Money stress can quietly erode trust in a relationship, but it doesn't have to. In this episode of Honey, We Need to Chat, we sit down with our friends Phil and Kate Thompson to share real-life lessons about navigating finances as a team.
From starting marriage with nothing to building a business and raising a family, they open up about what worked, what didn't, and what they wish more couples knew earlier.
We talk about why financial transparency matters, how to set shared goals, and how to balance ambition with contentment. Whether you're saving, budgeting, investing, or just trying to survive a mortgage, we’re sharing practical tools, honest stories, and encouragement to help you build a financial foundation that strengthens your connection.
If you're keen to connect with Phil's work further, you can find him at https://www.skye.com.au/
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Honey, We
Need to Chat. Today's episode is pretty sweet.
We've got Phil and Kate Thompsoncoming on.
Phil is a financial advisor and we thought, oh look, it'll be
amazing chat and conversation tohave as finance is a big topic
within relationships. So it's just such a solid, solid
(00:20):
interview. These guys really did well.
It was an interesting night. It was a very interesting night.
We did this and we're our toddler, amazing, amazing
toddler. I was just struggling to sleep.
So I was in and out all interviewed trying to settle him
and and get him sorted. So Amy and Kate and Field did an
amazing job keeping up the conversation and and it still is
(00:41):
a quality episode. So I really know you guys are
going to get a lot from that. If you want to continue this
conversation offline, please reach out on honey, we need to
chat.com. Go there, check out our free
resources. Also sign up to our email.
Get in contact with us if you have any topics or questions or
anything else you'd like us to discuss on this podcast.
(01:02):
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(01:22):
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But thank you so much and I knowyou're going to enjoy this
episode. Cheers guys.
Honey, we need to chat. Thank you for joining us.
(01:49):
Phil and Kate have been friends of mine for a number of years
and we're really excited here a little bit about their story and
have them share who they are as a couple.
But we're also really excited because the topic of finances is
a big one when it comes to relationships, which everyone
would have navigated in their own specific way.
And today we're going to hear a little bit about how finances
(02:12):
have played out for these guys and specifically anything that
they've learnt along the way that would be valuable.
Phil is a financial advisor. Is that how you would describe
your role? He's a financial advisor.
He actually has his own podcast,which is super interesting and
informative and has done a lot of work in this space.
And so together they've navigated this and we thought,
hey, these guys would be really helpful for chatting to us and
(02:35):
helping give us a little bit of insight into something that we
definitely don't do, don't have insight into to share.
So thank you for joining us for this conversation.
And Kate is a in the process of being published author and I'm
very excited to to read her workwhen it comes out.
So thank you for joining us. No worries you missed, you
buried some a bit. Of important information.
(02:59):
Yeah, I was going to. Say that little pom pom pom pom
flower girl dresses so cute, so cute and every time I see them
now, which they're definitely not those little girls anymore.
They're growing teenage looking girls, becoming them their own
selves. But they're, yeah, they're very,
very cute in the in the wedding photos, so.
(03:19):
One of my favourite photos is mewalking our youngest around the
front yard, trying to entertain them and and walking them
around. That's one of my favourite
photos, yeah. Which as as like parents now to
kids a little bit older than that now.
But looking back at that day, I just am so grateful for your
willingness to let them be a part of it.
Because getting our kids to participate in a wedding, it
(03:41):
just seems like a nightmare right now with the lens we've
got now. Remember how long your your eye
was? It was.
So long. It was so long, Yeah.
I guess I was shocked that our girls made it.
They did so well and they walkedup like they walked up the
aisle. They did so well.
I not even a single thought other than oh, they're so cute.
Went through my head of motherlyinstinct at all because I just
had none at that stage. So very glad that it worked out
(04:04):
the way that it did. And we were sweating bullets.
Calm and collected and they did really well.
So anyway, if you ever peep any of our wedding photos and you
see these little pom pom girls walking around in this puffy
little tool dresses, they're very cute.
So tell us about yourselves, like tell us about you, your
family, whatever you would like to say in that space.
(04:24):
We. Have just celebrated 17 years of
marriage. Wow.
So that's. Been.
Crazy. I feel that your numbers are
creeping up and we've got three beautiful girls, a 13 year old,
11 year old and almost 10 year old, and it's lots of fun.
They're great Tiberians, yeah, We kind of keep putting along,
(04:48):
doing all the things we need to do.
Yeah, we got married young. So we were 20 when we got
married and and we collectively started with no money.
And so. So that was that was a good way
to start a relationship. Yeah.
You mentioned that you started collectively with no money, and
that's not surprising for 20 year olds when they're getting
married. But what has your journey
(05:10):
concerning finances looked like to this point?
Because obviously now with your work, Phil, that process has has
evolved over the years. Yes, I mean, as I said, we we
got married young, we collectively had no money.
I think we joined together in the negative.
I came into the marriage with a with a deficit.
Mm hmm. With debt.
Yeah, for a small loan. I owe it to my parents and Kate
(05:33):
had a little bit of savings, butso, yeah, not not much.
And so, you know, I at the startof our marriage and our career,
we were just working and we kindof saved that.
We saved that really well at thestart of our marriage.
And we then we, we spent all that money on travelling.
So we, we spent eight months allup to yeah.
(05:54):
Yeah. Like travelling, we went to
Europe for three months and thencame home with a little with
money leftover. And so then we spent five months
in in Asia and then came back and within a a year or two
decided to start a family. You know, starting a family was
super important. A lot of people you know in this
day and age talk about wanting to buy a house or be financially
(06:17):
stable. Established first before having
kids. But we kind of decided we
wouldn't worry about that too much.
We kind of fly by the seat of our parents kind of couple.
Yeah, I love that. And then, yeah, we, I, you know,
I was, I had a different career before financial advice and, and
then, yeah, once we decided to start a family, I was, I moved
(06:39):
careers into financial advice. Long term.
I wanted to run my own business one day and, and in, in personal
finance. So started working as a
financial advisor. And then, you know, a few years
later I took over a business andI've had that business for 12
years. Yeah, so a long time now.
That time has flown from my perspective.
(07:01):
I'm sure it didn't in your end. Growing it and building it.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, both.
It's, it's like parenting. It goes very quick and very slow
all at the same time. Yeah, absolutely.
So how was that journey of goingfrom another career into
finance? Did you already have the sort of
like similar, not similar knowledge, but going into
finance, was that something thatyou'd already have experiencing
(07:22):
or interesting? I was, I was a circus performer,
Yeah, before I went into financial, yeah.
Podcast about the transition from.
Hey guys, it's a really quick break here.
We just want to encourage you, if you want to support us in
(07:43):
this podcast, please do. All the things you always hear
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(08:04):
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(08:25):
So that is why people, whenever you're following creators and
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So if you're enjoying it, it only takes a second.
We really appreciate those engagements because that's
what's getting us in front of other people as well.
Thanks guys. So when you look back over what
(08:49):
you've learnt going through yourjourney, what is something that
you off the top of your head would think that you wish
couples just knew when it came to finance or I wish they could
explore when it comes to the area of finance?
I think the biggest thing for meis to work out how to get on the
same page as quick as possible because that's at the end of the
(09:09):
day. Approaching something
particularly like finances as a team rather than pitted against
each other helped solve so many different problems.
And it took us a while to kind of get get to that place.
You know, we kind of swapped roles I think a couple of times
between one of us being more kind of budget savvy and then
the other. And once we got to a point where
(09:33):
we could kind of both see this is what our goal is and this is
the way we can do that, I think it's helped helped us a lot.
And I think, you know, consistently kind of talking
about it, like even even the start, well, I mean, a few
months ago we kind of sat down and, and talked about our kind
of household budget and what it looked like.
And, and what I've don't do thisvery often, but I looked at what
(09:55):
we spent the last financial year, because at work it's
financial year and trying to geta bit more professional and look
at budgets and all this. So I did it personally.
And then we sat down and was like, OK, we need to make some
adjustments and, and pull back on our spending.
And so because I do a lot of that finance admin, life admin
when it comes to finances, yeah,it was just a matter of like
(10:17):
sitting down and talking about it and going, hey, this is this
is kind of the way we're structured things.
And just making sure, Kate, you know, over the last kind of few
years, Kate's been a little lesshands on.
Things have also gotten more complicated too, as you know,
business kind of experience, it becomes more complicated, yeah.
It is, yeah. It's more complicated.
(10:37):
So even like just at the start of this financial year, kind of
sitting down and just making it like as, because we've always
been on the same page in terms of like, we want to make sure
we're both understand what's happening and what's going on.
But you know, it just takes mental energy to always be on
top of it all. So some of it's like, well, hey,
I'll, I'll do it, I'll manage it.
But when we need to make decisions, we try and make them
(11:00):
together. I mean, we do make them
together. We make big decisions and you
know, Kate will lead some decisions in in some areas of
our finances and I'll lead otherdecisions.
And the other thing is like we that we've the, you know,
talking about other couples is just yeah, yeah, continue to be
on the same page and never try and be like, oh, well, you got
(11:20):
this. So I get this and you know, you
spend this and so therefore I need to spend this.
So we've kind of never had that.Yeah, that idea of kind of yeah.
Life's not fair, it's never needed to be fair between us.
Yeah. And making sure we're
communicating what that looks like.
It's more of that swings and roundabouts.
We know there are times where one of us will spend more and
(11:40):
then the other does. So it doesn't need to be, yeah,
just trying to keep up with one another, spending the same.
Amount, Yeah, yeah. Something, it's something I was
thinking of as you guys were talking.
So obviously you've got obviously experience in finances
and budgets and and so forth. And, and you, you know, you with
your podcast navigating through all of that, how would a couple
(12:02):
like start the process of getting on the same page?
