July 18, 2025 • 13 mins
When was the last time someone's "well-meaning" doubt made you second-guess yourself? That moment when you share your exciting plans and they respond with cautious concern instead of celebration? These subtle discouragements can derail our boldest dreams if we let them in.
I challenge you to become the intentional gatekeeper of what enters your mental and emotional space. Before absorbing criticism, ask: Would I seek this person's advice on this topic? Have they done what I'm trying to do? Is this conversation worth my energy? Sometimes, the best response to doubt is simply to keep going and let your results speak for themselves. Ready to reclaim your confidence? Listen now.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, it's Laura.
Welcome to this week's Peak ofthe Week.
Before we get into it, I justwant to say thank you, thank you
, thank you, loyal listeners.
You are amazing.
Thank you for always sharingjust what's on your heart,
what's on your mind.
You are awesome.
Also, if you are listening tothis and it is after July 29th,
(00:23):
my first book, shine Brighter,is out.
It is out in the world and Iwould be delighted if you picked
up a copy and, if you love it,buy it for a friend.
Go on Amazon, go on BarnesNoble, go where books are sold,
and you will find Shine Brighter.
The audio version is inproduction and we will keep you
(00:44):
posted when it is ready, becauseI understand I understand those
of you who like to listen likeme, I love listening rather than
the actual physical copy.
Or, if you're really inclined,get the physical copy and the
audio version.
All right, let's get into thisweek's subject.
(01:06):
You are the gatekeeper.
So I was on LinkedIn a few weeksago when I came across
something kind of alarming.
A woman had shared a vulnerableupdate about leaving her
corporate job to start her ownconsulting practice.
She was scared, excited andjust being really just
(01:27):
beautifully honest about theuncertainty ahead.
The public comments were mostlysupportive, but she'd shared in
a follow-up post that someprivate messages and comments
were, shall I say, lessencouraging.
People reaching out withconcern shall I say less
(01:48):
encouraging.
People reaching out withconcern Just want to make sure
you've really thought thisthrough.
Have you considered how toughthe market is right now?
Others offering reality checks?
I hope you have a solidfinancial cushion.
It's so hard to make it as aconsultant these days.
I'm sure you'll figure it out,but wow, I could never take that
kind of risk with my familycounting on me.
(02:10):
I found myself getting heated onbehalf of this friend, but then
something clicked, a phrase amentor shared with me years ago
that I had forgotten about, andthen it just resurfaced.
It is this Don't acceptcriticism from people you
(02:31):
wouldn't seek advice from.
Here's what I've learned afterspending years in rooms with
high achievers.
The people who are quickest tocriticize your bold moves are
usually the ones who have nevermade any.
The colleague who rolls theireyes when you mention wanting
(02:51):
more flexibility?
Check their track record.
Are they living a life that youadmire?
The family member who questionsyour risky career change?
Look closer.
Are they speaking from wisdomor from their own fear of what's
possible, and acquaintance whocalls your vision unrealistic.
(03:14):
Ask yourself when was the lasttime they bet on themselves?
I'm not saying we shoulddismiss all feedback or surround
ourselves with yes people.
However, there's a significantdifference between constructive
input from someone who haswalked a similar path and
(03:38):
unsolicited criticism fromsomeone who has never left their
comfort zone.
You, yes, you, you, you.
You're the gatekeeper of whatgets in.
Two years ago, I was consideringwriting this book, actually,
(03:59):
more than two years ago.
I've been journaling my waythrough my own transformation
and some people said yeah, maybeyou should share some of these
insights.
But every time I sat down toactually start writing, the
internal voices got louder.
The book market is so saturated.
Do you really think you havesomething new to say?
(04:20):
Who are you?
To write a book, you need morecredentials.
You're not ready.
Maybe when you have moreexperience?
For months, I let those voicescreate doubt.
I put off the writing,convinced myself I needed to do
(04:43):
more of something before I'd beready.
Then, during one of my quietmorning moments which, to be
honest, only happens after allthe boys leave the house I heard
something different, a whisperfrom God.
(05:05):
It cut through all the noiseand it was so simple.
It was this is yours to writeNow.
It was like this thing thatjust like viscerally ran through
my body, that divine nudge, andI was like I realized I'd been
(05:28):
treating my own inner criticlike it was some wise advisor.
When really would I go to myfear-based mind for guidance on
my calling?
The answer was a clear no.
