Gaj Ravichandra: the unusual #1 skill that high performers possess

In episode 51, Mitch Wallis speaks to Gaj, a highly sought-after performance coach recognized for his effective leadership training techniques and passion for helping clients reach higher potential. For over 20 years, Gaj has worked with leading organizations and individuals to enhance productivity, maximize performance, and accelerate growth. As a Registered psychologist, Gaj leans on his psychology training to deliver the most effective evidence-based solutions to his clients that are proven to enhance potential and performance.

This episode covers:

• the unique skill that all high performers possess
• the biggest limiting beliefs that stop people succeeding
• how to move past defeat and into true resilience
• #1 thing you're doing wrong if you want to get promoted
• why all high performers are a little bit f*cked up

Stay connected:

https://kompassconsultancy.com/
www.instagram.com/gajravichandra

www.instagram.com/mitch.wallis

Have feedback to share, questions you want answered or guests you want to see on the show? Get in touch: [e-mail]

Watch the full episode on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/8fRx_64RQR4

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Alright, run it. I wonder what you mean when you
use the word I use the word Idi.Take a break.
We have aversion to ourselves and to what's happening inside

(00:21):
us, inside of us. I've been very interested in
this problem for a long, long time.
Something settles. Welcome back to another episode.
Today's guest is Garage Ravichandra who is a highly

(00:41):
sought after performance coach and he's been in the industry
for over 20 years. He has worked with very large
organisations and individuals, including billionaires and high
net worth families to unlock their performance and maximise
their growth. He leans on this psychology

(01:01):
training as a means of injectingmore of the conscientious EQ
savvy techniques than what is traditionally done in the high
performance space, which can be very clinical and head based.
I like that he brings in a lot of heart.
And if you're someone who's interested in how you go from

(01:23):
well to really well, or if you have big career dreams and goals
and you're looking to dial in every aspect of your performance
and really hack growth, which isa side passion of mine outside
of helping unwell, people will get well.
I think this is the type of episode you wanna listen to

(01:45):
because I ask him questions around what are the main
characteristics, mindsets and behaviours you see as a common
denominator in the most, quote unquote, successful, successful
people in the world. So I hope you enjoyed the
episode. It was an amazing chart.
He came over from Dubai and we recorded this in my living room

(02:08):
at my apartment, which was really fun and a great personal
experience to get to know gosh. So without further ado, here we
go. Gosh, thank you so much for
joining. And I like to start these chats
with one question as a way to kind of dive into discussion.

(02:31):
And that is, what is a opinion about mental health you have
that could be controversial thatyou wholeheartedly believe?
Hmm, there's probably a few. I think one that really struck
me was this idea of this disassociation, this difference

(02:53):
between the mind and the brain. And so the idea that when we
understand that these two thingsare completely different, the
brain is purely a survival mechanism, right?
It's just there to help us to exist, whereas our mind actually
is this thing that allows us to thrive.
And so as we shift from surviving to thriving, it

(03:17):
requires a completely different way of looking at life.
And I think a lot of our mental health issues and particularly
the situations I get exposed to and and you know, the
conversations I have, even in myown life, is when I've shifted
from my mind to my brain. And so that almost that reminder
for me makes a massive difference, right?

(03:39):
OK, I've slid into survival modehere, right?
What do I need to do now to pickmyself back into thriving?
And that requires a different set of constructs.
So the direction you want to go is from brain to mind, Yeah,
Yeah. And would you look at the brain
as like the car and the mind as the driver?
Yeah, I'd look at it as as the engine and and the driver,

(04:00):
right. So the car, the brain is almost
the shell, right. And so you know the brain in
lots of ways is everyone gets the same shell, right, that we
kind of get to look at and you know we've got this, the
horsepower can change because wenow that neuroplasticity is
something that we're all talkingabout, right.
We think we all got the same engine, right?

(04:20):
Well, actually we can change ourengine.
We can upgrade it with differentsoftware and you're at
Microsoft, right, amount of updates that we get.
And the reason for that is we want to keep improving, we want
to keep growing. We want to get rid of the bugs,
right? And so as a result of that, we
can really then start to focus on how do we shift that thinking
to the upgrade piece. And if we're doing that, I think

(04:44):
that's actually where happiness come from.
I'm sure we're going to go down that path today.
But there's this whole thing about, you know, what actually
makes us happy, right? And it's definitely not being in
that survival mode. Let's pull on that thread.
We're there now and and I like starting with big hitting
questions. What is happiness to you?
Is someone who has all the credentials and you know the

(05:07):
clinical side of this, and you also are a human with a brain
and a mind. What is happiness to you?
I think for me happiness is between 2 periods of sadness,
right? And I think it is cyclical and
and it's a bit like saying that everyone can have it all at
once. You know, I've got two

(05:27):
daughters, right, 17 and 14 and a lot of the the dialogue that
seems to be coming up is that women can have it all, right?
Well, men didn't have it all, right?
So the assumption that we can behappy all the time or we can
have it all all the time, I think it's a bit of a fallacy,
right? And so then if we assume that
it's between 2 periods of sadness, then what is happiness,

(05:51):
right? And I think for me, there is
this distinction between feelinghappy, which I think is
transitory, right? And then there is what the Sages
might call bliss, right, which might be a little bit longer,
right? But then there's this thing
called fulfilment, right? And I think a lot of the people
that I work with, whether they're high performance

(06:13):
individuals or leaders, they have goals.
They have tasks and objectives, right, that they need to hit.
That in itself doesn't make you hay, right?
Because I think the secret to the word sits in the word in
fulfilment. It's filling something, right?
So once you fill something, I mean you and I know this, right?
When we achieve a goal, are you done?

(06:35):
That's it? Or have you kind of already
mentally moved on to something else, right, that you're looking
to fill? I think it's the human
condition, particularly of high performers, that we would look
at things that we're trying to fill.
And once we fill it, then actually we might have momentary
happiness, right? So yeah, happiness.
And then we kind of move forward, right?

(06:56):
On to the next sort of thing. I've often thought to me
happiness is the absence of suffering more than the presence
of joy or insert any emotion. And that's been true in my life,
that the moment I remember that have shaped who I am and that I

(07:18):
kind of cling to, to want to runtoward, is when some type of
pain has been lifted, usually emotional.
And it's even with high performers, I notice that it's
the relief of not failing more than it is the attainment of the
getting That is usually the thing that keeps them coming
back. What?
What's your perspective on that?Yeah, it's a good question.