You know, I mean how, how would you encourage that?
Journey to actually happen. I think for me, I think it
starts with from a place of humility for both parties, which
is, which can be a very challenging place to start with
anyway. But I'll just use a little
(12:23):
example and I'm hope this helps answer the question.
A couple of years ago or during COVID, I was doing some silly
online shopping, just spending on things that I didn't need
spending more. Than.
I should have the yeah, yeah, spending more than we had.
It got to a point where I just had to say, hey, feel like I'm
(12:45):
really sorry, but this is what'sbeen happening.
And he was so approachable, he was so willing to, he, he didn't
cut me down. He was so willing to kind of go,
OK, cool, let's workshop a solution so that we can, you
know, you can have spending money.
Well, both of us can have some spending money.
(13:07):
So that then there's, there's things that we can save up for.
We know that that's our specificmoney that we have.
And so it kind of it, it gave mefreedom in that, but then also
the boundaries to know this is what's going to be best for the
family. And so I think one of those
questions is really like, what's, what's the goal for the
family? Like what's the, you know,
(13:27):
finances are a tool. And So what is it that we want
this tool to help us achieve? When you're, because obviously
when you're navigating and we'refeeling this right now, we're
buying a house and we're navigating some really big
financial decisions and stresses.
And I find myself having momentswhere I'm like just in my head
(13:47):
about it. It's not even the reality
necessarily. It's not even that once I talk
about it, a lot of time I feel way better with Blair.
Like I air it out and we work onit and we're on it.
We're in that team kind of perspective.
And if I feel way better, but I just get stuck in my head.
So there's obviously a lot of anxiety that people can feel
around the topic of money. And in your journey, you talked
(14:08):
about how when you started as a couple, you really didn't have
much as a family. And then you ended up, you know,
having adding your children intothe situation.
How would you have? Well, how have you navigated
those times where it's just fromthe outside perspective?
It's a really stressful situation and many people really
do feel that. Yeah, I mean, yes, some of the
(14:28):
things that we think about we, we were fortunate we had no
money. So like some of the couple
dynamics, if someone comes with more wealth or more financial
security and then someone else doesn't, that can be hard to
navigate as a, as a couple joining together that we just
didn't, we had the luxury of no money.
And, and in that environment, the other thing that we've kind
(14:49):
of always thought about it and actively talked about as a
couple is we hold kind of any wealth or financial security
that we build up fairly loosely.We don't really, you know, our,
our self worth isn't rolled up in, in our wealth that we are
kind of building and creating. And so if if it goes for
whatever reason, then it's not, it's, it doesn't kind of define
(15:13):
us or we're not. It can be stressful, but we're
not so worried. We're all going to die at the
end so much. Yeah, and you can't take it
with. You does it really matter?
Yeah. So that's been that's been
helpful. But you know, we had young
family, we started a small business, we weren't making much
money. So that's stressful.
I think we we have an film mightdisagree with me, but we have
(15:34):
always been relatively budget conscious.
I grew up with parents that werevery frugal.
And so I think a big approach for us was we never don't know
if it's quite the right way, butwe never really felt entitled to
a particular lifestyle or a particular, you know, the top
brands or anything like that. We were just we tried to take a
(15:57):
very just practical approach in going, OK, like I know this
isn't what I can afford at the moment.
What can I afford? Like for me being able to buy,
you know, the name brand dairy, that was like my first step step
up when we were able to earn a little bit more because that was
just one of the things to me. But yeah, just not having that,
(16:17):
you know, delaying the appointments to see someone
about my feet hurting or, you know, just very small things
like that, which aren't necessarily, you know, if you
can spend money on health, then do.
But yeah, there's a lot of things that we just tried to
like if we were going out for dinner with friends, sometimes
we'd we'd eat beforehand. And then go and just.
(16:39):
Hang out like because it didn't need to be one or the other, we
could still enjoy being with other people and just.
Yeah. And we, I mean we went through
an interesting journey at the very beginning of our marriage.
We both worked heaps. Kate worked full time, I worked
full time. I was coaching acrobatics like 3
(17:03):
or 4 nights a week. Kate was babysitting.
So we we actually like relatively low income full time
work, but we made good money pretty quickly and we we
literally ate rice and tuna for.Wow.
The very start of our marriage and but we saved up a lot of
money really quickly. But then we kind of we, we felt
(17:23):
that we were very precious aboutmoney and like very stingy in,
in not in an unhealthy way. And then when we went overseas,
we did feel there was a big switch in going, Hey, like it's
money will come, Money will go. Like, let's not be not be
flippant about money, be respectful that it is something
that's, you know, creates a lot of burden in our lives.
(17:44):
And, you know, but, and potentially, you know, frees us
up in a lot of ways, but we kindof went through a journey of the
very like for the first two years of our marriage where we
gained a lot of money. And then we, we spent it and we,
and you know, we felt God was kind of allowing us to go
through that time of literally going back to having no money
again or being in debt actually again.
(18:06):
Yeah, and just just. Learning, I think to be generous
with what we had is yeah, to to be frugal where we need to be
and then generous where we need to be.
I think was it kind of put thosein their right order.
So that was very good. Yeah, I feel like there's a,
there is like you can go either extreme, either really obsessed
(18:28):
with, you know, not spending like you've said or really,
really extreme in terms of beingdisrespectful, which is the
phrase you said as well with themoney.
And it's kind of, it's kind of hard to find that neutral ground
sometimes if you especially if you don't have good comforting
patterns in place or a good discipline in place in that
space, how do you navigate? So you would be talking to
(18:51):
people all the time that you're helping advise them in this
space. How do you see people navigating
these feelings stuck in the areaof money versus kind of a
freedom regardless of what you do have?
Yeah. I mean, it's just being clear
about kind of what the goal is. I think it's, it's often like
for us, like when we first got married, we were clear, we
(19:11):
wanted to travel, actually wanted the ability to maybe move
overseas. That was kind of on the card.
So it was like, let's save our money to do that.
And then when we decided we justwant, we want to be travelling,
then that money was set for thatpurpose and we utilised that
money for that purpose. So I think for us, it's always
been about and then for people Italked to and you know, the, the
(19:33):
work that I've done a lot of work in the past doing that
stuff is, is just making sure you've got a very clear goal in
mind. And that's something we've kind
of come back to is like we, we three years ago, we upgraded
from our first house to our kindof what will likely be our
forever home. And and so we're kind of tick
that box off. And so and business is going
(19:54):
well. And so kind of the financial
security, we're kind of tick that box off.
And so it's just been like. You know, last year when we kind
of overspent, it was probably less kind of understanding
exactly what our goals were and more we're trying to achieve.
Yeah. So that's why the start of this
year was, it was a matter of just going like, how do we just
kind of pull it back and make sure we're, we are trying to
(20:15):
achieve those goals. And, and that's kind of the
work. And you know, we, we engage
other professionals to help us with that stuff as well, like
just making sure we're both clear on that goal.
And sometimes my goal may drive that.
Sometimes Kate's goals will drive it.
Kate will have a passion for something that we both go
towards and and vice versa. Yeah, it feels almost similar to
(20:37):
kind of, I guess how you'd approach something like a
fitness goal or something. You having those goals helps you
kind of stay in track and know which way you're moving and what
you're working towards, which I think is when you feel
overwhelmed by finances can be really hard to keep in insight
because you can just be like, I just don't feel like I'm even
like on top of anything and out the window.
(20:58):
Hey guys, we're just gonna take a little break right now.
We if you've been listening intothese episodes and you're like,
man, Amy is a so full of wisdom,so full of wisdom.
I wanna say there's a reason whyAmy does most of the leading in
these conversations 'cause she'sa lot more full of wisdom than I
am. See, you are you do well, You do
really well. Thanks.
(21:18):
But you should know that Amy actually does this for a living.
Amy, tell us what's going on. I do indeed.
Yes, I am a coach. You are a qualified coach and
this is something that that I'm very passionate about.
I love helping people work through these things.
You've heard it in our episodes.This is how we navigate our
relationship and our family. Having curiosity and exploring
(21:39):
these things and figuring out what sits behind them.
And so this is the sort of stuffthat I get to do with my clients
and the women that I'm working with, which is really exciting.
So if there is anything that you're feeling a little bit like
you just need a bit more clarityin.
If you're feeling stretched thinor things are just not feeling
like they're clicking right for you, like you're holding a lot
of stuff together outside, but inside something's just not
(22:02):
functioning. That is something that I would
love to explore with you and work through with you in terms
of trying to find just a little bit more clarity about what's
going on. The tools that I've learned in
coaching have been wild and super helpful for us, super
helpful for me. Even as I'm helping other women.
I am like sitting there in the sessions that I'm saying out of
my mouth and I'm remembering a tool that I'm like, Oh my gosh,
(22:25):
yes. And I love.
That I love watching you in thisspace as well because after
every one of her sessions with their clients, it's not like
I've got through that. It's always like, man, I love
this. So this is something that you
are actually passionate about you, you love this stuff.
You love journey and walking with women through these
different areas. If you are interested, reach
(22:46):
out, go to Honey We need to chat.com and get in touch.
Yeah, we can do a free 30 minuteclarity call as well.
That's always on the table. Not a hard like sell or any kind
of difficult manipulative thing.It's just a chat for 30 minutes
going through some stuff. To see if this will.
Fit for you, See if it works foryou, figuring out where you're
at in life and just having a conversation back and forth.
So hop onto the website. Check it out.
(23:09):
Let's have a chat. Let's do it.
Let's get back to the episode. If you had, you know, someone,
if there was a couple that's listening to this and they're
like, we really don't have our heads around this.
We haven't navigated it really healthy before, but we want to
get into the rhythm of putting some things in place.
Would there be any tips that you'd have for them to just
start? Yeah.
