June 26, 2025 • 56 mins
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In this powerful and deeply resonant conversation, Jenee is joined by soul sister, medicine woman, shamanic facilitator and soul integration practitioner Zia Sparkleheart. Together they unpack the concept of innercension — the inward path to the heart — and explore the embodied truth of spiritual awakening outside the traditional “ascension” paradigm.
Zia speaks candidly about her experience bridging shamanic practices and Kriya energy work, holding true to the wild soul’s unique expression, and navigating the spiritual path without spiritual performance.
This episode is an invocation for radical self-inclusion, reclaiming your soul song, and honoring your energetic rhythm — no matter how unconventional it looks. It closes with a gentle guided heart-centered meditation to reconnect you with your essence.
If you've ever felt burned out by your spiritual practice, unsure of your voice, or ready to move from the "ladder of healing" into genuine soul freedom, this one's for you.
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CREDITS:
Introduction script: Jessica Tardy
Introduction mix and master: Ed Arnold
Theme Song: "Heart Light" by Jenee Halstead and Dave Brophy
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This podcast is presented solely for entertainment and education purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this audio. Copyright 2024, Heart Light Media, LLC - All rights reserved.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jenee (00:06):
Welcome to the Heartlight Sessions, a podcast about light
working your way through darktimes.
I'm Janae Halstead.
I'm a singer-songwriter,holistic vocal coach, intuitive
guide and plant medicinefacilitator.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s.
I'm on a lifelong healingjourney and along the way, I
(00:28):
want to share the ideas andteachings that rock my world.
Every week on HeartlightSessions, I call in artists,
healers and thinkers to explorewhat's helped them live and
thrive from a heart-centeredplace, because the heart, it's
where the best things happen.
If you've ever wondered how tounlock your biggest
(00:51):
breakthroughs or how to comeback from that stuff that tried
to kill you, you know the stuffI'm talking about, the stuff
that's supposed to make youstronger.
Or if you've ever wondered howto just do you straight from the
heart, you're in the rightplace.
So join me, won't you?
Let's turn on that heart light.
Hello.
Zia (01:19):
Hello.
Jenee (01:22):
I'm very, very excited for today's guest.
This is like having a rarebutterfly come out of the forest
.
It took me, it took me quitequite some time to uh to get
Zaya Sparkleheart today on onthe podcast, but I promise you
(01:43):
like you going to want to hangon every single word, because
this woman is so beyondbrilliant and heart-centered and
she's a dear, dear, dear friend, teacher, mentor.
We work in medicine spacetogether.
She's a soul integrationpractitioner, a medicine woman,
(02:05):
a shamanic practitioner.
There's so many other thingsthat I could say, but we'll
start from there, hi.
Zia (02:15):
Thank you for having me on your podcast.
I'm so happy to be here and Ican say all of those things
about you and how brilliant youare and your gifts are just like
wow, and so I'm just gratefulfor your sister and thank you.
Jenee (02:39):
I'm so grateful too.
I really feel your friendship'sbeen one that's really taught
me a deep reciprocity insisterhood that like I have not
experienced very often in mylife and I think both of us have
really healed a lot of like thesister wound in this
relationship and reallywitnessing each other, holding
(03:03):
space for each other, witnessingeach other's magic and
brilliance and like there's nocompetition, it's just being
brilliant.
Exactly, exactly.
I'm so grateful I wasmeditating on the paragraph that
you had emailed me of whatyou'd just been thinking about
(03:24):
lately, what was up for you andthis kind of flow of
consciousness transmission, andone of the things that was kind
of the big theme wasinterception, intercension
versus ascension, and so it'sthis idea of dropping in, not
going up and out, and I waswondering if you could speak to
(03:49):
that and what that means to youand why that feels so vital
right now.
Zia (03:55):
Yeah, absolutely For me.
I was kind of running what Ithought were two different
pathways.
What I thought were twodifferent pathways, but they're
really just a combinatorypathway to the heart.
I was, and I am still, workingwith deep shamanic practice.
I do a lot of journey with thedrum, and that's probably my
(04:17):
primary form of journey.
Work is using the drum or toKappa or rattle, and I journey
myself into a trance state andgo into the lower world.
So the pathway, physiologicallythen, is I am moving downward
in my spine.
I'm doing the exact opposite ofwhat kundalini and kriya does.
(04:38):
I'm moving down right, and sothat was the root and that that
formed even before I had anyKriya training or practices, and
so I was moving down, down,down, down down and going into
the lower world and into therealms in that way.
And then I intersected withKriya yoga as a practice and I
(05:00):
was dancing with them both youknow I was doing Kriya practices
, I had a guide that wasteaching me Tantra internally
for the last decade of my life,teaching me how to draw energy
from my tailbone to my crown andshower that energy into my
field.
And all kinds of practices thatwere related to that.
(05:23):
That energy taught me, and itcould be my higher self, it
could be a, you know, anascended master.
I'm not really sure.
I didn't never had a name forthat.
It was just this inner deepwisdom and a voice that really
was like do this, this, this,you know?
And both of those pathwayscreated a convergence in my
(05:46):
heart chakra, and really that isthe heart chakra.
The heart chakra is a merkaba.
It's the masculine and thefeminine in its symbols combined
, and so it's like the masculinepathway of ascending, the
feminine pathway of descending,and then that combination of
those two pathways created thislike opening in my heart.
(06:10):
Wow, and, and then it made mereally be like interested and
curious about like well, what'sthe destination?
Right, you know?
people talk to the Leanyawakening and they talk about,
you know, there's all thesephilosophies and, and you can
kind of get stuck following apathway.
(06:31):
You know you follow a pathwayand you're like, yeah, but
something's, there's more to behad here, and I don't feel like
I'm receiving that.
And so for me it was like, youknow, I've always been able to
stay loyal to here and be like,well, that's just a pathway, I'm
(06:52):
just going to borrow what works, I'm just going to leave what
doesn't work.
And that became this justopening into my heart.
And that's what made me feellike it's an inner ascension
rather than an ascension.
Right, if we go up, it's onlyso that we can gather what we
(07:14):
receive from the divinemasculine to bring it into the
heart.
If we go down, it's only toreceive from the divine feminine
what we need and bring it intothe heart.
And the merging of the two isreally what we're after.
We're not trying to doclassically only one or the
other.
Jenee (07:31):
That's where I'm at, it's so beautiful.
I think that clarifies a lotfor people.
You know, and that's really forme, the opening and the
becoming has really been throughthis blossoming of my heart.
And this is the age we'rereally moving into with the
(07:51):
Aquarian, you know, the Aquarianage.
We're moving down from thismental, predominantly mental,
space into living from the heartand that's, you know what's the
saying, the longest journey isfrom the head to the heart and
it's really so much about cominginto the body as a temple and
(08:14):
feeling, because what is theheart?
It's the ultimate feeler.
So, creating that sensitivity orstarting to have, you know,
emotional literacy and startingto be able to feel things, you
know, that can be really, thatcan be really difficult for
people as they're starting towake up.
It can create a lot of pain,you know.
(08:36):
I know for me, when I reallymade this decision to like
unarmor my heart, that was kindof my first step is is I had
this awareness that, like, myheart was deeply, deeply armored
.
So I went through a process ofde-armoring but I did it kind of
too quickly.
I was working on myself, I wasjust like I'm just gonna, you
(08:57):
know, take this off, and then Ireally paid the price, like I
went through probably a year ofsevere sort of anxiety and like
deep heart pain, and so I'mwondering if you have any
suggestions for kind of that.
Zia (09:14):
First of all, I resonate and I imagine a lot of listeners
probably resonate with thatresonate with that going too
hard and having the oppositeside of what you were hoping to
get and and I feel like there'sa part of me that feels like
(09:35):
maybe that's all just a part ofit too, right?
Yes, you know I had my Kundaliniawakening and then I had a
similar experience of about ayear and, honestly, in the
deeper studies that I've lookedinto, you know, in like the
Chinese theory of this, like thegolden flower teachings and the
Kabbalah teachings, and youknow, every great philosophy has
(09:59):
some sort of pathway of how doI want to say it?
The Christed child or childwithin you, right Like the birth
of your Christ and and justlike a human, has a gestation
period.
I now have a belief that wehave a gestation period, that
soul birth that is.
(10:20):
I'm going to say it's about ayear long, that is I'm going to
say it's about a year long Inthat year I really feel like
well, we can't really doanything besides be with it.
And that was my experience ofhaving a kundalini awakening,
which was really the implantingof the seed into the egg of my
(10:42):
soul child.
And then it was like labor.
It was late, you know, and Ihad to stay faithful to my
practices to save my life.
Quite literally, that's how itreally felt to me and, honestly,
my health in that case kind ofdeclined.
There was actually some healthissues that came up.
(11:15):
And it made me really see thatwe need to be careful with our
work.
Yeah, to do this great work.
That's in hermetic terms,that's what it's called the
great work, and it will takeeverything that we have in order
to meet that.
