October 13, 2025 • 45 mins
What if demolition is the point—the chaos before the craft? We sit down with a coach who went from pizza ovens to job sites to a gym floor, and discovered that the mess of trying many things was the making of his purpose. Carpentry taught him to trust the process: swing the hammer, clear the debris, then slow down and get precise. That same arc shows up in weight loss and behavior change—move first, then measure, then refine until the finishing touches feel like art.
The turning key wasn’t a certification; it was a relationship. After a family health scare and a prayer that felt like a first, he found faith not as rules but as source—energy that returns stronger than it was given. That center turned coaching into service, especially with special needs athletes. We share the moments that still give us chills: nonverbal clients spelling joy after hurdles, adults finding confidence to try new things, families telling us they’re seeing a different person at home. The method is simple and hard: radical patience, real respect, and no baby talk. Meet people at eye level, assume competence, and let your steadiness become their safety.
From there we get practical about grit, time, and the owner mindset. We explore push–pull motivation (fear behind, vision ahead), how role models transfer resilience, and why loving your day job is the fastest way to show up better for your family and your mission. We talk buying back time without buzzwords, training your perception to see opportunities, regulating emotions when rooms heat up, and taking accountability before pointing fingers. If you’ve ever wondered how to turn struggle into service—and why “fitness is medicine” applies to far more than muscles—this conversation maps the first steps and the finishing work.
If this resonated, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review telling us one habit you’ll practice with patience this week.
Learn More at: www.Redefine-Fitness.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:09):
Hello and welcome to Help Finish Redefind.
I'm your host, Anthony andMinnet, and today we've got
another great sit-down in-personepisode for all of you today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure for me to be onhere.
SPEAKER_01 (00:25):
I am extremely excited to do this episode.
For those people that don't knowmy relationship, uh, we end up
talking in the phone for likethree hours sometimes about
specific conversations.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
So we have some good conversations for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
So I'm really excited to do this.
But for those that don't knowyou, let's backtrack all the way
to the beginning and talk aboutwhat projected you into the
fitness and ultimately personaltraining world world.
SPEAKER_00 (00:49):
I kind of uh stumbled upon it.
Not I've tried so many differentthings.
I'm not a bookworm, I'm not goodin school.
I've never really been.
I always tried hard, but Iwasn't, it's just not for me.
I can't sit down and learnthings through a through a
textbook or someone justteaching it and telling you to
memorize these things.
I was always better just beingthrown into it and learning it
(01:12):
that way.
Try to act as a sponge more sothan, you know, I can't just
read something and then memorizeit.
My brain works too fast for meto sit there and actually soak
in what I'm reading or having towrite essays.
Like I never found, in essence,what that was good for for me.
But I know it works for otherpeople, but just not for me.
(01:34):
So I kind of stumbled upon this,trying different things.
I was in construction before Idid this, I was a carpenter, I
did heavy equipment.
Um yeah, that's kind of how Igot here.
And I really don't want to leavedoing this.
This is definitely one of mythis is definitely where I want
to be for the rest of my life,helping people.
SPEAKER_01 (01:53):
So let me ask you specifically for those jobs you
got into prior, what was thelead into those?
Like why construction and heavymachinery?
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Opportunities, I think.
I didn't really know.
I worked at a pizzeria at firstwhen I was like 16.
I started at a pizzeria, andthen from there, I was there for
like two, two and a half years,almost three years.
And at first I wanted to open apizzeria.
I wanted to own something, Ialways wanted to own something.
But from there, an opportunitycame up.
(02:23):
One of our clients, actually,who's here now, um, put me in
contact with um somebody forcarpentry.
So from there I learnedcarpentry, and then from there I
knew somebody that led me intoheavy equipment.
So I was just trying stuff out.
I really didn't know.
Carpentry I didn't want to dofor the rest of my life, but I
(02:44):
did learn some valuableinformation, some lessons there
that now I can carry on for therest of my life.
So I feel like everything I havedone has geared me up for
something else.
Like now I know things I neverknew, which I can then put to
practice in other areas of mylife.
SPEAKER_01 (02:59):
So give me a specific example of something
you learned maybe from carpentrythat has given you a life lesson
of things that you still applytoday.
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
A life lesson?
Well, for one, carpentry wasvery demanding, but also like
eloquent and precise.
Like you had to be very precisein what you were doing, but it
was physically demanding.
You were really you were workinghard, you put in the hours, and
you know, like when you demosomething, it looks chaotic, it
looks messy, it looks gross, butthe finished product is always
(03:30):
beautiful and very nice and it'sclean.
So it's seeing through all thehard work to the end.
Usually at the end is when youstart to see those results of
you know beauty andcompleteness.
SPEAKER_01 (03:42):
I like taking carpentry as an example, and I
don't know if you know this, andcomparing it to weight loss.
SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:47):
So when you first think about somebody who wants
to lose 100, uh 150 pounds, it'smessy, right?
Right.
They're just trying to getmoving, and it's a big jolt of
the system, they're superstressed out.
Yeah.
And then as they drop thatweight and as they get into the
gym, things start becoming moreprecise.
So instead of the general justget moving, get moving becomes
(04:08):
get moving with hitting yourcalorie goals.
And then all the way down to thepoint where finishing touches,
like in carpentry, you'respecifically isolating muscles
now just to make those look moreaesthetically pleasing or to fix
specific injuries.
SPEAKER_00 (04:23):
Yeah, that's actually a crazy analogy.
Yeah, I didn't think I didn'tknow you used that at all,
actually.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
I grew up with carpentry and building homes.
I've been my dad's built 40 plushomes on Long Island, and I'll
never since I was 10 years old.
It was going to job sites anddoing that and watching him do
it.
So I've been in every aspect ofthat world more than this world
initially.
SPEAKER_00 (04:47):
I think like my father, he's I love my dad, but
he's not more of the handymantype of guy.
So he didn't learn much from hisfather either.
So I think an awesome thing thatI also took away from carpentry
and all like all the stuff thatI was doing was all the things I
didn't get to learn growing upor anything like that.
(05:09):
So that to me is also um like apowerful thing.
Like if I didn't know all thisstuff now, I w if I didn't take
that path, I wouldn't be herebecause I don't know, you know.
So all of that is prettyinteresting to think about how
the stuff that I have done orbeen doing, I didn't learn
growing up, whereas some peopledo.
So their paths kind of shiftdifferently into maybe something
(05:33):
they don't find their purposeuntil you know 10, 20 years
later, or they may never, but Ithink I was very fortunate in
that the path I had to carvetaught me things that allowed me
to then put everything into whatI'm doing now.
SPEAKER_01 (05:45):
I feel like most people have thrown into it,
especially with the trainingrealm.
If most trainers I know weren'tathletes, it was the the best
trainers of those that had somekind of life lesson that they
stumbled into the field.
Right.
Like myself as an example.
SPEAKER_00 (06:00):
Me, exactly, same thing.
SPEAKER_01 (06:02):
So, what stumbled you into training from
construction?
SPEAKER_00 (06:07):
I think because I I would go to the gym and I would
work out when I was inconstruction.
So I would do, you know, mysuper long days, I would come
home and then I go to the gymanyway.
But I would always have peopleasking me because they saw me
seeing results for myself,because I was very consistent,
always the same time.
That was when I would go.
And they would ask me and then Iwould try and help them.
And I think I found a love forhelping people and seeing them
(06:31):
do better and grow.
The like their results made mehappier than my own.
So that's kind of how I got intothis.
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
So more of a need to help others.
SPEAKER_00 (06:40):
That is my biggest, that is my purpose for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (06:43):
And that is something I wanted to really
address about today as a maintopic for us, is your ability
and understanding to helpothers.
And what I've noticed for mefrom the last couple of years is
especially because that tiesinto like the religious aspect,
you've gotten more religiousover the time I've known you in
the last two years.
Yes, absolutely.
So I think that has a directcorrelation to what makes you a
(07:06):
good trainer.
Okay.
And I would like to dive alittle deeper into what
projected you into being morereligious and finding your place
with God.
SPEAKER_00 (07:15):
Okay.
So, first off, I would think,especially for anybody
listening, I wouldn't considerit a religion.
I would 100% consider itrelationship.
You know, religion is muchdifferent than relationship.
Um, if you can basis, you know,your ideas or beliefs or your
morals on like religion to meseems more legalistic.
(07:37):
And legalistic to me is morecancerous to somebody who's
seeking a relationship with God.
Legalism kind of destroys thatand makes you have to hit X, Y,
and Z.
Some of it doesn't even pertainto the Bible or what's being
talked about.
Seeking the relationship, youknow, and letting God and
letting Jesus, you know, rendyour heart and fix it, that is
where um that is where you willfind God and Jesus more.
SPEAKER_01 (08:01):
Um over the last few years, how did I get like what
got you into it having a betterrelationship with God?
SPEAKER_00 (08:14):
My grandfather, he had a stroke, and I didn't even
know I had a Bible.
This was a few years ago now.
I didn't even know I had a Biblein my room.
I always believed in uh God.
I didn't really know Jesus, sothere was a difference there.
I didn't know.
I always pertain to there hasn'tit makes zero sense for there to
(08:34):
not be a God just based on youknow the world and how it is.
It's impossible for me tobelieve that we were all here by
accident in a you know perfectworld for all of us to live.
That that I can't wrap my headaround.
Um my grandfather had a stroke afew years ago.
I didn't know I had a Bible.
After he had a stroke, I prayedfor the first time, and then my
(08:57):
Bible like fell out of my closetthat I didn't know I had, which
was my grandfather who had astroke.
It was his parents.
It was a very old Bible.
I still have it.
There's um like wedding petalsin it.
It's very old, it's very cool.
So that's how I first got intoit.
I prayed to God.
(09:18):
Um, I went there, a few miracleshappened, normal signs for me.
I was like, please let him openhis eyes when I come.
Because he wouldn't open hiseyes, he couldn't, he was better
it and he was still out.
But anytime I would go, thingslike that would happen, and they
would, you know, come to life.
And I just attributed thatstraight to God, and that's kind
of what kickstarted everything.
Um how did I get more and moreinto it?
(09:40):
Because I fell off a little bitafter that, kind of wrapping my
head around it and you know whatlife was and how I am.
Jesus did that.
He always pulled me back in whenI would uh you know veer off the
path or veer off in somewhere Iwasn't supposed to be.
So from there I kind of juststarted reading more, trying to
change my ways, and now it'sjust everything I everything I
(10:04):
have in my life is attributed toyou know Jesus and God, and I
wouldn't be where I am, Iwouldn't be capable of helping
anybody without that rightthere.
That is like my source.
