December 18, 2025 • 32 mins
What if the story we tell about dementia is upside down? Jill sits down with author and advocate Marilyn Raichle to trace her path from reluctant caregiver to devoted care partner for her mother, Jean—a journey sparked by a single painting class that turned fear into curiosity and connection. Instead of bracing for loss, Marilyn learned to invite joy first, and everything changed: colors warmed, conversations opened, and the person everyone thought was gone stepped forward again.
We unpack the small choices that make a big difference—arriving early to build a calm day, choosing rituals that prime the brain for engagement, and replacing “Do you remember?” with open questions that honor dignity. Marilyn shares how assisted living became a new family, how a piano medley stitched Silent Night to Polly Wolly Doodle, and why a plate of outrageously rich cookies can be medicine for the soul. She explains the power of language, preferring “dementia” as an accessible umbrella and pushing back on the paralysis that the word “Alzheimer’s” can provoke.
Marilyn also introduces Maude’s Awards, a national program granting $100,000 each year to individuals and organizations innovating in dementia care. These awards celebrate work that lifts daily life—programs that reduce anxiety, invite creativity, and center enduring personhood. Her book, Don’t Walk Away: A Care Partner’s Journey, gathers short, hopeful stories illustrated with her mother’s art, offering a practical and heartening alternative to despair-heavy narratives.
If you’re caring for someone with memory loss—or love someone who is—this conversation offers tools and a mindset shift: people living with dementia are valuable, with gifts to give and lives to live. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review with one small change you’ll try this week.
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SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
Well, hello, and welcome back to the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, Jill Grumbine,and we've got a very special
guest today.
Her name is Marilyn Reichel.
She's the author of Don't WalkAway.
And she grew up in the shadow ofAlzheimer's.
Nearly everyone in her father'sfamily, and many in her mother's
developed this disease.
And her mother, Jean, told her,When we get Alzheimer's, walk
(00:46):
away.
There's nothing you can do.
So live your life and don'tsacrifice it for us.
But instead, um, Rachel becametransformed, embracing the value
enjoy of the people who areliving with, not suffering from
dementia.
Marilyn, welcome.
Welcome to the show.
And I'm so glad to have you.
You know, it's funny before weget started.
(01:08):
My wife has been somebody whoalways somehow, I call her the
dementia whisperer.
She's been able to alwaysconnect with people that um I
don't know, I think people giveup on.
And, you know, they come out toour gardens.
We have a little nonprofitgarden and they'll come out here
and, you know, they'll leavethem to sit and stare at the
(01:29):
garden a little while.
My wife will come walk up tothem.
Next thing you know, she'shaving a conversation, and their
eyes kind of go from gray to alittle sparkly again.
And yeah, I learned a long timeago that you know you can
connect to people who don't seemlike it.
I didn't mean to overwhelm yourconversation, but I just wanted
(01:50):
to share a little something thatI do have a little um a little
life experience that's taking meto where you're coming from.
Welcome to the show today.
SPEAKER_00 (01:58):
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
And um, you know, I I'd like to um, you know, lead
with a little bit of ofinformation from a bio, but more
most importantly, I'd like tohave you come in and just tell
your story.
And and you know, it sounds likewith a family that sort of has
this sentence wrapped aroundthem that says, well, this is
(02:22):
how it's gonna be.
Um that's like, you know, yourgrandma's got diabetes and your
grandpa's got heart disease, sothis is gonna be your future.
It's like, well, it doesn'tnecessarily have to be now, does
it?
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
Well, my mother's family were Scottish Calvinists,
so everything was sort of framedby that.
Um, and so it was interestingbecause I came to care and I was
a caregiver first and became acare partner later.
Um, but I when mom told us towalk away, my four brothers and
(02:57):
sisters and I thought, okay,that makes sense.
They're in a good place, they'regonna be taken care of.
Mom and dad are together.
So when mom started to showsigns of memory loss, okay, we
sort of visited every once in awhile, but that was it.
Um and when I came back fromgraduate school, it was in the
recession, there were no jobs.
(03:19):
So my family said, okay, we'regonna pitch our resources and
we're gonna keep you afloat, andyou're gonna be the family
caregiver.
Well, this is not something Ihad planned on.
I did not want to do it, and Iwas not good at it.
Um, so I took care of mom anddad's doctor's appointments.
(03:40):
Dad was developing Parkinson's,mom developing dementia, and I
did what I could, and I was eyeswere always on the clock, always
thinking, walk away, walk away.
Um and when dad died at the ageof 89, and they'd been best
friends for 72 years.
(04:01):
Wow.
And I'd never seen mother crybecause there was a rule in the
family that when someone died,no tears.
Going back to the ScottishCalvinists.
SPEAKER_01 (04:11):
Um and right, right, yeah.
The Scottish have a wholedifferent way of looking at
things like that.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Well, Scottish Calvinists, they all believe
they're going to heaven, sothere's no reason to cry.
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
All right.
So have a big party instead,right?
SPEAKER_00 (04:25):
Yeah.
The the basic word was next.
Um, so um, and you're notsupposed to have funerals and
you're not supposed to havememorial services.
You're supposed to completelyignore it.
Um, but mom was really lonely.
So I took her to a paintingclass at the place where she
lived.
And we didn't expect anything.
(04:46):
She didn't expect anything.
And her painting was really,really interesting.
And it was good.
Um, and so I started going moreoften, fascinated by the art.
And little by little, I began toaccept, not fight, but accept
where mom and dad were.
(05:07):
Um, and then one day somethinghappened where her paintings to
my eye became sort of scratchy,like she wasn't interested
anymore.
They weren't very good.
And I thought, hmm.
So I got there early for thepainting class day.
And I got there early.
We did everything she liked todo.
(05:27):
We played Scrabble, which weplayed every day until she died.
Um, we looked at the view, wetook a walk, and then I took her
to the painting class, and thepainting completely changed.
Warm animal images and differentcolors.
And I thought, oh, I get it.
I have a role to play in this.
(05:48):
We're partners, we're partnersin this.
So, together, from that day on,together, we built a life with
late-stage dementia, mid to latestage dementia, and and that's
became her care partner.
