How is Gutfeld the #1 Late Night Show in America?

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
["Hello?"
["We're Sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service at this time."
Wait, one more, one more, one more!
Oh no, claps to sync. One, two, three.
That was good. Oh, he was way behind.
No, let's go!
Wait, let's, let's, let's do ten claps in a row,
and then we'll get it in sync, ready?
Okay.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

(00:38):
I think we, I think it sunk. I think we sunk it.
That was actually kind of genius, maybe.
I think, I think that might work.
Maybe we won't have an awful time editing this again.
Brother, this might actually be good.
What if like the screen recording is just perfect,
and all the audio is good, and like we don't have any problems?
I mean, it's been a good day so far. Dante's having a good day.

(01:03):
Yeah, I stopped taking my medication. The lions won. We're great.
Let's go.
Stop taking your medication?
No, I just-
Concerning?
No, I just took a couple of-
We're off our meds and ready to rant today!
We're gonna move on past that one.
No, we don't really take meds.
No, he's, he's embodying his inner Gutfeld today.

(01:25):
We're really excited to tell you about our favorite show, Corey.
Dude, I already love Gutfeld.
I was gonna say I know that Gutfeld has like,
think of the Max Adderall prescription that they gave you.
Yeah, I think that's where you were, I think that's where, yeah.
Yeah, that's what I was getting at with the meds thing.
He's tripping sack on that stuff that Sam Bankman freed,

(01:47):
and all those wackadoodles are all on, you know, all that.
What's that, oh, what's that like super meth that they're all doing?
I don't know, what is it?
SBF, I'm gonna Google it.
SBF.
It's the medication, they like, he got in jail.
It's a patch, and I know it's a patch.
It's like essentially-
It was definitely Adderall, right?
He definitely took Adderall, but he also took-

(02:09):
Well, yeah, I remember that headline, that was funny,
that his lawyers pled for more Adderall for him during the trial.
MSAM? MSAM?
MSAM.
MSAM, well, it says this is for Parkinson's and depression,
but yeah, they would give a stimulant for, I don't know.
Uh-huh.
We are not medical professionals.
I'm just thinking about it actually.
Don't listen to anything we just said.
This is mostly, this is all because, in my opinion, everyone on,

(02:32):
a prerequisite to go on the Greg Gutfeld show, two lines of cocaine,
in my opinion, you gotta do two lines of cocaine to go on the Greg Gutfeld show.
It really is giving that, yeah, I guess I should, I don't know if we even introduced-
Who's Gutfeld?
Oh, look at his shirt!
Peter Thiel is a fed.
You can buy that at HGHH.store.

(02:53):
Always be plugging.
Pfft.
Always plugging.
Yeah, hello, Alphabet Agencies.
I didn't even press that.
I don't think we even introduced anything.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to press that.
No, I think it's perfect.
It's really always accurate.
Anyway, welcome, welcome everyone to episode five of Hello, Alphabet Agencies.

(03:17):
We always thought that we were only a four-hit wonder,
but it turns out we might be five-hit wonders.
Now what?
Maybe six, maybe seven.
Now what?
Then what comes after that eight, nine, ten?
You can't stop us.
Now what?
A million.
Now what?
Six hundred thousand.
We gotta get that now what, too.
I just thought of that.
Now what?

(03:38):
Now what?
We have a lot of additions we need to make to the soundboard.
It will grow, for sure.
Now what?
We'll get a good one.
Best of intentions.
Best of int...
Oh, me too.
I think, yeah, that's what Gutfeld would say if he were on trial for defrauding the American public.

(03:59):
I do believe he would say, I had the best of intentions.
So yeah, let me introduce the man that we're talking about today.
Yeah, who's Greg Gutfeld?
Yeah, we've thrown around the word Gutfeld a lot.
He's a weirdo.
He's a weirdo.
It's Greg Gutfeld.
This is the number one late night show in America.
King of late night.

(04:20):
I need you guys to get that through your heads right now.
Okay, so let's tell the story before we jump into the presentation today.
He considers himself a late night, it's a late night show?
It's like a Fallon?
He considers himself the king of late night.
I was gonna say, think about Jimmy Fallon.
Listen, everybody here has their opinions on Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, right, all the

(04:41):
late night people, but I will say they seem like they're professionals at least.
They know what they're doing, they're good at late night, good at late night.
I don't even know what that means at this point because I don't really give a shit about
late night.
But Jimmy, when you think of late night, I think of like, who is the old guy?
Larry King, right?
Like, hey, what's up, Buster?

(05:02):
How you doing?
Like interviewing people and shit.
And this is Gutfeld, he says he's a late night show.
Larry King, sure.
That's like a talk show, but I think you mean late night.
Oh, what's his name?
Ah, we look good now, let's go.
Now we look even better.
Also, I just want to say the Detroit Lions are headed to the NFC Championship and that
doesn't matter because the NFL is the WWE, but I was pretty excited about it.

(05:25):
Yeah, I'm really excited for you.
I'm wearing the shirt, so.
Dude, Aaron Rodgers made me hate football.
Aaron Rodgers, did you, we're gonna get off topic just for one second.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Speaking of Aaron Rodgers, did you see that, the like, I just got, I don't really listen
to this podcast at all, but it was Daniel Tosh's podcast and it was like an emergency

(05:47):
episode and it was just like an eight minute long rant about Aaron Rodgers.
No, I need to listen to it though.
It's super funny, dude.
And at one point, cause like Aaron Rodgers, was it Jimmy Kimmel?
He called Jimmy Kimmel a pedophile?
Oh yeah, that's, I heard that, yeah.
Yeah, so Aaron Rodgers did that and then Daniel Tosh was like, gun to your head.
If you had to pick who's a pedophile, if you had to say one of these people to decide who's

(06:10):
more likely to be a pedophile.
I mean, all of his accusations are confessions in every instance, always apparently.
Aaron Rodgers?
And apparently everyone, yes.
And apparently everyone is a pedo and involved in a sex trafficking ring, except for me.

(06:32):
I've had a joke with Lisa for like the last 10 years that every single person in the world
is a pedophile except for me.
Because dude, that's what it seems like.
We're just blissfully walking through this world among pedophiles.
And I don't mean that in the fear mongery, like QAnon, like your children are going to
get snatched in the middle of the night by a mysterious masked trafficker type of way.

(06:57):
I mean, it's just like, yeah, there's a lot of creepy people that like really have been
making money off of creepy stuff for a long time.
And it's more prevalent than you think.
And it is not always happening in the way that you think it is.
And that's the little soapbox there.
And I'm convinced John Benet, that was all part, dude, everything is part of these rich

(07:20):
people doing weirdo stuff with children.
Yeah, bro.
It makes sense too.
It's too consistent.
It keeps proving true over and over.
It's not even like a conspiracy.
It's like my theory on it.
This isn't a conspiracy.
It's just kind of like my psychological theory on this is like if you some of these, I mean,

(07:46):
it's like getting the money to me, like it really like exemplifies these like horrible
thoughts.
Money turns every person.
Given enough money, you will turn into a pedophile.
I don't know.
I don't think I'm trying.
I don't think that's what I was trying to say.
But I'm trying to say that I think it takes a certain type of person to forego morals

(08:11):
and just chase money and get into these upper circles.
And to do that, I think there must be a higher likelihood that you're going to entertain
people.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it would basically be a circle.
Yeah.
No.
But the overlap in the Venn diagram is it's like basically I love this is such a funny

(08:39):
joke on our call.
All capitalists are pedophiles confirmed.
That's a good joke.
Cory not busted.
100% not a joke.
This is not satire.
This is not a 100% you have a 401k.
You have to sell your 401k.

(09:02):
Hey, million percent.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Why did all of a sudden go full screen?
Okay.
Go full screen.
Let's go.
Okay.
So what just happened since we don't cut anything in this podcast is on our little
discord call, it wasn't sharing the OBS screen, right?
So we were teeny tiny for Cory and now we're full screen.

(09:25):
Now we're big.
So let's go.
Everyone can eat my.
All right.
So tell me about this guy.
Gut felt the funniest comedian on late night.
So I just want to say before Nicole starts, there is a video.
If you're listening on audio here, there's a video episode and she made a great presentation.
I have not really seen it yet.
I'm we're all be watching it for the first time.

(09:46):
And if you're on the audio and you want to watch the video, you can find that on the YouTube channel.
Let's see.
Which channel is it?
Hot girls have hobbies.
Yep.
So just if you're interested in the presentation and the audio and video or the video and the pictures that go along with it, that's where they're going to be.
And I'm going to let women speak now because I believe women and I let women speak.

(10:07):
And I like that documentary we watched.
I've witnessed other Nicole's slideshows and they are way go.
Fuego.
Thank you, guys.
And also, guys, this is going to be the best episode to edit ever because I'm also going to censor me vaping behind this pillow.
Dude, I was thinking I was like, I'm going to start leaning out of the frame just for the sake of all of us, because we are the editors.

(10:29):
We're amazing.
Social and I just I noticed that with I was posting some tick tock clips and I was like, damn, we are all chieftain vapes in frame.
Take time.
We haven't.
We haven't.
Oh, fuck.
We're too small now.
Oh, yes.
Didn't work.
OK, fuck it.
We'll take it.

(10:50):
We'll stay tiny.
Yeah, that's fine.
The string goes down a little bit, a little bit bigger, a little bit bigger.
Yeah, we can.
You guys don't see us going bigger and smaller, but maybe the editor of this, one of you guys, one of us, maybe when I was dragging the window, I was just singing Roland by Limp Bizkit.
My husband, we were talking about it before we started recording.
It's stuck in my head.

(11:11):
So I was dragging the window.
Just go Roland Roland Roland Roland.
And so now I think it's time for Nicole's presentation on I hit Fred Durs with a lemon.
No, we're not.
Fred Durs not talking about Limp Bizkit yet.
Hold on.
I hit Fred Durs with a lemon at the summer sanitarium tour when they opened for Metallica.

(11:38):
It was like the proudest moment of my life.
I had him from like a hundred feet away with a lemon that was from a drink.
That's so funny.
OK, anyway, moving on.
I love Limp Bizkit.
I think they're funny.
Dude, West Portland is actually really cool.
I like West Portland, except he's probably an eye worker and he probably also does weird stuff to kids because apparently everyone does that.

(12:06):
If anyone's frustrated when I'm talking about Gutfeld yet, I'm going to do a little segment on Limp Bizkit in an episode.
I'm going to talk about how Limp Bizkit is the perfect, the perfect.
It was the perfect white culture in like the least harmful way.
I don't know if that's true or not, so please don't hold me to that.
This is a comedy podcast.
Maybe they suck.
I don't know.
I know nothing about Limp Bizkit.