The internal voices of doubtand the not you're not enough.
(05:49):
Yet they were not qualified tovote on.
What God placed in my heart andShine Brighter is coming out
this month, and I can tell youwith absolute certainty it would
still be sitting in my journalif I kept listening to voices
(06:09):
that were rooted in fear ratherthan faith.
The advisor test Want to knowif someone's criticism deserves
your attention.
Try the simple filter.
If you were facing a major lifedecision in this area of life,
(06:31):
would you call this person forguidance?
If the answer is yes, listen.
Even if their feedback stings.
There's probably some wisdomthere.
If the answer is no, thank thempolitely for their input and
then release it.
This isn't about arrogance ordismissing everyone who doesn't
(06:52):
agree with you.
It's about protecting yourenergy and your vision from
people who aren't qualified toweigh in.
The person criticizing yourcareer pivot are they living a
career that inspires you?
Be honest.
The family member questioningyour boundaries?
(07:13):
Do they have a healthyrelationship you admire?
Be honest.
The friend dismissing yourbusiness idea have they ever
built something from scratch?
Your gatekeeping job isn't tobe mean or dismissive, it's to
(07:33):
be discerning discernment.
So once I started filteringinput more intentionally,
including my own voices,everything shifted.
So instead of spending hoursreplaying that passive,
aggressive concern fromacquaintances, I focused on
(07:56):
feedback from people whosejudgment I actually trusted.
Instead of letting my own innercritic derail my confidence
with its familiar refrains ofnot ready yet.
I remembered that fear-basedthinking had never built
anything meaningful.
Instead of defending my choicesto people who would never
(08:19):
understand them, I saved thatenergy for the work itself.
The result I made fasterdecisions.
I felt more confident in mydirection.
I stopped second-guessingmyself on opinions.
Now am I human?
Faster decisions I felt moreconfident in my direction.
I stopped second guessingmyself on opinions.
Now am I human Absolutely?
Am I always incrediblydiscerning?
(08:41):
No, this is still a journey.
I am right here with you alongthis journey.
I don't claim to haveeverything figured out, but what
I do know is that when Istopped second guessing myself
on these opinions from voicesthat really weren't qualified to
(09:05):
guide my path, I became thecurator of my own confidence,
and I know what you're thinking.
Okay, okay, laura, this soundsgreat in theory, but what about
the people who we can't avoid,the family members, the close
friends, the colleagues whosejust opinions feel harder to
(09:29):
dismiss?
Here's what I've learned Lovedoesn't equal qualification.
Your parents can love youdeeply and still not understand
your entrepreneurial dreamsbecause they've never been
entrepreneurs, and that's okay.
Your spouse can support youcompletely and still project
(09:51):
their own fears on your boldchoices.
Your best friend can care aboutyou immensely and still give
terrible advice about somethingthat they've never experienced.
Loving someone doesn'tautomatically make them the
right advisor for every area ofyour life.
You can honor them.
(10:11):
You can honor their concern,while still being selective of
which opinions you allow, inwhich opinions you allow to
influence you.
So, if you've been thinkingabout a dream, maybe you've been
hesitating.
Maybe you've been hesitating Achange you've been afraid to
(10:32):
make or a risk that you've beenhesitating.
Maybe you've been hesitating Achange you've been afraid to
make or a risk that you've maybebeen talking yourself out of.
I want you to ask yourself whoare the voices holding you back
and would you actually seektheir advice on this topic?
(10:52):
No-transcript.
Find the people who've walkedsimilar paths.
Seek input from those who facesimilar crossroads.
Listen to voices that come fromexperience, not just opinion.
(11:12):
And remember the biggest riskisn't that you fail, it's that
you'll let the wrong voicesconvince you not to try.
Your dreams do not needanyone's approval.
They just need your courage andwisdom from people who've been
(11:34):
where you're going.
I challenge you this week tobecome the intentional
gatekeeper of what gets intoyour mental and emotional space.
Before you absorb someone'scriticism, ask would I go to
this person for advice on thistopic?
Before you let someone'sskepticism derail your
(11:56):
confidence, ask have they donewhat I'm trying to do?
Before you defend your choicesto someone who will never
understand them, ask is thisconversation worth my energy?
You get to decide whose voicesmatter.
You get to choose whichopinions deserve space in your
(12:19):
head.
You get to be selective aboutwho gets a vote on your dreams.
You are the gatekeeper.