And it is the most rewardingthing I've ever done in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
So, when you were not engaged with her, and she
kind of just showed you that bydulling out her painting, and
you caught that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:22):
Well, I always tell people to share joy because
there's so many people who thinkwho whose entire framework about
dementia is nothing but sorrowand loss.
But if that's your framework,that's all you will ever see.
And once you give them theopportunity to experience joy
and you can see them enjoyinglife, then that person you're
(06:45):
missing emerges.
I love that, and everythingchanges.
So it was, and I still didn'tknow much about caregiving, but
from then on, for the next nineyears, we were together, and I
learned something new every day,and I let go of the person who
(07:05):
used to be, and I embraced thewoman who was with me in the
moment and living with, notsuffering from.
Um, and every day I learnedsomething new, and it and I
always assumed that she wasexcited to to have my visit
because at that point I wasstill only visiting like twice,
(07:27):
twice a week.
Uh-huh.
And when I got there, I thought,well, this is interesting.
Mother's more excited about thepeople she lives with than me.
So I realized mom had a newfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
And fortunately for me, then they were willing to
accept me as a member of theirfamily.
So I had six adopted newmothers.
So it was just this wonderfulexperience.
And I started to see every day.
So it was like ultimately, itwas every single day.
It wasn't that I needed to bethere, I had to be there.
(08:03):
She was, she was everything shealways was, slightly dim,
changed, but ultimately who shewas was intact.
Very funny, very competitive.
Um and and it was just thisevery day I learned something
new.
And in the process, I became amuch happier and better person.
(08:28):
That we were raised in ahousehold where we knew Mother
loved us because that was herjob.
But the word was never spoken,ever.
Really?
Ever.
And when mom and dad first movedto independent living at Horizon
House, one day, and I lived notfar from there, and one day she
(08:49):
visited me and I was taking anap.
And she laid down next to me andshe told me she loved me.
SPEAKER_01 (08:57):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
And I remember crying.
SPEAKER_01 (08:59):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
And then she said, I guess I should have said that
more often.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
No kidding.
SPEAKER_00 (09:05):
Well, that our lives as care partners unlocked all
that love and gave it the chanceto express itself.
And so, in the process of mebeing with mom and making her
life better, she was making mylife better.
Sure.
And it was, it was just sowonderful.
(09:26):
So every day I would be therewith mom and all my adopted
moms.
And and it was just, it wasjust, I learned, I learned
something every new.
So it was so so I I took thepaintings, and mother at this
point re resists always,resisted the idea that she
painted.
SPEAKER_02 (09:47):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
When I when I would when I would tell her that the
paintings were so beautiful, shesaid, I didn't do that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
Yeah.
And I didn't do that.
And one day I said, Oh, everyoneloves your paintings, Mom.
She said, Well, I must havegotten that from your father's
side of the family.
And I think it again hadsomething to do with the the
Scottish thing.
They all they mother played thepiano every day.
Everybody was involved with thearts, but never painting.
It was considered, I don't knowwhy, but it was just like, no,
(10:19):
yeah, I didn't do that.
So, but I saved all thepaintings because I didn't save
them, she'd throw them away.
SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00 (10:26):
And when I would show the paintings to people,
their first reaction was alwaysthe same.
I had no idea.
Huh.
The art, I used to say topeople, Alzheimer's is scary,
art isn't.
So you look at the painting, andit was so interesting that it
gave you a way to deal with thedisease, but first enjoy the
(10:48):
art.
That took care of the the fear,got you all the way past the
fear, and then you could talkabout it, but not before.
So, so I started to do artexhibits and and you know, and
it was just it was just so thatwas fun.
SPEAKER_01 (11:04):
Um and then about that, like how do you get
involved?
Like, how how many paintings didshe have?
SPEAKER_00 (11:11):
Well, mom, I mom probably had I've saved uh of
all of mom's.
I probably had about 300 ofthem.
Oh, but then but the artexhibit, the art ex the first
art exhibit I did, it was calledThe Artist Within.
And it had 52 paintings by umall these incredible people
(11:33):
living with dementia, aged 60 to102.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_00 (11:37):
And it was it was it was amazing.
Um, and so that's how I gotinvolved the art.
The art's what pulled me in, butthen it was just being with mom
every single day and learningand learning how to be a care
partner.
So when I was looking at yourpast um shows with T P Snow,
(11:58):
when I was reading all hercomments, I was going, yes, I
learned that the hard way.
I didn't have anyone to talk to.
Um it was, it was, and I youknow, now that Christmas is
coming up, one of the standarddiscussions was okay, it's
Christmas, we're gonna havedinner.
Should mom come?
Because being away from assistedliving made her anxious.
(12:22):
And would it would she knowanybody?
So one one year I took her toChristmas, or might have been
Thanksgiving, and I just decidedthat okay, I'm gonna make sure
she's I'm with her first.
She she comes first.
If she starts to get anxious,we'll leave.
But she sat there at the dinnertable listening to everybody.
(12:45):
I don't think she knew whoeverybody was.
And at the end of dinner, shesat down at the piano and
started to play.
SPEAKER_02 (12:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
And everybody applauded when she was through.
And I remember thinking she satthere looking around at all
these friendly new faces.
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
So it was just for me, so remembered how to play
the piano and all the songs thatshe knew.
SPEAKER_00 (13:09):
And and well, actually, it's really
interesting because I tookvideos of this.
Um, she played since the timeshe was a little kid, but at a
certain point she forgot how toread sheet music.
Okay, and so she developed herown special medley.
And she played, and it startedwith Silent Night, and at
exactly the same moment, everysingle time it morphed into
(13:32):
Polly Wally Doodle all day.
Sorry.
And I actually in the book thatI wrote about her, it there is
actually a recording of momplaying the piano when she's 96.
SPEAKER_01 (13:46):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:48):
So it was just, and once juxtaposition of songs.
SPEAKER_00 (13:55):
She's she was great.
And then all of her, all of mymy adopted mothers.
So that one of the things I didevery uh every day when I got
there, I would ask all of theladies at the the ladies at
assisted living, I called them,I'd ask them if they wanted a
shoulder massage.
And most of them wouldn't knowwhat I meant, but they'd look at
the person next to them going,and they'd they'd want one.
(14:18):
So one day Gloria came up to meand I got the best compliment of
my entire life.
