.
So what should parents do afterthe main shooting and where
some teenagers were killed inthe bowling alley there when
(16:39):
they had a date with theirfathers, you know, to have some
fun in the bowling alley and theshooter was still at large, so
nobody could leave their homes.
They were in their homes.
So the parents had to do thetalking to the children before
the social workers and thepsychologists from the school
(16:59):
you know could talk to them.
And it's about knowing yourselffirst and settling yourself
down before you talk to yourchildren about it, because it's
to them.
And it's about knowing yourselffirst and settling yourself
down before you talk to yourchildren about it, because it's
about them.
You need to put yourself inyour children's shoes and so
often we don't do that.
I have this procedure whenparents bring their children to
my office, or the teenagers inparticular.
(17:21):
So the parents might be sittingon one sofa and the teen on one
by themselves.
And I asked the parents so okay, so why are you here?
Why are you bringing your sonhere?
What are the challenges?
So the mother might saysomething, or the guardian, or
the aunt and the father mightsay something and oh, I want you
to do this and I want you to dothat.
(17:42):
And usually the teenager mightagree at some level because they
know they're having challenges.
But when I asked them, theyjust look and they say, okay,
you know, recently there was onewho came he's 17.
He was having challenges on thewrestling mat in the previous
season, mad.
In the previous season hedidn't win a match that
(18:05):
everybody thought he should win,including the parents.
And he told me his story oncehe got into the private room
where I worked with him.
But the parents were saying butlook, and you went to the prom
and I know you had a drink and Iknow I found vaping equipment
in your room.
And they're questioning him andsaying look, how irresponsible
(18:27):
you are.
And here's the teenager.
He's very muscular because he'sa wrestler and he looks like an
adult, although his age is 17,.
He won't be 18 until next yearand shaves, so he looks like an
adult.
And the parents were saying, atone point he's a teenager.
Another point well, why don'tyou act like an adult?
Because he's not one.
(18:48):
So I had to tell them that yourchild, even though he looks
like an adult, he's not.
He's a teenager and his brainis developing.
He has this amazing brain.
I can work with that so that hedevelops into a very mature
adult by using the power of hismind.
So, anyway, he comes into myoffice and we talk about this
(19:09):
one match that he felt so badabout.
His head was hung low and Isaid so what happened there?
And he said well, the whistleblew and I took down this
opponent and I didn't think Iwas able to do it, but I did.
And then I didn't know what todo and he took me down and I
lost the match.
But my body?
(19:30):
He said he went into fight orflight response His knees got so
weak he couldn't stand up andhe couldn't breathe, and this
never happened to him before.
He had been a martial artistchampion for many years.
So this is somebody who knowshow to win, you know, in
(19:51):
competition.
So he said that's what happened.
But he said so.
I said so what did you learnfrom that?
And he said well, I learnedthat I have to know what to do
when I take somebody down andthen I can win.
And so that was his biggestlearning experience, although
the parents didn't see it thatway.
They just ignored the fact thathe went into this fight or
(20:11):
flight.
And there were thousands ofpeople there, of course, and
probably some of them booing him.
You know they didn't, theydidn't want him to win.
So so, at any rate, this oneperson, it just so happens.
I taught him that night thatbreathing easy, the first step
of how to relax, focus, to getin the zone to access your
(20:31):
skills and he did great inupcoming tournament with his
teammates.
And just recently he came forthe mental rehearsal, the second
session, and when I wentthrough some of his moves that I
said here you need to have yourplans of action with your
wrestling moves plan A, plan B,plan C he developed those.
(20:53):
We mentally rehearsed them andhe opened his eyes at the end of
the session he said I got it, Icould see everything you know.
And he took that and he won achampionship.
He was undefeated.
You know, and this is somebodywho is so low thinking I don't
know if I should quit.
I mean, I only have one moreyear to prove myself in my
senior year.
So it's about using the powerof your mind and also teaching
(21:18):
your children what to do andleaving it in the hands of
professionals a coach such asmyself, just to show them.
And teenagers love thesetechniques.
They say why didn't anybodyshow me this before?
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So give me the techniques you talked about
prior right.
You said there's a handful oftechniques that everyone needs
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
Yes, and readdress themselves.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
So what are those techniques?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Well, they're very simple.
As I said, I teachself-hypnosis first of all to
get in the zone, and that'sthrough these exercises that I
give them.
But also I work every time inmy office to show another
technique.
