September 11, 2025 • 54 mins
In this powerful episode of Hope Unlocked, Kristin Kurtz welcomes Vanessta Spark, founder of Spark Our Spirit Ministries, to share her journey from trauma to transformation. Vanessta reveals how Jesus healed deep wounds of depression, loneliness, and emotional pain through inner healing and Immanuel Prayer. She now equips women to tear down walls around their hearts and embrace freedom, identity, and purpose. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking spiritual healing, breakthrough from past wounds, and renewed connection with God.
Vanessta's Contact Info:
Website - www.sparkourspirit.org
Spark Our Spirit Ministry Events:
Canvas of the Heart Fundraiser on 11/1/25
Healing Our Heart Story Women's Conference on 11/15/25
🎙️Hope Unlocked Listener Exclusive! Feeling stirred but not sure what to do next? Book a 45-minute Holy Spirit-led 1:1 coaching session w/ Hope Unlocked host Kristin Kurtz, founder of New Wings Coaching. This powerful conversation will help you move from stirred to activated—with peace, clarity, & a Spirit-led next step. Book your call HERE now–special pricing to listeners!
The Hope Unlocked🔑 Podcast is a clarion call to keep going. Wild testimonies of faith & courage cut through the noise & ignite hope. Every financial gift helps amplify these voices & spread hope around the world — and you can also leave a note to share how the podcast has encouraged you. Join me in carrying this sound of freedom forward. Partner HERE
🎙️ Ready to take your next BOLD step?
Book your Hope Unlocked – Unlocking Session, a 45-minute coaching conversation with host Kristin Kurtz, founder of New Wings Coaching. This is your invitation to pause, press in, and activate the bold step God is calling you to next—at special listener pricing. Schedule your call HERE
Ways to connect with Kristin Kurtz, the Hope Unlocked Host -
Website - https://www.newwingscoaching.net/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/renew.wings/
Join the NEWSletter HERE
Medical Disclaimer: Information in this podcast is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. The views and testimonies expressed are tho...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast.
I'm your host, Kristen Kurtz,and I'm also the founder of New
Wings Coaching.
I help and empower wildheartedand adventurous women of faith
feeling caged and stuck, unlocktheir true purpose and potential
, break free from limitationsand thrive with confidence,
courage and hope.
If you're curious to learn moreabout coaching with me, head to
newwingscoachingnet and be sureto explore the show notes for
(00:38):
ways to connect with me further.
Get ready to dive in as weuncover empowering keys and
insights in this episode.
So tune in and let's unlockhope together.
Welcome to the Hope Unlockedpodcast.
I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host.
I pray this episode is like aholy IV of hope for your soul.
Please help me.
Welcome Vanessa Spark to theshow.
I am so thrilled to have herhere today.
(01:00):
I know that her story and whatshe has coming for many people,
especially locally, is going tobe amazing, and I just knew that
this was the time that hervoice needed to be released,
that she could release her soundand really share her
testimonial with you guys.
So, Vanessa, would you be opento just sharing a little bit
about yourself before we getinto your story?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Sure, yes, right now.
I started a nonprofit calledSparker Spirit Ministries
actually last November, underthe coaxing of the Holy Spirit,
to help women with inner healing.
I actually heard the Lord sayto me I need you to prepare
(01:44):
women to pull down the wallsaround their.
The women that I'm meeting, andI'm really loving the education
(02:09):
and teaching part of my job.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yes, well, I know we've talked before and I know
your heart as a teacher and thatyou're bringing your teaching
gift into everything that you do.
So when he gave you thismandate, we'll say like you said
there was a little tensionthere, right?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yes, because I had retired from the education
world.
I have 41 years in theeducation world and I thought,
well, this is my time now toretire.
And so initially, when I firstheard that, I thought I don't
know if I really want to do that.
(02:51):
Lord, that sounds like a lot ofwork, a nonprofit, but it's
been a blessing.
It's been a blessing not onlyfor my personal growth with the
Lord, but it's been a blessingin all of the beautiful women
that I have been meeting andhearing their stories and
helping them walk through theirinner journey.
(03:14):
I call it the SOS journey.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
SOS.
I love that.
So I know one thing.
I just want to just stop herefor a second, because I know
that women mostly women listento this.
That are you know, it's multigenerational, and I'll never
forget kind of this flip thescript when I was working with a
client.
She's in her 60s and he saidthis you're not retiring, you're
(03:39):
actually going to refire.
Yes, so for those of you whoare listening and you know maybe
you're on the cusp of retiringor you've retired, what would
you say to them?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I would say, you know , it's wonderful to follow the
Lord's coaxing, it's wonderfulto follow His assignments,
because it's a rebirthing ofyourself.
