May 14, 2025 • 21 mins
Graduation. Milestones. Celebrations. These are supposed to be the happiest moments — but what happens after the confetti settles?
In this episode of Hello Intention, Psychotherapist and Life Strategist Shivon M. explores the emotional aftermath of big transitions that are quite typical of this time of year. Whether you're a new grad, a proud parent, or someone quietly wondering "what now?", this is your invitation to navigate the unknown with intention and compassion.
đź“· The photos have been posted. The cap has been tossed. The applause is over.
 And now… there’s silence.
In this powerful and emotionally honest episode, Shivon M. opens the curtain on what happens after the milestone moments — when the spotlight dims and we’re left with questions that feel too quiet to ask:
- Who am I without this title or structure?
- Why do I feel uncertain even though I just achieved something major?
- How do I navigate the identity shift that comes after “success”?
You’ll explore not just the celebration, but the journey it took to get there — and the emotional work it takes to move forward with clarity, wholeness, and intentionality.
Whether you’re a recent graduate, a parent watching your child step into a new chapter, or someone quietly wrestling with change behind the scenes — this episode is for you.
In this episode, we cover:
✨ The psychological shift that happens after a big milestone
 ✨ Why “I don’t know what’s next” is more powerful than we think
 ✨ How parents experience hidden grief
 ✨ Practical tools to process change instead of rushing past it
 ✨ How to root identity in being instead of achievement
🎯 Key Takeaway:
You are more than your milestone. You are worthy in the quiet, uncertain, in-between — and your next chapter deserves to be shaped with intention, not pressure.
Did this episode speak to a part of you that’s been quietly trying to make sense of what’s next?
✨ Share this episode with a graduate, parent, or friend navigating their own transition.
✨ Subscribe to Hello Intention - the Podcast wherever you listen — and leave a review to help others find these intentional conversations.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 00 (00:00):
Many of us cope by jumping straight into the next
project or role.
But rushing past, past thereflection keeps us tied to
performance rather thanpresence.
Reflection helps you integratethe lessons of your journey and
(00:23):
ensures your next steps arealigned, not reactive.
I'm your host, Shivon, licensedpsychotherapist, change expert,
and life strategist.
Thanks for tuning in andwelcome to our intentional
community.
Before we get started, just aquick note.
Hello Intention is not intendedto be a substitute for
(00:46):
obtaining and or building apersonal relationship with a
licensed mental healthprofessional.
Hey, hey, everyone.
Welcome back to HelloIntention.
Today, this is the space wherewe don't just celebrate the
highlight reel, but we talkabout what's happening behind
(01:07):
it.
We're actually going to talkabout what happens after the
applause.
Why?
Because it's graduation season,promotion season, celebration
season.
But the thing is, I don't knowhow many have thought about it,
(01:28):
after the cameras turn off,after the caps fall to the
ground, if your school does thatanymore, after the laughter and
the big crowds, there'ssomething else, something
(01:49):
quieter, something often harderto name.
Something many don't see.
After the celebration comes aquiet, heavy unknown for many of
us.
And today, we're going to talkabout how to hold that space
(02:14):
with clarity, compassion, andstrategy.
Okay.
So before we get there, I wantto first pause to honor what it
took to even get to thatmilestone, to get here.
(02:35):
Whether you or someone you lovejust crossed a stage, finished
a program, got a promotion, orwatched your child graduate, it
likely did not come easy.
It took late nights and earlymornings, sacrifices,
(02:56):
financials, emotional, personal.
What about the resilience inthe face of doubt, failure, and
maybe even fear?
Sometimes we're so focused onthe finish line that we forget
to process the run that it tookto get there.
(03:20):
So just for a moment, rightnow, take a deep breath.
And if you haven't already,acknowledge the version of
yourself who showed up again andagain along the way.
Acknowledge you.
(03:42):
Acknowledge the work, the time,the effort, the dedication, the
consistency.
Because the applause that comesalong with the finish line at
(04:03):
the end, they don't always reachthe private battles.
