Photography as Meditation: Being in the pulse of your life.

waking up with a racing chest. putting your brain in front of your divine inspiration/intuition. letting yourself hear what you are trying to tell yourself through the photos you take. "WAIT! I gotta get mommy a flower!" click click click. wake up. click click click. let the light in.

opens up this well of knowledge and wisdom and witnessing of yourself that can actually help you live your life more deeply.

It opens everything up to what really actually matters. The only thing that matters is right now. And right now, whatever, you're looking at, pressing a button to, there is something so earth shatteringly vital about that because you're choosing to do that.

You are intuitively choosing, “this” out of everything available to you in your whole life. This. Now.

 

BREAKING NEWS: Each podcast episode will now also be published on substack. A new labor of love in pairing words and imagery. SHOW REFERENCE NOTES: PEA THE FEARY HAYLEY CARR  NOTES from Bianca: 1:1 BREAKTHROUGH VISION SESSION https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/ Check out my newest offer- REMOTE PHOTO SESSIONS for emerging artists.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
.0000000001And it opens up.

(00:01):
This well of knowledge and wisdom and.
Uh, witnessing of yourself that can actually help you live your life more deeply.
Like opened everything up to what really actually matters.
The only thing that matters.
Is right now.
And right now, whatever, you're looking at, pressing a button to.

(00:26):
There is something so.
Earth shatteringly vital about that.
Because you're choosing to do that.
You were.
Intuitively choosing.
This out of everything available to you in your whole life. 14 00:02:48,43.33333333 --> 00:02:48,403.33333333 Good. 15 00:02:50,743.33333333 --> 00:02:51,583.33333333 Good morning. 16 00:02:55,453.33333333 --> 00:02:58,723.33333333 Oh, I haven't spoken a word yet. 17 00:03:00,13.33333333 --> 00:03:01,723.33333333 It's six 30 in the morning. 18 00:03:05,83.33333333 --> 00:03:07,843.33333333 I already recorded the podcast episode yesterday. 19 00:03:07,843.33333333 --> 00:03:08,383.33333333 But. 20 00:03:08,383.33333333 --> 00:03:09,553.33333333 This felt pressing. 21 00:03:12,213.33333333 --> 00:03:13,143.33333333 I wake up. 22 00:03:16,773.33333333 --> 00:03:19,743.33333333 Oftentimes I wake up with. 23 00:03:20,763.33333333 --> 00:03:21,993.33333333 Oh racing. 24 00:03:23,73.33333333 --> 00:03:23,673.33333333 Chest. 25 00:03:23,673.33333333 --> 00:03:28,473.33333333 I just like something sitting on my chest. 26 00:03:28,803.33333333 --> 00:03:31,443.33333333 And thinking of all the things. 27 00:03:32,883.33333333 --> 00:03:35,253.33333333 I have to do or want to do. 28 00:03:37,293.33333333 --> 00:03:39,93.33333333 But the most frustrating. 29 00:03:40,683.33333333 --> 00:03:42,843.33333333 Part is the translation. 30 00:03:44,343.33333333 --> 00:03:47,733.33333333 I start thinking of things I want to create. 31 00:03:49,293.33333333 --> 00:03:50,703.33333333 Well things I want to make. 32 00:03:51,633.33333333 --> 00:03:55,653.33333333 And as I'm laying there in bed, I guess the sun's not even up. 33 00:03:57,903.33333333 --> 00:03:59,553.33333333 I start feeling this. 34 00:04:00,63.33333333 --> 00:04:01,233.33333333 Agitation. 35 00:04:02,103.33333333 --> 00:04:04,893.33333333 Because my brain is trying to. 36 00:04:05,853.33333333 --> 00:04:06,993.33333333 Translate. 37 00:04:09,693.33333333 --> 00:04:10,563.33333333 My gut. 38 00:04:14,563.33333333 --> 00:04:16,663.33333333 And I'm realizing. 39 00:04:17,923.33333333 --> 00:04:20,23.33333333 That doesn't work. 40 00:04:24,883.33333333 --> 00:04:26,923.33333333 I was on a call and. 41 00:04:28,603.33333333 --> 00:04:29,683.33333333 A coaching call. 42 00:04:30,103.33333333 --> 00:04:33,553.33333333 And I had explained that I have this really frustrating. 43 00:04:35,203.33333333 --> 00:04:41,53.33333333 Sensation of like, So much enthusiasm and energy. 44 00:04:42,733.33333333 --> 00:04:44,233.33333333 Things I want to do. 45 00:04:44,713.33333333 --> 00:04:48,523.33333333 And create and experience. 46 00:04:49,483.33333333 --> 00:04:51,73.33333333 And then it feels like. 47 00:04:52,933.33333333 --> 00:04:54,733.33333333 My forehead. 48 00:04:57,73.33333333 --> 00:04:58,33.33333333 The brain. 49 00:04:58,513.33333333 --> 00:05:05,983.33333333 He was like, I get the visual of like this alien movie, like, oh, like it's trying his hardest to. 50 00:05:06,613.33333333 --> 00:05:07,303.33333333 Speak. 51 00:05:08,113.33333333 --> 00:05:09,373.33333333 And to make sense. 52 00:05:09,943.33333333 --> 00:05:10,933.33333333 Of the. 53 00:05:13,723.33333333 --> 00:05:17,743.33333333 Intuition and the gut and the creator and the visionary. 54 00:05:22,123.33333333 --> 00:05:23,863.33333333 But I'm asking it to do. 55 00:05:23,863.33333333 --> 00:05:25,453.33333333 It's a job that. 56 00:05:27,283.33333333 --> 00:05:28,273.33333333 It's impossible. 57 00:05:28,273.33333333 --> 00:05:29,23.33333333 For it to do. 58 00:05:32,83.33333333 --> 00:05:33,643.33333333 The person guiding this call. 59 00:05:33,703.33333333 --> 00:05:35,913.33333333 Um, her name is Pea the Feary. 60 00:05:36,733.33333333 --> 00:05:38,983.33333333 And she is. 61 00:05:39,313.33333333 --> 00:05:44,863.33333333 Magical bad-ass and, um, She said. 62 00:05:45,283.33333333 --> 00:05:49,603.33333333 Can you innovate? The. 63 00:05:50,413.33333333 --> 00:05:51,163.33333333 Mind. 64 00:05:51,973.33333333 --> 00:05:53,323.33333333 To sit in the back seat. 65 00:05:58,123.33333333 --> 00:05:59,233.33333333 The mind can come out. 66 00:06:00,403.33333333 --> 00:06:06,193.33333333 Later after the transmission is complete after. 67 00:06:07,453.33333333 --> 00:06:08,863.33333333 That flow. 68 00:06:09,373.33333333 --> 00:06:10,603.33333333 Has taken place. 69 00:06:11,713.33333333 --> 00:06:12,133.33333333 But. 70 00:06:16,363.33333333 --> 00:06:17,833.33333333 Putting it in front. 71 00:06:18,793.33333333 --> 00:06:21,973.33333333 Of the visionary of your gut of your intuition. 72 00:06:23,863.33333333 --> 00:06:24,853.33333333 It's like stunting. 73 00:06:25,693.33333333 --> 00:06:26,143.33333333 Mate. 74 00:06:26,143.33333333 --> 00:06:30,433.33333333 So like, as soon as she said that, I was like, Yes. 75 00:06:30,943.33333333 --> 00:06:31,483.33333333 Oh, my God. 76 00:06:31,483.33333333 --> 00:06:32,383.33333333 Yes. 77 00:06:35,203.33333333 --> 00:06:41,593.33333333 That's why it's never a problem when I'm taking photos, because I never let that bitch ass mind in front of my. 78 00:06:45,943.33333333 --> 00:06:49,303.33333333 Um, It's like, oh my God. 79 00:06:50,443.33333333 --> 00:06:50,623.33333333 Yeah. 80 00:06:50,683.33333333 --> 00:06:56,833.33333333 Like in, even as I was laying in bed this morning, like five 30, I'm like, ah, Go fucking back to sleep. 81 00:06:56,923.33333333 --> 00:06:57,973.33333333 Oh my gosh. 82 00:06:58,33.33333333 --> 00:06:58,933.33333333 Go back to sleep. 83 00:06:59,983.33333333 --> 00:07:01,783.33333333 And I just kept thinking, thinking. 84 00:07:02,533.33333333 --> 00:07:10,903.33333333 About this feeling inside of me of like, oh, And like a writing, like in my head as I was. 85 00:07:10,903.33333333 --> 00:07:11,773.33333333 Laying there. 86 00:07:14,533.33333333 --> 00:07:15,583.33333333 But I noticed. 87 00:07:15,943.33333333 --> 00:07:17,83.33333333 It wasn't just thoughts. 88 00:07:17,83.33333333 --> 00:07:19,243.33333333 It was, I was editing it too. 89 00:07:19,843.33333333 --> 00:07:21,583.33333333 And that's the problem. 