So my thoughts to people whoare working their own inner
ascension and maybe they're onthe ascension pathway and
(11:36):
they're moving upward right now.
Or maybe they're on theirdescension pathway and they're
moving downward right now.
Descension pathway and they'removing downward right now that
no matter what polarity they'rein that both of those are good,
that no one can tell you thatyou are off or you're wrong or
you don't have it right.
(11:56):
And and I want to encouragepeople to listen to the call of
their soul, right like theirsoul knows the way we are all
supposed to have our kundaliniexpressed, not just for the guru
on the mountain yes there's nofucking gatekeeping for these
(12:18):
magical secrets.
Right, they are for us all.
So if you go to someone andthey're like only the rare every
once in 500 billion years, yeahyou know.
And if they prove all of thesesigns, you know, I'm like, no,
(12:38):
it's not like that for everyoneand I I believe that we all
incarnated now and that everyonewho's living here now is a
master of sorts.
Jenee (12:52):
Absolutely.
Zia (12:54):
Even if they are sitting on their couch playing video games
and they don't remember, itstill is in there, and so, for
me, I am more like.
What do you call it?
Like open sourcing?
It's like let's open sourceyour awakening, don't be afraid
to step in.
(13:14):
It's not for someone else, it'sfor you.
Yeah.
You know, yeah, absolutely.
Jenee (13:24):
I, um, I'm kind of looking over some more of this
pair, this paragraph that yousent and I loved this, this it's
kind of part of what you'retalking about with like radical
inclusion, and you wrote genuinespiritual practice always
brings you back to your own soulsong, so I I'd love to tie this
(13:46):
in a little bit to likekundalini awakening and you know
creating a spiritual practiceand how important that is.
So I'm curious for for you, howhas your soul song been
teaching you lately?
Zia (14:02):
I mean in deep, authentic relating it has been teaching me
about where I am being untrueto myself right, when I'm being
untrue to my soul song and, inthis moment, the questions that
my soul is posing to me, mygreat guru that lives inside of
(14:26):
my heart.
Would I be willing to riskeverything to be myself right?
Would I be willing to give upwhat you think of me and what
they think of me, and whatothers believe that I am or what
I believe I am, in order toarrive at the truest truth of
(14:51):
what I actually am?
And am I willing to do that onrepeat?
Am I willing to just kind oflet it all go right?
That's a me that you met onceand I was really that in that
time I was fully that and I'mevolving and that is fading away
(15:12):
like an old leaf and nowthere's a new me that's coming
forward.
And can I be brave enough tostep fully into that new me and
and and let the leaf fall, youknow, let it fall from the tree
and open into the newest selfthat wants to come forward.
(15:32):
And that has been, like youknow, terrifying, because
there's selves that I have comeinto, that I'm like, really
attached to a version.
But if this construct goes well,then what you know and and I
and I'm not really talking aboutlike ego, anything, you know,
(15:52):
I'm not really a fan of thatterm, cause I think it gets like
I'm just talking about, likethe way that we are, and when I
listen quietly to my soul and Ishut everything else out, she
has a path that she leads me onthat isn't anything that I could
possibly conceive of, and it'slike a wild, it's like following
(16:15):
a butterfly.
I don't know where she's goingto go next.
She's doing something and itthere's a consciousness to it,
there's a reason and, if I canjust let go a little, there's
more, you know, and there willalways be more.
Jenee (16:33):
What are some of the things?
Zia (16:34):
lately she's been teaching you or showing you Anything you
can put words to or you can putwords to or she's just really
asking me to step forward intomy medicine, and she's really
been teaching me about notforming myself to the shape of
(17:01):
another, because it's maybe whatthe pressures of society
expects of someone who is amedicine woman yeah and I feel
like she's constantly bringingme back to my wild and my
(17:22):
natural expression, if no onewas around and there were no
eyes to reflect into me anything, and I was just able to open
all the way into my most naturalexpression.
That's what she's trying to getme to do in front of others and
(17:45):
that is really, reallychallenging for me.
It's like I can do that whenI'm at home and I'm in my
apartment and, you know, all ofmy shamanic power objects are
around me and the energy thatI've created in my home is so
beautiful and um, and I can stayreally, really attuned to her
(18:08):
and that energy vibration and Ican, I can be there.
And then the dance is, you know, going into places and spaces
where there are others.
Yeah.
And, and then you have all ofthese vibrations and all of
these opinions that I can feelin the fields of others, beliefs
(18:28):
that come to me through thefields of others.
They don't have to say anything, he's in their fields, it's
their, it's their truths.
If you will come at me and thenit, you know, I feel this like
subtle, like pulling from mycenter right, like pulling my
center, and I'm like, well, thatpath looks really curious, you
(18:52):
know.
Well, maybe I'll follow thatpath a little bit, you know, or
maybe I'll follow that path alittle bit, and then, oh, that
one looks exciting, you know.
Oh, I should do that.
That person's doing that andthat looks really cool, you know
, and I've been having her belike, okay, but what about this
path, you know, are you walkingyour own?
(19:13):
Can you listen to your own?
Can you move in time with yourown song?
You know it's.
It reminds me of like have youever sung in a choir with, like,
multiple part harmonies?
Yes, yeah.
Jenee (19:28):
Yeah, most of my life.
Zia (19:30):
When you're in that setting .
If you're not careful, if youstart to listen to anyone else,
you'll lose the harmony that youbring.
Yeah.
And then you're like.
And then you have to literallysay I used to, maybe you didn't.
I would have to like, close myears Sometimes I would have to
leave the space to remember myharmony, to come back into the
(19:52):
circle and be like, okay, I'mhere, I've got it, you know, I'm
with it.
It reminds me of that Like.
Can you hold the, the song thatyou're you're singing, and
trust that your song is actuallya part of this huge symphony
that's happening and we needeach song to stay the way that
(20:15):
it is.
Jenee (20:16):
Yeah, it's really interesting because when you
awaken and then you find likeyour tribe, and then even in
your tribe you start todifferentiate and become more,
you know, in your own luminosityand your own spiritual
leadership.
And I remember when I was incollege choir we would, we would
(20:36):
always like start in our, inour spaces, like alto and
soprano, and then mid likemidway through the season the
conductor would have us mix.
So everybody, you'd be standingnext to a baritone and an alto
and you're like crap, you know,and it's very much like this.
(20:59):
This is like this is theindividuation process that
continues and continues andcontinues to happen.
And it's hard because then yourtribe sort of gets smaller and
smaller and smaller and you'relike where do I feel resonance
and where do I, you know, wherecan I step more and more into my
(21:19):
alignment and not get thrownoff?
And not get thrown off.
And also this does have a lotto do also with spiritual
leadership, you know, and justreally staying true to your own
soul vibration, you know, andthat can make you have to make
decisions in a moment that youknow you're like this doesn't
(21:42):
feel good for me, this doesn'tfeel aligned for me, and then
you know it's not your businesswhat anyone thinks of you and
that's a very it's kind of whatyou're speaking to and that's
like a very hard practice andyou have to continually,
continually.
It's almost like not even yourbusiness what you think of you.
It truly, truly you know it'slike what.
Zia (22:03):
What you think of you.
It truly, truly, you know it'slike what.
What others think of us is afictitious individual that they
have created.
That is more, really, aprojection of their own mind.
Exactly, it's a projection oftheir own inner teacher.
(22:28):
It's a projection of theirshadow, all mixed together and
and it's a projection of their,their higher selves.
Sometimes people can't owntheir own higher self and
they'll put that on you andthey'll worship you because
they're like, you know, you'reso dated out of that and it's
like sorry, I see, you know,yeah, you must be.
(22:51):
You know the goddess incarnate,and I'm like and what in you
needs you to own that in you,the goddess incarnate, you?
know, like that and you know so.
It's like less about, it's lessabout you anyway.
Right.
And I feel like that has been aharder one for me to release.
(23:13):
You know, the opinion of othersand and the subtle asks that I
was asking my soul to chain sothat I could belong, and really
what I've been dancing with isthe sense of belonging comes
(23:35):
from myself to myself.
Yes, when I make room for mysoul and I say you are whole and
perfect, no matter your shape,no matter your color and I'm not
talking about body here, I'mtalking about authentic body,
(24:01):
soul, vibration and shape.
Right Like I would never say toa squirrel what's wrong with
you?
How come you're not like ahummingbird?
Yeah.
Right, we would be like this isa squirrel, it's perfectly
shaped, it's doing perfectlysquirrel things, it's a squirrel
, right.
And then we have a hummingbirdand we're like they're perfectly
(24:23):
hummingbird shaped and they doperfectly hummingbird things,
and we're not trying to get themto be the other.
But when it comes to humans, wedon't realize that we are so
different.
We are almost like differentspecies from one to another.
You know, like the idea of likea snowflake.
You know a snowflake.
(24:44):
Every snowflake is a differentshape, and this is how far we
are completely incomparable,even though our suits look
somewhat yeah, but what'shappening on the inside is like
no, that is, it's like you mightbe from another star galaxy.
You know a whole different souldialect that is completely
(25:07):
unique to the person that's nextto you.