(23:29):
I mean, I think the, the way we worked on it this year was, you
know, we we'd had like differentbucket bank accounts for buckets
of money in the past. But you know, in the last seven
years, we kind of just had the one bank account.
Money would come in, money wouldcome out that one bank account.
And then, and that was kind of when Kay was saying she was
overspending, it was like I, I didn't notice.
(23:50):
It wasn't like I was checking the bank accounts and approached
Kay. Kay just came and, and talked
about it. But structurally that wasn't
that good for us. And So what we've done now is
because when you've got a mortgage, like there's, it's
just a big chunk of money that comes out every month.
And so, you know, especially if you're not looking at the bank
accounts every day, which it kind of shouldn't be ideally
(24:11):
like you, then you're like, oh, wait, is the mortgage being paid
or is that money in that accountminus the mortgage?
Or is that still to come out? So what we've done structurally
is we've, we've both set up likeour own spending account, small
money, small amount of money will go out every week into our
own spending account. And that's just whatever we want
personally. And then our our savings account
(24:34):
is, is in one bank account whereall our pays and our money goes
into and then our spending for the month, not including the
mortgage goes into one account. So we know that, you know, money
will hit that account at the start of the month.
And that's our budget for all spending except for the big
lumpy spending like the mortgage.
And I think that's helped, helped us a lot.
(24:56):
Yeah, but from a practical pointof view, too, from someone who's
probably less reluctant to kind of really invest the brainpower
in it, which is something that I'm pushing myself to do.
You know, I always think about that scene in Gilmore Girls
where Emily Gilmore, when Richard dies and Emily just has
no idea what to. Do yes and.
(25:17):
So that's always been a big driver for me to be like, OK, as
much as I don't want to, it's really important that I'm on top
of everything that's happening. Yeah.
And so I would say from a practical point of view to try
and make the experience around discussing it as enjoyable as
possible. So.
(25:37):
Like pick an actual date and saythis is the time.
Don't do it at night time when you're grumpy or you know, when
the kids are coming in and out. Like trying actually, yeah, like
get out some time from your weekto discuss it.
Have some beers, have some wine,have a cheese platter while
you're discussing it. Just just just so that you can
both be in the best mood possible when you're talking
(26:01):
about it and really try and comeat it with humility and
reminding each other that you'reon one another's side.
I think is is really important because it it can so quickly
become, you know, you're gettingyour backs up against each
other. Yeah, yeah.
And, and I mean, money's funny when you're in a couple with
like, you know, if there's moneyin a bank account and one person
spends it, then the other personcan feel like, well, that's my
(26:23):
money you've spent. Yeah.
So like one thing that we've, you know, just in kind of a lot
of our relationship, we've always tried to look at that as
we're on the same team. Like, I mean, we we did a
marriage course, alpha marriage course like 612 months ago.
And one of the things that stuckout to me was talking about the
problem is, is don't have the problem in between you 2
(26:46):
discussing the problem. Like if you do have a problem
with finance, try not to think about it like that with the
problem in front of you. You can talk about it side by
side and go, hey, let's, let's we're on one.
We're on each other's side. We're a team.
How do we address this problem of overspending or, you know,
not having clarity around our finance or whatever, whatever
the problem may be? Yeah, thinking about it as we're
(27:08):
A-Team, if you spend the money, it's not taking it away from me.
It's taking away from us if there's an overspending problem.
Yeah, I really like that visual of it, placing it in front of
you rather than between you. I think that's a really powerful
perspective and approach to havewith.
I think one thing they said in that course too is if you're
both coming to a a issue with different solutions, but neither
(27:33):
of those solutions are working, then the next thing to do is
work together to find the third solution rather than you know
it's it's yours or theirs. It's about finding that third
solution then. Yeah, that's great as well.
Yeah, instead of kind of forcingfighting for your solution to be
the one. I love that.
That's really helpful and reallypractical.
(27:53):
I think we've talked a lot on the podcast about one of our
favourite pieces of advice as a couple is to set aside a check
in night regularly where you check in on the things that can
be tough if you're trying to raise them in the moment.
And adding a the budgety type conversation into that can be
could be a good idea as well. Marking it like you said, Kate,
(28:14):
with making it fun, making it like a date night kind of vibe
or having a a nice drink or a cheese platter or whatever to
turn the tone around so that youare coming at it as a couple I
think is really helpful way of approaching it.
Yeah, we've had times where I, Ithink we kind of, well, we
complement each other in different ways as a couple and
(28:35):
we both have different strengths, as everybody does
when they're in a relationship. And I find when I'm in charge of
finances, I just get so stressed.
I'm so stressed about the detail.
I feel stressed and behind all the time.
Whereas Blair's a lot more kind of just problem solving and and
approachable about it. So we've found a good rhythm, I
think between the two of us in terms of how to work as a team
(28:56):
in that space. But I think it's a really
important point that you raise, Kate, that you know, lots of
people do have very separate understandings of these things.
And in situations where you might not be, you know, life
changes, it throws you a curveball and you don't
necessarily have that long term.It's important to have to be a
little bit more at team orientedin that space, I think, and just
(29:19):
approaching it gently, but allowing yourself to learn so
that you're as equipped as you can be individually and
together. Because I, I know people that
are really struggling financially and to bring that
up, you know, with your partner can be, there can be a lot of
pride, I guess, in the conversation, but a lot of guilt
in the conversation too. Like a shame, especially with a
(29:42):
lot of the young families that we talk with, a lot of the guys
that, you know, might be at home, babies just being born and
a lot of guys are going to work and just really wrestling with
that. So finance is like this huge
mountain in some people's eyes. Yeah, like, you know, something
we we haven't touched on the news that like going back to
work dynamic and you know that you know what, where does the
(30:04):
pressure come from? And you know, we've always
talked about it, like Kate's always said, hey, if if I need
to go back to work, then we'll go back to work.
We'll make it happen and making sure we're both aligned in terms
of our priorities, like we were pretty well aligned in terms of
our priorities for Kate to be athome with the girls.
(30:26):
Now between between the 1st 2, Kate went back to work and
because we also value childcare a lot, yeah, we put a lot of
value in that as well. But just being super aligned,
like we've got one of our team members is a career changer and
her husband was a career changeras well.
So he went and did an apprenticeship.
So as and she's a similar age tous young kids.
(30:50):
And so her husband became an apprentice, dropped down income
and then once he was qualified, then she could then do her
career change. So it was kind of this just just
determining priorities of going,OK, yeah, you hate your job
more. So you you do the career change
now and I'm happy to keep going.And then, you know, when it made
(31:10):
sense for their household to to do the second career change.
Yeah. Yeah, that's how they navigated
it. But yeah, for us, it's been,
from my point of view, it's kindof been that career change was
relatively easy because I came from no money.
Art is no monies, finances, moremoney than art basically even
(31:31):
like the junior nothing job in finance is more than art.
So in terms of my journey, I, I had to study online.
So I was working full time with a young family, studying online
as well. And so yeah, I was really
interested in doing that as a career.
I really wanted to go in that direction.
I wanted to start my own business and I saw that
financial advice is a great opportunity to be able to start
(31:53):
my own business, yeah. Yeah.
And and as well it's it's gonna be priority for you guys to, you
know, a priority of getting on the same page.
I know that seems seems quite cliche or easy to say, but
again, that is a a hard journey for a lot of a lot of people to
navigate. We'll never go how to do that as
well. So having as a priority is
probably the first step too, andthen putting those things in
(32:14):
place to to help you guys get there.
But yeah. And we I mean, we still talk
about that a lot as well. Like, you know, in terms of like
Kate's writing now and, you know, does Kate take time away
and, and go away to to invest inthat?
Does it, you know, Kate's not doing paid work at the moment.
And that's, you know, a decisionwe've made as a household pay.
(32:36):
We want to make that investment,you know, not getting paid work.
And so it just just doesn't finish.
You just constantly got to be having these conversations about
where are our priorities. And half the time you just got
to guess what the other person thinks.
But it's just so much easier if we just communicate it and tell
each other. Across because.
It's so much guilt and like, like actually when it comes to
(32:58):
money and working and paid work or looking out for Q, it's as
there's so many emotions and guilt that gets wrapped up and
like, sometimes I can be frustrated.
You know, historically when our kids were younger and we weren't
making money in the business, like I was getting frustrated
and kind of, you know, portraying that on Kate.
And then Kate would kind of feellike, oh, am I the cause of
(33:21):
that? Because I'm not doing pain work
and we're investing and looking after our kids and there's all
of those kind of dynamics that we we work through and.
Yeah. I think like going back to what
you're saying originally to Blair with the like,
particularly because there was along stretch where we weren't
making much money. I was always really careful,
(33:42):
particularly as the wife to and correct me if I'm wrong, I don't
think I did. But just to not put it on feel
that you should be making more money or why aren't we making
anything? Like I was always very cautious
not to say anything like that. And then, you know, to not say
that meant that I actually had to not think that way.
(34:02):
Yes. Exactly.
And so just trying to put, put the work into to learn to be
content with where we were and genuinely content.
And that's that I think is the like #1 I think if we weren't
content there, then we could never be content anywhere we
are. So that was a big thing for me
(34:23):
too, to make sure that like, I was, you know, always building,
trying to build him up as much as we could, OK.
Yeah. You could tell me.
If I'm no, you were No, I mean, also from my point of view,
because Kate doesn't want to sayit about herself.
Kate is amazing and and has always been amazing at at
(34:43):
basically even even like we had some issues at work, people
issues. The bigger we get, the less, the
less money issues we have and the more people issues we have.
Yeah. And so it's just like there's a
lot of drain, but I prefer people issues than money issues,
100% money issues. And, and we were saying this the
other day, making money in the business is everything else can
(35:06):
kind of resolve itself and work through itself.