(12:28):
I think that white people used to have elements of culture that were like not harmful, like corny TV shows.
New metal.
Yeah, it was like unique.
Like 182.
Like Midwest emo.
And I know that all of those guys are like pedophiles and groomers, but the few that aren't, good art.

(12:53):
Good art.
And I think that we lost that when the internet found out about these harmless, these elements of white culture that aren't harmful.
We got embarrassed.
Do you want to know about some elements of white culture that are harmful?
His name is Greg Gutfeld.
Do you guys want to learn about Gutfeld?
Yay.
Okay, so like I was saying probably 15 minutes ago, before I want to jump into this presentation, I actually want us to tell a little story.

(13:22):
And it's about how me and Dante have been stuck in Wisconsin.
Not stuck.
We've chosen to be here, but we did get stuck.
We're in stealth mode.
We did get stuck over the last week due to weather and unforeseen events with my dog.
And we're struggling.
It's been a long week.
But that being said, we really succumbed to just being in the Midwest, Midwest culture.

(13:48):
And with that came our exploration of Fox News.
You know, we've explored Fox News before, of course.
We got to keep tabs on what they're saying in there.
We got to know what's up.
But we stumbled across this show on YouTube.
I don't even, it might have gotten recommended to us because we watch a lot of weird stuff from like, well, if you want the honest truth of why.

(14:09):
I think it got recommended to me because we've been on my YouTube channel.
We've been watching a lot of weird all over the board.
Well, every night we were watching like a different like World War Two documentary or like, like one night we'd like watch one about like Heinrich Himmler and all the shit that he did.
And the next one was about like, why this got recommended.
And so we were just like down like a deep, like Nazi history rabbit hole.

(14:33):
And then it just, and they were like, the next thing is like, hey, you would like Greg Gutfeld by this, like.
Southeast Asian guy who is screen recording Greg Gutfeld on his computer and then uploading it in like 480p or whatever.
I respect small businesses.
And so we, we, if possible, we prefer to stream not on the Fox News official YouTube platform channel, whatever.

(14:56):
We don't want to give them ad revenue, but I'll give this other guy who's, I don't know, just uploading Gutfeld in bad quality.
Oh, yeah.
Watch time.
So, yeah, we started watching, like he said, uploaded.
Actually, should we admit to that, that we watch this?
It's on YouTube.
It's, I don't upload it.
He uploads it.
Anyway, we watched Gutfeld because we were so confused by it.

(15:21):
I was so, well, the thing was, is we saw it for the first time and we were like, this has a lot of views.
Like, is this like a consistently like high watch show or is this just like a viral clip?
Like, what's going on here?
And then we watched an episode and we were like, why did we just watch?
And then we, and then we kept watching episodes because I was like, well, cause like after the first one, cause it was like, cause we watched one of them.

(15:48):
It didn't just like immediately turn into the, like, I won't call it an obsession, but it was a fixation.
It's been a ritual.
You know, like you said, we had to, we had to succumb to Midwest culture.
I like, and I would like watch Ben Shapiro all the time just to like, just to hate watch him, you know, or just like fascinated by him, like trying to figure him out.

(16:09):
I've been so fascinated by the show.
Cause we watched the first one and that was like, that was weird, but like, it felt like it was a one time thing.
Like it felt like I didn't quite think that this was happening five days a week.
Yeah, no, that's what I was like, I didn't understand.
And this was what we saw in average episode. It wasn't even like anything.

(16:30):
And we were like blown away by how gold, like it felt like Saturday night live.
Like I was like, this is a good Saturday night live sketch.
Cause there's some of those.
It truly feels like it is a parody of like what American news has become.
It is like, it's a parody of Fox News.
Well, okay. You know what it is? It is peak like the way they describe like Russian or Kremlin propaganda and then show a news clip.

(16:58):
Like that is, if you were to say American propaganda, like they would flash Gutfeld clips at least in half of it.
Like it's, you'll see when we show you.
A lot of these like same like CIA kind of massage types are also like Kremlin Russian oligarch types.

(17:19):
Like it's just money everyone.
I was going to say because at the end of the day, really what they're all chasing is capital.
And that's why the Kremlin is.
Getting us to be dumb idiots.
Yeah.
Like thirsting for capital and cars and purses and whatever.
And the Kremlin's got bands to offer because they have with all of their oligarchs accumulated a fuck ton of money that they can dole out to people to do their bidding.

(17:48):
And so it's really not that crazy.
Yeah.
Who knows how important propaganda is.
Like he came from the fucking KGB and stuff like, and this is what he does in his country.
Like I think like Tucker Tucker is totally like, you know, Kremlin back.
Like they're all friends.

(18:10):
It's just money.
It's Jackson Hinkle.
Yes, dude.
All of them do with Fox News though.
Yeah, but it's all like Russian backed money.
Yeah.
I was just thinking cool because now Tucker's on Twitter.
So yeah.
And he just interviewed X.
Sorry.
Who did he just interview that I was like it was Tucker interviewed this guy.
That's crazy.

(18:31):
Why would that happen?
Yeah.
What was it?
Wasn't like I would.
It doesn't matter.
I forget.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about Gutfeld?
Yeah, let's go.
I have like 40 slides.
Hit it.
So Tucker Carlson comes when he tastes his in that.
That's all I want to say about Tucker.
Okay.
Thank you for that.
He's on Gutfeld.
He's I'm done now.

(18:54):
Yeah.
We're going to let women speak for a little bit.
Dante is going to count to 200 before he says something else.
And I'm going to finish our little anecdote about Gutfeld.
So moral of the story was just that we've been watching a lot of this show because we were so fascinated by it truly.
Like and we'll show you there's there's a lot of recurring characters because it's like a panelist style show.

(19:20):
And so I just like yeah, fascinated.
That's the only word.
I'm just so confused by everything I'm watching.
And we just couldn't stop watching it.
And now I'm here and I did some research and we're learning about the number one late night show in America, baby.
God bless the USA.
Can you get that patriotic music, Mr. Soundboard Man?

(19:43):
Yeah, you should be on the soundboard more.
Less yap and more sound.
Do you know where it is?
That's your job.
No, you can figure it out.
OK, anyway, so God bless the USA.
This is top for ratings.
There we go.
Where is our oh, there it is.
You dragged my it's not playing.

(20:06):
Huh?
Oh, wait, no, I didn't.
Never mind.
That's the music.
Never mind.
I thought that was like the open for Gutfeld.
I had it on the loop.
I had it looping.
Sorry.
No, it's perfect.
So, yeah, it is really number one.
I'm not lying and just, you know, blown smoke up Greg's ass.
Unfortunately, it is technically number one based on like ratings and viewership right

(20:30):
now.
It is.
And another fun fact here is that a little bit of a reason that probably plays into why
it is number one is they are they were the only late night show that was not affected
by the strikes, the writer strikes because they don't hire WGA writers.

(20:51):
And so they kept trucking along.
And I think just like all the old people were like, well, there's no other late night.
They're just forcing these people to work.
I don't know.
82 hours a week because they don't have any they're not unionized and they're probably
making no benefits from Fox News.

(21:13):
So that's just a fun fact there.
Yeah.
Regardless, though, we'll actually know this fits into our thing because we feel like this
is all I generated.
We've said that many times.
It's not.
No, I know it's not.
But it would be it would be true that they would have no right.
If it was I generated, they would have no writers in the guild because they're really

(21:35):
insightful point.
Thank you, Dante.
So even though, you know, we might think that maybe he just, you know, took some of the
other late night beers.
He's still he has amassed, unfortunately, a lot of viewers over the years.
Two point five million viewers.
This article was in twenty twenty two.
So it's probably more now, honestly.

(21:58):
That's a that's a lot of people watching Greg Gutfeld and like agreeing with him and being
like like I just imagine like I think that's why we were so fascinated by watching it is
because I was like, I can imagine exactly how like I know how he's manipulating people
and appealing to their emotions because I could picture exactly people that are like,

(22:23):
you know, his target audience watching the show going, hell yeah, Greg always says it
like it is.
He's so real.
And it's like I can just see right through it.
It's so manipulative.
And so, yeah.
Oh, Greg, what is that on the screen?
He calls he himself calls himself the king of late night, which we believe is an insult

(22:45):
to the other mid kings of late night.
I don't really have any strong opinions on any of the other ones.
I'm not a huge fan, but we have YouTube.
It's insulting.
If I were like Jimmy Kimmel or Jimmy Fallon, I'd be insulted.
Honestly, this fucking podcast is the.
King of late night.
I'm deeming us the king of late night.
We are recording late at night.
We're recording.

(23:06):
It's 11 o'clock and that's when we're going to be on Greg Gutfeld.
Listen up.
I'm the king of late night.
Yeah.
Nicole's the king of late night, bitch.
So what even is Gutfeld?
Well, if I had to describe it, like Dante said, I would describe it as if Fox News
and SNL had a baby written by AI.
That is truly what this show feels like.

(23:29):
It is just American propaganda for the GOP.
Kremlin propaganda infused in there, which is classic GOP.
It's crazy that Whoopi Goldberg's on this.
Wait, you haven't you haven't changed the slide yet, have you?
I can't.
Oh, I've changed the slide a lot.
Oh, oh, why isn't it?

(23:50):
Yeah. Why isn't it moving there?
Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, guys.
Oh, fuck.
I didn't want to.
We thought our technical difficulties were 20 minutes later.
But yeah, I know the show is just propaganda, American propaganda.
It's very obviously trying to feed on preconceived thoughts and biases that they know their audience

(24:18):
has about certain people and institutions and using that to make more money for themselves
and their network.
And it's really gross.
And yeah, right before we had technical.
Oh, hi, Vulcan.
Vulcan hasn't been feeling very good the last few days.
And he just came and put his whole head on my hand.
And I wish you guys could see him.

(24:39):
He's so sweet.
Right before we had technical difficulties, you were pointing out Whoopi Goldberg in this.
Yeah. So I chose just a couple.
This was like literally the first like couple screenshots I took of Gutfeld when I started
downloading videos.
And it's just like we said, it feels like an SNL sketch.

(25:02):
Like, I don't know.
It feels so beyond parody.
And we're so used to it at this point.
We're like, that's just Fox News.
But I'm like, damn, people are really still like taking this in as like affirmations for their thoughts.
And like they really do like think this shows the shit.

