August 19, 2025 • 36 mins
What happens when a high-achieving professional realizes his success at work has come at the cost of everything else that matters? Mitchell Osmond's powerful story begins at rock bottom—60 pounds overweight, $100,000 in debt, and a marriage crumbling around him.
Two pivotal moments changed everything: a fight that brought his marriage to the brink of divorce, and a funeral where he heard the minister ask a question that shook him to his core: "Are you living a life worthy of imitation?" Mitchell realized with painful clarity that nobody would want to imitate his life. That day, he made a decision to start writing new chapters to his story.
Within 18 months, Mitchell completely transformed his life by surrounding himself with men who were already living the life he wanted to create. He lost the weight, paid off the debt, rebuilt his marriage, and discovered a new mission—helping other high-performing men bridge the gap between career success and personal fulfillment through his Dad Nation movement.
During this revealing conversation, Mitchell shares the frameworks that drive his coaching practice, including the "Iron Five" concept of strategic mentorship and the powerful exercise of writing your own eulogy from your loved ones' perspective. He explains why 95% of our decisions are made on autopilot and how breaking that pattern requires both clarity about what we truly want and accountability from others who will hold us to that standard.
Whether you're struggling with work-life balance, searching for greater meaning, or simply wanting to leave a legacy you can be proud of, Mitchell's journey offers both inspiration and practical steps toward transformation. As he reminds us, there's a 100% chance we'll all draw our last breath someday—the only question is whether those final moments will be filled with regret or gratitude.
Ready to write new chapters to your own story? Download Mitchell's free resource, "The Connection Code" with 50 questions to spark meaningful conversations with your partner at dadnationco.com/code.
- Website: https://www.dadnationco.com/
- Podcast: https://www.dadnationco.com/podcast
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Well, hello and welcome back to the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, joe Grumbine,and today we have with us a very
special guest.
His name is Mitchell Osmond andhe's a trusted advisor, a
leadership consultant, executivecoach and host of the Dad
Nation Podcast.
He's got over 15 years insenior leadership and he helps
(00:24):
high-performing men achievesuccess where it matters most at
home in their health, in theirhappiness and while enhancing
their career success.
Mitchell has guided executives,entrepreneurs and driven
professionals to bridge the gapbetween career achievement and
personal fulfillment, and thisfits just right on in with
(00:45):
Healthy Living Mitchell, welcometo the show.
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
doing today.
I'm doing well, Joe.
Thank you so much for having meon the show.
I'm looking forward to havingthis conversation, brother.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Likewise.
Likewise, we were talking alittle bit before, and just
recently we had at my non-profitGardens of Hope, a men's circle
, and that was the first time wedid something like that.
We've worked with women'sgroups before, all sorts of
different groups, but I reallyfeel that men working on
themselves is an important,needed element in humanity right
(01:19):
now.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
And that's actually exactly whyI started the Danation Movement
as well, because I noticed, Imean, I was a byproduct of that
struggling.
You know, I was 60 poundsoverweight and we were 100 grand
in debt.
My marriage was on the verge ofdivorce.
I mean, it was a very difficulttime and I suffered in silence
(01:41):
for a long time.
That's what we do.
I suffered in silence for a longtime before I had the courage
to reach out, and when I did,and when I got myself around a
community of men, everythingchanged, and so I'm a byproduct
of that work, and so I couldn'tagree more with you, joe.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I love it.
So you know I lost about 50pounds about eight years ago and
you know I found myself in andout of financial problems and
marital problems and you knowI've always sort of found my way
through it.
But I've always reached out andstrove to build a community.
And that's really what thispodcast is all about is building
(02:19):
a diverse community.
And you know, with the elementsof all these different groups
intact, that we can, you know,branch off and work on ourselves
.
So I'm really excited that youwent down this one road, because
you know it is.
You take on too many things andyou can get so much done, but
when you keep your focus morenarrow, you can really move
mountains.
(02:39):
So tell me where you know howyou went from there.
It must have been a momentwhere you know you realized,
holy shit, I'm in a bad placeand, like you say, we suffer in
silence.
It's our, it's what we'retaught to do.
You know, just sit there andtake it and at one point you're
(02:59):
like that's not working.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, yeah, and I think it's a great starting
point for the conversation andfor me.
You know that, that turningpoint, you know there were two
for me actually, the first onewas a fight and so, and the
second one was a funeral.
Okay, so, the first one beingthe fight, I want you to picture
with me.
You know, I was sitting on thecouch with my wife and we had
been married for three yearsunder this point and we had a
(03:24):
huge fight.
It started off fighting aboutmoney, and then it was something
else, about my me not beingpresent and it spiraled.
And, to give you some context,we've been married only married
for three years, but it was avery difficult season.
Um, we struggled through thewhole three years.
But this fight, this day, wasdifferent and I knew deep down
(03:44):
that if I didn't changesomething, this was all going to
be over.
You know, uh, we had, we'dalways said we'd never use the D
word, you know, divorce in ourmarriage, and that day is the
first day we did Wow and to, to.
To give you some context, youknow, coming leading up to that
day, I had recently been let goin a senior leadership position.
My career was everything to meJoe.
(04:05):
It was my calling, it was myidentity.
I mean, it was all wrapped intothat.
So I spiraled into depression.
I was 60 pounds overweight,like I said, 100 grand in debt.
I was medicating with drugs andalcohol every day to try and
just cope and now I was gettingdangerously close to divorce.
I was checked out, stressed out, burned out and I didn't quite
(04:25):
understand Joe, like I was, Iwas.
I was so powerful at work and Iwas powerless at home.
Like I could go to work, Icould build organizations, I
could lead teams, lead boardmeetings.
But I came home and I didn'teven know how to talk to my own
wife.
And there was this tension thatI was facing, you know, and, and
at times it felt like, uh,there was this tension that I
(04:46):
was facing, and at times it feltlike there was like this I was
two different people.
There was this duality that Iwas wrestling with, and I knew
where I had come from.
I knew that I wanted somethingdifferent, but I just didn't
know how to make the change.
And I mean, where I came fromwas I mean, I was raised in a
dysfunctional home, you know, Ihad a non-existent relationship
with my father.
Alcohol, drugs, crime, abusewere just littered throughout my
(05:09):
family, and so the problem waswas that I was letting these
unhealed wounds bleed into mymarriage and I began to torpedo
my life as a result of thisunhealed trauma.
And one of my favorite quotesis if you don't transform your
pain, you will transmit it, andthat's what I was doing.
(05:30):
I was transmitting my pain tothose that I love the most, and
when I would yell, I could hearmy father's voice, his words,
and so that was the first point,that big fight.
And then, one week later, wasthe second turning point, and
this was the funeral part of thestory.
(05:51):
Now I was invited to sing at thefuneral of this very wealthy,
philanthropic man and I'll neverforget.
You know, after talking aboutall of his accomplishments and
all he did in his life, you know, I was sitting side stage and I
was getting ready to sing thelast song and I heard the
minister ask the congregation.
He said Are you living a lifeworthy of imitation?
(06:15):
If you were to die tomorrow,would you be proud of the legacy
that you left?
And, joe, for me, I was tryingto get myself together and sing
the last song and I could barelychoke out the lyrics because I
was.
All I could think was, if thiswere my funeral, nobody would be
saying they wanted to imitatemy life.
Nobody would be saying I wantto have, I want to have a
(06:37):
marriage like his, or heinspired me to get into shape,
or he inspired me how to stewardmy finances.
Well, they would probably sayhe struggled and then it was
over and it was a sad reality.
And that's the thing aboutfunerals is people tell stories
because that's all that theyhave left.
And that day, joe, I wasdetermined.
(06:58):
I said by the time I leave thischurch, I'm going to start
writing new chapters to my story.