I feel like right now that I amembracing the identity that he
(04:13):
gave me many years ago when Iwas born.
I feel like I'm returning fullcircle to who he called me to be
and through life and throughthe hurts and pains of life, you
know, sometimes your path cango off in different directions,
and now he's bringing me backfull circle and it's, I would
(04:38):
say, embrace it, enjoy it.
It enlightens you when you walkand follow the Lord.
Yeah, it's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's beautiful.
I love you know just even thefull circle word, because that's
been coming up quite a bit andI want to just, you know,
reiterate in a way like it'snever too late no God created
you to fully be, would you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
say Right, yes, it's say Right, yes, it's never too
late.
You know, I started my innerhealing journey in the middle of
my 60s and I loved it.
It rebirthed me into who he hascalled me to be the whole time,
and I have passion about itbecause it has just released a
(05:27):
lot of negative emotions, a lotof negative pains, and, with
that released, it made room forhis gifts in my life, and so
it's kind of like clearing outthe sludge in your life and then
he rebirrs you into somethingnew, something wonderful.
(05:47):
So I think the inner healingjourney is for everyone, no
matter what age.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
That you're at.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, you never want to give up, you never give up.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, give up with you on that.
So for somebody listening todaywho happens to be just kind of
wondering, I'm always, you know,coming from the perspective of
somebody who's wondering, right,like they might be wondering
what is inner healing.
You know what is inner healingand how were you led to step
into inner healing?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You know, I think I stepped into inner healing
through pain I feel like myentire life.
There was an undercurrent ofanxiety, overwhelm, loneliness.
There was an undercurrent ofloneliness that always
surrounded my heart and I wouldtry to numb it with things.
(06:43):
The things I numbed it withwould be working.
You know, I overworked, Ioverdid everything to try to
numb those feelings ofinsecurity, pain, abandonment,
rejection, and so you know, Iwent through a two-year
depression in my late.
(07:04):
So I went through a two-yeardepression in my late 40s.
I was on Social Securitydisability, I was a teacher in
the school system and it came toa point where the depression
just kind of overtook my mindand my body and I was actually
(07:28):
flat on my back for two years.
I had to take my two boys.
I was a single parent.
One of my boys was going toschool, the other boy went to
daycare next door and I actuallylaid in bed for 14 hours a day.
I could barely get up to combmy hair.
I remember laying in my bedroomand looking out the window and
seeing the seasons change.
(07:49):
I remember seeing the fallleaves on this window outside my
bedroom and then there were noleaves and then in the spring
there was buds coming throughand I just thought it seemed
like that occurred in a coupleof days.
I was just in this darkness,this level of darkness, and so
(08:10):
it was through that journey ofthat two-year depression and an
abusive marriage that surroundedthat that I started out seeking
.
You know why did I go throughthat?
You know what happened and thatbegan my journey of inner
healing and I had a friend whohad went through some inner
(08:35):
healing and I think because ofthat friendship that's how I got
started and I learned about thebelief cycle, I learned about
mindset, I learned about soulwounds and heart wounds and I
learned about generationalpatterns and how they affect
(08:56):
your mind.
And so that's what inner healingis about.
It's identifying the thoughtsthat you circulate, the ungodly
beliefs that you circulate.
It's identifying anygenerational patterns that
produce those thoughts that youcirculate.
(09:17):
It's identifying any soul orspirit wounds that are unhealed
in your heart and it's takingall of that to Jesus in exchange
for a gift that he wants togive you.
That kind of summarizes theprocess of the inner healing
(09:38):
walk, and everybody's time frameis different.
Some people move through thatquickly.
Some people move it takes years.
Some people start it, take timeoff, go back to it, but it
really is a freeing processbecause Jesus wants our whole
(09:59):
hearts, not part of them.
He wants our heart to be healed.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, not part of them.
He wants our heart to be healed.
Yeah, yeah, and I love that.
You really, you know,reiterated just even the time
process, because I think, um,you know, including myself at
times like it's it's such ajourney, like there's, yeah,
years that you know I was intrauma, that it's like it can
take time to rewire the thoughtprocess and he can do it.
He can do it like that, right,I'm sure you've seen, yes, areas
(10:31):
of your life that have maybebeen like that.
Um, could you share, like, letme, a little bit more of of that
in the timing you know, haveyou experienced that very quick
deliverance in essence orsomething, something that's
maybe taken, you know, longer toyou know unwire per se?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, you know I had because of.
I grew up in a family whereboth parents were home, but you
know it was a Norwegian family,so that the generational thought
or the culture was you didn'ttalk about feelings, you stuffed
them, you didn't.