Yes, you, you, you, you, you.
You Use that power wisely.
And that woman on LinkedIn whoshared her career transition
(12:43):
last I checked her consultingbusiness was just whew, she's
off to a great start.
Sometimes, the best response tocriticism is simply to keep
going and let your results speakfor themselves.
Hey, it's Laura.
Welcome to this week's Peak ofthe Week.
Before we get into it, I justwant to say thank you, thank you
, thank you, loyal listeners.
You are amazing.
Thank you for always sharingjust what's on your heart,
what's on your mind.
You are awesome.
Also, if you are listening tothis and it is after July 29th,
(00:23):
my first book, shine Brighter,is out.
It is out in the world and Iwould be delighted if you picked
up a copy and, if you love it,buy it for a friend.
Go on Amazon, go on BarnesNoble, go where books are sold,
and you will find Shine Brighter.
The audio version is inproduction and we will keep you
(00:44):
posted when it is ready, becauseI understand I understand those
of you who like to listen likeme, I love listening rather than
the actual physical copy.
Or, if you're really inclined,get the physical copy and the
audio version.
All right, let's get into thisweek's subject.
(01:06):
You are the gatekeeper.
So I was on LinkedIn a few weeksago when I came across
something kind of alarming.
A woman had shared a vulnerableupdate about leaving her
corporate job to start her ownconsulting practice.
She was scared, excited andjust being really just
(01:27):
beautifully honest about theuncertainty ahead.
The public comments were mostlysupportive, but she'd shared in
a follow-up post that someprivate messages and comments
were, shall I say, lessencouraging.
People reaching out withconcern shall I say less
(01:48):
encouraging.
People reaching out withconcern Just want to make sure
you've really thought thisthrough.
Have you considered how toughthe market is right now?
Others offering reality checks?
I hope you have a solidfinancial cushion.
It's so hard to make it as aconsultant these days.
I'm sure you'll figure it out,but wow, I could never take that
kind of risk with my familycounting on me.
(02:10):
I found myself getting heated onbehalf of this friend, but then
something clicked, a phrase amentor shared with me years ago
that I had forgotten about, andthen it just resurfaced.
It is this Don't acceptcriticism from people you
(02:31):
wouldn't seek advice from.
Here's what I've learned afterspending years in rooms with
high achievers.
The people who are quickest tocriticize your bold moves are
usually the ones who have nevermade any.
The colleague who rolls theireyes when you mention wanting
(02:51):
more flexibility?
Check their track record.
Are they living a life that youadmire?
The family member who questionsyour risky career change?
Look closer.
Are they speaking from wisdomor from their own fear of what's
possible, and acquaintance whocalls your vision unrealistic.
(03:14):
Ask yourself when was the lasttime they bet on themselves?
I'm not saying we shoulddismiss all feedback or surround
ourselves with yes people.
However, there's a significantdifference between constructive
input from someone who haswalked a similar path and
(03:38):
unsolicited criticism fromsomeone who has never left their
comfort zone.
You, yes, you, you, you.
You're the gatekeeper of whatgets in.
Two years ago, I was consideringwriting this book, actually,
(03:59):
more than two years ago.
I've been journaling my waythrough my own transformation
and some people said yeah, maybeyou should share some of these
insights.
But every time I sat down toactually start writing, the
internal voices got louder.
The book market is so saturated.
Do you really think you havesomething new to say?
(04:20):
Who are you?
To write a book, you need morecredentials.
You're not ready.
Maybe when you have moreexperience?
For months, I let those voicescreate doubt.
I put off the writing,convinced myself I needed to do
(04:43):
more of something before I'd beready.
Then, during one of my quietmorning moments which, to be
honest, only happens after allthe boys leave the house I heard
something different, a whisperfrom God.
(05:05):
It cut through all the noiseand it was so simple.
It was this is yours to writeNow.
It was like this thing thatjust like viscerally ran through
my body, that divine nudge, andI was like I realized I'd been
(05:28):
treating my own inner criticlike it was some wise advisor.
When really would I go to myfear-based mind for guidance on
my calling?
The answer was a clear no.
The internal voices of doubtand the not you're not enough.
(05:49):
Yet they were not qualified tovote on.
What God placed in my heart andShine Brighter is coming out
this month, and I can tell youwith absolute certainty it would
still be sitting in my journalif I kept listening to voices
(06:09):
that were rooted in fear ratherthan faith.