(25:23):
And that's disheartening.
It's really kind of fucking scary.
Yeah.
But we're going to laugh at that.
Ha ha ha ha.
America's funny.
Comedy podcast.
I want to point out that Vulcan went stretched and laid down.
Oh, he's so sweet.
He is so sweet.
So he's OK.
Good boy.
He appears to be fine right now.
Yeah. So let's get just like I said, I think this is just propaganda.

(25:47):
Just a little taste of Gutfeld.
Yeah, this is us.
We transformed it too.
I don't want a taste of Gutfeld.
Thank you.
I know. I know.
And guess let me just say I transformed all of the media that we use.
This is creative transformation.
We're giving commentary on this.
We are.
We're we're goofing and gaffing over the media.

(26:09):
And so I do believe we creatively transformed it.
Anyway, here's a clip of Gutfeld to wet your whistle.
Oh, you people, you people, it's Friday.
And you know what that means.
We give everyone in the audience brain damage.
So that was like I said, I transformed the piece of media.

(26:34):
That is what I believe.
Gutfeld.
Yeah, I made a meme.
Nicole made a meme.
Thank you. I did.
Oh, it's funny.
I give it like a oh, sorry.
We're going again.
No, give me my rating.
Give me my rating before we talk about the view.
Rate my meme.
Raffle.
Oh, I got a raffle out of LOL.

(26:57):
Sixty nine out of nine.
Got him.
Yeah, Gutfeld loves the view.
Like earlier you mentioned.
Yeah, the Whoopi Goldberg in the screenshot.
Like, why would he be talking about Whoopi Goldberg?
It is because he is so goddamn obsessed with talking about the people on the view.
They all are.
Why is everyone on Fox who is obsessed with the view?

(27:19):
OK, I literally feel like maybe it's like Loki.
They both probably benefit from each other.
I think so.
They give each other content to react to.
Like, I feel like all the other does is react to the content from the other networks.
I feel like Loki, they're all just like making money off of it.
Yeah, they're 100 percent friends.

(27:41):
Yeah, Loki.
It feels so dumb and like planted.
And it's like you guys are both honestly annoying like mouthpieces for national news networks.
Yeah, the view is the view just loves, loves it.
They are the only real people in like real life who are like human beings that speak out loud.

(28:05):
And it's just not just comments on the Internet, like the vote blue, no matter who.
True.
They're the only ones who are like truly that way, like them and like Anderson Cooper.
But they get paid for it.
So yeah, it's your job.
Yeah, so he loves the view.
He also loves Hunter Biden.
He talks a lot about.

(28:27):
Honestly, I think it's funny because every time he like throws up a screenshot of an article by Hunter Biden,
I low key just think it like normalizes and humanizes Hunter.
It makes him look so much.
I know. I'm like, so he's kind of like just a defector.
Sitting there with a cig in his mouth.
I don't really.
Taking cocaine to the White House.
Like that's funny as hell.
I don't care.

(28:48):
Getting caught and then just like nothing happened.
That's sick, dude.
Sorry, are you guys trying to make me like him?
I love Hunter.
I think he's awesome.
Dude, Annie Altman, I think she was the one that tweeted this like or maybe she maybe it was to retweet,
but I'm going to give her credit because I think this came from her brain.
It was something along the lines of like go off, Hunter, that resource distribution.

(29:13):
When the article came out about him spending like a hundred K on drippers or something,
she was like, hell yeah, Hunter.
Dude, Jessica says that.
Allocating those resources.
Literally.
Jessica says that she that he was like a regular, regular, regular.
Oh, that's hit the fed flags on that.

(29:36):
We're going to get real deep into that at some point.
Dude, I think that I was just going to.
No, go ahead.
What are you going to say?
I'll let men speak.
I don't care.
That's what happens with the matriarchy. Men are just down to the ground.
Until they're just too sad and scared to speak.

(30:00):
One day we'll get you a men's rights platform.
Sorry, Dante.
All us doing listening to Blink 182.
It's going to be a bunch of white men begging for rights.
I love Blink 182.
You guys have it so hard.
I know.

(30:21):
Yeah.
Well, Gutfeld would believe that too.
I really, I there's some, you know, we'll see it in a second.
He's written a lot of interesting think pieces.
I think he would agree with you guys that white men are under attack and they need help.
They are.
That's way too many Gutfelds.

(30:44):
This was literally, I don't know.
These were from like a couple clips and I just screenshot it every couple seconds.
Like I really wasn't trying to get any weird faces and he's just always given.
No, he's so expressive.
Wait, you know what it looks like?
His eyebrows.
Remember we said they look like Roger's eyebrows.
So I was like, dude, they're giving related or same plastic surgeon.
Brother, either way funny.

(31:06):
I feel like all of them are secretly related and I'm going to lose it when I find out.
I'm doing everyone's family tree.
Nicole already started a whole bunch.
I'm going to do everyone's and you're going to regret it.
You're going to regret ancestry.com guys and ancestry.com.
If you want to hit us up, you know, we'll take a sponsorship.
We use you a lot.
No, I have some screenshots later on from ancestry.

(31:28):
Again, we use it a lot for research.
I believe that Corey's going to make all the family trees though, because like I saw your tick tock today about what was it?
It was like, oh, like tick tock limited my views to 700 or a thousand.
I'll just make a hundred tick tock every day.
And I know what the thing is, like if I said that, I would mean it when I said it, but I would never follow through.

(31:53):
I'm fully confident that if like you truly were like, I need a hundred thousand views a day and I get a thousand views on each video, I will make a hundred tick tock today.
I don't give a shit.
I made like, dude, I can't really admit that I made like 79.
I think the other dude, you kind of are like circumventing shadows and like algorithm suppression because Corey will just make like five accounts and they all have five thousand.

(32:22):
It's awesome.
No, you're like, you're a five person marketing team with all of your.
Thanks guys.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But yeah, anyway, Gutfeld makes a lot of really bad jokes and like to his credit, I know that there's writers and he's not writing these jokes, but he's like really bad at delivering jokes.

(32:44):
Horrible delivery.
It's the worst delivery.
And that's why it's so funny that he's the king of late night.
Right?
Because like the whole thing with the late night host is they're supposed to like have a corny delivery, but it's supposed to be like in deer and you're supposed to like them, I think.
I think that's like the vibe.
Everybody like who likes late night kind of picks.
I don't know if this is true, but it seems like you'd like gravitate towards vibe based.

(33:06):
And yeah, and it's just like his vibe is just like being a fucking asshole.
Yeah, like that's all he's got.
And he's not even a funny asshole.
No, he's just an asshole.
He doesn't even punch down well.
That's like what dumb people think is funny is being an asshole.
He still makes jokes about like Hillary Clinton.
And it's like guys, same.
None of us like, like why are you still acting like everyone on the left is like rooting for Hillary for pres.

(33:32):
Like get a new fucking joke, brother.
I think you're right though.
I think it's the same because HRC, I'm convinced at this point that the Clintons have just been, the Clintons are the exact same like a shortcut taker.
Shortcut takers that Cat Williams is talking about.
You're going to tell me that we don't like them either.
Shut up.

(33:53):
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, but I feel like they're just both like they're both like they're wrapped by the same people.
Massad and they're just like literally to the other two like goofball teams.
Just like, oh, let's you know, they're like the view and gut felt, you know, just throwing.

(34:15):
Yeah, because the other person's in on it.
It's not like they're going to say anything out of hand, out of pocket.
Yeah, they're both financially benefiting.
So they don't care in the long run that it's like brainwashing the American public and dividing the citizens into fighting each other.
But that's what they want.
They want all of us to think that we're on opposite sides from each other when all of us are in the same boat and they are not.

(34:42):
They are not on like they're they're on opposite side from all of us.
So here's a fun fact.
So here's a fun fact.
Oh, fuck, that one's on loop.
All right.
So here's what I was going to do.
I was going to go.
Here's a fun fact.
You're kind of you're kind of getting fancy with the soundboard now you're combining sounds.

(35:04):
I'm going off the rails, baby.
We're the new off the rails.
Fuck H3.
Once we get a green screen, dog, it's fucking over.
Once we get.
Yeah, we're not even home right now.
We're filming this shit in her parents' house in Wisconsin.
We've been in my parents' basement for two months rotting away.
With severe lack of lighting.
We are vitamin D deficient.
There's not even a fucking light on this room.

(35:26):
I'm going to start streaming regularly, too.
And I'm going to convince these guys to start streaming with me at the same fucking time as H3 so that we can snipe all their fans.
Because, dude, so many people I was bitching about H3 the last week and so many people have privately DM me and and like also just commented on my videos and then like, dude, same.

(35:49):
I'm so bummed.
They're such a disappointment.
And now we're like convinced that allegedly not even allegedly.
This is a joke that he was probably.
It's probably either or Bruce is probably Ethan's handler and you know, yeah, no, that's a good joke.
I love that joke on this comedy podcast.
It's too real to be a joke.

(36:11):
But yeah, no, here guys, I got one for you.
Oh, yeah, that's that's Ethan saying your name.
That's awesome.
We'll just ride that cloud.
Cool.
Good job.
You did a good job with that one.
Yeah.
Well, OK, fun fact, I noticed to get to try to get him to talk about Roger.

(36:36):
It was in the heat of Roger's pussy.
And he was OK.
That's what I started.
Yeah, dude, that's when I started getting fed flags from.
I had gotten them before.
Honestly, the more I thought about it, I think I really did only start watching H3 when frenemies happened.
Tricia's entertaining.
I know she's problematic, but goddamn, she's I love Trisha, dude.

(36:58):
I had to choose one person to like trust.
Yeah.
And I think I would choose Trisha.
Trisha, Trisha, I want to collab.
Now, yeah, dude, she's chilling.
I think she's like, I feel like she's going to go up until we want to hear my conspiracy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Want to hear my conspiracy is that I think this is a good joke.
A really funny joke that Moses is Trisha's handler because Moses is Ely's brother and I don't know.

(37:24):
It's a feeling kind of weird.
Negative 100 percent.
That's a good joke.
Funny comedy.
I said negative 100 percent, but confirmed negatively.
Yes.
Yep.
Anyway, Gutfeld.
So once again, I have some creatively transformed clips here of Gutfeld.
It's about two and a half minutes of, like I said, creatively transformed clips.

(37:49):
And I think you'll get a good taste of just his vibe.
Overall, we'll go into after this, you know, a little bit more about who is Greg Gutfeld?
How did he get here?
I'll tell you right now, he's a self-described libertarian.
You know, like Peter Thiel, you know?
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, no, let's watch these clips, guys.