She said, Do you tuck your wingsin a handkerchief when you're
not here?
Yeah, she was, she was, she wasgreat.
It was just so I learned, Ilearned how to relax.
(14:42):
I learned how to enjoy themoment.
Because that's her mom lived.
Enjoy the moment and and hop onfor the ride.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Um, I it was just that's such a beautiful lesson,
though, because you know,especially people that are you
know successful or driven, theythey lose a lot of the joy
sometimes in just stayingfocused and accomplishing and
and all of this.
Next thing you know, you blinkand you're 20 years older, and
(15:12):
you're like, what the heck did Ijust do?
SPEAKER_00 (15:14):
Yeah, that's what I was like.
I I and with mom, I learned howto relax.
I learned how to listen, listenand ask questions.
So that one one thing she saidover and over and over and over
and over again, she said, Whatdo you think Seattle is going
to?
That's where I live, Seattle.
What do you think Seattle'sgonna be like in 50 years?
(15:37):
And sometimes I make up storiesabout it and I thought it would
be.
And then I thought after acouple of years of her asking
this question, I thought, well,obviously this means something
to her.
So I asked her, well, what doyou think it's gonna be like in
50 years?
And she said, Well, maybe we'llall fly.
(15:59):
Maybe women will start wearingskirts again.
Okay, all these, all these ideasstarted to coming out, and it
was, and I thought, what storiesI missed.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Because I wasn't taking her seriously.
So I learned to listen to her, Ilistened to ask questions, I
listened to to take herseriously, and I learned one
huge lesson, the lesson ofenduring personhood.
There's certain things that weas human beings all share, and
(16:30):
they never leave us.
And one is the need for friends,and one is the need to be of
value, one is to laugh, and oneis to love and to be loved.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Sure.
SPEAKER_00 (16:43):
These never leave us.
And I learned to start sharing,I learned to become like human
beings.
Nice.
I was raised in this really,really competitive household
where all you needed to do, themost important thing was to win.
Okay.
And with mom, assisted living, Iused to make I used I used to
(17:05):
confound people when I wouldtell them that I would go to
assisted living to relax.
SPEAKER_01 (17:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
Because it's so calm.
There are no deadlines, there'snothing there but love.
And it was, it was just, and andI would, it was just so
wonderful.
Um and mom's family, my family,when mom died at 96, um, I
(17:37):
actually went back to assistedliving the very next day to
relax.
To relax.
Yeah.
And and Ruby, who was fromAtlanta, and she looked at me
and she held up this red plasticflower.
And she thinks, I think aboutGene every time I see this.
You want to know why?
And I said, why?
And she said, because she triedto eat it.
(18:00):
And so she made me laugh.
And and I just felt safe.
And it was actually, it took aconscious will of effort to
rejoin the world because I foundit so peaceful and so serene
with them.
And I know that sounds oddbecause there are lots of people
who have a difficult, reallydifficult transition.
(18:22):
But I've always thought that ifso much of people's anger in
living with dementia comesbecause we're not really sure
how to deal with them.
The whole, you know, one of theworst questions you can ask
somebody is do you remember ordon't you remember?
(18:43):
Well, no.
And it just makes them anxiousand it makes you anxious.
SPEAKER_01 (18:46):
Right, right.
Yeah, and confused and maybefrustrated and all these things,
you know, being made aware ofsomething that you don't know
about anymore.
Right.
Why would you do that?
SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
And not listening to them, and and but but embracing
them as genuine people, and thatmy goal in life is there's so
many people, mass, the math, thevast majority of people, think
of people who live with dementiaas not worth living, as having
(19:19):
no value, as lives having novalue.
And until we believe, accept thefact that people who live with
(20:18):
dementia are valuable peoplewith lives to live and gifts to
give, we will never put effortand finances and resources into
their support, enabling them tolive with happiness and meaning
and purpose and joy, which theycan.
SPEAKER_01 (20:39):
Now you talk about two different terms, one is
Alzheimer's and one is dementia.
Yeah.
And are they are theseinterchangeable?
I know Alzheimer's is like a adiagnosable condition.
It it has sort of parameters,and dementia is kind of a broad
sweeping descriptor, but isthere anything more than that or
(21:01):
or do we use these wordsinterchangeably?
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
Because of all of this, my new my new job now is
working with a I'm now in thebiz of dementia.
All right.
Um, and so my new job now isworking with mods of words for
innovation and Alzheimer's care,which we now wish we had called
dementia care, becauseAlzheimer's just too scary,
stops the conversation.
(21:25):
So I tend to go back todementia, even though it's a
vast um I mean, we used to say,okay, all sorts of things happen
to you when you get old.
You start, you can experiencemild cognitive impairment.
You start to forget things.
Everybody does.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
And of that number, it happens early on, I tell you
that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:45):
And it of that number, some people develop
dementia.
And of that number, some peopledevelop Alzheimer's.
Well, that's too technical.
I'm just saying dementia.
That's what most of us say now.
SPEAKER_01 (21:57):
Um, all all Alzheimer's is dementia, but not
all dementia is Alzheimer's.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Correct.
SPEAKER_01 (22:03):
Yeah.
Fair enough.
So this um mods awards forinnovation in Alzheimer's care.
Why don't you tell me a littlebit about that?
SPEAKER_00 (22:13):
Well, so my my the man who founded it, his name is
Richard Ferry, and his wifedeveloped his wife because he
loved and adored his wife.
And in 2013, she started todevelop dementia.
And he didn't know what to do.
He had no idea.
And so he read and read andlooked and looked.
(22:35):
And then he finally thought,well, all right, I will start
this program where we're goingto give away$100,000 every year
for programs of excellence inAlzheimer's care.
Okay.
And so every year we and so Iget to run it, which is so
exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
And so run it every year.
SPEAKER_01 (22:55):
It gives away money.
I like that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:57):
Every year we give away$100,000 for innovations in
Alzheimer's care.
And we're now entering our sixthyear.
And um, you can go to modsawards, M-A-U-D-E-S,
modsabs.org.
And uh it's it's nice to be ableto get older and do still do
good things.
Um and so that's that's what I'mgonna apply.
SPEAKER_01 (23:21):
Like, do you guys search out um groups or or um
individuals that are are in thatworld, or do they apply, or how
does that all work out?