(07:40):
I don't think it's an accident that a lot of high performers
have really challenging backgrounds, right?
And this idea of this fear of failure, which can be this
massive driver, right? I remember in my own life, you
know, my first graduate job, I was given this task of not only
being a young consultant psychologist but also to be in
the sales team. Right now I study psychology.

(08:04):
I know nothing about commerciality or sales, right?
And the reason I was put into that job is because of my
personality profile. The assessor at the time gave me
feedback saying your fear of failure is off the charts,
right. And we know that really strong
salespeople have really strong fear of failure and that's what
pushes them right now. They also gave me this little

(08:27):
piece of advice, which is this nugget that I have held onto for
20 plus years. And it is it is much more fun to
focus on running towards successthan running away from failure.
You get to pick which direction you want to go in right now.
I didn't quite understand it at the time.
I think I was like 2223 years old, right?

(08:47):
But I think just as I was starting to build Compass, you
know, 10 years ago with a few cofounders, it really hit me
that all my life I've been running away from not wanting to
go back to where I was before coming from a young immigrant
family. And we're very fortunate.
We were even a lot of things, but at the same time I knew
there were certain aspects that I didn't want to repeat.

(09:08):
Can you tell me about a I'm about to psych the shit out of
you? Can you tell me about a time
from your childhood, your earliest memory of the impact of
failure? Hmm.
There is one that I was thinkingabout yesterday and it came up

(09:28):
on this concept of people pleasing and it was linked to
failure. I remember my year seven report
card and you know, coming from ayoung immigrant family, one of
the things that we are really forced to focus on, I come from
a Sri Lankan background are you're great, right?
You're expected to get straight A's and that's it, right?

(09:49):
And so then when you get AB in your report card, that is
actually a sign of failure, right?
And I remember my mum not talking to me for three days,
right? As a result of that, just
disappointed in me, right. But what happened was that she
withdrew affection and so that failure, what it imprinted in my

(10:09):
mind is one of those life anchorpoints, right?
The anchor for me was if I display somebody that is
important to me, they may withdraw affection from me.
And so therefore what do I do? I go through the rest of my life
wanting to please people and make them happy.
My name gauge is short for Gudgeon In it is named after the

(10:32):
God Ganesha, the elephant God. In Hinduism, his job is the
remover of obstacles, right? That's what I do for a living,
right? And so the idea that I've chosen
A profession, and I don't think,and we're talking off air about
this, I don't think things are coincidences, right?
Chosen A profession that kind ofaligns to helping people,

(10:53):
removing OPS tools, making them happy, right?
Pleasing them. I don't think it's an accident
that happened. It's so interesting and such a
powerful story you told about your mum, who I'm sure you've
been able to reconcile as an adult we're.
Doing we have a wonderful. Time and I.
Have wonderful. You have adoration and love for
her. It's our first.

(11:13):
Love you, Mom. Dash loves you, Mama.
And but you know what that also signals to me is you summed it
up well with the people pleasing, but it was also in a
child's brain. If I don't achieve, I will not
get my core need met, which is unconditional love that is like

(11:34):
code red for the brain. The survival hardware that's
going OK for me to survive. What conditions need to be true?
Well, apparently A's need to be true because the the pain,
because we're moved way more to avoid pain than to seek
pleasure. The pain of having my first love

(11:55):
fall out of love with me temporarily, as evidenced by her
behaviour of withdrawal, is too great to the psyche.
So let's orchestrate every waking move for the rest of my
life is top priority to avoid that ever happening again and it
has produced greatness. And I love this topic because

(12:17):
when people say OK, you work in mental health, what part of
that? And I break down my vision and
purpose of changing a billion lives into three pillars
connection, what I call throughput.
So how do we cultivate the best relationships in our life?
Because for me, the connection and relationship is the greatest
protective factor against traumatic experiences in

(12:38):
someone's life. And I don't think we know how to
connect. I think we know how to talk and
connecting is very different. The second is resilience, or
what I would call emotional fortitude.
So when shit happens, how do youget back to neutral?
How do you not want to die? Because I have wanted to die and
I'm very passionate about helping people want to live.
And then the third is high performance.

(12:58):
How do well people stay well andthrive?
And we're going to dive deep into the third one today because
this is your area. Although I can already tell as
an incredibly intelligent person, you could talk to all
three, but why? High performance is so
interesting to me is because it usually borrows from pillars one

(13:18):
and two. As in I haven't seen a super
high performer yet. That's not fucked U in some way.
Seriously. Like, yeah, I don't think Apple
would exist if Steve Jobs wasn'tadopted.
And I have this memory stuck in my head of sitting on Manly
Beach probably like 10 years agotalking to my mate who's like

(13:39):
the most chilled dude in the world.
And I'm like, you know, he he's very into the.
He was surfing a lot and he would wake up and go to work and
come home and he just looks so peaceful.
And I was so fucking jealous. And I'm like, don't you want
more? And he's like, no, this is
awesome. Yeah.
And I was like, how amazing would it be to just live in a

(13:59):
perpetual state of peace? Because it's those who want to
go and quote, unquote, create great things that are often
running away from something versus towards something.
Now you work with high performance for a living.
Is that true? And I think the majority of it,
yes, I think absolutely they have to.

(14:20):
And it's funny because I'm I'm working on a book at the moment
and I was trying to work out what to call it.
Right? And I don't care if anyone takes
this idea because it's knowledgeis ubiquitous, right?
It doesn't really matter, right?I started as a journal, but the
book is called broken. And the reason it's called
broken is because all of us are beautifully broken.
And in the break lies the opportunity for greatness,

(14:42):
right. The problem is that sometimes we
don't acknowledge it right, and we leave it alone.
And so I had to get in touch with my broken parts right into
my break. Now that takes courage.
It's painful, right? But once you get in there, you
can start to uncover some things, like the people
pleasing, right, that I was talking about.