(38:11):
Hey, hey, guys, let's watch these clips.
OK.
All right, leftovers, where I read the jokes we didn't use this weekend.
As always, it's my first time reading them, so if they suck, we'll tar and feather a writer right after the show.
I don't think he's joking.
Yeah.
Push him into the water and watch him drown.
Here we go.

(38:32):
Please be good.
Dude, he's a dumb person.
Sausage maker Johnsonville is recalling more than 42,000 pounds of pork sausage.
Fortunately, authorities were able to track all 42,000 pounds to a single location in New York City.
You, baby.
He loves the view.
Without fail.
Biden spins racist fables as Vivek turns the tables.
I think all those appearances on my show really must have paid off.

(38:55):
Definitely not.
Happy Thursday, everybody.
Bro, Greg, this is...
With all the meritocracy left in this world, the reporter should already be filling out an application as a Walmart greeter.
California has a reparations task force.
And what's their task?
Besides giving government employees something to do between renaming elementary schools after Marxists and handing out syringes.

(39:21):
I can't help but be held accountable for every white person's atrocity.
And it's all about, quote, eliminating disparities.
You know, like the one between people who own small businesses and people who loot small businesses.
Like it's so fun.
What the hell?
They want to get up to 1.2 million to each eligible California resident to make up for their ancestors being enslaved in other states.

(39:44):
Basically replacing policy with Powerball.
How in the world would that even work?
Barack Obama, the son of a slave owner.
You motherfuckers.
Donald Trump, not a descendant of slave owners.
You know the old phrase, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining?
Cory, did you really hear that one?
I think we were talking.
We were laughing too hard.

(40:05):
I'll go back.
Everyone, we need to hear this clip again.
When I saw this today, it fucking sent me.
I couldn't believe he said that.
He's right after Powerball.
Barack Obama, descendant of slave owners.
Donald Trump, not a descendant of slave owners.
You know the old phrase, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining?

(40:26):
The left doesn't even bother to lie anymore.
Now they'll just piss on you and call you a racist for complaining.
Before we go, tickets are available for my book tour.
What a week.
If you're a fan of liberal meltdowns, well kids, this is your Super Bowl wrapped in a World Series with a Stanley Cup chaser.
That's a murderers in the audience.

(40:49):
Oh, that was another one.
We'll play that one again.
It was a clip.
He says there's a lot of murderers in the office audience.
And I was like, oh, little slip.
I think someone in the office has murdered someone.
Someone in the Fox News audience.
Yeah, I hear.
With a Stanley Cup chaser.
They all are complicit in murderers in the office, in the audience.
Yeah, in the office.

(41:10):
Frantic, miserable takes came in hot and heavy.
But you may not notice since these freaks are miserable all the time.
And here's the obvious one sentence explanation.
Guns are in the Constitution, abortion is it.
Sure, I could describe the man who sounds logic, but you'd probably run straight to the cops.
Let's just say he's a really dark skinned white male.

(41:32):
All this sounds no laugh from the audience in America, cutting off little boys genitals because they play with Barbies.
The media still keeps calling him.
It's so bad.
Ah, her.
Ah, she.
But we want.
Proud, loud and proud.
Dude, his title sequence, his end card is six.

(41:54):
I will say that.
It's like the Garfield.
Dude, it is Garfield.
Copy Garfield.
It's literally Garfield.
Oi, pull up Garfield.
That's fucking Garfield.
No, we'll throw up the Garfield picture.
It's supposed to be like Garfield, right?
Probably.
Yeah, because he's a gut-fellow.
Stealing branding too.

(42:15):
No, they can't do.
This is another thing, dude.
These people can't do anything original.
They can't do anything.
Not a single thing.
Like anything.
I'll call it art related.
I forgot.
I saw someone talking about this the other day and it's not a new point, but it's like, no, they can't do anything that's like creative or cool because they've never like thought about any of this shit or like they've never experienced any.

(42:41):
They've never experienced anything like real and like horror, so they can't, they just can't make anything cool.
They just have to copy.
Yeah, they can't even be inspired.
He's just like, no, my name is Garfield.
He had someone at Fox News.
Probably called him Garfield Gutfeel.
Probably Roger Ailes.
And then he was like, no, that's, someone just made it for him and told him that, hey, this is your late night show intro theme.

(43:07):
It was probably Putin.
Some animal.
Oh, Garfield.
He's like funny.
Max Propaganda.
The Americans love Garfield, right?
The point is that I know that he didn't have any, like he didn't give a shit about his intro theme and he didn't even say thank you to the person who made it for him.
For sure.
Well, he said he was going to tar and feather the writers if the jokes were bad and I don't think he was joking.

(43:29):
I have a question for both of you guys.
What's up?
Yeah.
So, Corey first and then Dante, what's the common theme throughout each of the clips we watched?
And I will tell you right away, there's multiple answers.
There's one main answer, but there are other acceptable answers.
So don't think too hard about it.
Well, I was just going to say that every single thing, like this is such a classic, like unfunny people are just mean.

(43:57):
They just think being mean is being funny.
Or that that's all they think is funny, honestly, because they're like sociopaths.
They're sadists.
They're so mean.
They're nuts.
Hatred.
Hatred is a good answer.
Yeah, great answer.
What about you, Dante?
Drugs?
Stimulants?
Yeah, and I know you, he saw the answer before this, so I do know that Dante.

(44:21):
Every accusation.
Probably cocaine.
Cocaine is the main answer here, however, yes, also acceptable answers were hatred, lead poisoning, grifting, lack of moral integrity, knowingly misleading the American public, soulless eyes, causes your fight or flight to kick in, misinformation, and then also, et cetera, because honestly, there could be other things.

(44:46):
But that was most of them, I think, right?
Yeah.
Cool.
Yeah, so who is Greg Gutfeld?
Who the fuck is this guy?
Where did he come from?
Where'd he go?
Where'd he come from?
Gutfeld, I, Joe.
Shut up.
I don't know.
I could not stop singing Cotton Eye Joe last night.
Cotton Eye Joe.
Oh, wait, no.
Every night I'm beefing Cotton Eye Joe.

(45:07):
I've been married long time ago.
Where did you come from?
Where did you go?
Where did you come from?
Cotton Eye Joe.
And I just kept doing, I couldn't stop.
It felt so good in my body.
That shit was popping off the year I was in middle school.
Holy fuck.
We could not wait to do the dance, like do a dance to it.
Go to the dance?
Yeah, the dance.
Oh my God.
The dance.

(45:28):
Sorry.
I'll let women speak.
No.
Don't be sorry for Cotton Eye Joe.
Did you ever like kiss a girl at a dance?
To Cotton Eye Joe.
Well, just at the dance.
Not to Cotton Eye Joe.
I got turned down like twice, for sure.
I have my...
I think I have like a girlfriend at a dance.
I probably got turned down at every middle school dance, yeah.
I had my first kiss at a middle school dance in fifth grade.
That's so sweet.

(45:49):
Mine was at the Fourth of July.
I don't even know.
But I just know that it had, that's so sweet.
I just know that it had, that's sick, dude.
Wait.
Wow, fireworks going on?
That's so cool.
Right after, and then I ran away.
Cory was...
Cory was...
Cory was really real American.
Dude, I literally McLovin' didn't run away.
He's making out with some girl.
I was like, okay, bye.

(46:11):
Toby Keith's song is playing in everyone's...
Midwest.
He's like, the fireworks are going out.
That one, the red, white, and blue one.
Everyone's clapping.
Yeah!
Woo!
Every dog around, you know, one mile radius to have a panic attack.
Yeah.
Anyway, Gregory John Gottfeld.
He was born in 1964.
So, okay, so Greg is 59.

(46:34):
Roger is 58, maybe 59.
No, I don't know.
It's been a second.
I think this is my hot take with no, I have no facts here.
I think that they're friends somehow.
Dude, they are related.
They're related.
That too.
Look at the eyebrows.
Bro.
Bro.
Well, okay.
Like I said, I also do know, I know that Roger has gotten plastic surgery.
And there's no fucking way Greg has it.
And so they could also just have similar plastic surgeons, you know, did like a facelift.

(46:58):
So the eyebrows look similar.
But I will give a hundred dollars to anybody.
Please find us a familial connection.
Give me concrete evidence that they have the same plastic surgeon.
If somebody can find some proof that Roger Clay and Gregory John Gottfeld have the same plastic surgeon, I will Venmo you a hundred dollars.
No questions asked.

(47:19):
Where, where, where's that?
We need that lineup of all the Nazi saboteurs who landed on Long Island.
Bro, I need to compare every single person that we're sus of needs to be compared to that list because dude, I'm telling you, some of those images of those dudes are uncanny spitting images of someone and I can't figure it out.

(47:42):
Like I keep seeing someone's face in those.
I'm like, who is it?
But well, maybe what we'll do, we'll do an episode breaking down that because what we're referencing right now is when there was, I think it was a, it was a submarine of Nazi saboteurs that landed in Florida and got caught and supposedly got executed.

(48:04):
But we have our own theories around that because of, you know, the things we know the CIA was doing with Nazis to harness their powers and rat line them over to America.
And so we'll go into all of the history of that at some point.
But yeah, I think maybe then we can get, yeah, we can get, well, we'll throw them up now also.
So anyone watching right now, it's Klaus, Burner, Teal right there.

(48:28):
Let us know if you see any people in these images that like could help us draw some connections.
Brother.
Sorry.
Continue.
I love that these gifts have just been playing the whole time.
I've been staring at him, bro.
That one where he's like kind of looking up at me, trying to fuck me.
This is great.

(48:49):
Yeah.
Okay.
So it looks like Andy Bernard.
Okay.
Yeah.
Dude.
And especially in the one on the right.
Yeah.
Looks a lot like the burn dog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So these ones, the ones where he looks like he's trying to fuck you.
I think that's from a really recent fluff piece in the New York Times.

(49:11):
You totally went over the fact that he's born on September 12th.
Oh, that's a weird day to be born.
Stop.
Little sus.
Where was Greg on September 11th?
Does anybody know?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway, he's a self-described libertarian.
From 2004 to 2006, he worked as the UK Maxim editor, which is really weird.

(49:36):
And I'll show you in a sec.
Also how he met his wife, who is also a punk wife.
Go ahead and hit that again.
Yep.
He's been on Fox News since 2007.
And this was just a little fun fact I found.
He says he's a punk rock and metal fan.
That's a really important fact about him.
And he doesn't think he's evil.