SPEAKER_01 (10:17):
So do you think your relationship is strong enough
where you can understand whatyour primary purpose is?
SPEAKER_00 (10:22):
Yeah, he tells me.
SPEAKER_01 (10:23):
So what is that primary purpose for you?
SPEAKER_00 (10:25):
To help people, change people's lives, to break
people out of prison, leadpeople from darkness to light.
SPEAKER_01 (10:31):
So taking that into consideration, right?
Where do you feel you can bestgive that kind of help?
SPEAKER_00 (10:39):
Right, right.
What I'm doing now.
That's where that's generally.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
So how does that relate?
How does that correlate in?
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
How does it correlate in?
Well, being of uh being aservant to others, giving
everyone a chance no matterwhat.
You know, I have a few clientshere that tell me they've never
gotten a chance, or theirparents tell me they've never
gotten a chance.
And it's hard, and I I bleedhere, like I get beat up here,
but it's there's no giving up onsomeone that deserves a chance.
(11:05):
And you know, and now they'regreat, now they're capable of
working out with everybody, youknow.
I just have a very hard timesaying no to help.
If someone needs help, I will,you know, do my best for them.
And that's that's kind of thecorrelation, is my source comes
from Jesus, who, you know, asmuch energy as I expend in
helping people, it's always youknow revitalized or I always get
(11:27):
recharged, and then I come backin and do the same thing.
That's kind of where it stemsfrom.
SPEAKER_01 (11:32):
So that constant need to just go out and those
people that no one else wants tohelp and no one else wants to
work with, getting them on theright path.
And I like to give contextbecause a lot of people don't
know who you are as anindividual.
Dom actually talked aboutstumbling, something you
mentioned a little bit ago,stumbled into working for us by
accident, was kind of likereferred to us last minute and
(11:55):
got a job, and then after that,stumbled into working with our
special needs population we workhere.
Yeah.
And with that, took thatchallenge, because it is a
challenge, yeah, and branched,and I can say with knowing and
watching thousands of sessions,you truly are the best at this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Oh, I think I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01 (12:16):
I mean that.
I have never seen anyone connectwith that population more than
you have.
I have never seen anybody like Iknow we help, but you take it to
the next level.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
And I really I've seen things that always broke
limiting beliefs that kind ofcreep back in my head.
I always find myself like I'mlike, no, there's no limiting
beliefs, I can get through it,and then life creepers, oh maybe
there is, maybe there is, andthen gets broken.
Then you've constantly have donethat for me with the company and
have really like rejuvenated aspecific purpose for myself and
(12:51):
for them.
So knowing that that comes froma relationship with God is
something awesome to hear thatyou've that's why you're giving
back to that community.
SPEAKER_00 (12:59):
I appreciate that very much.
Those are very nice words.
Um the interesting part of thatis as my relationship grew with
God, my success here has grownexponentially.
So when I first started and Iwas just kind of thrown into it,
I took over your schedule.
I remember.
I had a few special needsclients, I had no idea what I
was doing.
I had no idea.
(13:20):
Even with some of my clients, Ireally like didn't have
something to pull from, I feltlike like I knew how to work
out, but I didn't have any likesub like sustenance behind it.
I didn't have like a why or areason.
I just wanted to help people,but it was more of like I
wouldn't say laxadaisical, butthere wasn't like like a like
(13:41):
it's a desire.
Like I need to help you, I wantto help you, I want to see you
succeed.
And at first it wasn't likethat, but now you know, God, God
had given me that ability toreach everybody no matter who
they are, and help them throughwhatever.
And it's it's all it's honestlyawesome to see the capabilities
that some of these, you know,people have because you just
(14:04):
don't give up on them and youtrust in the Lord to help them.
You know, I prayed to God overalmost all my clients to help
me.
Before I come in, I pray andjust say, give me strength to
help everybody today.
And I think that's just reallyhelped connect with them and
they see the value in it, theychange their lives, like their
lives are changed.
Like I've seen you know someclients who are 38, they're
(14:25):
older than me, right?
And they leave, like they becomemore confident in themselves,
and they go and they try newthings and learn new things.
And I always get texts or calls,and they're just like, I've
never seen him, you know, bethis way.
And that's like that's how Iknow like I really did help
somebody, and that's verytouching for me for some of
(14:46):
these clients.
SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
I'll take it to the extreme of things I've seen.
So we have I'm not gonna givespecific names, but this is a
specific client that I work withthat's non-verbal.
Yeah, and he's been coming forabout three years, and I've seen
videos of the things and stuffhe's done at home that his
parents like tell me that he'snever done this in his life.
Yeah, and they contribute thatto working specifically with you
(15:09):
here.
SPEAKER_00 (15:10):
Oh my gosh, that is that is I'm so I don't know how
to feel about that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:14):
Yeah, it's awesome.
Like you're you're givingsomebody that I I know like as a
society we're changing about howwe deal and work with certain
special populations, but theystill are given like a
half-hand.
Yeah.
And yeah, you're taking that andhelping them grow and really
giving them the attention theyneed to better their lives more
(15:38):
than most people have everthought possible.
SPEAKER_00 (15:41):
Yeah, I um I don't ever say it's me because it
isn't, because it wouldn't be mewithout God or Jesus, or it
wouldn't be me without, youknow, like I the fruit I bear is
from you know my life and mystruggles, and I'm just so happy
that I can bear fruit for othersthat they can actually move
(16:03):
forward and finally see thatthey are capable of things and
see that they are strong andthey are, you know, they can be
somebody and who they want tobe.
I had a client who just movedout into an apartment.
It he lives with mom still, buthe's on his own, it's his own
space.
He's able to now, he feels moreconfident and like masculine in
(16:25):
him in him in himself, which isawesome to see too.
And I just don't attributeanything to my own doing, it's
all the Lord's, and I uh I'mjust so appreciative of that.
SPEAKER_01 (16:35):
Yeah, is there anything specific you think you
do with them that could maybebenefit people listening that
don't have the luxury of cominghere or whatever?
You can say, hey, try thesespecific habits, it helps with
try the hat.
SPEAKER_00 (16:48):
Try well, first of all, almost everyone that I've
met, their patience level like Iwish we had a meter that you
could see how big some you knowpeople's patience levels were
because some people are justabsolute saints, they're just
awesome.
And I think the biggest thebiggest habit that you can work
on for yourself is patience.
(17:08):
You need to have patience, youneed to be willing to get beat
up, you need to be willing totake a few hits, because you
know, through suffering alwayscomes success.
So being able to bear with themand just uh be there for them,
try to be a light in a darkplace, because you know, your
darkness might be a light forsomebody, so you might be
(17:28):
feeling some way, but when theylook at you, they they feel
safe, they feel confident, theyfeel happy.
So being able to try and be alight always is is, in my
opinion, a habit to focus onpositive affirmations, just
telling yourself, hey, I want tobe, you know, today we're gonna
be happy, we're gonna try toportray happiness for somebody,
even if you don't feel that way.
(17:49):
And that energy gets, you know,they feed into that, and maybe
you'll get through through someto somebody that really does,
you know, not feel happy, butbecause you're constantly
feeding them positive things orconstantly being there for them,
being a light for them, youknow, they can switch, they can
switch their own mentality, andthat's something I feel is the
(18:09):
most important thing.
SPEAKER_01 (18:10):
You know the quickest way to make someone
happy?
SPEAKER_00 (18:12):
What?
SPEAKER_01 (18:13):
Put them in a room full of happy people.
SPEAKER_00 (18:14):
Yeah.
They can't.
It's impossible.
It is so impossible.
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
So little things like that that we don't realize
in our day-to-day.
If you took a group of 10 peopleand you said to one person,
you're gonna be the miserablegrouch, and everyone else is
gonna be happy.
Over time, that miserable grouchwill slowly make everyone happy.
You take the same group of tenpeople, you make two people
miserable, everyone will bemiserable.
So there's a point, there's asituation in our lives where if
(18:41):
we sense that one or two peopleare really bringing that energy
down, we all end up going downinstead of the eight bringing
the two up.
SPEAKER_00 (18:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (18:47):
Which I think is still interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
It is interesting, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:50):
So when you bring this to a household, right, and
you have a shorter sample size,maybe mom, dad, two kids.
Right.
One kid is watching mom and dadbicker.
What's gonna happen?
Everyone else is gonna exactlevels are gonna go up.
Right.
And that might come out,especially with maybe it's like
a non-verbal, a little moreextreme, you know, a little
higher.
(19:10):
Right.
Not that it was intentional ofthat stress level, because I'm
sure it is, but it's learninghow to constantly put yourselves
in those higher patience zones.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (19:21):
Yeah.
Um, patience is a big one.
And I think, you know, noteveryone, I think, I think
something that doesn't gettalked about enough is like baby
talk.
I act like a big brother orlittle brother to everybody in
there.
I'm I'm not gonna say I'm mean,but I'm stern when I have to be.
But we'll roll around and havefun too.
Like you need to, especiallynonverbal clients, they don't
(19:45):
they're very capable ofunderstanding what's going on.
They don't want to be talkedthat way, especially when
they're older.
So I think that's something thatalso kind of switches the way a
client would speak or anonverbal client, how they would
feel, is they understand thatyou're talking down to them.
Like you don't have to talk downto them.
(20:05):
That's a very good habit to alsolook into and check yourself on.
Because if you're like if you'retalking in that way, maybe
that's why you can't getthrough.
Like just stoop down to theirlevel, just you know, look at
you know, eye level and just bethere with them, and just talk
to them how you would talk toanybody.
And that's I feel like thesecond most um successful thing
(20:26):
that I have run into.
As soon as I started reallybeing like that and just
understanding that we're allhuman too.
They feel your energy, theyunderstand, they understand way
more than you think.
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
True.
SPEAKER_00 (20:40):
You know, we had a nonverbal client who was just
talking, who was spelling out onthe spellboard, and I thought
that was the most amazing thingever because he's never said a
word, or you wouldn't even thinkhe understands you.
But he repeated everything wesaid in it.
He said he was so happy that youknow he learned that.
They thought he would never beable to jump, and we were doing
hurdles, and it was one of hisfavorite exercises that he's
(21:01):
ever done, and he spelled itout, and it was just it was
great.
So I think that's another habitthat we should keep in mind.
Those are the two biggestthings.
SPEAKER_01 (21:09):
I mean, baby talking is dehumanizing.
SPEAKER_00 (21:11):
Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
And what's really interesting if you look at
psychology, I think it's afterthe age of six months, it's
young, where we only have babytalk because high pitches get
across to kids under the age ofsix months.
Right?
You can they could pitch uppitches, they don't understand
what you're saying with thebigger pitches.