You know, I felt like Icouldn't talk about how I felt
(11:14):
about certain things and I was ahighly sensitive.
Well, I am a highly sensitiveperson, so I felt things very
deeply and I really could senseif somebody said their tone of
voice and in what they would say, teachers or friends, their
(11:35):
tone of voice could be in such away that I would be what's the
word?
Demolished by what I would hear, my heart, demolished by what I
would hear my heart.
You know, I would just fall tothe ground when I would hear
certain things that were saidabout me.
You're such a sensitive child.
I was bullied in school forcrying all the time, and so what
(11:57):
I learned to do was to build upwalls around my heart, and
those are what I call my traumaresponses.
My trauma response wasperfectionism, it was people
pleasing, it was performance,and so those walls became a
(12:18):
fortress and I survived quitewell behind those walls.
I and notice the key wordsurvived.
I survived quite well behindthose walls.
I and notice the key wordsurvived I survived behind those
walls.
And so, you know, I did well asa teacher, I did well as an
executive director of a school,I did well growing up with my
(12:41):
grades and so on and so forth,but I lived behind those walls
and I didn't allow anybody tocome in.
You know, to that, to my heart,that's how I survived.
But then in, you know, throughhardships, through the
depression, the two-yeardepression, those walls started
(13:03):
to crumble, the two-yeardepression, those walls started
to crumble.
And then being a perfectionisttakes a lot of energy, it takes
a lot of work to maintain thosewalls.
And so when I got into my 60s,you know, I started to
understand that those walls wereshaking and starting to come
down, and the Lord wanted me tolook behind those walls and to
(13:27):
find out what were the woundsthat I was protecting.
And so, for me, my innerhealing journey and we're always
on the journey, you know, hasbeen relatively short.
It has been the past five years.
Some people take longer, somepeople are healed in a moment,
(13:52):
you know.
And so for me, it has been abeautiful journey of taking a
look at where did those woundsstart, and then using Emmanuel
prayer, which I call hearthealing, to give those wounds to
Jesus and it's kind of likeliquid gold, where he fills the
(14:13):
crack with his love, his liquidlove, and it just makes your
heart and your life pumpstronger.
So I'm not even sure if Ianswered your question.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah.
It's reminding me of you'veprobably heard of, like the
Kintsugi yes.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
A woman gave me a picture of a bowl like that.
So you know, the cracks filledwith gold makes the bowl even
stronger.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, it makes it stronger and more valuable.
Yes, because it's mended withgold.
Yes, isn't that incredible?
Yeah, so I look at you, knowjust your journey and how far
you've come and I, you know, Ihaven't even known you that long
.
I feel like I've known youforever and I just love your
heart and the ways that you, um,are now taking your experience
(15:04):
right yes.
Yes, your healing, and now youhave turned around.
You've literally turned aroundand you are now like hey, this
can be for you too.
So what does that look like foryou, in your turning around, to
say, hey, I want to help you too, like what does that look like
(15:26):
for you to come alongsidesomebody?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, you know, it's in the story, it's in, it's in
everybody's story, the pain inthe story.
When you, when you examine thatpain with Jesus, that pain with
Jesus, when you examine thepain with Jesus, which makes it
(15:51):
safe, when you examine that pain, there is a gift in there.
There is a gift.
There's not only knowledge, butthere is a surrendering of that
pain to him.
And you know, I think I want totell you a story right now, if
(16:15):
that's okay with you, about oneof my heart stories.
And this is what I do withclients, with women who come to
my events with the curriculumthat I take them through, that I
take them through.
It's like identifying thoseparts in their story that is
unhealed, that makes you knowthey might be stuck in emotion,
(16:39):
they might be stuck in anger,they might be stuck in overwhelm
, they might be stuck inloneliness or isolation, or they
could be stuck in overworkingor even busyness, so that
they're living a life of justtotally being unaware of what
God has called them to do.
But you know, so I like to walkalongside them, hear their
(17:00):
story.
It's kind of like identifyingthe walls that they built up
around their heart, theirwounded heart, and then working
with Jesus to pull those wallsdown so that he can come in and
heal and he can go through walls.
Jesus can go through walls.
(17:22):
I mean, it's not that they haveto come down, but we ourselves,
we maintain those walls, we'refocused on those walls.
Even unconsciously, we'refocused on keeping those walls
up.
And I think you know there'ssome steps that we have to take
(17:45):
to prepare the heart for Jesusto come in and heal.
And so I don't know if you wantme to share one of my
situations that are one of myheart stories.
Yes, please, yeah.
So this is, you know, thisheart story.