I'm going to start writing newchapters to my story.
This ends with me, and so Iimmediately, you know, within a,
within a week or so, I startedreaching out to men in my life.
Uh, and they surrounded me, menwho, who my ceiling was their
floor, you understand, peoplewho were living where I wanted
(07:21):
to go.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
People who would would not only show me what's
possible, but they would hold meto the standard that I said I
wanted for my family.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You're blessed to have those people in your circle
, though.
That's incredible, yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And so within 18 months, a year and a half, I
paid off the a hundred grandgrand of debt, completely
restored our marriage, paid offthe or uh lost the 60 pounds.
It was totally clear, focusedand free of distractions,
alcohol, you know all that stuff.
And then what happened?
I mean, those were my twoturning points.
But then I started helpingfriends around me you know guys
(08:00):
who who were also struggling onmarriage or in debt or had a
hard time losing, uh losing, youknow, you name it Right.
And then one of my mentorschallenged me.
He said, man, if you reallywant to have impact, you want to
live a legacy or live a lifeworthy of imitation.
Start a podcast and startsharing your story with the
world.
Absolutely Exactly.
And so, just out of obedience,I did that and within 18 months,
(08:23):
you know, the Dad Nationpodcast was globally rated top
10% across the world.
And, yeah, today I have over33,000 listeners.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And then they all started.
Some of the people startedchiming in and being like, hey,
would you help, would you coach,would you teach me what you did
?
And I'd already been doing itwith all my friends for free
along the way.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, and that's our progression.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Exactly so.
Then I launched the coachingpractice, Dad Nation, the
coalition, and so now I just docoaching and executive advising
to high-performing men who wantto reclaim their home, their
health and their happiness.
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
What a beautiful story.
Yeah, that's what got me here,man.
So what's the timeline on this?
When was it that you were atthat funeral?
How long ago?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
This would have been about eight years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, all right, so you're about six and a half
years into this journey.
That's fantastic.
Wow, all I can say is I'm proudof you, man.
Thank you, what a great story.
You clearly have a legacy thatyou're leaving behind now and
(09:31):
you're so young you're stilljust getting started.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, just warming up .
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I love it, I love it.
So tell me a little bit aboutyour family.
This is a dad podcast, so I'massuming you have some children.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah for sure.
So that's interesting becausebefore I was a biological father
, I held many father kind ofroles and I know you'll probably
find this interesting.
But because of the fact that Ihad said I came from this
dysfunctional family, part ofthat was my older sister.
I was the baby boy of two oldersisters.
One of them ended up marryingan alcoholic and another
(10:07):
alcoholic, and so on and soforth.
She had three daughters and allthree of them struggled with
drug addiction, suicide ideation, attempts, alcoholism, things
like that, anxiety, and so atdifferent points me and my wife
took in three of my nieces tohelp them recover from their
(10:28):
addiction or from their anxiety.
I've picked up one of my niecesseveral times from a mental
health institution where she hadattempted suicide, and so
before we even became parents,we had years of experience
walking alongside these teenagegirls and showing them what love
looked like, showing them howto respect themselves, showing
(10:50):
them what a healthy familylooked like, and before I even
became a dad, and so I'mactually a fairly new father.
Like, we have one son.
He's 20 months old, he's almosttwo years old.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Oh wow, You're just getting started.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, and so I've been taking everything that I've
learned along the way and justbeen pouring into him and at the
end of the day, man, that's whyI started this.
It was kind of for selfishreasons, because I said to
myself, if I have any shot atbeing a great husband and a
great father one day, then Ineed to surround myself with
(11:24):
other men who were doing thesame thing, who were going after
the same goals, and so the bestway to learn something is to
teach it.
And so that's kind of how I gotinto this space, because I want
so badly to be the best husbandI can be, to be the best husband
I can be, to be the best fatherI can be and to leave a legacy
that's worthy of imitation, sothat my son one day, when he
(11:44):
grows up and should I have adaughter you know she will grow
up to I'm going to do my best tomodel greatness for them,
because we know statisticallythat, for example, if I have a
daughter one day, she's going togrow up to crave the attention
of a man that looks just like me.
And so my best chance at, youknow, if I want my daughter to
bring home a great man.
One day I need to model thatgreatness for her so that she
(12:07):
can recognize it in someone elsewhen she sees it.
So that's my mission, man, andthat's why I'm here.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I love it, wow.
So one of the things thatyou've brought up, you've got
some amazing points.
I clearly walk in your walk.
You understand, you know we, aswe go through that.
I'm a serial entrepreneur, soI've been paving my own way,
building things and crashing andburning, picking up.
You know it's a it's adifferent, different route.
(12:33):
I've done a little corporatestuff but for the most part I'm
just, you know, a figure it outmyself guy.
But along the way my goal hasalways been to be my best me and
to you know, to be the bestfather, now the best grandfather
and, you know, husband and allof this.
I got 30 years under the hoodwith my wife and you know we've
(12:54):
got some great times and somenot so great times.
You know, when you say thosevows for better or for worse,
well, that's life and I thinkthat that's part of you know.
The part they don't tell youabout with any of this stuff is
you're going to have hills andvalleys, no matter who you are,
no matter what you do, whetheryou're rich or poor or sick or
well.
All those things, those vowsactually have meaning and just
(13:17):
like life.
But there are things that, likeyou talked about in your
community.
Like I can remember my momtelling me, you know, about the
kids, my friends.
I was hanging around, you know,and she always tried to make
sure I had, you know, goodpeople around me and that's so
important.
You know, we think that we'reautonomous and we think that we
(13:38):
think for ourselves and all thisand we do.
We make our own choices, butwe're so influenced by the
people around us and when youfind somebody that's depressed
or lost or chaotic ordestructive or whatever the
issue is drugs, alcohol,whatever that stuff bleeds into
(13:59):
you like, no, like, like in notime.
You know, because we connectwith these people that are with
us and we start sharing ourenergy, our thoughts and, for
you know, our habits and Ibecame well aware of you know I
hung out with some people thatweren't weren't so good for me
and I became well aware of.
You know I hung out with somepeople that weren't so good for
(14:19):
me and I looked at the direction.
You know you sit back 50 yearslater and you're like, oh, wow,
I can see the course.
You know it's like you'redriving around on a boat that's
not got a real strong engine andyou know you kind of direct
your course, but a little windblows and you go off that way.
Kind of direct your course, buta little wind blows and you go
(14:40):
off that way.
And I really think that thiscommunity I've felt a calling to
build a community all my lifeand I've struggled, I picked
wrong people and you know peoplecome and go and you know, but
finally I think I'm buildingsomething solid right now that I
can feel the strength of it andthe things you were talking
about, people that fit into allsides of it.
There's people that I can help,the strength of it and the
things you were talking about,people that fit into all sides
of it.
There's people that I can helpand there's people that are
(15:02):
helping me.
And it's like a big cable.
We're all holding on to it,we're all being pulled up a
little bit and we're all pullingthe guy below us up a little
bit.
And I think when you can havethat whether you build it or
(15:24):
find it or land in it, howeverit happens, or even just
recognize that you know we allhave that to some degree and
recognize the value of it andengage it maybe is the key.
There's such a tremendous valuein that Like just to have
somebody that holds youaccountable, is such an
incredible power, because doingit all yourself is so much work
(15:44):
and it's just too easy to let gofor a minute and give yourself
a day off.
But you can't.
There's no days off, right?
I mean, you know, when it comesto morals and values and doing
things right, you're eitherdoing it or you're not.
There's no, you know Goddoesn't have days off.
We doing things right.
You're either doing it oryou're not.
There's no, you know Goddoesn't have days off.
We don't have days off.