After the kid starts gettingolder, they actually learn way
less from baby talking and highpitching, and they learn way
(21:34):
better from a clear voice.
So, this is my normal voices.
I'm gonna talk to my son whenhe's one or two, which to a lot
of people they still come andact like a baby too.
Yeah, no.
So, why do that to a full-grownadult?
SPEAKER_00 (21:46):
Never, never ever.
I think that's a very important.
Don't look at them as a youknow, a client that needs
special accommodations, althoughthey might.
They're just your client, andyou're gonna do everything in
your power to give them asession that they need, or even
just in general, when you seethe someone out and about, they
are still just a person, they'rejust they just need different
accommodations than you.
So treat them as a person, talkto them as a person, and I think
(22:10):
that is a very very importantthing that I see too from AIDS
or even parents sometimes that Ijust wish could be changed.
I think that's the biggestthing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:20):
Yeah, I I couldn't agree more.
I want to just uh kind of goback in our conversation part of
something you mentioned.
You said because of mystruggles, yeah, this is why.
So break down what you meant bythat.
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
Okay, so I mean, growing up I played ice hockey
and I was very adamant aboutplaying ice hockey.
That was uh, you know, rollercoaster of an emotional roller
coaster there.
I didn't know God, I didn't knowyou know anything about Jesus.
I was just kind of playinghockey, doing everything myself.
I always had um a heart foreverybody.
(22:53):
Like I wanted everyone, I stillwanted everyone to succeed.
I still had that same heart, butmy heart posture was just not
aligned properly.
Um even struggles like the lastfive years, the way I talk to
people, um, I know we don't havea ton of time, but I'll totally
go over all you know my lifeleading up to now and what I
really mean.
(23:13):
But just being able to connectwith somebody because of the
things I deal with.
So I'm able to put myself andhow I felt when I was dealing
with all of you know justcertain things.
I would never want someone tofeel that way, and that has only
strengthened with my faith.
So the way I talk to people orgossiped or what I said to
(23:35):
people or how I treated them,just all of those things made
them feel you know bad or notgood, or just I I just now that
my heart posture has changed, Icould never like looking back on
those things, yeah that eats meup.
I still think about all or youknow, times that I've done that,
(23:55):
and I just can't like I just tryto put myself in the shoes of
someone else, and I would neverwant them to feel that way based
on how I felt when that'shappened to me, and knowing how
they felt when I was doing thatto them.
So that's sort of that's sort ofhow I have come to where I am
now, is that I just don't wantto put anyone in pain.
(24:16):
Like that's not that's not whatwe're here for.
We're here to uplift and helpand love and serve people, like
that's what we do.
SPEAKER_01 (24:23):
So the struggle is more just to kind of summarize
it was you giving to the peoplenegative.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
That's that's part of it.
I mean, there's a ton, uh, youknow, hockey's not the easiest
sport.
I learned all a lot of lifelessons in hockey.
Um emotionally, like I put allmy hours into that.
Practice, you know, go toschool, come home, practice all
day, do homework for like 30minutes, try it as fast as I can
get it done, go to the rink andplay all night.
(24:51):
And I put a lot of time intothat.
I moved away to play hockey.
I moved out of state to play astate of the billet family.
But it was just very emotionallydraining, you know, being told
something like, hey, we want youon our team, and then hey, we
have relationships with otherparents, we're just not gonna
take you.
Although you're, you know, veryskilled and you're one of the
best out here.
I'm sorry, we can't do that.
(25:11):
So it's just a lot of when youput so much energy and so much
of your whole life intosomething to just get it
stripped away from you is hard,and that happened a lot growing
up for me.
SPEAKER_01 (25:23):
Um Do you think that was a good thing?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to say thatdepression is um this big evil
thing.
I don't I don't want to say thatit's a good thing either, but I
think it's definitely amotivator and a and a way to
kick start you into you knowwhere you're supposed to be.
(25:46):
Use it as a lesson.
I know it sucks and I know it'shard.
I was there.
But without without thosehardships and those you know
depressive points that I was in,I would never be where I am
today.
I would never be able to givewhat I give today and serve how
I serve today.
So without those things, Iwouldn't, I wouldn't be half the
person I am now.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
Such an interesting topic I've been thinking about a
lot after uh now having a kidand then having another kid on
the way is depression andstruggles as a whole.
Yeah.
Right?
As a parent, you constantly wantto do and protect your kids.
Yeah.
You want to make sure your kidshave more than you ever had in
your life, they're protected,and you don't want to see them
(26:25):
get hurt.
But here's the interesting partabout all of this.
Every time you talk to peoplewho are truly happy or
successful in life, how theydefine their own success, they
have had to go through strugglesand overcome them.
Right.
So taking my story, taking evenyour story, another one of the
other people I've talked to,without those struggles, they
(26:47):
wouldn't be who they are todayand be able to give what they
give today because they wouldnever have learned those
lessons.
Right.
So how do you balance giving alife for your kids and trying to
protect them, but then you'reactually just doing them a
disservice by constantly pickingup the pieces for them when they
really learn to pick themselvesup?
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
How do you balance that?
Well, I think resistance is anecessity.
You know, you can't take gravityor space for an example.
If you're just floating throughspace and you need to get to a
point, you need to get, youknow, back to Earth, say,
whatever, if you have noresistance, you can't.
You're just floating.
So in order to propel forwardpositively, you need some sort
of resistance that's holding youback.
So, like, even a small example,like growing up, like I praise
(27:32):
my parents for this because theythat they definitely raised me
to be you know independent,strong, but they were there when
they really needed to be there.
How to balance that, I I um Iguess when I have kids, then
it'll be easier for me to saymore about it.
But you know, letting them fall,letting them break their arm,
like that's okay.
Play in the dirt.
(27:54):
I don't know, I really can't saymuch because I can't relate yet.
I don't I haven't had to thinkabout that yet.
So I don't know, I don't want tosay something that's just silly
because of I just can't I can'tbring myself to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:07):
No, I totally get it.
It's it's hard to like visualizeand understand because it was so
much easier pre-kids to be like,oh, just let him fall and get
hurt.
Right.
It is now after even watching myson who's trying to walk fall,
yeah.
It's like, oh, I want to grabhim.
Grab him, don't cry.
Yeah.
No, instead I have to learn,hey, get back up.
Right, exactly.
Let's let's try again, right?
Let's do this again.
So he learns that resilience.
(28:28):
It's a funny word, grit.
I don't know if you rememberlistening to a podcast I made a
couple years ago about whetheror not grit is something that's
actually teachable.
Like, is it something can weteach people to have, or is it
it just inherited and given?
And what we concluded at the endof the 45-minute show was it is
(28:48):
teachable under a push-pullrestraint.
Meaning, if you have somethingthat's scaring you from behind,
some kind of fear, that's amotivator.
You also need to have somethingtangible in front to pull you
forward, that's a motivator.
So I'm gonna, I'm afraid I'mgonna end up in the streets, but
if I do this, I'm gonna bereally successful and be happy
(29:11):
in my life to move forward.
So something's scaring you topush you forward, and
something's pulling you ahead tomotivate you to go further.
And you need both.
One without the other, you don'tsucceed.
So taking that intoconsideration, I want to tie
this into a conversation we'vehad all show.
Okay.
What does that mean for you inyour future?
(29:32):
Understanding that now you knowwhat grid is, and now you can
take that as a motivator foryourself and knowing that your
relationship with God is goingto constantly grow.
Where does Dom see himself infive or ten years?
SPEAKER_00 (29:44):
I think that's hard.
That's hard, uh, that's hard forme to say because um, you know,
we're realistically, who caresabout tomorrow?
You know, just let you know, theLord will sustain you.
But having goals is alsoimportant to do and being
Diligent in that.
I think just trying not to getcaught up too much, and if I'm
not there, then I failed.
(30:05):
And just trusting God's plan forme in five or ten years.
Um I want to touch back on gritreal quick because I feel like
it can be inherited.
Um solely by examples here,especially in our you know,
younger clients here.
I have a few hockey clients,like I have we have younger
clients that feed off of what'syou know the energy in here and
(30:28):
have learned grit over time, youknow, 15, 16 years old, because
they're surrounded by people whohave it.
So I think just even being inthe presence of someone who has
grit, as long as you knowthey're positive, they're a
respectful person, being apositive role model for
somebody, they can inherit that.
(30:53):
I think to touch back, I don'tknow.
Like what can you re-ask thatquestion for me?
SPEAKER_01 (31:02):
What what's knowing that you're constantly evolving
and changing, where you're gonnaend up in five or ten years,
what do you think the big planis for you?
And I'll add context.
Yeah, go for it.
Right?
So we've talked previously, andI think this is an important
topic to talk about, is ourrelationship with our parents.
Yes, and parents go back to thepoint want the best for you,
want to see you succeed, right?
(31:23):
We can establish that as ageneral truth for most people.
SPEAKER_00 (31:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:26):
So they want to protect you, but on the flip
side of that, that protectiondoesn't make you successful.
SPEAKER_00 (31:32):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (31:32):
Right?
Because we now have talked aboutthe resilience of building grit.
You need to have a push-pull,right?
And jumping into something safeisn't what's gonna be what's
gonna make you happy.
Right.
Yeah.
So talk a little bit about wherewhere your parents want you to
go and how that pushes to whatwhere you think you really need
to be.
SPEAKER_00 (31:50):
Yeah, so my parents are very um, you know, they were
young when they had me.
They didn't, they had to kind ofrush into their into their life
a little bit.
And so all they know is, youknow, work, get a pension, and
be done.
And I just can't seem to, Ican't wrap my head around how I
can help somebody through a jobI hate, I don't want to wake up
(32:11):
for.
You know, being away from thepeople I care about the most for
something I don't even likeanyway, just for a paycheck,
that's I just can't, I can't dothat.
It's not me, and that'ssomething that they push, and we
have you know that push-pullrelationship there.
So being able to break free fromthat, you know, obviously that's
a conversation that needs to behad, that will be had.
(32:33):
And it's a it's a very toughonce you're in the situation.
You know, like when I'm home,it's much different mentality of
what I'm thinking than when I assoon as I leave home, because
that's just what is derivedthere.
So being in the situation,obviously I don't want to be
doing that.
I want to be doing somethingthat sets me up to help the most
(32:55):
people that I can.
So that might not be as a policeofficer or a corrections officer
or uh in the sheriff'sdepartment.
It just might not be that I justdon't think that's where my
purpose lies.
My purpose lies in helping themost people I can.
And um what I've learnedrecently through you is the
mentality change of you know,owner versus renter, the owner
(33:19):
owner mentality versus rentermentality.