(15:03):
And I realised that it was not really about me, it was about my
mum. That was her way of dealing with
that situation, right? It had very little to do with
me. And so when you start to learn
some of these things, you explore the break.
You can get into greatness. Now when it comes to high
performers, you know, going to your question, most of them are

(15:23):
broken in some way that they actually dig into, right?
So for example, I've got a number of them, I would say come
from very poor to lower middle class backgrounds, right?
And they are driven to make surethey never, ever get to
experience it and their familiesnever get to experience that,
right. So that is a fundamental driver
for them. And through that they're willing

(15:45):
to take risks. They're willing to do things
differently, right? Because they know if they just
do things the way they're meant to do it through the process,
they are not going to bypass thequeue, the lineup of people,
right, that are standing there in front of people, right.
So you have to do some things differently.
You got to take some risks. That requires you to have
accepted that there are some things that perhaps weren't

(16:08):
quite right. Well, and look, I would do a
disservice to those areas, one and two that you mentioned,
right? Because I'm not an expert or
someone who's studied a lot in those fields up to a certain
point, right. And you've had some wonderful
guests who have talked about those things.
I think it's that third piece. The answer is yes, and I think
you need to dig into the break. So this leads me to a question

(16:32):
that I can't wait to hear the answer to.
What quality or characteristic, as best as you could describe,
makes the difference between an individual who breaks and
chooses to roll over and an individual that decides to fill
that hole with gold and become ahigh achiever?

(16:54):
Hmm. Well, from my observations,
there are a few things that cometo mind.
The 1st is around this very, very strong sense of why or
purpose right? The ones who tend to push
through right? The obstacles that everyone has
obstacles in their life, right? Some people tend to stop earlier
than others. If your incentive right, your

(17:16):
drive to be able to push throughand your clarity on why you're
doing this is not very clear, you are more than likely to pull
back. You're not going to go through
those riddles, right? So I think that's the first
thing. Second thing is about how you
manage your energy, right? We hear about burnout a lot,
right? Why is it that super high?

(17:36):
Elite individuals tend not to burn out as much as the average
person, right? There's something going on here,
right when you might hear every now and again of people like
Simone, you know, Bowles, you know, the Olympic gymnast, the
US Olympic gymnast who pulled out of the Olympic Games and
then came back in, you know, midgames.
But it's very rare, right? And part of the reason is kind

(18:00):
of links to this theory that I talk about called the energy
ATM, right, that all of us have an energy ATM that we take
energy from each day, right? And like a normal ATM with cash,
you keep withdrawing, Keep withdrawing.
What happens at the end of the day?
Bankrupt. Bankrupt.
Right. So if you go bankrupt, what do
you do? You get a deposit, right?
So what are you depositing through the day that is allowing

(18:23):
you to withdraw now? If you're not doing things that
enrich your life, if you're not on a purpose, if you're not
clear about where you're going, you are simply withdrawing.
And if you keep withdrawing and you're not depositing, you are
going to go bankrupt. And bankruptcy is the energy
equivalent of burnout, right. And so thinking through that

(18:44):
means you need to, I need to, weneed to be clear about where
we're going and why and managingour energy by filling our days
with things that actually enrichus, right.
That's what a Steve Jobs did. That's what a Bill Gates did.
It's not an accident, right, that they got to where they
were. 50% would be luck. If you talk to a lot of

(19:06):
billionaires, we've got a few, you know, billionaire clients
and they would acknowledge 50% is luck, right?
There are a lot of people who work hard.
There are a lot of people who are intelligent, right?
Why don't they make it right? So luck has to come your way.
But after that, there's effort, but there's also some forms of
intelligence that are required, and we can always talk about
that too. Luck.

(19:27):
I'm so glad you spoke about that.
I want to put a pin in that and come back to it, because I think
as humans we lust for control and we want a mathematical
formula to explain a lot of things in life.
But there's a lot of unexplainable for me that is
God's spirit, like whatever you want to put it on.
But I think for a lot of us it'slike, no, there has to be a

(19:48):
formula to get there. Yeah, there's a shit tonne of
wind behind some people that others don't include, including
privilege by the way, that's a that's a tailwind or headwind
depending on how you want to a tailwind, it moves you forward.
That we don't recognise enough. But to come back to your point
around this brokenness and why people would choose to fill it

(20:13):
with gold versus shrink, I agreethat it has a lot to do with the
why. It has a lot to do with how we
transmute pain into into purposeand how we regulate our energy.

(20:35):
It's interesting you said the one of the greatest shifts
you've ever made is going from running away from pain to
actually running towards success.
Uh, so which is the better option?
Because you also said that the the why of a lot of people is
not to be broke. Yeah, versus to become rich.
So should we run away from pain or should we run towards

(20:56):
success? I don't know.
Some people might hate me sayingthis, but I I think you should
have access to both. I think they're so super
powerful in their own way. So the idea that you might fail,
I think is a wonderful motivator, right?
The idea that you could be successful and change the lives
of people that impact the communities that you live in is

(21:17):
super motivating and inspiring, right?
Why wouldn't we want to tap intoboth, right?
And so I think when we come fromthose places, it's about how do
we control, right, the impact that those two forces have on
us. And I think when we start to
learn how to do that and we really practise that, magic
starts to happen, right? Because you can shift, right?
You can go from fear of failure to thriving to success, right?

(21:40):
And you can do that during the day, right?
You can shift depending on projects, depending on clients
you're talking to, depending on podcasts you might have,
whatever it might be. So I think that element of
tapping into both can be really powerful.
I want to get into some of the ingredients that make up for
high performing people, which I'm sure you've spoken about a

(22:01):
million times, but people are listening will be like tell me
what these people have outside of the 50% variable of luck that
makes them get to where they are.
But what I'm also really interested in kind of pulling on
this same thread as failure versus running towards success
is what are some of the key strategies or characteristics
you've seen that offsets the potential negative pitfalls of

(22:25):
achieving success and then just getting to the top of the
mountain and being lonely, depressed, and miserable?
What do we need to do along the way in search of high
performance to make sure that it's sustainable?
And there are a few things that I think are really important and
firstly it comes down to this idea of that happiness is
perhaps a journey and that growth is probably one of the

(22:49):
best ways to achieve it, right? And so therefore, regardless of
where you get to, right, whatever goal that you set for
yourself and you want to achieve, if growth is your
ultimate sort of process, right,that you're using, well, then
you just keep going, right? It doesn't actually stop, right?
So you may help 100 million people or a billion people or

(23:11):
was it 3 billion? One billion, 1 billion,
Fantastic. Why not 3 billion, right.
So And it could be in certain demographics, it could be in
certain age groups, it could be,you know, in in different areas,
right. So I think those kind of things
are about your growth and your approach.
It could be the medium through which you reach people, you
know, is it just virtual or do Iwant to do some large scale

(23:32):
workshops right, with people as well, face to face, right.
So I think having that growth mindset allows you to keep going
and not feeling like there is just this magical point, right?
Because I promise you Mitch, when you get to a billion
people, you're not just going tostop, you're not going to just
get in your sleeping bag. Go, that's it, I'm done, right.