It's not like that.
And I think it's important.
Like you know some of thesupport groups for alcoholics or
(16:09):
drug abusers or suicidedepression, whatever it is you
know you have a sponsor orsomebody that you can call up
when you know you have a momentof weakness or whatnot, that's,
it's that same principle.
I'm not particularly the guythat supports those kinds of
things directly.
Everything works for everybodydifferently, but the idea of a
(16:35):
sponsor or somebody who is therefor you, I think is just huge.
I think that's a huge piece.
And then also when somebodylooks to you for that role, like
you say, when you teach, youlearn.
When you're held accountable,you stand up and you represent,
(16:56):
because it's a different thingwhen you're the only one relying
on you, or that other person islike looking to you, going, hey
, am I doing all right?
Well, you got to be standingtall when they're looking at you
for that.
So I think both ways are reallyreally important in guiding us.
You know, first we got to decidewhat we want and want.
That road that we're on or thatthey're on, you know, so we can
(17:19):
travel with them and then helpthe next one travel down it with
us.
But once we make that decision,it doesn't necessarily make it
easier.
It just means we kind of knowwhere we solid ground when you
(17:43):
know there's somebody there thatyou can rely on, maybe that
knows that they've been throughwhat you're going through, or
maybe they know how to you know,we go through these journeys
where we're just like I don'tknow what I'm doing, but I'm
going to make these decisions asI go.
But there's something that says,well, there's this guy here.
(18:04):
If I run into this reallydifficult spot, I can.
I can say, hey, what do youthink?
You know, I think that's,that's just absolutely huge.
So I'm, I'm, I really want thelisteners to get the impact of
that, because I really thinkthat you know, the podcast is
amazing because you now have anavenue to share your experiences
(18:28):
with 30,000 people and you justdon't ever know how far that's
going to reach, who that's goingto reach.
You know, it's like, I wouldsay, those of us that are trying
to make change for ourselvesand others.
We're like a little lighthouse.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know you got a little light on and it's going
on, but as you reach more people, the light gets a little
brighter and more people canfind you, more people can find
answers, more people you can domore good and in in turn, you
learn more and you can providemore, and it just keeps growing
yeah, absolutely, and I thinkthe the challenge, though so
(19:05):
many, especially men, you know,and I again, because I work with
men so much, I'll speak to themen but we wrestle with this
because there is this lone wolfmentality that a lot of men
struggle with and we think, well, we're just going to figure
this out on our own, and youknow, I'm going to grind it out,
and when I bring my head up,y'all will see.
You know, and you know, I getit.
(19:28):
And I think that some peoplethink there's a sort of nobility
in that of like I'm a self-mademan, I'm a fill in the blank.
No one is a self-made man, I'ma fill in the blank.
No one is a self-made man, forthe record.
If you believe that it's afallacy, um, but I would say the
lone wolf dies alone.
Strong wolves build packs, forsure.
And the challenging thing is isit's hard to fight that,
(19:53):
because it requires us to layour egos down, it requires us to
lay our pride aside, you know,and to say, uh, I could really
use some extra feedback or somehelp.
So let me give you some context.
I was floundering in this pointin my life because all I had
known was these leadershippositions and I ended up working
, doing general contracting,working as a laborer, and I was
(20:14):
working on this guy's house andhe multiple properties, multiple
businesses, very wealthy manrolled up in his Porsche, but he
seemed to be a really nice guy.
I was literally carrying abucket of bricks when I came up
to talk to him and I said, hey,you know his name was Richard.
I said, hey, richard, I know wedon't know each other that well
(20:36):
, I'm just labor working on yourhouse, but I'm like you seem
like you've done very wellfinancially and I just I admire
you, man.
You have a beautiful family.
Would you be willing to andthis is a bit of a moonshot, but
would you be willing to connectwith me and just maybe once a
quarter or once a month, grab acoffee, grab a beer?
I would love to learn from you.
You know, how did you acquirethis wealth?
(20:58):
How did you do this?
And he looked at me and I'llnever forget it, like it took me
forever to get the courage tochoke at the words.
And he looked at me.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
He said I would absolutely love to wow and in
fact he said, when works for youwow, well, kudos on both of you
now just to have the courage todo that.
That's not a.
You know those, those folks I Iwas a painter for 20 years.
I worked on a lot of reallywealthy folks, homes and most of
(21:25):
these guys you know they rollup and they've got this.
You know presence and you knowpeople around them and all these
things and.
But you know you come to findout if you're just a regular
person and you just treateverybody the same.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
A lot of them are just regular, regular humans,
just like the rest of us yeah,and you know it's interesting,
you know, and he taught me this,you know, uh, and and I've
actually built a frameworkaround it I called the iron five
.
So every one of my clients, uh,everyone in my community has
their own iron five, which istheir five men who surround them
, which we can break or breakdown a little later if you want.
But essentially what what hetaught me was?
(22:00):
He said listen, mitchell, hasanyone ever asked you for advice
?
I said yeah yeah for sure.
He said how did that make youfeel?
I said, well, it felt good.
I was humbled, flattered.
He said, well, would you haveactually even gone out of your
way to make time to meet withthis person who asked for your
advice?
I said, yeah, sure, because I'dlove to help.
(22:20):
So he said well, what makes youthink you're any different?
Reaching out to anyone else forhelp?
Right, like you reached out tome, and that's the thing Joe is
is our pride gets in the way, orwe think that we're going to be
a burden?
Right, but here's the thingAnyone who's ahead of you in
their marriage, their financesand the fitness and their
mindset you know, you name itthey understand how much it
takes to get to where you wantto go, and so they're not going
(22:43):
to criticize you.
The only people who are going tocriticize you are the people
that are well behind you.
You know what.
Those might be haters, theymight be victims, whatever, but
they're not going to be whereyou're going, so it doesn't
matter.
Yeah, exactly, it's relevant toyou.
Yeah, exactly, reach up, reachout and have those men rally
around you or, if you'relistening to your woman, women
rally around you and to show youwhat's possible and that you
(23:07):
know there's so much other,there's a lot more nuance to it
than that.
But at the end of the day, youdon't have to and you don't have
to get into like a communitylike mine or, you know, hire me
as a coach or whatever.
You could simply just reach outinto your circle and that's all
I did.
I looked at around my circle.
I said who has the bestmarriage that I know?
Who has the who's in the bestshape that I know?
(23:30):
Who has who's who's the mostwealthy that I know in my own
sphere of influence?
And then I found those fiveguys and I just reached out like
that and I tell you what theyweren't like, these crazy high
level people, but they werequite a few steps ahead of me.
They gave me the starting steps, they gave me the places to
begin and then, from there on, Itook it forward right and here
(23:55):
I am today.
But it all starts with thatdecision and that, at the end of
the day, joe is ownership.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's ownership.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Right Saying like my.
My moment at the funeral waslike you know what?
My wife is not going to takethe bottle from me.
You know my kids aren't goingto take the pack of leaders at
the at the cheerleader at thegym a pack of cheerleaders at
the gym parking lot cheering meon to be there to work out.
Is that going to happen?
(24:29):
I got to take ownership.
It's always going to bechallenging, and so until I
learn that I, that the cavalryis not coming, that I have to
take ownership, then nothing'sever going to change, because we
know that 95 of the decisionand this is evidence we know
that 95 of the decisions we maketoday are the same as the ones
(24:49):
we made yesterday.
So we live the vast majority ofour lives on autopilot and this
is why, going back to what youmentioned in the beginning of
the episode, this is why we justwake up one day and all of a
sudden, it's been five years,it's been 10 years.
So what you need to do is takethose thoughts captive and get
out of that rut and be like.