And it's it's more of you haveto shift the way you think about
things because you don't want tobe safe.
Like, what is the drawback ofhaving the safe?
Like it gives you what you wantat the expense of time, but if
you can win your time back andstill be able to do you know, X,
Y, and Z, you'll be just be ableto help more people at that
(33:42):
point.
So if you can set set your lifeup to um put in a lot of time,
be able to make that time Idon't know how to explain this
the way I want to.
Help me out.
SPEAKER_01 (33:57):
Okay, so let's do an exercise, which I listened to
today, which I really enjoyed.
I kind of brought up earlier.
Okay.
Dom is 90, 95 years old designis that bad.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay.
So what do you want people toremember you as?
Right before you pass, what'sthat fleeting thought?
You're like, hey, I want peopleto know me as this, and I'm
(34:18):
really glad I did this in mylife.
Fill in those blanks.
SPEAKER_00 (34:22):
Well, I want people to look at me and see Jesus.
That is my most important thing.
That is 100% what I want peopleto look at me as as a light and
always a light.
That is my most important thing.
Um I want them to know me foragain, like not giving up on
anybody, helping everybody.
Like I want to be known assomeone that helped people come
(34:44):
out of a dark place or justchange their life around for the
better.
That is what I want to be knownfor.
However, that however I go aboutthat is that's the path I want
to be on.
SPEAKER_01 (34:52):
And whatever And I would just assume be a good
husband.
SPEAKER_00 (34:56):
Right, yeah, be a good husband.
I want to be a good one.
Be a good father if you decideto have kids.
I'm so excited for that.
That's like my I'm lookingforward to that so much.
I can't wait for that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:04):
But like those are things when we fast forward,
right?
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:07):
That are the most important to us.
Yeah.
So why that relates now to thatowner and buying back time, it's
when we buy back time and wegive that capability of opening
up those hours, right?
It does one of two things.
Either the A lets us put anothersystem into place to then buy
back more time, or B, use thattime for those specific things
that we mentioned about.
(35:27):
Yeah.
So then when we're on ourdeathbed, we're not sitting
there going, wow, I wish I hadmore time to do this.
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
So my mentality going intoowning a gym, I knew the time
sacrifice in the beginning wouldbe very tough.
80 hours a week, many years.
But I knew when I had kids, Iwanted to be that dad that was
(35:48):
at every game.
Right.
And I couldn't do that with anine to five because I'd be
called to move into thingssooner or later, especially the
way I was going in the salescareer.
That's 12-hour days.
SPEAKER_00 (35:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
So I would always be up to somebody else to decide
about where I put my hours.
Right.
But that's not what's importantto me.
The flip side of that, youmentioned having a relationship
with Jesus.
For me, beyond my family life,it's making a true impact in the
world.
Right.
And I always live by a quote,they say you die twice.
(36:21):
Yes.
I only die once and liveforever.
Yes.
You use that quote quite a bit.
That's how I feel.
That is a clear.
Since I was five years old, I'vealways wanted to do something, I
just didn't know in what.
And now I have a vehicle to dothat and get there.
So that's why I stress everysingle day and I crave
perfection and excellencebecause I know I have such a
(36:44):
limited window of getting tothat level.
And it's a burden I'm willing todeal with to get there because
that's what I my mark I want toleave.
But relating back to yourself,of having a relationship with
Jesus, how do you buy back yourtime inside of what you're doing
to then give people a betterrelationship with Jesus, whether
(37:06):
that's spending on yourself orteach showing others the way?
SPEAKER_00 (37:10):
I don't know.
That's part of the journey, Ithink, right now.
I am, you know, still a baby ina lot of things in my life.
I'm only a few years into myfaith.
I'm a few years here.
I'm still learning, you know,all these things that I need to
learn.
And I think just being a spongefor now and really soaking in as
much information as I can andapplying that.
Um I think that is that is goingto show me how I would be able
(37:33):
to do that.
Because I don't realisticallyknow how.
I want to be, you know, I wantto own a gym.
I think that's something Ireally want to do.
But I also want to get intoministry and I also want to
memorize the Bible.
And there's so many things Iwant to do.
I just need to kind of calm downand check in with God and make
sure I'm doing what God wants meto do.
Because I know He will give methe desires of my heart if I
(37:55):
follow Him.
So that's that's the track I'mon.
That's the path I want to be onright now.
And uh from there, we shall see.
Just putting all the trust upthere for now.
SPEAKER_01 (38:05):
I just want to leave a point, which I think is
important for a lot of people tolisten and understand this, and
I truly mean this.
It doesn't matter if you own abusiness or work for a business,
yeah.
It matters what ultimately makesyou happy and satisfied.
Yeah.
Money only buys so much.
Yes.
And every single person alwayswishes they have two to three
times their salary.
Yeah.
Doesn't matter how rich theyare.
(38:26):
No.
That's how every people alwaysperceive that will buy them
their happiest, but it's notwhat buys us the happiness.
No.
Instead, if what we want tothink about is how much more
energy are we to be able todeliver to our outside tasks
after we do what we need to dothroughout the day.
So a good example is if you cometo work here and you're you hate
(38:46):
it, right?
Right.
You're not gonna have energy tobe so crammed up, miserable,
going home to do all those extrathings you want to do because
you feel unsatisfied.
SPEAKER_00 (38:56):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (38:56):
Yet again, if you come here and you love your job
and you feel driven, you feellike this is where I need to be,
that energy is gonna carry overat home, and then you're gonna
show up as a better person toyour wife and to your kids and
be able to put those energiesinto the extra things.
And that's irregardless, owneror employee.
SPEAKER_00 (39:16):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think the the mentality thatI've had or that I've seen, you
know, to touch on what you justsaid, growing up, that's kind of
what it was like.
Because my parents really didn'tlike their job.
There wasn't something theyreally loved to do, they didn't
come home happy about it.
You know, it was a little harderon that end.
So I don't want to be that.
(39:37):
So, in ever whatever way I canfigure out how to, you know, be
present no matter what and lovewhat I do.
I I don't think it's far-fetchedto want to set your life up to
love what you do every day.
I don't know why people settlefor anything other than that,
and to me that's mind-boggling.
And I still know some people areyou know fortunate enough to be
able to set their life up thatway, and some people aren't, but
(40:01):
accepting it is something I'mstruggling with regarding that.
I don't know how you couldaccept that because like my
parents, as much as they don'tlike it, they don't they can't
acknowledge anything else, theydon't understand that there is
more ways to do it, and theyhave given me the opportunity to
be able to do what they couldn'tdo.
And sometimes that's a hard, youknow, path to navigate, and you
(40:24):
know, hopefully they'llunderstand at some point.
But I think you know, we're youknow, we're getting there.
But I respect what they believein because they're giving me
everything that they knew, andat the end of the day, you know,
they're living one time too, soI have to show them grace and
honor them the best that I cantoo.
SPEAKER_01 (40:41):
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a tough conversation tonavigate and have through trying
to figure out where you belong.
And I think the last point Iwant to end on this is you can
make anything work.
Yeah, and I think that's whatpeople fail.
We put ourselves in boxes, and Inotice it when you start
thinking about when you look atemployees.
A lot of times employees liveinside a box of what they're
(41:04):
told to do, that's what I do.
But there's always outside thebox answers.
And you can take any career andfigure out how to make it more
successful for you by justthinking crazily outside the
box.
And I've had some conversationswith you about how to do that
here.
Yeah.
And it's not something a lot ofpeople ever thought, so but it's
(41:26):
a thing you can train yourselfto do.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (41:29):
You can look at opportunities and create
something out of nothing.
A lot of people will always saythere's no opportunities out
there.
It's just because they seeeverything as an issue.
Right.
But if you don't look ateverything as an issue, you look
at everything as an opportunity,right?
You start seeing a hundreddifferent types of things and
different avenues to go insideof that thing.
SPEAKER_00 (41:50):
Yeah, it's very uh perception is a crazy thing.
The way you perceive things andthe way you train your brain to
perceive things, you know, itcould it could be detrimental to
your everyday life.
Like that's the one thing I'mworking on now is learning how
to be a little more creative andthe mindset I have or the way I
perceive situations or my life,I'm trying to alter it.
(42:12):
And it's hard because it'ssomething that you've known
forever, you feel like.
So, you know, there's um youhave to surround yourself with
the right people, and I thinkthat's a hard part too,
especially if the space you'rein or the people you think you
know, they don't have thatmindset.
It's hard to find that.
Um, but I think a very importantthing to do is just be on the
(42:36):
path of understanding andacknowledging that you need to
alter that, and that's a veryimportant part of you know,
breaking out of a darker placethat you may have been in, or
maybe you don't want a uhnine-to-five job, but you don't
know anything about it, so yousettle for it anyway.
What steps did you take to eventry and alter that?
(42:58):
Did you read anything?
Did you listen to anything?
Did you look up anything?
So I think um being able toalter your perception on things
is a very important piece.
That is the hardest piece to do.
SPEAKER_01 (43:11):
And you can example it back to your relationship
with Jesus as an example.
So as you learned and grew withthe Bible, you start seeing the
world through a different lens.
SPEAKER_00 (43:19):
Much different, yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (43:21):
And that could be the same true for entrepreneur
lenses or being a better husbandlens or being a better father
lens.
Yes.
There's always different avenuesto see things.
Uh I've learned a lot aboutself-control when it comes to
emotions, learning how toregulate myself.
And over the last five years,like having fights with my wife,
(43:43):
which everyone does, it's nolonger screaming, yelling.
That hasn't happened in fiveyears.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, because I understandthere's one person I can
control, and that's me.
Right.
And if I can control my ownemotions, the temperature just
drops way down and it makes itunreasonable for it to escalate.
SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
Right.
Absolutely.
I couldn't agree more with that.
I think once you, you know, youyou look at who you're blaming,
right?
Like who created the problem?
Are you like take an employerand employee?
Like you're blaming youremployer for not making more
money, but it's really on youbecause you didn't put any extra
time in or you didn't work onthe things that you could be
(44:22):
better at in order to showyourself that you can make more
money, you just want more money.
So it's very similar in the factthat are you can you call
yourself perfect in something?
Or what am I doing that's makingthe situation you know go
negatively or positively, andwhat can I do to change those
things?
And when that doesn't work, thenobviously a different
conversation can be had.
(44:43):
But always look at yourselffirst before pointing any
fingers anywhere, because nineout of ten times, maybe nine
point five out of ten times, youcan change something that will
de-escalate or change yourperspective or life on
something.
SPEAKER_01 (44:57):
I I couldn't agree more.
Dom, we do have to wrap up, so Ido want to thank you for coming
and joining us today.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of Health
and Fitness Redefined.