The first one is called I callit breathing easy, which is just
a matter of eye fixation onsomething in front of you, which
(22:03):
is a hypnotic intervention, andthen to start breathing,
imagining that you're breathingin to your lungs, expanding your
chest and abdomen like a bigballoon, and you stop breathing
while you're fixating.
I use a happy face in my officeto fixate on, you know, with
the soft focus, and then, as youbreathe in and as you breathe
(22:24):
out, you also have your feetflat on the floor and you circle
the fingers on yournon-dominant hand which in this
case was his left hand and Imean circle, just make a circle
like this, and that can be usedas a trigger to focus and relax
later on when you're on thewrestling mat or in school.
(22:44):
So this is multi-focus.
It's not just to relax, it'smuscle readiness when you're an
athlete, and you know that as anathlete and as a trainer, that
it's not relaxation like you'resitting on the couch at home
watching TV.
It's to be muscle, ready to gointo action when you need the
energy.
So then you start the breathingin, breathing out, and on the
(23:09):
exhale you say to yourself thatword easy.
So that's another trigger tothink that, oh, this is really
easy, I can do this, you know.
So you take the second deepbreath, you do the same, you
breathe in, you breathe out easyand the third deep breath, you
breathe in and you hold yourbreath and you count backwards
three, two and you breathe outEasy.
(23:32):
And then I take you, in thefirst session particularly, I
take you right into aprogressive muscle relaxation to
relax the muscles, startingwith the head, going even into
the brain, connecting both sidesof the brain.
I use a whole brain approachbecause the cognitive aspect and
(23:53):
also the imagery aspect.
As a hypnotherapist I intend toreach the subconscious mind
through self-hypnosis and thatis the five ways through images,
metaphors, sounds, stories andsymbols, and that is the
language of dreams and that'show you get in the zone.
So at any rate, I bring themthrough the body from the top of
(24:16):
the head, imagining there's alight shining above into the
brain, coordinating both sidesof the brain.
And that's particularly withteenagers, that's important in
young adults and then down therest of the body, the arms to
the hands, and I makesuggestions about how the back
is very relaxed and you'rebreathing in, the oxygen is
going into all the areas ofcells and everything in the body
(24:38):
A reference to the abdomen andthe muscles and the gut feeling
that you're a winner andpresenting images, and I bring
them to special places like theRedwood Forest.
I bring them to where they cansort out their issues, their
history, and that might happenon the first session, and they
(25:00):
can feel very strong, verystrength, from a giant sequoia,
for instance, that they'resitting next to.
And so these are all images andmetaphors that teenagers are
learning how to process becausethe changes in their brains.
And then from that I go fromthe top of the head all the way
down to the bottom of the feet.
The body's relaxed and I havethem also even get more in the
(25:25):
zone by counting backwards from100 to 97 and telling them when
you get to the number 97, you'retotally relaxed in the zone
like that and it worksbeautifully.
These are all hypnotherapeuticinterventions.
And then you're in the zone andthen I speak about the imagery,
whether you're on the wrestlingmat or you're on the basketball
(25:48):
court or you're going tosurgery.
As I said, I've worked with myprogram, operation Heal, so I
might take them when I'm goingto the progressive muscle
relaxation.
I might take them to a pointwhere they have injury, like in
the knee or shoulder, and I showthem how they can send energy
in and imagine little elves, youknow, putting medication on and
(26:10):
really numbing the area andshowing them techniques like
putting your hand in ice in yourimagination and then putting it
on the shoulder wherever theinjury is, and that's called
glove anesthesia.
So I use these techniquesdepending on what the challenge
is and you know what the sportis, but they're all basically
(26:32):
the same.
So that's the first session andthen I always bring them into
this space.
I use music for sound that wascomposed to slow the heart rate
down and that's another thing Ihave to do sometimes with very
anxious people like thiswrestler and other people in the
(26:52):
past, where they have veryrapid heartbeat and they can't
perform, and that's the fight orflight.
That's autonomic nervous system.
So you have to go through it indifferent ways than you do in.
The cognitive mind would say Ihave pain, so I'll take this
pill.
That's a cognitive function,but with me it's okay.
Let's go right into that spaceand see yourself there, feel
(27:15):
yourself there and you cantransfer like one.
One person that I work with, shewas a soccer player and she
played also lacrosse in collegeand she had this really severe
injury in her knee, so much sothat she had surgery.
She had the cartilage replacedwith stem cell surgery and she
(27:37):
wasn't doing well.