SPEAKER_00 (23:34):
Well, it's really it's actually a really simple it
they apply.
Um and it's not a grant, so it'sit's it's an award for something
that one has done.
And our goal, our our challengeis to reach more individuals.
So any organization, anyindividual, for-profit,
nonprofit is open.
(23:56):
Um and it's it's always lookingfor something that has made life
better and happier and moreenriched for people who are
living with dementia.
SPEAKER_01 (24:07):
Is this regional, national, international?
SPEAKER_00 (24:10):
National, national, national and territories.
All right, yeah.
One woman from a territoryschooled me on that one, and I
said, You're absolutely right.
And and so that's what I'm doingnow.
Um, although I'm still what Iwhat was difficult is during
COVID, I couldn't go back andsee all of my moms.
(24:33):
I wasn't allowed to go back.
And many of them, most of themnow have passed, um, which is
too bad um that I didn't get tosee them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
Um most difficult elements of COVID was that
people weren't able to sticktogether and they weren't
allowed to even.
SPEAKER_00 (24:53):
Right.
I wasn't allowed in, which wasreally irritating considering
that I was sort of a part of thefamily.
Right.
Um and but they were up untilthe the moment, because after
mom died, I still worked withthem for another um, you know,
was always there for anotherfour years.
And and then one woman, Evelyn,she was 104.
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_00 (25:16):
And she didn't have dementia, but she was 104 and
she needed support.
And so she became my next mom.
She was beautiful.
And so my only experience withhospice is that at 105, um,
Evelyn was in hospice, and I Iwent to see her, and I sat down
next to her and I told her Iloved her, and she opened her
(25:39):
eyes and she said, Life is sobeautiful.
And she closed her eyes.
SPEAKER_01 (25:45):
Wow.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, it was, it was actually it was what was even
better is that when she was 104,she wasn't feeling well, and she
decided that she was going todie.
And everybody in the buildingsaid, Oh, Evelyn, we're gonna
miss you so much.
And I said, Evelyn, I'm gonnamake you some cookies.
Every Christmas I would makethis uh ridiculous number of
(26:08):
incredibly rich cookies.
So I took her this plate ofreally wonderful cookies, and
she revived.
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
Ah, decided not to not to die today, right?
SPEAKER_00 (26:18):
And so from then on, all the ladies that assisted
living decided that my cookieswere the secret to a long life.
SPEAKER_01 (26:24):
I love it.
I love it.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
And every time I got there, Ruby would look at me and
she said, get in the kitchen,start cooking.
SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
Keep those cookies coming.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Tell me a little bit about don'twalk away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:38):
Oh, so I wrote this is what because of what mom
said, but it's called Don't WalkAway.
So mom said, Walk away, which Iwas prepared to do.
But once I realized that thatwas a mistake, that I walked
back in and how rewarding, howenriching it was for both of us.
So I wrote this this bookbecause I've written every
(27:01):
single thing mom and I did andsaid together.
SPEAKER_02 (27:04):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_00 (27:06):
So I wrote this book about so very short, illustrated
by all of her art.
Oh, nice these short storiesabout me and mom.
Okay, starting at the beginningand when I was in deep denial,
up until after to the day shedied.
And it was all all with herartwork.
(27:28):
And so it's it's really justit's it's a book.
I stopped reading books aboutdementia because they were so
depressing, so depressing.
This book isuncharacteristically happy and
hopeful.
And so, if my goal in life is tochange the narrative from
(27:48):
despair to hope, and this islike take a walk with me and mom
and experience the joy that wedid, and how she changed my
life, and how it was the mostrewarding, wonderful thing I've
ever done.
Plus, the art's fabulous.
Um, and so it's this sort shortbook.
(28:13):
Um, and so it's all about me andmom and um filled with lessons
and laughter.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
I love it.
I love it.
And how does somebody find thebook?
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
Well, you can get it at Amazon, but there's a trick
to Amazon because it turns outthere are a ton of books that
are called Don't Walk Away.
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
Oh, of course there are.
SPEAKER_00 (28:32):
And so you actually have to add put the whole title
in, which is Don't Walk Away, acare partner's journey.
Otherwise, you're gonna get lostin a sea of and and we're
working on actually opening upall sorts of platforms that will
get us into Art Barnes andNoble, but that hasn't been
sealed yet.
Um but it's right now it's onAmazon and it's it's it's fun.
(28:55):
It's it's yeah.
So yeah, mom and me.
Mom and me.
And mother, mother made me laughon her deathbed.
SPEAKER_01 (29:03):
Nice.
SPEAKER_00 (29:04):
That is not easy to do.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
I would say that would be an ultimate goal of
life, right?
SPEAKER_00 (29:10):
Well, they were raised by a Republican banking
family during the depression,and they hated Franklin Delano
Roosevelt.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
I'll bet.
SPEAKER_00 (29:18):
Anytime Mother heard the word or saw the name, she
would look at me and go, wedidn't like him.
At least I know.
So she's on her deathbed.
Her blood sugar has spiked to600.
She's in a coma.
And my brother and sister and Iare standing around her, we're
singing to her and we're tellingher we love her.
And I mentioned her dislike ofthe Roosevelt Hotel, and she
(29:42):
flinched.
So I knew she could hear me, andI knew she understood me.
So for the next two days, I satnext to her and held her hand
and talked.
SPEAKER_01 (29:51):
Oh, that's sweet.
I love that.
Well, Marilyn, if if you have athought that you could leave our
audience with, um, what do youthink that would be?
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
People who live with dementia are wonderful people
with gifts to give and lives tolive.
Don't be afraid, relax, askquestions, and listen.
SPEAKER_01 (30:15):
I love that.
And is there um any contactinformation with either you or
your organization or both thatyou'd like to share with us?
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Well, if you're interested in more about the
book, you can go to don't walkaway.net.
That'll take you to the booksite.
Um, and if you're interested inmods awards, which opens in
March, um, that's mods awards,M-A-U-D-E-S, modsawards.org.
SPEAKER_01 (30:44):
Fantastic.
Well, as I suspected, you were alittle um hesitant when we first
got started, a little unsure ofyourself.
And I I knew we were gonna havea great conversation.
I want to tell you, we had agreat conversation.