90 00:07:25,123.33333333 --> 00:07:27,133.33333333 We're not here to edit. 91 00:07:27,823.33333333 --> 00:07:32,203.33333333 Like a channeling of creative energy and vision. 92 00:07:32,293.33333333 --> 00:07:32,593.33333333 And. 93 00:07:35,23.33333333 --> 00:07:43,123.33333333 We have to open and let all of that through in its full embodiment and expansion expansion, and all of that. 94 00:07:44,383.33333333 --> 00:07:45,823.33333333 And then we can come visit it. 95 00:07:47,233.33333333 --> 00:07:48,493.33333333 And take a look. 96 00:07:50,233.33333333 --> 00:07:52,153.33333333 And I'm not like vilifying your brains. 97 00:07:52,303.33333333 --> 00:07:53,803.33333333 Brains are fricking incredible. 98 00:07:54,823.33333333 --> 00:07:55,333.33333333 But. 99 00:07:56,793.33333333 --> 00:08:04,53.33333333 I think we, oh, we put them too high on a pedestal in comparison to our gut and that inner. 100 00:08:05,973.33333333 --> 00:08:09,153.33333333 Magic in every one of us. 101 00:08:10,383.33333333 --> 00:08:19,953.33333333 And actually, this is perfect because, um, The episode I recorded yesterday that I will plug in after this little. 102 00:08:20,823.33333333 --> 00:08:22,503.33333333 Earliest morning spiel. 103 00:08:23,43.33333333 --> 00:08:25,143.33333333 Um, Is all about. 104 00:08:27,333.33333333 --> 00:08:30,123.33333333 I get into a little bit of the NLP stuff, but our. 105 00:08:31,323.33333333 --> 00:08:35,553.33333333 Limited ability to even recognize all that's available to us. 106 00:08:36,33.33333333 --> 00:08:37,803.33333333 In a moment and how. 107 00:08:42,303.33333333 --> 00:08:46,653.33333333 Our photo taking or our art making, whatever it is. 108 00:08:48,63.33333333 --> 00:08:53,223.33333333 Is this like next level? Different. 109 00:08:53,523.33333333 --> 00:08:55,163.33333333 Quantum plane. 110 00:08:56,63.33333333 --> 00:09:00,953.33333333 Wand or facilitator or translator that actually does. 111 00:09:00,953.33333333 --> 00:09:02,543.33333333 Exactly what we needed to do. 112 00:09:06,403.33333333 --> 00:09:07,423.33333333 And that's why. 113 00:09:09,283.33333333 --> 00:09:12,523.33333333 Meditation is so important and also so hard. 114 00:09:13,213.33333333 --> 00:09:14,113.33333333 It's because. 115 00:09:14,803.33333333 --> 00:09:17,473.33333333 We are so used to our brains, taking the lead. 116 00:09:18,343.33333333 --> 00:09:21,823.33333333 And when we're asked to sit there and just let it all go. 117 00:09:22,813.33333333 --> 00:09:26,263.33333333 Just watch your thoughts and not attached to them. 118 00:09:28,573.33333333 --> 00:09:29,53.33333333 It's like what? But. 119 00:09:29,293.33333333 --> 00:09:41,593.33333333 But there, but that could be really important, but will you wait? But by attaching and clinging to any one specific rumination or thought or whatever. 120 00:09:42,793.33333333 --> 00:09:44,533.33333333 You're immediately shutting off. 121 00:09:46,93.33333333 --> 00:09:47,803.33333333 Your ability to perceive. 122 00:09:49,573.33333333 --> 00:09:52,363.33333333 The rest of the universes. 123 00:09:52,723.33333333 --> 00:09:54,223.33333333 Offerings or. 124 00:09:55,603.33333333 --> 00:09:56,563.33333333 Existence. 125 00:09:58,543.33333333 --> 00:09:59,953.33333333 I guess her brain can only. 126 00:09:59,953.33333333 --> 00:10:01,543.33333333 Process so much. 127 00:10:05,323.33333333 --> 00:10:07,363.33333333 So that's why photography. 128 00:10:08,653.33333333 --> 00:10:10,3.33333333 As meditation. 129 00:10:11,733.33333333 --> 00:10:13,353.33333333 Can be this. 130 00:10:14,793.33333333 --> 00:10:16,413.33333333 Extraordinary way of. 131 00:10:17,883.33333333 --> 00:10:18,843.33333333 Not only. 132 00:10:20,283.33333333 --> 00:10:21,33.33333333 Helping. 133 00:10:22,803.33333333 --> 00:10:28,83.33333333 Quiet that mind because you're kind of satisfying it in the way that you're doing and it like. 134 00:10:28,413.33333333 --> 00:10:30,543.33333333 It's easier to like shut off. 135 00:10:30,573.33333333 --> 00:10:33,63.33333333 It's like, okay, well she's doing something. 136 00:10:34,833.33333333 --> 00:10:37,713.33333333 And you have that thing in your hand and you're like in a task. 137 00:10:37,773.33333333 --> 00:10:38,463.33333333 Almost. 138 00:10:39,783.33333333 --> 00:10:41,523.33333333 By taking a picture, taking a picture. 139 00:10:47,883.33333333 --> 00:10:50,883.33333333 But it's not like a cerebral act. 140 00:10:51,393.33333333 --> 00:10:55,383.33333333 Like if you really allow in work. 141 00:10:56,43.33333333 --> 00:10:56,613.33333333 With. 142 00:10:58,563.33333333 --> 00:11:02,313.33333333 Your impulse, not even work with it, but allow it just free it. 143 00:11:02,733.33333333 --> 00:11:16,413.33333333 And let your hand your finger become an extension of like, Whatever the hell's coming up without trying to make it anything without trying to make it pretty without trying to do it the way you've seen it done before. 144 00:11:18,753.33333333 --> 00:11:20,973.33333333 Then the act in itself. 145 00:11:22,23.33333333 --> 00:11:24,33.33333333 Removes you from. 146 00:11:25,773.33333333 --> 00:11:32,283.33333333 That hyper fixation, that hypervigilance of like, Judgments and should. 147 00:11:32,523.33333333 --> 00:11:34,113.33333333 And productivity and. 148 00:11:35,613.33333333 --> 00:11:35,883.33333333 Do. 149 00:11:36,663.33333333 --> 00:11:37,143.33333333 Life. 150 00:11:39,33.33333333 --> 00:11:40,203.33333333 And it opens up. 151 00:11:40,893.33333333 --> 00:11:45,123.33333333 This well of knowledge and wisdom and. 152 00:11:46,593.33333333 --> 00:11:52,323.33333333 Uh, witnessing of yourself that can actually help you live your life more deeply. 153 00:11:54,903.33333333 --> 00:11:58,293.33333333 Like opened everything up to what really actually matters. 154 00:11:58,323.33333333 --> 00:12:00,33.33333333 The only thing that matters. 155 00:12:00,543.33333333 --> 00:12:01,833.33333333 Is right now. 156 00:12:02,73.33333333 --> 00:12:06,123.33333333 And right now, whatever, you're looking at, pressing a button to. 157 00:12:06,933.33333333 --> 00:12:09,93.33333333 There is something so. 158 00:12:10,893.33333333 --> 00:12:14,253.33333333 Earth shatteringly vital about that. 159 00:12:14,583.33333333 --> 00:12:16,413.33333333 Because you're choosing to do that. 160 00:12:18,183.33333333 --> 00:12:18,783.33333333 You were. 161 00:12:19,653.33333333 --> 00:12:21,663.33333333 Intuitively choosing. 162 00:12:22,653.33333333 --> 00:12:27,453.33333333 This out of everything available to you in your whole life. 163 00:12:31,233.33333333 --> 00:12:32,823.33333333 I don't know, it might sound like. 164 00:12:34,683.33333333 --> 00:12:38,103.33333333 Inflating a situation or something, but. 165 00:12:39,603.33333333 --> 00:12:43,953.33333333 I think that's again, our mind trying to rationalize and like, oh, there, there. 166 00:12:44,643.33333333 --> 00:12:48,723.33333333 It's like, what do we benefit from? Like, Simmering ourselves down. 167 00:12:51,363.33333333 --> 00:12:56,913.33333333 Like when we find a synchronicity and we're like, oh my gosh, Oh, my gosh. 168 00:12:56,973.33333333 --> 00:13:06,693.33333333 And we feel like it's like this other world trying to communicate with us and it's like, well, Um, the likelihood of seeing that it's like, what fuck off. 169 00:13:06,723.33333333 --> 00:13:07,983.33333333 It's so rude. 170 00:13:08,343.33333333 --> 00:13:11,163.33333333 Y try to squeeze the ma that's like a kid. 171 00:13:12,213.33333333 --> 00:13:13,293.33333333 Coming up to you. 172 00:13:14,73.33333333 --> 00:13:17,193.33333333 With like magic and excitement in their eyes over something. 173 00:13:17,853.33333333 --> 00:13:18,543.33333333 And you being linked. 