I've had, you know, numerous,numerous heart healings.
(18:11):
I'm going to call them, whichis, and the method that that we
use is Emmanuel prayer, and it'sthe one that worked for me, and
there's other ways of healingprayers.
But in the situation that I wasin about five years ago, I could
(18:32):
not figure out why I alwaysfelt lonely, even in a crowd, I
could be lonely in a crowd, Icould be lonely at work.
I just had this feeling and Iasked the Lord where does that
loneliness come from?
Where does that angst come from?
(18:54):
And he led me through a journeywith a mentor of mine and the
journey started out with.
I was walking with Jesus infront of the Catalina Mountains
in Arizona and he was walkingnext to me and what was what Go
(19:15):
ahead?
I was just saying, yeah, it'samazing.
And it was just a beautifulmemory.
And in walking alongside him, Ifelt his presence.
And what happened in this memory?
You know?
He, he held my hand, he told mehe would always be with me.
I didn't need to be afraid, Ididn't need to feel shame, and
(19:39):
then he led me into this scene.
That was from my marriage andthe scene in my marriage was I
was lying on the floor with myhands out to the side like a
goalpost and my ex-husband hadpushed me on the floor and he
(20:00):
had brought a chair down and itcame down two inches from my
nose and he said I just wantedto see you flinch.
And then my mentor said do yousee Jesus around you?
He was walking with you and heled you into the scene.
(20:21):
And I actually got mad when sheasked me that question.
I said no, I don't see Jesus.
And if he would have been there, why didn't he stop the chair?
You know, why didn't he stopthe whole situation and she said
look again, do you see Jesusaround you?
And then I did.
(20:41):
I did see him.
He was standing behind myex-husband and he had stopped
the chair.
And the next thing that happenedin this scene was that my
ex-husband put down the chairand he spit in my face.
(21:01):
And he spit three times.
And I remember laying there andI stopped crying because I felt
relief.
It was in that moment that Iknew I was going to, that I was
being released from the marriagebecause there had been so, so
(21:21):
much abuse previous to this.
And my mother always said wedon't get divorced in this
family.
And so I remember feelingrelief because I just knew in my
heart that this abusivemarriage would be over.
And after the spitting, I sawJesus take out this sword.
(21:45):
Because when the spittingoccurred I felt like a dagger
went into my heart and Jesustook out the heart or took out
the sword and he said look atthis, this two-edged sword.
These are all the vile, hurtfulnames that he has called you in
(22:06):
the last 12 years of yourmarriage.
And he goes I am removing thosefrom your heart.
And he said I was spat upon too.
I know how you feel.
I know about the shame, I knowabout the fear of people finding
(22:26):
out, I know about thedegradation that you felt.
And when he took that out hesaid now look at your heart, it
is beating again, it is vibrant,it's pink.
I am removing all of thosestrongholds of fear and shame
(22:48):
from your heart.
And afterwards he said yourex-husband was my son too.
And he said he had unhealedtrauma and the alcohol released
that trauma and released thatspirit, that negative spirit
(23:12):
that was in him.
And you know, after that day,that loneliness, that
undercurrent of loneliness, theanxiety, the fear of even
telling this story to otherpeople was gone.
And it was such a blessing.
(23:33):
You know, I brought back thatmemory.
Jesus healed that part in myheart and he said go out now and
speak about the goodness ofspiritual heart healing, tell
people how I want to make theirhearts whole.
And so that was the one of themost impactful healing stories,
(23:58):
or heart healing stories that Itell in my conferences.
You know I had forgiven.
I had, up until that point, Ihad been divorced from my
ex-husband for 30 years.
Oh, wow, it was 30 years, huh,30 years.
And I had always, you know, asa Christian, I forgave him.
(24:18):
But when I would see him at myson's house, I had this kind of
sickness inside my stomach.
I had a physical like reactioninside my stomach.
I had a physical reaction.
I always thought to myself whydo I have this reaction when
(24:41):
I've forgiven him?
Why and I later learned that Ihad forgiven him with my head
but not with my heart there wasstill some unhealed trauma that
was locked within me and throughthis heart healing, that was
released and I have a totallydifferent feeling about him now.
(25:01):
I had feelings of hatred before,but now I have feelings when I
look at my marriage up untilthat point, you know, he was a
good man, he was a greatprovider, he was funny, he was a
great dad.
It was the alcohol thatreleased something in him that
(25:23):
gave him a false sense of power.
So I tell you this storybecause we, you know, as women,
we have lots of unhealed traumastories or neglect or abuse, or
even somebody can be bullied,and that becomes a point, you
(25:45):
know, that is locked up in theirmind or in their heart.