I love your story, I love yourwork, I love, I love the
messages that you have, andyou've been a beautiful guest
(31:06):
for this podcast.
And I would always welcome youto come back and share more.
SPEAKER_00 (31:10):
Well, thank you.
That's very nice of you to say.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
Wonderful.
Well, this has been anotherepisode of the Healthy Living
Podcast.
I'm your host, Joe Grumba.
I want to thank all of ourlisteners for making this show
possible, and we will see younext time.
Well, hello, and welcome back to the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, Jill Grumbine,and we've got a very special
guest today.
Her name is Marilyn Reichel.
She's the author of Don't WalkAway.
And she grew up in the shadow ofAlzheimer's.
Nearly everyone in her father'sfamily, and many in her mother's
developed this disease.
And her mother, Jean, told her,When we get Alzheimer's, walk
(00:46):
away.
There's nothing you can do.
So live your life and don'tsacrifice it for us.
But instead, um, Rachel becametransformed, embracing the value
enjoy of the people who areliving with, not suffering from
dementia.
Marilyn, welcome.
Welcome to the show.
And I'm so glad to have you.
You know, it's funny before weget started.
(01:08):
My wife has been somebody whoalways somehow, I call her the
dementia whisperer.
She's been able to alwaysconnect with people that um I
don't know, I think people giveup on.
And, you know, they come out toour gardens.
We have a little nonprofitgarden and they'll come out here
and, you know, they'll leavethem to sit and stare at the
(01:29):
garden a little while.
My wife will come walk up tothem.
Next thing you know, she'shaving a conversation, and their
eyes kind of go from gray to alittle sparkly again.
And yeah, I learned a long timeago that you know you can
connect to people who don't seemlike it.
I didn't mean to overwhelm yourconversation, but I just wanted
(01:50):
to share a little something thatI do have a little um a little
life experience that's taking meto where you're coming from.
Welcome to the show today.
SPEAKER_00 (01:58):
Well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
It's a pleasure to be here.
SPEAKER_01 (02:02):
And um, you know, I I'd like to um, you know, lead
with a little bit of ofinformation from a bio, but more
most importantly, I'd like tohave you come in and just tell
your story.
And and you know, it sounds likewith a family that sort of has
this sentence wrapped aroundthem that says, well, this is
(02:22):
how it's gonna be.
Um that's like, you know, yourgrandma's got diabetes and your
grandpa's got heart disease, sothis is gonna be your future.
It's like, well, it doesn'tnecessarily have to be now, does
it?
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
Well, my mother's family were Scottish Calvinists,
so everything was sort of framedby that.
Um, and so it was interestingbecause I came to care and I was
a caregiver first and became acare partner later.
Um, but I when mom told us towalk away, my four brothers and
(02:57):
sisters and I thought, okay,that makes sense.
They're in a good place, they'regonna be taken care of.
Mom and dad are together.
So when mom started to showsigns of memory loss, okay, we
sort of visited every once in awhile, but that was it.
Um and when I came back fromgraduate school, it was in the
recession, there were no jobs.
(03:19):
So my family said, okay, we'regonna pitch our resources and
we're gonna keep you afloat, andyou're gonna be the family
caregiver.
Well, this is not something Ihad planned on.
I did not want to do it, and Iwas not good at it.
Um, so I took care of mom anddad's doctor's appointments.
(03:40):
Dad was developing Parkinson's,mom developing dementia, and I
did what I could, and I was eyeswere always on the clock, always
thinking, walk away, walk away.
Um and when dad died at the ageof 89, and they'd been best
friends for 72 years.
(04:01):
Wow.
And I'd never seen mother crybecause there was a rule in the
family that when someone died,no tears.
Going back to the ScottishCalvinists.
SPEAKER_01 (04:11):
Um and right, right, yeah.
The Scottish have a wholedifferent way of looking at
things like that.
SPEAKER_00 (04:16):
Well, Scottish Calvinists, they all believe
they're going to heaven, sothere's no reason to cry.
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
All right.
So have a big party instead,right?
SPEAKER_00 (04:25):
Yeah.
The the basic word was next.
Um, so um, and you're notsupposed to have funerals and
you're not supposed to havememorial services.
You're supposed to completelyignore it.
Um, but mom was really lonely.
So I took her to a paintingclass at the place where she
lived.
And we didn't expect anything.
(04:46):
She didn't expect anything.
And her painting was really,really interesting.
And it was good.
Um, and so I started going moreoften, fascinated by the art.
And little by little, I began toaccept, not fight, but accept
where mom and dad were.
(05:07):
Um, and then one day somethinghappened where her paintings to
my eye became sort of scratchy,like she wasn't interested
anymore.
They weren't very good.
And I thought, hmm.
So I got there early for thepainting class day.
And I got there early.
We did everything she liked todo.
(05:27):
We played Scrabble, which weplayed every day until she died.
Um, we looked at the view, wetook a walk, and then I took her
to the painting class, and thepainting completely changed.
Warm animal images and differentcolors.
And I thought, oh, I get it.
I have a role to play in this.
(05:48):
We're partners, we're partnersin this.
So, together, from that day on,together, we built a life with
late-stage dementia, mid to latestage dementia, and and that's
became her care partner.
And it is the most rewardingthing I've ever done in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (06:08):
So, when you were not engaged with her, and she
kind of just showed you that bydulling out her painting, and
you caught that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:22):
Well, I always tell people to share joy because
there's so many people who thinkwho whose entire framework about
dementia is nothing but sorrowand loss.
But if that's your framework,that's all you will ever see.
And once you give them theopportunity to experience joy
and you can see them enjoyinglife, then that person you're
(06:45):
missing emerges.
I love that, and everythingchanges.
So it was, and I still didn'tknow much about caregiving, but
from then on, for the next nineyears, we were together, and I
learned something new every day,and I let go of the person who
(07:05):
used to be, and I embraced thewoman who was with me in the
moment and living with, notsuffering from.
Um, and every day I learnedsomething new, and it and I
always assumed that she wasexcited to to have my visit
because at that point I wasstill only visiting like twice,
(07:27):
twice a week.
Uh-huh.
And when I got there, I thought,well, this is interesting.
Mother's more excited about thepeople she lives with than me.