174 00:13:18,843.33333333 --> 00:13:25,383.33333333 Well, actually, What really happened there? And it's so funny because it's like, so. 175 00:13:26,373.33333333 --> 00:13:28,233.33333333 Understood that kids have. 176 00:13:28,893.33333333 --> 00:13:31,233.33333333 Such more ability to perceive. 177 00:13:33,843.33333333 --> 00:13:35,643.33333333 What's actually going on in life. 178 00:13:38,733.33333333 --> 00:13:41,373.33333333 I've always had this weird, really weird. 179 00:13:41,763.33333333 --> 00:13:43,83.33333333 Relationship with time. 180 00:13:43,623.33333333 --> 00:13:44,313.33333333 And I think. 181 00:13:45,363.33333333 --> 00:13:51,513.33333333 That that really feeds into me opening my eyes and feeling this like, Oh, my. 182 00:13:52,143.33333333 --> 00:13:52,893.33333333 Get up. 183 00:13:53,853.33333333 --> 00:13:57,393.33333333 Do something do get, get this out, do it, do. 184 00:13:57,813.33333333 --> 00:13:59,523.33333333 Be live, breathe. 185 00:14:00,13.33333333 --> 00:14:02,713.33333333 Even the anxiousness for space. 186 00:14:03,313.33333333 --> 00:14:04,63.33333333 Go get space. 187 00:14:04,813.33333333 --> 00:14:05,473.33333333 No one else is up. 188 00:14:05,503.33333333 --> 00:14:07,573.33333333 Go wake up, be in space. 189 00:14:08,113.33333333 --> 00:14:10,513.33333333 Time even before I had kids. 190 00:14:10,993.33333333 --> 00:14:12,73.33333333 I would wake up. 191 00:14:12,823.33333333 --> 00:14:24,263.33333333 Way earlier than I even want it to, because I would like get off on being the first one, walking down around the neighborhood I lived in, in San Francisco, like, oh my God, no one else is up. 192 00:14:25,733.33333333 --> 00:14:27,713.33333333 I have this whole place to myself. 193 00:14:28,533.33333333 --> 00:14:33,903.33333333 I remember, even when I worked a job that I enjoyed in a photo studio. 194 00:14:35,103.33333333 --> 00:14:38,13.33333333 I would have a doctor's appointment or something in the morning. 195 00:14:38,73.33333333 --> 00:14:46,773.33333333 And then I would be in a Uber on the way back and be looking at people that are sitting at a cafe, reading a book. 196 00:14:47,253.33333333 --> 00:14:54,993.33333333 Or I know having a coffee date and I would have such like, Ah, I felt like an animal in a cage. 197 00:14:55,53.33333333 --> 00:14:56,73.33333333 I'm like, oh my gosh. 198 00:14:57,303.33333333 --> 00:14:58,863.33333333 Look what you're doing with your time. 199 00:14:59,523.33333333 --> 00:15:01,113.33333333 I have to go be in this space. 200 00:15:01,593.33333333 --> 00:15:02,793.33333333 Not allowed to leave. 201 00:15:02,973.33333333 --> 00:15:04,413.33333333 I got a B in that space. 202 00:15:04,953.33333333 --> 00:15:06,393.33333333 I, I loved my job. 203 00:15:06,693.33333333 --> 00:15:08,883.33333333 I loved the people I worked with. 204 00:15:09,663.33333333 --> 00:15:10,173.33333333 And yet. 205 00:15:11,43.33333333 --> 00:15:12,663.33333333 I was like, oh my gosh. 206 00:15:13,563.33333333 --> 00:15:15,123.33333333 To have to be somewhere. 207 00:15:16,983.33333333 --> 00:15:18,33.33333333 With this time. 208 00:15:19,653.33333333 --> 00:15:21,483.33333333 I mean come 1130 in the morning. 209 00:15:21,483.33333333 --> 00:15:24,63.33333333 On the weekend I'd be like, oh my gosh, the day's almost over. 210 00:15:27,513.33333333 --> 00:15:28,803.33333333 Sunday, scaries. 211 00:15:29,973.33333333 --> 00:15:30,933.33333333 Every Sunday. 212 00:15:31,713.33333333 --> 00:15:33,963.33333333 Only helped by Larry. 213 00:15:34,653.33333333 --> 00:15:37,713.33333333 Um, Larry David from curb, your enthusiasm. 214 00:15:42,273.33333333 --> 00:15:45,63.33333333 I started feeling really anxious and just tell my partner I'm. 215 00:15:45,543.33333333 --> 00:15:46,473.33333333 I need Larry. 216 00:15:49,23.33333333 --> 00:15:52,953.33333333 Ah, Such fickle creatures. 217 00:15:52,953.33333333 --> 00:15:53,433.33333333 We are. 218 00:15:57,733.33333333 --> 00:15:59,143.33333333 I was sitting on my porch. 219 00:15:59,443.33333333 --> 00:16:01,993.33333333 I'm rocking in the middle of the day. 220 00:16:04,133.33333333 --> 00:16:06,563.33333333 And I had this feeling come over me like. 221 00:16:09,893.33333333 --> 00:16:11,183.33333333 But here it is. 222 00:16:14,323.33333333 --> 00:16:15,43.33333333 I've always. 223 00:16:16,483.33333333 --> 00:16:17,833.33333333 Wanted this. 224 00:16:22,163.33333333 --> 00:16:28,73.33333333 I think I'm trying right now, look around for, Part-time work or, you know, just something to ease. 225 00:16:28,73.33333333 --> 00:16:33,73.33333333 Monthly expenses, but I've always wanted. 226 00:16:34,303.33333333 --> 00:16:38,293.33333333 To meander through my days, however, I want to meander through my days. 227 00:16:38,473.33333333 --> 00:16:39,463.33333333 And it's here. 228 00:16:40,783.3333333 --> 00:16:43,543.3333333 And I ironically, I'm spending a lot of my day. 229 00:16:45,763.3333333 --> 00:16:46,693.3333333 Looking for. 230 00:16:47,23.3333333 --> 00:16:48,523.3333333 What to do in that time. 231 00:16:49,303.3333333 --> 00:16:51,103.3333333 And it will be taken away from me again. 232 00:16:51,793.3333333 --> 00:16:52,603.3333333 By myself. 233 00:16:57,443.3333333 --> 00:17:06,233.3333333 What have you wanted per so long? And then once you got it, you didn't realize you had it. 234 00:17:08,903.3333333 --> 00:17:09,863.3333333 So strange. 235 00:17:15,383.3333333 --> 00:17:20,563.3333333 And how can you reverse engineer? Like. 236 00:17:23,983.3333333 --> 00:17:27,913.3333333 I'm thinking instead of, you know, getting a part-time job, I'm like, Hmm. 237 00:17:30,673.3333333 --> 00:17:35,203.3333333 What else can we take away from the expenses? The monthly expenses. 238 00:17:35,203.3333333 --> 00:17:38,743.3333333 Because there's many different ways to slice the spread. 239 00:17:38,923.3333333 --> 00:17:39,283.3333333 Right. 240 00:17:40,483.3333333 --> 00:17:42,283.3333333 But I think sometimes we can forget. 241 00:17:42,313.3333333 --> 00:17:45,643.3333333 And we, just, to me, like if I just got to do more. 242 00:17:45,913.3333333 --> 00:17:46,993.3333333 I have to do more. 243 00:17:46,993.3333333 --> 00:17:49,393.3333333 I have to be more, make more. 244 00:17:53,743.3333333 --> 00:17:55,753.3333333 But I'm in a season of pruning. 245 00:17:59,233.3333333 --> 00:18:00,883.3333333 Healing and pruning. 246 00:18:05,893.3333333 --> 00:18:08,983.3333333 Okay, I'm going to drink more of my coffee out of this. 247 00:18:11,113.3333333 --> 00:18:12,703.3333333 Beautifully precious mug. 248 00:18:13,423.3333333 --> 00:18:14,893.3333333 That my friend Morgan Boca, Vick. 249 00:18:15,373.3333333 --> 00:18:16,3.3333333 Created. 250 00:18:17,263.3333333 --> 00:18:19,3.3333333 Oh, I just love it. 251 00:18:19,213.3333333 --> 00:18:20,443.3333333 It's just so. 252 00:18:21,403.3333333 --> 00:18:23,353.3333333 Perfectly imperfect. 253 00:18:23,833.3333333 --> 00:18:24,883.3333333 And the best way. 254 00:18:25,543.3333333 --> 00:18:28,543.3333333 Um, she had made it, I photograph there. 255 00:18:28,603.3333333 --> 00:18:32,503.3333333 Um, Their art, our teach and market. 256 00:18:32,533.3333333 --> 00:18:35,113.3333333 So Lakeside fleet and mystic market collab. 257 00:18:35,113.3333333 --> 00:18:38,953.3333333 So it was like a bunch of vendors and she made these mugs. 258 00:18:39,643.3333333 --> 00:18:45,913.3333333 Um, for the event and was generous enough to gift it to me, which is so beautiful. 259 00:18:46,663.3333333 --> 00:18:49,243.3333333 And she's also a fricking magical. 260 00:18:49,813.3333333 --> 00:18:50,803.3333333 Being, oh my God. 261 00:18:50,803.3333333 --> 00:18:53,413.3333333 She's been on the podcast before she's on subset two. 262 00:18:53,413.3333333 --> 00:18:56,133.3333333 Her name is lava lamp lounge on sub stack. 