(49:57):
Do you think he listens to the words?
No, I think he is fueled by the dark energy and not the art.
I think he thinks he's an actor.
Yeah, I think he thinks he's a...
A-list Hollywood celebrity.
He thinks he's an A-list comedian, probably.
Yeah, that too.
I think he thinks he's really edgy and like...
I think he's in the same tier as Crystallia.

(50:20):
Which is not a tier to strive for.
It's a different tier.
It's a different rating system.
Dungeon-list comedian.
Anyway, so recently Mediaite, I don't...
I honestly don't know what the bias level is on this side or anything.
But this is just...
It's more just for comparison sake.

(50:41):
Just to see on this list, in 2023, Greg Gutfeld was ranked above Joe Rogan on the most influential people in media.
Bro!
That's fucking scary!
We know how Joe has already...
Bro, Joe Rogan has all 20...
20 to 30 year old single men in a fucking choke hold.

(51:04):
Oh, it's so...
And Greg has their dads.
Bro, single men, you need to stop looking to these weirdos.
Stop looking to Fresh and Fit and Joe Rogan.
What is wrong with you?
None of these guys know anything more than you guys.
You know a lot more than them.
They're fucking posers.

(51:25):
They're so insecure, bro.
And all the way they act when they're like, you can't...
I don't let my girl talk to anyone.
I take their phone and I go through it.
Brother, that is insecurity.
That is being a pussy boy inside your own body.
Have you guys ever seen the clip of Joe Rogan fucking dunking on Steven Crowder about weed legalization?

(51:49):
No!
It's from a lot...
It's from like back when Rogan...
I love seeing Steven Crowder get dunked on.
Yeah, it was probably from like eight years ago.
Me too.
I feel like this was like 2014, 2015 maybe when Rogan was like not the worst, but he was like starting to get there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But like Steven Crowder was on his show.
I used to like to listen to him sometimes.
He had some interesting guests on.

(52:11):
He really like fell off.
Yeah, and then he turned into a fucking psycho.
He went extremist.
Yeah, he went full grifter.
He used to actually have like a range of guests on.
What if Jamie is his handler?
Jamie's probably his handler.
Jamie's gotta be his handler because who the fuck else would be in that position and be like, okay, fine, I'm gonna be crazy too.

(52:32):
No, he's probably been leading the whole way.
It's a good joke, Cory.
Love jokes on this comedy podcast.
Okay, so Gutfeld pretty influential.
My life is falling apart.
Me too.
No, it's not.
We're kidding.
No, I'm just kidding.
We're kidding.
Jokes.
I'm gonna be the fucking moon, Cory, because we have almost 800 downloads on this podcast now.

(52:57):
Really?
And that's, yeah.
Isn't that amazing?
I love every single person that's listening to this.
I cannot believe there is a single person that wants to listen to this and that makes me so happy because I love the app.
Fuck Greg Gutfeld.
We're gonna have 2.8 million soon.
And then I'm gonna be the king.

(53:18):
I'm already the king of late night.
So, anyway.
And I'm the king of YouTube too.
Fuck you, Mr. Beast.
Yeah, Mr. Beast's gonna go down.
Yeah, you fake ass CIA Psy-Off.
Your numbers are fake.
You're fake, bro.
Your family's fake.
We're gonna figure out how you're related to Roger.
And we're gonna tell everyone.

(53:41):
Another great joke from Cory.
Speaking of Roger, so when you just shouted out the fact that we have 800 downloads.
Yeah.
I think we should make it a point to really do what Roger does.
Cory, you're familiar with how Roger would shout out downloads?
Yeah.
Not downloads, but sorry, I'm kind of woohooed.

(54:02):
He would shout out likes on his TikTok lives.
He'd be like, thank you for 20,000 likes.
Let's get it up to 30,000.
I'm making sure we do that with our downloads too.
But I genuinely, it's not from a flexing point.
It's from a like, I wish I could hug every single one of you.

(54:25):
Thank you.
We truly.
Yeah, that's space on their phone, bro.
Yeah, dude, this is space in their brain.
They download, they're like listening.
Someone's listening to this like driving or like at work.
Hi guys, I hope your work day is going okay.
I hope your drive is safe.
I hope you get to your destination safe.
Do you guys want to go on a journey through the great dark?
You should try it.

(54:46):
Yeah.
Whoa, it made hearts when you put whoa.
Let's go.
This is so cool.
I didn't do it.
I didn't make hearts.
Wait.
Oh, it's OBS that's doing it.
Oh, oh, you're a little streamer boy.
Okay.
I didn't know it did.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.

(55:07):
Okay.
Do you guys want to go through a journey through the Greg Gutfeld archives?
Yeah.
Okay.
I had to, you know, ancestry.com newspapers.com.
We love it.
I found this article from 1996 back in the day when Greg Gutfeld was writing.
Or I think he still writes, but it was more.
He was writing more than Yappin.
And this I just had the headline of this article set me 11 beers a week.

(55:33):
You're an average guy.
And I don't know.
He's, it's just this little piece about the average man and I'm sure there's some, some
weird supremacist shit in there buried.
I'm just not going to look hard enough.
The average man is five foot nine, weighs 172.
Okay.
So I'm five foot eight and I weigh 165.

(55:56):
So I'm less than average.
Are you going to go through each one?
How many pounds of muscle do you have?
Lusus is for Janite it's all right.
Next one.
All right.
So then we also have no answer.
That's a human specimen.
Coward.
Coward.
No, don't, don't.
I'm just saying, I'm just kidding.
Well, I think I was 17.

(56:18):
Nice.
It's a normal age.
Very cool.
Nice.
Nice.
Greg Gutfeld was also the editor in chief of men's health magazine.
And then he got fired.
So that's fun.
What's he too much of a?

(56:40):
Not a man.
He is not the pinnacle of men's health.
And so then he also, like I said, he worked at UK Maxim for a little bit.
And then at Maxim he was, you know, this is, this is a consistency throughout his career
that he's also kind of controversial everywhere he goes.
So it says Greg Gutfeld, the controversial editor of lads mag Maxim lads mag Maxim, who arrived from the US with a reputation as a quote publishing pest has part of company with the magazine after two eventful years in the job.

(57:15):
So, yeah, I don't know.
He's a weirdo.
But while he was at Maxim, he met his wife, Elena Musa, who worked for Russia.
Maxim.
Oh my God.
So here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
Here's what I'm going to say before we go into this.

(57:36):
I don't look at every citizen of Russia and say the common asset.
They love Vladimir Putin.
I can think critically.
Look at her.
However, let me explain some things.
So they met while both working at Maxim.
Greg was already on kind of, you know, he had been a self-described libertarian for a while.
But I think like it showed he was always a little controversial.

(58:01):
I think he was always yapping and saying out of pocket things.
He would have already been someone would have already had their eyes on him, hypothetically, as a potential mouthpiece because he hadn't really, you know, been talking on a news network yet.
At this point, he was more behind the scenes.
But I believe someone could have seen the potential in him for that.

(58:25):
Second, Elena is a Russian model, fashion designer, stylist, photo editor and entrepreneur.
So all of those things.
Yeah, that sounds normal.
However, it's like one of those things where you can't find anything about her family.
Classic.
It's very unclear where this money came from to be a self-funded entrepreneur, highly acclaimed fashion designer.

(58:54):
It really doesn't like make a ton of sense.
Not saying she's not talented or not qualified.
I'm just saying it doesn't really make a ton of sense.
Fascist designer more like.
Got him.
OK, and so here's another weird fact, too, that in 2022, Elena's mother had to be evacuated from Ukraine.

(59:18):
And this was after Greg Gutfeld got into some controversy about his comments about the war in Ukraine, saying that the media was playing it up and that like essentially like Russia's Russia's what Russia was doing wasn't that bad.
It was was the sentiment of what Greg was saying.
But then Elena's mother had to be evacuated from Ukraine, question mark.

(59:43):
And so we don't have time to go into history and discuss why borders might overlap being like because Elena says she's Russian and Russian born.
But her mom was stuck in Ukraine.
There's some history.
And so so just off the dome, I'm not claiming anything, but it's like a little weird to me.

(01:00:04):
I'm thinking I don't know.
It feels like they are very pro Kremlin.
And it didn't seem like they were necessarily like mad that Russia was like reclaiming that territory, reclaiming that territory in Ukraine.
But they were more just like she's like, I just want to get out of here.

(01:00:25):
But they're not like mad about it.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the vibe I'm getting.
Anyway, that's all we're going to say about Elena Musa.
I literally I got on such a rabbit hole looking into stuff about her and it all was very odd.
I did find a couple things in Russian that were a little sus.

(01:00:48):
I just I had to cut off the rabbit hole.
I had to just be like, this is a Fed flag.
Dude, real life.
We did delay taping this episode because you were in a rabbit hole.
I was. I was like, I have to.
I went down a rabbit hole.
I didn't do any of the presentation.
No, I was just looking at ancestry stuff all day.
Real life is the Americans, bro.
It is.

(01:01:09):
They like people.
This is how the whole thing works with like the like it's like spies a lot of the time.
It's like you feel like you put the tin foil hat on when you say that.
But there are spies.
That's a real thing.
It's always like like Madison Cawthorn's like I went to Russia and I met the hottest girl in the world and she really liked me.

(01:01:33):
She just liked me for who I was.
Guys, right?
Jackson Henkel.
It's like are you guys that stupid or are you just that complicit?
Yeah, dude.
Exactly.
And that's it.
It's probably because it's like a beard situation.
You know, like they know what Madison's really into.
We know what he's really into his cousin, apparently.

(01:02:00):
Do you guys see that video of him humping his cousin?
That's true.
I do remember that.
All right, continues.
I got.
Wait, is that the one?
Sorry, is Madison Cawthorn?
I'm just trying to picture who he is.
Is that the young dude in the wheelchair?
Yeah.
That got like, yeah, so he got ousted.
Harassed people.
Yeah.
And then I think he was also so we were talking about this is just a random tangent.

(01:02:26):
I think he.
He wasn't like quite about it in the same way that everyone in Congress potentially is.
Talking about the freaky like.
Sex party.
Word sex party kind of stuff.
Like I feel like he was invited to one of those things or walked into the room and immediately was like.
No.

(01:02:49):
Wait, what the fuck?
He was he had the he had the potential to be a very useful idiot.
Yeah.
But I think he was a little too a little too much of an idiot.
He didn't quite see he couldn't read between the lines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like you could have exposed all of them, but whatever.
Yeah.
Anyway, so then let's.