Her mom called me from thewaiting room of the physical
therapist's office because herdaughter was in the room with
the therapist and she wasscreaming and she said can you
help my daughter?
So I said, of course, you know,have her make an appointment.
And she came to my office.
She was 21 years old and shehad really big challenges
(28:02):
besides the knee, but she wascrying because she was in pain
and she said it was so painfulto go to the therapist because
they wanted her to bend bend theknee and she couldn't do it.
She would just scream out inpain.
The doctor said, oh, maybe weshould do the surgery over again
because it's not working.
So that didn't help her, youknow, to feel good.
(28:22):
So what I did with her was Ihelped her in many ways, along
with this discomfort, to get herto bend her knee better and to
be in the zone.
When she got to the physicaltherapy, I showed her what to do
and also I had this woodentiger.
It had joints in it right andhe was sitting on the table in
(28:46):
my office and I could show herhow the tiger was bending the
knee joint and how you could doit too and transfer the
uninjured knee feeling to theinjured knee and before she knew
it, she was able to go totherapy, be in charge, start
bending her knee and feeling somuch better that it was healing,
(29:10):
feeling so much better that itwas healing.
And on top of that, she was inher senior year in college.
She was in an internship.
She wanted to get a job whenshe graduated, she wanted to
keep her grades up for graduateschool and she was also coaching
a high school soccer team atthe same time.
So we worked on all thosethings.
(29:31):
I showed her how to work withthe student athletes on the high
school team, using mindfultoughness skill sets that I
taught her.
I showed her how to participatein the internship so she could
get a job afterwards and keepher grades up so she could go to
graduate school.
She wanted to be a socialworker and work with children,
so this was perfect for her.
(29:52):
So after um, I don't think itwas more than 10 sessions one
hour sessions where she sheaccomplished all these things
and she was able to walk andfeel comfortable with her knee
and it healed.
So using the power of the mindcan really help people if they
just know what to do.
And using your imagination, youget right into the zone and you
(30:14):
can heal.
And I know this for myselfbecause I've used these
techniques many times.
Besides having thosemiscarriages, I had four
cesarean sections and theanesthesia was ineffective for
all of them.
So I had to find ways to getthrough the surgery when I was
in a great deal of pain and andthat that was the.
(30:35):
The result of that was myprogram operation heel many
years later, that I was talkingabout earlier yeah, that's uh,
that's a lot in there, right so?
a lot.
There's a lot in there.
There's a lot in there.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yes, there's a lot to unpack.
Yes, there's a lot to unpackfrom that.
I think the moral of all of itjust going back to that athlete
you worked with and thenyourself and everything else
related is what are pain signals?
I think that's the best placeto start, and people don't
really realize that it's yourbrain sending a response from an
(31:10):
area it's like oh, it's notworking properly, oh, maybe it's
pain, oh, pain, pain, pain,pain, pain and that's all it is.
It's just a signal responsethat we're receiving because
ultimately, without pain, likewe'd be dead, uh, there's no
people that have a condition Iforgot the name off the top of
my head but those that can'tfeel pain.
They don't make it past the ageof 20 just because it's a
response oh, stove hot, take ahand.
They don't make it past the ageof 20, just because it's a
(31:31):
response oh, stove hot, take ahand off stove, don't keep it
there and burn through.
Or you add that into those thatdo have type two diabetes With
neuropathy syndromes.
Like you, step on a nail, thearea gets affected, it starts
hurting, but you don't feel itbecause you have neuropathy and
then you end up getting gangreneand losing your leg.
So it's all related and it'snecessary.
(31:51):
But then you can actuallystress your body out with
anxiety, with outside forces,and make little things worse and
you see that there's a directcorrelation to cortisol levels
and how much someone experiencespain.
So you just light up your CNSor your central nervous system,
and it's just overstimulated bythings going on, whether it's
(32:16):
trauma or stress from work orspouse, whatever and then all of
a sudden everything becomesworse.
Oh, I hit my head, or I hit myhead.
And then I think the caveat orthe bread and butter thing you
kind of said but didn't say, ifI heard you correctly, is the
child is the one that had to gothrough it and how to learn.
(32:40):
And parents, if not goodintentions, don't give the best
answers to these things.
To have them direct, getthemselves through to these
things.
To have them direct and getthemselves through.
And what I mean by that islooking back.
My parents wanted to do thebest for me, but when I learned
the most was when I did itmyself, and I see it with people
(33:01):
that are my age.
I think my age was the start ofwhen things got.