263 00:18:58,443.3333333 --> 00:18:59,463.3333333 I'll link to it. 264 00:19:00,173.3333333 --> 00:19:01,223.3333333 in the show notes as well. 265 00:19:01,223.3333333 --> 00:19:02,333.3333333 So you can take a look. 266 00:19:04,193.3333333 --> 00:19:09,503.3333333 I'm also trying to help my focus with, um, mushroom. 267 00:19:10,13.3333333 --> 00:19:10,643.3333333 Coffee. 268 00:19:11,93.3333333 --> 00:19:11,513.3333333 So. 269 00:19:12,203.3333333 --> 00:19:17,843.3333333 I'm not putting hot water with the mushroom coffee and putting the mushroom coffee in the coffee. 270 00:19:20,243.3333333 --> 00:19:23,513.3333333 Um, But the mushroom coffee is only like half calf. 271 00:19:25,983.3333333 --> 00:19:29,613.3333333 I don't really know if it's helping, but it makes me feel good that I'm doing it. 272 00:19:35,3.3333333 --> 00:19:35,453.3333333 Okay. 273 00:19:35,453.3333333 --> 00:19:38,93.3333333 I will now roll into. 274 00:19:38,903.3333333 --> 00:19:41,513.3333333 The original programming that was. 275 00:19:42,233.3333333 --> 00:19:43,313.3333333 Planned for this episode. 276 00:19:45,383.3333333 --> 00:19:52,823.3333333 Um, And you're about to roll into me, blabbing about. 277 00:19:55,163.3333333 --> 00:19:59,513.3333333 Basically photography as meditation and how I was going on a walk. 278 00:20:00,173.3333333 --> 00:20:02,783.3333333 With the kids and telling myself. 279 00:20:02,903.3333333 --> 00:20:04,793.3333333 Oh, I don't need the camera. 280 00:20:06,383.3333333 --> 00:20:07,193.3333333 And. 281 00:20:07,943.3333333 --> 00:20:09,323.3333333 Everything that happened after that. 282 00:20:11,603.3333333 --> 00:20:11,993.3333333 Okay. 283 00:20:12,743.3333333 --> 00:20:13,103.3333333 Enjoy. 284 00:20:15,122.2675737 --> 00:20:15,482.2675737 Hello. 285 00:20:15,482.2675737 --> 00:20:18,152.2675737 Hello and welcome to another episode of help me see. 286 00:20:20,162.2675737 --> 00:20:28,292.2675737 I come to you from the wide open space of a Monday afternoon with my kids and school. 287 00:20:30,992.2675737 --> 00:20:32,822.2675737 Oh, my gosh, it's been. 288 00:20:34,442.2675737 --> 00:20:35,222.2675737 Really. 289 00:20:35,732.2675737 --> 00:20:37,22.2675737 Strange. 290 00:20:37,292.2675737 --> 00:20:39,722.2675737 To have this much space. 291 00:20:42,92.2675737 --> 00:20:47,642.2675737 Um, And I'm looking to not make. 292 00:20:48,302.2675737 --> 00:20:52,652.2675737 That mean pressure for me, like, oh, here's all that space. 293 00:20:53,42.2675737 --> 00:20:54,512.2675737 Here's the space you wanted. 294 00:20:55,172.2675737 --> 00:21:03,872.2675737 Now, what are you got to do with that? You kind of get so much done. 295 00:21:04,172.2675737 --> 00:21:04,532.2675737 Yeah. 296 00:21:04,562.2675737 --> 00:21:07,112.2675737 I've really been intentional about. 297 00:21:08,862.2675737 --> 00:21:10,122.2675737 Giving myself. 298 00:21:11,112.2675737 --> 00:21:12,582.2675737 Dare I say. 299 00:21:13,2.2675737 --> 00:21:14,82.2675737 Leisure time. 300 00:21:16,722.2675737 --> 00:21:18,222.2675737 They want to have a bunch of stuff on the list. 301 00:21:18,282.2675737 --> 00:21:19,122.2675737 I want to get done. 302 00:21:19,662.2675737 --> 00:21:22,632.2675737 I'll stop and go outside and read. 303 00:21:23,442.2675737 --> 00:21:24,762.2675737 Some of my book first. 304 00:21:25,812.2675737 --> 00:21:29,172.2675737 And like rock on a rocking chair and I'm kind of. 305 00:21:31,32.2675737 --> 00:21:33,192.2675737 Soothing myself as if I'm a child. 306 00:21:35,682.2675737 --> 00:21:36,432.2675737 I am. 307 00:21:38,322.2675737 --> 00:21:40,302.2675737 It still hurts my heart so much. 308 00:21:40,542.2675737 --> 00:21:46,542.2675737 Silas, my three-year-old who has never been in daycare or school or anything. 309 00:21:46,872.2675737 --> 00:21:48,672.2675737 He was so stoked to the first week. 310 00:21:48,672.2675737 --> 00:21:52,812.2675737 And now this week it's like, oh, That wasn't a novelty. 311 00:21:52,812.2675737 --> 00:21:54,252.2675737 It's not a novelty anymore. 312 00:21:54,912.2675737 --> 00:21:59,462.2675737 And, um, He wanted me to come in with him. 313 00:22:01,652.2675737 --> 00:22:02,732.2675737 And he said. 314 00:22:03,512.2675737 --> 00:22:04,712.2675737 I want to stay at my house. 315 00:22:04,742.2675737 --> 00:22:06,392.2675737 I just want to hang out with you. 316 00:22:06,482.2675737 --> 00:22:07,922.2675737 I want to be with you. 317 00:22:09,302.2675737 --> 00:22:10,232.2675737 So painful. 318 00:22:11,732.2675737 --> 00:22:16,892.2675737 Um, And as much as I, in that moment want to be like, It's fine. 319 00:22:17,72.2675737 --> 00:22:17,702.2675737 You need to stay home. 320 00:22:19,682.2675737 --> 00:22:22,652.2675737 I've noticed in myself over the. 321 00:22:23,372.2675737 --> 00:22:25,892.2675737 Past couple of days, like just this. 322 00:22:27,872.2675737 --> 00:22:29,172.2675737 Feeling of.light 323 00:22:31,642.2675737 --> 00:22:34,352.2675737 teness like this feeling of. 324 00:22:36,392.2675737 --> 00:22:37,832.2675737 light love. 325 00:22:38,372.2675737 --> 00:22:38,762.2675737 That. 326 00:22:40,232.2675737 --> 00:22:41,402.2675737 Overwhelms me in. 327 00:22:42,392.2675737 --> 00:22:43,982.2675737 I think it's because. 328 00:22:45,482.2675737 --> 00:22:46,352.2675737 I have. 329 00:22:47,252.2675737 --> 00:22:52,802.2675737 The space and what feels like in that, like the safety for my nervous system to be able to. 330 00:22:54,392.2675737 --> 00:22:55,652.2675737 Have time to myself. 331 00:22:57,452.2675737 --> 00:22:59,942.2675737 And then with that, I'm able to. 332 00:23:01,172.2675737 --> 00:23:04,502.2675737 Enjoy a different kind of presence with them. 333 00:23:04,952.2675737 --> 00:23:05,762.2675737 When they are home. 334 00:23:08,612.2675737 --> 00:23:13,82.2675737 Um, what I want to talk about today is how. 335 00:23:15,982.2675737 --> 00:23:17,602.2675737 We were going on a family walk. 336 00:23:18,302.2675737 --> 00:23:18,962.2675737 Sunday night. 337 00:23:19,772.2675737 --> 00:23:21,92.2675737 I knew he had school the next day. 338 00:23:21,662.2675737 --> 00:23:27,902.2675737 And, um, We were all going out and I went to grab my phone. 339 00:23:28,292.2675737 --> 00:23:29,972.2675737 And I know, I shouldn't know. 340 00:23:30,242.2675737 --> 00:23:31,262.2675737 I'm not going to have my phone. 341 00:23:31,262.2675737 --> 00:23:34,292.2675737 I want to be free and not having anything to hold on to or. 342 00:23:36,32.2675737 --> 00:23:42,182.2675737 And then I was like, oh, but pictures, like, I want to be able to take pictures and then I'm like, oh no, You don't need to take pictures. 343 00:23:42,182.2675737 --> 00:23:43,772.2675737 It's the same old walk. 344 00:23:43,772.2675737 --> 00:23:44,582.2675737 It's fine. 345 00:23:45,932.2675737 --> 00:23:47,312.2675737 Just just be present. 346 00:23:47,402.2675737 --> 00:23:50,942.2675737 And then when I said that, like my ears perked up and I'm like, Bitch, you know, better than. 347 00:23:55,172.2675737 --> 00:23:58,112.2675737 My version of presence is the photo taking. 348 00:23:58,172.2675737 --> 00:23:59,942.2675737 I don't have to take the photos. 349 00:24:00,512.2675737 --> 00:24:04,622.2675737 But I want the option to take the photos. 350 00:24:05,282.2675737 --> 00:24:05,882.2675737 So I brought my phone. 351 00:24:06,332.2675737 --> 00:24:13,202.2675737 And, uh, As soon as we start walking, as soon as we get on the sidewalk. 352 00:24:14,132.2675737 --> 00:24:14,342.2675737 Bam. 353 00:24:14,342.2675737 --> 00:24:14,492.2675737 Bam. 354 00:24:14,522.2675737 --> 00:24:14,702.2675737 Bam. 355 00:24:15,852.2675737 --> 00:24:19,482.2675737 Take this picture, this wonderful picture of. 356 00:24:19,482.2675737 --> 00:24:21,312.2675737 My partner and my shadow. 