Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Hello and welcome to
Health and Fitness Redefined.
I'm your host, anthony Amen,and today we've got another
great solo episode for all ofyou.
Today, guys, this one is foryou.
I want you to sit back andwe're going to take this all in.
We're going to dive into,specifically, men and
masculinity.
What is it?
(00:27):
How can it be defined?
What is it correlated andlinked with?
I am very excited to talk aboutthis topic because it's been top
of mind for me for quite sometime, something personally I
have struggled with as a kid andnot understanding what it was.
Same with depression.
I struggled with that as a kidas well, as you all know, and
(00:49):
it's very personal to me becausenow we're seeing a lot of
issues of people attackingmasculinity, but I don't even
think people know what they'reattacking and I don't know if
they know what they're doing toour young men.
So if you have a young guy inyour life or you are highly
recommend to listen this episodewe're going to dive head first
into this.
(01:09):
It is going to rock your socks.
I'm going to say things that Ithink are just going to be
eye-opening to everyone.
So please share this below thisepisode of guys, we need to get
the word out.
Let's do this first.
Let's start with what is thedefinition of masculinity?
Basically, go from here andwebster the quality or nature of
(01:29):
the male sex, the quality,state or degree of being
masculine or manly.
Obviously it's hard to definemasculine inside masculinity,
but basically the quality ofnature of the male sex.
So what is the male sex?
As we we all know, we have Xand Y chromosomes for being a
male, xx is female.
So we're really hitting on thatY chromosome, about what that
(01:50):
does to men, how it makes us actdifferently, how we are
different than females.
And before you sit here and saythat men and women are the same
, you are totally wrong.
Biologically we're completelydifferent.
On top of that, that biologicallevel makes us completely
different as individuals.
I can tell you from a lot ofexperience being a guy,
(02:12):
obviously, and being heavilyinvolved in this industry men
and women are just builtdifferent.
Men and women think differently.
If you are married, you knowexactly what I'm talking about.
How many times do you thinkyour wife says one thing and you
get the exact opposite out ofit?
Or you think your wife wantssomething, and then you're
totally wrong and it's the otherway around, or you think
(02:33):
something's not a big deal andit's like, oh, I guess that was
a big deal.
So that's what makes marriagefun?
Right Is understanding thedifferences between men and
women and trying to take howboth of you feel and think, put
it together to create, first ofall, life and then raising a kid
, but to teach that kidideological space upon who they
(02:55):
are, and then try to create somelove and be there for each
other for the rest of your life.
So anyway, let's go back.
I think it's important tounderstand when we talk about
masculinity with any topic,isn't a history of it?
Right, like where it comes from, how it was?
So I'm gonna go all the wayback.
(03:15):
Hunting and gathering right.
Hunting obviously was left offfor the men.
Men were expected to go on togroups, right?
Nothing, nothing was done.
Individualized.
Everything was done in aboutpods of like 15 to 40 people,
and men were going out huntingfor animals.
They were looking for whateverthey could find in the local
area.
(03:35):
Women were gatherers.
Their job was to go pick fruits, pick veggies, find little
things to eat around, as well asbeing the caretakers for the
kid.
Well, they were the ones thatgave birth.
They were the ones that couldfeed the kid, right, they would
produce milk which wouldultimately feed the baby, and
then the men would beresponsible to bring home the
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big game to build structures asthey started to civilize a
little more.
To build tools waspredominantly men, so men were
constantly trying to come upwith ways to make their jobs a
little easier for themselves sothey could provide more for the
community and for the families.
Then, when you bring that intostarting to the point where we
really were being communitiesright, look like ancient greece
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as an example it was all aboutheroism and strength.
You look at greek gods thegreek gods like zeus, right,
super muscular.
I was all about heroism andstrength.
You look at Greek gods theGreek gods like Zeus, right,
super muscular.
It was all about I'm the god ofthunder, I'm in charge, save
people, kind of deal.
But even if you take it toSpartan ideology, which a lot of
people watch 300,.
Right, men were supposed to bein line.
(04:40):
Right, they're supposed tofollow each other following one
leader that was a guy, and thenthey were supposed to be tip-top
shape, were supposed to havesome kind of military background
as well as courting women.
Right, men were supposed to belike okay, I'm going to hold the
door open for you, I'm going todo this for you, I'm going to
do this for you.
Take care of their needs.
That continued all the way upto the Middle East at times,
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especially the courtmanship.
