An Urgency to Live, Now via Photo Journaling

“if one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy. It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all. Perhaps we only need to wake up.” -Thomas Merton

Perhaps it’s just a sliver. a nuanced change. from looking to seeing. Let yourself see beyond your eyes.

full body seeing. SUBSCRIBE ON SUBSTACK TO GET VISUAL PODCAST EPISODES. This episode is our monthly exploration into personal photographic journaling.

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
​And it says if one reaches the point where understanding fails.
This is not a tragedy.
It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
Perhaps we only need to wake up.

(00:26):
Perhaps we.
Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something.
Letting yourself.
See it.
Look at the pictures that you put on your template, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now.
And let yourself stop.

(00:49):
At an image that makes you want to stop.
Exercise that muscle.
Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse.
And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see.
Beyond it to see deeper to go through it.
To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle.

(01:14):
That's not very flattering on.
And you go deeper into it.
What.
Is this picture telling you.
What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it.
The relationship there, that exact moment.
What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? Just let yourself swirl.

(01:37):
We swirl over the most horrific shit.
The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something meaningful.
And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life.
Swirl around the pictures you're taking.
Let yourself swirl around yourself.
It's okay to give yourself that much attention.

(02:00):
And regard.
And time and.
Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.

(02:28):
One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
.999You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.

(02:50):
All you have to do is see.
In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.

(03:13):
You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life. 42 00:03:19,664.999 --> 00:03:41,220 What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long. 43 00:03:42,779.999 --> 00:03:44,849.999 Come exactly as you are. 44 00:03:45,139.999 --> 00:03:45,999.999 It's perfect. 45 00:03:46,709.999 --> 00:03:48,229.999 Honor your instincts. 46 00:03:48,289.999 --> 00:03:53,909.999 Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.

(03:55):
Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
Let's dive in. 49 00:04:06,443.33333333 --> 00:04:08,703.33333333 Hello and welcome to Nostalgia Now. 50 00:04:09,713.33333333 --> 00:04:11,723.33333333 This month I'm doing something different. 51 00:04:11,983.33333333 --> 00:04:24,573.33333333 So in the past, when this Nostalgia Now was a membership with a live component, we would get together once a month and the first hour be co working. 52 00:04:25,278.33333333 --> 00:04:45,108.33333333 We'd all have our templates up, do our, um, templates together on mute with the micro with the cameras off, and then we would come together and do a show and tell and talk about the experience and what we learned and share whatever we felt like sharing and our discoveries and our breakthroughs. 53 00:04:45,158.33333333 --> 00:04:50,908.33333333 And, I got the nudge to make this month just like that. 54 00:04:51,138.33333333 --> 00:04:59,428.33333333 So this recording is going to have a pause that allows you to do your own template. 55 00:04:59,538.33333333 --> 00:05:04,348.33333333 It allows you to press pause and then put on the music. 56 00:05:04,388.33333333 --> 00:05:09,378.33333333 I almost played music for you and let there be an extra hour of space. 57 00:05:09,378.33333333 --> 00:05:13,518.33333333 But then I was like, maybe they're not into my melancholic music. 58 00:05:13,988.33333333 --> 00:05:15,848.33333333 Um, so. 59 00:05:16,118.33333333 --> 00:05:29,658.33333333 I encourage you to press pause, put on your own music, have your yummy drink, get a blanket on you, do whatever you want to do to make this a sacred space for you to reflect on the last month. 60 00:05:29,668.33333333 --> 00:05:31,628.33333333 So this is for the month of September. 61 00:05:32,328.33333333 --> 00:05:38,958.33333333 And, um, this month I actually did something new where I used film stills. 62 00:05:38,978.33333333 --> 00:05:46,68.23333333 I was watching a, an old YouTube video of a documentary on Anais and I. 63 00:05:46,408.33333333 --> 00:05:48,658.33333333 Was so inspired by the footage of her. 64 00:05:48,658.33333333 --> 00:05:50,718.33333333 So I took some screenshots and added it there. 65 00:05:50,778.33333333 --> 00:05:54,428.33333333 The credit, uh, of the documentary and the director is at the end of the template. 66 00:05:55,58.33333333 --> 00:06:11,778.33383333 And, yeah, let me just go through this for you before we start, this particular month is dedicated to the passing of a peer of mine that was in a photography group that I'm also in called Memory Cult. 67 00:06:11,818.33383333 --> 00:06:12,828.33283333 And her name is E. 68 00:06:12,828.33383333 --> 00:06:13,78.33383333 J. 69 00:06:13,78.33383333 --> 00:06:13,498.33383333 Hassan. 70 00:06:14,678.33383333 --> 00:06:24,363.33383333 And I watched her celebration of life and was so, I mean, I would just bawled for two hours straight. 71 00:06:24,383.33383333 --> 00:06:33,453.33283333 I didn't even know her on a personal level, um, just pleasantries and just knew of her and of her insanely gorgeous work. 72 00:06:34,193.33283333 --> 00:06:36,263.33383333 Getting upset just talking about it. 73 00:06:36,363.33283333 --> 00:06:57,338.33283333 Um, she was a beautiful soul and There were so many comments, um, from her loved ones who were giving speeches about her and her life that just gripped me and I left that celebration thinking, I want to be more like EJ. 74 00:06:57,338.33383333 --> 00:07:00,648.33483333 I want to live my life more like EJ. 75 00:07:00,718.33383333 --> 00:07:12,928.33383333 And, um, one of the quotes that struck me the most, um, Was when one of her close friends said, when you think of like being in the moment, she was the moment. 