And when we bring thosesituations to Jesus, he releases
those and replaces the storywith something positive and it
really does change your life.
It really, you know, the peacethat passes all understanding
(26:07):
when we talk about that in theBible.
I feel that peace.
I felt the peace that day.
That portion, that traumaexperience brought me forward.
You know, I feel like thehealing that Jesus provides
moves you forward.
(26:29):
It affects your decisions andyour relationships.
So I know I kind of went allthe way around.
How do you do that?
Well, you know, with women whenthey come to our events, you
know the event and I want toread that too on this podcast.
When they come to my events,it's kind of like scanning your
(27:02):
body, for are there any issuesthat are causing some feelings
that are stuck, that are makingyou stuck in life or making you
wonder is this all there is inlife?
Is this?
You know what's my purpose?
And I feel like you know,coming to the events or entering
into one-on-one prayer healingreally changes your life.
(27:24):
It really empowers you to moveforward and it's just a
wonderful thing.
It's my motivation.
My own healing journey is mymotivation in helping others on
their journey.
But only Jesus can heal.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I'm just walking alongside and you know, as you
were talking, I was evenreminded of like it's almost
like you go to your event for anechocardiogram and even come
inside with you.
We were talking about earlier.
Like people call me a spiritualmidwife, so I get to have like
an ultrasound to see the baby,but you have like an ultrasound
(28:03):
for the heart.
Yes, holy Spirit.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, and that that's a good segue.
Last January, so you know,about seven months ago, I asked
the Lord what is the spiritualmessage that you have for me
this year in these events thatI'm holding?
I held one in Arizona and I'mholding one in Minnesota now
(28:30):
coming up on November 15th, andI'd like you to read what I
journaled that day, because it'sso wonderful when you start
writing and your pen continueson and your thoughts can't even
keep up with the pen.
It's the best, isn't it?
Yeah, it's the best.
And so this is what he said inmy journal.
(28:52):
He said I am the Lord who healsyou.
I will heal you from the insideout.
I will awaken your heart, mendwhat is broken and stitch up
your wounds.
I am the great physician.
But you must come to myhospital, you must open the door
(29:16):
, you must prepare to meet me.
Before healing begins.
We must examine the heart.
Just as a doctor takes x-raysand MRIs to see where to start,
so must we allow the Holy Spiritto reveal what lies beneath the
(29:37):
surface.
Are there blockages,unforgiveness, fear or pain that
are restricting the flow of mylife in you?
Are restricting the flow of mylife in you?
What habits, thoughts orpatterns are feeding the
condition of your heart.
(29:57):
Your choices, your daily habits, even your generational DNA.
These things shape yourspiritual health.
Is there sludge, lies,bitterness, shame moving through
your veins?
My healing power is ready, butI am asking you to prepare the
(30:22):
way.
Today we will identify thetoxins and cleanse the heart,
making room for mytransformation.
Come, lay it all before me andI will make you whole.
Oh my god, that was sowonderful to receive that.
(30:43):
And when did you receive this?
About seven months ago, when Iasked him what was the spiritual
message for these events, andwhat I took from that is the
event is the scanning.
It's the scanning of the heart.
What is in there?
You know, and you know we do agroup Emmanuel prayer healing at
(31:08):
the end.
But again, everything is inaccordance to his timing and you
know, the journey for somecontinues on after that and my
journey took a while and it'sstill.
You know, I'm still I still,since fear has been a big part
(31:31):
of my life.
I still have fragments thatcome up every now and then that
I have to work through, and I'velearned how to do the Emmanuel
prayer healing on myself, whichis wonderful to do with the Lord
, it's always with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yes, and what I was going to ask too, you know as
you.
You know, if you have asituation that comes up like
what you know, if somebody islistening, they're like well,
what does she do?
Like when you have thosemoments like what do you do
tactically to move through thefear?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
do you do tactically to move through the fear?
Yeah well, I make time to soak,soaking, I rest, I play music
and it's really key to ask theLord for forgiveness, to ask Him
for a word.
I read the Bible, I soak andthen I come to him.
With Lord, what do you want toreveal to me right now?
(32:29):
What is the word that you havefor me?
Why do I feel this anxiety instarting this nonprofit?
Why do I feel this anxietyabout bringing this spiritual
painter to Minnesota?
What is behind this fear?
(32:50):
And he usually gives me a visionand then sometimes, if I feel
like I'm not hearing anything,then I will get on board with my
mentor and share with her, withmy mentor and share with her.
And where two or more aregathered, there is he.
And I will gain some moreclarity around why I am feeling
(33:11):
this anxiousness.
And you know it's a beautifuljourney.