Excited to do more of these.
Yeah.
Until next time.
And remember, fitness ismedicine.
SPEAKER_00 (45:11):
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01 (45:13):
Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode
of Healthy Fitness Redefined.
Please don't forget to subscribeand share this show with a
friend, with a loved one, forthose that need to hear it.
And ultimately, don't forgetFitness is Medicine.
I'll see you next time.
Hello and welcome to Help Finish Redefind.
I'm your host, Anthony andMinnet, and today we've got
another great sit-down in-personepisode for all of you today.
SPEAKER_00 (00:23):
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure for me to be onhere.
SPEAKER_01 (00:25):
I am extremely excited to do this episode.
For those people that don't knowmy relationship, uh, we end up
talking in the phone for likethree hours sometimes about
specific conversations.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
So we have some good conversations for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
So I'm really excited to do this.
But for those that don't knowyou, let's backtrack all the way
to the beginning and talk aboutwhat projected you into the
fitness and ultimately personaltraining world world.
SPEAKER_00 (00:49):
I kind of uh stumbled upon it.
Not I've tried so many differentthings.
I'm not a bookworm, I'm not goodin school.
I've never really been.
I always tried hard, but Iwasn't, it's just not for me.
I can't sit down and learnthings through a through a
textbook or someone justteaching it and telling you to
memorize these things.
I was always better just beingthrown into it and learning it
(01:12):
that way.
Try to act as a sponge more sothan, you know, I can't just
read something and then memorizeit.
My brain works too fast for meto sit there and actually soak
in what I'm reading or having towrite essays.
Like I never found, in essence,what that was good for for me.
But I know it works for otherpeople, but just not for me.
(01:34):
So I kind of stumbled upon this,trying different things.
I was in construction before Idid this, I was a carpenter, I
did heavy equipment.
Um yeah, that's kind of how Igot here.
And I really don't want to leavedoing this.
This is definitely one of mythis is definitely where I want
to be for the rest of my life,helping people.
SPEAKER_01 (01:53):
So let me ask you specifically for those jobs you
got into prior, what was thelead into those?
Like why construction and heavymachinery?
SPEAKER_00 (02:02):
Opportunities, I think.
I didn't really know.
I worked at a pizzeria at firstwhen I was like 16.
I started at a pizzeria, andthen from there, I was there for
like two, two and a half years,almost three years.
And at first I wanted to open apizzeria.
I wanted to own something, Ialways wanted to own something.
But from there, an opportunitycame up.
(02:23):
One of our clients, actually,who's here now, um, put me in
contact with um somebody forcarpentry.
So from there I learnedcarpentry, and then from there I
knew somebody that led me intoheavy equipment.
So I was just trying stuff out.
I really didn't know.
Carpentry I didn't want to dofor the rest of my life, but I
(02:44):
did learn some valuableinformation, some lessons there
that now I can carry on for therest of my life.
So I feel like everything I havedone has geared me up for
something else.
Like now I know things I neverknew, which I can then put to
practice in other areas of mylife.
SPEAKER_01 (02:59):
So give me a specific example of something
you learned maybe from carpentrythat has given you a life lesson
of things that you still applytoday.
SPEAKER_00 (03:06):
A life lesson?
Well, for one, carpentry wasvery demanding, but also like
eloquent and precise.
Like you had to be very precisein what you were doing, but it
was physically demanding.
You were really you were workinghard, you put in the hours, and
you know, like when you demosomething, it looks chaotic, it
looks messy, it looks gross, butthe finished product is always
(03:30):
beautiful and very nice and it'sclean.
So it's seeing through all thehard work to the end.
Usually at the end is when youstart to see those results of
you know beauty andcompleteness.
SPEAKER_01 (03:42):
I like taking carpentry as an example, and I
don't know if you know this, andcomparing it to weight loss.
SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:47):
So when you first think about somebody who wants
to lose 100, uh 150 pounds, it'smessy, right?
Right.
They're just trying to getmoving, and it's a big jolt of
the system, they're superstressed out.
Yeah.
And then as they drop thatweight and as they get into the
gym, things start becoming moreprecise.
So instead of the general justget moving, get moving becomes
(04:08):
get moving with hitting yourcalorie goals.
And then all the way down to thepoint where finishing touches,
like in carpentry, you'respecifically isolating muscles
now just to make those look moreaesthetically pleasing or to fix
specific injuries.
SPEAKER_00 (04:23):
Yeah, that's actually a crazy analogy.
Yeah, I didn't think I didn'tknow you used that at all,
actually.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
I grew up with carpentry and building homes.
I've been my dad's built 40 plushomes on Long Island, and I'll
never since I was 10 years old.
It was going to job sites anddoing that and watching him do
it.
So I've been in every aspect ofthat world more than this world
initially.
SPEAKER_00 (04:47):
I think like my father, he's I love my dad, but
he's not more of the handymantype of guy.
So he didn't learn much from hisfather either.
So I think an awesome thing thatI also took away from carpentry
and all like all the stuff thatI was doing was all the things I
didn't get to learn growing upor anything like that.
(05:09):
So that to me is also um like apowerful thing.
Like if I didn't know all thisstuff now, I w if I didn't take
that path, I wouldn't be herebecause I don't know, you know.
So all of that is prettyinteresting to think about how
the stuff that I have done orbeen doing, I didn't learn
growing up, whereas some peopledo.
So their paths kind of shiftdifferently into maybe something
(05:33):
they don't find their purposeuntil you know 10, 20 years
later, or they may never, but Ithink I was very fortunate in
that the path I had to carvetaught me things that allowed me
to then put everything into whatI'm doing now.
SPEAKER_01 (05:45):
I feel like most people have thrown into it,
especially with the trainingrealm.
If most trainers I know weren'tathletes, it was the the best
trainers of those that had somekind of life lesson that they
stumbled into the field.
Right.
Like myself as an example.
SPEAKER_00 (06:00):
Me, exactly, same thing.
SPEAKER_01 (06:02):
So, what stumbled you into training from
construction?
SPEAKER_00 (06:07):
I think because I I would go to the gym and I would
work out when I was inconstruction.
So I would do, you know, mysuper long days, I would come
home and then I go to the gymanyway.
But I would always have peopleasking me because they saw me
seeing results for myself,because I was very consistent,
always the same time.
That was when I would go.
And they would ask me and then Iwould try and help them.
And I think I found a love forhelping people and seeing them
(06:31):
do better and grow.
The like their results made mehappier than my own.
So that's kind of how I got intothis.
SPEAKER_01 (06:37):
So more of a need to help others.
SPEAKER_00 (06:40):
That is my biggest, that is my purpose for sure.
SPEAKER_01 (06:43):
And that is something I wanted to really
address about today as a maintopic for us, is your ability
and understanding to helpothers.
And what I've noticed for mefrom the last couple of years is
especially because that tiesinto like the religious aspect,
you've gotten more religiousover the time I've known you in
the last two years.
Yes, absolutely.
So I think that has a directcorrelation to what makes you a
(07:06):
good trainer.
Okay.
And I would like to dive alittle deeper into what
projected you into being morereligious and finding your place
with God.
SPEAKER_00 (07:15):
Okay.
So, first off, I would think,especially for anybody
listening, I wouldn't considerit a religion.
I would 100% consider itrelationship.
You know, religion is muchdifferent than relationship.
Um, if you can basis, you know,your ideas or beliefs or your
morals on like religion to meseems more legalistic.
(07:37):
And legalistic to me is morecancerous to somebody who's
seeking a relationship with God.
Legalism kind of destroys thatand makes you have to hit X, Y,
and Z.
Some of it doesn't even pertainto the Bible or what's being
talked about.
Seeking the relationship, youknow, and letting God and
letting Jesus, you know, rendyour heart and fix it, that is
where um that is where you willfind God and Jesus more.
SPEAKER_01 (08:01):
Um over the last few years, how did I get like what
got you into it having a betterrelationship with God?
SPEAKER_00 (08:14):
My grandfather, he had a stroke, and I didn't even
know I had a Bible.
This was a few years ago now.
I didn't even know I had a Biblein my room.
I always believed in uh God.
I didn't really know Jesus, sothere was a difference there.
I didn't know.
I always pertain to there hasn'tit makes zero sense for there to
(08:34):
not be a God just based on youknow the world and how it is.
It's impossible for me tobelieve that we were all here by
accident in a you know perfectworld for all of us to live.
That that I can't wrap my headaround.
Um my grandfather had a stroke afew years ago.
I didn't know I had a Bible.
After he had a stroke, I prayedfor the first time, and then my
(08:57):
Bible like fell out of my closetthat I didn't know I had, which
was my grandfather who had astroke.
It was his parents.
It was a very old Bible.
I still have it.
There's um like wedding petalsin it.
It's very old, it's very cool.
So that's how I first got intoit.
I prayed to God.
(09:18):
Um, I went there, a few miracleshappened, normal signs for me.
I was like, please let him openhis eyes when I come.
Because he wouldn't open hiseyes, he couldn't, he was better
it and he was still out.
But anytime I would go, thingslike that would happen, and they
would, you know, come to life.
And I just attributed thatstraight to God, and that's kind
of what kickstarted everything.
Um how did I get more and moreinto it?
(09:40):
Because I fell off a little bitafter that, kind of wrapping my
head around it and you know whatlife was and how I am.
Jesus did that.
He always pulled me back in whenI would uh you know veer off the
path or veer off in somewhere Iwasn't supposed to be.
So from there I kind of juststarted reading more, trying to
change my ways, and now it'sjust everything I everything I
(10:04):
have in my life is attributed toyou know Jesus and God, and I
wouldn't be where I am, Iwouldn't be capable of helping
anybody without that rightthere.
That is like my source.
SPEAKER_01 (10:17):
So do you think your relationship is strong enough
where you can understand whatyour primary purpose is?
SPEAKER_00 (10:22):
Yeah, he tells me.
SPEAKER_01 (10:23):
So what is that primary purpose for you?
SPEAKER_00 (10:25):
To help people, change people's lives, to break
people out of prison, leadpeople from darkness to light.
SPEAKER_01 (10:31):
So taking that into consideration, right?
Where do you feel you can bestgive that kind of help?
SPEAKER_00 (10:39):
Right, right.
What I'm doing now.
That's where that's generally.
SPEAKER_01 (10:42):
So how does that relate?
How does that correlate in?
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
How does it correlate in?
Well, being of uh being aservant to others, giving
everyone a chance no matterwhat.
You know, I have a few clientshere that tell me they've never
gotten a chance, or theirparents tell me they've never
gotten a chance.