I don't want to say bad, butpeople stopped taking
responsibilities for themselves,especially kids, and then the
suicide rate went up wasdirectly correlated.
It's because they wanted thehelicopter.
Oh, everybody wins, there's nowinner oh there's this, oh,
there's this.
So kids took no responsibilityto do better, be better, and
(33:22):
therefore, when things didstress them out when they became
an adult, it left them hopeless, because now it's oh, what do I
do?
I?
oh I never learned this as a kidLike when my son, who's nine
months, falls I mean obviouslybarring, like falling down the
stairs, like he doesn't do that,but it's a little like hits his
head.
Let's say he's learning to walk, I'm not.
Oh my God, are you okay, let mepad and make everything soft.
(33:44):
It's like okay, let's get backup.
I pick him up and we startwalking again.
And then he looks at me,realizes that I'm not making a
big deal out of it, and thendoesn't cry anymore and is
smiling, giggling after that.
Whereas if I picked him up whenhe was crying and whining and
oh my god, it's okay, let mekiss that and make that better,
(34:04):
he's going to say oh, if I falland hit my head and I cry, I get
more attention from my dad andI cry, I get more attention from
my dad and my mom.
So I'm going to now cry andmake this correlation inside of
my head.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yes, it's very important from the very
beginning, as you say.
You know, with a young child,what you show them, what you say
, is going to be influential forthem when they get older.
And I believe you need to startat a young age.
But of course you can be ateenager, a young adult, or you
can even be 80 years old andstill learn things you know
(34:41):
about yourself and be able tohave an end of life, you know,
when you're 90 years old,knowing that you accomplished
what you wanted to in your lifeand that you had a great life
you can be grateful for.
But you know what to do to helpyourself.
And sometimes at the end oflife, you're not going to heal
(35:02):
on all levels, but you mightheal spiritually before you die.
And I work with that end of lifeissue with my clients as well.
You know I've done that being anurse since the age of 19.
That was part of my work Evenwhen I was very young.
I knew that that was importantto learn what to say, learn what
(35:23):
to do and to help people valuethe lives that they lived,
whatever it was that they did,you know, in their lives.
And I've done that, made sure Idid that with my mother and
father before they passed, andeven my sister, who recently
passed away.
But the only thing because shehad a dementia, the only thing
that she could remember was thewords to songs because she was a
(35:46):
singer.
So she kept that memory rightuntil she passed away, even
though she couldn't remember myname and she couldn't remember
much about her life, but shecould sing the words.
The last song she sang was on2024 and she sang God Bless
America.
At the memory care facility.
She remembered the words.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
That's so cute.
I love that.
Yeah, same thing with mygrandfather, who doesn't have
Alzheimer's, but he's stillalive and he's starting to get
early on like dementia.
He's 93 years old.
He sang his whole life, so AveMaria was the song he always
used to sing, like at church.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
That's my sister as well.
Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
That was his song and he would sing in italian and
english and he, even though heforgets things to like oh that's
a table he can still sing thatsong.
So it's pretty cool seeing how,like the human mind, like you,
can wire your brain to do whatyou want and learn what you want
, and it really depends on howyou approach it.
You want to do what you wantand learn what you want, and it
really depends on how youapproach it.
You want to be happy.
You can wire to be happy.
(36:55):
You want to be less stressed.
You can wire to be lessstressed, and it's just a
willingness to want to do it andno parent, even though they
want the best for you, can makeyou do it.
You have to want to do it.
And that intention is everything, and without that intention
you'll never, truly get there,because you'll never fully
(37:16):
understand how your mind andeverything works and you'll
always create a caveat or aplace to retro back if you don't
want it.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
Yes, yes, and that's so true.
And I found in my life, as Isaid, when I was 10 years old
and I was the roller skater, toenvision that I would win to, to
see the Pegasus wings on myheels, imagine them.
And when I won the Queen'sChampionship, I got a jacket I
(37:46):
was so proud to wear to schooland it had on the on the on the
left side of the chest.
It had a picture of rollerskates with Pegasus wings on
them.
So that was my prize, right?
So I was imagining that evenbefore, ever before, I had one.
(38:07):
So that you move in thedirection of your dominant
thoughts and that's the law ofattraction.
So we have to understand thatwhat we think, what we see, what
we say will move in thatdirection, whether it is
positive or negative.
If we think, when we go into anexam, that it's really hard,
it's my worst subject, it's math, and my friend he's good in
(38:30):
math and he didn't do well, so Iwon't do well, and you go in
with that attitude, your chancesof not doing well are very high
, right.