It's the intimacy that developsin inner healing.
It's the intimacy that you havewith Holy Spirit, with Jesus,
with God the Father, that isexemplified when you go through
(33:35):
this healing.
The relationship becomes allthe more encompassing.
I'll never forget when I was inmy 30s I always thought, oh, an
intimate relationship with God.
Nah, that's not for me.
I thought I'm not going to haveany fun if that happens.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Well, and speaking of fun, I mean how fun has your
life been since you've gottenmore healed?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
like life been since.
You've gotten more healed.
Oh my gosh, everything changes,um, the decisions that I make,
um.
But here, here is the greatthing, that loneliness that I
talked about as an undercurrent,it's gone.
It's totally gone.
Um the rejection in another.
You know, I had another hearthealing and I always overpleased
with my relationships with menand I found out where the root
(34:33):
of that came.
It came back to a childhoodmemory with my dad and I felt
the abandonment.
And when I took that route,that abandonment to Jesus, you
know, I no longer feel like Ihave to please people so that
(34:53):
I'm not rejected anymore and itjust.
You know, all my relationshipshave changed.
I don't have to people please.
I don't have to perform to havevalue.
I'm valuable, being the belovedchild of God, and I don't have
(35:16):
to do anything.
I want to obey God.
I want to help women andhopefully men later on in my
nonprofit, because they have thesame pains as we do.
(35:36):
And so, yeah, that's whatreally has inspired me to
continue on, because it haschanged my life.
It doesn't mean that we don'thave challenging circumstances.
It's the way.
It's the partnership with theLord, it's the following of his
guidance, but you know what itreally is.
(35:58):
Kristen, I hear his voice more.
Now.
Hear him, you know, I see himand I used to think that people
when I was younger, in my 30sand 40s, I used to think people
who see God, oh, come on, youknow.
People who hear the voice ofGod, oh, really, it's one of
(36:21):
those, you know.
But through this inner healingjourney, my the, the voice that
I hear from Holy Spirit, hasjust been a wonderful guidance
and comfort, um, through thetough times.
Yeah, we need we need them.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
I can't even imagine my life without them.
And it's a growth process.
You know that really is youknow, hearing that word for me
intimacy similar to you I waslike huh, yeah, no thanks.
But now it's like I can't livewithout them, you know it really
is you need to share, like yourupcoming conference here coming
(37:03):
up in Minnesota.
Tell us a little bit more aboutthat and I know you alluded to
what women will experience whenthey walk in.
But if you could just kind oftake us on a little journey of
where did this idea come from?
I have a feeling, I know, butcould you just kind of take us
on that journey of you weregiven an idea.
(37:24):
Were you excited about it?
Was there some tension bringingit to life?
Tell us about birthing thisconference.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Well, the conference came about from my own
experience In 2022,.
I was in a corporate soakingsession with a bunch of women
(37:56):
where you have a teaching andyou play music and you invite
the Holy Spirit in, and that wasthe first time that I had
gotten a vision of Jesus andthat was the first time that I
actually heard a voice.
I had always had a knowingnessof the Holy Spirit, but to hear
a voice where he said to mespeak my beauty to the world,
(38:16):
and I thought I love to traveland I thought, oh Lord, you, you
want me to talk about you tothe world, you want me to travel
, sounds so fun.
And I didn't hear anything.
So I started to research mybeauty Speak my beauty.
What is this?
Is it nature?
Is it kindness, the fruits ofthe spirit?
(38:39):
What is your beauty?
And then I started these hearthealing sessions, these Emmanuel
prayer sessions, and I startedgoing through these heart
healings, one a month, and atthe end of eight months, in
another soaking session, I heardhim say my beauty is the
healing of the spiritual heart.
(39:01):
I want to heal the spiritualhearts of my people and I want
you to prepare the way, and so Istarted writing curriculum then
, and I wrote curriculum, youknow, after I'd went through
training on inner healing and Iwent through some training on
(39:25):
using the Emmanuel prayer methodand so I heard speak my beauty
to the world and opening up thedoors to his healing.
And I know you use the wordkeys.
So there are some keys tounlock shame and fear and
control and abandonment andrejection.
(39:46):
There's some keys in unlockingthat and opening up the doors
and getting to the root of wherethese feelings came about.
So, you know, I started thenonprofit, I had a successful
event in Arizona and so, comingup at this conference, this
(40:08):
Women's Conference November 15th, we are going to open some of
those doors through knowledge,and so we're going to take a
look at the beliefs that we hold, which feeds our thoughts and
feeds our words and our emotionsand our actions.