76 00:07:14,508.33383333 --> 00:07:20,698.33383333 She was like referring to her warmth and her ability to be so present and be there with you. 77 00:07:21,868.33283333 --> 00:07:26,628.33383333 Not anywhere else, but in that moment and that inspired me so much. 78 00:07:27,758.33383333 --> 00:08:09,43.33383333 So, um, you know, as I've been talking with a few friends, I have shared that I just feel such urgency and To live for myself and also for her, um, but what, what gave me such comfort about hearing more about her personal life through her loved ones was this knowing that that was a life she lived, she, she lived, she did what made her happy. 79 00:08:09,43.33383333 --> 00:08:11,613.33383333 She went back to school for photography later in life. 80 00:08:11,613.33383333 --> 00:08:16,93.33383333 She taught, she wasn't warmth and sunshine personified. 81 00:08:16,193.33383333 --> 00:08:18,253.33383333 Um, and. 82 00:08:19,713.33383333 --> 00:08:38,713.33333333 I'm just so, I feel so honored and grateful for the opportunity to deepen into that and to take notes from her and to look at her work and to live and take pictures for her as well. 83 00:08:38,713.33333333 --> 00:08:41,273.33383333 And and through that inspiration. 84 00:08:41,653.33383333 --> 00:08:43,743.33383333 Um, it's a live link. 85 00:08:43,753.33383333 --> 00:08:54,893.33383333 If you're, if you're wanting to learn more about this magical soul, um, the founder of memory coat, Anastasia, she of course created the most beautiful tribute to her. 86 00:08:54,943.33383333 --> 00:09:26,538.33383333 And if you want to read some of EJ's words and watch a tribute video, um, you can click on the link, um, that says this month is dedicated to Okay, so this urgency to live, this urgency to live feels like an urgency to do what I already know how to do, to be what I already am, but fully expressed. 87 00:09:26,938.33383333 --> 00:09:28,758.33383333 We're talking about self actualization. 88 00:09:31,688.33283333 --> 00:09:41,108.33383333 And I was recently, I said that my biggest fear. 89 00:09:41,698.33383333 --> 00:10:08,698.33383333 you know, outside of really horrible things like death and, you know, loss and fears that most people have, parents have, is Not knowing that I have an option, not seeing a possibility of something that would have helped me feel more alive in my life and, live deeper. 90 00:10:09,508.33383333 --> 00:10:16,488.33383333 Um, it's not the regret of, Oh, I didn't. 91 00:10:17,208.33383333 --> 00:10:19,338.33383333 I, I, I didn't choose to do that. 92 00:10:19,428.33383333 --> 00:10:21,878.33383333 I'm not afraid of making a wrong choice. 93 00:10:22,938.33383333 --> 00:10:32,558.33383333 I'm afraid of not having my eyes open to the most alive version of myself, whatever that is. 94 00:10:33,128.33383333 --> 00:10:38,628.33283333 And that is what every month that is what these templates are about. 95 00:10:39,398.33383333 --> 00:11:08,888.33283333 There are my way of guiding myself back to myself because I'm so emotional this month, because We have so many well meaning, innocent, uh, unavoidable filters that have been put onto us over our lifetimes. 96 00:11:10,68.33383333 --> 00:11:17,28.33383333 And our truth comes across like it cannot be held back. 97 00:11:17,658.33383333 --> 00:11:29,8.33383333 There are, it can be suppressed, but it cannot be held back in the moments that matter most when you burst out crying or like in these waves that all of a sudden I just get tears on in my face. 98 00:11:29,8.33383333 --> 00:11:30,688.33383333 It feels like my face is welling up. 99 00:11:31,278.33283333 --> 00:11:34,198.33383333 Um, it's that's, that's truth. 100 00:11:34,298.33383333 --> 00:11:38,198.33383333 When you have these, uh, Quote, unquote, irrational, overemotional. 101 00:11:38,328.33383333 --> 00:11:42,98.33383333 No, those moments are when you are alive. 102 00:11:42,468.33383333 --> 00:11:48,528.33283333 And those are the sacred moments where we should be taking notes and be like, Oh, okay, more of this. 103 00:11:48,988.33383333 --> 00:11:55,838.33283333 This is the field notes for living our life and our photography practice, whether you're a professional or not, I don't give a shit. 104 00:11:56,278.33283333 --> 00:11:56,688.33283333 Is. 105 00:11:57,23.33383333 --> 00:12:04,893.33383333 The moments where you're subconscious, it's not even, oftentimes it's not premeditated and like, Oh, I have to get a picture of this. 106 00:12:04,903.33383333 --> 00:12:24,513.33283333 It's just this impulse that happens and connecting you with that instinct and like having you refer back to those kernels of wisdom that you're trying to tell yourself, helping you become more familiar with your own personal visual language is my biggest goal. 107 00:12:24,513.33283333 --> 00:12:24,763.33283333 Because. 108 00:12:25,678.33383333 --> 00:12:38,448.33383333 There is a knowing there that when you are connected to yourself in that way, you will unavoidably elegantly, effortlessly live more accordance to that because you cannot unsee what you see. 109 00:12:38,448.33383333 --> 00:12:40,378.33383333 It's like a rubber band that gets stretched out. 110 00:12:40,688.33383333 --> 00:12:43,188.33283333 It doesn't go back to its same form. 111 00:12:46,118.33283333 --> 00:12:46,508.33283333 So. 112 00:12:47,443.33383333 --> 00:12:55,793.33383333 Revel in the fact that you are about to bring your most intimate inner wisdom and hindsight to right now, while you still have the ability to live it. 113 00:12:56,573.33383333 --> 00:13:02,643.33283333 This ritual will inevitably leave you with a vital breadcrumb for living a deeply intentional life. 114 00:13:02,643.33283333 --> 00:13:07,583.33383333 I am going to let you go through the prompts on your own. 115 00:13:07,583.33383333 --> 00:13:08,833.33383333 I'm not going to read them to you. 116 00:13:10,73.33383333 --> 00:13:22,628.33383333 My only encouragement here, my invitation for you, Would be to not try to make sense of yourself to yourself. 