You would always see historyfilms of men who had to learn
how to dance.
Right, in order to woo women,you had to learn how to dance,
but you also were a knight oryou were a farmer.
You always did the backbreakinglabor while you did court your
women.
So, moving forward from thatpart, in the 20th century, norms
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were created about being thebreadwinner.
Cause, as far as financialaspects of it, I always think
this is where I kind of disagree.
First off, it says men werebreadwinners and that started in
the 20th century.
But that really depends, right,cause if men were hunting and
bringing in food and bringing inlivestock and all that stuff,
(05:45):
like, weren't they really thebreadwinners at that point as
well?
Same with they had a fine landthey had.
They weren't even knights,templar, right.
I know that's fake, but anyway,like there was always, we were
breadwinners, with just adifferent point it wasn't
financial, but it was otheraspects of us being breadwinners
of it and then that kind ofwent through culture.
(06:08):
As far as, personally, the 80sand 90s like for a lot of people
listening as far as myself, menalways support women it was
He-Man.
If anyone remembers He-Man,right, he was super jacked out
of his mind and that's what yougrew up with and understood and
thought what a man was as a kida lot of overweight, of being
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soft, and this is where we'regonna really talk and sit for a
while.
So I I want to break this downbecause this is a tough topic,
right.
So there's two sides to this.
Men, we're supposed to be softmen on earth.
Now, right, we're supposed tocome up with our feelings, have
emotions.
Uh, we're supposed to be alittle more emotionally
(06:53):
intelligent, be vulnerable, haverespect for everybody around us
, which I think we always had.
But it was steered away from thefact that you know, boys don't
cry and boys are not supposed tocry and supposed to hear our
emotions.
And you look, people that arelike 70s, 80, 80-year-olds now,
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so that's like a 50-year age gapfrom that.
So they're born in like the 40s, 50s, it's World War II era.
Exactly the opposite.
Hold all the emotions inEverything, just kept personal.
They did A, b, c, d, e anddidn't complain or say a word.
And that's how they just spoketo the B, because they were men.
I really think there's a middleground to this.
I feel like as society, wealways jump from one end to the
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other.
I do agree that men need toshow emotions and it's okay to
show emotions and it was toughto really open up at first.
I myself have emotions, right,so I get upset.
I let my wife know, I cry oncein a while.
But the difference is, when youget down is you want to be able
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to pick yourself back up, andthat's where we see that lag
right.
So we teach people it's okay tocry.
We teach people it's okay to bedepressed, but you don't want
to sit in that depression at all.
And men are creatures ofmovement, creatures of habit,
and we need to do things.
So when you tell someone it'sokay to cry, it's okay to be
(08:20):
upset, that's fine, get it out,but don't do that for more than
a couple hours.
Get up and start doing these.
Just start controlling.
Controllables like we talk aboutwith health, right, all the
time In fitness it's.
Start going for a walk, go workon the thing you're working on.
Go to work, don't give yourselfin a cubbyhole.
When you see your body motionstays in motion, right, and the
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body rest stays at rest.
When you're putting yourself inmotion, you start putting
yourself forward, start gettingbetter and better and better.
Go into uh, high earners, highproviders, are people that like
high-end entrepreneurs right, ifthey always they get depressed,
they get upset, but they getover it right away, right, they
(09:03):
know that, hey, it's okay to beupset, but I put things into
motion where I'm now because I'mreaching towards this goal that
is bigger than me and I'mstriving for that.
So that is going to make meknow it, because I need to know
I need to get up and move, andowning a business has taught me
that a lot.
It's.
I used to think it was okaythat I could be depressed and
(09:23):
down for a long time, but Ican't because I had a business.
I feel that depended on me,right, and that taught me hey,
like I need to move, I can't sithere and sulk, I need to go
help all these other people outthere.
I need to move this companyforward because no one's going
to do it but me, and that mademe happy when my gym started
(09:47):
growing up and my businessstarted thriving and it gave me
happiness and satisfaction.
Because we all know becausewe've listened to almost every
episode last year that it's notachieving a goal that makes you
happy.
It's the closer you get to thatgoal that truly defines
happiness, and the happiestright before that goal becomes
accomplished.
So knowing you're doingsomething to better other people
(10:08):
is really strives to make menhappy.
Relate that back to a familystructure.
Now that I have a kid, I cantalk to him from a personal
standpoint.