So I realized mom had a newfamily.
SPEAKER_01 (07:42):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
And fortunately for me, then they were willing to
accept me as a member of theirfamily.
So I had six adopted newmothers.
So it was just this wonderfulexperience.
And I started to see every day.
So it was like ultimately, itwas every single day.
It wasn't that I needed to bethere, I had to be there.
(08:03):
She was, she was everything shealways was, slightly dim,
changed, but ultimately who shewas was intact.
Very funny, very competitive.
Um and and it was just thisevery day I learned something
new.
And in the process, I became amuch happier and better person.
(08:28):
That we were raised in ahousehold where we knew Mother
loved us because that was herjob.
But the word was never spoken,ever.
Really?
Ever.
And when mom and dad first movedto independent living at Horizon
House, one day, and I lived notfar from there, and one day she
(08:49):
visited me and I was taking anap.
And she laid down next to me andshe told me she loved me.
SPEAKER_01 (08:57):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
And I remember crying.
SPEAKER_01 (08:59):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
And then she said, I guess I should have said that
more often.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
No kidding.
SPEAKER_00 (09:05):
Well, that our lives as care partners unlocked all
that love and gave it the chanceto express itself.
And so, in the process of mebeing with mom and making her
life better, she was making mylife better.
Sure.
And it was, it was just sowonderful.
(09:26):
So every day I would be therewith mom and all my adopted
moms.
And and it was just, it wasjust, I learned, I learned
something every new.
So it was so so I I took thepaintings, and mother at this
point re resists always,resisted the idea that she
painted.
SPEAKER_02 (09:47):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (09:48):
When I when I would when I would tell her that the
paintings were so beautiful, shesaid, I didn't do that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (09:54):
Yeah.
And I didn't do that.
And one day I said, Oh, everyoneloves your paintings, Mom.
She said, Well, I must havegotten that from your father's
side of the family.
And I think it again hadsomething to do with the the
Scottish thing.
They all they mother played thepiano every day.
Everybody was involved with thearts, but never painting.
It was considered, I don't knowwhy, but it was just like, no,
(10:19):
yeah, I didn't do that.
So, but I saved all thepaintings because I didn't save
them, she'd throw them away.
SPEAKER_01 (10:25):
Oh, really?
SPEAKER_00 (10:26):
And when I would show the paintings to people,
their first reaction was alwaysthe same.
I had no idea.
Huh.
The art, I used to say topeople, Alzheimer's is scary,
art isn't.
So you look at the painting, andit was so interesting that it
gave you a way to deal with thedisease, but first enjoy the
(10:48):
art.
That took care of the the fear,got you all the way past the
fear, and then you could talkabout it, but not before.
So, so I started to do artexhibits and and you know, and
it was just it was just so thatwas fun.
SPEAKER_01 (11:04):
Um and then about that, like how do you get
involved?
Like, how how many paintings didshe have?
SPEAKER_00 (11:11):
Well, mom, I mom probably had I've saved uh of
all of mom's.
I probably had about 300 ofthem.
Oh, but then but the artexhibit, the art ex the first
art exhibit I did, it was calledThe Artist Within.
And it had 52 paintings by umall these incredible people
(11:33):
living with dementia, aged 60 to102.
SPEAKER_01 (11:36):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_00 (11:37):
And it was it was it was amazing.
Um, and so that's how I gotinvolved the art.
The art's what pulled me in, butthen it was just being with mom
every single day and learningand learning how to be a care
partner.
So when I was looking at yourpast um shows with T P Snow,
(11:58):
when I was reading all hercomments, I was going, yes, I
learned that the hard way.
I didn't have anyone to talk to.
Um it was, it was, and I youknow, now that Christmas is
coming up, one of the standarddiscussions was okay, it's
Christmas, we're gonna havedinner.
Should mom come?
Because being away from assistedliving made her anxious.
(12:22):
And would it would she knowanybody?
So one one year I took her toChristmas, or might have been
Thanksgiving, and I just decidedthat okay, I'm gonna make sure
she's I'm with her first.
She she comes first.
If she starts to get anxious,we'll leave.
But she sat there at the dinnertable listening to everybody.
(12:45):
I don't think she knew whoeverybody was.
And at the end of dinner, shesat down at the piano and
started to play.
SPEAKER_02 (12:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (12:53):
And everybody applauded when she was through.
And I remember thinking she satthere looking around at all
these friendly new faces.
SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
So it was just for me, so remembered how to play
the piano and all the songs thatshe knew.
SPEAKER_00 (13:09):
And and well, actually, it's really
interesting because I tookvideos of this.
Um, she played since the timeshe was a little kid, but at a
certain point she forgot how toread sheet music.
Okay, and so she developed herown special medley.
And she played, and it startedwith Silent Night, and at
exactly the same moment, everysingle time it morphed into
(13:32):
Polly Wally Doodle all day.
Sorry.
And I actually in the book thatI wrote about her, it there is
actually a recording of momplaying the piano when she's 96.
SPEAKER_01 (13:46):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (13:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:48):
So it was just, and once juxtaposition of songs.
SPEAKER_00 (13:55):
She's she was great.
And then all of her, all of mymy adopted mothers.
So that one of the things I didevery uh every day when I got
there, I would ask all of theladies at the the ladies at
assisted living, I called them,I'd ask them if they wanted a
shoulder massage.
And most of them wouldn't knowwhat I meant, but they'd look at
the person next to them going,and they'd they'd want one.
(14:18):
So one day Gloria came up to meand I got the best compliment of
my entire life.
She said, Do you tuck your wingsin a handkerchief when you're
not here?
Yeah, she was, she was, she wasgreat.
It was just so I learned, Ilearned how to relax.
(14:42):
I learned how to enjoy themoment.
Because that's her mom lived.
Enjoy the moment and and hop onfor the ride.
SPEAKER_01 (14:51):
Um, I it was just that's such a beautiful lesson,
though, because you know,especially people that are you
know successful or driven, theythey lose a lot of the joy
sometimes in just stayingfocused and accomplishing and
and all of this.
Next thing you know, you blinkand you're 20 years older, and
(15:12):
you're like, what the heck did Ijust do?
SPEAKER_00 (15:14):
Yeah, that's what I was like.
I I and with mom, I learned howto relax.