117 00:13:22,898.33383333 --> 00:13:26,828.33383333 And that is one of my biggest struggles in life. 118 00:13:29,248.33383333 --> 00:13:39,388.33383333 That's why I lean so hard on my photographs, because otherwise I'm just really trying to use my monkey brain to figure myself out. 119 00:13:39,588.33383333 --> 00:13:45,358.33383333 And let me tell you, it's much harder and also not fruitful. 120 00:13:46,368.33383333 --> 00:13:46,918.33383333 So. 121 00:13:47,458.33383333 --> 00:13:59,368.33383333 When you read these prompts and you go scrolling through your camera scroll for the pictures that you took in the last month, like whether this is your iCloud, uh, your Google photos, just the last month, the month of September only. 122 00:13:59,598.33383333 --> 00:14:03,488.33333333 So we're eliminating the overwhelm of like, Oh my gosh, all the pictures I've ever taken. 123 00:14:03,488.33333333 --> 00:14:05,288.33383333 No, just the last month of your life. 124 00:14:05,318.33283333 --> 00:14:14,128.33383333 That is like the freshest, um, batch of information from your subconscious to yourself, um, from your heart to yourself, to your life. 125 00:14:15,878.33383333 --> 00:14:18,758.33383333 Read these prompts and if an image pops out at you. 126 00:14:19,463.33383333 --> 00:14:21,383.33383333 Don't try to qualify it. 127 00:14:21,613.33383333 --> 00:14:26,773.33383333 Don't try to be like, well, I'm like, that doesn't seem like that doesn't track. 128 00:14:26,813.33383333 --> 00:14:28,803.33383333 Let yourself go with your instinct. 129 00:14:28,803.33383333 --> 00:14:39,363.33383333 This is an exercise in trusting your instinct in really becoming in tune with your impulses and going with that and let yourself see that on the page and move from that. 130 00:14:40,383.33383333 --> 00:14:47,583.33383333 Don't let your brain try to overtake your heart, your soul, your sacral gut for once. 131 00:14:48,38.33383333 --> 00:14:49,728.33383333 Let your brain take a back seat. 132 00:14:51,58.33383333 --> 00:14:59,258.33383333 Don't over intellectualize this, just be in the experience and let whatever comes up, comes up, sit with it, meditate on it. 133 00:14:59,818.33383333 --> 00:15:08,298.33283333 Um, sometimes, honestly, for me, when I'm doing this, I need to be listening to instrumental music because listening to someone else's words distracts me. 134 00:15:08,808.33383333 --> 00:15:12,548.33383333 Uh, and it's hard for me to focus on tuning into myself. 135 00:15:12,548.33383333 --> 00:15:15,568.23383333 So, um, if that's a pointer for you, I welcome you to do that. 136 00:15:16,248.33383333 --> 00:15:18,988.33383333 Check out some instrumental Spotify playlists. 137 00:15:19,648.33383333 --> 00:15:22,978.33383333 Um, yeah. 138 00:15:24,198.33383333 --> 00:15:24,428.33383333 Yeah. 139 00:15:24,518.33383333 --> 00:15:24,828.33383333 Okay. 140 00:15:25,58.33383333 --> 00:15:42,458.33283333 So I'm actually going to pause here and do my template myself, put on my music, get in it, and then I will come back and share what I have discovered through completing the template. 141 00:15:43,658.33283333 --> 00:15:44,808.33283333 I will see you then. 142 00:15:49,939.63882762 --> 00:16:01,319.63882762 hope you had a really fulfilling experience with your template, with your reflection of the last month of your life. 143 00:16:01,959.63882762 --> 00:16:23,639.63782762 What did you uncover? What? Did you realize that you knew all along? One of the pictures that I used was a picture I took of my son in the pool at this, uh, vacation we just went on. 144 00:16:25,299.63882762 --> 00:17:02,462.972161 And it struck me because it reminded me of What I consider to be a self portrait of myself, which are film stills that I took Of a home video of me when I was a baby and So next to this picture, I think I see me Oftentimes I think we take pictures and We don't realize why we're so taken By them until later. 145 00:17:03,142.972161 --> 00:17:13,772.972161 Um, in this case, it's been a few days since I took this picture and now I look at it and I think, oh yeah, it's because it's me. 146 00:17:16,262.971161 --> 00:17:17,932.972161 I see me in my son. 147 00:17:20,222.972161 --> 00:17:29,12.972161 And it's really interesting to see yourself in your children because we give our love to our children so freely. 148 00:17:30,347.972161 --> 00:17:33,777.972161 And we're stingy as fuck giving ourselves love. 149 00:17:36,817.972161 --> 00:17:42,77.971161 We can, we can be very withholding. 150 00:17:42,77.971161 --> 00:17:47,337.972161 We can withhold love, affection, acceptance from ourselves. 151 00:17:47,417.972161 --> 00:17:59,427.972161 And, um, when you look at a picture of your child and see you and have that much love for your child, it's an invitation to extend that. 152 00:17:59,792.972161 --> 00:18:08,12.972161 To yourself, it's an invitation to extend that to the, so the person that came before this little person that you love so much. 153 00:18:11,852.972161 --> 00:18:12,102.972161 Okay. 154 00:18:14,892.972161 --> 00:18:23,212.972161 What did I uncover? So two of the pictures that I chose for this month, so there are four pictures altogether. 155 00:18:23,212.972161 --> 00:18:30,762.972161 Two of the pictures are actually photographs I snapped of a book I was looking at when I was at, um, the, a museum. 156 00:18:31,542.972161 --> 00:18:32,192.972161 And. 157 00:18:32,272.972161 --> 00:19:03,82.971161 Um, the first one is what jumped at, jumped out at me when I think about bliss, like, I got that exhale that came to be after reading this quote and the quote is, the full quote is, when you learn to trust yourself implicitly, you no longer need to prove something through your art, you simply allow it to come out. 158 00:19:03,672.972161 --> 00:19:08,392.972161 To be as it is, this is when creating art becomes effortless. 159 00:19:08,982.972161 --> 00:19:11,162.972161 It happens just as you grow your hair. 160 00:19:12,142.972161 --> 00:19:12,792.972161 It grows. 