So in this moment, we celebratethat.
We give that some shine.
We give that a whole lot.
(04:24):
of acknowledgement.
You see, you did a thing.
You finished the degree.
You got the promotion.
You launched the brand.
Whatever your milestone happensto be in this moment, you did
it.
And everyone is clapping.
Everyone is congratulating you.
(04:46):
But what happens when theapplause fades?
Here's the part no one oftentalks about.
Once the ceremony ends, thesilence begins.
And for many, especially highachievers, the question becomes,
now what?
(05:06):
Who am I without the structure?
Structure of school, structureof my schedule that used to be.
What do I do if I don't?
have that next step figuredout?
What if I mess it up?
(05:28):
Why do I feel so empty when Ishould feel proud?
This isn't just post-grad,post-celebration blues.
It's honestly a psychologicaltransition.
The uncomfortable in-between.
(05:51):
The identity shift.
You've let go of one version ofyourself or you are in the
transitional process of lettinggo of one version of yourself,
evolving from that version ofyourself.
But you haven't fully steppedinto the next.
(06:14):
The next version, the nextspace.
And it's here.
in this sacred in-between thatwe either start numbing or we
start navigating.
Now, for a moment, I also wantto shift and speak to the
(06:36):
parents in the room.
And I know this space all toowell myself as well.
To the new parents watchingyour child grow, graduate from
preschool, kindergarten,elementary school, high school,
you might be wondering how Timemoved so fast.
There's plenty of joy, yes, butthere might also be some grief.
(06:59):
Grief for the baby years, forthe versions of your child who
will never return to a greatdegree, right?
Because they've grown.
And as parents, that's what wewant.
We want to see them travelthrough their journey and be
successful and accomplishamazing things.
(07:21):
To my seasoned parents, theones navigating high school or
college graduation, oh my gosh.
Knowing what that feels like,this moment might feel like an
ending.
And in many ways, it might be.
It is.
Not the end of love, but theend of a role.
(07:43):
The end of certain dailyroutines.
You're releasing your childinto the world.
a different part of the world.
And that comes with pride, butalso the ache of letting go.
So whether you're justbeginning or you're watching
(08:08):
them fly, know this, your rolemay currently be changing, but
your presence, your love, andyour impact remain constant.
As your child steps into a newchapter, your role evolves, not
(08:29):
to become less, but to becomesomething deeper.
And over time, you discoverwhat that looks like.
You grow into that together.
At times, our external realitysays, Yay! We're celebrating.
(08:52):
It's all great.
But our internal world says,wait, what is happening?
You see, our nervous systemsare wired for rhythm.
And this is everybody.
Not just my parents.
This is everybody.
And milestones, whilebeautiful, can be disruptive.
(09:18):
They signal the end ofsomething, the start of
something unknown.
It's common to feel anxietyabout identity shifts, fear of
sustaining success, hiddengrief.
(09:39):
Don't worry, you're human.
And this, these are realemotions, real feelings.
connected to the moment andtime you're in on your journey.
So what now?
What do we do with the spaceafter the celebration?
(10:01):
Here's where you get whateveryou're going to get to take
notes because I've got somethings for you to write down.
I'm going to give you a fewintentional steps that you can
take to start navigating thistime, this moment.
(10:23):
Number one, give yourselfpermission to feel it all.
The pride and the panic, thegratitude and the grief.
There's no right way to feelpost-milestone.
Milestones stir up more thanjust joy, right?
(10:45):
There's often, like I said, thehidden grief, the anxiety, The
identity shifts.
But suppressing these emotionscreates disconnection.
Honoring them creates healing.
When you give yourself space tofeel, you make space to grow.
(11:10):
So don't run from thosefeelings.
Embrace them.
Give yourself the time you needto process them.
Number two, normalize theuncertainty.
I don't know is not a weakness.
(11:33):
It's a starting point.
I want you to give yourselfgrace in the becoming.
Our culture often glorifiescertainty.
But Transformation rarely comeswith a blueprint.