(23:52):
It's not going to happen. So that element of there are
other things that you are going to be leading up to.
You know I've got a a billionaire at the moment I'm
talking to is sort of in his 50s.
He's been very successful, builtthis retail, you know,
conglomerate has, you know, 15,000 employees.
He wants to get to 100 billion, right.
Not in terms of personal wealth,but in terms of his impact that

(24:13):
he's having in the communities across multiple regions, right,
not just one region. And so that is something that
can be super inspiring because it's not just for him, it's
actually helping an entire team of people to grow and develop.
If I can play that back to summarise it and it could be too
reductive, but what I heard was you are set up for failure as a

(24:39):
high performer. If you're KPI is an outcome,
you're set up for success as a high performer.
If you're KPI is growth percentage because growth seems
like it's something that never has to end and I think a high
performer's worst nightmare is nothing to chase.
So it sounds like, and I think this would be hardest probably

(24:59):
for athletes because their body doesn't give them a chance to
grow. Are you gonna reach an expiry
period? And unless you have a why that
transcends just your sport, you can't keep that metric fed,
which is I need to be 1% better every day and that that one for
for progress. Yeah, that really resonates

(25:21):
because I'm just thinking about my high performer friends as
well, is that I know I I watchedthem and I'm like, you're gonna
hate what you're looking for. And it's not going to be what
you think it is unless what you're looking for is growing,
because you can always find something to grow in, but you're
always fail. If there is a flag in the sand

(25:43):
moment which is like I did it, would you agree with?
That, yeah. And I think that's where that
fulfilment piece comes from. It's fulfilment is a, it's, it's
a cheat, right. It doesn't actually exist.
It's not the reason you're goingto be happy.
And so I think when you, it's good to have goals, right.
You got to have a direction right where you're going.
But don't expect that's going tomake you content or happy.

(26:05):
This is why when people have, you know, in a conversation with
the CEO, recently started, retained this CFO in the bank
and one of the issues that he's got is that this person keeps
coming to them every six months asking for a pay rise rise.
Having a phenomenal amount of impact keeps giving them a pay
rise. But guess what?
Every six months, this person keeps coming back asking for
more money. It never stops, right.

(26:27):
So until we understand what is actually the reason behind all
this, is it a sense of recognition and appreciation?
Is it a kind of role that maybe they want to be given some more
strategic opportunities, Do theywant to be given more
responsibility? That kind of gives them greater
reach and impact and so forth. There'll be other things, right,
that are high performers going to want to need.
Sometimes we don't flag it. We don't ask questions about it.

(26:50):
You don't introspect deep enough, right?
Totally, yeah. The the curiosity around the why
and the need underneath all of the superficial outside world is
is a big mess. Tell me about the the juicy
question. As someone who has exposure to
individuals that are so high performing, most of us in our

(27:14):
lifetimes weren't even come across a billionaire, let alone
sit across the table from one and them trust what you have to
say. And even taking your finances
outside of it, because that doesn't necessarily mean that
you've performed. There are multiple fields that
High Performance can view themselves in.
Outside of luck, what are three things that you're like?

(27:34):
In my experience, High Performance have this
universally. Um, so mental toughness is one
of them. And so middle toughness for me
is is a great framework. If anyone gets you know, your
listeners, get a chance to have a look at this.
It's created by this company called AQR, based in the UK, and

(27:56):
they've been doing this study for 25 years.
It's the most robust framework around mental toughness that
exists and it looks at these areas, the 4C's confidence,
commitment, challenge and control, right?
So confidence, do I have confidence in my abilities,
right? If I don't know the answer, do I
have confidence I can go find the answer, right?

(28:18):
Then there's also interpersonal confidence, right?
Do I stand up for what I believe?
So if I'm in a room and I've gotinvestors sitting there and
they're kind of hammering me down or aboard or, you know,
employees, am I willing to to toe that line or am I willing to
do something a little bit different, Right.
To speak up, right. Commitment.
I'm willing to do what it takes,right?
This is what we call stickability.

(28:39):
Can I stick to the task until itgets done, regardless of what is
required of Maine? Right time, effort, and whatever
it might be. And also risk.
I'm willing to take risk in thischallenge.
Can I turn a problem into an opportunity?
The most successful people have come across problems like all of
us, right? But they've managed to actually

(29:01):
not just take away the problem or remove the problem.
They flip the problem right froman actual diabolical issue
that's going to potentially makethem bankrupt to actually become
a winning competency or capability for them, right?
That is massive, right in the grand scheme of things.
So having that mindset is reallyhelpful, but one of the most
important in that is control. It is what we call life control.

(29:26):
Do I believe that I'm the bus driver of my destiny or am I a
victim? It's a bit like that internal
locus of control. External locus of control,
right. So if we keep going back to that
sort of life control piece, if Iwake up in the morning and I
believe it's not the economy that's determining whether I'm
successful, right? It's not whether this sponsor on

(29:46):
my podcast is going to sign on the dotted line or not that I'm
going to keep doing this right. I believe in this and I'm going
to push myself right to finding ways I'm going to get creative
right to be able to do this because the answer sits with me
O mental toughness. Those four elements, Super
important. Um, I can go into the others,
but you haven't yet, yeah? Yeah, yeah, I do.

(30:09):
But I want you to keep going because this is super
interesting. The other is around different
forms of intelligence. So I think that the people that
really differentiate themselves have these four forms of
intelligence that I find really interesting.
And I was interviewing a few of these guys, you know, sort of
really successful individuals for this female entrepreneurs

(30:33):
podcast that I was doing a couple of weeks ago.
And and the entrepreneurs are actually based in Lebanon and
Jordan. So obviously there's a lot
happening at the moment with thewar and you know, they wanted
something to kind of lift them. All right.
So I did some interviews to see what does it take to get from a
certain point as a business owner, as a successful person in

(30:54):
a corporate life, whatever it might be, to the next jump,
right? What is involved?
And as I was interviewing people, these intelligences kept
coming up time and time again, and they weren't necessarily
called this, but I kind of put some labels around it.
Most of them, you all know, right?
If not all of them, right? OIQ, obviously, right?
Can you solve problems? Can you find patterns in things?