I learned how to listen, listenand ask questions.
So that one one thing she saidover and over and over and over
and over again, she said, Whatdo you think Seattle is going
to?
That's where I live, Seattle.
What do you think Seattle'sgonna be like in 50 years?
(15:37):
And sometimes I make up storiesabout it and I thought it would
be.
And then I thought after acouple of years of her asking
this question, I thought, well,obviously this means something
to her.
So I asked her, well, what doyou think it's gonna be like in
50 years?
And she said, Well, maybe we'llall fly.
(15:59):
Maybe women will start wearingskirts again.
Okay, all these, all these ideasstarted to coming out, and it
was, and I thought, what storiesI missed.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Because I wasn't taking her seriously.
So I learned to listen to her, Ilistened to ask questions, I
listened to to take herseriously, and I learned one
huge lesson, the lesson ofenduring personhood.
There's certain things that weas human beings all share, and
(16:30):
they never leave us.
And one is the need for friends,and one is the need to be of
value, one is to laugh, and oneis to love and to be loved.
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Sure.
SPEAKER_00 (16:43):
These never leave us.
And I learned to start sharing,I learned to become like human
beings.
Nice.
I was raised in this really,really competitive household
where all you needed to do, themost important thing was to win.
Okay.
And with mom, assisted living, Iused to make I used I used to
(17:05):
confound people when I wouldtell them that I would go to
assisted living to relax.
SPEAKER_01 (17:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
Because it's so calm.
There are no deadlines, there'snothing there but love.
And it was, it was just, and andI would, it was just so
wonderful.
Um and mom's family, my family,when mom died at 96, um, I
(17:37):
actually went back to assistedliving the very next day to
relax.
To relax.
Yeah.
And and Ruby, who was fromAtlanta, and she looked at me
and she held up this red plasticflower.
And she thinks, I think aboutGene every time I see this.
You want to know why?
And I said, why?
And she said, because she triedto eat it.
(18:00):
And so she made me laugh.
And and I just felt safe.
And it was actually, it took aconscious will of effort to
rejoin the world because I foundit so peaceful and so serene
with them.
And I know that sounds oddbecause there are lots of people
who have a difficult, reallydifficult transition.
(18:22):
But I've always thought that ifso much of people's anger in
living with dementia comesbecause we're not really sure
how to deal with them.
The whole, you know, one of theworst questions you can ask
somebody is do you remember ordon't you remember?
(18:43):
Well, no.
And it just makes them anxiousand it makes you anxious.
SPEAKER_01 (18:46):
Right, right.
Yeah, and confused and maybefrustrated and all these things,
you know, being made aware ofsomething that you don't know
about anymore.
Right.
Why would you do that?
SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
And not listening to them, and and but but embracing
them as genuine people, and thatmy goal in life is there's so
many people, mass, the math, thevast majority of people, think
of people who live with dementiaas not worth living, as having
(19:19):
no value, as lives having novalue.
And until we believe, accept thefact that people who live with
(20:18):
dementia are valuable peoplewith lives to live and gifts to
give, we will never put effortand finances and resources into
their support, enabling them tolive with happiness and meaning
and purpose and joy, which theycan.
SPEAKER_01 (20:39):
Now you talk about two different terms, one is
Alzheimer's and one is dementia.
Yeah.
And are they are theseinterchangeable?
I know Alzheimer's is like a adiagnosable condition.
It it has sort of parameters,and dementia is kind of a broad
sweeping descriptor, but isthere anything more than that or
(21:01):
or do we use these wordsinterchangeably?
SPEAKER_00 (21:05):
Because of all of this, my new my new job now is
working with a I'm now in thebiz of dementia.
All right.
Um, and so my new job now isworking with mods of words for
innovation and Alzheimer's care,which we now wish we had called
dementia care, becauseAlzheimer's just too scary,
stops the conversation.
(21:25):
So I tend to go back todementia, even though it's a
vast um I mean, we used to say,okay, all sorts of things happen
to you when you get old.
You start, you can experiencemild cognitive impairment.
You start to forget things.
Everybody does.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
And of that number, it happens early on, I tell you
that.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:45):
And it of that number, some people develop
dementia.
And of that number, some peopledevelop Alzheimer's.
Well, that's too technical.
I'm just saying dementia.
That's what most of us say now.
SPEAKER_01 (21:57):
Um, all all Alzheimer's is dementia, but not
all dementia is Alzheimer's.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Correct.
SPEAKER_01 (22:03):
Yeah.
Fair enough.
So this um mods awards forinnovation in Alzheimer's care.
Why don't you tell me a littlebit about that?
SPEAKER_00 (22:13):
Well, so my my the man who founded it, his name is
Richard Ferry, and his wifedeveloped his wife because he
loved and adored his wife.
And in 2013, she started todevelop dementia.
And he didn't know what to do.
He had no idea.
And so he read and read andlooked and looked.
(22:35):
And then he finally thought,well, all right, I will start
this program where we're goingto give away$100,000 every year
for programs of excellence inAlzheimer's care.
Okay.
And so every year we and so Iget to run it, which is so
exciting.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
And so run it every year.
SPEAKER_01 (22:55):
It gives away money.
I like that.
SPEAKER_00 (22:57):
Every year we give away$100,000 for innovations in
Alzheimer's care.
And we're now entering our sixthyear.
And um, you can go to modsawards, M-A-U-D-E-S,
modsabs.org.
And uh it's it's nice to be ableto get older and do still do
good things.
Um and so that's that's what I'mgonna apply.
SPEAKER_01 (23:21):
Like, do you guys search out um groups or or um
individuals that are are in thatworld, or do they apply, or how
does that all work out?
SPEAKER_00 (23:34):
Well, it's really it's actually a really simple it
they apply.
Um and it's not a grant, so it'sit's it's an award for something
that one has done.
And our goal, our our challengeis to reach more individuals.
So any organization, anyindividual, for-profit,
nonprofit is open.
(23:56):
Um and it's it's always lookingfor something that has made life
better and happier and moreenriched for people who are
living with dementia.
SPEAKER_01 (24:07):
Is this regional, national, international?
SPEAKER_00 (24:10):
National, national, national and territories.
All right, yeah.