What does it look like to takeownership, to get present, to
(25:10):
get focused on where I'm going,because if I don't, no one's
going to do it for me, and if Idon't, I'm going to wake up 10
years from now and wonder why Iam where I am.
Because that's just a reality,and so that's what I would
encourage your listeners withthis morning.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
So I'd like to hear a little bit about your program.
I know we're getting a littlelow on time and I want to
understand.
You know you've talked about somany amazing points and
humility and ownership.
I think accountability is agigantic part of all of this and
you know there's some toolsthat I've used about looking at
(25:46):
the future, to how do I knowwhat I want to be and
identifying those things.
It all boils down to decisions.
You've got a pretty wellthought out program and usually
there are sort of pillars ofsupport that cause this program
(26:07):
to be what it is.
Why don't you tell us a littlebit about how that works?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, well, I mean, I could tell you.
I'll tell you what I'll tellyou about how I serve men.
You know the differentofferings I have.
But first let me just let meexplain to you one of the first
places I start with men, becauseyou can if you're listening to
this today, you can take thisand use it for yourself.
One of my clients called me upbefore I hired him.
He was in tears and he said youknow, this guy is a
(26:34):
seven-figure earner,multimillionaire.
And he calls me.
He says he's in tears and he'slike my wife.
I just found out that my wifehas a bunch of runaway money
saved up.
She got a down payment onanother place and she's going to
take the girls.
He said I drink about a dozenbeers a day.
I'm pre-diabetic, and he's likewhen my wife gets home from
(26:54):
work, I go to my own room and Idrink myself to sleep and he's
like what is wrong with me?
And and I drink myself to sleep?
And he's like what is wrongwith me?
And we started having this.
So he hired me, we startedhaving a conversation and I said
to him I said, mark, what doyou want?
He said I don't know and I'lltell you, joe, 90% of the guys I
(27:15):
talk to can't answer thatquestion.
So then the next question waswell, let's actually determine
what that is.
So one of the first things I dowith my clients is I get them
to write their own eulogy fromthe perspective of their wife or
their children, and this iscalled beginning with the end in
mind.
Napoleon Hill talks about this.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, yeah, I recognize that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Exactly.
We begin with the end in mind,and so that's my funeral moment.
That's exactly what theminister asked that question and
all of a sudden I had a flashto the end of my life, and so
what we do is we say, okay, ifyou were to die today, I want
you to picture your wifestanding over your casket.
It sounds a little bit morbid,but it's very visceral and
powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I want you to write the eulogy for her.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
What would she say about the husband?
You were, the father you were.
About the employer you were,you name it.
And then let's write a 2.0version.
And now, if you were every bitthe man that you were called to
be, that you were living at 100%of your potential, what would
she say about you then?
And let's identify those gaps,because that gap between who you
are right now and who you wantto be, that's where your
(28:22):
attention lies, that's whereyour frustration is.
So that's where we begin.
And then, basically and it'salways like I want to be a
better dad, I want to be abetter husband, I want to be
more present, all thosedifferent things, whatever.
So, going back to this questionwith Mark, I said well, these
are the things that you want,these are what you say you want,
but this is what your actionssay you want.
(28:43):
Your actions say you work 16hours a day.
Your actions say work is moreimportant than your wife.
Your actions say your cellphone is more important than
your kids because you're usuallyon that instead of playing with
them on the toy mat.
Your actions say Big Macs aremore important to you than your
fitness because you eat moreburgers than you do train your
physical body.
(29:03):
So why is it that your actionsare actually not in alignment
with what you say you want?
And that's the journey we startwe.
We start aligning what, whatour current actions are with the
things that we said we wanted.
And we don't get that clarityuntil we go right to the end and
we say hey, when you're goingto be taped, because there's a
(29:24):
hundred percent chance thatyou're going to draw your last
breath right.
spoiler alert yeah, they'regoing to happen to every one of
us, yep.
So what do you want to be thethoughts in the last few moments
you're breathing?
Do you want them to have regret?
You'd be be filled with regretor do you want to be filled with
gratitude?
Right, because you get to befilled with gratitude.
Right, because you get tochoose.
(29:45):
So let's now reverse engineerthat into today daily action,
steps and strategies to becomethat man.
Does that make sense?
It makes great sense.
So that's kind of where I wouldstart with a lot of my clients.
Right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I like it, I really align with your thinking.
You found out some things at apoint in your life that I hadn't
even begun to consider until Igot a whole lot older.
So it seems that we've walkedalong some of the same roads.
I was just 20 years in front ofyou, age-wise, but it's all
(30:19):
good.
I I am really grateful thatyou're doing what you do, and
how does your um call itpractice work?
Um, do people come to you inperson?
Is it?
Um?
Uh, virtually both.
How do you guys?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Thank you for asking, joe.
Um, I tell people I I serve menthree different ways.
So, real simple, three C's,okay.
First one is the content.
So it's the Dad Nation podcast.
It's simple, you can listenwhatever.
The second one is courses,which I have an online program
called the High PerformanceHusband, which is really
everything that I teach myone-to-one clients.
It's just in an online digitalprogram, self-guided, right Now.
(30:57):
That's good if you want to kickthe tires, but the best option
is the third C, which iscoaching.
Now we do group coaching.
It's called the Dad NationCoalition and we meet every two
weeks and we have group coachingcalls and we do have
conversations just like this,where we come in I teach a
framework, a concept, and thenwe have some conversation around
it.
We break out into rooms anddiscuss and, you know, apply it
(31:22):
in real time.
Anyone who's in the communityalso gets access to all the
other stuff, like the course Imentioned, and so, and then for
the right person who reallywants to go to the next level,
I'll offer one-to-one coachingas well, but that's typically
what my services look like.
So anywhere, wherever you areon that spectrum, you know
whether you want a free podcastto listen to, or if you want to
go all the way to invest inyourself and back yourself
(31:44):
financially, then I can.
We can have that conversationabout what it looks like to work
one-on-one or in a groupsetting with you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Fantastic.
Well, we're running about outof time, but I am just as I
suspected, this was a greatconversation and it opens the
door to further ones.
I would love to have you comeback sometime and maybe go deep
on a conversation on a topic,and you know, I like to have the
first interview just sort ofwide open door, see where we go.
(32:13):
But most of my guests have aprofound experience with some of
these things and to go deepinto a specific topic sometimes
can really have a special effectin meeting.
So I'd love to invite you backto do that one day.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, of course, and you know what, just if you're
okay with this, I'd love to giveyour listeners a free gift, if
that's okay.
Today, sure, yeah.
So, as we talked about, a lotof men wrestle in marriage and
really, in the context ofemotions, right, a lot of women.
I know, I heard it for years.
I feel like I'm married to arobot, you know, and women need
to be connected with emotionally, and so what I did is I created
, after coaching all these men,I've created something called
(32:51):
the Connection Code, and allthis is is 50 questions that are
strategically designed to sparkthe fun and bring the fire back
in your relationship.
So, if you feel like you wentfrom soulmates to roommates, you
know this is for you and it'stotally free, and the only rule
is whenever whether is you, yougo out on a date night or you
(33:12):
put the kids down and pour up aglass of wine, you just take
three or four questions off thislist and ask your partner and
it's gonna.
it's gonna just help you connectwith her so much deeper than
you were before.
I get emails from women all thetime saying like who is this
man that took me out and thesequestions?
It's been amazing.
So totally free for you andI'll give you the link.
But this is dadnationcocomforward slash code and if you
(33:34):
could put the link in the shownotes, just.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I certainly will, absolutely.
Yeah yeah.
Why don't you give us yourwebsite again and any other
contact, and we will include allthat in the show notes as well
yeah, for sure, thank you, man.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Um, yeah, the website is just dadnationcocom and uh,
if you just google that, or ifyou just google the dad nation
podcast, you'll find my websitethere.