(01:03:10):
Oh fucking Christ.
So sexual rejection.
Rejection syndrome.
Yeah.
This is sexual rejection syndrome.
Are you a victim?
This was an article posted by Greg Gutfeld when he joined Fox News in 2007.
What an in cell.
Yeah.
I'm going to read a little blurb from it here.
So this is how it starts.

(01:03:31):
Yesterday, as I was walking down Fifth Avenue, I noticed a major health hazard.
A beautiful woman.
As she passed, every single man paused briefly to stare.
Dot, dot, dot.
At her, at her long legs, at her perfect hip to waist ratio.
It didn't matter who the man was either a construction worker, a stockbroker, Anderson

(01:03:53):
Cooper, kidding on that one.
Then I was walking behind a handsomely boyish gentleman.
One of those guys who belongs on a billboard or in my basement.
As we headed down the avenue, not one woman turned her head to look.
Yeah, no, that's that is handsomely boyish.
And he also said he wants to put him in his basement.

(01:04:15):
Bro, I'm telling you, all these dudes are like that.
His wife is a this is a gay man describing a woman like.
Yeah.
What is going on?
And a gay man describing a handsomely boyish gentleman.
John Wayne Gacy.
He's writing that he's going to do a John Wayne Gacy.

(01:04:37):
And this was in 2007.
How old is Greg?
So he's 59.
Someone needs to check his basement right now.
Yeah, right now.
Like 40.
No, he'd be like 40.
Oh, my God, dude.
Yeah.
Someone get in his basement right now.
We need a whistleblower.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's the thing.
This is 2007.
He was 40 whatever years old.

(01:05:00):
You're not that much different between 42 and 59.
Except now we have way more power and money.
And he's like, yeah, exactly.
He's like doing all this shit, not writing about it.
He's probably doing it.
Right.
Dude, someone check his basement.
Stinky breath.
Call the police.
FBI.
FBI.
FBI.

(01:05:21):
Open up.
Yeah, hit the sound.
Which one is it?
FBI.
Open up.
I love that.
That song.
It's called FBI.
Open up right there.
Oh, where's the song?
I know it's not.
It's in our recording.
We'll put it over anyway.
Okay.

(01:05:42):
So yeah.
So sexual rejection syndrome.
Are you a victim?
That was in 2007.
Then we have this from 2010.
Greg Gutfeld wants to build gay bar next to ground zero mosque.
Yeah.
That's the headline.
Probably because he's a massage agent and he wants to go there and see the damage that
they did.
Probably.

(01:06:02):
As a joke.
That's a good joke, Corey.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, so he has this book that was published in 2010 called the Bible of Unspeakable
Truths.
I just can't believe.
I don't believe it's true.
Look at that hairline.
I don't think it's true.
He put that hairline on the front cover of a book.

(01:06:24):
Look at that.
Bold, dude.
That's bold.
Audio podcast listeners, that thing is woof.
I would not do that myself.
No, I'm bald well before that.
What is that shape?
A concave convex?
It goes the wrong way.
I wouldn't do it.
I would just Photoshop it a little bit, honestly, and lie or put a hat on.

(01:06:45):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that.
I'm sorry, Greg.
That was just a little unspeakable truth for you, bud.
He has the evil eyebrows and the.
All right.
Nicole, the floor is yours.
Fucked up eyes.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Those caterpillars.
He's really scary.
Those little nasty bugs.
He is scary.
And during this time, he was hosting Red Eye on Fox News.

(01:07:11):
I'm going to show you guys a clip from it in a second.
It's really just really insightful commentary.
And so because of his success on Red Eye, it landed him on the five on Fox.
So now he's on two shows on Fox.
And then, so yeah, here's here's a little bit of Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld.
Really, really insightful stuff here.
Clearly, this is something that could only happen in.

(01:07:33):
This edit would be so funny if it was like Hassan.
Always to help us out in this discussion, we brought in a studio audience panel.
All right, Bernie.
Yes.
Was the mom wrong?
And even if she was wrong, arrest her or execute her.
Well, you know, I don't know what is happening to this country.

(01:07:57):
We're raising a nation of keywords.
You can't send a kid to the park.
They're going to treat this lady like she's Casey Anthony.
This guy is just a genius.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
Look, if it was a girl, I could understand it.
But if it was a little boy, you got to let him out there.
And I'm just kidding, ladies.
Just a joke.
No, I completely agree with you.
And then we have the yes woman always in the panel.

(01:08:19):
I totally agree with you.
I totally agree with you.
I hate women.
Yes, I also hate myself.
I agree.
Women are names.
I hate myself.
Oh, yeah, this is them saying that they think white lies are good.
I love the font.
It's really helpful.
Thank you.
I'm not even trying to lie anymore.

(01:08:40):
Dude, it's literally marker.
No, babe, I didn't go in.
It's like the Sharpie font from DelFont.com.
Babe, where were you?
I was working late, sweetie.
I'm just grinding my ass off.
You're just not working your secretary.
I'm just a little white lie.
Make the world go round.

(01:09:00):
White doesn't need to know.
What she doesn't want to know won't hurt her.
They love white lies.
They consider lies that are so large and extreme and detrimental.
A white lie is just something you don't want your wife to find out about.
That's all a white lie is.
Inservative men love that.
So he also published this book in 2012 called The Joy of Hate.

(01:09:25):
And The Joy of Hate closes with an insightful and heartfelt tribute to a man the author
greatly admired, Andrew Breitbart.
That guy's a Nazi.
Do you guys know about Andrew Breitbart?
Do you know about Andrew Breitbart, Cory?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
From the Breitbart report, but tell us for the people.
Breitbartness.

(01:09:46):
Yeah, do you?
I don't know his background though.
I just know that he did the Breitbart report and that he was like one of the first dudes
who utilized the internet, really, I feel like, right?
To like go, like he had like a webpage or something that got a bunch of fans, right?
He was posting like a bunch of TMZ type shit, right?

(01:10:10):
Yeah.
I think, so he was running Breitbart, right?
He wrote, what was it, like Breitbart.com, which was really all I know.
And so this is what Ben Shapiro has to say about it, because Ben Shapiro used to work
for Breitbart.
And so think about what Ben Shapiro would think and then think about what he's saying
about Andrew Breitbart.

(01:10:31):
So Ben Shapiro basically got a bad taste in his mouth and left Breitbart News when Steve
Bannon, I believe, was the one that was like taking it over because Steve Bannon eventually,
because I think, yeah, Andrew Breitbart died, it says here in 2012.
That's why he dedicated his book in 2012 to him.

(01:10:51):
Okay, so I think like these kind of guys, so okay, wait, maybe Andrew Breitbart isn't
a Nazi, maybe not.
Yeah, you're quick to call people that, you gotta watch that.
It's a blanket term.
I know it's a comedy podcast.
He might be a Zionist, is he?
That's fair.
Because Ben Shapiro loves him.
Greg Gutfeld loves him and Ben Shapiro got mad when Steve Bannon took over and we know

(01:11:14):
Steve Bannon is not a Zionist.
We know Steve Bannon is a Nazi.
So like actually, Steve Bannon is a Nazi.
But the Zionists and the Nazis have the same cause.
They want the same thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Literally, Israel is like Hitler's wet dream.
Like splitting people up by race is literally exactly what Hitler wanted.

(01:11:38):
So like, yeah, because exactly what he wanted.
Number one, wanted them out of Europe.
Exactly.
And if you don't think that Americans are going to send them, he would just get rid
of them.
And that's what's going to fucking happen here.
If everyone doesn't fucking stop this shit, they're going to start shipping Jewish people
to Israel.

(01:11:58):
Mark my goddamn words.
Ben, within 10 years, dude.
It is absolutely crazy.
The attacks that have come towards people who have, you know, been calling for a cease
to the violence in Gaza and, you know, on behalf of Israel and like that people that

(01:12:21):
have been outspoken about that have been called anti-Semitic and all sorts of things for saying
that they don't want Israel to like exactly what you just described.
It's like we see that aspect of it.
And then it's also the like, we see long-term damage of like, no, what they're doing right

(01:12:41):
now is going to give more fuel to the fire for very hateful people towards the towards
Jewish people than they feel like they have a reason, even though it's like, ah, it's
just all so fucking messy.
And then to be called, yeah, we don't have to get on this whole soapbox.

(01:13:03):
Yeah, no, we don't have time.
No, we don't.
I don't even know how long we've been recording.
Hour and 20 minutes.
It's not that bad.
We're killing it.
We're short right now.
Yeah, let's go.
Anyway, um, yeah, so.
We're a two hour podcast.
Yeah, exactly.
People want two hours.
That's what they're getting.
That's their average commute.
Sorry.

(01:13:23):
It's sad.
It sucks.
Dude, we're the only real people on the internet.
Everyone else is a faker maker.
And they're all fucking feds.
I'm telling you, bro.
I know we don't have time for shit.
My conspiracy theory is that, yeah, they tell us that they tell us that, you know, don't
complain about shit.

(01:13:44):
Don't complain about anything.
Just no one wants to hear it.
It's like, no, we I think we all need to complain way more.
Yeah, I don't know.
All the fucking conservatives have been doing this for years.
All they do is whine and cry and complain until they get their way.
OK, so I'm going to do it.
OK, then I get to do it.
Then I get to do it, too.

(01:14:05):
That's fair.
Anyway, so I was going to I was going to keep adding Greg Gutfeld's books throughout and
then I realized this guy writes a lot of fucking books.
And so here's a list of all his books.
I'm sure you guys all really want to read all of them.
One's called Not Cool, the Hipster Elite and Their War on You.

(01:14:27):
And then we have The Bible of Unspeakable Truths.
We saw that the scorecard at work, the official point system for keeping score on the job,
whatever the fuck that means.
My worst nightmare.
I don't know, dude.
And then the scorecard, the official point system for keeping score in the relationship

(01:14:49):
game.
That's what appears to be the first book he published.
And so that was around.
It was right after that, you know, 11 years a week article.
Well, no, I read that book.
You love.
Oh, and I read it.
Are you keeping score?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Should I read the book?
Are you not keeping score?

(01:15:10):
I've been keeping score this whole time.
I'm like 40 points out of you.
Okay.
So then I found this that I thought was really funny.
The points don't matter.
In 2012, I found this based complex article that I thought was funny and it named one
of Greg Gutfeld's segments on Red Eye as one of it was the second out of a list of 25 of

(01:15:36):
the worst talk show segments.
And I loved that.
Brought me some joy, but it didn't matter.
Oh, trucking on.
Here is the funnest, saddest fact of this.
So you guys saw those clips.
We've heard about Gutfeld's.
You're getting this vibe.
He's getting the drift.
Gutfeld's not a good guy.
We don't like him for a lot of reasons, but he fuck.