Money issues is really, really difficult as a household, as a
business. But one thing, even recently,
you know, we were talking about some people issues and Kate's
like, look, if it all goes away,doesn't matter.
And, and, and we've had that conversation for using, even
though forever having the business, it hasn't ever been
(35:29):
AI. You know, we need this business
to make work. It's always been a, if we have
to give it away because it's toostressful, it's, you know,
creating too much of A burden, then we do it.
And, and knowing that and Kate, you've always been good at
actually saying it as well. And it's just helped me know
that I look, the downside risk is pretty insignificant.
Like the financial downside riskcan be stressful and there can
(35:53):
be a lot of guilt, you know, having a business and if it goes
down the drain, that's stressfuland there's a lot of guilt
there. But knowing that none of that
guilt would have been placed from Kate really framed to be
able to take risks, kind of do that that we want to be doing.
Yeah. And that you need to be doing, I
guess to be growing. That's what is part of it.
(36:13):
That's huge. I think that.
I love what you said, Kate, about the internal side of it
needs to be there. The work has to be there because
if you're not, you might. It doesn't matter what you say.
Like, yeah, it's fine. It's fine.
But if you're internally frustrated or internally
stressed or whatever is going onand you're not working on that,
it will philtre out and it's gonna.
Come out. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna come out.
What? Have we said we we heard
(36:34):
something as well as like, what is it?
The saying I'm gonna butcher it so bad?
But it's about like, if we we don't say what we say, you still
have a loud conversation. Yeah, yeah.
Not not saying something is saying something loudly
basically like you'd sometimes not the I don't remember, we're
butching the butchering it, but basically.
It was really good. It was a really good not.
Commenting on Google, you just do something.
(36:56):
Around. That.
Just listen to all the other episodes and you'll find it.
Yeah, so not but deadly. Is that the one?
Basically that's. The one, Yeah, yeah.
You ever smelt it Delta? Yeah, what's what's cool as well
as like hearing you guys, you know, because you guys are never
getting something so much, so much greater than we are.
You know, Amy and I with, with our finance, finance situation,
(37:16):
we're we're dealing with our family, we're dealing with our
house and, and all the things that are going on with that.
But you guys have this whole other level of business, you
know, and I feel like that's like a whole other level of
stress when it comes down to finance, like you guys running
the business and so forth as well.
So it's really great to see justthe, the, the processing that
you guys are having now and the conversations you're having now.
(37:38):
What I'm seeing is just like, well, we've got each other's
back. Like first and foremost, we've
got each other's back. We're supporting each other
first and then we deal with the finances.
Like the finances aren't the main part of the conversation.
It's your relationship, your, your care for each other and
your support for each other. We're going to get that sorted
first. Now let's tackle the finances
and so forth, which has been really coming out of that.
(38:00):
And I'm, I'm assuming that hasn't always been the easy
thing to do too though. How have you found that process?
It's kind of. Perfect, like if perfect's here,
I'm just like, no, I mean it's alot of work.
It, it takes a lot of work and you know, we, you know, every
marriage is like a roller coaster every day.
But like, you know, we went through some difficult times
(38:22):
where we, it's not great going through difficult times.
We're going through it together and realising like being very
clear that Kate has my back and I have hers and we're on the
same level. And so much of the things that
like are fundamentally core to our being that we want to stand
against was really important part of our marriage journey.
(38:44):
That happened, you know, a number of years ago.
That was like, I think ever since then it's been very clear
that like, I don't know, becauseyou're always questioning or do
they actually have my back? Yeah.
And for the first one, like 10 years of our marriage, it was we
always got along. We didn't fight a lot.
But you always kind of just question, do they actually have
(39:04):
my best interests at heart or they just being selfish?
Because we're all selfish. We all do things that are
selfish. But recognising that our, you
know, our, the core to our relationship is, you know,
making sure we have each other'sback and we care for each other
and love for each other like, And so we went through some
difficult times external to our marriage that really bonded us
(39:25):
together. And so ever since then, I've
it's actually been really easy from my point of view, but I'm
not married to. No, Kate, has it been easy?
Yeah, like as in it's not, it's not an uphill battle every day.
And we're incredibly fortunate that we have been able to get to
that. You know, that level of intimacy
(39:47):
and friendship and enjoying eachother.
It's we're, yeah, very blessed. For that, yeah.
Yeah, we're all about me. Yes, I'm just just in case you
wouldn't. Aware I didn't say confirmation.
No, yes, there we'll. Take that offline.
We're all about communication, obviously.
That's the whole kind of foundation of the podcast.
(40:09):
And I think a lot of what you guys have spoken about and a lot
of what people I think tackle inin marriage and in relationship
in general is it comes down to your willingness to communicate
about where you're at. So these kind of internal things
that, yes, I really, really wantto support my partner in this
and I really want to have their back, but I just also have this
little thing going on inside me that's anxious.
(40:31):
So this little thing going on that makes me doubt them or
whatever it is that's going on, being able to kind of strip down
to those those issues that you want to communicate and just be
gentle. And then also being receptive to
that as well. And I think tackling
conversations like finance and tackling the waves that
relationship brings, if you're able to hold space for each
(40:53):
other and foster that kind of really raw but gentle
communication about how you're really going instead of just
what you want it to be or how you want to be going, I think
that helps to build the foundation of yeah, that's kind
of the foundation that you do build off, I guess.
And that's kind of what will help you navigate these storms
because you know, you're on the same page.
(41:14):
You know what you can expect from your partner, you know what
you can trust from them. And you you, you know that you
trust yourself in that space as well.
So last question then, if there was something that you guys
could say to 20 year old Kate and Phil when you're getting
married about this area of life,what would it be?
We did, we talked about this last night and I forget exactly
(41:35):
our, our discussion points, but my point was, and this is
something we actually disagree on.
You know, I was saying that we saved money really, really
quickly and we saved like $80,000 in the space of like 9
months when you literally ate rice and tuna.
Yeah. And so a part of me still kind
of is thinking I kind of wish webought a house.
(41:57):
Instead. Of houses backing when when was
07 like 8 yeah we're so excited and so even just understanding
like the fundamentals around finance and going we could have
still gone travelling and done everything we had done just if I
was more aware of the financial situation and because there are
(42:18):
still plenty of things to do so and I reckon I reckon we would
have been further ahead financially had we kind of
engaged and thought about it when we were 20 Kate disagrees
because she's like tell him you can tell him why you disagree I.
Disagree, I said. I think that if we hadn't have
travelled when we did, I don't think I would have ever
(42:41):
travelled. And I said I knew my exact words
were I would have been crazier, I would have been far more
controlling and I'd be very, very difficult to live with and
much more depressed. And so for me, having that
experience of travel where, you know, we were literally
backpacking, it was US against the world.
(43:02):
Like we had no one, no one else to communicate.
We were forced to communicate with each other, which was
something I was lacking in, you know, as I came into the
marriage. And so for me, it was really
important that I had that experience because I think I
would have been a very differentperson.
Yeah. Yeah, I understand.
(43:23):
I compound interest and buy a house in 08.
Buying a house in 08 seems like sneezing or something is so
different. I we actually resonate, I think,
'cause we, we didn't buy when wecould have and we didn't
actually know at the time that we could have.
But now knowing what we know, wecould have.
And every now and then I'm like,man, I just wish, I just wish we
(43:44):
had. I wish we'd bought them.
But we didn't do either. We didn't buy a house.
Or travel. So yeah, but I.
I guess what you said, Amy, is like, we didn't know we could
have. Yeah, that's that's my kind of
regret. I wish I had invested in
personal understanding and growth on personal finance
because I was interested in it, because again, we could have
travelled, we could have had both and I've known what I know
(44:06):
now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's an easy trap to fall into that what what we could have
known. Yeah, what would he have said to
yourself, Kate? 20 year old Kate.
I said something really profoundlast night and I can't remember
what it was now. Do you remember?
I'm joking. It wasn't prevent, but do you
remember? Yeah, I don't know.
I think I the question, what would you say to a newly married
(44:27):
Kate and Phil? I probably wouldn't talk about
money if I was. I would just be giving like,
like, you know, some of those lessons, those hardships that we
went through and going like actually just skip those 12
years of kind of fighting and, and like, and we weren't again,
we didn't fight, but it was justlike this.
We kind of, we were young when we got married, we kind of grew
(44:48):
up together, but there was this kind of just innate selfishness
in me mainly. And so that kind of going, Hey,
you, you just know that you're on each other's side, you love
each other, you care for each other.
That's probably the advice I would give.
I wouldn't give any financial advice.
I wouldn't buy the house. You're.
On each other side and buy the house.
(45:11):
I think really if if you're talking specifically finances,
it's just that, yeah, just communicate with each other
about it and and trust that eventhough that like when you first
married, that kind of real deep intimacy isn't quite there yet.
You know, obviously it's not something you can force or
hurry, but just remembering thatyou're on each other's side, I
(45:33):
think is is the biggest one. Yeah, absolutely.
No, that's great. Awesome.
That's great, guys. Well, thank you so much for
joining us. Where can people find you if
they are interested in learning more Phil?
So my business is SKY, e.com dotAU Sky and we work with the
Aussie clients and I'm on LinkedIn.
(45:58):
We don't really post much places.
I saw you on TikTok today so youcould find him on TikTok as well
apparently. There you go.
I've I've got a, I've got a marketing team in the business.
Hopefully it was you hosting you.
And too much of A boomer to evenunderstand how many of that
works. Yeah, let the team do that, too.
Yeah, that's great. Great.
(46:19):
Well, thank you so much for joining us, guys.
We really, really appreciate your wisdom and your time, and
we think this will be a blessingto the people listening.