(31:17):
Right EQ? Of course.
Emotional intelligence. Can I manage my emotions, The
emotions of other people? Q.
Social Intelligence? Can I build a community around
me? Right, A tribe, a group of
people who are willing to come with me on a journey, right?
Not only during the good times but also when I'm down?
Can they support me right? The 4th one is CQ commercial

(31:41):
intelligence, right? Can I take a product or service?
And can I then take that productor service and actually then
take some risks and put some value to it and actually get
people to buy it? Right now, I might be that
product, right? It might be me right.

(32:01):
And that sort of that sense of identity, that sense of value
that you create in yourself or the product or service is super
important. And these individuals had all
four right. Now if for whatever reason some
of those things shifted or changed, they found people
around them who would complementthem in those four
intelligences. It's not that everyone around

(32:24):
them had to have all those four,but they needed to obviously
complement, right. That was really important.
But they all worked on those four intelligences.
They never said they did it. They didn't have some sort of,
you know, structured process that necessarily did that for
them. But when you connect the dots
that those four seem really important.
Wow, OK, so much there. Sorry about that.

(32:47):
I should compartmentalise. I'm tracking.
I'm following Luck, Mental Toughness and Flexible
Intelligence. Under Mental Toughness you've
got 4 pillars. Under Flexible Intelligence,
you've got the four pillars. I think you described it really
well. I think people are hanging on to
all that. Is there a is there a hidden
trait that is probably more surprising to me, like I don't

(33:13):
know, the left handed or something that is like, holy
shit this is an outlier that I would never have expected.
Yeah, they have a freckle on their left thigh, Yeah.
Yeah, you. Visualisation for me comes up a
lot right? So I tend to find and this is
you see this a lot in sport, right?

(33:33):
When you see somebody about to put right or a diver on A10
metre platform dive, it's very easy to see the visualisation
right. But for you and I, in a sort of
corporate world or in a sort of white collar type environment,
the ability to be able to visualise how an interview might
go, right, to rehearse that in your mind, to engage your mind

(33:56):
through the thoughts, the feelings and therefore what
behaviour I'm going to use is really powerful.
And I think the high performers engage in that visualisation
process almost on an hourly basis.
They're constantly thinking through before they are doing
things and it's amazing how muchof that time it takes.

(34:17):
Now here's the interesting part.The research actually tells us
that visualisation is happening in our visual cortex, right in
the our occipital lobe in the back of our brain.
And we have this optic nerve that connects all the way
through. There's research now that shows
us that our mental toughness is connected positively to the how

(34:37):
much we visualise. There is a direct positive
correlation O the more you visually consider an event
something that's about to unfold, the more you are
preparing yourself mentally for what could unfold.
So if something goes wrong, you might have already played that
out in your mind, right? So then you might have some
strategies, some contingency plans, right, that you want to

(34:59):
use. So there's a direct relationship
between your visualisation and your ability to visualise and
your mental toughness. And I thought that was
fascinating. That is fascinating because
essentially what you're doing isyou're priming your biology to
be ready and I can then understand why you become more
resilient as a result of that. And also it's kind of like a

(35:21):
mini exposure therapy in a way. So you're depleting anxiety by
going toward worst case outcome,worst case scenario, and you're
probably inviting in best case scenario through feeling what
it's like before it happens. You know?
That brings me to an interestingtopic which is manifestation.
Do you personally believe based on your own lived experience and

(35:44):
or watching people who are high performers, do you think
manifestation is real? Absolutely.
I've no doubt I've personally experienced it every year, so I
absolutely no doubt about that. And I think there's a couple of
reasons for it. If you were to talk to some
physicists, they would talk about energy fields, right?

(36:04):
If you were to talk to spiritualpeople, they'll talk about other
realms, right, that exist that allow you to be able to do this.
I think it's not an accident that if you look across
discipline, there are way too many people talking about this
that results in these things happening.
I have absolutely seen it happenpersonally in my own life.
Certain projects, people, experiences, things that I

(36:25):
wanted to achieve that have justcome about through me wishing
and working towards it and you have to work towards it, right?
But then actually seeing it cometo life, you know, this idea of
having vision boards, for example.
I've got one upstairs. I'll show you before you.
Leave. Fantastic.
Yeah. So that kind of stuff, right
where you are priming yourself, right to kind of expecting

(36:46):
something to happen, but then also making sure that you ask
yourself what am I doing today that is in alignment to what I'm
visualising. And again, visualising is not an
accident that you're then willing to go further, go
harder, commit to things more toget the outcome.
I remember. So I'm a big believer in
manifestation. Huge, huge, huge and.

(37:08):
I thank God something really awkward.
Yeah. I was like, no, no, Eckhart
toll. I think is good for a bunch of
reasons, but something he said really stuck with me with
manifestation, he said. There are three words that can
summarise manifestation, workingand not working.
And he said it's these 3 words, it is done.

(37:33):
Which essentially means it's notsomething you're thinking about
happening in the future. You have to feel as if it's done
in the present. It's already happened, yeah.
And so there. There's actually two parts to
that which where people can maybe take a learning out of.
It's not thinking in the future,it's feeling in the present.

(37:56):
Because visualisation is one thing, but I think the reason
why visualisation works over thinking is it makes it a body
based experience. Because the universe doesn't
understand language and understands frequency.
And the best way to generate a frequency is through an emotion
and a thought. But it needs to be both.
It needs to be a thought that triggers an emotional response,

(38:20):
and it has to be in the here andnow.
Like, I've never shared this, certainly not in a podcast, but
it feels like the right time. I have a flag in the sand
moment, but I'm also acutely aware that when I plant the flag
in the sand of my high gevent has now happened that that's

(38:43):
it's gonna last for about 4 1/2 minutes and it's going to go.
Which is why my mission and my goal cannot be attained so that
I can keep chasing it. But let's say, for example, my
flag in the sand, which is I sell out Sydney Opera House as a
Speaker. I stand on stage, I transform
every life in there, standing ovation, and I walk down the

(39:09):
front row and there's my mom andI give her a hug and I say we
did it. Thank you for never giving up on
me. I sometimes, when I get off the
train at Martin Place, which is in Sydney for our international
listeners, I'll be walking through Martin Place and I will
literally look around at the buildings as if they were full

(39:30):
Opera House seats. I can tell you who's there.
I can tell you there's a woman in the 14th row with brown hair.
And crunchy. Know what the walkout song is.
I know what I'm wearing. I know what it smells like.
I know what I ate before I got on stage.
It's fucking done. It's done.
I'm just waiting now. Yeah, I'm so convinced.