357 00:24:21,342.2675737 --> 00:24:24,462.2675737 And then the kids were ahead of us on bikes and scooters. 358 00:24:25,152.2675737 --> 00:24:26,622.2675737 Um, I always have. 359 00:24:27,132.2675737 --> 00:24:30,642.2675737 Loved this family portrait idea. 360 00:24:30,642.2675737 --> 00:24:31,932.2675737 That is a mix of. 361 00:24:32,802.2675737 --> 00:24:42,222.2675737 It's the actual bodies and in the frame, but also the shadows kind of started years ago when it was just us and our dog Tyson. 362 00:24:42,492.2675737 --> 00:24:48,162.2675737 Um, And we'd be walking with him and I would take a picture of our shadows, but his little body was in there. 363 00:24:48,402.2675737 --> 00:24:55,662.2675737 Um, So anyway, um, you know, I take those pictures and I laugh to myself. 364 00:24:55,692.2675737 --> 00:24:56,652.2675737 I'm like, okay, cool. 365 00:24:56,652.2675737 --> 00:24:58,212.2675737 It toots like, w we just. 366 00:25:00,252.2675737 --> 00:25:01,842.2675737 We just started the walk. 367 00:25:01,872.2675737 --> 00:25:03,702.2675737 Let's just keep going. 368 00:25:03,822.2675737 --> 00:25:06,72.2675737 And then I start laughing to myself thinking about. 369 00:25:06,72.2675737 --> 00:25:09,582.2675737 How deeply ingrained it is. 370 00:25:10,962.2675737 --> 00:25:14,442.2675737 To subscribe to a certain version of presence. 371 00:25:15,552.2675737 --> 00:25:18,672.2675737 Even when my experience is. 372 00:25:18,672.2675737 --> 00:25:20,112.2675737 Knowingly different than that. 373 00:25:21,222.2675737 --> 00:25:21,972.2675737 And. 374 00:25:21,972.2675737 --> 00:25:25,692.2675737 After that little tug of war situation for the first two minutes. 375 00:25:27,642.2675737 --> 00:25:32,352.2675737 I found myself really going ham and just taking a lot of pictures. 376 00:25:32,352.2675737 --> 00:25:34,842.2675737 And, you know, it's funny because just because I'm. 377 00:25:35,142.2675737 --> 00:25:37,332.2675737 Taking pictures doesn't mean I'm always looking at the. 378 00:25:38,82.2675737 --> 00:25:40,482.2675737 The viewfinder or the, the phone camera. 379 00:25:41,22.2675737 --> 00:25:48,942.2675737 Um, so oftentimes I'll like, miss it and I'll like, We take a picture cutting off their head or something because I'm looking at them in real life. 380 00:25:49,542.2675737 --> 00:25:49,932.2675737 But. 381 00:25:52,572.2675737 --> 00:25:56,472.2675737 I really want to highlight and draw out. 382 00:25:58,182.2675737 --> 00:26:01,542.2675737 What's happening there and what's possible for happening there. 383 00:26:01,542.2675737 --> 00:26:02,862.2675737 And that experience. 384 00:26:07,162.2675737 --> 00:26:10,492.2675737 You know how, when you're taking a picture and you're like, ah, this. 385 00:26:10,522.2675737 --> 00:26:11,662.2675737 This isn't doing it. 386 00:26:11,662.2675737 --> 00:26:12,292.2675737 Justice. 387 00:26:14,262.2675737 --> 00:26:15,552.2675737 That's how I feel. 388 00:26:16,542.2675737 --> 00:26:18,102.2675737 About reality. 389 00:26:20,652.2675737 --> 00:26:21,432.2675737 Sometimes. 390 00:26:25,452.2675737 --> 00:26:26,892.2675737 I got to take the picture. 391 00:26:28,92.2675737 --> 00:26:31,782.2675737 Because when I'm looking at it, It's like. 392 00:26:34,302.2675737 --> 00:26:35,262.2675737 It's that moment. 393 00:26:35,472.2675737 --> 00:26:38,202.2675737 Like, ah, Oh, my gosh. 394 00:26:38,622.2675737 --> 00:26:39,552.2675737 Look at this. 395 00:26:41,442.2675737 --> 00:26:42,822.2675737 Look at this. 396 00:26:44,892.2675737 --> 00:26:50,502.2675737 Silas is riding in front of me, this curly red hair, sticking out from the sides of his helmet. 397 00:26:51,132.2675737 --> 00:26:52,782.2675737 And he was writing towards. 398 00:26:53,892.2675737 --> 00:26:54,672.2675737 His dad. 399 00:26:55,392.2675737 --> 00:26:57,462.2675737 And the sun was behind his dad. 400 00:26:58,662.2675737 --> 00:27:00,132.2675737 And I was behind Silas. 401 00:27:00,162.2675737 --> 00:27:02,172.2675737 So it was just like this magical. 402 00:27:02,772.2675737 --> 00:27:04,692.2675737 Like movie scene. 403 00:27:06,912.2675737 --> 00:27:08,352.2675737 And I take the picture. 404 00:27:11,292.2675737 --> 00:27:19,392.2675737 'cause I wonder my wonder later, I can edit this in a way that it actually feels like for me, Because. 405 00:27:21,402.2675737 --> 00:27:26,262.2675737 It's so breathtaking, but even in reality, it's not as breathtaking as it feels. 406 00:27:26,712.2675737 --> 00:27:28,122.2675737 Like visually. 407 00:27:29,172.2675737 --> 00:27:30,132.2675737 And I think about. 408 00:27:34,222.2675737 --> 00:27:35,572.2675737 How we don't. 409 00:27:35,572.2675737 --> 00:27:38,602.2675737 See all the possibilities available to us. 410 00:27:41,422.2675737 --> 00:27:43,282.2675737 And life happens really fast. 411 00:27:44,692.2675737 --> 00:27:45,442.2675737 And. 412 00:27:46,132.2675737 --> 00:27:47,932.2675737 You know, from an NLP perspective. 413 00:27:49,862.2675737 --> 00:27:52,592.2675737 I'm going to read a little bit of information, um, from my. 414 00:27:53,792.2675737 --> 00:27:54,272.2675737 Huge. 415 00:27:54,302.2675737 --> 00:27:56,822.2675737 Hunka NLP certification book. 416 00:27:56,912.2675737 --> 00:28:06,572.2675737 I took my certification with the just fucking fantastic, magical being that is Hayley Carr, and I will link information. 417 00:28:07,382.2675737 --> 00:28:07,772.2675737 Below. 418 00:28:08,522.2675737 --> 00:28:09,782.2675737 Uh, or in the show notes. 419 00:28:11,552.2675737 --> 00:28:13,22.2675737 And okay. 420 00:28:13,172.2675737 --> 00:28:13,682.2675737 So. 421 00:28:15,392.2675737 --> 00:28:17,492.2675737 To get a little science-y. 422 00:28:19,892.2675737 --> 00:28:20,852.2675737 There are. 423 00:28:20,852.2675737 --> 00:28:23,642.2675737 2 million bits of information. 424 00:28:24,152.2675737 --> 00:28:25,382.2675737 Coming at you per second. 425 00:28:25,382.2675737 --> 00:28:26,822.2675737 Those are. 426 00:28:26,822.2675737 --> 00:28:27,902.2675737 Coming through. 427 00:28:28,502.2675737 --> 00:28:29,852.2675737 Internal filters. 428 00:28:29,852.2675737 --> 00:28:38,162.2675737 That are your attitudes, your values, your beliefs, your memories, your decisions, your language, your meta-programs and time, space, and matter energy. 429 00:28:40,592.2675737 --> 00:28:43,262.2675737 So those around seven chunks. 430 00:28:43,262.2675737 --> 00:28:46,592.2675737 Filter to inform your internal map of reality. 431 00:28:48,292.2675737 --> 00:28:53,32.2675737 So every second, your senses are bombarded with 2 million bits of information. 432 00:28:54,652.2675737 --> 00:28:57,772.2675737 And then your Raz, your reticular activating system. 433 00:28:57,772.2675737 --> 00:29:00,802.2675737 Is what kind of sorts it all out. 434 00:29:00,802.2675737 --> 00:29:05,512.2675737 And deciphers which information is let into the conscious mind. 435 00:29:06,142.2675737 --> 00:29:09,592.2675737 And what goes into the recesses of the unconscious mind. 436 00:29:11,392.2675737 --> 00:29:17,2.2675737 So it goes through a process of deletion distortion and generalization based on your internal filters. 437 00:29:17,2.2675737 --> 00:29:20,902.2675737 To determine which information makes it through to become your experience of reality. 438 00:29:22,842.2675737 --> 00:29:24,282.2675737 So to put it into numbers. 439 00:29:24,882.2675737 --> 00:29:28,32.2675737 Your experience of what you know, to be real. 440 00:29:28,482.2675737 --> 00:29:30,252.2675737 Your map of reality. 441 00:29:30,762.2675737 --> 00:29:34,152.2675737 Is less than 0.01% 442 00:29:34,212.2675737 --> 00:29:36,672.2675737 of reality or potentiality. 