161 00:19:14,112.972161 --> 00:19:17,692.972161 And that's by John, forgive me, I'm going to mispronounce this. 162 00:19:17,702.972161 --> 00:19:27,952.972161 John Dido Laurie? Um, I took these pictures, uh, these two pictures of these pages of this book that I have yet to order. 163 00:19:27,982.972161 --> 00:19:31,632.972161 So I'm looking forward to reading this book. 164 00:19:31,882.972161 --> 00:19:33,792.971161 I believe it's called the mindful photographer. 165 00:19:33,802.971161 --> 00:19:41,256.7416014 I think this is pure bliss to me because I think about how this is so effortless. 166 00:19:41,256.7416014 --> 00:19:50,46.7416014 When I have a camera to my face on the rest of my life, this is effort to It's really hard to embody this in a lot of other areas. 167 00:19:50,76.7416014 --> 00:20:33,266.7406014 And I think this is the phase and this is the season of life that I'm in is this onboarding, this merging of the world and the person I am in the world I'm in when I have a camera to my face and, and what happens when I'm, when I don't, uh, Something that I don't understand, but cannot deny, ironically, is this quote that is what I base all the work I do on. 168 00:20:33,336.7416014 --> 00:20:38,946.7416014 And yet, I still, this is why, you know, we teach what we need to learn. 169 00:20:39,416.7416014 --> 00:20:41,576.7416014 This is why I still tango with this bitch. 170 00:20:43,306.7416014 --> 00:20:49,236.7416014 If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy. 171 00:20:49,586.7406014 --> 00:20:53,256.7406014 It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. 172 00:20:53,826.7406014 --> 00:20:56,586.7416014 Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all. 173 00:20:56,996.7416014 --> 00:20:59,66.7416014 Perhaps we only need to wake up. 174 00:21:01,496.7416014 --> 00:21:03,396.7416014 And that is by Thomas. 175 00:21:03,836.7416014 --> 00:21:05,886.7416014 Morton, Martin, sorry. 176 00:21:05,886.7416014 --> 00:21:07,826.7416014 It's really, really small on the screen. 177 00:21:07,826.8416014 --> 00:21:12,806.7406014 Um, it's why we're doing this. 178 00:21:12,816.7416014 --> 00:21:19,646.7416014 It's why we're here right now, looking at our images and making meaning of them. 179 00:21:20,406.7416014 --> 00:21:23,156.7416014 We already saw these pictures that we're looking at. 180 00:21:23,366.7416014 --> 00:21:25,776.7416014 You already saw every picture you've taken. 181 00:21:26,356.7416014 --> 00:21:29,946.7406014 And there's so much wisdom in every single one of them. 182 00:21:31,576.7406014 --> 00:21:32,626.7416014 So much to glean. 183 00:21:34,76.7416014 --> 00:22:41,246.7416014 So much to perceive And it's like on the tip of your nose It's right there Tattooed and yet this practice this ritual of going back and looking and reflecting and connecting those dots Is Crucial to staying awake in our life Another picture I used is one of the pictures from when I stopped when I was driving from Carmel to San Francisco and it was sunset and the sun was rapidly changing and I was so tired and I just wanted to get home but I stopped like 4 or 5 times because the sun kept changing changing and the sky kept changing in this beautiful nuanced way and I had to stop. 184 00:22:41,346.7416014 --> 00:22:42,486.7416014 I had to pull over. 185 00:22:45,326.7416014 --> 00:22:48,906.7416014 And I think this is life. 186 00:22:48,976.7416014 --> 00:22:50,916.7416014 It's like you already have the momentum. 187 00:22:51,216.7416014 --> 00:22:52,696.7416014 You don't want to break that momentum. 188 00:22:52,696.7416014 --> 00:23:02,291.7416014 It already took enough energy, mental bandwidth, emotional bandwidth, To keep all the parts moving. 189 00:23:03,551.7416014 --> 00:23:06,81.7416014 Took so much effort to get to where we're at. 190 00:23:08,781.7416014 --> 00:23:16,571.7416014 But sometimes, stopping is the most important thing we could be doing. 191 00:23:19,481.7416014 --> 00:23:24,801.7416014 Stopping could stop you from going a million miles in the wrong direction. 192 00:23:34,701.7416014 --> 00:23:35,531.7416014 I am. 193 00:23:37,966.7416014 --> 00:23:50,286.7416014 The final image is a picture that was taken of me speaking, unbeknownst to me, at a candid photo, when I was at, um, uh, an Alex Soth workshop, um, at his home. 194 00:23:50,296.7416014 --> 00:23:56,286.7416014 And it was taken by one of my peers and, um, classmates, Arash. 195 00:23:57,166.7416014 --> 00:23:59,686.7416014 And, um, thank you, iresh. 196 00:24:01,218.3825669 --> 00:24:21,348.3825669 I look at that picture and when I think about if tomorrow didn't exist, what would I do today? And of course, it depends on the day and the energy, emotions of the day. 197 00:24:21,978.3825669 --> 00:24:26,688.3825669 But when I think about this, I think about living deeper and more fully into my life. 198 00:24:26,688.3825669 --> 00:24:35,868.3825669 And I think about expressing more and I think about being more prolific. 199 00:24:35,868.3825669 --> 00:24:53,128.3815669 I think about Letting myself get in those moments where I'm not aware, I was not aware that he was taking a photo because I was so deeply involved in whatever the fuck I was saying with my hands, of course, my eyes half open. 200 00:25:00,8.3815669 --> 00:25:09,508.3825669 When I look at this picture, I remember that I do have these moments of complete, full embodiment. 201 00:25:10,378.3825669 --> 00:25:22,488.3825669 Um, Um, that feel not like rare moments of life, but like the moments on steroids, like, Ooh, like that rev of the engine. 202 00:25:22,488.4825669 --> 00:25:26,558.3825669 And I want more of that. 203 00:25:34,31.1909263 --> 00:25:36,41.1909263 So those are the pictures they're done. 204 00:25:37,721.1909263 --> 00:25:41,321.1909263 And when I reflect on the journal questions. 205 00:25:41,801.1909263 --> 00:25:42,791.1909263 Uh, here's what I wrote. 206 00:25:46,901.1909263 --> 00:25:53,231.1909263 If I let myself, except my full power, I would move with strength and ease versus trepidation. 207 00:25:53,771.1909263 --> 00:25:56,801.1909263 I would be more bold about fulfilling my own needs. 