And I feel really like whatwould it be like to stay true to
my soul song and be able to dothat in front of and with anyone
you know?
(25:28):
And this makes me think ofChrist and it makes me think of
Kuan Yin, and it makes me thinkof Ram Dass, and it makes me
think of Yogananda and it makesme think of people who were able
to hold their vibration andtheir channel so powerfully that
(25:51):
they were able to move in andout of the world in all of these
places and spaces and stay trueto that.
Yes.
And we're still talking aboutthe legacies of that.
And we're still talking aboutthe legacies of that and I don't
know if those people came aboutthat and the legacy came first,
or whether they were chasinglegacy.
(26:12):
I don't know.
I have a story that theyweren't chasing legacy.
They were chasing ascension.
Yeah.
And legacy came forward.
Word, but I like you know liketo leave a legacy for the next
generation.
You know what is it like toleave like toe holds and foot
(26:34):
grabs and hand grabs up themountain or carve a pathway
that's smoother up the mountainfor the next generation, for
their spiritual development, andthat feels really important to
me to help them come up.
You know, you know, I'm workingwith my daughter right now and
(26:54):
to help them grow and help themevolve.
And where are youdevelopmentally?
Not not to try to be where I am.
Where are you and who are you?
What is your soul want?
Yeah, and how can I help yoursoul do what it wants in this
life?
Jenee (27:13):
Absolutely, and I feel like some of that, a lot of that
, you know, legacy creation orthe.
You know the, the goddesses andthe gods that you know, that
left a mark, an imprint thatbecomes an archetypal key on
this planet.
A lot of that was throughimmense suffering Look at Kuan
(27:36):
Yin, and that was the brokenvessel.
And then through the deep, deep, deep, deep self-compassion she
created, basically for herself,after being wounded to her core
, she creates so much compassionand love that it overfills her
(27:57):
vessel and pours out into theworld.
You know, and this is the deep,deep alchemy you know, and
there are others that that maybehave gone before us, that have,
I don't want to say, varyingdegrees of suffering, but
they've suffered, and at a levelthat's so, you know, tremendous
(28:17):
, that they can hold that forothers, you know.
So, in a lot of ways itlightens the load for for future
generations, you know, andtheir medicine is, is accessible
to you through all space andtime.
Zia (28:33):
All space and time you know , and it doesn't require that
you take a class and I and Ireally want people to hear this
it doesn't require that you havetraining.
It doesn't require that youtake a class.
It doesn't require that youknow deep philosophical or you
know magic teachings or that youunderstand, you know the
(28:56):
emerald tablets or the adnauseum information that is out
there.
What we know is that so many ofus and there's only one of us
so many of us have been workingthis working and all of that
wisdom goes into a great workingthat we've been working
(29:17):
together and it's accessible tous all.
It's the true cloud right.
It is the thing that we are alltaking, and we're taking these
bits of our workings, and anyone of us can access that it's
your divine right and receiveall of that wisdom from all of
(29:37):
the ascended masters and theirteachings just by opening your
heart to it.
Yeah.
And you can have a guide.
Come and they can teach youright, and so it's like the most
open sourced teaching that canbe.
All it requires is dedicationand a willing heart and
(30:00):
consistency to the practice ofwhatever is alive for you.
Yeah, consistency to thepractice of whatever is alive
for you, whether that's justsitting in meditation, or
whether that's chanting orwhatever lights you up, moving
your body.
You know, do it.
However, I'm always like theweirder the better you know like
, don't judge that I'm.
If your way of talking to God isthis, do it all day long, right
(30:24):
?
Who am I to say?
You know, and and I reallyencourage people and my students
to push past and beyond thelimits of the structure that
you've been working with todiscover the you that really
wants to be to discover the youthat really wants to be.
Jenee (30:48):
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned in the paragraph that you wrote
to me that you knowspirituality like becomes,
sometimes becomes the new ladderor the new thing to attain, and
you've noticed that thedifferent ways that we perform
in spiritual identity and I'mjust curious like this is very
much what you're talking aboutand just like how, how we can
(31:11):
kind of unhook from that it,because for me it's just, it's
more of like spiritualmaterialism and also that you
can stay on that wheel and likenever get off and think I'm
never healed and I'm broken.
You can easily get like intothis little bit of a hamster
(31:34):
wheel about that.
You know, I know for me likelike 15, 20 years of you know I
don't regret any of it and likevery grateful for all of it, but
at one point I was like okay ofit and like very grateful for
all of it, but at one point Iwas like okay and I was also
dancing around my core, my corewounding, which is so
interesting because I feel likeeverything that's happening on
the planet right now with youknow all of that, the
(31:55):
astrological bodies comingtogether and the and the sun,
and all all the codes that arecoming in.
It's really forcing people intothe core wound, but but in a
way that doesn't feel as itfeels very supported.
So before I very much wasdancing around that and just was
(32:16):
like, hmm, I can't touch thisfor whatever reason, you know.
And now it's like, okay, I'mdiving in, but it feels like
there's this undercurrent ofjust deep support and love
coming from the cosmos which isvery interesting and from Gaia,
from Mama.
Zia (32:31):
What's coming to my mind as you share that, and I'll then
share a little bit more aboutthe question you asked.
In 2019, I started to have somereally wild phenomenon.
That was like.
I'm still amazed.
You know, I had opened an altarin my home for the first time.
(32:52):
I had always had some sort ofsacred space, but I had a formal
place for my altar and at thetime it was facing West, which I
think maybe is interesting tonote.
But I opened my altar and I wasexperiencing.
I kept calling it like spiritgrand central station.
(33:14):
It would be like all of theselike deities kept coming through
there.
I would watch them.
They would flash through myaltar and they'd be, like, you
know, Artemis and Sekhmet, andit was a lot of like the
Valkyrie and Thor and Odin, andyou know it was like big, like
(33:34):
energies, and I'm like I don'tknow what is happening.
I closed the altar, you know,like is this?
What am I doing specifically?
Obviously, I was supposed tohold that gate, you know, altar
was tiny and I didn't reallyknow what the hell I'm doing.
I just did it from my heart andin that space I remember going
into a meditation period and atthat altar and my, my guides and
(34:00):
the energy showed me thecollective wound and it was like
this, like gash.
It was like a gash that wentlike kind of like this kind of
shape and and the weird thingwas, I could feel it in my body,
but they were like you feel itin your body, but everyone else
(34:23):
also feels it in their body.
The wound is actually showingin every cell.
The rash.
That tear is actually ineverything.
Wow.
And that it's beenholographically repeating itself
through all of matter, throughall of time space.
Wow.
So they were showing me likethey asked me to clear the
(34:48):
wounds and they asked me to prayto heal the wound, and what I
saw was cause.
I got to the place where I waslike I'm not strong enough, like
they were asking me to do it.
I'm like I'm, I'm, I can't.
This is so big, you know, likeI could feel myself almost like
um breaking down, trying tobring all of my energy to this
(35:08):
wound and being like I couldgive till I'm dead.
Yeah.
And won't be satisfied RightLike.
I don't.
I personally don't have enough,and so I called out for help and
my guides came and they theyspoke and they said you know,
you can't do it on your own.
Yeah.
(35:30):
This is a collective wound, soeveryone has to do this, it has
to be done together, and so Ifeel, you know, and Chiron is
shifting right, like in that isbringing us deeper into our
wound and and, and I would say,maybe not deeper into the wound,
but maybe willing to be with ityeah like willing to finally be
(35:55):
take the band-aid off and belike, oh shit, it's bad yeah
right and to look at it and belike, okay, I can't hide anymore
from the fact that there isthis deep thing that I need to
give attention to now.
Yeah.
It needs my attention and thatis the only thing I need to give
(36:16):
my attention to and heal it forus all.
Right, what I heal in myself, Iheal for you, what you heal in
yourself, you heal for me, andthat becomes.
Maybe it's just like theoutside edges of a cut that
start.
Maybe our little bit is justlike a toot toot yeah it's on
that, you know.
But then everybody does ittogether and we teach other
(36:37):
people how to do it forthemselves yeah and now we're
starting to see like, oh, it'sgetting smaller, you know, and I
think the juxtaposition is likethat work is happening and yet
the world looks like it's gottenmore.
It's like wow, I know.
(36:58):
I'm like is it getting better oris it getting worse?
I can't you know.
Or is it getting worse?
I can't you know.
And the only thing that keepsme centered is that my guides
are constantly like, when I pullcards and when I come into my
deepest heart, the message isalways encouragement, the
(37:21):
message is always hope, and I'mlike it's a good thing I have
cards that tell me that, becauseI swear, if I was using my
natural eyes right now, I wouldnot be able to hold that right.
And so, yeah, I feel like youroriginal question was about the
latter.
Yes, so I feel like for me, andreally what I'm referring to in
(37:50):
this, to in this, is, if youcome to a place in your
spiritual practice where youfeel burnt out, where you feel
exhausted, where you sit down todo whatever your practice is
and you're like I don't want to,I'm going to invite that you do
(38:12):
something different.