And it's hard, and I I bleedhere, like I get beat up here,
but it's there's no giving up onsomeone that deserves a chance.
(11:05):
And you know, and now they'regreat, now they're capable of
working out with everybody, youknow.
I just have a very hard timesaying no to help.
If someone needs help, I will,you know, do my best for them.
And that's that's kind of thecorrelation, is my source comes
from Jesus, who, you know, asmuch energy as I expend in
helping people, it's always youknow revitalized or I always get
(11:27):
recharged, and then I come backin and do the same thing.
That's kind of where it stemsfrom.
SPEAKER_01 (11:32):
So that constant need to just go out and those
people that no one else wants tohelp and no one else wants to
work with, getting them on theright path.
And I like to give contextbecause a lot of people don't
know who you are as anindividual.
Dom actually talked aboutstumbling, something you
mentioned a little bit ago,stumbled into working for us by
accident, was kind of likereferred to us last minute and
(11:55):
got a job, and then after that,stumbled into working with our
special needs population we workhere.
Yeah.
And with that, took thatchallenge, because it is a
challenge, yeah, and branched,and I can say with knowing and
watching thousands of sessions,you truly are the best at this.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
Oh, I think I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01 (12:16):
I mean that.
I have never seen anyone connectwith that population more than
you have.
I have never seen anybody like Iknow we help, but you take it to
the next level.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
I appreciate that.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
And I really I've seen things that always broke
limiting beliefs that kind ofcreep back in my head.
I always find myself like I'mlike, no, there's no limiting
beliefs, I can get through it,and then life creepers, oh maybe
there is, maybe there is, andthen gets broken.
Then you've constantly have donethat for me with the company and
have really like rejuvenated aspecific purpose for myself and
(12:51):
for them.
So knowing that that comes froma relationship with God is
something awesome to hear thatyou've that's why you're giving
back to that community.
SPEAKER_00 (12:59):
I appreciate that very much.
Those are very nice words.
Um the interesting part of thatis as my relationship grew with
God, my success here has grownexponentially.
So when I first started and Iwas just kind of thrown into it,
I took over your schedule.
I remember.
I had a few special needsclients, I had no idea what I
was doing.
I had no idea.
(13:20):
Even with some of my clients, Ireally like didn't have
something to pull from, I feltlike like I knew how to work
out, but I didn't have any likesub like sustenance behind it.
I didn't have like a why or areason.
I just wanted to help people,but it was more of like I
wouldn't say laxadaisical, butthere wasn't like like a like
(13:41):
it's a desire.
Like I need to help you, I wantto help you, I want to see you
succeed.
And at first it wasn't likethat, but now you know, God, God
had given me that ability toreach everybody no matter who
they are, and help them throughwhatever.
And it's it's all it's honestlyawesome to see the capabilities
that some of these, you know,people have because you just
(14:04):
don't give up on them and youtrust in the Lord to help them.
You know, I prayed to God overalmost all my clients to help
me.
Before I come in, I pray andjust say, give me strength to
help everybody today.
And I think that's just reallyhelped connect with them and
they see the value in it, theychange their lives, like their
lives are changed.
Like I've seen you know someclients who are 38, they're
(14:25):
older than me, right?
And they leave, like they becomemore confident in themselves,
and they go and they try newthings and learn new things.
And I always get texts or calls,and they're just like, I've
never seen him, you know, bethis way.
And that's like that's how Iknow like I really did help
somebody, and that's verytouching for me for some of
(14:46):
these clients.
SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
I'll take it to the extreme of things I've seen.
So we have I'm not gonna givespecific names, but this is a
specific client that I work withthat's non-verbal.
Yeah, and he's been coming forabout three years, and I've seen
videos of the things and stuffhe's done at home that his
parents like tell me that he'snever done this in his life.
Yeah, and they contribute thatto working specifically with you
(15:09):
here.
SPEAKER_00 (15:10):
Oh my gosh, that is that is I'm so I don't know how
to feel about that.
SPEAKER_01 (15:14):
Yeah, it's awesome.
Like you're you're givingsomebody that I I know like as a
society we're changing about howwe deal and work with certain
special populations, but theystill are given like a
half-hand.
Yeah.
And yeah, you're taking that andhelping them grow and really
giving them the attention theyneed to better their lives more
(15:38):
than most people have everthought possible.
SPEAKER_00 (15:41):
Yeah, I um I don't ever say it's me because it
isn't, because it wouldn't be mewithout God or Jesus, or it
wouldn't be me without, youknow, like I the fruit I bear is
from you know my life and mystruggles, and I'm just so happy
that I can bear fruit for othersthat they can actually move
(16:03):
forward and finally see thatthey are capable of things and
see that they are strong andthey are, you know, they can be
somebody and who they want tobe.
I had a client who just movedout into an apartment.
It he lives with mom still, buthe's on his own, it's his own
space.
He's able to now, he feels moreconfident and like masculine in
(16:25):
him in him in himself, which isawesome to see too.
And I just don't attributeanything to my own doing, it's
all the Lord's, and I uh I'mjust so appreciative of that.
SPEAKER_01 (16:35):
Yeah, is there anything specific you think you
do with them that could maybebenefit people listening that
don't have the luxury of cominghere or whatever?
You can say, hey, try thesespecific habits, it helps with
try the hat.
SPEAKER_00 (16:48):
Try well, first of all, almost everyone that I've
met, their patience level like Iwish we had a meter that you
could see how big some you knowpeople's patience levels were
because some people are justabsolute saints, they're just
awesome.
And I think the biggest thebiggest habit that you can work
on for yourself is patience.
(17:08):
You need to have patience, youneed to be willing to get beat
up, you need to be willing totake a few hits, because you
know, through suffering alwayscomes success.
So being able to bear with themand just uh be there for them,
try to be a light in a darkplace, because you know, your
darkness might be a light forsomebody, so you might be
(17:28):
feeling some way, but when theylook at you, they they feel
safe, they feel confident, theyfeel happy.
So being able to try and be alight always is is, in my
opinion, a habit to focus onpositive affirmations, just
telling yourself, hey, I want tobe, you know, today we're gonna
be happy, we're gonna try toportray happiness for somebody,
even if you don't feel that way.
(17:49):
And that energy gets, you know,they feed into that, and maybe
you'll get through through someto somebody that really does,
you know, not feel happy, butbecause you're constantly
feeding them positive things orconstantly being there for them,
being a light for them, youknow, they can switch, they can
switch their own mentality, andthat's something I feel is the
(18:09):
most important thing.
SPEAKER_01 (18:10):
You know the quickest way to make someone
happy?
SPEAKER_00 (18:12):
What?
SPEAKER_01 (18:13):
Put them in a room full of happy people.
SPEAKER_00 (18:14):
Yeah.
They can't.
It's impossible.
It is so impossible.
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
So little things like that that we don't realize
in our day-to-day.
If you took a group of 10 peopleand you said to one person,
you're gonna be the miserablegrouch, and everyone else is
gonna be happy.
Over time, that miserable grouchwill slowly make everyone happy.
You take the same group of tenpeople, you make two people
miserable, everyone will bemiserable.
So there's a point, there's asituation in our lives where if
(18:41):
we sense that one or two peopleare really bringing that energy
down, we all end up going downinstead of the eight bringing
the two up.
SPEAKER_00 (18:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (18:47):
Which I think is still interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
It is interesting, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:50):
So when you bring this to a household, right, and
you have a shorter sample size,maybe mom, dad, two kids.
Right.
One kid is watching mom and dadbicker.
What's gonna happen?
Everyone else is gonna exactlevels are gonna go up.
Right.
And that might come out,especially with maybe it's like
a non-verbal, a little moreextreme, you know, a little
higher.
(19:10):
Right.
Not that it was intentional ofthat stress level, because I'm
sure it is, but it's learninghow to constantly put yourselves
in those higher patience zones.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (19:21):
Yeah.
Um, patience is a big one.
And I think, you know, noteveryone, I think, I think
something that doesn't gettalked about enough is like baby
talk.
I act like a big brother orlittle brother to everybody in
there.
I'm I'm not gonna say I'm mean,but I'm stern when I have to be.
But we'll roll around and havefun too.
Like you need to, especiallynonverbal clients, they don't
(19:45):
they're very capable ofunderstanding what's going on.
They don't want to be talkedthat way, especially when
they're older.
So I think that's something thatalso kind of switches the way a
client would speak or anonverbal client, how they would
feel, is they understand thatyou're talking down to them.
Like you don't have to talk downto them.
(20:05):
That's a very good habit to alsolook into and check yourself on.
Because if you're like if you'retalking in that way, maybe
that's why you can't getthrough.
Like just stoop down to theirlevel, just you know, look at
you know, eye level and just bethere with them, and just talk
to them how you would talk toanybody.
And that's I feel like thesecond most um successful thing
(20:26):
that I have run into.
As soon as I started reallybeing like that and just
understanding that we're allhuman too.
They feel your energy, theyunderstand, they understand way
more than you think.
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
True.
SPEAKER_00 (20:40):
You know, we had a nonverbal client who was just
talking, who was spelling out onthe spellboard, and I thought
that was the most amazing thingever because he's never said a
word, or you wouldn't even thinkhe understands you.
But he repeated everything wesaid in it.
He said he was so happy that youknow he learned that.
They thought he would never beable to jump, and we were doing
hurdles, and it was one of hisfavorite exercises that he's
(21:01):
ever done, and he spelled itout, and it was just it was
great.
So I think that's another habitthat we should keep in mind.
Those are the two biggestthings.
SPEAKER_01 (21:09):
I mean, baby talking is dehumanizing.
SPEAKER_00 (21:11):
Yeah, 100%.
SPEAKER_01 (21:12):
And what's really interesting if you look at
psychology, I think it's afterthe age of six months, it's
young, where we only have babytalk because high pitches get
across to kids under the age ofsix months.
Right?
You can they could pitch uppitches, they don't understand
what you're saying with thebigger pitches.
After the kid starts gettingolder, they actually learn way
less from baby talking and highpitching, and they learn way
(21:34):
better from a clear voice.
So, this is my normal voices.
I'm gonna talk to my son whenhe's one or two, which to a lot
of people they still come andact like a baby too.
Yeah, no.
So, why do that to a full-grownadult?
SPEAKER_00 (21:46):
Never, never ever.
I think that's a very important.
Don't look at them as a youknow, a client that needs
special accommodations, althoughthey might.
They're just your client, andyou're gonna do everything in
your power to give them asession that they need, or even
just in general, when you seethe someone out and about, they
are still just a person, they'rejust they just need different
accommodations than you.
So treat them as a person, talkto them as a person, and I think
(22:10):
that is a very very importantthing that I see too from AIDS
or even parents sometimes that Ijust wish could be changed.