Um, or, like I said, theconnection code, I'm on
instagram, I'm on youtube, butif you just search the dad
nation or mitchell osmond'll,you'll find me there.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I love it.
Well, mitchell, this has beenan incredible conversation.
I'm uh, respect deeply the workyou're doing.
It's, it's needed, it'simportant and, um, you're,
you're living your life's,calling I'm, I'm, I'm proud and
pleased to know you.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Thank you so much, joe.
I really honor you for whatyou're doing and I love the
mission you're on.
Thank you for your time.
I just had such a great time aswell.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So appreciate you, man, and let's do it again soon,
absolutely Well, this has beenanother edition of the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, joe Grumbine,and I appreciate all the support
and we will see you next.
Well, hello and welcome back to the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, joe Grumbine,and today we have with us a very
special guest.
His name is Mitchell Osmond andhe's a trusted advisor, a
leadership consultant, executivecoach and host of the Dad
Nation Podcast.
He's got over 15 years insenior leadership and he helps
(00:24):
high-performing men achievesuccess where it matters most at
home in their health, in theirhappiness and while enhancing
their career success.
Mitchell has guided executives,entrepreneurs and driven
professionals to bridge the gapbetween career achievement and
personal fulfillment, and thisfits just right on in with
(00:45):
Healthy Living Mitchell, welcometo the show.
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
doing today.
I'm doing well, Joe.
Thank you so much for having meon the show.
I'm looking forward to havingthis conversation, brother.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Likewise.
Likewise, we were talking alittle bit before, and just
recently we had at my non-profitGardens of Hope, a men's circle
, and that was the first time wedid something like that.
We've worked with women'sgroups before, all sorts of
different groups, but I reallyfeel that men working on
themselves is an important,needed element in humanity right
(01:19):
now.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yeah, I couldn't agree more.
And that's actually exactly whyI started the Danation Movement
as well, because I noticed, Imean, I was a byproduct of that
struggling.
You know, I was 60 poundsoverweight and we were 100 grand
in debt.
My marriage was on the verge ofdivorce.
I mean, it was a very difficulttime and I suffered in silence
(01:41):
for a long time.
That's what we do.
I suffered in silence for a longtime before I had the courage
to reach out, and when I did,and when I got myself around a
community of men, everythingchanged, and so I'm a byproduct
of that work, and so I couldn'tagree more with you, joe.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I love it.
So you know I lost about 50pounds about eight years ago and
you know I found myself in andout of financial problems and
marital problems and you knowI've always sort of found my way
through it.
But I've always reached out andstrove to build a community.
And that's really what thispodcast is all about is building
(02:19):
a diverse community.
And you know, with the elementsof all these different groups
intact, that we can, you know,branch off and work on ourselves
.
So I'm really excited that youwent down this one road, because
you know it is.
You take on too many things andyou can get so much done, but
when you keep your focus morenarrow, you can really move
mountains.
(02:39):
So tell me where you know howyou went from there.
It must have been a momentwhere you know you realized,
holy shit, I'm in a bad placeand, like you say, we suffer in
silence.
It's our, it's what we'retaught to do.
You know, just sit there andtake it and at one point you're
(02:59):
like that's not working.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, yeah, and I think it's a great starting
point for the conversation andfor me.
You know that, that turningpoint, you know there were two
for me actually, the first onewas a fight and so, and the
second one was a funeral.
Okay, so, the first one beingthe fight, I want you to picture
with me.
You know, I was sitting on thecouch with my wife and we had
been married for three yearsunder this point and we had a
(03:24):
huge fight.
It started off fighting aboutmoney, and then it was something
else, about my me not beingpresent and it spiraled.
And, to give you some context,we've been married only married
for three years, but it was avery difficult season.
Um, we struggled through thewhole three years.
But this fight, this day, wasdifferent and I knew deep down
(03:44):
that if I didn't changesomething, this was all going to
be over.
You know, uh, we had, we'dalways said we'd never use the D
word, you know, divorce in ourmarriage, and that day is the
first day we did Wow and to, to.
To give you some context, youknow, coming leading up to that
day, I had recently been let goin a senior leadership position.
My career was everything to meJoe.
(04:05):
It was my calling, it was myidentity.
I mean, it was all wrapped intothat.
So I spiraled into depression.
I was 60 pounds overweight,like I said, 100 grand in debt.
I was medicating with drugs andalcohol every day to try and
just cope and now I was gettingdangerously close to divorce.
I was checked out, stressed out, burned out and I didn't quite
(04:25):
understand Joe, like I was, Iwas.
I was so powerful at work and Iwas powerless at home.
Like I could go to work, Icould build organizations, I
could lead teams, lead boardmeetings.
But I came home and I didn'teven know how to talk to my own
wife.
And there was this tension thatI was facing, you know, and, and
at times it felt like, uh,there was this tension that I
(04:46):
was facing, and at times it feltlike there was like this I was
two different people.
There was this duality that Iwas wrestling with, and I knew
where I had come from.
I knew that I wanted somethingdifferent, but I just didn't
know how to make the change.
And I mean, where I came fromwas I mean, I was raised in a
dysfunctional home, you know, Ihad a non-existent relationship
with my father.
Alcohol, drugs, crime, abusewere just littered throughout my
(05:09):
family, and so the problem waswas that I was letting these
unhealed wounds bleed into mymarriage and I began to torpedo
my life as a result of thisunhealed trauma.
And one of my favorite quotesis if you don't transform your
pain, you will transmit it, andthat's what I was doing.
(05:30):
I was transmitting my pain tothose that I love the most, and
when I would yell, I could hearmy father's voice, his words,
and so that was the first point,that big fight.
And then, one week later, wasthe second turning point, and
this was the funeral part of thestory.
(05:51):
Now I was invited to sing at thefuneral of this very wealthy,
philanthropic man and I'll neverforget.
You know, after talking aboutall of his accomplishments and
all he did in his life, you know, I was sitting side stage and I
was getting ready to sing thelast song and I heard the
minister ask the congregation.
He said Are you living a lifeworthy of imitation?
(06:15):
If you were to die tomorrow,would you be proud of the legacy
that you left?
And, joe, for me, I was tryingto get myself together and sing
the last song and I could barelychoke out the lyrics because I
was.
All I could think was, if thiswere my funeral, nobody would be
saying they wanted to imitatemy life.
Nobody would be saying I wantto have, I want to have a
(06:37):
marriage like his, or heinspired me to get into shape,
or he inspired me how to stewardmy finances.
Well, they would probably sayhe struggled and then it was
over and it was a sad reality.
And that's the thing aboutfunerals is people tell stories
because that's all that theyhave left.
And that day, joe, I wasdetermined.
(06:58):
I said by the time I leave thischurch, I'm going to start
writing new chapters to my story.
I'm going to start writing newchapters to my story.
This ends with me, and so Iimmediately, you know, within a,
within a week or so, I startedreaching out to men in my life.
Uh, and they surrounded me, menwho, who my ceiling was their
floor, you understand, peoplewho were living where I wanted
(07:21):
to go.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
People who would would not only show me what's
possible, but they would hold meto the standard that I said I
wanted for my family.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
You're blessed to have those people in your circle
, though.
That's incredible, yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
And so within 18 months, a year and a half, I
paid off the a hundred grandgrand of debt, completely
restored our marriage, paid offthe or uh lost the 60 pounds.
It was totally clear, focusedand free of distractions,
alcohol, you know all that stuff.
And then what happened?
I mean, those were my twoturning points.
But then I started helpingfriends around me you know guys
(08:00):
who who were also struggling onmarriage or in debt or had a
hard time losing, uh losing, youknow, you name it Right.