Cheers you guys.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Honey, We
Need to Chat. Today's episode is pretty sweet.
We've got Phil and Kate Thompsoncoming on.
Phil is a financial advisor and we thought, oh look, it'll be
amazing chat and conversation tohave as finance is a big topic
within relationships. So it's just such a solid, solid
(00:20):
interview. These guys really did well.
It was an interesting night. It was a very interesting night.
We did this and we're our toddler, amazing, amazing
toddler. I was just struggling to sleep.
So I was in and out all interviewed trying to settle him
and and get him sorted. So Amy and Kate and Field did an
amazing job keeping up the conversation and and it still is
(00:41):
a quality episode. So I really know you guys are
going to get a lot from that. If you want to continue this
conversation offline, please reach out on honey, we need to
chat.com. Go there, check out our free
resources. Also sign up to our email.
Get in contact with us if you have any topics or questions or
anything else you'd like us to discuss on this podcast.
(01:02):
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(01:22):
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But thank you so much and I knowyou're going to enjoy this
episode. Cheers guys.
Honey, we need to chat. Thank you for joining us.
(01:49):
Phil and Kate have been friends of mine for a number of years
and we're really excited here a little bit about their story and
have them share who they are as a couple.
But we're also really excited because the topic of finances is
a big one when it comes to relationships, which everyone
would have navigated in their own specific way.
And today we're going to hear a little bit about how finances
(02:12):
have played out for these guys and specifically anything that
they've learnt along the way that would be valuable.
Phil is a financial advisor. Is that how you would describe
your role? He's a financial advisor.
He actually has his own podcast,which is super interesting and
informative and has done a lot of work in this space.
And so together they've navigated this and we thought,
hey, these guys would be really helpful for chatting to us and
(02:35):
helping give us a little bit of insight into something that we
definitely don't do, don't have insight into to share.
So thank you for joining us for this conversation.
And Kate is a in the process of being published author and I'm
very excited to to read her workwhen it comes out.
So thank you for joining us. No worries you missed, you
buried some a bit. Of important information.
(02:59):
Yeah, I was going to. Say that little pom pom pom pom
flower girl dresses so cute, so cute and every time I see them
now, which they're definitely not those little girls anymore.
They're growing teenage looking girls, becoming them their own
selves. But they're, yeah, they're very,
very cute in the in the wedding photos, so.
(03:19):
One of my favourite photos is mewalking our youngest around the
front yard, trying to entertain them and and walking them
around. That's one of my favourite
photos, yeah. Which as as like parents now to
kids a little bit older than that now.
But looking back at that day, I just am so grateful for your
willingness to let them be a part of it.
Because getting our kids to participate in a wedding, it
(03:41):
just seems like a nightmare right now with the lens we've
got now. Remember how long your your eye
was? It was.
So long. It was so long, Yeah.
I guess I was shocked that our girls made it.
They did so well and they walkedup like they walked up the
aisle. They did so well.
I not even a single thought other than oh, they're so cute.
Went through my head of motherlyinstinct at all because I just
had none at that stage. So very glad that it worked out
(04:04):
the way that it did. And we were sweating bullets.
Calm and collected and they did really well.
So anyway, if you ever peep any of our wedding photos and you
see these little pom pom girls walking around in this puffy
little tool dresses, they're very cute.
So tell us about yourselves, like tell us about you, your
family, whatever you would like to say in that space.
(04:24):
We. Have just celebrated 17 years of
marriage. Wow.
So that's. Been.
Crazy. I feel that your numbers are
creeping up and we've got three beautiful girls, a 13 year old,
11 year old and almost 10 year old, and it's lots of fun.
They're great Tiberians, yeah, We kind of keep putting along,
(04:48):
doing all the things we need to do.
Yeah, we got married young. So we were 20 when we got
married and and we collectively started with no money.
And so. So that was that was a good way
to start a relationship. Yeah.
You mentioned that you started collectively with no money, and
that's not surprising for 20 year olds when they're getting
married. But what has your journey
(05:10):
concerning finances looked like to this point?
Because obviously now with your work, Phil, that process has has
evolved over the years. Yes, I mean, as I said, we we
got married young, we collectively had no money.
I think we joined together in the negative.
I came into the marriage with a with a deficit.
Mm hmm. With debt.
Yeah, for a small loan. I owe it to my parents and Kate
(05:33):
had a little bit of savings, butso, yeah, not not much.
And so, you know, I at the startof our marriage and our career,
we were just working and we kindof saved that.
We saved that really well at thestart of our marriage.
And we then we, we spent all that money on travelling.
So we, we spent eight months allup to yeah.
(05:54):
Yeah. Like travelling, we went to
Europe for three months and thencame home with a little with
money leftover. And so then we spent five months
in in Asia and then came back and within a a year or two
decided to start a family. You know, starting a family was
super important. A lot of people you know in this
day and age talk about wanting to buy a house or be financially
(06:17):
stable. Established first before having
kids. But we kind of decided we
wouldn't worry about that too much.
We kind of fly by the seat of our parents kind of couple.
Yeah, I love that. And then, yeah, we, I, you know,
I was, I had a different career before financial advice and, and
then, yeah, once we decided to start a family, I was, I moved
(06:39):
careers into financial advice. Long term.
I wanted to run my own business one day and, and in, in personal
finance. So started working as a
financial advisor. And then, you know, a few years
later I took over a business andI've had that business for 12
years. Yeah, so a long time now.
That time has flown from my perspective.
(07:01):
I'm sure it didn't in your end. Growing it and building it.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, both.
It's, it's like parenting. It goes very quick and very slow
all at the same time. Yeah, absolutely.
So how was that journey of goingfrom another career into
finance? Did you already have the sort of
like similar, not similar knowledge, but going into
finance, was that something thatyou'd already have experiencing
(07:22):
or interesting? I was, I was a circus performer,
Yeah, before I went into financial, yeah.
Podcast about the transition from.
Hey guys, it's a really quick break here.
We just want to encourage you, if you want to support us in
(07:43):
this podcast, please do. All the things you always hear
about, like share, subscribe, actually goes a very, very long
way in supporting us. This is the why that that goes a
long way. It's not just because, oh, it
makes us feel nice. All of the algorithms that we
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driven by engagement. And so it's really easy to
(08:04):
engage is something that you enjoy and not physically like it
or share it or save it or comment or whatever it might be
or subscribe if it's a podcast platform or YouTube or
something. Your algorithm works for you
because it shows up for you because it knows you like that.
But in terms of it boosting thatout to other people that might
enjoy it, unless it's seeing engagement, it doesn't boost up.
(08:25):
So that is why people, whenever you're following creators and
they're like, like share, subscribe, That's why because
it's a, it's a physical note to the platforms that we're using
that this is a value and the other people might enjoy it too.
So if you're enjoying it, it only takes a second.
We really appreciate those engagements because that's
what's getting us in front of other people as well.
Thanks guys. So when you look back over what
(08:49):
you've learnt going through yourjourney, what is something that
you off the top of your head would think that you wish
couples just knew when it came to finance or I wish they could
explore when it comes to the area of finance?
I think the biggest thing for meis to work out how to get on the
same page as quick as possible because that's at the end of the
(09:09):
day. Approaching something
particularly like finances as a team rather than pitted against
each other helped solve so many different problems.
And it took us a while to kind of get get to that place.
You know, we kind of swapped roles I think a couple of times
between one of us being more kind of budget savvy and then
the other. And once we got to a point where
(09:33):
we could kind of both see this is what our goal is and this is
the way we can do that, I think it's helped helped us a lot.
And I think, you know, consistently kind of talking
about it, like even even the start, well, I mean, a few
months ago we kind of sat down and, and talked about our kind
of household budget and what it looked like.
And, and what I've don't do thisvery often, but I looked at what
(09:55):
we spent the last financial year, because at work it's
financial year and trying to geta bit more professional and look
at budgets and all this. So I did it personally.
And then we sat down and was like, OK, we need to make some
adjustments and, and pull back on our spending.
And so because I do a lot of that finance admin, life admin
when it comes to finances, yeah,it was just a matter of like
(10:17):
sitting down and talking about it and going, hey, this is this
is kind of the way we're structured things.
And just making sure, Kate, you know, over the last kind of few
years, Kate's been a little lesshands on.
Things have also gotten more complicated too, as you know,
business kind of experience, it becomes more complicated, yeah.
It is, yeah. It's more complicated.
(10:37):
So even like just at the start of this financial year, kind of
sitting down and just making it like as, because we've always
been on the same page in terms of like, we want to make sure
we're both understand what's happening and what's going on.
But you know, it just takes mental energy to always be on
top of it all. So some of it's like, well, hey,
I'll, I'll do it, I'll manage it.
But when we need to make decisions, we try and make them
(11:00):
together. I mean, we do make them
together. We make big decisions and you
know, Kate will lead some decisions in in some areas of
our finances and I'll lead otherdecisions.
And the other thing is like we that we've the, you know,
talking about other couples is just yeah, yeah, continue to be
on the same page and never try and be like, oh, well, you got
(11:20):
this. So I get this and you know, you
spend this and so therefore I need to spend this.
So we've kind of never had that.Yeah, that idea of kind of yeah.
Life's not fair, it's never needed to be fair between us.
Yeah. And making sure we're
communicating what that looks like.
It's more of that swings and roundabouts.
We know there are times where one of us will spend more and
(11:40):
then the other does. So it doesn't need to be, yeah,
just trying to keep up with one another, spending the same.
Amount, Yeah, yeah. Something, it's something I was
thinking of as you guys were talking.
So obviously you've got obviously experience in finances
and budgets and and so forth. And, and you, you know, you with
your podcast navigating through all of that, how would a couple
(12:02):
like start the process of getting on the same page?
You know, I mean how, how would you encourage that?