(01:15:59):
He was one of the first people to platform Amy Schumer like he catapulted her.
Rat.
Rat.
Fuck this guy.
Fuck you, Greg.
Jokes.
Joke stealing.
Dude, shortcut taker, shortcut taker, shortcut taker, shortcut takers.
Yeah.
So he was like one of the first people, like I said, really platform Amy because he was

(01:16:23):
or she was a regular guest on red eye with Greg Gutfeld.
And obviously when what years and a half.
Well, so this article is in 2015, but this was when he was doing that.
That's crazy.
It was probably more in like 2012.
I can't believe that Amy Schumer was doing Greg Gutfeld show.

(01:16:45):
So they do have something in common.
They're both very unfunny.
Yeah, that's true.
It kind of makes sense.
Yeah, no.
And he was on that red eye or she was on red eye with Greg Gutfeld.
So not the current iteration of Gutfeld that we know and love today, but his first.
But his first gig at Fox.

(01:17:06):
Yeah.
Amy also that's where she springboarded from.
So we can thank Greg Gutfeld for all of Amy Schumer's pussy jokes.
Yeah.
Thank you so much, Greg Gutfeld for bringing us Amy fucking Schumer.
Shout to you by Masad.
Masad.
Probably, dude.

(01:17:26):
And then you were talking about Tucker.
You're talking about Tucker a little bit earlier, Cory.
Yeah, this is, you know, not unexpected.
He obviously was endorsing his good buddy Tucker.
He said if TV news is oatmeal, Tucker's new show is bacon wrapped pork belly deep fried

(01:17:48):
in a bag of prison Cheetos.
That's interesting.
I think it sees me to be a good thing, but it's like.
No, prison Cheetos go hard.
Yeah, but it's like very odd.
Very odd.
I don't know why you said prison Cheetos.
Dude, that's him trying to be funny.
Literally, I just am so confused.
They cannot be funny.

(01:18:08):
They cannot be funny.
Pork belly deep fried in a bag of prison Cheetos.
I would be such a funny conservative.
I could be such a good funny conservative.
Dude, I could grift so hard on Fox News.
I'd be so funny because they'd be like, she's so real and tells the truth.
And I'd be just emitting facts like they do and just rage baiting.

(01:18:29):
But I could do it so much better than that.
I'll start doing it right now.
Yeah, I'm caving to the system.
This is a conservative podcast now.
Fuck it.
Fox News, you need a new show?
We'll be the kings of late night.
I'm grifting.
I'm done.
Seriously.
All it is is heartache on this side of it.
I might as well just get the bag and then leave you losers who are all fighting me and

(01:18:51):
arguing with me all fucking day.
I want you to have healthcare.
We're trying to help you losers.
I want you to get fucking healthcare, you stupid idiot.
Shut up.
Stop fighting with me, you dumbass.
Yeah, and honestly, I mean, a lot of that may be due to the fact that a lot of children

(01:19:11):
have been indoctrinated by people like Greg Gutfeld.
This headline from 2017 reads, Greg Gutfeld is a favorite among Long Island middle schoolers.
That's what I want to hear from a parent of Long Island middle schoolers.
How and why?
Fucking the late night guy at Fox who's telling-
Yeah, they don't have Conan, I guess.
Like, what is, I don't know.

(01:19:34):
And then in 2018, we got Fox News host Greg Gutfeld accuses leftist lynch mob of race
baiting Ron DeSantis and then we also got Greg Gutfeld speaking on Trump's genius.
So yeah, he was just peak, I guess, rage baiting.

(01:19:57):
That's the best word for it.
I don't know.
That's all he ever does.
2019, we have Forbes, our good buddies at Forbes.
Austin Russell wishes he owned Forbes, but he doesn't.
But he fucking doesn't.
Loser.
You know who owns as much Forbes as Austin?
Fucking me.
Me.
Bitch.

(01:20:17):
So Forbes in 2019, yeah, Austin Russell's a fucking loser.
Austin Russell has never, a woman has never gone on a date with Austin Russell for him.
It's always been because they heard he has money.
Yeah, remember how I said-
And then he picks him up in the Audi R8 and the Lidar.
And every girl he's ever gone on a date with has had to text their friend that they're

(01:20:42):
concerned.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, they're like, hey, I'm sharing my location with you.
Just please keep checking it.
If you don't hear from me.
This guy is giving me weird, weird-
Yes, absolutely.
You fucking loser.
So yeah, our good buddies at Forbes, I think they predicted his upcoming rise to fame or

(01:21:05):
they fabricated it or they were mutually benefiting financially from his rise, his artificial
rise to stardom.
Anyway, that's just a joke.
Their headline read is Fox News channels, Greg Gutfeld, the next king of late night
TV.
And what do you know?
They manifested it because he became the unfortunate king of late night TV.

(01:21:28):
In 2019, we also got these headlines that were pretty funny.
John Oliver blast Fox News host for downplaying possible war with Iran, calling it breathtakingly
stupid.
Greg Gutfeld being one of those Fox News hosts.
And then we also have this here.
This is interesting.
We haven't talked about him yet.
Tyrus.
He is a-
Oh, I love Tyrus.
Not really.

(01:21:48):
On the show though.
We love to observe Tyrus.
That's a good way to put it.
I love how you got to, you have to specify.
He's so confused.
Yeah.
You felt obligated to specify and I was just going to let it, let it marinate because this
is fucked up.
And Dante's fucking PR team at, anyway.
You know what I mean.
Tyrus returns to Fox News days after sexual harassment allegations surfaced.

(01:22:09):
And so Tyrus is a, he's a frequent panelist on Gutfeld still to this day.
To be fair, when I made my decision that I love Tyrus, I didn't know this information.
No.
But we also always kind of just love Tyrus.
Also I love Tyrus because he's-
You're so fucking confused, Cyclo.
Tyrus, we don't have to, we maybe will do a Tyrus episode later.
At some point.
But Tyrus is so cool because Tyrus.
So Tyrus was a WWE wrestler from what I understand.

(01:22:32):
I guess.
And so he's like a, he's fucking, he's a tank dude.
He's huge.
And he's also, he thinks that he's so like, he, he, he always thinks he's the last one
to talk.
He's the cool guy at Fox News.
And he's like coming in Tyrus, Tyrus coming in dropping bombs after all the little peasants
speak.

(01:22:52):
Yeah.
That's what he thinks he is.
And he's not.
Very egotistical.
Like the one episode, my favorite Tyrus clip was when he-
This was-
He talked me to my core.
Yeah.
He came in with like a cardboard, like it looked like a big refrigerator box or like
he had like a duck tape together, like a fort around him.
And it was just him in the fort.
Like he was sitting down in his chair and there was like a fort and all you could see

(01:23:12):
was like from his chin up and he just wrote blacks only on the fort.
He stayed in it the entire episode and Gutfeld was like Tyrus, what are you doing?
He's like, this is my safe space.
Bro.
It is like-
It's comedy, dude.
It feels like the most dystopian fucking like we're at the end.

(01:23:35):
This is the last year.
2024 is the last year.
Cause this is the last, that's the last evolution of Fox News.
Well Tyrus is the toke.
It can't get worse than this.
He's like, they're getting so shameless about like, well, you know, he's the toke and black
guy.
That's, that's what's weird about it too is cause yeah, Tar, Taurus.
Taurus.
Taurus.
Tyrus is part black and they really, it's like very uncomfortable.

(01:23:58):
He does kind of play into it too in a weird artificial way.
Yeah.
Cause he's grifting, but then it's very uncomfortable how, yeah, like the other hosts will play
into it in very uncomfortable ways.
They are the ones who make the joke.
Cause when Tyrus does like, he's allowed to do certain jokes, but like the coked out comedian
who's on your show, in air quotes, comedian.

(01:24:20):
And using, they use him as like the scapegoat to be able to talk shit about like DE&I and
reparations.
Cause he's always like, no, this shit's stupid, bro.
I'm, I'm a black guy.
I don't want to know.
Yeah.
So they just use him as like kind of the, well, he said it.
So we, so we're going to say it.
We're going to say it times.
So frustrating.

(01:24:40):
I don't know.
It's just like I said, the most, it feels like a fucking fake show.
If I can, it's, we describe it as best as we can.
It's all manufactured.
I've shown you a few clips.
I just don't want to see it copystriked into hell with a ton of clips.
So we're trying to describe some of them also for our audio listeners.

(01:25:01):
And I, yeah, go watch a pirated clip at some point after this, because you will really
be absolutely bamboozled by like the pacing of the show too.
It is so fucking weird.
Go watch a pirated clip.
Yeah.
Do not give God, it's a joke guys.
It's comedy.

(01:25:21):
Anyway, then in 2020 here, this is when Gutfeld really just starts rising to the top.
So we see Fox's Greg Gutfeld show tops Colbert, Fallon, Kimmel in late night ratings race.
And then some of the other headlines in 2020 also read white Fox news host screams over
black co-hosts while he spoke about systemic racism.

(01:25:45):
And so that is Greg Gutfeld yelling over his black co-host while he was speaking about
systemic racism.
And then we also have Fox news host Greg Gutfeld's polls of 180 on Trump's quote, very fine people
in Charlottesville now calls it a hoax.
So he was just, he's just doing the propaganda thing.

(01:26:05):
He's doing the fucking grift to the GOP grift.
He's yeah.
Anyway, what a group.
That's all I got to say about that.
So then in 2021, another funny headline here said Fox news host Greg Gutfeld attacks colleagues
gets a nightly show, which I thought was a very funny, accurate summary of what went

(01:26:27):
down because yeah, it's, that's really all it is.
He's just, he's full of hatred and, uh, bad vibes.
Yeah.
So they just an asshole.
So they brought them to every single night on Fox.
Well, that's cause like everyone who watches Fox news in earnest is an asshole.
Everyone who like watches Fox news and likes it, you, you're an asshole.

(01:26:50):
I don't care.
And it's mostly because you're dumb and not be a dickhead.
It's not your fault.
It's because you're dumb.
And you're not even dumb, dude.
Like you're really smart.
They've made you like they think they've dumbed you down.
Yeah, dude.
They make, they want you to think that you're smarter for watching Fox news, but they're
like brainwashing you.