443 00:29:37,632.2675737 --> 00:29:38,52.2675737 Of. 444 00:29:39,132.2675737 --> 00:29:41,352.2675737 The territory, like what's available to you. 445 00:29:41,712.2675737 --> 00:29:42,192.2675737 At all time. 446 00:29:44,692.2675737 --> 00:29:46,432.2675737 Uh, note on intuition and memory. 447 00:29:46,582.2675737 --> 00:29:50,362.2675737 Your memory is stored in every cell of your being at the subconscious level. 448 00:29:50,392.2675737 --> 00:29:58,552.2675737 And it's a snapshot of a lived experience, but every single bit of information for each lived experience, including the raw data without meaning subscribed. 449 00:29:58,942.2675737 --> 00:30:02,32.2675737 It's still being stored in the depths of the unconscious. 450 00:30:03,722.2675737 --> 00:30:14,342.2675737 So when you think your intuition is unreliable or woo, compared to your conscious logical understanding of a situation, Just remember that the conscious mind remembers almost nothing. 451 00:30:15,452.2675737 --> 00:30:16,442.2675737 I fucking believe that. 452 00:30:17,252.2675737 --> 00:30:19,832.2675737 And create meaning from your memories. 453 00:30:20,852.2675737 --> 00:30:24,362.2675737 Which are only a small fraction of your whole lived experience. 454 00:30:25,82.2675737 --> 00:30:31,982.2675737 The intuition on the other hand has also stored without assigning meaning every other piece of data that enters your senses. 455 00:30:32,492.2675737 --> 00:30:34,52.2675737 And stores it in your nervous system. 456 00:30:35,492.2675737 --> 00:30:39,92.2675737 This is why we can get a feeling before we have words for it. 457 00:30:40,82.2675737 --> 00:30:43,922.2675737 Because the feeling is based on all the information you've ever taken in ever. 458 00:30:46,222.2675737 --> 00:30:47,62.2675737 Okay, I'm going to stop there. 459 00:30:49,312.2675737 --> 00:30:50,452.2675737 When we think about. 460 00:30:52,72.2675737 --> 00:30:54,262.2675737 How much stock we put into. 461 00:30:54,262.2675737 --> 00:30:56,512.2675737 What we consider to be evidence. 462 00:30:57,562.2675737 --> 00:30:58,342.2675737 It makes me laugh. 463 00:30:58,372.2675737 --> 00:30:59,602.2675737 It sounds so pathetic. 464 00:31:00,52.2675737 --> 00:31:01,822.2675737 Oh, well, what's the evidence. 465 00:31:02,992.2675737 --> 00:31:03,352.2675737 But. 466 00:31:03,802.2675737 --> 00:31:07,732.2675737 When you hear that? Now I go, woo. 467 00:31:07,842.2675737 --> 00:31:09,282.2675737 That's why your gut. 468 00:31:10,122.2675737 --> 00:31:11,382.2675737 In your intuition. 469 00:31:12,672.2675737 --> 00:31:15,582.2675737 Is almost always right. 470 00:31:16,752.2675737 --> 00:31:18,432.2675737 It's far. 471 00:31:19,62.2675737 --> 00:31:24,102.2675737 Wiser than what you can cognitively recall. 472 00:31:24,522.2675737 --> 00:31:25,842.2675737 And make sense of. 473 00:31:27,582.2675737 --> 00:31:28,242.2675737 The most. 474 00:31:28,662.2675737 --> 00:31:30,312.2675737 Important things in life. 475 00:31:30,432.2675737 --> 00:31:31,692.2675737 Make no sense. 476 00:31:32,52.2675737 --> 00:31:33,702.2675737 We can't figure out. 477 00:31:35,802.2675737 --> 00:31:37,962.2675737 So when I think about this from. 478 00:31:37,962.2675737 --> 00:31:40,602.2675737 Uh, photo taking perspective. 479 00:31:40,602.2675737 --> 00:31:42,282.2675737 I think about how. 480 00:31:42,282.2675737 --> 00:31:46,122.2675737 That impulse to take that camera up and to. 481 00:31:46,932.2675737 --> 00:31:49,452.2675737 Point it at the thing that you're pointing it at. 482 00:31:52,92.2675737 --> 00:31:52,782.2675737 Is not. 483 00:31:53,832.2675737 --> 00:31:58,242.2675737 A fluke of inspiration or a fluke of. 484 00:31:59,22.2675737 --> 00:32:06,612.2675737 Um, You know, skill or whatever that we can like shallowly deduce it to be. 485 00:32:06,972.2675737 --> 00:32:07,512.2675737 It's. 486 00:32:09,792.2675737 --> 00:32:12,432.2675737 Every memory in your. 487 00:32:13,32.2675737 --> 00:32:16,332.2675737 Body, every experience you've ever lived. 488 00:32:16,752.2675737 --> 00:32:17,472.2675737 Every. 489 00:32:17,982.2675737 --> 00:32:19,62.2675737 Intuitive. 490 00:32:21,102.2675737 --> 00:32:23,502.2675737 Thought and sense that you have. 491 00:32:24,312.2675737 --> 00:32:25,962.2675737 Rising up in you and. 492 00:32:27,12.2675737 --> 00:32:28,932.2675737 Causing you to act. 493 00:32:31,902.2675737 --> 00:32:33,72.2675737 And then to think about. 494 00:32:33,702.2675737 --> 00:32:35,142.2675737 How we can shame ourselves. 495 00:32:35,322.2675737 --> 00:32:35,802.2675737 Be like. 496 00:32:36,432.2675737 --> 00:32:38,22.2675737 Oh, no, it's not the time to take a picture. 497 00:32:38,82.2675737 --> 00:32:39,822.2675737 Oh, Just be present. 498 00:32:39,852.2675737 --> 00:32:44,742.2675737 What is more present than that? This. 499 00:32:47,352.2675737 --> 00:32:49,932.2675737 And then it doesn't stop there because. 500 00:32:51,162.2675737 --> 00:32:55,332.2675737 Especially if you are a photographic artist that. 501 00:32:56,12.2675737 --> 00:32:57,722.2675737 Enjoys the editing process. 502 00:32:58,562.2675737 --> 00:33:01,952.2675737 Then you bring that picture into your world. 503 00:33:02,702.2675737 --> 00:33:06,302.2675737 And you can work within it and play within it. 504 00:33:07,232.2675737 --> 00:33:10,52.2675737 To make it look more like what it felt like. 505 00:33:10,682.2675737 --> 00:33:13,52.2675737 In your body when you experienced it. 506 00:33:15,842.2675737 --> 00:33:21,32.2675737 Regardless of how natural or not the editing is. 507 00:33:21,32.2675737 --> 00:33:22,742.2675737 So often I. 508 00:33:22,742.2675737 --> 00:33:25,432.2675737 I think I've shared this before a while ago, currently. 509 00:33:25,462.2675737 --> 00:33:31,582.2675737 I'm really gravitating towards super pushed, strong, like less natural color. 510 00:33:31,642.2675737 --> 00:33:32,512.2675737 And before. 511 00:33:32,902.2675737 --> 00:33:35,662.2675737 Like for years, I was really into more muted. 512 00:33:36,172.2675737 --> 00:33:36,832.2675737 Tones. 513 00:33:37,702.2675737 --> 00:33:40,612.2675737 And, uh, I talked about this on a past episode, but. 514 00:33:41,602.2675737 --> 00:33:42,652.2675737 I had felt like. 515 00:33:42,652.2675737 --> 00:33:52,42.2675737 You know, those growing pains of Feeling like I was identifying with my old identity that you was this kind of look but it's not filling me. 516 00:33:52,72.2675737 --> 00:33:52,882.2675737 It's not. 517 00:33:55,942.2675737 --> 00:33:58,342.2675737 I don't feel that click inside. 518 00:33:59,642.2675737 --> 00:34:02,522.2675737 As I'm editing and saying this, it just feels like. 519 00:34:04,982.2675737 --> 00:34:08,72.2675737 Uh, past version of what I would consider to be. 520 00:34:09,242.2675737 --> 00:34:09,902.2675737 My truth. 521 00:34:10,532.2675737 --> 00:34:11,822.2675737 So I had to catch up with it. 522 00:34:14,552.2675737 --> 00:34:16,172.2675737 We're always growing, we're always learning. 523 00:34:16,202.2675737 --> 00:34:18,122.2675737 We're always morphing, transforming. 524 00:34:19,562.2675737 --> 00:34:20,672.2675737 Wonderfulness. 525 00:34:21,92.2675737 --> 00:34:21,692.2675737 Pain. 526 00:34:22,832.2675737 --> 00:34:23,372.2675737 Joy. 527 00:34:23,402.2675737 --> 00:34:24,62.2675737 All of it. 528 00:34:26,12.2675737 --> 00:34:28,292.2675737 But sometimes we can get so locked in. 529 00:34:28,292.2675737 --> 00:34:31,802.2675737 The story of who we have been up until this point. 530 00:34:32,342.2675737 --> 00:34:34,592.2675737 That there's this push and pull that happens. 531 00:34:34,592.2675737 --> 00:34:37,892.2675737 Like, I, it, like, you're not quite here and you're not quite there. 