Saying I don't know opens thedoor to curiosity, exploration,
(12:00):
and alignment.
I often tell my kids it's okaynot to know.
There's a lot of things that wewon't know along the way.
And it relieves you when youcan be honest and transparent in
the moment and say, hey, I justdon't know.
(12:23):
It doesn't mean you willforever not know, but it does
acknowledge the space you're in.
And it says, okay, so what do Ido now to get to understand, to
get to know?
Where do I look?
What do I explore?
All the things, right?
(12:43):
It's in the not knowing space.
that we discover who we reallyare becoming.
Number three, I want you toreflect before you rush.
Reflect before you rush.
Instead of jumping into thatnext thing, the next goal,
(13:05):
whatever it may be, I want youto take time to process the
journey.
I want you to journal, rest,breathe.
Many of us cope by jumpingstraight into the next project
or role.
But rushing past, past thereflection keeps us tied to
(13:29):
performance rather thanpresence.
Reflection helps you integratethe lessons of your journey and
ensures your next steps arealigned, not reactive.
We're talking about bigmilestones, but even as we're
(13:52):
going through these strategiesand intentional steps, it's not
always the graduation or the jobor the next step and phase in
your business.
It could even be that next yearof life, a birthday.
For some that...
(14:15):
Transition to that next year istough.
Oftentimes we feel thepressures of needing to be
filled with more wisdom and moreknowledge and understanding of
where we're going in life.
And so even in that phase ofcelebration, You stop and you
(14:43):
reflect.
You pause and you look over thelast year that you had and the
things that you accomplished andmaybe the things that weren't
so great.
And you process the journey.
You realign yourself or youcontinue to align with that
(15:05):
which is still part of yourvalue system and still part of
where you're going.
And you continue on yourjourney in a present state.
I hope that makes sense.
Number four of our strategylist is going to be to anchor
(15:29):
into identity beyond theachievement.
You are not your degree.
You're not your title.
You are not your checklist.
Who are you becoming apart fromperformance?
When your worth is tied todoing, you'll always feel like
(15:55):
you're not enough.
This season invites you to rootyour identity in being.
Your value isn't in youraccolades.
It's in your character, yourvoice, your essence.
This is the foundation forsustainable self-worth.
I'm going to go back to talkingto my fellow parents because
(16:18):
sometimes we wrap ourselves upso much in the identity, the
role of being a parent, and thethings that come along with it,
that when these milestones andtransitions happen, we often are
lost for quite some time.
(16:41):
And so This is your moment toreevaluate your foundation and
to ensure that your self-worthis rooted in your being and who
(17:04):
you are.
Again, in your essence, all thepieces that you brought to the
role, but All the pieces of youthat exist in such a greater way
as well, beyond one role, onetitle.
(17:26):
And as a parent, I'm going togive you number five.
I want you to take time tohonor your own transition.
This isn't just your child'smilestone.
I want you to nurture your ownemotional well-being as roles
(17:50):
shift.
There's parts of this milestonethat are yours too.
No, of course you didn't do thework and you didn't do the
things, and I'm not saying totake away their accomplishment
as though it is yours in itsentirety, but Parents often
(18:14):
focus so fully on their child'scelebration that we often
overlook our own emotionalexperience.
But we are evolving too.
Our identity, our rhythms, oursense of purpose, all of it
(18:34):
shifts.
Tending to our heart in thisseason allows us to show up with
clarity and compassion, notjust for them, but for ourselves
as well.
The celebration is an amazingthing.
(18:56):
It's a phenomenal moment.
One that you want to pause andtake in.
And oftentimes we don't becauseit all happens so fast and
fast.
Sometimes you feel a lot ofresponsibility still, even in
that moment, tied to so manyother things.
(19:19):
How you celebrate and who'sthere to celebrate it.
All the external things.
So in this season, in thismoment, wherever you are, on a
stage, in the stands, behind thelens...
Or holding back tears after thecrowd is gone.
(19:43):
I want you to let this truthland inside.
Inside of you.
Because you are more than amoment.