When I'm doing things for mywife and I'm doing things for my
son, it makes me happy, knowingthat I'm bettering them and I'm
giving them a better life.
That, by by far, is the key tomy happiness.
(10:33):
My business has turned tobettering myself to now
bettering them, and it was a lotat first and it was a lot to
really digest.
But I understand it now and itmeans so much more that this
becomes successful and that thisblows up, because I need this
for my family.
I am the one that's responsiblefor my family when it comes to
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these kinds of things.
I am the one that's responsibleto keep my family unit moving
forward right.
Here's the key.
As a guy, I see that family andI see a goal.
I have a goal in my mind ofwhat I want my family to be like
, and the closer I get toachieving that goal, the better
(11:18):
and happier I feel.
This relates to masculinity.
Why is masculinity related tothis?
Because it's what makes mehappy is moving my family unit
closer to a goal, moving mybusiness closer to a goal for my
family union.
And it's not that, it's not abad thing.
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This is, this is what drivesmen and I think this is related
to that y chromosome and ourtestosterone levels.
It's we get thrilled andexcited and motivated to go do
these things.
If you do this conversation withmy wife, it'd be the exact same
opposite.
Everything I mentioned shedoesn't think about from a hole
in the wall.
She sees it as it's.
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I'm going to comfort and guideand take care of and be there
when I'm needed and hold thefamily together like good right.
So I'm thinking I want to bringit here and level it up.
And this is where men fail, andit's okay we're allowed to fail
, because if I just do thatwithout my wife, things start
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falling apart.
Nothing's held together becausethe glue ain't strong, but my
wife being that glue that'sholding it together and holds us
close and tight and I'm pushingus here.
She's keeping everythingtogether, all those pieces
together, and we're able to getthere because we do it in tandem
with each other.
Right, we understand that weeach have a specific job to play
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and inside that job we'reworking on the same goal, but
just in different aspects.
Growing a business working onthe same goal, but just in
different aspects.
Growing a business I want tobring my business up.
I want it to be a high incomebusiness.
I can't just focus on oneavenue because if everyone that
knows the size of business, whenyou focus heavily on sales and
that's it, your operations fallsapart, your finances fall apart
(13:08):
.
Everything just startscrumbling around it and you
realize, oh shit, I need to holdeverything else together before
I start bringing my businessall the way up here.
You need people to hold ittogether and having gender roles
is not a bad thing because ithelps the family move.
If I have two individuals and Idon't understand what our jobs
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are, nothing will get done.
If I take a business and myoperations manager thinks that
they want to focus on sales, theoperations are going to fall
apart.
If my sales guy wants us tostart just focus on cleaning and
not anything else, because hedecides that today he's going to
do that, the sales job is goingto be left and no one's going
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to be pushing you forwardforward.
Everyone inside of anorganization understands the
roles that they play inside thatorganization and it's
communicated between everyone.
Going back to just the peopleborn in the 40s, 50s, things
weren't communicated.
This for a lot of familystructures fell apart, why that
divorce rate is so high Over 50%Crazy Divorce rates, by the way
(14:15):
, on the way down for those thatdon't know that.
But anyway, they didn'tcommunicate.
The communication was like theyhad a slight understanding of
what they're doing.
But there's always gray areaswith things like going into
business.
Sometimes your job overlaps,sometimes the salesperson is
doing what the operations personis doing, because it's a gray
area and you're really not surewho's supposed to be working on
what.
So I can communicate it to theperson.
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The business the bestcommunication moves forward.
And then the family, with thebest communication, moves
forward.
Communicate to my wife hey, a,b, c, d, e, I'm working, you're
working on blah, blah, blah.
We fix it.
Move forward, bring it up, butwe understand our primary
drivers and that's what makes ushappy.
If we switch roles and this isnot to say like everyone's going
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to be like, oh, everyone'sdifferent, there's people that
are different.
Of course, this is the majorityof people and this is what we
need to understand.
Majority of people think thisway.
If you're someone that thinksdifferently, it's fine, but
communicate it.
So anyway, going back to mythought, is what makes me happy?
Moving things up towards thegoal makes the wife happy
Raising and being the glueinside of the family.
(15:18):
That's stereotypical of how menand women think, and I think
that has a lot to do with menbeing more competitive in nature
.
Look at men's sports.
Look at men wanting to fight.
We've just been doing it forthousands and thousands a year.