532 00:34:37,892.2675737 --> 00:34:42,992.2675737 You're like straddling that line and that can be the uncomfortable and it also can be really hard to. 533 00:34:43,712.2675737 --> 00:34:47,702.2675737 Have verbiage for that, like to be able to explain it and identify it. 534 00:34:49,502.2675737 --> 00:34:50,792.2675737 But I think that's. 535 00:34:51,992.2675737 --> 00:34:53,612.2675737 Where the pictures. 536 00:34:54,662.2675737 --> 00:34:55,922.2675737 R like this. 537 00:34:57,482.2675737 --> 00:34:59,42.2675737 Powerful cheat code. 538 00:34:59,612.2675737 --> 00:35:00,932.2675737 To keeping you. 539 00:35:00,932.2675737 --> 00:35:02,432.2675737 Honest with yourself. 540 00:35:02,912.2675737 --> 00:35:05,672.2675737 To keeping you tethered to yourself. 541 00:35:06,542.2675737 --> 00:35:10,232.2675737 I made this, this primal instinct came up in me and I made this. 542 00:35:10,652.2675737 --> 00:35:13,562.2675737 And only you can feel whether or not. 543 00:35:15,212.2675737 --> 00:35:17,492.2675737 It's resonant and only you can. 544 00:35:18,332.2675737 --> 00:35:22,622.2675737 Diagnose an orient to what you feel about the picture you just took. 545 00:35:24,722.2675737 --> 00:35:28,22.2675737 So that's why I say when you land on any photo that you took. 546 00:35:28,562.2675737 --> 00:35:29,282.2675737 Look at it. 547 00:35:30,602.2675737 --> 00:35:31,472.2675737 Back up. 548 00:35:32,342.2675737 --> 00:35:33,272.2675737 Zoom in. 549 00:35:33,812.2675737 --> 00:35:35,282.2675737 Back the fuck up. 550 00:35:35,972.2675737 --> 00:35:37,922.2675737 Change your seat of consciousness. 551 00:35:38,72.2675737 --> 00:35:38,732.2675737 Don't look at it. 552 00:35:38,732.2675737 --> 00:35:40,112.2675737 As I took this photo. 553 00:35:40,472.2675737 --> 00:35:41,852.2675737 Come out of that seat. 554 00:35:42,512.2675737 --> 00:35:46,52.2675737 And look at it as if someone else took that photo and start to think about that. 555 00:35:46,52.2675737 --> 00:35:54,332.2675737 If you need to give it some air and some space, sometimes, um, our judgments on ourselves are so intense that we have a hard time seeing past. 556 00:35:55,322.2675737 --> 00:35:56,642.2675737 Inside that bottle. 557 00:35:57,212.2675737 --> 00:36:01,202.2675737 But when you come outside of the bottle, You're able to read the label more easily. 558 00:36:05,302.2675737 --> 00:36:06,772.2675737 We know that where your focus. 559 00:36:07,402.2675737 --> 00:36:10,102.2675737 Is on where your attention is on expands. 560 00:36:10,972.2675737 --> 00:36:11,872.2675737 No matter what it is. 561 00:36:14,32.2675737 --> 00:36:16,102.2675737 The photo show you what you're focusing on. 562 00:36:19,192.2675737 --> 00:36:20,782.2675737 So loosen up that grip. 563 00:36:21,502.2675737 --> 00:36:22,852.2675737 Loosen up that. 564 00:36:22,852.2675737 --> 00:36:31,192.2675737 Filtering that might happen around what you do and do not take pictures of or how you do it and really give it space. 565 00:36:32,692.2675737 --> 00:36:34,12.2675737 Breathe into it. 566 00:36:34,462.2675737 --> 00:36:36,382.2675737 Let your instinct. 567 00:36:37,672.2675737 --> 00:36:40,342.2675737 Live as authentically as possible. 568 00:36:41,872.2675737 --> 00:36:44,752.2675737 Because that's how you're going to get the most. 569 00:36:46,72.2675737 --> 00:36:50,482.2675737 Relevant most powerful, most resonant information from yourself. 570 00:36:50,902.2675737 --> 00:36:52,162.2675737 Because that's what this is. 571 00:36:52,522.2675737 --> 00:36:56,92.2675737 Our photographs are us teaching ourselves. 572 00:36:56,482.2675737 --> 00:36:57,412.2675737 If we let them. 573 00:37:00,362.2675737 --> 00:37:04,502.2675737 Your photo habit is a cheat code for listening to your instincts. 574 00:37:05,372.2675737 --> 00:37:08,372.2675737 For hearing what you're trying to tell yourself. 575 00:37:09,992.2675737 --> 00:37:11,852.2675737 It's on the tip of your nose. 576 00:37:15,752.2675737 --> 00:37:17,192.2675737 We're on our walk and. 577 00:37:18,122.2675737 --> 00:37:21,722.2675737 The kids are always, of course getting distracted and dilly dallying. 578 00:37:22,472.2675737 --> 00:37:24,872.2675737 And one of the things that they do. 579 00:37:25,592.2675737 --> 00:37:27,452.2675737 So many times on a walk. 580 00:37:27,902.2675737 --> 00:37:28,652.2675737 Can make me cry. 581 00:37:29,522.2675737 --> 00:37:32,392.2675737 Is pick me flowers slash weeds. 582 00:37:33,742.2675737 --> 00:37:40,762.2675737 And, um, Just that little voice. 583 00:37:41,302.2675737 --> 00:37:41,662.2675737 Wait. 584 00:37:42,22.2675737 --> 00:37:43,582.2675737 I got to get mommy a flower. 585 00:37:44,62.2675737 --> 00:37:44,812.2675737 And help water. 586 00:37:44,842.2675737 --> 00:37:47,482.2675737 Production it is getting off the bike. 587 00:37:48,202.2675737 --> 00:37:49,912.2675737 Running to the patch of grass. 588 00:37:50,482.2675737 --> 00:37:55,582.2675737 Picking up the tiniest little weed flowers that just crumble in his rough hands. 589 00:37:55,582.2675737 --> 00:37:56,812.2675737 And then he has to find more. 590 00:37:59,122.2675737 --> 00:38:00,442.2675737 But when that's happening. 591 00:38:02,182.2675737 --> 00:38:04,972.2675737 Here we get mommy a flower. 592 00:38:05,92.2675737 --> 00:38:06,472.2675737 I lift my phone. 593 00:38:07,282.2675737 --> 00:38:10,552.2675737 I Press the shutter, press the shutter, press the shutter. 594 00:38:11,152.2675737 --> 00:38:11,632.2675737 It's like. 595 00:38:13,42.2675737 --> 00:38:13,822.2675737 Oh, my gosh. 596 00:38:13,852.2675737 --> 00:38:14,722.2675737 Look at him. 597 00:38:15,412.2675737 --> 00:38:16,822.2675737 Look at this effort. 598 00:38:17,362.2675737 --> 00:38:22,572.2675737 I everything comes so much more deeply than if I were just sitting there waiting. 599 00:38:24,402.2675737 --> 00:38:27,12.2675737 I'm like, look how he's hunched over. 600 00:38:27,222.2675737 --> 00:38:27,912.2675737 Look at how. 601 00:38:28,482.2675737 --> 00:38:31,572.2675737 He's got a backpack on and he's about to tumble. 602 00:38:31,992.2675737 --> 00:38:41,772.2675737 Look at the innocence and the purity, and then to take the pictures, like as he's walking towards me, Click click, click, click, click, click. 603 00:38:42,12.2675737 --> 00:38:48,522.2675737 So when, until he so close that it doesn't even make sense that I'm taking the picture because he's inside the frame. 604 00:38:55,572.2675737 --> 00:38:57,762.2675737 Being in a moment in that way. 605 00:38:58,992.2675737 --> 00:39:01,182.2675737 Brings you inside of it. 606 00:39:04,602.2675737 --> 00:39:06,192.2675737 You're not around it. 607 00:39:08,822.2675737 --> 00:39:11,12.2675737 It's engaging in it. 608 00:39:12,242.2675737 --> 00:39:13,622.2675737 While it's happening. 609 00:39:16,942.2675737 --> 00:39:23,692.2675737 And there's space for all of it, right? Like you could take one picture of that and be content and you just want to be, and not everyone is. 610 00:39:24,322.2675737 --> 00:39:25,912.2675737 Is as like psychotically. 611 00:39:27,292.2675737 --> 00:39:29,182.2675737 Obsessive about the photo taking. 612 00:39:31,942.2675737 --> 00:39:33,562.2675737 But there's something that happens. 613 00:39:33,562.2675737 --> 00:39:41,422.2675737 Like, what does it psychosomatic, like when you're pressing that button? It's like, you know, you're pressing it because it's so important. 614 00:39:41,782.2675737 --> 00:39:43,792.2675737 And so sweet and so whatever. 615 00:39:43,792.2675737 --> 00:39:45,712.2675737 And so you press, press, press, press, press. 616 00:39:47,92.2675737 --> 00:39:49,522.2675737 I was like, you're finding the pulse of your life. 617 00:39:50,362.2675737 --> 00:39:53,92.2675737 Through the cadence of hitting the shutter button. 