(40:29):
So if we're doing some actionsor have some behaviors that we
don't like, or if we're havingsome feelings that are keeping
us stuck, overwhelmedanxiousness, then we need to go
back to the belief.
What belief are we operatingunder?
And some of those beliefs wecan discard.
(40:52):
We don't need them anymore.
Some of them are taught to usthrough the generations and so
it's identifying what I callungodly beliefs.
We will do that that day andthen we will take those ungodly
beliefs to the Lord and ask himto replace them with something
(41:13):
from him.
We also that day take a look atgenerational patterns that are
passed down.
We take a look at some traumaoccurrences that form some of
those beliefs.
So it's the unhealed traumathat can produce some of the
(41:33):
feelings and actions that wehave that we no longer need
anymore.
And then at the very end of theconference, we also go move
through forgiveness and learnabout forgiveness that it's a
decision and it's not a feeling,and that the feelings can come
(41:54):
later on.
My feeling about my ex-husbandis completely different right
now.
I look at him completelydifferent than I did before the
heart healing.
I'm sad for him at times thathe doesn't get to see his
grandchildren because he passedaway a year ago, a year and a
(42:14):
half ago.
I'm sad that well, I'm just sadfor all people that haven't
been able to process anyunhealed trauma or they're not
aware of it.
But that's what we do that dayin that workshop is we do a scan
.
We do a scan what feelings thatare producing some actions that
(42:40):
we no longer need anymore, whatsoul wounds are we covering or
building a wall around?
What spiritual wounds are webuilding walls around?
Because we don't want to take alook at it, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
If somebody is listening and they live locally,
where can they find out moreabout the conference?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Well, they can come.
Yeah, they can come.
If they're not local, they cancome too.
Right, yes, they should come.
They should sign up.
You know I'm on.
I have a Spark Our SpiritMinistries Facebook page.
I am on LinkedIn.
I have a nonprofit page onLinkedIn.
I have my own personal page onLinkedIn, or they can email me.
(43:28):
I think you have that in theshow notes and right now it's
early bird registration for $69.
Of material that doesn't onlylast for the day, but some tools
(43:49):
that they can use in theirdevotions.
When I was sitting with theLord about this nonprofit, I
thought to myself I go to somany events and I'm so pumped up
and I'm so excited to change mylife, and then, a month later,
(44:10):
it's like oh, my habits are back.
What do I do to make this longlasting?
You know, and so I.
(44:43):
You know, I told the forcoaching, for one-on-one
coaching or group coaching, Idon't really care where women
continue the journey.
I just want them to continueand experience the freedom that
Jesus wants to give them.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yes, well, I'm so with you, like we have parallel
paths, but we're doing, you know, different things.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
And really.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
It's the freedom really that he longs for us to
experience and we often needlike we need other people, we
need people Like I.
Look back on my journey andit's like there's so many little
marker moments along the waythat people came into my life to
help set me freer Right.
I say freer, freer journey, andVanessa wants to be part of
(45:33):
your journey.
So so people go to theconference and then do you also
offer like one-on-one sessions?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I do, I do, I do offer.
I have another intercessoryco-facilitator and I do work
with people one-on-one and thatis beautiful.
For me, that's an accelerationand I am working on this isn't
done yet, but I want to have amembership online membership.
(46:04):
Working on this isn't done yet,but I want to have a membership
online membership for women tojoin, and not only will they
receive teachings, but therewill be group prayer healings,
there will be testimonies, andso that will be another option
for women.
It's not available yet.
I'm going to launch that inJanuary, but if people want to
(46:27):
become a member of that, that'san option.
They can also.
You know, I'm going to start asupport group where we go
through my curriculum in Januaryand I am doing one-on-one
healings with another personright now.
And then I do want to talkabout my fundraiser.
If I can put in a plug for that, yes, absolutely, let's do it.
(46:49):
Yes.
So my very first fundraiser iscoming up November 1st in
Minneapolis, minnesota, and it'swith Vanessa Oroboina, who is a
spiritual prophetic painter outof Arizona.
I met her last year and we kindof clicked.
(47:11):
There's only one letter in ournames.
That's different.
She's a Vanessa and I'm aVanesta.
But when I started talking toher, I heard about her inner
healing journey.
But when I started talking toher, I heard about her inner
healing journey and how she hada pastor that helped her
identify the beliefs that shewas circulating, and she told me
(47:40):
about the trauma that she hadwent through and how the Lord
had healed her.
And when I talk about healing,I feel like there's spiritual
healing, with the Lord healing,but on earth we walk out that
healing.
I feel like we're nevercompletely done on our walk on
earth.