(39:51):
And I think that comes back to some of the attributes of high
performance you were talking about before that confidence and
belief, and also very cognizant that belief can turn to Nazism
without humility and without knowing that none of this is
actually you. It works through you.
And I'm very. Aware of my many flaws, but in

(40:12):
the areas that I feel like I've got some talent to offer with a
healthy seed of why it's done and I'm more than believe.
And so yeah, for me, the key formanifestation is to feel and
know the. And I think how you know you're

(40:33):
manifested correctly is when it arrives.
There is no surprise, hmm, as towhat it will feel like because
you felt it a million times before.
Thank you for sharing that. That is awesome, right?
And I hope I get to be there in the audience, guys.
It'll be amazing. And what's cool about that,
right, is and as you were, you know, sort of talking there,

(40:54):
man, I was just thinking throughconnecting the dots, right.
And which is these thoughts, right, These beliefs that can be
helpful for you, right. They actually paved the way for
how you feel and then how you behave, right.
This is our cognitive cycle, right?
That that typically takes place.If the behaviour is such that
you are right now behaving in a way that is required, expected

(41:19):
of someone who would be performing at the Opera House
and delivering, right, people see it, yeah, that's what they
observe. And so therefore their
perception of that is the behaviour, right?
They don't get to see what's in your head, right, but they do
get to see what you show. And so that part is really
powerful. So by influencing, by working
backwards, if I want to show people what I'm capable of, I've

(41:42):
got a feel, a certain kind of set of things.
But to feel things, I've got to think them right.
And so therefore controlling thethoughts is the magic.
That's the thing that really makes the difference, right?
That is the magic, and I think there was also magic in what you
said before around the depositing.
A lot of people think that self care is selfish, but you're

(42:03):
talking about that energetic bank account and needing to
invest in it. In your experience, people who
are most likely to burn out. Do you think it's because
they're doing too much output orthey're not giving enough input
to their energy stores? I think burnout is a good
question. I think burnout for me is also
where you spend your focus, right?
So if you're focused just on outputs, you're going to get

(42:25):
amazingly stressed out and anxious, right?
If it's just outcome, outcome, outcome.
These are my sales numbers that I've got to hit at the end of
the year, right? And I've seen people
particularly in sort of commercial sales or in banking
for example, who are just focused so much on their targets
and their, their budgets, they gotta hit that.
They've forgotten this entire journey.
They've got to go through. And I think when they shift

(42:46):
their focus, yes, your targets are there, You've got to have
some sense of focus on those. But what are you going to do day
to day that's going to result inyou getting there, right?
That part is going to be the enriching part.
And if you do that and if you find the things that enrich you,
you're more likely to shine. If you're more likely to shine,
you're more likely to get betteroutcomes, right?

(43:07):
And I talk about this with people in their careers, right?
If you want to get promoted right, act in the job of the
person above you, right? What does that look like?
Because the decisions that are made about your career are made
when you are not in the room, right?
What is in the room is your brand, your presence, your
energy, all of those things, right?
And so that's your behaviour. That's what people see.

(43:29):
So that's what they're going to make decisions on about your
career. So you've got to then show them
those things and you've got to already be reducing the amount
of perceived risk, right, of yougetting that job.
One of the most underrated skills I think of promotion
cycles for anyone at work is learning how to the art and
science of managing up. I've found a lot of people who

(43:53):
excel quickly, know how to manage their stakeholders, know
how to make their stakeholders above them look good, know their
pain points, know how to take away their pain points.
Because like skill is one part of a job.
But unfortunately, the reality is, whether I agree with it or
not, career is also a game, particularly in the corporate
world, and playing the game involves knowing who are the

(44:16):
core stakeholders in the way of or facilitators of my growth.
How do I connect with them and manage up?
What are some limiting beliefs you see in the corporate world
that prevent people from gettingto where they are want to be?

(44:38):
I think one is about feeling this fake ceiling that exists,
right? And I think there's a, you know,
the structures around us deceiveus, right?
They make us think that we can only be at a certain grade or a
certain level. And that's kind of where things
are at, right? But there's, there's promotion
in multiple ways, right? There's vertical promotion,
there's horizontal promotion, right?

(44:59):
Are there other opportunities and experiences that we can be
accumulating as part of our growth, right.
Growth doesn't just have to be vertical.
And so I think when we accept certain things, then that's
really important, right? It's also this idea Michael and
I I kind of think about this in my mind a lot these days.
You know, we live in this VUCA world, right?

(45:21):
Everyone talks about this volatile, uncertain, complex,
ambiguous world, and that makes us feel bany.
And this is freaking business schools with their acronyms.
Lover. Fucking.
So it makes us feel brittle, right?
So fragile, anxious, nonlinear, right?
And I'll get to that. And incomprehensible.
There are many things out of ourcontrol, right?

(45:43):
In a career perspective, we livein a nonlinear world.
And yet in a corporate life, we apply a linear way of thinking.
How does that work right? It doesn't work right.
The ones who tend to have success don't think in a linear
way, right? And so I meet a lot of people
who tell me I'm so frustrated. I've done all the right things,

(46:03):
I've achieved my KPI's and I'm still not getting promoted.
And John over here seems to get promoted.
He does half the work that I do.Well, do you know why that is?
Because he's nonlinear. He doesn't look at the world in
the nonlinear world that you live in, right?
You take the red pill and realise that the matrix actually
is a little bit more complicatedthan.

(46:24):
That so, for those who aren't familiar with the term
nonlinear, how would you describe some nonlinear
behaviours between the person who you just described he does
half the work and is eating the red pill versus the person who's
overworking him scratching theirhead.
Well, I think a lot of that comes down.
There's this one beautiful pieceof research done by Korn Ferry a

(46:46):
couple of years ago that talked about this idea of why people
get promoted. And I think this nonlinear piece
is that 30% of your chance of getting promoted at sort of
middle level roles and above is performance, but 70% are
relationships, right. So a nonlinear way of looking at
the world is not looking at yourperformance, right.

(47:08):
It's about looking at who the people you are impacting around
you and do they trust you right,because their reputations are on
the line when it comes to you. So have you impacted them
positively, Are they on your corner, right.
So that would be one example, right.
The other is about who am I spending time with that I'm
actually positively impacting and I haven't made of mine.