And then one of my mentorschallenged me.
He said, man, if you reallywant to have impact, you want to
live a legacy or live a lifeworthy of imitation.
Start a podcast and startsharing your story with the
world.
Absolutely Exactly.
And so, just out of obedience,I did that and within 18 months,
(08:23):
you know, the Dad Nationpodcast was globally rated top
10% across the world.
And, yeah, today I have over33,000 listeners.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And then they all started.
Some of the people startedchiming in and being like, hey,
would you help, would you coach,would you teach me what you did
?
And I'd already been doing itwith all my friends for free
along the way.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, and that's our progression.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Exactly so.
Then I launched the coachingpractice, Dad Nation, the
coalition, and so now I just docoaching and executive advising
to high-performing men who wantto reclaim their home, their
health and their happiness.
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
What a beautiful story.
Yeah, that's what got me here,man.
So what's the timeline on this?
When was it that you were atthat funeral?
How long ago?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
This would have been about eight years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay, all right, so you're about six and a half
years into this journey.
That's fantastic.
Wow, all I can say is I'm proudof you, man.
Thank you, what a great story.
You clearly have a legacy thatyou're leaving behind now and
(09:31):
you're so young you're stilljust getting started.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Yeah, just warming up .
Speaker 1 (09:36):
I love it, I love it.
So tell me a little bit aboutyour family.
This is a dad podcast, so I'massuming you have some children.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Yeah for sure.
So that's interesting becausebefore I was a biological father
, I held many father kind ofroles and I know you'll probably
find this interesting.
But because of the fact that Ihad said I came from this
dysfunctional family, part ofthat was my older sister.
I was the baby boy of two oldersisters.
One of them ended up marryingan alcoholic and another
(10:07):
alcoholic, and so on and soforth.
She had three daughters and allthree of them struggled with
drug addiction, suicide ideation, attempts, alcoholism, things
like that, anxiety, and so atdifferent points me and my wife
took in three of my nieces tohelp them recover from their
(10:28):
addiction or from their anxiety.
I've picked up one of my niecesseveral times from a mental
health institution where she hadattempted suicide, and so
before we even became parents,we had years of experience
walking alongside these teenagegirls and showing them what love
looked like, showing them howto respect themselves, showing
(10:50):
them what a healthy familylooked like, and before I even
became a dad, and so I'mactually a fairly new father.
Like, we have one son.
He's 20 months old, he's almosttwo years old.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Oh wow, You're just getting started.
I love it.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, and so I've been taking everything that I've
learned along the way and justbeen pouring into him and at the
end of the day, man, that's whyI started this.
It was kind of for selfishreasons, because I said to
myself, if I have any shot atbeing a great husband and a
great father one day, then Ineed to surround myself with
(11:24):
other men who were doing thesame thing, who were going after
the same goals, and so the bestway to learn something is to
teach it.
And so that's kind of how I gotinto this space, because I want
so badly to be the best husbandI can be, to be the best husband
I can be, to be the best fatherI can be and to leave a legacy
that's worthy of imitation, sothat my son one day, when he
(11:44):
grows up and should I have adaughter you know she will grow
up to I'm going to do my best tomodel greatness for them,
because we know statisticallythat, for example, if I have a
daughter one day, she's going togrow up to crave the attention
of a man that looks just like me.
And so my best chance at, youknow, if I want my daughter to
bring home a great man.
One day I need to model thatgreatness for her so that she
(12:07):
can recognize it in someone elsewhen she sees it.
So that's my mission, man, andthat's why I'm here.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I love it, wow.
So one of the things thatyou've brought up, you've got
some amazing points.
I clearly walk in your walk.
You understand, you know we, aswe go through that.
I'm a serial entrepreneur, soI've been paving my own way,
building things and crashing andburning, picking up.
You know it's a it's adifferent, different route.
(12:33):
I've done a little corporatestuff but for the most part I'm
just, you know, a figure it outmyself guy.
But along the way my goal hasalways been to be my best me and
to you know, to be the bestfather, now the best grandfather
and, you know, husband and allof this.
I got 30 years under the hoodwith my wife and you know we've
(12:54):
got some great times and somenot so great times.
You know, when you say thosevows for better or for worse,
well, that's life and I thinkthat that's part of you know.
The part they don't tell youabout with any of this stuff is
you're going to have hills andvalleys, no matter who you are,
no matter what you do, whetheryou're rich or poor or sick or
well.
All those things, those vowsactually have meaning and just
(13:17):
like life.
But there are things that, likeyou talked about in your
community.
Like I can remember my momtelling me, you know, about the
kids, my friends.
I was hanging around, you know,and she always tried to make
sure I had, you know, goodpeople around me and that's so
important.
You know, we think that we'reautonomous and we think that we
(13:38):
think for ourselves and all thisand we do.
We make our own choices, butwe're so influenced by the
people around us and when youfind somebody that's depressed
or lost or chaotic ordestructive or whatever the
issue is drugs, alcohol,whatever that stuff bleeds into
(13:59):
you like, no, like, like in notime.
You know, because we connectwith these people that are with
us and we start sharing ourenergy, our thoughts and, for
you know, our habits and Ibecame well aware of you know I
hung out with some people thatweren't weren't so good for me
and I became well aware of.
You know I hung out with somepeople that weren't so good for
(14:19):
me and I looked at the direction.
You know you sit back 50 yearslater and you're like, oh, wow,
I can see the course.
You know it's like you'redriving around on a boat that's
not got a real strong engine andyou know you kind of direct
your course, but a little windblows and you go off that way.
Kind of direct your course, buta little wind blows and you go
(14:40):
off that way.
And I really think that thiscommunity I've felt a calling to
build a community all my lifeand I've struggled, I picked
wrong people and you know peoplecome and go and you know, but
finally I think I'm buildingsomething solid right now that I
can feel the strength of it andthe things you were talking
about, people that fit into allsides of it.
There's people that I can help,the strength of it and the
things you were talking about,people that fit into all sides
of it.
There's people that I can helpand there's people that are
(15:02):
helping me.
And it's like a big cable.
We're all holding on to it,we're all being pulled up a
little bit and we're all pullingthe guy below us up a little
bit.
And I think when you can havethat whether you build it or
(15:24):
find it or land in it, howeverit happens, or even just
recognize that you know we allhave that to some degree and
recognize the value of it andengage it maybe is the key.
There's such a tremendous valuein that Like just to have
somebody that holds youaccountable, is such an
incredible power, because doingit all yourself is so much work
(15:44):
and it's just too easy to let gofor a minute and give yourself
a day off.
But you can't.
There's no days off, right?
I mean, you know, when it comesto morals and values and doing
things right, you're eitherdoing it or you're not.
There's no, you know Goddoesn't have days off.
We doing things right.
You're either doing it oryou're not.
There's no, you know Goddoesn't have days off.
We don't have days off.
It's not like that.
And I think it's important.
Like you know some of thesupport groups for alcoholics or
(16:09):
drug abusers or suicidedepression, whatever it is you
know you have a sponsor orsomebody that you can call up
when you know you have a momentof weakness or whatnot, that's,
it's that same principle.
I'm not particularly the guythat supports those kinds of
things directly.
Everything works for everybodydifferently, but the idea of a
(16:35):
sponsor or somebody who is therefor you, I think is just huge.
I think that's a huge piece.
And then also when somebodylooks to you for that role, like
you say, when you teach, youlearn.
When you're held accountable,you stand up and you represent,
(16:56):
because it's a different thingwhen you're the only one relying
on you, or that other person islike looking to you, going, hey
, am I doing all right?
Well, you got to be standingtall when they're looking at you
for that.
So I think both ways are reallyreally important in guiding us.
You know, first we got to decidewhat we want and want.