208 00:25:56,801.1909263 --> 00:25:59,231.1909263 I wouldn't shy away or downplay my joy. 209 00:25:59,231.1909263 --> 00:25:59,771.1909263 It's okay. 210 00:25:59,771.1909263 --> 00:26:00,611.1909263 To be happy. 211 00:26:00,641.1909263 --> 00:26:01,61.1909263 It's okay. 212 00:26:01,61.1909263 --> 00:26:01,961.1909263 To show joy. 213 00:26:02,21.1909263 --> 00:26:02,561.1909263 It's okay. 214 00:26:02,561.1909263 --> 00:26:03,731.1909263 To let down my guard. 215 00:26:04,361.1909263 --> 00:26:06,281.1909263 It's okay to own myself. 216 00:26:06,431.1909263 --> 00:26:07,781.1909263 It's okay to sing. 217 00:26:08,141.1909263 --> 00:26:08,741.1909263 It's okay. 218 00:26:08,741.1909263 --> 00:26:12,821.1909263 To follow lightness without betraying or abandoning the alternative. 219 00:26:14,111.1909263 --> 00:26:15,681.1909263 If it all ended abruptly. 220 00:26:15,701.1909263 --> 00:26:18,671.1909263 I'm so fucking glad I owned my time. 221 00:26:19,331.1909263 --> 00:26:23,591.1909263 I'm glad I woke up and continue to wake up again and again, and again. 222 00:26:24,701.1909263 --> 00:26:30,71.1909263 Remember, forget, remember, forget not a problem, but the point. 223 00:26:31,301.1909263 --> 00:26:34,871.1909263 I'm so glad I didn't let fear hold me back from taking risks. 224 00:26:36,71.1909263 --> 00:26:37,731.1909263 Nothing is really a risk afterall. 225 00:26:37,751.1909263 --> 00:26:39,201.1909263 All all a facade. 226 00:26:40,371.1909263 --> 00:26:44,421.1909263 The biggest risk I could take is ignoring my desires for my one and only life. 227 00:26:46,521.1909263 --> 00:26:48,21.1909263 I wish I could have explored more. 228 00:26:48,381.1909263 --> 00:26:49,401.1909263 I wish I could have. 229 00:26:50,241.1909263 --> 00:26:53,361.1909263 Been more diligent in optimizing my energy. 230 00:26:53,421.1909263 --> 00:26:56,661.1909263 I wish I would have published, perform, spoke more. 231 00:26:57,531.1909263 --> 00:26:58,941.1909263 Deeper fuller more. 232 00:26:59,841.1909263 --> 00:27:03,291.1909263 I wish I would have found ways to enjoy play with my kids. 233 00:27:03,981.1909263 --> 00:27:09,561.1909263 I wish I would have relaxed and found more fun, found my version of fun. 234 00:27:12,231.1909263 --> 00:27:23,271.1909263 I am the moment when I don't let inconvenience, stop me from pulling over five times because the sun going down on the coast is too much to offer and it's breathtaking, nuanced change. 235 00:27:24,531.1909263 --> 00:27:29,721.1909263 I am the moment when I honor what is instead of pushing to orchestrate a sure thing. 236 00:27:30,951.1909263 --> 00:27:33,621.1909263 I am the moment when I am humble to the moment. 237 00:27:40,521.1909263 --> 00:27:41,211.1909263 And so. 238 00:27:42,141.1909263 --> 00:27:45,891.1909263 The most important realization for me in September, 2024. 239 00:27:47,331.1909263 --> 00:27:48,651.1909263 In one sentence. 240 00:27:49,11.1909263 --> 00:27:50,331.1909263 Here's what the template demands. 241 00:27:52,871.1909263 --> 00:27:53,621.1909263 It's all here. 242 00:27:55,211.1909263 --> 00:28:00,311.1909263 I just desire softer and harder simultaneously. 243 00:28:02,471.1909263 --> 00:28:08,171.1909263 I will pay attention to when I need softness, I will take advantage of energy and create more. 244 00:28:08,741.1909263 --> 00:28:10,871.1909263 I will honor my energy and my health. 245 00:28:11,381.1909263 --> 00:28:16,511.1909263 I will honor my family and I will honor exploration of my ever evolving self. 246 00:28:19,921.1909263 --> 00:29:39,290.95068 Honoring our ever evolving self, that is what it's about because the suffering that happens when we know we are out of alignment with what we want and what's right for us is what creates a life of tension and stress and regret and You know, a lot of the work that I do is around identity and a lot of the excavation and, you know, getting certified in neuro linguistic programming and, you know, learning about quantum linguistics and all this stuff that I've done has been a deeply important part of me looking into, you know, Why am I the way that I am? Why? Anyone watch The Office? Why are you all of the things that you choose to be? Um, was watching, Um, this old documentary on Anais Nin. 247 00:29:40,550.95068 --> 00:29:50,680.95068 And because I read, I didn't know about her, of her, and there were a couple of quotes that came across my feed recently and I was like punched in the face. 248 00:29:50,910.95068 --> 00:29:53,80.94968 I was like, Oh my God, it was this woman. 249 00:29:53,120.94968 --> 00:29:54,70.95068 Oh my gosh. 250 00:29:54,960.95068 --> 00:30:12,200.95068 And, um, I watched this documentary on her from like 1998 and then a, uh, another presentation someone did on her and what he said of her. 251 00:30:12,725.95068 --> 00:31:01,823.9759895 I realized is what I want for me in my life, not in the way that she lived it out because ma'am had a life, man, she, if you don't know of her or about her, wow, she made some choices and but in the way of someone being so unapologetically alive in her life, whether or not it is the All of the actions in it are the noble or proper thing to do, I'll put it that way. 252 00:31:04,363.9759895 --> 00:31:31,672.9043831 She lived free and untamed, and in going to those edges and those brinks of extreme aliveness, she was able to retrieve for us an expression that we can all connect to in whatever way we do, whatever way resonates for us. 253 00:31:32,837.1567301 --> 00:31:50,247.1567301 She spoke of the desire to use both the symbol and the interpretation of the symbol from the unconscious put on the page, the expression of living moments. 254 00:31:56,937.1567301 --> 00:32:02,747.1567301 And to her, the living moment is the immediate emotional reaction to experience. 255 00:32:02,747.2567301 --> 00:32:14,302.1567301 And this aha for me is like, this is how I, this is how I, interpret, this is how I function. 256 00:32:14,622.1567301 --> 00:32:28,660.7394966 When I think about our relationship to photographic practice, that immediate unfiltered instinct, not concerned with shame or perception or. 257 00:32:28,660.7394966 --> 00:32:35,67.4061632 Whatever the fuck it is, photography is just my way to get there. 