Maybe it's not that you'redoing it wrong.
Maybe it's that your soul iswanting you to follow her or him
or them.
And what would it be like tosit down to open up sacred space
(38:34):
with yourself?
Cause to me, that's the goal.
And what happens when you openthat sacred space with yourself?
Yeah.
Right what wants to be, insteadof it becoming like you know,
well, I'm supposed to do 20minutes of this and five minutes
of that and this, and then I'msupposed to go do that, and then
(38:55):
I'm supposed to journal, andthen I'm supposed to you know an
hour of this, and then you know, and then, by the time you're
done, you're like and then youknow, and then, by the time
you're done, you're like okay,you know, but it becomes a to-do
list if you're not careful.
Jenee (39:08):
Yeah, yeah, the temp.
Zia (39:10):
Yeah, and we lose like the connection with ourselves
because it comes, like you said,now we're stuck to this wheel.
Yeah.
And we're like the whole pointis liberation.
Yeah.
Right If it's not liberatingyou.
Think again Right If you don'tfeel liberated.
Yeah.
(39:30):
Then maybe there's somethingelse that needs to happen.
You know like there was a wholeperiod of time where my
spiritual practice involvedgetting in my car during
lockdown.
I would get in my car becauseit was a safe place to scream
because, everybody expects youto have road rage.
Right.
And I would just primal screamat the top of my lungs to the
(39:55):
energy.
Yeah.
The sacred act of the moment,right Was for me to let the
energy out of my body thatsacred act, so that there was
space then for me to be able todrop in deeper.
So it's not a ladder to climb.
(40:15):
And that brings me back to likeintercession, right, or I don't
want that to be a catchphrase,but I want people to think about
am I in my heart?
Yeah.
Is what I'm doing bringing meinto my heart or farther from it
?
Yep.
And that's a really good litmusof what to participate in and
(40:36):
what not to.
Jenee (40:37):
Yeah, and I think there's like that kind of templating
that can happen, especially whenwe're first starting out like
we can cling to that, even whenit starts to feel like, oh, the
wheels feel like they're fallingoff a little.
This doesn't feel quite right,you know.
It's like that's.
That's maybe when it's time tokind of let let go, you know,
and if you don't know what to donext, just try to be with
(40:59):
yourself.
If you've never prayed, maybetry praying to yourself.
Zia (41:04):
It feels resonant to you.
And staying with the body, Ireally feel like there's a lot
that can be garnered from justlistening to the body.
Practice lately is just to besilent and just witness and
(41:27):
listen to the wild undulationsof sensation that happen within
a body and the knowingness thatcomes from that and the
deepening into myself and andnoticing the edges and the
places where I'm like, oh, I'mresistant to that sensation and
I want it to go away.
And you like to get curiousabout it and let my body take me
(41:49):
into something right, which Ican do without having to have
story or words or really doanything but just be with my
body.
Jenee (42:00):
I know you wanted to lead a practice or a meditation.
Yeah.
I feel like we could talk for ahundred hours a hundred hours.
I definitely want to have you,you, back, but let's do this
meditation and then see how our,our time is.
Zia (42:18):
Beautiful.
So, if it feels good, and closeyour eyes or take a soft gaze
and maybe just welcome inwhatever energies feel
supportive to you Maybe yourhigher self, maybe your spirit
(42:47):
team, even if you don't knowtheir names and we're just going
to invite in an intention tojust connect with your soul song
, and I want you to just holdthat loosely.
So I'm just going to say thatand then you can let it go and
it'll be in the vibration andwe're going to start by rubbing
(43:12):
our hands together to form aball of chi, rubbing your hands
together until you feelsomething warm.
And when you're ready, you canopen your palms anywhere from
four to six inches apart.
Just feel the energy betweenyour hands.
(43:37):
And if you don't feel anything,just imagine that you have a
ball in between your hands madeof light.
And I'm going to ask that youimagine that that ball of light
(43:59):
is filled with something likelove or compassion, self-care,
gratitude, whatever word reallyfeels enlivening for you.
And then I want you to turn thehands toward the chest so it's
(44:20):
like you're balancing that ballbetween your heart and your
hands and in this way it's likeyou're feeding your heart.
So I just want you to hold thatthought lightly, like you're
feeding your heart Nourishmentand we're going to keep our
(44:44):
hands here holding this ball andwe're going to add on a breath.
So I want you to just let yourhands hold the ball.
You can let that go with yourconsciousness.
It'll do itself, it'll manageitself.
Use your imagination and enteryour spinal column wherever your
(45:08):
enter is perfect and imaginethat you're moving down through
your spinal column all the waydown to your tailbone.
(45:29):
And then I want you to imaginethat you can send that energy
all the way down through yourlegs and out your feet, down
into Mother Earth, branching outlike the roots of a tree, and
(45:56):
keep expanding your rootsdownward until you find a ball
of light in the center of MotherGaia, a deep wellspring of
(46:20):
nourishment, spring ofnourishment.
And as you approach it, askMother Gaia if you can place
your roots into that underwater,underground river, if you will,
and then just receive whateverGaia gives you, whatever Mother
(46:46):
Earth gives you, and we're goingto receive that by drawing a
breath in and drawing thatenergy through our roots.
So inhale and hold the energyat the heart chakra level.
So hold your breath at theheart and then exhale the energy
(47:17):
back down through your rootsand, on the inhale, drinking
that nourishment from MotherGaia, holding the breath at the
heart and holding the energy atthe heart, allowing the energy
to swirl around the heart chakraand into the heart, and, on
your exhale, breathing it backdown into the earth one more
(47:43):
time, drawing the energy up frommother earth.
Expand and hold it in the heartand exhale it down.
Beautiful.
(48:11):
So we're going to continue toallow that to happen.
It's going to continue to repeatthat, even though we're not
going to do that process, andwe're going to bring our
consciousness now and we'regoing to draw all the energy now
up to the spine.
So, wherever you are in thespine, enter the spinal column
again and imagine your energygoing up, up, up, up, up, all
(48:33):
the way to the top of the crownand then reaching, reaching,
reaching your energy up, yourenergy up, sending that energy
(48:54):
all the way to the central sun,the great central sun it's okay
if you don't know what that isReceiving all of that light
energy from the great centralsun.
And on your inhale, you'regoing to draw that energy down
from the central sun into theheart.
(49:16):
So, taking an inhale, receivingthe light into your heart, and
then hold your breath and exhaleit up and out of the crown
chakra back to the central sun.
Inhale, receive the light ofthe central sun into the heart
(49:53):
and exhale the energy back up.
One last time.
Inhale the light of the centralsun into the heart and hold and
(50:15):
exhale out the crown and we'regoing to bring our hands to the
bottom of the ball.
So it's like we're balancing theball in front of us and we're
going to slowly lift the ball up, lifting the ball up until your
(50:42):
hands come to the top of yourhead, almost like you're holding
it on top of your head and yourarms come out wide like
ballerina arms, but your palmsare up, and then exhale and
press the palms open, spreadingthat ball so that you're
actually putting yourself insideof it, and keep bringing your
(51:05):
hands all the way around youlike they're making a circle,
until they naturally come toyour lap and then flip your
palms up.
Palms are going to be like this,but seated on your lap.
Lift your palms up and thendraw the energy up, slowly, lift
(51:31):
the palms when they come to thetop of your head and float your
hands.
We're just dispersing all ofthis energy through your body
and we're going to stay withthat movement.
When you get to the bottom,your palms come up and you're
dispersing the energy throughthe body, coming upward, and
(51:55):
whenever your palms come to thetop, you rotate them and send
the energy back down.
We'll just do that one moretime, together and again
(52:23):
bringing your hands in front ofthe heart, back where we started
, holding the ball between yourheart and your hands, and maybe
taking a gentle bow to thisenergy that you have created,
(52:44):
and then press the energy intothe heart all the way, receive
it that was really nice.
Jenee (53:16):
That's like a little qigong and universal connection
combo.
Zia (53:27):
Yeah, working with your biodynamic fields of energy.
Jenee (53:33):
I feel so good.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Any final thoughts?
There's a lot more I think wecould have gotten into.
There was a lot more I think wecould have gotten into.
Zia (53:45):
I think my final thought is remember, it's all about love,
right?
It's literally the only thingthat's worth talking about, and
especially with the energiesthat are so present that create
(54:11):
separation, the only way throughis to love Even that which
seems unlovable.
Yeah, even that which seemsunlovable, yeah.
I have a belief that if we allcould come into love, that would
(54:34):
be it, and it is the answer inmy opinion.
And that doesn't mean that wesit and do nothing, but love
will form action.
Yeah.
Jenee (54:50):
That's beautiful.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome, eternallygrateful for you, thank you.
Part two Two, we'll have that.
Yeah, we'll have that soon.
Part 48.
Yeah, exactly Two, we'll havethat.
Yeah, we'll have that soon.
Zia (55:06):
Part 48.
Jenee (55:07):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
All right, sister.