(47:32):
Who is a used to play football for Tottenham and Bayern Munich.
A guy called Alan Nielsen used to play for Denmark, Danish
football player, and he used to have this rule called the one
third rule, right? And this is for sort of high
performers. It's if you want to look at the
world in a nonlinear way, right?And most people would look at

(47:52):
spending most of their time withpeople at their level, right?
Maybe a little bit with people above them, right?
But he said one of the things hedid was he broke it up into
three pieces. He said spent 1/3 of your time
with your peers, 1/3 of your time with people who are of a
lower level or standard or capability to you.
So you're teaching them, You're mentoring them, You're
reinforcing the lessons that youneed to learn and to have.

(48:15):
But 1/3 of your time has got to be spent with people better than
you, right? People You look up to people you
can learn from, right? These mentors and guides and
leaders. And when you start to do that,
that becomes a game changer because you are immediately
getting uplifted through that process, right?
The topic of mentorship seems toalso be a threat in high

(48:36):
performance. A lot of people have this guide
that that helps them navigate and sharper up the hill.
In your experience, can you tellme about a time where someone
you've been coaching, consultingor working with was aided by the
use of a mentor? I can talk about my own

(48:57):
experience, yeah, if that might help.
Yeah. In 2008 when we moved to the
Middle East, moved to a company that had a very toxic culture
and one of the guys that came and actually helped was a guy
called Ian Campbell and he was the became the CEO of that
business. He was an ex Olympian for
Australia in a phenomenal individual. him and I used to

(49:19):
spend hours driving in the car from Dubai to Abu Dhabi, you
know, back in those days. And this is just around the time
of the financial crisis if you remember.
So it's a pretty stressful time during those conversations,
these simple relaying of stories, right, that took place,
the mistakes that he might have made, the kind of things that he

(49:39):
went through Indiana, personal experiences, the regrets that he
had about the time he missed with his sons, right.
All those things were such powerful stories.
I mean, he's still a mentor of mine.
He lives in Melbourne. We still, you know, catch up and
like he comes on, you know, workshops and and sort of comes
in for an hour and rubs people up and heads off, right.

(50:00):
These individuals have a massiveimpact, right?
And I think it's the stories through which I learned how to
solve problems, right? It's the stories through which I
learned how to make some connections, how I started to
make A and this was actually thebiggest lesson I think I got
from Ian was realising that I was sometimes confusing safety

(50:22):
with discomfort, right? So what I was doing was that if
I wanted, I didn't want to try something new.
I was. My brain was tricking me into
thinking that I was going to be unsafe.
I was just uncomfortable, right?I was never unsafe.
It wasn't like a lion, tiger or bear was going to come and find
me. I wasn't in the land of Oz

(50:43):
trying to get, you know, to to the wizard right.
It wasn't going to happen. So I needed to actually make
that distinction, remind myself.And so getting comfortable with
discomfort was one of those big lessons.
And also realising that I'm mostof the time I'm pretty much
safe, right? Very rarely am I unsafe.
But our brain has this wonderfulability.

(51:06):
Again, going back to survival mode, it can deceive us.
So I was jumping from mind to brain and so that was probably
one of the biggest lessons that I took away.
Yeah, one thing. I mean lots of things.
But one thing that stood out forme as you were talking then was
how we often conflate discomfortwith unsafe.

(51:29):
When we're uncomfortable we think the world's about to burn
down and or even awkward. You know, the moment of negative
emotion comes we want to run away from it.
And as I was telling you are fair.
And hopefully my listeners know by now that my life moderate
single most helpful thing has been going toward pain.
And building our tolerance for discomfort is a really key

(51:51):
thing. Other than exposure.
How do you build your tolerance for discomfort?
Meditation. Breathwork.
Yeah I wish I was that patient I'm pretty sure.
I mean look I'm I'm undiagnosed ADHD I'm pretty sure so my brain
is hyper sort of that hyperacuity right to different

(52:14):
things like just jump from moment to moment.
So breath work works to a point meditation is not really worked
for me. 1/3 of people claim thatit doesn't help at all.
Yeah. And so I'm unfortunately, I can
see the benefits of it. Yeah.
But it doesn't necessarily work for me.
So what has worked for me is journaling.

(52:34):
And so writing things down and sort of questioning myself has
been super powerful. And generally just talking, I'm
a, I'm a doer. And so you know that.
Head heart and hands. Right.
So I think. And then I just do.
Right. I'm a deep empath.
And so that was part of the reason of me becoming.
I think a psychologist was was the emotionally connect with

(52:57):
people and create a safe environment for them.
But I have to get things done right?
And so therefore, as long as I'mtalking to people, I'm listening
to them, I'm observing them, I'mwriting things down.
That's how I get to process those things.
Yeah, how about you, mate? What do you do?
I do somatic experiencing, so whenever discomfort comes up I

(53:20):
do a body scan. I feel cause an emotion has to
have a body to exist in and I dissociated most of my life.
I'm only just learning how to feel.
In the last half a decade I go into like let's say it's anger.
I'm like, OK, that's in my chest.
It's a burning sensation. Then I start to describe it and
label it and then I breathe every in breath is like gasoline

(53:43):
to it. I actually try and expand the
feeling and every out breath is like an exhale or exhaust pipe.
And what I've noticed is if I can somatically experience it in
my body in a regulated way without it overflowing, if I
just keep cycling on that it will evaporate.

(54:03):
And that's to me like being in the mental gym.
I'm basically like OK, Rep, Rep Rep bicep curl, bicep curl,
nervous system is in the gym andthen that emotion flushes and
I've just got the I've levelled up again.
That to me has been the thing that has gotten me to stable

(54:24):
ground probably more than any other.
Anything else other than supportive relationships and
learning how to connect. But that through line pulls into
relationships a lot of relationships.
Connection is going toward the hard part instead of talking
about the easy parts. And I want to know if you like.
That was kind of my poster. What's your poster?

(54:48):
What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
Or what's the principle you liveyour life by?
Hmm. I think probably one of the most
important is controlling the controllables, alright.
That is probably the most important.
I think one of the things that Inaturally get caught up in is
becoming anxious over things that are perhaps out of my

(55:09):
control. And so I keep reminding myself,
right, But that is there are a lot of things that are out of my
control that are taking place. And when you're a Co partner of
a Middle Eastern consulting firm, right, and you spend half
your time outside, there are a lot of things that are happening
that you just can't physically be there, you know, to get
involved in. And so you've got to kind of let

(55:32):
go of things. It's been a big lesson for me in
my life, you know, about lettinggo.
And so that has been super helpful for me as I sort of go
on my journey, right, to kind ofbecome a better person.
I call it better person or a more fulfilled or happy or
whatever we want to call it, right.
Even though fulfilment has a particular limit, right, of that
periodic happiness in my sense of the word, yeah.