(01:27:10):
And so if you're a Fox news viewer that has somehow found your way onto this video in
this far, um, stick around.
We will help you out.
Don't listen to them.
You're way smarter than them.
Anyway, um, 2022, this was so fucking funny to me when I saw this, uh, honestly, I, okay.

(01:27:31):
I won't say it anyway.
So this guy in New York city got convicted of a crime because he threatened to kill Greg
Dutfeld and I just thought it.
I want to be Joe Manchin.
We gotta get Ricky Johnson on this.
And Laura Ingram and Greg got all three of them.

(01:27:52):
Dude, we gotta talk to this guy, Ricky Johnson, Ricky Johnson.
If you're out there, bro, we don't condone crimes and we would, I mean, this is all a
joke, but I thought this was funny.
We want to know.
Yeah, I got to know how this happened.
You threatened to kill them and they like, didn't they, they prosecute you.
Like who did you go tell?
How did you get, how did they go from threatening?

(01:28:14):
Um, it was in direct messages and posted videos.
That's it.
So it was like, yeah, like social DMS and videos.
So he was DMing Greg Dutfeld.
That's so funny.
I Joe Manchin and Laura Ingram.
How did they, how did they like intersect?
Like why those three?
Why not?
Are there more?
Cause like, cause like if I DM Elon, it's like, yo, I'm gonna like, I'm going to bankrupt

(01:28:38):
you and that's fine.
Can he prosecute me?
No, you're not threatening to kill him.
No, you just can't.
You just can't be like, I'm going to kill you.
Don't do that.
It feels like threatening to bankrupt a billionaire is a crime in capitalism.
I don't want to kill you.
It feels like that's worse than threatening.
It will be a crime soon for sure.

(01:28:59):
But yeah, exactly.
Does she want to go out?
Um, no, he's hungry.
Vulcan's hungry.
I know.
He's going to eat after this.
We're almost done.
We're already at 2022.
That's what I'm saying.
And so then we get to 2023.
Okay.
He'll be fine.

(01:29:19):
He's hanging out.
So this 2023 fluff piece in the wall street journal.
The media is all bullshit.
Yeah.
It reminded me of that awesome Austin Russell fluff piece that we talked about at one point.
I can't wait for us to do the Austin Russell episode.
We've mentioned him a lot.
You know, we've given some details.
That might be a four hour mega special episode.

(01:29:41):
Anyway, so this fluff piece Fox news, Greg Gutfeld's rides anti woke humor to ratings
stardom host of late night show Gutfeld and cohost of the five emerges as bigger player
at network after Tucker Carlson's exit.
Awesome.
Woo.
So then later in the year, July, 2023, pictures.

(01:30:02):
So awesome.
That is awesome.
Small man.
He's like, he got Timmy TV or whatever from Willy Wonka.
He had it set to M for me.
He's had it set to W for Wombo.
So the headline of this reads Greg Gutfeld's coworkers accused Fox news host of having

(01:30:25):
Napoleon complex.
And I just thought that was really funny.
We're not going to read any of the report.
Just I think we all believe everyone accused him, right?
Yeah.
Cool.
So then this was in October, 2023, pretty recently, uh, Greg Gutfeld suggests that the
answer to divisions is war, not voting.

(01:30:47):
Okay.
And so, yeah, very cool.
Um, this passage I wanted to highlight from the article.
It's the, the, the author writes this, uh, this is Philip bump from, uh, what, what is
this?
I know your data have a article written, um, yeah, yeah.

(01:31:07):
The answer to divisions is war, not voting.
And it's on October six, dude.
Dude, I'm telling you all this shit has been like pre-planned bro.
Like the fuck they didn't even wait two days.
Yeah.
Philly D has been like started his campaign like two years ago.
Like they've been drumming this drum for a while now, but yeah, that's brazen.

(01:31:30):
It's like, okay, let's just get them ready.
No war.
Push.
Yeah.
So the author writes, um, this about the, the, um, situation at hand.
Now consider the audience watching at home.
How often do you imagine they challenged the channel's perspective or no, the channel's

(01:31:51):
presentation of news stories.
How often do you think they instead come to view elections as futile, if not armed conflict
as a more satisfying means of resolution, essentially saying, you know, how many of
the viewers of Gutfeld show and Fox news, do you really think are critically thinking
about what's being fed to them versus blindly believing the person on TV that's telling

(01:32:15):
them these things are good and these things are bad and they trust and believe them and
they start to, to really believe that.
Yeah, sure.
Can I give you my answer?
Maybe war is a more satisfying.
Yeah.
Can I give you my answer?
Well, did I ask a question?
Yeah.
How many people who watch Greg Gutfeld do you think are critical?
And I think the answer's two.
Us.
I just think it's me and you.

(01:32:35):
And then that Ethan is online guy who made the, he made a video about it.
So there's three.
Oh yeah.
He did watch a video about Gutfeld.
And yeah, I think there's three of us.
Maybe, maybe Cory, if Cory starts watching, but that's it.
And anyone who starts watching Gutfeld, uh, through the bootleg stream.
Let us know.
Yeah.
Yeah.

(01:32:56):
We're all up.
Yeah.
Let's see here.
This, this part right here where it says, um, Gutfeld's a show that would result if
Donald Trump got to pick Bill Maher's guess.
That's a, that, that's good words.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
What I've been trying to say.
Cause it does feel like Bill Maher.
Yeah.
But like that.
And even though Bill Maher's not great, he's better than Gutfeld.
Yeah.
Oh, and so all in all that, um, I think, yeah, that's the conclusion of bed flags.

(01:33:24):
Um, the conclusion of the Greg Gutfeld.
Greg, Greg, Greg, Gregory Gutfeld extravaganza all in all, he's a big fed flag.
His wife's a fed flag.
The network's a big fed flag.
We know this, but I just wanted to make sure everyone was aware that this truly is the
number one late night show in America right now.

(01:33:45):
And we need to like know what they're saying and like propagandizing people with because
you know, it's not great.
No.
And knowledge is power.
You don't want to be naive to what other people are seeing and believing and like try and
be blind to it because that makes it harder to actually talk and reason with those people.
And you know, we hope and pray that we actually can at some point, but like, you know, just

(01:34:09):
we got to keep tabs on what they're doing over there.
And yeah, unfortunately a lot of people love Greg Gutfeld guys.
Yeah.
What do you guys think about Greg?
Did you like it?
I thought it was very good.
I knew there was a reason why we were so hyper fixated on Greg.
This always happens.

(01:34:29):
It feels like the same thing with like when we were like, you know, in the Roger, like
the Caleb thing.
It's like we couldn't really explain.
Dude, it's all the same.
We couldn't explain why we were so like.
Why we were like, why are we watching this for 20 minutes every day?
It's because it's our pattern recognition.
We're saying, yeah, we've seen this show before.
We've seen this before.
Yes.

(01:34:50):
I'm a very typical pattern recognition.
Yeah.
Very neuro.
They're being odd.
They're not being normal.
It's just like the vibe is fucking off here.
Yeah.
Because dude, they, everything they do is like scripted.
Their whole, his whole career is scripted.

(01:35:11):
Look at it.
It's like, they're like, Ooh, is he going to be the number one in media or in late night?
And then it's like three months later, the same magazines.
Yep.
He was like, bitch, that was a motherfucking plan.
Yeah.
No, I'm so sick of this shit.
It's all fucking like pre scripted bullshit.

(01:35:31):
Greg feels like an absolute plant.
And I say that because of also the timing with him leaving UK or yeah, UK Maxim with
all of a sudden.
He leaves that in 2006 gets, or got married in 2004 to his wife, Elena, leaves Maxim in
2006 and then starts at Fox news in 2007 as this very controversial mouthpiece for obvious

(01:35:58):
ulterior motives.
And it's like, Hmm, feels like a fucking plant, dude.
Like you're either so blindly following the money, which is the problem with capitalism
because it allows the worst people to exploit the system for their own gain.
Cause only the worst people can get to the top in this system.
Anyway, um, I don't remember what my other point was staring at.

(01:36:22):
I know I've just been watching his face twirl.
Maybe that's how we had to.
Yeah.
So, I mean, yeah, that's, that's, that's that on Gupfeld y'all stay safe.
Don't I don't know.
In the video version, can we just have his face spinning for like a solid day at the
end cards?
Yeah.
Really milk that watch time for the people who just leave us on his background noise.

(01:36:45):
You know what we should try to do?
Let's try to get this episode targeted at Fox news viewers.
And like, maybe we'll try to convert some people.
No, let's, let's, let's, let's make our goal to get out.
Let's clip ourselves and make us make ourselves look kind of stupid.
So we get onto Gupfeld.
Oh, that's also what I'm hoping.
I want, uh, yeah, my goal is to get dunk on Gupfeld.

(01:37:07):
If he called us like dumb libs, I want him to call me.
Did he call me?
Yeah, dude, I would come.
Sorry.
I want the free cloud.
That's the second time we've said the word come during this episode.
This is a vulgar boys only podcast.
X-rated.
The, nah, we're.
Anyway, I think we'll end it on that.

(01:37:27):
I mean, Corey just said that Gupfeld would make him come.
So I think that's the end.
Yeah.
If he called us a bunch of silly libs, dude, it would.
It would be euphoria.
I would make 200 videos about that.
That would be the highlight of my life.
Honestly.
I think that, okay, that's what we should start doing.
Let's try to make, uh, let's outbate Gupfeld and bait him to put something of us on the

(01:37:52):
show.
So then people, you know, inevitably we get some clout from it and then we steal the Fox
news viewers because they're like, yo, there's so much realer than Gupfeld.
And then we accidentally, they don't even know we undo their brainwashing and we're
like, no, no, no, think for yourself, think for yourself.
It's ambitious.
Some dumb ass fucking producers too wouldn't even ever find this and, and like hear our

(01:38:13):
plan cause they're also fucking stupid too.
So it doesn't matter that we're saying it either.
No, we say all of our plans on the internet.
We don't keep anything secret.
Transparency is key.
Seriously, I, I'm telling you, get my ass, get my ass on.
I want to be a guest.
Bring me on the show.
All right.
I am in.

(01:38:34):
I will come to your fucking studio.
No, get Cory on the show tomorrow, bro.
Gutfeld hit us up.
And then Dante and Nicole will drive here soon.
They'll fucking come for Gutfeld.
If you ask us to be on, we'll all come on.
We'll all make fun of your weird hairline and your...
I will come for Gutfeld.
Bye, wife.

(01:39:05):
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