Thank you so much Welcome.
The Heartlight Sessions podcastis executive produced and
hosted by me, janae Halstead.
It's edited, mixed and masteredby me too, and that theme song
(55:28):
you hear it's called Heartlightand yep, you guessed it, it's
from my record, disposable Love.
Got questions about a certainhealing modality or about
heart-centered healing, or maybeyou just need some advice on
life, love or creativity.
Send it my way, email me atletters at heartlightpodcastcom.
Until next time, I'm JanaeHalstead, and thanks for
(55:57):
listening to Heartlight Sessions.
Welcome to the Heartlight Sessions, a podcast about light
working your way through darktimes.
I'm Janae Halstead.
I'm a singer-songwriter,holistic vocal coach, intuitive
guide and plant medicinefacilitator.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s.
I'm also a survivor ofchildhood abuse, autoimmune
issues and my 30s.
I'm on a lifelong healingjourney and along the way, I
(00:28):
want to share the ideas andteachings that rock my world.
Every week on HeartlightSessions, I call in artists,
healers and thinkers to explorewhat's helped them live and
thrive from a heart-centeredplace, because the heart, it's
where the best things happen.
If you've ever wondered how tounlock your biggest
(00:51):
breakthroughs or how to comeback from that stuff that tried
to kill you, you know the stuffI'm talking about, the stuff
that's supposed to make youstronger.
Or if you've ever wondered howto just do you straight from the
heart, you're in the rightplace.
So join me, won't you?
Let's turn on that heart light.
Hello.
Zia (01:19):
Hello.
Jenee (01:22):
I'm very, very excited for today's guest.
This is like having a rarebutterfly come out of the forest
.
It took me, it took me quitequite some time to uh to get
Zaya Sparkleheart today on onthe podcast, but I promise you
(01:43):
like you going to want to hangon every single word, because
this woman is so beyondbrilliant and heart-centered and
she's a dear, dear, dear friend, teacher, mentor.
We work in medicine spacetogether.
She's a soul integrationpractitioner, a medicine woman,
(02:05):
a shamanic practitioner.
There's so many other thingsthat I could say, but we'll
start from there, hi.
Zia (02:15):
Thank you for having me on your podcast.
I'm so happy to be here and Ican say all of those things
about you and how brilliant youare and your gifts are just like
wow, and so I'm just gratefulfor your sister and thank you.
Jenee (02:39):
I'm so grateful too.
I really feel your friendship'sbeen one that's really taught
me a deep reciprocity insisterhood that like I have not
experienced very often in mylife and I think both of us have
really healed a lot of like thesister wound in this
relationship and reallywitnessing each other, holding
(03:03):
space for each other, witnessingeach other's magic and
brilliance and like there's nocompetition, it's just being
brilliant.
Exactly, exactly.
I'm so grateful I wasmeditating on the paragraph that
you had emailed me of whatyou'd just been thinking about
(03:24):
lately, what was up for you andthis kind of flow of
consciousness transmission, andone of the things that was kind
of the big theme wasinterception, intercension
versus ascension, and so it'sthis idea of dropping in, not
going up and out, and I waswondering if you could speak to
(03:49):
that and what that means to youand why that feels so vital
right now.
Zia (03:55):
Yeah, absolutely For me.
I was kind of running what Ithought were two different
pathways.
What I thought were twodifferent pathways, but they're
really just a combinatorypathway to the heart.
I was, and I am still, workingwith deep shamanic practice.
I do a lot of journey with thedrum, and that's probably my
(04:17):
primary form of journey.
Work is using the drum or toKappa or rattle, and I journey
myself into a trance state andgo into the lower world.
So the pathway, physiologicallythen, is I am moving downward
in my spine.
I'm doing the exact opposite ofwhat kundalini and kriya does.
(04:38):
I'm moving down right, and sothat was the root and that that
formed even before I had anyKriya training or practices, and
so I was moving down, down,down, down down and going into
the lower world and into therealms in that way.
And then I intersected withKriya yoga as a practice and I
(05:00):
was dancing with them both youknow I was doing Kriya practices
, I had a guide that wasteaching me Tantra internally
for the last decade of my life,teaching me how to draw energy
from my tailbone to my crown andshower that energy into my
field.
And all kinds of practices thatwere related to that.
(05:23):
That energy taught me, and itcould be my higher self, it
could be a, you know, anascended master.
I'm not really sure.
I didn't never had a name forthat.
It was just this inner deepwisdom and a voice that really
was like do this, this, this,you know?
And both of those pathwayscreated a convergence in my
(05:46):
heart chakra, and really that isthe heart chakra.
The heart chakra is a merkaba.
It's the masculine and thefeminine in its symbols combined
, and so it's like the masculinepathway of ascending, the
feminine pathway of descending,and then that combination of
those two pathways created thislike opening in my heart.
(06:10):
Wow, and, and then it made mereally be like interested and
curious about like well, what'sthe destination?
Right, you know?
people talk to the Leanyawakening and they talk about,
you know, there's all thesephilosophies and, and you can
kind of get stuck following apathway.
(06:31):
You know you follow a pathwayand you're like, yeah, but
something's, there's more to behad here, and I don't feel like
I'm receiving that.
And so for me it was like, youknow, I've always been able to
stay loyal to here and be like,well, that's just a pathway, I'm
(06:52):
just going to borrow what works, I'm just going to leave what
doesn't work.
And that became this justopening into my heart.
And that's what made me feellike it's an inner ascension
rather than an ascension.
Right, if we go up, it's onlyso that we can gather what we
(07:14):
receive from the divinemasculine to bring it into the
heart.
If we go down, it's only toreceive from the divine feminine
what we need and bring it intothe heart.
And the merging of the two isreally what we're after.
We're not trying to doclassically only one or the
other.
Jenee (07:31):
That's where I'm at, it's so beautiful.
I think that clarifies a lotfor people.
You know, and that's really forme, the opening and the
becoming has really been throughthis blossoming of my heart.
And this is the age we'rereally moving into with the
(07:51):
Aquarian, you know, the Aquarianage.
We're moving down from thismental, predominantly mental,
space into living from the heartand that's, you know what's the
saying, the longest journey isfrom the head to the heart and
it's really so much about cominginto the body as a temple and
(08:14):
feeling, because what is theheart?
It's the ultimate feeler.
So, creating that sensitivity orstarting to have, you know,
emotional literacy and startingto be able to feel things, you
know, that can be really, thatcan be really difficult for
people as they're starting towake up.
It can create a lot of pain,you know.
(08:36):
I know for me, when I reallymade this decision to like
unarmor my heart, that was kindof my first step is is I had
this awareness that, like, myheart was deeply, deeply armored
.
So I went through a process ofde-armoring but I did it kind of
too quickly.
I was working on myself, I wasjust like I'm just gonna, you
(08:57):
know, take this off, and then Ireally paid the price, like I
went through probably a year ofsevere sort of anxiety and like
deep heart pain, and so I'mwondering if you have any
suggestions for kind of that.
Zia (09:14):
First of all, I resonate and I imagine a lot of listeners
probably resonate with thatresonate with that going too
hard and having the oppositeside of what you were hoping to
get and and I feel like there'sa part of me that feels like
(09:35):
maybe that's all just a part ofit too, right?
Yes, you know I had my Kundaliniawakening and then I had a
similar experience of about ayear and, honestly, in the
deeper studies that I've lookedinto, you know, in like the
Chinese theory of this, like thegolden flower teachings and the
Kabbalah teachings, and youknow, every great philosophy has
(09:59):
some sort of pathway of how doI want to say it?
The Christed child or childwithin you, right Like the birth
of your Christ and and justlike a human, has a gestation
period.
I now have a belief that wehave a gestation period, that
soul birth that is.
(10:20):
I'm going to say it's about ayear long, that is I'm going to
say it's about a year long Inthat year I really feel like
well, we can't really doanything besides be with it.
And that was my experience ofhaving a kundalini awakening,
which was really the implantingof the seed into the egg of my
(10:42):
soul child.
And then it was like labor.
It was late, you know, and Ihad to stay faithful to my
practices to save my life.
Quite literally, that's how itreally felt to me and, honestly,
my health in that case kind ofdeclined.
There was actually some healthissues that came up.
(11:15):
And it made me really see thatwe need to be careful with our
work.
Yeah, to do this great work.
That's in hermetic terms,that's what it's called the
great work, and it will takeeverything that we have in order
to meet that.
So my thoughts to people whoare working their own inner
ascension and maybe they're onthe ascension pathway and
(11:36):
they're moving upward right now.
Or maybe they're on theirdescension pathway and they're
moving downward right now.
Descension pathway and they'removing downward right now that
no matter what polarity they'rein that both of those are good,
that no one can tell you thatyou are off or you're wrong or
you don't have it right.
(11:56):
And and I want to encouragepeople to listen to the call of
their soul, right like theirsoul knows the way we are all
supposed to have our kundaliniexpressed, not just for the guru
on the mountain yes there's nofucking gatekeeping for these
(12:18):
magical secrets.