The advisor test Want to knowif someone's criticism deserves
your attention.
Try the simple filter.
If you were facing a major lifedecision in this area of life,
(06:31):
would you call this person forguidance?
If the answer is yes, listen.
Even if their feedback stings.
There's probably some wisdomthere.
If the answer is no, thank thempolitely for their input and
then release it.
This isn't about arrogance ordismissing everyone who doesn't
(06:52):
agree with you.
It's about protecting yourenergy and your vision from
people who aren't qualified toweigh in.
The person criticizing yourcareer pivot are they living a
career that inspires you?
Be honest.
The family member questioningyour boundaries?
(07:13):
Do they have a healthyrelationship you admire?
Be honest.
The friend dismissing yourbusiness idea have they ever
built something from scratch?
Your gatekeeping job isn't tobe mean or dismissive, it's to
(07:33):
be discerning discernment.
So once I started filteringinput more intentionally,
including my own voices,everything shifted.
So instead of spending hoursreplaying that passive,
aggressive concern fromacquaintances, I focused on
(07:56):
feedback from people whosejudgment I actually trusted.
Instead of letting my own innercritic derail my confidence
with its familiar refrains ofnot ready yet.
I remembered that fear-basedthinking had never built
anything meaningful.
Instead of defending my choicesto people who would never
(08:19):
understand them, I saved thatenergy for the work itself.
The result I made fasterdecisions.
I felt more confident in mydirection.
I stopped second-guessingmyself on opinions.
Now am I human?
Faster decisions I felt moreconfident in my direction.
I stopped second guessingmyself on opinions.
Now am I human Absolutely?
Am I always incrediblydiscerning?
(08:41):
No, this is still a journey.
I am right here with you alongthis journey.
I don't claim to haveeverything figured out, but what
I do know is that when Istopped second guessing myself
on these opinions from voicesthat really weren't qualified to
(09:05):
guide my path, I became thecurator of my own confidence,
and I know what you're thinking.
Okay, okay, laura, this soundsgreat in theory, but what about
the people who we can't avoid,the family members, the close
friends, the colleagues whosejust opinions feel harder to
(09:29):
dismiss?
Here's what I've learned Lovedoesn't equal qualification.
Your parents can love youdeeply and still not understand
your entrepreneurial dreamsbecause they've never been
entrepreneurs, and that's okay.
Your spouse can support youcompletely and still project
(09:51):
their own fears on your boldchoices.
Your best friend can care aboutyou immensely and still give
terrible advice about somethingthat they've never experienced.
Loving someone doesn'tautomatically make them the
right advisor for every area ofyour life.
You can honor them.
(10:11):
You can honor their concern,while still being selective of
which opinions you allow, inwhich opinions you allow to
influence you.
So, if you've been thinkingabout a dream, maybe you've been
hesitating.
Maybe you've been hesitating Achange you've been afraid to
(10:32):
make or a risk that you've beenhesitating.
Maybe you've been hesitating Achange you've been afraid to
make or a risk that you've maybebeen talking yourself out of.
I want you to ask yourself whoare the voices holding you back
and would you actually seektheir advice on this topic?
(10:52):
No-transcript.
Find the people who've walkedsimilar paths.
Seek input from those who facesimilar crossroads.
Listen to voices that come fromexperience, not just opinion.
(11:12):
And remember the biggest riskisn't that you fail, it's that
you'll let the wrong voicesconvince you not to try.
Your dreams do not needanyone's approval.
They just need your courage andwisdom from people who've been
(11:34):
where you're going.
I challenge you this week tobecome the intentional
gatekeeper of what gets intoyour mental and emotional space.
Before you absorb someone'scriticism, ask would I go to
this person for advice on thistopic?
Before you let someone'sskepticism derail your
(11:56):
confidence, ask have they donewhat I'm trying to do?
Before you defend your choicesto someone who will never
understand them, ask is thisconversation worth my energy?
You get to decide whose voicesmatter.
You get to choose whichopinions deserve space in your
(12:19):
head.
You get to be selective aboutwho gets a vote on your dreams.
You are the gatekeeper.
Yes, you, you, you, you, you.
You Use that power wisely.
And that woman on LinkedIn whoshared her career transition
(12:43):
last I checked her consultingbusiness was just whew, she's
off to a great start.
Sometimes, the best response tocriticism is simply to keep
going and let your results speakfor themselves.
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