You are worthy beyond themilestone.
You are becoming.
And that too deservescelebration.
(20:04):
So I know when all thepeople...
who were there for the momentof the celebration are gone and
it's just you and your thoughts.
I want you to remember thosethings.
And if you're someone who was apart of the congratulatory
(20:27):
moments and a part of thecelebrations, I want you to just
consider how you might Be therefor individuals beyond just
that one moment of celebration.
Because we're all navigating ajourney.
(20:50):
A journey that is so much morethan one moment.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with a
graduate, a parent, or someonestanding at the edge of a new
season.
Make sure you're subscribed toHello Intention, the podcast,
(21:12):
for more conversations that holdspace for what's real, but also
for what's next.
Don't forget to subscribe andjoin the community so that you
don't miss any information, sothat you're a part of deeper
conversations, deeperreflections, tools, resources,
strategies.
(21:32):
Until next time, keep livingand healing with intention.
Many of us cope by jumping straight into the next
project or role.
But rushing past, past thereflection keeps us tied to
performance rather thanpresence.
Reflection helps you integratethe lessons of your journey and
(00:23):
ensures your next steps arealigned, not reactive.
I'm your host, Shivon, licensedpsychotherapist, change expert,
and life strategist.
Thanks for tuning in andwelcome to our intentional
community.
Before we get started, just aquick note.
Hello Intention is not intendedto be a substitute for
(00:46):
obtaining and or building apersonal relationship with a
licensed mental healthprofessional.
Hey, hey, everyone.
Welcome back to HelloIntention.
Today, this is the space wherewe don't just celebrate the
highlight reel, but we talkabout what's happening behind
(01:07):
it.
We're actually going to talkabout what happens after the
applause.
Why?
Because it's graduation season,promotion season, celebration
season.
But the thing is, I don't knowhow many have thought about it,
(01:28):
after the cameras turn off,after the caps fall to the
ground, if your school does thatanymore, after the laughter and
the big crowds, there'ssomething else, something
(01:49):
quieter, something often harderto name.
Something many don't see.
After the celebration comes aquiet, heavy unknown for many of
us.
And today, we're going to talkabout how to hold that space
(02:14):
with clarity, compassion, andstrategy.
Okay.
So before we get there, I wantto first pause to honor what it
took to even get to thatmilestone, to get here.
(02:35):
Whether you or someone you lovejust crossed a stage, finished
a program, got a promotion, orwatched your child graduate, it
likely did not come easy.
It took late nights and earlymornings, sacrifices,
(02:56):
financials, emotional, personal.
What about the resilience inthe face of doubt, failure, and
maybe even fear?
Sometimes we're so focused onthe finish line that we forget
to process the run that it tookto get there.
(03:20):
So just for a moment, rightnow, take a deep breath.
And if you haven't already,acknowledge the version of
yourself who showed up again andagain along the way.
Acknowledge you.
(03:42):
Acknowledge the work, the time,the effort, the dedication, the
consistency.
Because the applause that comesalong with the finish line at
(04:03):
the end, they don't always reachthe private battles.
So in this moment, we celebratethat.
We give that some shine.
We give that a whole lot.
(04:24):
of acknowledgement.
You see, you did a thing.
You finished the degree.
You got the promotion.
You launched the brand.
Whatever your milestone happensto be in this moment, you did
it.
And everyone is clapping.
Everyone is congratulating you.
(04:46):
But what happens when theapplause fades?
Here's the part no one oftentalks about.
Once the ceremony ends, thesilence begins.
And for many, especially highachievers, the question becomes,
now what?
(05:06):
Who am I without the structure?
Structure of school, structureof my schedule that used to be.
What do I do if I don't?
have that next step figuredout?
What if I mess it up?
(05:28):
Why do I feel so empty when Ishould feel proud?
This isn't just post-grad,post-celebration blues.
It's honestly a psychologicaltransition.
The uncomfortable in-between.
(05:51):
The identity shift.