Right, they are for us all.
So if you go to someone andthey're like only the rare every
once in 500 billion years, yeahyou know.
And if they prove all of thesesigns, you know, I'm like, no,
(12:38):
it's not like that for everyoneand I I believe that we all
incarnated now and that everyonewho's living here now is a
master of sorts.
Jenee (12:52):
Absolutely.
Zia (12:54):
Even if they are sitting on their couch playing video games
and they don't remember, itstill is in there, and so, for
me, I am more like.
What do you call it?
Like open sourcing?
It's like let's open sourceyour awakening, don't be afraid
to step in.
(13:14):
It's not for someone else, it'sfor you.
Yeah.
You know, yeah, absolutely.
Jenee (13:24):
I, um, I'm kind of looking over some more of this
pair, this paragraph that yousent and I loved this, this it's
kind of part of what you'retalking about with like radical
inclusion, and you wrote genuinespiritual practice always
brings you back to your own soulsong, so I I'd love to tie this
(13:46):
in a little bit to likekundalini awakening and you know
creating a spiritual practiceand how important that is.
So I'm curious for for you, howhas your soul song been
teaching you lately?
Zia (14:02):
I mean in deep, authentic relating it has been teaching me
about where I am being untrueto myself right, when I'm being
untrue to my soul song and, inthis moment, the questions that
my soul is posing to me, mygreat guru that lives inside of
(14:26):
my heart.
Would I be willing to riskeverything to be myself right?
Would I be willing to give upwhat you think of me and what
they think of me, and whatothers believe that I am or what
I believe I am, in order toarrive at the truest truth of
(14:51):
what I actually am?
And am I willing to do that onrepeat?
Am I willing to just kind oflet it all go right?
That's a me that you met onceand I was really that in that
time I was fully that and I'mevolving and that is fading away
(15:12):
like an old leaf and nowthere's a new me that's coming
forward.
And can I be brave enough tostep fully into that new me and
and and let the leaf fall, youknow, let it fall from the tree
and open into the newest selfthat wants to come forward.
(15:32):
And that has been, like youknow, terrifying, because
there's selves that I have comeinto, that I'm like, really
attached to a version.
But if this construct goes well,then what you know and and I
and I'm not really talking aboutlike ego, anything, you know,
(15:52):
I'm not really a fan of thatterm, cause I think it gets like
I'm just talking about, likethe way that we are, and when I
listen quietly to my soul and Ishut everything else out, she
has a path that she leads me onthat isn't anything that I could
possibly conceive of, and it'slike a wild, it's like following
(16:15):
a butterfly.
I don't know where she's goingto go next.
She's doing something and itthere's a consciousness to it,
there's a reason and, if I canjust let go a little, there's
more, you know, and there willalways be more.
Jenee (16:33):
What are some of the things?
Zia (16:34):
lately she's been teaching you or showing you Anything you
can put words to or you can putwords to or she's just really
asking me to step forward intomy medicine, and she's really
been teaching me about notforming myself to the shape of
(17:01):
another, because it's maybe whatthe pressures of society
expects of someone who is amedicine woman yeah and I feel
like she's constantly bringingme back to my wild and my
(17:22):
natural expression, if no onewas around and there were no
eyes to reflect into me anything, and I was just able to open
all the way into my most naturalexpression.
That's what she's trying to getme to do in front of others and
(17:45):
that is really, reallychallenging for me.
It's like I can do that whenI'm at home and I'm in my
apartment and, you know, all ofmy shamanic power objects are
around me and the energy thatI've created in my home is so
beautiful and um, and I can stayreally, really attuned to her
(18:08):
and that energy vibration and Ican, I can be there.
And then the dance is, you know, going into places and spaces
where there are others.
Yeah.
And, and then you have all ofthese vibrations and all of
these opinions that I can feelin the fields of others, beliefs
(18:28):
that come to me through thefields of others.
They don't have to say anything, he's in their fields, it's
their, it's their truths.
If you will come at me and thenit, you know, I feel this like
subtle, like pulling from mycenter right, like pulling my
center, and I'm like, well, thatpath looks really curious, you
(18:52):
know.
Well, maybe I'll follow thatpath a little bit, you know, or
maybe I'll follow that path alittle bit, and then, oh, that
one looks exciting, you know.
Oh, I should do that.
That person's doing that andthat looks really cool, you know
, and I've been having her belike, okay, but what about this
path, you know, are you walkingyour own?
(19:13):
Can you listen to your own?
Can you move in time with yourown song?
You know it's.
It reminds me of like have youever sung in a choir with, like,
multiple part harmonies?
Yes, yeah.
Jenee (19:28):
Yeah, most of my life.
Zia (19:30):
When you're in that setting .
If you're not careful, if youstart to listen to anyone else,
you'll lose the harmony that youbring.
Yeah.
And then you're like.
And then you have to literallysay I used to, maybe you didn't.
I would have to like, close myears Sometimes I would have to
leave the space to remember myharmony, to come back into the
(19:52):
circle and be like, okay, I'mhere, I've got it, you know, I'm
with it.
It reminds me of that Like.
Can you hold the, the song thatyou're you're singing, and
trust that your song is actuallya part of this huge symphony
that's happening and we needeach song to stay the way that
(20:15):
it is.
Jenee (20:16):
Yeah, it's really interesting because when you
awaken and then you find likeyour tribe, and then even in
your tribe you start todifferentiate and become more,
you know, in your own luminosityand your own spiritual
leadership.
And I remember when I was incollege choir we would, we would
(20:36):
always like start in our, inour spaces, like alto and
soprano, and then mid likemidway through the season the
conductor would have us mix.
So everybody, you'd be standingnext to a baritone and an alto
and you're like crap, you know,and it's very much like this.
(20:59):
This is like this is theindividuation process that
continues and continues andcontinues to happen.
And it's hard because then yourtribe sort of gets smaller and
smaller and smaller and you'relike where do I feel resonance
and where do I, you know, wherecan I step more and more into my
(21:19):
alignment and not get thrownoff?
And not get thrown off.
And also this does have a lotto do also with spiritual
leadership, you know, and justreally staying true to your own
soul vibration, you know, andthat can make you have to make
decisions in a moment that youknow you're like this doesn't
(21:42):
feel good for me, this doesn'tfeel aligned for me, and then
you know it's not your businesswhat anyone thinks of you and
that's a very it's kind of whatyou're speaking to and that's
like a very hard practice andyou have to continually,
continually.
It's almost like not even yourbusiness what you think of you.
It truly, truly you know it'slike what.
Zia (22:03):
What you think of you.
It truly, truly, you know it'slike what.
What others think of us is afictitious individual that they
have created.
That is more, really, aprojection of their own mind.
Exactly, it's a projection oftheir own inner teacher.
(22:28):
It's a projection of theirshadow, all mixed together and
and it's a projection of their,their higher selves.
Sometimes people can't owntheir own higher self and
they'll put that on you andthey'll worship you because
they're like, you know, you'reso dated out of that and it's
like sorry, I see, you know,yeah, you must be.
(22:51):
You know the goddess incarnate,and I'm like and what in you
needs you to own that in you,the goddess incarnate, you?
know, like that and you know so.
It's like less about, it's lessabout you anyway.
Right.
And I feel like that has been aharder one for me to release.
(23:13):
You know, the opinion of othersand and the subtle asks that I
was asking my soul to chain sothat I could belong, and really
what I've been dancing with isthe sense of belonging comes
(23:35):
from myself to myself.
Yes, when I make room for mysoul and I say you are whole and
perfect, no matter your shape,no matter your color and I'm not
talking about body here, I'mtalking about authentic body,
(24:01):
soul, vibration and shape.
Right Like I would never say toa squirrel what's wrong with
you?
How come you're not like ahummingbird?
Yeah.
Right, we would be like this isa squirrel, it's perfectly
shaped, it's doing perfectlysquirrel things, it's a squirrel
, right.
And then we have a hummingbirdand we're like they're perfectly
(24:23):
hummingbird shaped and they doperfectly hummingbird things,
and we're not trying to get themto be the other.
But when it comes to humans, wedon't realize that we are so
different.
We are almost like differentspecies from one to another.
You know, like the idea of likea snowflake.
You know a snowflake.
(24:44):
Every snowflake is a differentshape, and this is how far we
are completely incomparable,even though our suits look
somewhat yeah, but what'shappening on the inside is like
no, that is, it's like you mightbe from another star galaxy.
You know a whole different souldialect that is completely
(25:07):
unique to the person that's nextto you.
And I feel really like whatwould it be like to stay true to
my soul song and be able to dothat in front of and with anyone
you know?
(25:28):
And this makes me think ofChrist and it makes me think of
Kuan Yin, and it makes me thinkof Ram Dass, and it makes me
think of Yogananda and it makesme think of people who were able
to hold their vibration andtheir channel so powerfully that
(25:51):
they were able to move in andout of the world in all of these
places and spaces and stay trueto that.
Yes.
And we're still talking aboutthe legacies of that.