Journey to actually happen. I think for me, I think it
starts with from a place of humility for both parties, which
is, which can be a very challenging place to start with
anyway. But I'll just use a little
(12:23):
example and I'm hope this helps answer the question.
A couple of years ago or during COVID, I was doing some silly
online shopping, just spending on things that I didn't need
spending more. Than.
I should have the yeah, yeah, spending more than we had.
It got to a point where I just had to say, hey, feel like I'm
(12:45):
really sorry, but this is what'sbeen happening.
And he was so approachable, he was so willing to, he, he didn't
cut me down. He was so willing to kind of go,
OK, cool, let's workshop a solution so that we can, you
know, you can have spending money.
Well, both of us can have some spending money.
(13:07):
So that then there's, there's things that we can save up for.
We know that that's our specificmoney that we have.
And so it kind of it, it gave mefreedom in that, but then also
the boundaries to know this is what's going to be best for the
family. And so I think one of those
questions is really like, what's, what's the goal for the
family? Like what's the, you know,
(13:27):
finances are a tool. And So what is it that we want
this tool to help us achieve? When you're, because obviously
when you're navigating and we'refeeling this right now, we're
buying a house and we're navigating some really big
financial decisions and stresses.
And I find myself having momentswhere I'm like just in my head
(13:47):
about it. It's not even the reality
necessarily. It's not even that once I talk
about it, a lot of time I feel way better with Blair.
Like I air it out and we work onit and we're on it.
We're in that team kind of perspective.
And if I feel way better, but I just get stuck in my head.
So there's obviously a lot of anxiety that people can feel
around the topic of money. And in your journey, you talked
(14:08):
about how when you started as a couple, you really didn't have
much as a family. And then you ended up, you know,
having adding your children intothe situation.
How would you have? Well, how have you navigated
those times where it's just fromthe outside perspective?
It's a really stressful situation and many people really
do feel that. Yeah, I mean, yes, some of the
(14:28):
things that we think about we, we were fortunate we had no
money. So like some of the couple
dynamics, if someone comes with more wealth or more financial
security and then someone else doesn't, that can be hard to
navigate as a, as a couple joining together that we just
didn't, we had the luxury of no money.
And, and in that environment, the other thing that we've kind
(14:49):
of always thought about it and actively talked about as a
couple is we hold kind of any wealth or financial security
that we build up fairly loosely.We don't really, you know, our,
our self worth isn't rolled up in, in our wealth that we are
kind of building and creating. And so if if it goes for
whatever reason, then it's not, it's, it doesn't kind of define
(15:13):
us or we're not. It can be stressful, but we're
not so worried. We're all going to die at the
end so much. Yeah, and you can't take it
with. You does it really matter?
Yeah. So that's been that's been
helpful. But you know, we had young
family, we started a small business, we weren't making much
money. So that's stressful.
I think we we have an film mightdisagree with me, but we have
(15:34):
always been relatively budget conscious.
I grew up with parents that werevery frugal.
And so I think a big approach for us was we never don't know
if it's quite the right way, butwe never really felt entitled to
a particular lifestyle or a particular, you know, the top
brands or anything like that. We were just we tried to take a
(15:57):
very just practical approach in going, OK, like I know this
isn't what I can afford at the moment.
What can I afford? Like for me being able to buy,
you know, the name brand dairy, that was like my first step step
up when we were able to earn a little bit more because that was
just one of the things to me. But yeah, just not having that,
(16:17):
you know, delaying the appointments to see someone
about my feet hurting or, you know, just very small things
like that, which aren't necessarily, you know, if you
can spend money on health, then do.
But yeah, there's a lot of things that we just tried to
like if we were going out for dinner with friends, sometimes
we'd we'd eat beforehand. And then go and just.
(16:39):
Hang out like because it didn't need to be one or the other, we
could still enjoy being with other people and just.
Yeah. And we, I mean we went through
an interesting journey at the very beginning of our marriage.
We both worked heaps. Kate worked full time, I worked
full time. I was coaching acrobatics like 3
(17:03):
or 4 nights a week. Kate was babysitting.
So we we actually like relatively low income full time
work, but we made good money pretty quickly and we we
literally ate rice and tuna for.Wow.
The very start of our marriage and but we saved up a lot of
money really quickly. But then we kind of we, we felt
(17:23):
that we were very precious aboutmoney and like very stingy in,
in not in an unhealthy way. And then when we went overseas,
we did feel there was a big switch in going, Hey, like it's
money will come, Money will go. Like, let's not be not be
flippant about money, be respectful that it is something
that's, you know, creates a lot of burden in our lives.
(17:44):
And, you know, but, and potentially, you know, frees us
up in a lot of ways, but we kindof went through a journey of the
very like for the first two years of our marriage where we
gained a lot of money. And then we, we spent it and we,
and you know, we felt God was kind of allowing us to go
through that time of literally going back to having no money
again or being in debt actually again.
(18:06):
Yeah, and just just. Learning, I think to be generous
with what we had is yeah, to to be frugal where we need to be
and then generous where we need to be.
I think was it kind of put thosein their right order.
So that was very good. Yeah, I feel like there's a,
there is like you can go either extreme, either really obsessed
(18:28):
with, you know, not spending like you've said or really,
really extreme in terms of beingdisrespectful, which is the
phrase you said as well with themoney.
And it's kind of, it's kind of hard to find that neutral ground
sometimes if you especially if you don't have good comforting
patterns in place or a good discipline in place in that
space, how do you navigate? So you would be talking to
(18:51):
people all the time that you're helping advise them in this
space. How do you see people navigating
these feelings stuck in the areaof money versus kind of a
freedom regardless of what you do have?
Yeah. I mean, it's just being clear
about kind of what the goal is. I think it's, it's often like
for us, like when we first got married, we were clear, we
(19:11):
wanted to travel, actually wanted the ability to maybe move
overseas. That was kind of on the card.
So it was like, let's save our money to do that.
And then when we decided we justwant, we want to be travelling,
then that money was set for thatpurpose and we utilised that
money for that purpose. So I think for us, it's always
been about and then for people Italked to and you know, the, the
(19:33):
work that I've done a lot of work in the past doing that
stuff is, is just making sure you've got a very clear goal in
mind. And that's something we've kind
of come back to is like we, we three years ago, we upgraded
from our first house to our kindof what will likely be our
forever home. And and so we're kind of tick
that box off. And so and business is going
(19:54):
well. And so kind of the financial
security, we're kind of tick that box off.
And so it's just been like. You know, last year when we kind
of overspent, it was probably less kind of understanding
exactly what our goals were and more we're trying to achieve.
Yeah. So that's why the start of this
year was, it was a matter of just going like, how do we just
kind of pull it back and make sure we're, we are trying to
(20:15):
achieve those goals. And, and that's kind of the
work. And you know, we, we engage
other professionals to help us with that stuff as well, like
just making sure we're both clear on that goal.
And sometimes my goal may drive that.
Sometimes Kate's goals will drive it.
Kate will have a passion for something that we both go
towards and and vice versa. Yeah, it feels almost similar to
(20:37):
kind of, I guess how you'd approach something like a
fitness goal or something. You having those goals helps you
kind of stay in track and know which way you're moving and what
you're working towards, which I think is when you feel
overwhelmed by finances can be really hard to keep in insight
because you can just be like, I just don't feel like I'm even
like on top of anything and out the window.
(20:58):
Hey guys, we're just gonna take a little break right now.
We if you've been listening intothese episodes and you're like,
man, Amy is a so full of wisdom,so full of wisdom.
I wanna say there's a reason whyAmy does most of the leading in
these conversations 'cause she'sa lot more full of wisdom than I
am. See, you are you do well, You do
really well. Thanks.
(21:18):
But you should know that Amy actually does this for a living.
Amy, tell us what's going on. I do indeed.
Yes, I am a coach. You are a qualified coach and
this is something that that I'm very passionate about.
I love helping people work through these things.
You've heard it in our episodes.This is how we navigate our
relationship and our family. Having curiosity and exploring
(21:39):
these things and figuring out what sits behind them.
And so this is the sort of stuffthat I get to do with my clients
and the women that I'm working with, which is really exciting.
So if there is anything that you're feeling a little bit like
you just need a bit more clarityin.
If you're feeling stretched thinor things are just not feeling
like they're clicking right for you, like you're holding a lot
of stuff together outside, but inside something's just not
(22:02):
functioning. That is something that I would
love to explore with you and work through with you in terms
of trying to find just a little bit more clarity about what's
going on. The tools that I've learned in
coaching have been wild and super helpful for us, super
helpful for me. Even as I'm helping other women.
I am like sitting there in the sessions that I'm saying out of
my mouth and I'm remembering a tool that I'm like, Oh my gosh,
(22:25):
yes. And I love.
That I love watching you in thisspace as well because after
every one of her sessions with their clients, it's not like
I've got through that. It's always like, man, I love
this. So this is something that you
are actually passionate about you, you love this stuff.
You love journey and walking with women through these
different areas. If you are interested, reach
(22:46):
out, go to Honey We need to chat.com and get in touch.
Yeah, we can do a free 30 minuteclarity call as well.
That's always on the table. Not a hard like sell or any kind
of difficult manipulative thing.It's just a chat for 30 minutes
going through some stuff. To see if this will.
Fit for you, See if it works foryou, figuring out where you're
at in life and just having a conversation back and forth.
So hop onto the website. Check it out.
(23:09):
Let's have a chat. Let's do it.
Let's get back to the episode. If you had, you know, someone,
if there was a couple that's listening to this and they're
like, we really don't have our heads around this.
We haven't navigated it really healthy before, but we want to
get into the rhythm of putting some things in place.
Would there be any tips that you'd have for them to just
start? Yeah.