258 00:32:35,97.4061632 --> 00:32:55,747.4061632 And I think that it's in very underrated way to get to that place of like, Oh, who am I when I'm not trying to be what people expect me to be or what my past life identity has anchored me into being, or, but it is very much fucking here now, present moment meditation. 259 00:32:56,27.4061632 --> 00:32:58,827.4061632 But if you can get to that, through another way. 260 00:32:58,905.8609815 --> 00:33:04,5.8609815 If you could get to that in any other way, whatever it is, then screw the photographs. 261 00:33:04,435.8609815 --> 00:33:05,255.8609815 Do it that way. 262 00:33:05,645.8609815 --> 00:33:07,25.8609815 But this is the work of our lives. 263 00:33:07,55.8599815 --> 00:33:14,155.8609815 This is the, this is the greatest gift that we could give to both ourself and the world. 264 00:33:14,185.8609815 --> 00:33:30,250.8609815 And I think that it takes a really heavy lift to get to the point to let it sink into our brains that what is good for you is best for everyone. 265 00:33:30,540.8599815 --> 00:33:32,620.8604815 Because we're programmed to think that that is selfish. 266 00:33:32,620.8604815 --> 00:33:36,670.8609815 We're programmed to think that these two cannot exist at once. 267 00:33:36,670.8609815 --> 00:33:49,750.8609815 Like there has to be a sacrifice and um, perhaps in, in some way that could be so, but I also think that there's another way to look at it where. 268 00:33:50,590.8609815 --> 00:33:55,560.8609815 Not only is it not a sacrifice, but it's the highest gift for all involved. 269 00:33:55,600.8609815 --> 00:34:00,900.8609815 But you just have to ride that wave long enough to find that out. 270 00:34:01,110.8609815 --> 00:34:06,420.8599815 It's not only about instant proof and gratification. 271 00:34:06,430.8609815 --> 00:34:09,672.2840664 And, but look, results, results. 272 00:34:10,452.2840664 --> 00:34:14,142.2840664 We know, like we know, like we know that the most. 273 00:34:15,702.2840664 --> 00:34:17,862.2840664 Um, vital things. 274 00:34:18,612.2840664 --> 00:34:19,662.2840664 In life. 275 00:34:20,382.2840664 --> 00:34:21,822.2840664 And the human experience. 276 00:34:23,82.2840664 --> 00:34:24,222.2840664 We can't see. 277 00:34:25,902.2840664 --> 00:34:27,852.2840664 You can't see. 278 00:34:28,812.2840664 --> 00:34:29,472.2840664 Err. 279 00:34:30,222.2840664 --> 00:34:34,572.2840664 You can't see everything that's available to you at all times. 280 00:34:34,932.2840664 --> 00:34:35,892.2840664 Like think about. 281 00:34:36,462.2840664 --> 00:34:38,952.2840664 I'm going to Paris next month. 282 00:34:39,522.2840664 --> 00:34:44,52.2840664 Um, and, and traveling with my mom from Paris to Florence and. 283 00:34:44,742.2840664 --> 00:34:46,512.2840664 I haven't paid any mind to it. 284 00:34:46,512.2840664 --> 00:34:47,622.2840664 I've been so. 285 00:34:48,372.2840664 --> 00:34:49,272.2840664 There's busy. 286 00:34:49,272.2840664 --> 00:34:53,922.2840664 I hate hesitancy, but so busy because it's not, I don't know. 287 00:34:54,582.2840664 --> 00:34:56,772.2840664 I think sometimes we get really married to saying that. 288 00:34:56,802.2840664 --> 00:34:58,782.2840664 And like, then invisibly start. 289 00:34:59,352.2840664 --> 00:35:01,332.2840664 Taking pride in, like, I'm just so busy. 290 00:35:02,322.2840664 --> 00:35:06,42.2840664 Um, And. 291 00:35:07,122.2840664 --> 00:35:11,202.2840664 I was looking at last night, I was putting the kids to bed and I was looking at Airbnb is on my phone. 292 00:35:11,202.2840664 --> 00:35:16,482.2840664 And I was like all of a sudden got so excited and I have to be honest, I haven't been excited. 293 00:35:16,812.2840664 --> 00:35:17,412.2840664 To go. 294 00:35:18,132.2840664 --> 00:35:23,742.2840664 I am so grateful for this opportunity to take this trip with my mom, but I also have not. 295 00:35:24,762.2840664 --> 00:35:25,782.2840664 It's just like, wow. 296 00:35:25,812.2840664 --> 00:35:27,222.2840664 It came out of nowhere. 297 00:35:27,252.2840664 --> 00:35:28,842.2840664 I decided I'm going. 298 00:35:28,932.2840664 --> 00:35:33,882.2840664 Cause I'm going to see my work up in a show in an exhibit in. 299 00:35:34,212.2840664 --> 00:35:34,692.2840664 Paris. 300 00:35:34,722.2840664 --> 00:35:38,292.2840664 I am just not going to let one more show go by where I just don't. 301 00:35:38,772.2840664 --> 00:35:41,142.2840664 Go and see my own work and give myself that respect. 302 00:35:41,622.2840664 --> 00:35:42,192.2840664 So. 303 00:35:43,812.2840664 --> 00:35:47,82.2840664 I just haven't really had a chance to think about it. 304 00:35:47,682.2840664 --> 00:35:51,942.2840664 And I'm like looking at these photographs of these Airbnbs and I'm like, oh my gosh. 305 00:35:52,722.2840664 --> 00:35:54,12.2840664 Look at what's available. 306 00:35:54,42.2840664 --> 00:35:55,752.2840664 It's so beautiful. 307 00:35:56,742.2840664 --> 00:36:01,272.2840664 And my brain just opened up and it's like, oh yeah, It's an it. 308 00:36:01,992.2840664 --> 00:36:07,722.2840664 It's not something that I have a previous picture of because I've never been, so my mind. 309 00:36:08,442.2840664 --> 00:36:09,912.2840664 And my heart and my soul. 310 00:36:10,662.2840664 --> 00:36:11,322.2840664 Weren't. 311 00:36:12,252.2840664 --> 00:36:17,532.2840664 In a default way, excited to explore and make time for that. 312 00:36:18,42.2840664 --> 00:36:23,532.2840664 And now that I'm like looking at these air BMPs and like actually putting some time into. 313 00:36:24,402.2840664 --> 00:36:28,212.2840664 Exploring and doing research and whatever it's like, oh yeah. 314 00:36:28,992.2840664 --> 00:36:32,442.2840664 The world opens up literally and figuratively. 315 00:36:32,832.2840664 --> 00:36:33,192.2840664 Right. 316 00:36:33,822.2840664 --> 00:36:34,542.2840664 All of those. 317 00:36:35,22.2840664 --> 00:36:44,52.2840664 Amazing gorgeous places exist, even if we've never seen them, even if we've never put any effort into going there and the same as so for our life. 318 00:36:44,52.2840664 --> 00:36:47,382.2840664 And you don't have to travel to fucking Europe, which even though. 