I think that's the biggestthing.
SPEAKER_01 (22:20):
Yeah, I I couldn't agree more.
I want to just uh kind of goback in our conversation part of
something you mentioned.
You said because of mystruggles, yeah, this is why.
So break down what you meant bythat.
SPEAKER_00 (22:32):
Okay, so I mean, growing up I played ice hockey
and I was very adamant aboutplaying ice hockey.
That was uh, you know, rollercoaster of an emotional roller
coaster there.
I didn't know God, I didn't knowyou know anything about Jesus.
I was just kind of playinghockey, doing everything myself.
I always had um a heart foreverybody.
(22:53):
Like I wanted everyone, I stillwanted everyone to succeed.
I still had that same heart, butmy heart posture was just not
aligned properly.
Um even struggles like the lastfive years, the way I talk to
people, um, I know we don't havea ton of time, but I'll totally
go over all you know my lifeleading up to now and what I
really mean.
(23:13):
But just being able to connectwith somebody because of the
things I deal with.
So I'm able to put myself andhow I felt when I was dealing
with all of you know justcertain things.
I would never want someone tofeel that way, and that has only
strengthened with my faith.
So the way I talk to people orgossiped or what I said to
(23:35):
people or how I treated them,just all of those things made
them feel you know bad or notgood, or just I I just now that
my heart posture has changed, Icould never like looking back on
those things, yeah that eats meup.
I still think about all or youknow, times that I've done that,
(23:55):
and I just can't like I just tryto put myself in the shoes of
someone else, and I would neverwant them to feel that way based
on how I felt when that'shappened to me, and knowing how
they felt when I was doing thatto them.
So that's sort of that's sort ofhow I have come to where I am
now, is that I just don't wantto put anyone in pain.
(24:16):
Like that's not that's not whatwe're here for.
We're here to uplift and helpand love and serve people, like
that's what we do.
SPEAKER_01 (24:23):
So the struggle is more just to kind of summarize
it was you giving to the peoplenegative.
SPEAKER_00 (24:28):
That's that's part of it.
I mean, there's a ton, uh, youknow, hockey's not the easiest
sport.
I learned all a lot of lifelessons in hockey.
Um emotionally, like I put allmy hours into that.
Practice, you know, go toschool, come home, practice all
day, do homework for like 30minutes, try it as fast as I can
get it done, go to the rink andplay all night.
(24:51):
And I put a lot of time intothat.
I moved away to play hockey.
I moved out of state to play astate of the billet family.
But it was just very emotionallydraining, you know, being told
something like, hey, we want youon our team, and then hey, we
have relationships with otherparents, we're just not gonna
take you.
Although you're, you know, veryskilled and you're one of the
best out here.
I'm sorry, we can't do that.
(25:11):
So it's just a lot of when youput so much energy and so much
of your whole life intosomething to just get it
stripped away from you is hard,and that happened a lot growing
up for me.
SPEAKER_01 (25:23):
Um Do you think that was a good thing?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to say thatdepression is um this big evil
thing.
I don't I don't want to say thatit's a good thing either, but I
think it's definitely amotivator and a and a way to
kick start you into you knowwhere you're supposed to be.
(25:46):
Use it as a lesson.
I know it sucks and I know it'shard.
I was there.
But without without thosehardships and those you know
depressive points that I was in,I would never be where I am
today.
I would never be able to givewhat I give today and serve how
I serve today.
So without those things, Iwouldn't, I wouldn't be half the
person I am now.
SPEAKER_01 (26:04):
Such an interesting topic I've been thinking about a
lot after uh now having a kidand then having another kid on
the way is depression andstruggles as a whole.
Yeah.
Right?
As a parent, you constantly wantto do and protect your kids.
Yeah.
You want to make sure your kidshave more than you ever had in
your life, they're protected,and you don't want to see them
(26:25):
get hurt.
But here's the interesting partabout all of this.
Every time you talk to peoplewho are truly happy or
successful in life, how theydefine their own success, they
have had to go through strugglesand overcome them.
Right.
So taking my story, taking evenyour story, another one of the
other people I've talked to,without those struggles, they
(26:47):
wouldn't be who they are todayand be able to give what they
give today because they wouldnever have learned those
lessons.
Right.
So how do you balance giving alife for your kids and trying to
protect them, but then you'reactually just doing them a
disservice by constantly pickingup the pieces for them when they
really learn to pick themselvesup?
SPEAKER_00 (27:08):
How do you balance that?
Well, I think resistance is anecessity.
You know, you can't take gravityor space for an example.
If you're just floating throughspace and you need to get to a
point, you need to get, youknow, back to Earth, say,
whatever, if you have noresistance, you can't.
You're just floating.
So in order to propel forwardpositively, you need some sort
of resistance that's holding youback.
So, like, even a small example,like growing up, like I praise
(27:32):
my parents for this because theythat they definitely raised me
to be you know independent,strong, but they were there when
they really needed to be there.
How to balance that, I I um Iguess when I have kids, then
it'll be easier for me to saymore about it.
But you know, letting them fall,letting them break their arm,
like that's okay.
Play in the dirt.
(27:54):
I don't know, I really can't saymuch because I can't relate yet.
I don't I haven't had to thinkabout that yet.
So I don't know, I don't want tosay something that's just silly
because of I just can't I can'tbring myself to do that.
SPEAKER_01 (28:07):
No, I totally get it.
It's it's hard to like visualizeand understand because it was so
much easier pre-kids to be like,oh, just let him fall and get
hurt.
Right.
It is now after even watching myson who's trying to walk fall,
yeah.
It's like, oh, I want to grabhim.
Grab him, don't cry.
Yeah.
No, instead I have to learn,hey, get back up.
Right, exactly.
Let's let's try again, right?
Let's do this again.
So he learns that resilience.
(28:28):
It's a funny word, grit.
I don't know if you rememberlistening to a podcast I made a
couple years ago about whetheror not grit is something that's
actually teachable.
Like, is it something can weteach people to have, or is it
it just inherited and given?
And what we concluded at the endof the 45-minute show was it is
(28:48):
teachable under a push-pullrestraint.
Meaning, if you have somethingthat's scaring you from behind,
some kind of fear, that's amotivator.
You also need to have somethingtangible in front to pull you
forward, that's a motivator.
So I'm gonna, I'm afraid I'mgonna end up in the streets, but
if I do this, I'm gonna bereally successful and be happy
(29:11):
in my life to move forward.
So something's scaring you topush you forward, and
something's pulling you ahead tomotivate you to go further.
And you need both.
One without the other, you don'tsucceed.
So taking that intoconsideration, I want to tie
this into a conversation we'vehad all show.
Okay.
What does that mean for you inyour future?
(29:32):
Understanding that now you knowwhat grid is, and now you can
take that as a motivator foryourself and knowing that your
relationship with God is goingto constantly grow.
Where does Dom see himself infive or ten years?
SPEAKER_00 (29:44):
I think that's hard.
That's hard, uh, that's hard forme to say because um, you know,
we're realistically, who caresabout tomorrow?
You know, just let you know, theLord will sustain you.
But having goals is alsoimportant to do and being
Diligent in that.
I think just trying not to getcaught up too much, and if I'm
not there, then I failed.
(30:05):
And just trusting God's plan forme in five or ten years.
Um I want to touch back on gritreal quick because I feel like
it can be inherited.
Um solely by examples here,especially in our you know,
younger clients here.
I have a few hockey clients,like I have we have younger
clients that feed off of what'syou know the energy in here and
(30:28):
have learned grit over time, youknow, 15, 16 years old, because
they're surrounded by people whohave it.
So I think just even being inthe presence of someone who has
grit, as long as you knowthey're positive, they're a
respectful person, being apositive role model for
somebody, they can inherit that.
(30:53):
I think to touch back, I don'tknow.
Like what can you re-ask thatquestion for me?
SPEAKER_01 (31:02):
What what's knowing that you're constantly evolving
and changing, where you're gonnaend up in five or ten years,
what do you think the big planis for you?
And I'll add context.
Yeah, go for it.
Right?
So we've talked previously, andI think this is an important
topic to talk about, is ourrelationship with our parents.
Yes, and parents go back to thepoint want the best for you,
want to see you succeed, right?
(31:23):
We can establish that as ageneral truth for most people.
SPEAKER_00 (31:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:26):
So they want to protect you, but on the flip
side of that, that protectiondoesn't make you successful.
SPEAKER_00 (31:32):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (31:32):
Right?
Because we now have talked aboutthe resilience of building grit.
You need to have a push-pull,right?
And jumping into something safeisn't what's gonna be what's
gonna make you happy.
Right.
Yeah.
So talk a little bit about wherewhere your parents want you to
go and how that pushes to whatwhere you think you really need
to be.
SPEAKER_00 (31:50):
Yeah, so my parents are very um, you know, they were
young when they had me.
They didn't, they had to kind ofrush into their into their life
a little bit.
And so all they know is, youknow, work, get a pension, and
be done.
And I just can't seem to, Ican't wrap my head around how I
can help somebody through a jobI hate, I don't want to wake up
(32:11):
for.
You know, being away from thepeople I care about the most for
something I don't even likeanyway, just for a paycheck,
that's I just can't, I can't dothat.
It's not me, and that'ssomething that they push, and we
have you know that push-pullrelationship there.
So being able to break free fromthat, you know, obviously that's
a conversation that needs to behad, that will be had.
(32:33):
And it's a it's a very toughonce you're in the situation.
You know, like when I'm home,it's much different mentality of
what I'm thinking than when I assoon as I leave home, because
that's just what is derivedthere.
So being in the situation,obviously I don't want to be
doing that.
I want to be doing somethingthat sets me up to help the most
(32:55):
people that I can.
So that might not be as a policeofficer or a corrections officer
or uh in the sheriff'sdepartment.
It just might not be that I justdon't think that's where my
purpose lies.
My purpose lies in helping themost people I can.
And um what I've learnedrecently through you is the
mentality change of you know,owner versus renter, the owner
(33:19):
owner mentality versus rentermentality.
And it's it's more of you haveto shift the way you think about
things because you don't want tobe safe.
Like, what is the drawback ofhaving the safe?
Like it gives you what you wantat the expense of time, but if
you can win your time back andstill be able to do you know, X,
Y, and Z, you'll be just be ableto help more people at that
(33:42):
point.
So if you can set set your lifeup to um put in a lot of time,
be able to make that time Idon't know how to explain this
the way I want to.
Help me out.
SPEAKER_01 (33:57):
Okay, so let's do an exercise, which I listened to
today, which I really enjoyed.