And we're still talking aboutthe legacies of that and I don't
know if those people came aboutthat and the legacy came first,
or whether they were chasinglegacy.
(26:12):
I don't know.
I have a story that theyweren't chasing legacy.
They were chasing ascension.
Yeah.
And legacy came forward.
Word, but I like you know liketo leave a legacy for the next
generation.
You know what is it like toleave like toe holds and foot
(26:34):
grabs and hand grabs up themountain or carve a pathway
that's smoother up the mountainfor the next generation, for
their spiritual development, andthat feels really important to
me to help them come up.
You know, you know, I'm workingwith my daughter right now and
(26:54):
to help them grow and help themevolve.
And where are youdevelopmentally?
Not not to try to be where I am.
Where are you and who are you?
What is your soul want?
Yeah, and how can I help yoursoul do what it wants in this
life?
Jenee (27:13):
Absolutely, and I feel like some of that, a lot of that
, you know, legacy creation orthe.
You know the, the goddesses andthe gods that you know, that
left a mark, an imprint thatbecomes an archetypal key on
this planet.
A lot of that was throughimmense suffering Look at Kuan
(27:36):
Yin, and that was the brokenvessel.
And then through the deep, deep, deep, deep self-compassion she
created, basically for herself,after being wounded to her core
, she creates so much compassionand love that it overfills her
(27:57):
vessel and pours out into theworld.
You know, and this is the deep,deep alchemy you know, and
there are others that that maybehave gone before us, that have,
I don't want to say, varyingdegrees of suffering, but
they've suffered, and at a levelthat's so, you know, tremendous
(28:17):
, that they can hold that forothers, you know.
So, in a lot of ways itlightens the load for for future
generations, you know, andtheir medicine is, is accessible
to you through all space andtime.
Zia (28:33):
All space and time you know , and it doesn't require that
you take a class and I and Ireally want people to hear this
it doesn't require that you havetraining.
It doesn't require that youtake a class.
It doesn't require that youknow deep philosophical or you
know magic teachings or that youunderstand, you know the
(28:56):
emerald tablets or the adnauseum information that is out
there.
What we know is that so many ofus and there's only one of us
so many of us have been workingthis working and all of that
wisdom goes into a great workingthat we've been working
(29:17):
together and it's accessible tous all.
It's the true cloud right.
It is the thing that we are alltaking, and we're taking these
bits of our workings, and anyone of us can access that it's
your divine right and receiveall of that wisdom from all of
(29:37):
the ascended masters and theirteachings just by opening your
heart to it.
Yeah.
And you can have a guide.
Come and they can teach youright, and so it's like the most
open sourced teaching that canbe.
All it requires is dedicationand a willing heart and
(30:00):
consistency to the practice ofwhatever is alive for you.
Yeah, consistency to thepractice of whatever is alive
for you, whether that's justsitting in meditation, or
whether that's chanting orwhatever lights you up, moving
your body.
You know, do it.
However, I'm always like theweirder the better you know like
, don't judge that I'm.
If your way of talking to God isthis, do it all day long, right
(30:24):
?
Who am I to say?
You know, and and I reallyencourage people and my students
to push past and beyond thelimits of the structure that
you've been working with todiscover the you that really
wants to be to discover the youthat really wants to be.
Jenee (30:48):
Yeah, yeah, you mentioned in the paragraph that you wrote
to me that you knowspirituality like becomes,
sometimes becomes the new ladderor the new thing to attain, and
you've noticed that thedifferent ways that we perform
in spiritual identity and I'mjust curious like this is very
much what you're talking aboutand just like how, how we can
(31:11):
kind of unhook from that it,because for me it's just, it's
more of like spiritualmaterialism and also that you
can stay on that wheel and likenever get off and think I'm
never healed and I'm broken.
You can easily get like intothis little bit of a hamster
(31:34):
wheel about that.
You know, I know for me likelike 15, 20 years of you know I
don't regret any of it and likevery grateful for all of it, but
at one point I was like okay ofit and like very grateful for
all of it, but at one point Iwas like okay and I was also
dancing around my core, my corewounding, which is so
interesting because I feel likeeverything that's happening on
the planet right now with youknow all of that, the
(31:55):
astrological bodies comingtogether and the and the sun,
and all all the codes that arecoming in.
It's really forcing people intothe core wound, but but in a
way that doesn't feel as itfeels very supported.
So before I very much wasdancing around that and just was
(32:16):
like, hmm, I can't touch thisfor whatever reason, you know.
And now it's like, okay, I'mdiving in, but it feels like
there's this undercurrent ofjust deep support and love
coming from the cosmos which isvery interesting and from Gaia,
from Mama.
Zia (32:31):
What's coming to my mind as you share that, and I'll then
share a little bit more aboutthe question you asked.
In 2019, I started to have somereally wild phenomenon.
That was like.
I'm still amazed.
You know, I had opened an altarin my home for the first time.
(32:52):
I had always had some sort ofsacred space, but I had a formal
place for my altar and at thetime it was facing West, which I
think maybe is interesting tonote.
But I opened my altar and I wasexperiencing.
I kept calling it like spiritgrand central station.
(33:14):
It would be like all of theselike deities kept coming through
there.
I would watch them.
They would flash through myaltar and they'd be, like, you
know, Artemis and Sekhmet, andit was a lot of like the
Valkyrie and Thor and Odin, andyou know it was like big, like
(33:34):
energies, and I'm like I don'tknow what is happening.
I closed the altar, you know,like is this?
What am I doing specifically?
Obviously, I was supposed tohold that gate, you know, altar
was tiny and I didn't reallyknow what the hell I'm doing.
I just did it from my heart andin that space I remember going
into a meditation period and atthat altar and my, my guides and
(34:00):
the energy showed me thecollective wound and it was like
this, like gash.
It was like a gash that wentlike kind of like this kind of
shape and and the weird thingwas, I could feel it in my body,
but they were like you feel itin your body, but everyone else
(34:23):
also feels it in their body.
The wound is actually showingin every cell.
The rash.
That tear is actually ineverything.
Wow.
And that it's beenholographically repeating itself
through all of matter, throughall of time space.
Wow.
So they were showing me likethey asked me to clear the
(34:48):
wounds and they asked me to prayto heal the wound, and what I
saw was cause.
I got to the place where I waslike I'm not strong enough, like
they were asking me to do it.
I'm like I'm, I'm, I can't.
This is so big, you know, likeI could feel myself almost like
um breaking down, trying tobring all of my energy to this
(35:08):
wound and being like I couldgive till I'm dead.
Yeah.
And won't be satisfied RightLike.
I don't.
I personally don't have enough,and so I called out for help and
my guides came and they theyspoke and they said you know,
you can't do it on your own.
Yeah.
(35:30):
This is a collective wound, soeveryone has to do this, it has
to be done together, and so Ifeel, you know, and Chiron is
shifting right, like in that isbringing us deeper into our
wound and and, and I would say,maybe not deeper into the wound,
but maybe willing to be with ityeah like willing to finally be
(35:55):
take the band-aid off and belike, oh shit, it's bad yeah
right and to look at it and belike, okay, I can't hide anymore
from the fact that there isthis deep thing that I need to
give attention to now.
Yeah.
It needs my attention and thatis the only thing I need to give
(36:16):
my attention to and heal it forus all.
Right, what I heal in myself, Iheal for you, what you heal in
yourself, you heal for me, andthat becomes.
Maybe it's just like theoutside edges of a cut that
start.
Maybe our little bit is justlike a toot toot yeah it's on
that, you know.
But then everybody does ittogether and we teach other
(36:37):
people how to do it forthemselves yeah and now we're
starting to see like, oh, it'sgetting smaller, you know, and I
think the juxtaposition is likethat work is happening and yet
the world looks like it's gottenmore.
It's like wow, I know.
(36:58):
I'm like is it getting better oris it getting worse?
I can't you know.
Or is it getting worse?
I can't you know.
And the only thing that keepsme centered is that my guides
are constantly like, when I pullcards and when I come into my
deepest heart, the message isalways encouragement, the
(37:21):
message is always hope, and I'mlike it's a good thing I have
cards that tell me that, becauseI swear, if I was using my
natural eyes right now, I wouldnot be able to hold that right.
And so, yeah, I feel like youroriginal question was about the
latter.
Yes, so I feel like for me, andreally what I'm referring to in
(37:50):
this, to in this, is, if youcome to a place in your
spiritual practice where youfeel burnt out, where you feel
exhausted, where you sit down todo whatever your practice is
and you're like I don't want to,I'm going to invite that you do
(38:12):
something different.
Maybe it's not that you'redoing it wrong.
Maybe it's that your soul iswanting you to follow her or him
or them.
And what would it be like tosit down to open up sacred space
(38:34):
with yourself?
Cause to me, that's the goal.
And what happens when you openthat sacred space with yourself?
Yeah.
Right what wants to be, insteadof it becoming like you know,
well, I'm supposed to do 20minutes of this and five minutes
of that and this, and then I'msupposed to go do that, and then
(38:55):
I'm supposed to journal, andthen I'm supposed to you know an
hour of this, and then you know, and then, by the time you're
done, you're like and then youknow, and then, by the time
you're done, you're like okay,you know, but it becomes a to-do
list if you're not careful.