618 00:39:56,572.2675737 --> 00:39:58,342.2675737 Uh, this, this, this, this, this. 619 00:40:04,222.2675737 --> 00:40:04,672.2675737 I don't know. 620 00:40:04,672.2675737 --> 00:40:08,552.2675737 I just envision it as like nudging, like nudging yourself awake. 621 00:40:08,552.2675737 --> 00:40:10,562.2675737 It's like, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. 622 00:40:10,562.2675737 --> 00:40:10,982.2675737 It's here. 623 00:40:11,72.2675737 --> 00:40:11,582.2675737 It's here. 624 00:40:15,512.2675737 --> 00:40:18,92.2675737 And the beautiful thing about the whole practices. 625 00:40:20,562.2675737 --> 00:40:22,422.2675737 When you're seeing like that. 626 00:40:25,322.2675737 --> 00:40:29,672.2675737 It integrates into your life, into your being deeper. 627 00:40:30,542.2675737 --> 00:40:30,992.2675737 And. 628 00:40:32,102.2675737 --> 00:40:35,772.2675737 You're unavoidably Recalibrating you're knowing. 629 00:40:36,732.2675737 --> 00:40:37,422.2675737 Your. 630 00:40:39,72.2675737 --> 00:40:40,632.2675737 Meaning in life. 631 00:40:44,202.2675737 --> 00:40:47,82.2675737 Your intentionality what's important to you. 632 00:40:51,522.2675737 --> 00:40:55,542.2675737 It keeps you grounded and centered in your central. 633 00:40:55,572.2675737 --> 00:40:58,512.2675737 Uh, core. 634 00:40:58,962.2675737 --> 00:41:01,92.2675737 You're knowing if like this is important. 635 00:41:01,692.2675737 --> 00:41:11,82.2675737 Life fucking crazy, but also right now, nothing else matters, but this, and even when other things are going crazy, this still holds its weight in importance. 636 00:41:11,142.2675737 --> 00:41:12,42.2675737 I feel that. 637 00:41:12,402.2675737 --> 00:41:13,212.2675737 It's in me. 638 00:41:16,962.2675737 --> 00:41:24,522.2675737 And then when you get you stray and you get far away, You go back and you look at your pictures and you listen to the pictures. 639 00:41:26,772.2675737 --> 00:41:29,142.2675737 Listen to what you did, look at what you did. 640 00:41:31,742.2675737 --> 00:41:34,532.2675737 I have an unconditional trust and knowing. 641 00:41:35,132.2675737 --> 00:41:36,932.2675737 That I am present for my life. 642 00:41:38,702.2675737 --> 00:41:41,402.2675737 I am tapped into the heartbeat of my life. 643 00:41:45,282.2675737 --> 00:41:47,952.2675737 I can harness that in an intentional way. 644 00:41:50,232.2675737 --> 00:41:50,832.2675737 I can. 645 00:41:50,832.2675737 --> 00:41:56,562.2675737 Choose to be more active in it and like use this information to do something specific. 646 00:41:57,12.2675737 --> 00:42:00,252.2675737 And go to it for strength and courage and. 647 00:42:01,482.2675737 --> 00:42:03,42.2675737 Reassurance or. 648 00:42:04,182.2675737 --> 00:42:04,782.2675737 I can. 649 00:42:05,52.2675737 --> 00:42:08,802.2675737 Rest in the knowing that I'm unavoidably, recalibrated. 650 00:42:10,332.2675737 --> 00:42:10,782.2675737 Too. 651 00:42:10,782.2675737 --> 00:42:12,522.2675737 What I've witnessed as my truth. 652 00:42:16,782.2675737 --> 00:42:19,152.2675737 You create your memories. 653 00:42:21,652.2675737 --> 00:42:23,182.2675737 It is so easy. 654 00:42:23,452.2675737 --> 00:42:24,892.2675737 To gloss by. 655 00:42:26,332.2675737 --> 00:42:28,642.2675737 Uh, life that it is horrifying. 656 00:42:29,872.2675737 --> 00:42:32,2.2675737 It is so easy. 657 00:42:35,302.2675737 --> 00:42:36,322.2675737 To miss. 658 00:42:38,272.2675737 --> 00:42:41,62.2675737 When you're not giving yourself the time and space. 659 00:42:41,62.2675737 --> 00:42:42,502.2675737 To make meaning. 660 00:42:43,912.2675737 --> 00:42:45,52.2675737 Of what's in front of you. 661 00:42:49,492.2675737 --> 00:43:00,342.2675737 Because at the end of the day, What are we doing? What's it all mean? What's the point? Nothing means anything until we assign the meaning of it. 662 00:43:01,122.2675737 --> 00:43:02,262.2675737 And we assign meaning. 663 00:43:02,262.2675737 --> 00:43:03,582.2675737 Hopefully consciously. 664 00:43:03,642.2675737 --> 00:43:07,152.2675737 And if not consciously, it's unconscious to everything. 665 00:43:07,182.2675737 --> 00:43:08,262.2675737 Well, no, one's immune from this. 666 00:43:09,312.2675737 --> 00:43:10,662.2675737 It's recognizing. 667 00:43:11,352.2675737 --> 00:43:14,22.2675737 Where and what meaning you're assigning. 668 00:43:14,832.2675737 --> 00:43:15,612.2675737 In your life. 669 00:43:19,872.2675737 --> 00:43:22,302.2675737 Meaning makes matter. 670 00:43:23,352.2675737 --> 00:43:25,62.2675737 Meaning makes it matter. 671 00:43:26,772.2675737 --> 00:43:31,512.2675737 If I'm making my photo habit mean that I am. 672 00:43:32,112.2675737 --> 00:43:36,72.2675737 Less present because I'm too concerned with making photos. 673 00:43:37,672.2675737 --> 00:43:38,332.2675737 Then that. 674 00:43:38,332.2675737 --> 00:43:39,382.2675737 Becomes. 675 00:43:39,382.2675737 --> 00:43:41,422.2675737 Uh, constructive energy in my life. 676 00:43:43,552.2675737 --> 00:43:48,412.2675737 And it becomes even more of a thing that I'm contending with because I'm going against my natural instinct. 677 00:43:51,312.2675737 --> 00:43:57,402.2675737 And then anytime I take a photo, I have this like weird subconscious guilt of like, oh, just be there. 678 00:43:57,432.2675737 --> 00:43:58,302.2675737 Be there. 679 00:44:00,402.2675737 --> 00:44:01,682.2675737 You don't need the photo. 680 00:44:02,162.2675737 --> 00:44:03,542.2675737 It's like you write, I don't. 681 00:44:04,52.2675737 --> 00:44:05,312.2675737 I fucking want it. 682 00:44:12,552.2675737 --> 00:44:15,222.2675737 I believe the single most important thing we can do. 683 00:44:15,222.2675737 --> 00:44:17,52.2675737 For being awake in our life. 684 00:44:17,742.2675737 --> 00:44:18,882.2675737 Is to. 685 00:44:18,882.2675737 --> 00:44:24,792.2675737 Protect nourish support her instinct and impulses when it comes to. 686 00:44:26,52.2675737 --> 00:44:27,372.2675737 Taking photos in our life. 687 00:44:32,102.2675737 --> 00:44:35,72.2675737 And if it's not photos for you, it can be writing. 688 00:44:35,72.2675737 --> 00:44:36,902.2675737 It can be whatever it is for you. 689 00:44:37,82.2675737 --> 00:44:38,942.2675737 That creative impulse. 690 00:44:39,812.2675737 --> 00:44:42,272.2675737 Uh, like, uh, we'll want to do this. 691 00:44:42,932.2675737 --> 00:44:43,472.2675737 Do it. 692 00:44:45,932.2675737 --> 00:44:47,282.2675737 Honor your instinct. 693 00:44:49,892.2675737 --> 00:44:53,822.2675737 Because you're trying to tell yourself something, you're trying to experience something. 694 00:44:53,822.2675737 --> 00:44:55,472.2675737 You're recognizing something. 695 00:44:56,432.2675737 --> 00:44:57,482.2675737 It's a sacred. 696 00:44:57,872.2675737 --> 00:44:58,382.2675737 Act. 697 00:44:59,312.2675737 --> 00:45:00,542.2675737 Of acknowledgment. 698 00:45:01,82.2675737 --> 00:45:02,282.2675737 Of reverence. 699 00:45:02,282.2675737 --> 00:45:02,972.2675737 Honoring. 700 00:45:02,972.2675737 --> 00:45:03,842.2675737 The next time. 701 00:45:05,102.2675737 --> 00:45:09,572.2675737 You find yourself in that? Energy of I want to take the picture, but oh, I don't. 702 00:45:09,572.2675737 --> 00:45:11,132.2675737 I also don't want to be burdened. 703 00:45:11,372.2675737 --> 00:45:13,82.2675737 I want to just be here. 704 00:45:14,562.2675737 --> 00:45:16,722.2675737 What would it be like to. 705 00:45:18,222.2675737 --> 00:45:22,32.2675737 Let the camera be the portal to being in it more. 706 00:45:23,262.2675737 --> 00:45:24,582.2675737 To give that to yourself. 707 00:45:24,612.2675737 --> 00:45:25,692.2675737 Let yourself. 708 00:45:25,992.2675737 --> 00:45:28,272.2675737 Really sink into that.