You've let go of one version ofyourself or you are in the
transitional process of lettinggo of one version of yourself,
evolving from that version ofyourself.
But you haven't fully steppedinto the next.
(06:14):
The next version, the nextspace.
And it's here.
in this sacred in-between thatwe either start numbing or we
start navigating.
Now, for a moment, I also wantto shift and speak to the
(06:36):
parents in the room.
And I know this space all toowell myself as well.
To the new parents watchingyour child grow, graduate from
preschool, kindergarten,elementary school, high school,
you might be wondering how Timemoved so fast.
There's plenty of joy, yes, butthere might also be some grief.
(06:59):
Grief for the baby years, forthe versions of your child who
will never return to a greatdegree, right?
Because they've grown.
And as parents, that's what wewant.
We want to see them travelthrough their journey and be
successful and accomplishamazing things.
(07:21):
To my seasoned parents, theones navigating high school or
college graduation, oh my gosh.
Knowing what that feels like,this moment might feel like an
ending.
And in many ways, it might be.
It is.
Not the end of love, but theend of a role.
(07:43):
The end of certain dailyroutines.
You're releasing your childinto the world.
a different part of the world.
And that comes with pride, butalso the ache of letting go.
So whether you're justbeginning or you're watching
(08:08):
them fly, know this, your rolemay currently be changing, but
your presence, your love, andyour impact remain constant.
As your child steps into a newchapter, your role evolves, not
(08:29):
to become less, but to becomesomething deeper.
And over time, you discoverwhat that looks like.
You grow into that together.
At times, our external realitysays, Yay! We're celebrating.
(08:52):
It's all great.
But our internal world says,wait, what is happening?
You see, our nervous systemsare wired for rhythm.
And this is everybody.
Not just my parents.
This is everybody.
And milestones, whilebeautiful, can be disruptive.
(09:18):
They signal the end ofsomething, the start of
something unknown.
It's common to feel anxietyabout identity shifts, fear of
sustaining success, hiddengrief.
(09:39):
Don't worry, you're human.
And this, these are realemotions, real feelings.
connected to the moment andtime you're in on your journey.
So what now?
What do we do with the spaceafter the celebration?
(10:01):
Here's where you get whateveryou're going to get to take
notes because I've got somethings for you to write down.
I'm going to give you a fewintentional steps that you can
take to start navigating thistime, this moment.
(10:23):
Number one, give yourselfpermission to feel it all.
The pride and the panic, thegratitude and the grief.
There's no right way to feelpost-milestone.
Milestones stir up more thanjust joy, right?
(10:45):
There's often, like I said, thehidden grief, the anxiety, The
identity shifts.
But suppressing these emotionscreates disconnection.
Honoring them creates healing.
When you give yourself space tofeel, you make space to grow.
(11:10):
So don't run from thosefeelings.
Embrace them.
Give yourself the time you needto process them.
Number two, normalize theuncertainty.
I don't know is not a weakness.
(11:33):
It's a starting point.
I want you to give yourselfgrace in the becoming.
Our culture often glorifiescertainty.
But Transformation rarely comeswith a blueprint.
Saying I don't know opens thedoor to curiosity, exploration,
(12:00):
and alignment.
I often tell my kids it's okaynot to know.
There's a lot of things that wewon't know along the way.
And it relieves you when youcan be honest and transparent in
the moment and say, hey, I justdon't know.
(12:23):
It doesn't mean you willforever not know, but it does
acknowledge the space you're in.
And it says, okay, so what do Ido now to get to understand, to
get to know?
Where do I look?
What do I explore?
All the things, right?
(12:43):
It's in the not knowing space.
that we discover who we reallyare becoming.
Number three, I want you toreflect before you rush.
Reflect before you rush.
Instead of jumping into thatnext thing, the next goal,
(13:05):
whatever it may be, I want youto take time to process the
journey.
I want you to journal, rest,breathe.
Many of us cope by jumpingstraight into the next project
or role.
But rushing past, past thereflection keeps us tied to
(13:29):
performance rather thanpresence.