Jenee (39:08):
Yeah, yeah, the temp.
Zia (39:10):
Yeah, and we lose like the connection with ourselves
because it comes, like you said,now we're stuck to this wheel.
Yeah.
And we're like the whole pointis liberation.
Yeah.
Right If it's not liberatingyou.
Think again Right If you don'tfeel liberated.
Yeah.
(39:30):
Then maybe there's somethingelse that needs to happen.
You know like there was a wholeperiod of time where my
spiritual practice involvedgetting in my car during
lockdown.
I would get in my car becauseit was a safe place to scream
because, everybody expects youto have road rage.
Right.
And I would just primal screamat the top of my lungs to the
(39:55):
energy.
Yeah.
The sacred act of the moment,right Was for me to let the
energy out of my body thatsacred act, so that there was
space then for me to be able todrop in deeper.
So it's not a ladder to climb.
(40:15):
And that brings me back to likeintercession, right, or I don't
want that to be a catchphrase,but I want people to think about
am I in my heart?
Yeah.
Is what I'm doing bringing meinto my heart or farther from it
?
Yep.
And that's a really good litmusof what to participate in and
(40:36):
what not to.
Jenee (40:37):
Yeah, and I think there's like that kind of templating
that can happen, especially whenwe're first starting out like
we can cling to that, even whenit starts to feel like, oh, the
wheels feel like they're fallingoff a little.
This doesn't feel quite right,you know.
It's like that's.
That's maybe when it's time tokind of let let go, you know,
and if you don't know what to donext, just try to be with
(40:59):
yourself.
If you've never prayed, maybetry praying to yourself.
Zia (41:04):
It feels resonant to you.
And staying with the body, Ireally feel like there's a lot
that can be garnered from justlistening to the body.
Practice lately is just to besilent and just witness and
(41:27):
listen to the wild undulationsof sensation that happen within
a body and the knowingness thatcomes from that and the
deepening into myself and andnoticing the edges and the
places where I'm like, oh, I'mresistant to that sensation and
I want it to go away.
And you like to get curiousabout it and let my body take me
(41:49):
into something right, which Ican do without having to have
story or words or really doanything but just be with my
body.
Jenee (42:00):
I know you wanted to lead a practice or a meditation.
Yeah.
I feel like we could talk for ahundred hours a hundred hours.
I definitely want to have you,you, back, but let's do this
meditation and then see how our,our time is.
Zia (42:18):
Beautiful.
So, if it feels good, and closeyour eyes or take a soft gaze
and maybe just welcome inwhatever energies feel
supportive to you Maybe yourhigher self, maybe your spirit
(42:47):
team, even if you don't knowtheir names and we're just going
to invite in an intention tojust connect with your soul song
, and I want you to just holdthat loosely.
So I'm just going to say thatand then you can let it go and
it'll be in the vibration andwe're going to start by rubbing
(43:12):
our hands together to form aball of chi, rubbing your hands
together until you feelsomething warm.
And when you're ready, you canopen your palms anywhere from
four to six inches apart.
Just feel the energy betweenyour hands.
(43:37):
And if you don't feel anything,just imagine that you have a
ball in between your hands madeof light.
And I'm going to ask that youimagine that that ball of light
(43:59):
is filled with something likelove or compassion, self-care,
gratitude, whatever word reallyfeels enlivening for you.
And then I want you to turn thehands toward the chest so it's
(44:20):
like you're balancing that ballbetween your heart and your
hands and in this way it's likeyou're feeding your heart.
So I just want you to hold thatthought lightly, like you're
feeding your heart Nourishmentand we're going to keep our
(44:44):
hands here holding this ball andwe're going to add on a breath.
So I want you to just let yourhands hold the ball.
You can let that go with yourconsciousness.
It'll do itself, it'll manageitself.
Use your imagination and enteryour spinal column wherever your
(45:08):
enter is perfect and imaginethat you're moving down through
your spinal column all the waydown to your tailbone.
(45:29):
And then I want you to imaginethat you can send that energy
all the way down through yourlegs and out your feet, down
into Mother Earth, branching outlike the roots of a tree, and
(45:56):
keep expanding your rootsdownward until you find a ball
of light in the center of MotherGaia, a deep wellspring of
(46:20):
nourishment, spring ofnourishment.
And as you approach it, askMother Gaia if you can place
your roots into that underwater,underground river, if you will,
and then just receive whateverGaia gives you, whatever Mother
(46:46):
Earth gives you, and we're goingto receive that by drawing a
breath in and drawing thatenergy through our roots.
So inhale and hold the energyat the heart chakra level.
So hold your breath at theheart and then exhale the energy
(47:17):
back down through your rootsand, on the inhale, drinking
that nourishment from MotherGaia, holding the breath at the
heart and holding the energy atthe heart, allowing the energy
to swirl around the heart chakraand into the heart, and, on
your exhale, breathing it backdown into the earth one more
(47:43):
time, drawing the energy up frommother earth.
Expand and hold it in the heartand exhale it down.
Beautiful.
(48:11):
So we're going to continue toallow that to happen.
It's going to continue to repeatthat, even though we're not
going to do that process, andwe're going to bring our
consciousness now and we'regoing to draw all the energy now
up to the spine.
So, wherever you are in thespine, enter the spinal column
again and imagine your energygoing up, up, up, up, up, all
(48:33):
the way to the top of the crownand then reaching, reaching,
reaching your energy up, yourenergy up, sending that energy
(48:54):
all the way to the central sun,the great central sun it's okay
if you don't know what that isReceiving all of that light
energy from the great centralsun.
And on your inhale, you'regoing to draw that energy down
from the central sun into theheart.
(49:16):
So, taking an inhale, receivingthe light into your heart, and
then hold your breath and exhaleit up and out of the crown
chakra back to the central sun.
Inhale, receive the light ofthe central sun into the heart
(49:53):
and exhale the energy back up.
One last time.
Inhale the light of the centralsun into the heart and hold and
(50:15):
exhale out the crown and we'regoing to bring our hands to the
bottom of the ball.
So it's like we're balancing theball in front of us and we're
going to slowly lift the ball up, lifting the ball up until your
(50:42):
hands come to the top of yourhead, almost like you're holding
it on top of your head and yourarms come out wide like
ballerina arms, but your palmsare up, and then exhale and
press the palms open, spreadingthat ball so that you're
actually putting yourself insideof it, and keep bringing your
(51:05):
hands all the way around youlike they're making a circle,
until they naturally come toyour lap and then flip your
palms up.
Palms are going to be like this,but seated on your lap.
Lift your palms up and thendraw the energy up, slowly, lift
(51:31):
the palms when they come to thetop of your head and float your
hands.
We're just dispersing all ofthis energy through your body
and we're going to stay withthat movement.
When you get to the bottom,your palms come up and you're
dispersing the energy throughthe body, coming upward, and
(51:55):
whenever your palms come to thetop, you rotate them and send
the energy back down.
We'll just do that one moretime, together and again
(52:23):
bringing your hands in front ofthe heart, back where we started
, holding the ball between yourheart and your hands, and maybe
taking a gentle bow to thisenergy that you have created,
(52:44):
and then press the energy intothe heart all the way, receive
it that was really nice.
Jenee (53:16):
That's like a little qigong and universal connection
combo.
Zia (53:27):
Yeah, working with your biodynamic fields of energy.
Jenee (53:33):
I feel so good.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Any final thoughts?
There's a lot more I think wecould have gotten into.
There was a lot more I think wecould have gotten into.
Zia (53:45):
I think my final thought is remember, it's all about love,
right?
It's literally the only thingthat's worth talking about, and
especially with the energiesthat are so present that create
(54:11):
separation, the only way throughis to love Even that which
seems unlovable.
Yeah, even that which seemsunlovable, yeah.
I have a belief that if we allcould come into love, that would
(54:34):
be it, and it is the answer inmy opinion.
And that doesn't mean that wesit and do nothing, but love
will form action.
Yeah.
Jenee (54:50):
That's beautiful.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome, eternallygrateful for you, thank you.
Part two Two, we'll have that.
Yeah, we'll have that soon.
Part 48.
Yeah, exactly Two, we'll havethat.
Yeah, we'll have that soon.
Zia (55:06):
Part 48.
Jenee (55:07):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
All right, sister.
Thank you so much Welcome.
The Heartlight Sessions podcastis executive produced and
hosted by me, janae Halstead.
It's edited, mixed and masteredby me too, and that theme song
(55:28):
you hear it's called Heartlightand yep, you guessed it, it's
from my record, disposable Love.
Got questions about a certainhealing modality or about
heart-centered healing, or maybeyou just need some advice on
life, love or creativity.
Send it my way, email me atletters at heartlightpodcastcom.
Until next time, I'm JanaeHalstead, and thanks for
(55:57):
listening to Heartlight Sessions.
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