(55:57):
So I think those kind of things probably are the most resonate
with me. What is one question I asked you
haven't asked you, but you wish I did so far?
You know, I still struggle with the idea that I'm not going to

(56:19):
help enough people. Unfulfilled potential.
Yeah, I feel like there are lotsof things.
And I, you know, I sort of thinkto myself, if I knew what I knew
today and I could go back in time with the people that I was
helping 10 years ago, Oh my God,I feel like I have short changed
those people from 10 years ago, right.

(56:40):
And I'm sure 10 years from now I'm going to look back at this
moment and think, I shortchange Mitch in this conversation, I
could have given him so much more, right.
And I think it's it's those things that it that keeps
driving me to some extent, right, to keep learning and
growing. And I think that's really
important. Um, I I am afraid that I I'm

(57:01):
going to do things that well, things might happen to me that
I'm going that are going to slowme down on that journey, right?
And I have to keep reminding myself about what's in my
control, right, as a result of that.
But there is a fear around that.Maybe that's connected to some
sort of sense of relevance. Am I going to feel relevant to

(57:22):
people? Are people still going to want
to spend some time with me, havethis thing, you know, in a
couple of companies, they call it Gudge time.
So I spent a day and people justbook up their time, right?
And they come and sit with me and talk to me for 45 minutes or
an hour, right, about anything that's happening in their life.
And companies will make this time available, right?
And we can talk about anything, right?
And they walk away. And my goal is to make sure they

(57:44):
are better, right, in whatever sense of the word that is.
As a result of that, can I continue to keep doing that?
Can I become more impactful in how I do that?
I don't want to shortchange people, so it forces me to also
keep learning. These conversations are
uncomfortable. I know I'm safe, right?
I have a face built for radio, right?

(58:05):
So I want to make sure that I can actually make sure that at
least I can have a conversation where you or your listeners
might have some sort of value from what I say.
So I've got to somehow find a way to do that.
There's definitely a shit tonne of value out of this.
I've had a couple of friends in mine as I was asking you
questions this whole time being.I can hear them asking me to ask

(58:27):
the next question almost in my in my brain and a lot of nodding
I think from a lot of listeners as they're going through this.
And I think that's a really niceplace for us to leave it because
we started with the chapter of what is High Performance and I
don't know if that was planned, but really what your biggest
fear is to not grow and that's the the main KPI of performance

(58:50):
that we landed on before is not outcome it is.
You're genius. How did you make that happen?
You were directing this? We.
Just did a 18360. I don't know, fuck, we're going
somewhere. But we have gone places and yeah
it's been really insightful and validating in a way to hear that
some of the things that I'm doing is in the on the right

(59:12):
path because like any high performer where thoroughly
insecure and like any person whoworks in psychology we're here
for a reason because we want to heal our own demons.
And I thank you for sharing someof your insight and
vulnerability with us today, butmost importantly for educating
us on a window of A practise in bringing our best selves to life

(59:39):
that not a lot of people would have would have otherwise had
access to. So guys, I really, really
appreciate it. Where do we find you if we want
to follow you and listen more? So I am on LinkedIn so you can
find me on LinkedIn. I am on Instagram as well,
shadily. I don't think I do a very good

(59:59):
job of Instagram. I had a I'm on TikTok as well,
but I I think LinkedIn and Instagram are probably.
The best You're a LinkedIn top voice.
Where do can you spell it out for us as to how to search your
name? Yeah, just gauge the GAJ and
then Ravi, Chandra, RAVICHANDRA.Perfect.
Yeah. It's been an honour, my friend.

(01:00:20):
Thank you man, and thank you foreverything you do.
I'm just. I'm so impressed.
I don't know how you have the time to do the things you do but
it is. You'll have to give me some
insights into how you. Schedule things.
Just look over there, everyone. Just.
I don't know, shit happens. Mostly because I'm an amazing
team. I think it's another nice thing

(01:00:41):
to pull back on on our interview.
Sorry, call back to in our interviews.
I think surrounding yourself with the right people, a lot of
high performance I see myself included.
Other people help us look good, you know, and I certainly can't
take a lot of credit for any impact that I have, which I hope

(01:01:02):
I do. A fucking ginormous, why yes and
a genuine passion. I was listening to this
interview with Wayne Gretzky last night, who's arguably the
greatest hockey player of all time, who was speaking to my
favourite comedian of all time and.
Who's that, by the way? That OK?
Yeah. Yeah, Absolute Legend and I was

(01:01:26):
Wayne was telling the story where parents would come up to
him and ask how many times a week or how many hours a day
should my son be training in order to become a professional
hockey player. And he basically said to the
parents, if you're asking that, he's not gonna become a
professional hockey player because Wayne said I was so

(01:01:46):
obsessed with it, my parents would have to drag me away from
the ice. It wasn't like, oh, I have to go
practise. This is a disciplined thing.
He would eat, breathe, sleep, hockey.
And for me, I think it's like, how do you have the time?
A lot of it for me is you have to drag me away from this shit.

(01:02:08):
Mental health, psychology. If I have a spare moment, I want
to know more. Awesome.
About the brain, about behaviour, about emotion.
And so an entrepreneurship happens to be a second passion
of mine. So I just so happen to be in my
icky guy, which I know is something that you're very
passionate about as well. But I said this on a podcast a

(01:02:31):
little bit ago. If someone says, well, how do I
start a business or how do I follow my passion?
And I'm like, I mean, it's very harsh to say it in this way, but
don't bother if you're asking because if you really wanted it,
you'd already be in motion. Just fucking do be.
Be so passionate about it that someone has to drag you the fuck

(01:02:51):
away. That is success you will achieve
if that is who you are in a disposition, I believe.
Hmm, well said. That's an awesome way to end.
Yeah, love it. Wish you all the best, man.
Thank you. Looking forward to keeping
connected. Yeah, absolutely.
My emotions have a natural tendency to dissipate unless
they get reinforced. And so if there's more thoughts,

(01:03:13):
more stories, more intentions come along.
So the act of how am I leaving it alone is an act of not act,
adding more stories, adding fuelto it.
So it might not go away in 2 minutes, but it begins to relax
it, participate. And so, rather than being the
person who has to fix it, would become the person who makes
space for the heart, the mind torelax and settle away itself.