Not to say that women don't.
I know they do, they're greatat it, it's awesome.
But more men do it in thataspect than women, right?
(15:42):
So more men obviously is agenetic predisposition to it.
It's understanding that this iswhat I want to do, and feeding
into that and feeding into thatdrive is what, ultimately, is
going to make you happier.
Now, why is this important?
Anthony, you keep diving intohappiness over everything.
Well, let's talk about toxicmasculinity.
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Someone woke up one day anddecided that men are toxic.
They're all assholes.
Men are not assholes.
And you start telling them thatthe second society, in and of
itself, falls apart.
Men are a crucial part ofsociety.
Like I said, with the examplesI just gave for the last 15
minutes, go rewind if you don'tunderstand.
You need both.
You need men and you need women, and you need them working on
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their specific jobs in order tomove society and culture,
everything else, forward,thinking that one sex can take
both jobs.
You're wrong.
You've never owned a business.
Clearly, you've never ran a bigcorporation.
You only would understand us todo that.
Don't work for a multi-billiondollar corporation with a
(16:46):
thousand employers and tell methat you can do all their jobs.
Anyway, why are we gearing tohappiness?
Let's talk about depressionrates.
It's specifically those betweenthe ages of men of 20 to 39.
Over the last three decades.
Between 2005 and 2006, therates were 4.7% Between 2013 and
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2016,.
5.5% Between August of 2021 andAugust of 2023, that rate has
almost tripled at 14.3%.
What happened in 2021?
The rate of growth has tripled.
Oh boy, a lot of culture stuffsaying that men shouldn't be men
(17:30):
.
They don't understand and menstarted out lashing because they
think maybe I want to be awoman because women get more
respect than men do.
As a white male, I canpersonally tell you a lot of
people criticize you all thetime.
You don't understand You're awhite male.
You blah, blah, blah.
It's not true.
Everyone's an individual andeveryone has their needs and,
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like we said, everyone has jobsand goals, and to focus on and
respecting people as individuals, not by their race and not by
their sex, is super important.
And telling a specific race andsex that they're not needed or
that masculinity is toxic andwho they are is defining the
person and what makes them happyis wrong, is really effed up on
(18:13):
so many levels and shouldn't beleft out.
You need to just treateverybody like an individual,
and this is what pisses me offmore than anything in the world.
Treat everybody exactly thesame, regardless of who they are
.
Stop giving people specialtickets and telling the other
ones are going to take awaythose special tickets just based
(18:34):
upon their non-negotiable liketheir color of their skin or
their race or their sex.
Stop.
Everyone's an individual and weas people, as we know talking
about the goal.
Society become happy when westart thinking about achieving a
goal.
So give everyone the sameopportunities and let them fall
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and let them pick themselvesback up and let them move
forward, and that's ultimatelyhow I think you're going to
start covering these depressionrates, because 14.3% is
ridiculous.
Now, biggest drivers, I think alot of it has to do with
everyone talking men down.
A lot of guys don't want to beguys because they're like what
does it mean?
Like no one even knows what itmeans that people can define
what a guy is or what a woman isanyway, which is making this
(19:19):
way worse.
So, but if you understand what,who you are, and you help
understand an identity as a guycause, because you know what
makes men happy, same thing withwomen you can start taking a
society and moving that societyforward and feeling better.
I mean, go back to 2005.
2006, depression was 4.7.
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It was one third of what theyare right now.
So like something changed andthinking that, like what you say
has nothing to do with it andwhat society tells them to do
with that is disgusting.
People are killing themselves atan alarming rate and we need to
wake the fuck up and stopsuicide and stop telling people
(20:00):
that they're nobodies and thatthey can't accomplish anything
and just give people everythingthey need.
But the key is letting themfail so they can pick themselves
back up.
And stop telling somebody thatbecause of their sex or because
of the color of the skin, thatthey can't, they're not, they
don't fit anywhere.
Right, you're white, you don'tfit it.
(20:20):
You're a male, you don't fit.
No, we need to appease to thenorms of individuals and really
help them out.
I know it's a lot of gibber inthere, but it's just annoying,
all right.
On top of that, current obesityrates, I think, play a lot of
role and specifically tied intotestosterone.
As we all know, the more obeseyou get, the testosterone rates
(20:42):
drop.
What does testosterone have todo with anything?
Well, it's literally the malesex hormone.
So when men have lesstestosterone, they have less
muscle mass.