(23:29):
I mean, I think the, the way we worked on it this year was, you
know, we we'd had like differentbucket bank accounts for buckets
of money in the past. But you know, in the last seven
years, we kind of just had the one bank account.
Money would come in, money wouldcome out that one bank account.
And then, and that was kind of when Kay was saying she was
overspending, it was like I, I didn't notice.
(23:50):
It wasn't like I was checking the bank accounts and approached
Kay. Kay just came and, and talked
about it. But structurally that wasn't
that good for us. And So what we've done now is
because when you've got a mortgage, like there's, it's
just a big chunk of money that comes out every month.
And so, you know, especially if you're not looking at the bank
accounts every day, which it kind of shouldn't be ideally
(24:11):
like you, then you're like, oh, wait, is the mortgage being paid
or is that money in that accountminus the mortgage?
Or is that still to come out? So what we've done structurally
is we've, we've both set up likeour own spending account, small
money, small amount of money will go out every week into our
own spending account. And that's just whatever we want
personally. And then our our savings account
(24:34):
is, is in one bank account whereall our pays and our money goes
into and then our spending for the month, not including the
mortgage goes into one account. So we know that, you know, money
will hit that account at the start of the month.
And that's our budget for all spending except for the big
lumpy spending like the mortgage.
And I think that's helped, helped us a lot.
(24:56):
Yeah, but from a practical pointof view, too, from someone who's
probably less reluctant to kind of really invest the brainpower
in it, which is something that I'm pushing myself to do.
You know, I always think about that scene in Gilmore Girls
where Emily Gilmore, when Richard dies and Emily just has
no idea what to. Do yes and.
(25:17):
So that's always been a big driver for me to be like, OK, as
much as I don't want to, it's really important that I'm on top
of everything that's happening. Yeah.
And so I would say from a practical point of view to try
and make the experience around discussing it as enjoyable as
possible. So.
(25:37):
Like pick an actual date and saythis is the time.
Don't do it at night time when you're grumpy or you know, when
the kids are coming in and out. Like trying actually, yeah, like
get out some time from your weekto discuss it.
Have some beers, have some wine,have a cheese platter while
you're discussing it. Just just just so that you can
both be in the best mood possible when you're talking
(26:01):
about it and really try and comeat it with humility and
reminding each other that you'reon one another's side.
I think is is really important because it it can so quickly
become, you know, you're gettingyour backs up against each
other. Yeah, yeah.
And, and I mean, money's funny when you're in a couple with
like, you know, if there's moneyin a bank account and one person
spends it, then the other personcan feel like, well, that's my
(26:23):
money you've spent. Yeah.
So like one thing that we've, you know, just in kind of a lot
of our relationship, we've always tried to look at that as
we're on the same team. Like, I mean, we we did a
marriage course, alpha marriage course like 612 months ago.
And one of the things that stuckout to me was talking about the
problem is, is don't have the problem in between you 2
(26:46):
discussing the problem. Like if you do have a problem
with finance, try not to think about it like that with the
problem in front of you. You can talk about it side by
side and go, hey, let's, let's we're on one.
We're on each other's side. We're a team.
How do we address this problem of overspending or, you know,
not having clarity around our finance or whatever, whatever
the problem may be? Yeah, thinking about it as we're
(27:08):
A-Team, if you spend the money, it's not taking it away from me.
It's taking away from us if there's an overspending problem.
Yeah, I really like that visual of it, placing it in front of
you rather than between you. I think that's a really powerful
perspective and approach to havewith.
I think one thing they said in that course too is if you're
both coming to a a issue with different solutions, but neither
(27:33):
of those solutions are working, then the next thing to do is
work together to find the third solution rather than you know
it's it's yours or theirs. It's about finding that third
solution then. Yeah, that's great as well.
Yeah, instead of kind of forcingfighting for your solution to be
the one. I love that.
That's really helpful and reallypractical.
(27:53):
I think we've talked a lot on the podcast about one of our
favourite pieces of advice as a couple is to set aside a check
in night regularly where you check in on the things that can
be tough if you're trying to raise them in the moment.
And adding a the budgety type conversation into that can be
could be a good idea as well. Marking it like you said, Kate,
(28:14):
with making it fun, making it like a date night kind of vibe
or having a a nice drink or a cheese platter or whatever to
turn the tone around so that youare coming at it as a couple I
think is really helpful way of approaching it.
Yeah, we've had times where I, Ithink we kind of, well, we
complement each other in different ways as a couple and
(28:35):
we both have different strengths, as everybody does
when they're in a relationship. And I find when I'm in charge of
finances, I just get so stressed.
I'm so stressed about the detail.
I feel stressed and behind all the time.
Whereas Blair's a lot more kind of just problem solving and and
approachable about it. So we've found a good rhythm, I
think between the two of us in terms of how to work as a team
(28:56):
in that space. But I think it's a really
important point that you raise, Kate, that you know, lots of
people do have very separate understandings of these things.
And in situations where you might not be, you know, life
changes, it throws you a curveball and you don't
necessarily have that long term.It's important to have to be a
little bit more at team orientedin that space, I think, and just
(29:19):
approaching it gently, but allowing yourself to learn so
that you're as equipped as you can be individually and
together. Because I, I know people that
are really struggling financially and to bring that
up, you know, with your partner can be, there can be a lot of
pride, I guess, in the conversation, but a lot of guilt
in the conversation too. Like a shame, especially with a
(29:42):
lot of the young families that we talk with, a lot of the guys
that, you know, might be at home, babies just being born and
a lot of guys are going to work and just really wrestling with
that. So finance is like this huge
mountain in some people's eyes. Yeah, like, you know, something
we we haven't touched on the news that like going back to
work dynamic and you know that you know what, where does the
(30:04):
pressure come from? And you know, we've always
talked about it, like Kate's always said, hey, if if I need
to go back to work, then we'll go back to work.
We'll make it happen and making sure we're both aligned in terms
of our priorities, like we were pretty well aligned in terms of
our priorities for Kate to be athome with the girls.
(30:26):
Now between between the 1st 2, Kate went back to work and
because we also value childcare a lot, yeah, we put a lot of
value in that as well. But just being super aligned,
like we've got one of our team members is a career changer and
her husband was a career changeras well.
So he went and did an apprenticeship.
So as and she's a similar age tous young kids.
(30:50):
And so her husband became an apprentice, dropped down income
and then once he was qualified, then she could then do her
career change. So it was kind of this just just
determining priorities of going,OK, yeah, you hate your job
more. So you you do the career change
now and I'm happy to keep going.And then, you know, when it made
(31:10):
sense for their household to to do the second career change.
Yeah. Yeah, that's how they navigated
it. But yeah, for us, it's been,
from my point of view, it's kindof been that career change was
relatively easy because I came from no money.
Art is no monies, finances, moremoney than art basically even
(31:31):
like the junior nothing job in finance is more than art.
So in terms of my journey, I, I had to study online.
So I was working full time with a young family, studying online
as well. And so yeah, I was really
interested in doing that as a career.
I really wanted to go in that direction.
I wanted to start my own business and I saw that
financial advice is a great opportunity to be able to start
(31:53):
my own business, yeah. Yeah.
And and as well it's it's gonna be priority for you guys to, you
know, a priority of getting on the same page.
I know that seems seems quite cliche or easy to say, but
again, that is a a hard journey for a lot of a lot of people to
navigate. We'll never go how to do that as
well. So having as a priority is
probably the first step too, andthen putting those things in
(32:14):
place to to help you guys get there.
But yeah. And we I mean, we still talk
about that a lot as well. Like, you know, in terms of like
Kate's writing now and, you know, does Kate take time away
and, and go away to to invest inthat?
Does it, you know, Kate's not doing paid work at the moment.
And that's, you know, a decisionwe've made as a household pay.
(32:36):
We want to make that investment,you know, not getting paid work.
And so it just just doesn't finish.
You just constantly got to be having these conversations about
where are our priorities. And half the time you just got
to guess what the other person thinks.
But it's just so much easier if we just communicate it and tell
each other. Across because.
It's so much guilt and like, like actually when it comes to
(32:58):
money and working and paid work or looking out for Q, it's as
there's so many emotions and guilt that gets wrapped up and
like, sometimes I can be frustrated.
You know, historically when our kids were younger and we weren't
making money in the business, like I was getting frustrated
and kind of, you know, portraying that on Kate.
And then Kate would kind of feellike, oh, am I the cause of
(33:21):
that? Because I'm not doing pain work
and we're investing and looking after our kids and there's all
of those kind of dynamics that we we work through and.
Yeah. I think like going back to what
you're saying originally to Blair with the like,
particularly because there was along stretch where we weren't
making much money. I was always really careful,
(33:42):
particularly as the wife to and correct me if I'm wrong, I don't
think I did. But just to not put it on feel
that you should be making more money or why aren't we making
anything? Like I was always very cautious
not to say anything like that. And then, you know, to not say
that meant that I actually had to not think that way.
(34:02):
Yes. Exactly.
And so just trying to put, put the work into to learn to be
content with where we were and genuinely content.
And that's that I think is the like #1 I think if we weren't
content there, then we could never be content anywhere we
are. So that was a big thing for me
(34:23):
too, to make sure that like, I was, you know, always building,
trying to build him up as much as we could, OK.
Yeah. You could tell me.
If I'm no, you were No, I mean, also from my point of view,
because Kate doesn't want to sayit about herself.
Kate is amazing and and has always been amazing at at
(34:43):
basically even even like we had some issues at work, people
issues. The bigger we get, the less, the
less money issues we have and the more people issues we have.
Yeah. And so it's just like there's a
lot of drain, but I prefer people issues than money issues,
100% money issues. And, and we were saying this the
other day, making money in the business is everything else can
(35:06):
kind of resolve itself and work through itself.