I kind of brought up earlier.
Okay.
Dom is 90, 95 years old designis that bad.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay.
So what do you want people toremember you as?
Right before you pass, what'sthat fleeting thought?
You're like, hey, I want peopleto know me as this, and I'm
(34:18):
really glad I did this in mylife.
Fill in those blanks.
SPEAKER_00 (34:22):
Well, I want people to look at me and see Jesus.
That is my most important thing.
That is 100% what I want peopleto look at me as as a light and
always a light.
That is my most important thing.
Um I want them to know me foragain, like not giving up on
anybody, helping everybody.
Like I want to be known assomeone that helped people come
(34:44):
out of a dark place or justchange their life around for the
better.
That is what I want to be knownfor.
However, that however I go aboutthat is that's the path I want
to be on.
SPEAKER_01 (34:52):
And whatever And I would just assume be a good
husband.
SPEAKER_00 (34:56):
Right, yeah, be a good husband.
I want to be a good one.
Be a good father if you decideto have kids.
I'm so excited for that.
That's like my I'm lookingforward to that so much.
I can't wait for that.
SPEAKER_01 (35:04):
But like those are things when we fast forward,
right?
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:07):
That are the most important to us.
Yeah.
So why that relates now to thatowner and buying back time, it's
when we buy back time and wegive that capability of opening
up those hours, right?
It does one of two things.
Either the A lets us put anothersystem into place to then buy
back more time, or B, use thattime for those specific things
that we mentioned about.
(35:27):
Yeah.
So then when we're on ourdeathbed, we're not sitting
there going, wow, I wish I hadmore time to do this.
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
So my mentality going intoowning a gym, I knew the time
sacrifice in the beginning wouldbe very tough.
80 hours a week, many years.
But I knew when I had kids, Iwanted to be that dad that was
(35:48):
at every game.
Right.
And I couldn't do that with anine to five because I'd be
called to move into thingssooner or later, especially the
way I was going in the salescareer.
That's 12-hour days.
SPEAKER_00 (35:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
So I would always be up to somebody else to decide
about where I put my hours.
Right.
But that's not what's importantto me.
The flip side of that, youmentioned having a relationship
with Jesus.
For me, beyond my family life,it's making a true impact in the
world.
Right.
And I always live by a quote,they say you die twice.
(36:21):
Yes.
I only die once and liveforever.
Yes.
You use that quote quite a bit.
That's how I feel.
That is a clear.
Since I was five years old, I'vealways wanted to do something, I
just didn't know in what.
And now I have a vehicle to dothat and get there.
So that's why I stress everysingle day and I crave
perfection and excellencebecause I know I have such a
(36:44):
limited window of getting tothat level.
And it's a burden I'm willing todeal with to get there because
that's what I my mark I want toleave.
But relating back to yourself,of having a relationship with
Jesus, how do you buy back yourtime inside of what you're doing
to then give people a betterrelationship with Jesus, whether
(37:06):
that's spending on yourself orteach showing others the way?
SPEAKER_00 (37:10):
I don't know.
That's part of the journey, Ithink, right now.
I am, you know, still a baby ina lot of things in my life.
I'm only a few years into myfaith.
I'm a few years here.
I'm still learning, you know,all these things that I need to
learn.
And I think just being a spongefor now and really soaking in as
much information as I can andapplying that.
Um I think that is that is goingto show me how I would be able
(37:33):
to do that.
Because I don't realisticallyknow how.
I want to be, you know, I wantto own a gym.
I think that's something Ireally want to do.
But I also want to get intoministry and I also want to
memorize the Bible.
And there's so many things Iwant to do.
I just need to kind of calm downand check in with God and make
sure I'm doing what God wants meto do.
Because I know He will give methe desires of my heart if I
(37:55):
follow Him.
So that's that's the track I'mon.
That's the path I want to be onright now.
And uh from there, we shall see.
Just putting all the trust upthere for now.
SPEAKER_01 (38:05):
I just want to leave a point, which I think is
important for a lot of people tolisten and understand this, and
I truly mean this.
It doesn't matter if you own abusiness or work for a business,
yeah.
It matters what ultimately makesyou happy and satisfied.
Yeah.
Money only buys so much.
Yes.
And every single person alwayswishes they have two to three
times their salary.
Yeah.
Doesn't matter how rich theyare.
(38:26):
No.
That's how every people alwaysperceive that will buy them
their happiest, but it's notwhat buys us the happiness.
No.
Instead, if what we want tothink about is how much more
energy are we to be able todeliver to our outside tasks
after we do what we need to dothroughout the day.
So a good example is if you cometo work here and you're you hate
(38:46):
it, right?
Right.
You're not gonna have energy tobe so crammed up, miserable,
going home to do all those extrathings you want to do because
you feel unsatisfied.
SPEAKER_00 (38:56):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (38:56):
Yet again, if you come here and you love your job
and you feel driven, you feellike this is where I need to be,
that energy is gonna carry overat home, and then you're gonna
show up as a better person toyour wife and to your kids and
be able to put those energiesinto the extra things.
And that's irregardless, owneror employee.
SPEAKER_00 (39:16):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
I think the the mentality thatI've had or that I've seen, you
know, to touch on what you justsaid, growing up, that's kind of
what it was like.
Because my parents really didn'tlike their job.
There wasn't something theyreally loved to do, they didn't
come home happy about it.
You know, it was a little harderon that end.
So I don't want to be that.
(39:37):
So, in ever whatever way I canfigure out how to, you know, be
present no matter what and lovewhat I do.
I I don't think it's far-fetchedto want to set your life up to
love what you do every day.
I don't know why people settlefor anything other than that,
and to me that's mind-boggling.
And I still know some people areyou know fortunate enough to be
able to set their life up thatway, and some people aren't, but
(40:01):
accepting it is something I'mstruggling with regarding that.
I don't know how you couldaccept that because like my
parents, as much as they don'tlike it, they don't they can't
acknowledge anything else, theydon't understand that there is
more ways to do it, and theyhave given me the opportunity to
be able to do what they couldn'tdo.
And sometimes that's a hard, youknow, path to navigate, and you
(40:24):
know, hopefully they'llunderstand at some point.
But I think you know, we're youknow, we're getting there.
But I respect what they believein because they're giving me
everything that they knew, andat the end of the day, you know,
they're living one time too, soI have to show them grace and
honor them the best that I cantoo.
SPEAKER_01 (40:41):
Yeah, absolutely.
It's a tough conversation tonavigate and have through trying
to figure out where you belong.
And I think the last point Iwant to end on this is you can
make anything work.
Yeah, and I think that's whatpeople fail.
We put ourselves in boxes, and Inotice it when you start
thinking about when you look atemployees.
A lot of times employees liveinside a box of what they're
(41:04):
told to do, that's what I do.
But there's always outside thebox answers.
And you can take any career andfigure out how to make it more
successful for you by justthinking crazily outside the
box.
And I've had some conversationswith you about how to do that
here.
Yeah.
And it's not something a lot ofpeople ever thought, so but it's
(41:26):
a thing you can train yourselfto do.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (41:29):
You can look at opportunities and create
something out of nothing.
A lot of people will always saythere's no opportunities out
there.
It's just because they seeeverything as an issue.
Right.
But if you don't look ateverything as an issue, you look
at everything as an opportunity,right?
You start seeing a hundreddifferent types of things and
different avenues to go insideof that thing.
SPEAKER_00 (41:50):
Yeah, it's very uh perception is a crazy thing.
The way you perceive things andthe way you train your brain to
perceive things, you know, itcould it could be detrimental to
your everyday life.
Like that's the one thing I'mworking on now is learning how
to be a little more creative andthe mindset I have or the way I
perceive situations or my life,I'm trying to alter it.
(42:12):
And it's hard because it'ssomething that you've known
forever, you feel like.
So, you know, there's um youhave to surround yourself with
the right people, and I thinkthat's a hard part too,
especially if the space you'rein or the people you think you
know, they don't have thatmindset.
It's hard to find that.
Um, but I think a very importantthing to do is just be on the
(42:36):
path of understanding andacknowledging that you need to
alter that, and that's a veryimportant part of you know,
breaking out of a darker placethat you may have been in, or
maybe you don't want a uhnine-to-five job, but you don't
know anything about it, so yousettle for it anyway.
What steps did you take to eventry and alter that?
(42:58):
Did you read anything?
Did you listen to anything?
Did you look up anything?
So I think um being able toalter your perception on things
is a very important piece.
That is the hardest piece to do.
SPEAKER_01 (43:11):
And you can example it back to your relationship
with Jesus as an example.
So as you learned and grew withthe Bible, you start seeing the
world through a different lens.
SPEAKER_00 (43:19):
Much different, yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01 (43:21):
And that could be the same true for entrepreneur
lenses or being a better husbandlens or being a better father
lens.
Yes.
There's always different avenuesto see things.
Uh I've learned a lot aboutself-control when it comes to
emotions, learning how toregulate myself.
And over the last five years,like having fights with my wife,
(43:43):
which everyone does, it's nolonger screaming, yelling.
That hasn't happened in fiveyears.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Like, because I understandthere's one person I can
control, and that's me.
Right.
And if I can control my ownemotions, the temperature just
drops way down and it makes itunreasonable for it to escalate.
SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
Right.
Absolutely.
I couldn't agree more with that.
I think once you, you know, youyou look at who you're blaming,
right?
Like who created the problem?
Are you like take an employerand employee?
Like you're blaming youremployer for not making more
money, but it's really on youbecause you didn't put any extra
time in or you didn't work onthe things that you could be
(44:22):
better at in order to showyourself that you can make more
money, you just want more money.
So it's very similar in the factthat are you can you call
yourself perfect in something?
Or what am I doing that's makingthe situation you know go
negatively or positively, andwhat can I do to change those
things?
And when that doesn't work, thenobviously a different
conversation can be had.
(44:43):
But always look at yourselffirst before pointing any
fingers anywhere, because nineout of ten times, maybe nine
point five out of ten times, youcan change something that will
de-escalate or change yourperspective or life on
something.
SPEAKER_01 (44:57):
I I couldn't agree more.
Dom, we do have to wrap up, so Ido want to thank you for coming
and joining us today.
Thank you guys for listening tothis week's episode of Health
and Fitness Redefined.
Excited to do more of these.
Yeah.
Until next time.
And remember, fitness ismedicine.
SPEAKER_00 (45:11):
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01 (45:13):
Thank you guys for listening to this week's episode
of Healthy Fitness Redefined.
Please don't forget to subscribeand share this show with a
friend, with a loved one, forthose that need to hear it.
And ultimately, don't forgetFitness is Medicine.
I'll see you next time.
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