That road that we're on or thatthey're on, you know, so we can
(17:19):
travel with them and then helpthe next one travel down it with
us.
But once we make that decision,it doesn't necessarily make it
easier.
It just means we kind of knowwhere we solid ground when you
(17:43):
know there's somebody there thatyou can rely on, maybe that
knows that they've been throughwhat you're going through, or
maybe they know how to you know,we go through these journeys
where we're just like I don'tknow what I'm doing, but I'm
going to make these decisions asI go.
But there's something that says,well, there's this guy here.
(18:04):
If I run into this reallydifficult spot, I can.
I can say, hey, what do youthink?
You know, I think that's,that's just absolutely huge.
So I'm, I'm, I really want thelisteners to get the impact of
that, because I really thinkthat you know, the podcast is
amazing because you now have anavenue to share your experiences
(18:28):
with 30,000 people and you justdon't ever know how far that's
going to reach, who that's goingto reach.
You know, it's like, I wouldsay, those of us that are trying
to make change for ourselvesand others.
We're like a little lighthouse.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
You know you got a little light on and it's going
on, but as you reach more people, the light gets a little
brighter and more people canfind you, more people can find
answers, more people you can domore good and in in turn, you
learn more and you can providemore, and it just keeps growing
yeah, absolutely, and I thinkthe the challenge, though so
(19:05):
many, especially men, you know,and I again, because I work with
men so much, I'll speak to themen but we wrestle with this
because there is this lone wolfmentality that a lot of men
struggle with and we think, well, we're just going to figure
this out on our own, and youknow, I'm going to grind it out,
and when I bring my head up,y'all will see.
You know, and you know, I getit.
(19:28):
And I think that some peoplethink there's a sort of nobility
in that of like I'm a self-mademan, I'm a fill in the blank.
No one is a self-made man, I'ma fill in the blank.
No one is a self-made man, forthe record.
If you believe that it's afallacy, um, but I would say the
lone wolf dies alone.
Strong wolves build packs, forsure.
And the challenging thing is isit's hard to fight that,
(19:53):
because it requires us to layour egos down, it requires us to
lay our pride aside, you know,and to say, uh, I could really
use some extra feedback or somehelp.
So let me give you some context.
I was floundering in this pointin my life because all I had
known was these leadershippositions and I ended up working
, doing general contracting,working as a laborer, and I was
(20:14):
working on this guy's house andhe multiple properties, multiple
businesses, very wealthy manrolled up in his Porsche, but he
seemed to be a really nice guy.
I was literally carrying abucket of bricks when I came up
to talk to him and I said, hey,you know his name was Richard.
I said, hey, richard, I know wedon't know each other that well
(20:36):
, I'm just labor working on yourhouse, but I'm like you seem
like you've done very wellfinancially and I just I admire
you, man.
You have a beautiful family.
Would you be willing to andthis is a bit of a moonshot, but
would you be willing to connectwith me and just maybe once a
quarter or once a month, grab acoffee, grab a beer?
I would love to learn from you.
You know, how did you acquirethis wealth?
(20:58):
How did you do this?
And he looked at me and I'llnever forget it, like it took me
forever to get the courage tochoke at the words.
And he looked at me.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
He said I would absolutely love to wow and in
fact he said, when works for youwow, well, kudos on both of you
now just to have the courage todo that.
That's not a.
You know those, those folks I Iwas a painter for 20 years.
I worked on a lot of reallywealthy folks, homes and most of
(21:25):
these guys you know they rollup and they've got this.
You know presence and you knowpeople around them and all these
things and.
But you know you come to findout if you're just a regular
person and you just treateverybody the same.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
A lot of them are just regular, regular humans,
just like the rest of us yeah,and you know it's interesting,
you know, and he taught me this,you know, uh, and and I've
actually built a frameworkaround it I called the iron five
.
So every one of my clients, uh,everyone in my community has
their own iron five, which istheir five men who surround them
, which we can break or breakdown a little later if you want.
But essentially what what hetaught me was?
(22:00):
He said listen, mitchell, hasanyone ever asked you for advice
?
I said yeah yeah for sure.
He said how did that make youfeel?
I said, well, it felt good.
I was humbled, flattered.
He said, well, would you haveactually even gone out of your
way to make time to meet withthis person who asked for your
advice?
I said, yeah, sure, because I'dlove to help.
(22:20):
So he said well, what makes youthink you're any different?
Reaching out to anyone else forhelp?
Right, like you reached out tome, and that's the thing Joe is
is our pride gets in the way, orwe think that we're going to be
a burden?
Right, but here's the thingAnyone who's ahead of you in
their marriage, their financesand the fitness and their
mindset you know, you name itthey understand how much it
takes to get to where you wantto go, and so they're not going
(22:43):
to criticize you.
The only people who are going tocriticize you are the people
that are well behind you.
You know what.
Those might be haters, theymight be victims, whatever, but
they're not going to be whereyou're going, so it doesn't
matter.
Yeah, exactly, it's relevant toyou.
Yeah, exactly, reach up, reachout and have those men rally
around you or, if you'relistening to your woman, women
rally around you and to show youwhat's possible and that you
(23:07):
know there's so much other,there's a lot more nuance to it
than that.
But at the end of the day, youdon't have to and you don't have
to get into like a communitylike mine or, you know, hire me
as a coach or whatever.
You could simply just reach outinto your circle and that's all
I did.
I looked at around my circle.
I said who has the bestmarriage that I know?
Who has the who's in the bestshape that I know?
(23:30):
Who has who's who's the mostwealthy that I know in my own
sphere of influence?
And then I found those fiveguys and I just reached out like
that and I tell you what theyweren't like, these crazy high
level people, but they werequite a few steps ahead of me.
They gave me the starting steps, they gave me the places to
begin and then, from there on, Itook it forward right and here
(23:55):
I am today.
But it all starts with thatdecision and that, at the end of
the day, joe is ownership.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
That's ownership.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Right Saying like my.
My moment at the funeral waslike you know what?
My wife is not going to takethe bottle from me.
You know my kids aren't goingto take the pack of leaders at
the at the cheerleader at thegym a pack of cheerleaders at
the gym parking lot cheering meon to be there to work out.
Is that going to happen?
(24:29):
I got to take ownership.
It's always going to bechallenging, and so until I
learn that I, that the cavalryis not coming, that I have to
take ownership, then nothing'sever going to change, because we
know that 95 of the decisionand this is evidence we know
that 95 of the decisions we maketoday are the same as the ones
(24:49):
we made yesterday.
So we live the vast majority ofour lives on autopilot and this
is why, going back to what youmentioned in the beginning of
the episode, this is why we justwake up one day and all of a
sudden, it's been five years,it's been 10 years.
So what you need to do is takethose thoughts captive and get
out of that rut and be like.
What does it look like to takeownership, to get present, to
(25:10):
get focused on where I'm going,because if I don't, no one's
going to do it for me, and if Idon't, I'm going to wake up 10
years from now and wonder why Iam where I am.
Because that's just a reality,and so that's what I would
encourage your listeners withthis morning.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
So I'd like to hear a little bit about your program.
I know we're getting a littlelow on time and I want to
understand.
You know you've talked about somany amazing points and
humility and ownership.
I think accountability is agigantic part of all of this and
you know there's some toolsthat I've used about looking at
(25:46):
the future, to how do I knowwhat I want to be and
identifying those things.
It all boils down to decisions.
You've got a pretty wellthought out program and usually
there are sort of pillars ofsupport that cause this program
(26:07):
to be what it is.
Why don't you tell us a littlebit about how that works?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, well, I mean, I could tell you.
I'll tell you what I'll tellyou about how I serve men.
You know the differentofferings I have.