Reflection helps you integratethe lessons of your journey and
ensures your next steps arealigned, not reactive.
We're talking about bigmilestones, but even as we're
(13:52):
going through these strategiesand intentional steps, it's not
always the graduation or the jobor the next step and phase in
your business.
It could even be that next yearof life, a birthday.
For some that...
(14:15):
Transition to that next year istough.
Oftentimes we feel thepressures of needing to be
filled with more wisdom and moreknowledge and understanding of
where we're going in life.
And so even in that phase ofcelebration, You stop and you
(14:43):
reflect.
You pause and you look over thelast year that you had and the
things that you accomplished andmaybe the things that weren't
so great.
And you process the journey.
You realign yourself or youcontinue to align with that
(15:05):
which is still part of yourvalue system and still part of
where you're going.
And you continue on yourjourney in a present state.
I hope that makes sense.
Number four of our strategylist is going to be to anchor
(15:29):
into identity beyond theachievement.
You are not your degree.
You're not your title.
You are not your checklist.
Who are you becoming apart fromperformance?
When your worth is tied todoing, you'll always feel like
(15:55):
you're not enough.
This season invites you to rootyour identity in being.
Your value isn't in youraccolades.
It's in your character, yourvoice, your essence.
This is the foundation forsustainable self-worth.
I'm going to go back to talkingto my fellow parents because
(16:18):
sometimes we wrap ourselves upso much in the identity, the
role of being a parent, and thethings that come along with it,
that when these milestones andtransitions happen, we often are
lost for quite some time.
(16:41):
And so This is your moment toreevaluate your foundation and
to ensure that your self-worthis rooted in your being and who
(17:04):
you are.
Again, in your essence, all thepieces that you brought to the
role, but All the pieces of youthat exist in such a greater way
as well, beyond one role, onetitle.
(17:26):
And as a parent, I'm going togive you number five.
I want you to take time tohonor your own transition.
This isn't just your child'smilestone.
I want you to nurture your ownemotional well-being as roles
(17:50):
shift.
There's parts of this milestonethat are yours too.
No, of course you didn't do thework and you didn't do the
things, and I'm not saying totake away their accomplishment
as though it is yours in itsentirety, but Parents often
(18:14):
focus so fully on their child'scelebration that we often
overlook our own emotionalexperience.
But we are evolving too.
Our identity, our rhythms, oursense of purpose, all of it
(18:34):
shifts.
Tending to our heart in thisseason allows us to show up with
clarity and compassion, notjust for them, but for ourselves
as well.
The celebration is an amazingthing.
(18:56):
It's a phenomenal moment.
One that you want to pause andtake in.
And oftentimes we don't becauseit all happens so fast and
fast.
Sometimes you feel a lot ofresponsibility still, even in
that moment, tied to so manyother things.
(19:19):
How you celebrate and who'sthere to celebrate it.
All the external things.
So in this season, in thismoment, wherever you are, on a
stage, in the stands, behind thelens...
Or holding back tears after thecrowd is gone.
(19:43):
I want you to let this truthland inside.
Inside of you.
Because you are more than amoment.
You are worthy beyond themilestone.
You are becoming.
And that too deservescelebration.
(20:04):
So I know when all thepeople...
who were there for the momentof the celebration are gone and
it's just you and your thoughts.
I want you to remember thosethings.
And if you're someone who was apart of the congratulatory
(20:27):
moments and a part of thecelebrations, I want you to just
consider how you might Be therefor individuals beyond just
that one moment of celebration.
Because we're all navigating ajourney.
(20:50):
A journey that is so much morethan one moment.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with a
graduate, a parent, or someonestanding at the edge of a new
season.
Make sure you're subscribed toHello Intention, the podcast,
(21:12):
for more conversations that holdspace for what's real, but also
for what's next.
Don't forget to subscribe andjoin the community so that you
don't miss any information, sothat you're a part of deeper
conversations, deeperreflections, tools, resources,
strategies.
(21:32):
Until next time, keep livingand healing with intention.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.