Their metabolisms drop.
They have so many other issues.
They start getting femalecharacteristics right.
We need to fix the obesitycrisis.
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Take our 39.8% of US.
We've been 20 and 39 are obese.
It's a crazy number.
But start understanding 39.8%of US between 20 and 39 are
obese.
It's a crazy number.
Start understanding what drivesand motivates men and start
telling men it's okay.
Working out fuels me more thananything.
Physical labor fuels me.
(21:25):
I spent eight hours from 6 amto 9 am for the last two and a
half three days working outside.
I feel great right hitting theground like we're supposed to
doing the soil 20 yards of soil,seeding, mulching the whole
nine yards like.
(21:45):
Get your bodies moving and getyour muscles activated.
Start going to the gym andworking out, increasing your
muscle mass to increase yourtestosterone level, to drop the
amount of body fat on your body.
And we've shown that a time andtime again.
The most underutilizedantidepressant with absolutely
zero side effects at leastnegative side effects is
(22:09):
exercise, exercise, exercise,exercise.
Ssris have side effects to them.
They don't always work.
You know what works Exercise.
You know what we have to teach.
Men is okay To work out, to bemen, to grunt, to lift heavy
weights, to get outside, startdoing manual labor, work.
(22:30):
And it's okay to be a guy, it'sokay to have an understanding
that this is my responsibility.
If I take responsibility forthings, I'm more likely to be
happy.
I'm less likely to kill myself.
Why?
Because I have other peoplethat care about me, because I
have a specific job and role toplay in this society.
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It is my responsibility to bethere for my family.
It's my responsibility to movemy family union forward.
It is my responsibility to makesure that everyone is happier
tomorrow than they wereyesterday.
That is my responsibility.
I can only do that by how Iknow, which is me as a me
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personal example, watching mybusiness grow and thrive to help
my family and support them.
For people, that's different.
You might have a job to move upyour corporate ladder to help
your family learn and grow.
Yours might be to take them onvacation every single day.
It's fine, as long as youunderstand that the woman you
married and you both have anunderstanding that this is what
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we need to do in forwardness.
A better life looks for us.
Your job as a male is to helpget you there.
Your partner's job is to helpmake sure you don't fall apart.
Both roles are extremelyimportant.
Both roles are completelymisunderstood.
Both roles are extremelyimportant.
Both roles are completelymisunderstood, and all we're
doing by saying that men arewrong, is we're pushing people
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out to the curb and we'rewatching our society fall apart
around us, and this is why a lotof men are starting to turn and
think differently, especiallythose between the ages of 18 and
20.
You see time and time again,this is supposed to be political
, but just look how that groupis now going more Republican
because they feel left out.
They feel left out.
It doesn't matter politicallyor otherwise, but that group
(24:18):
feels left out and we need tohelp them.
We need to tell them that it'sokay to be a guy, it is okay.
It doesn't matter aboutanything else, it's being a man
and knowing that you havecertain responsibilities in this
world to have, and that is whatwe need to focus, focus on so
you don't turn to drugs and youdon't turn your life upside down
(24:40):
because you feel like you'reunwanted.
You need to feel the wanted inthe societal structure and you
need to learn to.
Once you fall, you get back up.
If your family falls, you pickthem back up.
That is your job, your job.
Okay, I digress.
(25:01):
I hope that all of you foundthis insightful and I'm sure I'm
going to get a lot of backlashfor some of the things I said.
I know I stumbled on a fewwords here and there, because it
just means a lot to me.
If things were taken out ofcontext, you can ask and I'm
happy to clarify for you becauseI know I went everywhere around
that I was just talking fromthe heart for this entire
(25:23):
episode.
But I just hope you allunderstand that it's not okay to
make men feel confused and tellthem not to not be a guy and
that's wrong to be a guy.
Is it okay you're going to sayfor men to get angry and men to
have word rage?
No, of course not.
There's differences, right, andyou need to understand those
(25:47):
differences and men should berespectful.
Men should be understanding towhat their family means, but men
should also have drive andpassion to move their families
forward and that is thedefinition of masculinity and
that is a definition we need topush upon society.
Thank you, guys, for listeningto this week's episode of Health
(26:08):
Fitness Redefined.
If you like these solo episodes, you like these crazy complex
topics, let me know Happy to domore.
Until next time, don't forget,fitness is medicine.
Thank you, outro Music.