But first let me just let meexplain to you one of the first
places I start with men, becauseyou can if you're listening to
this today, you can take thisand use it for yourself.
One of my clients called me upbefore I hired him.
He was in tears and he said youknow, this guy is a
(26:34):
seven-figure earner,multimillionaire.
And he calls me.
He says he's in tears and he'slike my wife.
I just found out that my wifehas a bunch of runaway money
saved up.
She got a down payment onanother place and she's going to
take the girls.
He said I drink about a dozenbeers a day.
I'm pre-diabetic, and he's likewhen my wife gets home from
(26:54):
work, I go to my own room and Idrink myself to sleep and he's
like what is wrong with me?
And and I drink myself to sleep?
And he's like what is wrongwith me?
And we started having this.
So he hired me, we startedhaving a conversation and I said
to him I said, mark, what doyou want?
He said I don't know and I'lltell you, joe, 90% of the guys I
(27:15):
talk to can't answer thatquestion.
So then the next question waswell, let's actually determine
what that is.
So one of the first things I dowith my clients is I get them
to write their own eulogy fromthe perspective of their wife or
their children, and this iscalled beginning with the end in
mind.
Napoleon Hill talks about this.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
Yeah, yeah, I recognize that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Exactly.
We begin with the end in mind,and so that's my funeral moment.
That's exactly what theminister asked that question and
all of a sudden I had a flashto the end of my life, and so
what we do is we say, okay, ifyou were to die today, I want
you to picture your wifestanding over your casket.
It sounds a little bit morbid,but it's very visceral and
powerful.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I want you to write the eulogy for her.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
What would she say about the husband?
You were, the father you were.
About the employer you were,you name it.
And then let's write a 2.0version.
And now, if you were every bitthe man that you were called to
be, that you were living at 100%of your potential, what would
she say about you then?
And let's identify those gaps,because that gap between who you
are right now and who you wantto be, that's where your
(28:22):
attention lies, that's whereyour frustration is.
So that's where we begin.
And then, basically and it'salways like I want to be a
better dad, I want to be abetter husband, I want to be
more present, all thosedifferent things, whatever.
So, going back to this questionwith Mark, I said well, these
are the things that you want,these are what you say you want,
but this is what your actionssay you want.
(28:43):
Your actions say you work 16hours a day.
Your actions say work is moreimportant than your wife.
Your actions say your cellphone is more important than
your kids because you're usuallyon that instead of playing with
them on the toy mat.
Your actions say Big Macs aremore important to you than your
fitness because you eat moreburgers than you do train your
physical body.
(29:03):
So why is it that your actionsare actually not in alignment
with what you say you want?
And that's the journey we startwe.
We start aligning what, whatour current actions are with the
things that we said we wanted.
And we don't get that clarityuntil we go right to the end and
we say hey, when you're goingto be taped, because there's a
(29:24):
hundred percent chance thatyou're going to draw your last
breath right.
spoiler alert yeah, they'regoing to happen to every one of
us, yep.
So what do you want to be thethoughts in the last few moments
you're breathing?
Do you want them to have regret?
You'd be be filled with regretor do you want to be filled with
gratitude?
Right, because you get to befilled with gratitude.
Right, because you get tochoose.
(29:45):
So let's now reverse engineerthat into today daily action,
steps and strategies to becomethat man.
Does that make sense?
It makes great sense.
So that's kind of where I wouldstart with a lot of my clients.
Right, I like it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
I like it, I really align with your thinking.
You found out some things at apoint in your life that I hadn't
even begun to consider until Igot a whole lot older.
So it seems that we've walkedalong some of the same roads.
I was just 20 years in front ofyou, age-wise, but it's all
(30:19):
good.
I I am really grateful thatyou're doing what you do, and
how does your um call itpractice work?
Um, do people come to you inperson?
Is it?
Um?
Uh, virtually both.
How do you guys?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Thank you for asking, joe.
Um, I tell people I I serve menthree different ways.
So, real simple, three C's,okay.
First one is the content.
So it's the Dad Nation podcast.
It's simple, you can listenwhatever.
The second one is courses,which I have an online program
called the High PerformanceHusband, which is really
everything that I teach myone-to-one clients.
It's just in an online digitalprogram, self-guided, right Now.
(30:57):
That's good if you want to kickthe tires, but the best option
is the third C, which iscoaching.
Now we do group coaching.
It's called the Dad NationCoalition and we meet every two
weeks and we have group coachingcalls and we do have
conversations just like this,where we come in I teach a
framework, a concept, and thenwe have some conversation around
it.
We break out into rooms anddiscuss and, you know, apply it
(31:22):
in real time.
Anyone who's in the communityalso gets access to all the
other stuff, like the course Imentioned, and so, and then for
the right person who reallywants to go to the next level,
I'll offer one-to-one coachingas well, but that's typically
what my services look like.
So anywhere, wherever you areon that spectrum, you know
whether you want a free podcastto listen to, or if you want to
go all the way to invest inyourself and back yourself
(31:44):
financially, then I can.
We can have that conversationabout what it looks like to work
one-on-one or in a groupsetting with you.
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Fantastic.
Well, we're running about outof time, but I am just as I
suspected, this was a greatconversation and it opens the
door to further ones.
I would love to have you comeback sometime and maybe go deep
on a conversation on a topic,and you know, I like to have the
first interview just sort ofwide open door, see where we go.
(32:13):
But most of my guests have aprofound experience with some of
these things and to go deepinto a specific topic sometimes
can really have a special effectin meeting.
So I'd love to invite you backto do that one day.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Yeah, of course, and you know what, just if you're
okay with this, I'd love to giveyour listeners a free gift, if
that's okay.
Today, sure, yeah.
So, as we talked about, a lotof men wrestle in marriage and
really, in the context ofemotions, right, a lot of women.
I know, I heard it for years.
I feel like I'm married to arobot, you know, and women need
to be connected with emotionally, and so what I did is I created
, after coaching all these men,I've created something called
(32:51):
the Connection Code, and allthis is is 50 questions that are
strategically designed to sparkthe fun and bring the fire back
in your relationship.
So, if you feel like you wentfrom soulmates to roommates, you
know this is for you and it'stotally free, and the only rule
is whenever whether is you, yougo out on a date night or you
(33:12):
put the kids down and pour up aglass of wine, you just take
three or four questions off thislist and ask your partner and
it's gonna.
it's gonna just help you connectwith her so much deeper than
you were before.
I get emails from women all thetime saying like who is this
man that took me out and thesequestions?
It's been amazing.
So totally free for you andI'll give you the link.
But this is dadnationcocomforward slash code and if you
(33:34):
could put the link in the shownotes, just.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I certainly will, absolutely.
Yeah yeah.
Why don't you give us yourwebsite again and any other
contact, and we will include allthat in the show notes as well
yeah, for sure, thank you, man.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Um, yeah, the website is just dadnationcocom and uh,
if you just google that, or ifyou just google the dad nation
podcast, you'll find my websitethere.
Um, or, like I said, theconnection code, I'm on
instagram, I'm on youtube, butif you just search the dad
nation or mitchell osmond'll,you'll find me there.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I love it.
Well, mitchell, this has beenan incredible conversation.
I'm uh, respect deeply the workyou're doing.
It's, it's needed, it'simportant and, um, you're,
you're living your life's,calling I'm, I'm, I'm proud and
pleased to know you.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Thank you so much, joe.
I really honor you for whatyou're doing and I love the
mission you're on.
Thank you for your time.
I just had such a great time aswell.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
So appreciate you, man, and let's do it again soon,
absolutely Well, this has beenanother edition of the Healthy
Living Podcast.
I'm your host, joe Grumbine,and I appreciate all the support
and we will see you next.
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