319 00:36:47,832.2840664 --> 00:36:58,842.2840664 I'm very looking forward to traveling to Europe, but you don't have to travel outside of anywhere, but your own backyard, your own home, your own mind, your own soul to be able to access this depth of openness. 320 00:36:59,352.2840664 --> 00:36:59,832.2840664 And. 321 00:36:59,832.2840664 --> 00:37:07,812.2840664 That is what makes it so magical with the photographs that we take, because it's like a little peep hole into our internal worlds. 322 00:37:07,812.2840664 --> 00:37:09,102.2840664 And through that. 323 00:37:09,582.2840664 --> 00:37:13,212.2840664 Through being more aware of our internal worlds, we're able to. 324 00:37:14,922.2840664 --> 00:37:18,162.2840664 Intentionally and consciously decide. 325 00:37:18,162.2840664 --> 00:37:20,682.2840664 To open more decide. 326 00:37:20,922.2840664 --> 00:37:23,292.2840664 Oh, I'm, I'm seeing this. 327 00:37:23,682.2840664 --> 00:37:25,152.2840664 Do I want this to be so. 328 00:37:26,852.2840664 --> 00:37:28,952.2840664 Breadcrumbs breadcrumbs breadcrumbs. 329 00:37:29,462.2840664 --> 00:37:31,592.2840664 Uh, flashlight in the dark forest. 330 00:37:32,42.2840664 --> 00:37:33,992.2840664 Can only aluminate so far ahead. 331 00:37:34,412.2840664 --> 00:37:37,322.2840664 And the only way you can get it to shine further. 332 00:37:37,742.2840664 --> 00:37:38,792.2840664 Is to take a step. 333 00:37:39,272.2840664 --> 00:37:41,492.2840664 Is to physically take that step. 334 00:37:41,942.2840664 --> 00:37:43,172.2840664 And then you can see a little more. 335 00:37:43,742.2840664 --> 00:37:46,262.2840664 And then take another step and see a little more, but. 336 00:37:47,342.2840664 --> 00:37:51,482.2840664 You're taking the steps based off of how far you can see. 337 00:37:51,482.2840664 --> 00:37:53,72.2840664 And it doesn't work like that. 338 00:37:56,282.2840664 --> 00:37:57,362.2840664 It doesn't work like that. 339 00:37:57,422.2840664 --> 00:38:00,572.2840664 If you're looking to be. 340 00:38:00,572.2840664 --> 00:38:04,622.2840664 Surprised and delighted by the miracles that life has to offer. 341 00:38:06,242.2840664 --> 00:38:07,772.2840664 It can work like that. 342 00:38:10,172.2840664 --> 00:38:14,432.2840664 But you will only ever get what you can see with your own two. 343 00:38:14,522.2840664 --> 00:38:15,2.2840664 Eyes. 344 00:38:16,772.2840664 --> 00:38:18,872.2840664 If that's the only thing you're willing to trust. 345 00:38:23,822.2840664 --> 00:38:25,142.2840664 So we come back full circle. 346 00:38:27,32.2840664 --> 00:38:30,242.2840664 What are the quotes that I put in? My sheet. 347 00:38:30,722.2840664 --> 00:38:31,712.2840664 Or my template. 348 00:38:33,632.2840664 --> 00:38:34,532.2840664 The two things. 349 00:38:34,532.2840664 --> 00:38:37,952.2840664 The things that I was very casually flipping through. 350 00:38:38,732.2840664 --> 00:38:43,472.2840664 Um, a photo book in SF MoMA, as I was waiting for my phone to charge. 351 00:38:44,12.2840664 --> 00:38:44,762.2840664 How they so. 352 00:38:46,472.2840664 --> 00:38:48,482.2840664 Kindly offer those in the museum. 353 00:38:49,892.2840664 --> 00:38:53,192.2840664 And it says when you learn to trust yourself, implicitly. 354 00:38:53,702.2840664 --> 00:38:56,462.2840664 You no longer need to prove something. 355 00:38:58,262.2840664 --> 00:38:59,162.2840664 Through your art. 356 00:38:59,942.2840664 --> 00:39:00,902.2840664 Through your life. 357 00:39:03,542.2840664 --> 00:39:05,282.2840664 You simply allow it to come. 358 00:39:05,672.2840664 --> 00:39:06,872.2840664 And to be, as it is. 359 00:39:07,592.2840664 --> 00:39:09,2.2840664 And this is when creating. 360 00:39:09,572.2840664 --> 00:39:13,202.2840664 Art and creating a life you love becomes effortless. 361 00:39:14,282.2840664 --> 00:39:15,212.2840664 It happens. 362 00:39:16,712.2840664 --> 00:39:17,702.2840664 It just grows. 363 00:39:22,502.2840664 --> 00:39:27,512.2840664 And then that other quote was if one reaches the point where understanding fails. 364 00:39:29,42.2840664 --> 00:39:30,782.2840664 This is not a tragedy. 365 00:39:31,832.2840664 --> 00:39:35,822.2840664 It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking. 366 00:39:37,802.2840664 --> 00:39:40,292.2840664 Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all. 367 00:39:40,982.2840664 --> 00:39:43,22.2840664 Perhaps we only need to wake up. 368 00:39:44,882.2840664 --> 00:39:45,992.2840664 Perhaps we. 369 00:39:47,132.2840664 --> 00:39:52,982.2840664 Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something. 370 00:39:54,32.2840664 --> 00:39:55,52.2840664 Letting yourself. 371 00:39:55,502.2840664 --> 00:39:56,432.2840664 See it. 372 00:39:59,762.2840664 --> 00:40:03,872.2840664 Look at the pictures that you put on your template, look at the pictures that you reflected on. 373 00:40:03,872.2840664 --> 00:40:08,642.2840664 And if you're, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now. 374 00:40:09,872.2840664 --> 00:40:11,702.2840664 And let yourself stop. 375 00:40:12,722.2840664 --> 00:40:14,972.2840664 At an image that makes you want to stop. 376 00:40:16,22.2840664 --> 00:40:17,402.2840664 Exercise that muscle. 377 00:40:17,732.2840664 --> 00:40:20,402.2840664 Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse. 378 00:40:20,852.2840664 --> 00:40:25,172.2840664 And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see. 379 00:40:25,802.2840664 --> 00:40:29,42.2840664 Beyond it to see deeper to go through it. 380 00:40:29,972.2840664 --> 00:40:36,992.2840664 To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle. 381 00:40:37,562.2840664 --> 00:40:38,942.2840664 That's not very flattering on. 382 00:40:40,172.2840664 --> 00:40:41,852.2840664 And you go deeper into it. 383 00:40:42,32.2840664 --> 00:40:42,602.2840664 What. 384 00:40:43,532.2840664 --> 00:40:44,972.2840664 Is this picture telling you. 385 00:40:47,522.2840664 --> 00:40:54,602.2840664 What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it. 386 00:40:54,872.2840664 --> 00:40:58,142.2840664 The relationship there, that exact moment. 