So you need to put theintention there seeing yourself,
feeling yourself and thenfiguring out what you have to do
to improve and putting it on.
I also use a feedback loop, andthe feedback loop is not just
like what you do if you'repracticing to be at bat and what
(38:51):
you're doing to practice to beat bat in your swing, but what
were you thinking when you werein the last inning and you
struck out?
What were you feeling at thattime?
And guaranteed, if you werethinking and feeling that you
were going to strike out, you do.
But you can imagine yourself,conversely, that you're going to
(39:12):
hit a home run or a grand slamand that can come about as well,
and I showed that in a littlevideo that I have.
It's an animated video of when Iworked with a young boy who
came to me.
He wanted to be on the baseballteam and he had just gotten
(39:36):
pinned in a championshipwrestling match and he's saying
I suck at wrestling.
And then he was saying hesucked at baseball and he wanted
to play third base.
So I helped him to be a thirdbaseman and I taught him all the
skills and, as it turned out,he went to Cooperstown for
(39:56):
competition at the end of thatbaseball season and I got this
note from his mother whathappened there?
At first he wasn't doing well,he was striking out, they had
five games and he wasn't doingwell.
He was striking out, they hadfive games and he wasn't doing
well and he's down on himself.
So I told the mother you haveto put my recording onto his
phone so he can listen to it.
(40:17):
And he made sure he did, andthe coach was there making sure
he did that.
So he goes to the final game.
The team isn't doing well, buthe gets up at bat, he hits a
grand slam and then two morehome runs after that and he
became the Hall of Famer and hecould take the baseballs home in
a frame.
And so that is very significant.
(40:38):
And that's after working withhim, showing these techniques.
And you can see that on mywebsite,
drchristinesilversteincom.
I have the little video thereof how I work with him.
I named him George after BabeRuth, of course.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I love it.
I think, christine, the finalthought on this before we wrap
the show up, and an exerciseeveryone can do, is if you ever
get a new car, you get a blacktruck, let's say, and then all
of a sudden you're drivingaround and all you see is black
trucks, or something elsehappens in your life.
You see a blue car, and now allof a sudden you see all blue
cars.
Or you see a school bus, thenall of a sudden, you always see
school buses.
It shows that everything'saround us.
(41:17):
It's just choosing out whetherwe're paying attention to it or
not.
And that's the same thing withthought is, if we look for
stressful situations, that's allwe find.
If we look for positive ones,that's all we find.
So it's really about how we'reframing and making our body pay
attention to the things we wantit to pay attention to.
You don't see opportunitiesaround you, you never see
(41:37):
opportunities.
If you see opportunities, youalways see opportunities.
So I'm going to ask you thefinal two questions.
I have everyone, just to wrapthis up.
The first one is if you were tosummarize this episode in one
or two sentences as a take homemessage, what would that be?
Speaker 2 (41:50):
That there's something that parents can do to
help their children to not onlywin like competitions, but to
win in life, by using simpletechniques.
I'm talking about mentalrehearsal, positive self-talk,
feedback loop analysis andmental recall, along with the
earlier exercise, breathing easythat once you incorporate those
(42:13):
into your life, it makes it somuch easier to focus on what you
want to score in your life,whatever that may be.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I love that.
And then, Christine, the finalquestion how can people find you
, get a hold of you and learnmore about your book?
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Well, my book is Wrestling Through Adversity,
Empowering Children, Teens andYoung Adults to Win in Life.
It's on Amazon, it's availablein softcover, e-book and also
audio book and it's available inany place you would buy a book
and, in addition, you can visitmy website,
drchristinesilversteincom.
(42:47):
Addition, you can visit mywebsite,
drchristinesilversteincom.
I have information there aboutmy motivation for writing the
book and the chapters in thebook and also the video I just
told you about.
And idealperformancenet is myclinical website that you can go
to, and I have a YouTubechannel called the Young
Navigator and I'm always addingthings to that to help you to
(43:09):
navigate life and to get throughthe toughest storms.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
I love it.
Thank you so much, christine.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of Health
and Fitness Redefined.
Don't forget to hit thesubscribe button and share.
It's the only way this showgrows Until next time.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of health
and fitness redefined.
Please don't forget tosubscribe and share this show
with a friend, with a loved one,for those that need to hear it.
And ultimately, don't forgetfitness is medicine.
(43:40):
I'll see you next time.
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