One woman from a territoryschooled me on that one, and I
said, You're absolutely right.
And and so that's what I'm doingnow.
Um, although I'm still what Iwhat was difficult is during
COVID, I couldn't go back andsee all of my moms.
(24:33):
I wasn't allowed to go back.
And many of them, most of themnow have passed, um, which is
too bad um that I didn't get tosee them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
Um most difficult elements of COVID was that
people weren't able to sticktogether and they weren't
allowed to even.
SPEAKER_00 (24:53):
Right.
I wasn't allowed in, which wasreally irritating considering
that I was sort of a part of thefamily.
Right.
Um and but they were up untilthe the moment, because after
mom died, I still worked withthem for another um, you know,
was always there for anotherfour years.
And and then one woman, Evelyn,she was 104.
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
Whoa.
SPEAKER_00 (25:16):
And she didn't have dementia, but she was 104 and
she needed support.
And so she became my next mom.
She was beautiful.
And so my only experience withhospice is that at 105, um,
Evelyn was in hospice, and I Iwent to see her, and I sat down
next to her and I told her Iloved her, and she opened her
(25:39):
eyes and she said, Life is sobeautiful.
And she closed her eyes.
SPEAKER_01 (25:45):
Wow.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, it was, it was actually it was what was even
better is that when she was 104,she wasn't feeling well, and she
decided that she was going todie.
And everybody in the buildingsaid, Oh, Evelyn, we're gonna
miss you so much.
And I said, Evelyn, I'm gonnamake you some cookies.
Every Christmas I would makethis uh ridiculous number of
(26:08):
incredibly rich cookies.
So I took her this plate ofreally wonderful cookies, and
she revived.
SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
Ah, decided not to not to die today, right?
SPEAKER_00 (26:18):
And so from then on, all the ladies that assisted
living decided that my cookieswere the secret to a long life.
SPEAKER_01 (26:24):
I love it.
I love it.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
And every time I got there, Ruby would look at me and
she said, get in the kitchen,start cooking.
SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
Keep those cookies coming.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Tell me a little bit about don'twalk away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:38):
Oh, so I wrote this is what because of what mom
said, but it's called Don't WalkAway.
So mom said, Walk away, which Iwas prepared to do.
But once I realized that thatwas a mistake, that I walked
back in and how rewarding, howenriching it was for both of us.
So I wrote this this bookbecause I've written every
(27:01):
single thing mom and I did andsaid together.
SPEAKER_02 (27:04):
Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_00 (27:06):
So I wrote this book about so very short, illustrated
by all of her art.
Oh, nice these short storiesabout me and mom.
Okay, starting at the beginningand when I was in deep denial,
up until after to the day shedied.
And it was all all with herartwork.
(27:28):
And so it's it's really justit's it's a book.
I stopped reading books aboutdementia because they were so
depressing, so depressing.
This book isuncharacteristically happy and
hopeful.
And so, if my goal in life is tochange the narrative from
(27:48):
despair to hope, and this islike take a walk with me and mom
and experience the joy that wedid, and how she changed my
life, and how it was the mostrewarding, wonderful thing I've
ever done.
Plus, the art's fabulous.
Um, and so it's this sort shortbook.
(28:13):
Um, and so it's all about me andmom and um filled with lessons
and laughter.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
I love it.
I love it.
And how does somebody find thebook?
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
Well, you can get it at Amazon, but there's a trick
to Amazon because it turns outthere are a ton of books that
are called Don't Walk Away.
SPEAKER_01 (28:30):
Oh, of course there are.
SPEAKER_00 (28:32):
And so you actually have to add put the whole title
in, which is Don't Walk Away, acare partner's journey.
Otherwise, you're gonna get lostin a sea of and and we're
working on actually opening upall sorts of platforms that will
get us into Art Barnes andNoble, but that hasn't been
sealed yet.
Um but it's right now it's onAmazon and it's it's it's fun.
(28:55):
It's it's yeah.
So yeah, mom and me.
Mom and me.
And mother, mother made me laughon her deathbed.
SPEAKER_01 (29:03):
Nice.
SPEAKER_00 (29:04):
That is not easy to do.
SPEAKER_01 (29:06):
I would say that would be an ultimate goal of
life, right?
SPEAKER_00 (29:10):
Well, they were raised by a Republican banking
family during the depression,and they hated Franklin Delano
Roosevelt.
SPEAKER_01 (29:17):
I'll bet.
SPEAKER_00 (29:18):
Anytime Mother heard the word or saw the name, she
would look at me and go, wedidn't like him.
At least I know.
So she's on her deathbed.
Her blood sugar has spiked to600.
She's in a coma.
And my brother and sister and Iare standing around her, we're
singing to her and we're tellingher we love her.
And I mentioned her dislike ofthe Roosevelt Hotel, and she
(29:42):
flinched.
So I knew she could hear me, andI knew she understood me.
So for the next two days, I satnext to her and held her hand
and talked.
SPEAKER_01 (29:51):
Oh, that's sweet.
I love that.
Well, Marilyn, if if you have athought that you could leave our
audience with, um, what do youthink that would be?
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
People who live with dementia are wonderful people
with gifts to give and lives tolive.
Don't be afraid, relax, askquestions, and listen.
SPEAKER_01 (30:15):
I love that.
And is there um any contactinformation with either you or
your organization or both thatyou'd like to share with us?
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Well, if you're interested in more about the
book, you can go to don't walkaway.net.
That'll take you to the booksite.
Um, and if you're interested inmods awards, which opens in
March, um, that's mods awards,M-A-U-D-E-S, modsawards.org.
SPEAKER_01 (30:44):
Fantastic.
Well, as I suspected, you were alittle um hesitant when we first
got started, a little unsure ofyourself.
And I I knew we were gonna havea great conversation.
I want to tell you, we had agreat conversation.
I love your story, I love yourwork, I love, I love the
messages that you have, andyou've been a beautiful guest
(31:06):
for this podcast.
And I would always welcome youto come back and share more.
SPEAKER_00 (31:10):
Well, thank you.
That's very nice of you to say.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:14):
Wonderful.
Well, this has been anotherepisode of the Healthy Living
Podcast.
I'm your host, Joe Grumba.
I want to thank all of ourlisteners for making this show
possible, and we will see younext time.
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