Money issues is really, really difficult as a household, as a
business. But one thing, even recently,
you know, we were talking about some people issues and Kate's
like, look, if it all goes away,doesn't matter.
And, and, and we've had that conversation for using, even
though forever having the business, it hasn't ever been
(35:29):
AI. You know, we need this business
to make work. It's always been a, if we have
to give it away because it's toostressful, it's, you know,
creating too much of A burden, then we do it.
And, and knowing that and Kate, you've always been good at
actually saying it as well. And it's just helped me know
that I look, the downside risk is pretty insignificant.
Like the financial downside riskcan be stressful and there can
(35:53):
be a lot of guilt, you know, having a business and if it goes
down the drain, that's stressfuland there's a lot of guilt
there. But knowing that none of that
guilt would have been placed from Kate really framed to be
able to take risks, kind of do that that we want to be doing.
Yeah. And that you need to be doing, I
guess to be growing. That's what is part of it.
(36:13):
That's huge. I think that.
I love what you said, Kate, about the internal side of it
needs to be there. The work has to be there because
if you're not, you might. It doesn't matter what you say.
Like, yeah, it's fine. It's fine.
But if you're internally frustrated or internally
stressed or whatever is going onand you're not working on that,
it will philtre out and it's gonna.
Come out. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna come out.
What? Have we said we we heard
(36:34):
something as well as like, what is it?
The saying I'm gonna butcher it so bad?
But it's about like, if we we don't say what we say, you still
have a loud conversation. Yeah, yeah.
Not not saying something is saying something loudly
basically like you'd sometimes not the I don't remember, we're
butching the butchering it, but basically.
It was really good. It was a really good not.
Commenting on Google, you just do something.
(36:56):
Around. That.
Just listen to all the other episodes and you'll find it.
Yeah, so not but deadly. Is that the one?
Basically that's. The one, Yeah, yeah.
You ever smelt it Delta? Yeah, what's what's cool as well
as like hearing you guys, you know, because you guys are never
getting something so much, so much greater than we are.
You know, Amy and I with, with our finance, finance situation,
(37:16):
we're we're dealing with our family, we're dealing with our
house and, and all the things that are going on with that.
But you guys have this whole other level of business, you
know, and I feel like that's like a whole other level of
stress when it comes down to finance, like you guys running
the business and so forth as well.
So it's really great to see justthe, the, the processing that
you guys are having now and the conversations you're having now.
(37:38):
What I'm seeing is just like, well, we've got each other's
back. Like first and foremost, we've
got each other's back. We're supporting each other
first and then we deal with the finances.
Like the finances aren't the main part of the conversation.
It's your relationship, your, your care for each other and
your support for each other. We're going to get that sorted
first. Now let's tackle the finances
and so forth, which has been really coming out of that.
(38:00):
And I'm, I'm assuming that hasn't always been the easy
thing to do too though. How have you found that process?
It's kind of. Perfect, like if perfect's here,
I'm just like, no, I mean it's alot of work.
It, it takes a lot of work and you know, we, you know, every
marriage is like a roller coaster every day.
But like, you know, we went through some difficult times
(38:22):
where we, it's not great going through difficult times.
We're going through it together and realising like being very
clear that Kate has my back and I have hers and we're on the
same level. And so much of the things that
like are fundamentally core to our being that we want to stand
against was really important part of our marriage journey.
(38:44):
That happened, you know, a number of years ago.
That was like, I think ever since then it's been very clear
that like, I don't know, becauseyou're always questioning or do
they actually have my back? Yeah.
And for the first one, like 10 years of our marriage, it was we
always got along. We didn't fight a lot.
But you always kind of just question, do they actually have
(39:04):
my best interests at heart or they just being selfish?
Because we're all selfish. We all do things that are
selfish. But recognising that our, you
know, our, the core to our relationship is, you know,
making sure we have each other'sback and we care for each other
and love for each other like, And so we went through some
difficult times external to our marriage that really bonded us
(39:25):
together. And so ever since then, I've
it's actually been really easy from my point of view, but I'm
not married to. No, Kate, has it been easy?
Yeah, like as in it's not, it's not an uphill battle every day.
And we're incredibly fortunate that we have been able to get to
that. You know, that level of intimacy
(39:47):
and friendship and enjoying eachother.
It's we're, yeah, very blessed. For that, yeah.
Yeah, we're all about me. Yes, I'm just just in case you
wouldn't. Aware I didn't say confirmation.
No, yes, there we'll. Take that offline.
We're all about communication, obviously.
That's the whole kind of foundation of the podcast.
(40:09):
And I think a lot of what you guys have spoken about and a lot
of what people I think tackle inin marriage and in relationship
in general is it comes down to your willingness to communicate
about where you're at. So these kind of internal things
that, yes, I really, really wantto support my partner in this
and I really want to have their back, but I just also have this
little thing going on inside me that's anxious.
(40:31):
So this little thing going on that makes me doubt them or
whatever it is that's going on, being able to kind of strip down
to those those issues that you want to communicate and just be
gentle. And then also being receptive to
that as well. And I think tackling
conversations like finance and tackling the waves that
relationship brings, if you're able to hold space for each
(40:53):
other and foster that kind of really raw but gentle
communication about how you're really going instead of just
what you want it to be or how you want to be going, I think
that helps to build the foundation of yeah, that's kind
of the foundation that you do build off, I guess.
And that's kind of what will help you navigate these storms
because you know, you're on the same page.
(41:14):
You know what you can expect from your partner, you know what
you can trust from them. And you you, you know that you
trust yourself in that space as well.
So last question then, if there was something that you guys
could say to 20 year old Kate and Phil when you're getting
married about this area of life,what would it be?
We did, we talked about this last night and I forget exactly
(41:35):
our, our discussion points, but my point was, and this is
something we actually disagree on.
You know, I was saying that we saved money really, really
quickly and we saved like $80,000 in the space of like 9
months when you literally ate rice and tuna.
Yeah. And so a part of me still kind
of is thinking I kind of wish webought a house.
(41:57):
Instead. Of houses backing when when was
07 like 8 yeah we're so excited and so even just understanding
like the fundamentals around finance and going we could have
still gone travelling and done everything we had done just if I
was more aware of the financial situation and because there are
(42:18):
still plenty of things to do so and I reckon I reckon we would
have been further ahead financially had we kind of
engaged and thought about it when we were 20 Kate disagrees
because she's like tell him you can tell him why you disagree I.
Disagree, I said. I think that if we hadn't have
travelled when we did, I don't think I would have ever
(42:41):
travelled. And I said I knew my exact words
were I would have been crazier, I would have been far more
controlling and I'd be very, very difficult to live with and
much more depressed. And so for me, having that
experience of travel where, you know, we were literally
backpacking, it was US against the world.
(43:02):
Like we had no one, no one else to communicate.
We were forced to communicate with each other, which was
something I was lacking in, you know, as I came into the
marriage. And so for me, it was really
important that I had that experience because I think I
would have been a very differentperson.
Yeah. Yeah, I understand.
(43:23):
I compound interest and buy a house in 08.
Buying a house in 08 seems like sneezing or something is so
different. I we actually resonate, I think,
'cause we, we didn't buy when wecould have and we didn't
actually know at the time that we could have.
But now knowing what we know, wecould have.
And every now and then I'm like,man, I just wish, I just wish we
(43:44):
had. I wish we'd bought them.
But we didn't do either. We didn't buy a house.
Or travel. So yeah, but I.
I guess what you said, Amy, is like, we didn't know we could
have. Yeah, that's that's my kind of
regret. I wish I had invested in
personal understanding and growth on personal finance
because I was interested in it, because again, we could have
travelled, we could have had both and I've known what I know
(44:06):
now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's an easy trap to fall into that what what we could have
known. Yeah, what would he have said to
yourself, Kate? 20 year old Kate.
I said something really profoundlast night and I can't remember
what it was now. Do you remember?
I'm joking. It wasn't prevent, but do you
remember? Yeah, I don't know.
I think I the question, what would you say to a newly married
(44:27):
Kate and Phil? I probably wouldn't talk about
money if I was. I would just be giving like,
like, you know, some of those lessons, those hardships that we
went through and going like actually just skip those 12
years of kind of fighting and, and like, and we weren't again,
we didn't fight, but it was justlike this.
We kind of, we were young when we got married, we kind of grew
(44:48):
up together, but there was this kind of just innate selfishness
in me mainly. And so that kind of going, Hey,
you, you just know that you're on each other's side, you love
each other, you care for each other.
That's probably the advice I would give.
I wouldn't give any financial advice.
I wouldn't buy the house. You're.
On each other side and buy the house.
(45:11):
I think really if if you're talking specifically finances,
it's just that, yeah, just communicate with each other
about it and and trust that eventhough that like when you first
married, that kind of real deep intimacy isn't quite there yet.
You know, obviously it's not something you can force or
hurry, but just remembering thatyou're on each other's side, I
(45:33):
think is is the biggest one. Yeah, absolutely.
No, that's great. Awesome.
That's great, guys. Well, thank you so much for
joining us. Where can people find you if
they are interested in learning more Phil?
So my business is SKY, e.com dotAU Sky and we work with the
Aussie clients and I'm on LinkedIn.
(45:58):
We don't really post much places.
I saw you on TikTok today so youcould find him on TikTok as well
apparently. There you go.
I've I've got a, I've got a marketing team in the business.
Hopefully it was you hosting you.
And too much of A boomer to evenunderstand how many of that
works. Yeah, let the team do that, too.
Yeah, that's great. Great.
(46:19):
Well, thank you so much for joining us, guys.
We really, really appreciate your wisdom and your time, and
we think this will be a blessingto the people listening.
Cheers you guys.
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