387 00:40:58,142.2840664 --> 00:41:04,832.2840664 What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? What happened? Like just let yourself swirl. 388 00:41:05,12.2840664 --> 00:41:08,582.2840664 We swirl over the most horrific shit. 389 00:41:09,2.2840664 --> 00:41:15,272.2840664 The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something that is meaningful. 390 00:41:15,602.2840664 --> 00:41:19,502.2840664 And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life. 391 00:41:19,862.2840664 --> 00:41:21,812.2840664 Swirl around the pictures you're taking. 392 00:41:24,2.2840664 --> 00:41:26,312.2840664 Let yourself swirl around yourself. 393 00:41:27,842.2840664 --> 00:41:30,602.2840664 It's okay to give yourself that much attention. 394 00:41:31,382.2840664 --> 00:41:32,252.2840664 And regard. 395 00:41:33,962.2840664 --> 00:41:35,212.2840664 And time and. 396 00:41:36,772.2840664 --> 00:41:37,282.2840664 Love. 397 00:41:44,302.2840664 --> 00:41:45,532.2840664 It really is. 398 00:41:46,852.2840664 --> 00:41:52,192.2840664 Trippy how the longer we let ourselves sit with something in marinate. 399 00:41:53,362.2840664 --> 00:41:55,132.2840664 We can find the thread. 400 00:41:55,162.2840664 --> 00:41:56,992.2840664 We can connect the thread. 401 00:41:57,622.2840664 --> 00:41:59,302.2840664 In everything we're doing. 402 00:41:59,722.2840664 --> 00:42:01,312.2840664 And everything we're not doing. 403 00:42:01,612.2840664 --> 00:42:04,372.2840664 And we begin to let ourselves. 404 00:42:05,752.2840664 --> 00:42:08,542.2840664 Oh, wake into our own power and wisdom. 405 00:42:09,172.2840664 --> 00:42:09,832.2840664 In this life. 406 00:42:13,822.2840664 --> 00:42:15,892.2840664 And I will never stop talking about this. 407 00:42:21,922.2840664 --> 00:42:23,422.2840664 I hope that. 408 00:42:23,422.2840664 --> 00:42:31,602.2840664 If you are a part of, The sacred seeing community and did the nostalgia now template, I hope that you had, an eye-opening experience. 409 00:42:31,602.2840664 --> 00:42:33,312.2840664 I would love to hear. 410 00:42:33,742.2840664 --> 00:42:39,172.2840664 what came up for you? If you feel so inspired to share, feel free to send me a message on sub stack. 411 00:42:39,172.2840664 --> 00:42:41,502.2840664 You can private DM messages on sub stack. 412 00:42:41,812.2840664 --> 00:42:43,102.2840664 you could also find me on Instagram. 413 00:42:43,852.2840664 --> 00:42:54,372.2840664 Uh, and if you did not, if you're not part of the, member space in sub stack, I hope that this inspired you to take a moment and scroll through the last month of your life. 414 00:42:55,92.2840664 --> 00:42:56,352.2840664 And let yourself stop. 415 00:42:56,402.2840664 --> 00:42:57,372.2840664 at a few images. 416 00:42:58,62.2840664 --> 00:42:59,682.2840664 And if you feel compelled to journal. 417 00:43:00,72.2840664 --> 00:43:01,182.2840664 Without the template. 418 00:43:02,292.2840664 --> 00:43:05,82.2840664 Just go ahead and open a notebook and write what comes up. 419 00:43:05,292.2840664 --> 00:43:07,602.2840664 Let yourself completely stream of consciousness. 420 00:43:08,892.2840664 --> 00:43:09,522.2840664 Right. 421 00:43:09,612.2840664 --> 00:43:16,512.2840664 What happens for you when you let yourself sit? With the moments that you deemed important enough to photograph. 422 00:43:19,412.2840664 --> 00:43:20,942.2840664 We are alive. 423 00:43:27,62.2840664 --> 00:43:28,292.2840664 We are sitting here. 424 00:43:29,222.2840664 --> 00:43:33,2.2840664 With invisible oxygen going in and out of our body. 425 00:43:34,52.2840664 --> 00:43:36,932.2840664 Blood pumping through our veins that we can't see. 426 00:43:38,132.2840664 --> 00:43:40,652.2840664 It's all happening and we're alive. 427 00:43:41,822.2840664 --> 00:43:42,902.2840664 And it's America. 428 00:43:48,842.2840664 --> 00:43:51,32.2840664 What a shame it would be. 429 00:43:54,212.2840664 --> 00:43:57,482.2840664 To take that for granted what a shame it would be. 430 00:43:59,882.2840664 --> 00:44:05,372.2840664 To not take the miracle of that and just live. 431 00:44:05,912.2840664 --> 00:44:07,382.2840664 The way you want to live. 432 00:44:07,772.2840664 --> 00:44:09,212.2840664 That is what I want for you. 433 00:44:09,362.2840664 --> 00:44:10,682.2840664 Oh, this is what I want for me. 434 00:44:10,982.2840664 --> 00:44:15,182.2840664 And I don't mean, oh, construct these grand ambitions. 435 00:44:15,212.2840664 --> 00:44:21,872.2840664 And I mean, Just get quiet and listen to yourself. 436 00:44:22,472.2840664 --> 00:44:34,892.2840664 What do you really want? Do you want to move to a farm? Do you want to look for a remote job, but because you're so sick of commuting, do you want to. 437 00:44:36,482.2840664 --> 00:44:38,732.2840664 Speak more publicly. 438 00:44:40,532.2840664 --> 00:44:42,92.2840664 Do you want to. 439 00:44:46,292.2840664 --> 00:44:47,972.2840664 Homeschool your kids. 440 00:44:49,682.2840664 --> 00:44:51,302.2840664 Do you want to. 441 00:44:53,822.2840664 --> 00:44:55,712.2840664 Start taking cooking classes. 442 00:44:57,482.2840664 --> 00:45:03,812.2840664 What do you want to do? Do you want to go have a cup of tea? Start small. 443 00:45:04,952.2840664 --> 00:45:05,792.2840664 Build the muscle. 444 00:45:07,112.2840664 --> 00:45:12,902.2840664 What are you going to do right now? As you stop listening to this? I am going to. 445 00:45:15,122.2840664 --> 00:45:17,642.2840664 Get up and go hug my dog. 446 00:45:18,512.2840664 --> 00:45:20,672.2840664 Live with my dog on the ground. 447 00:45:20,822.2840664 --> 00:45:21,752.2840664 For a few minutes. 448 00:45:23,132.2840664 --> 00:45:31,472.2840664 What are you going to do? What will you do? With this one and only life. 449 00:45:36,62.2840664 --> 00:45:37,742.2840664 Sending you love and light. 450 00:45:37,772.2840664 --> 00:45:38,402.2840664 Enjoy. 451 00:45:39,62.2840664 --> 00:45:39,812.2840664 And power. 452 00:45:41,942.2840664 --> 00:45:42,512.2840664 See you next time. 453 00:45:43,549.1774904 --> 00:45:46,769.1774904 This has been an Awkward Sage Production.