And she talked about herrewriting the story and so we
(48:00):
became friends and she's comingto Minnesota November 1st and
I'm just so excited to have herhere because she complements the
mission of Sparker SpiritMinistries and not only is she
going to paint live, but thepeople who sponsor her are going
(48:20):
to get those paintings and thenshe's bringing a gift for
everyone that comes to thatevent that night.
So, yes, that's on my socialmedia and also it's on my.
Both events are on my website,wwwsparkerspiritorg Soorg.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
So okay, yes, and I'll link everything in the show
notes for you guys that arelistening and later on, if
you're listening to this podcastin january, because this is
going to be there yes, it willalso link up the um link for her
membership.
That will be coming yes, yeahwhen that births, we will have
the birth announcement in theshow notes.
(49:04):
Yeah, it's wonderful.
I am so thrilled for you andand just the ways that you are
taking these huge steps.
They are literally sparkingrevival of the heart for many
women and I mean just your lastname you you literally are just
a spark of fresh air.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
So I knew you would come up with some wording.
Yes, it came out.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I just love your heart truly and I know that
you've walked through so muchand to the listeners who are
listening in, I would just lovefor you to share.
You know, did you have anythingelse you'd want to share before
we close up?
I want to give you thatopportunity and then I'll have
one more question for you.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Yeah, I think I want to share.
You know, as women, we're sobusy with our jobs, with our
children, you know, within thefamily unit, and I just want to
encourage people.
You know busyness is such a bigword nowadays, everybody's so
busy.
I just really want women toknow that if they take some time
(50:11):
with the Lord every day whenthey wake up instead of grabbing
the phone, but just even wakeup with three things that
they're grateful for, and find away to start the journey, the
SOS journey.
I call it strength, overcomingand soaring with the Spirit,
(50:33):
that's the journey.
You receive the strength fromthe Lord, you overcome with
Jesus and you soar with theSpirit, and I just want to
encourage people to start thatprocess.
It's so freeing, it's justbeautiful, yeah, so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Well, I was going to ask you to speak any
encouragement or wisdom overthis woman that's listening in
today, but you just did it.
So if you had any otherencouragement or wisdom to share
, you can do that.
And then I would ask if you'dbe open to praying us out as we
wrap up.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
I sure will.
Encouragement, Nobody is.
There is nothing in your lifethat there's nothing that has
happened in your life where youcan't start over and become a
new creature in Christ.
There are ways of movingforward, no matter what your
(51:31):
circumstance is, and I just wantto encourage everybody to take
that step.
And so, Heavenly Father, weinvite you into this virtual
space, Lord, and all the womenthat are out there.
Would you join with me and,Lord, would you scan their
hearts right now and give themhope that anything that has
(51:56):
occurred in their life, if it isbrought to him, he will replace
anything that has beentormenting you, any thoughts or
actions or life situationsthat's been difficult.
We invite you, Lord, to healthose things in their heart.
We invite you, Lord, for yourpresence over this virtual space
(52:21):
.
And, Heavenly Father, we askthat you bless them.
You know what's coming to mind,Kristen is.
May the Lord bless you and keepyou.
May his face shine upon you.
May the Lord lift up hiscountenance upon you and give
(52:44):
you peace.
I know that's in numbers, but Ican't remember what verse it is
, but I just want to pray aprayer of blessing over all the
women who are listening rightnow.
There is hope in the Lord andhe wants to heal your heart.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yes, yeah, amen.
Well, thank you for unlockinghope today and thank you for
being a brave voice.
Who's setting so many free?
I'm going to close with ouranchoring verse over the podcast
.
It's May the God of hope fillyou with all joy and peace in
believing so that, by the powerof the Holy Spirit, you may
(53:26):
abound in hope, and that'sRomans 15, 13.
So, thank you, vanessa.
Listeners, I'll be sure to linkup everything in the show notes
.
Be sure to check it out, and Ihope to see you at the
conference.
I'll be back with anotherepisode next week.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Bye, great Thank you, kristen.
Bye-.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
Great.
Thank you, Kristen.
Bye-bye.
Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast.
I'm your host, Kristen Kurtz,and I'm also the founder of New
Wings Coaching.
I help and empower wildheartedand adventurous women of faith
feeling caged and stuck, unlocktheir true purpose and potential
, break free from limitationsand thrive with confidence,
courage and hope.
If you're curious to learn moreabout coaching with me, head to
newwingscoachingnet and be sureto explore the show notes for
(00:38):
ways to connect with me further.
Get ready to dive in as weuncover empowering keys and
insights in this episode.
So tune in and let's unlockhope together.
Welcome to the Hope Unlockedpodcast.
I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host.
I pray this episode is like aholy IV of hope for your soul.
Please help me.
Welcome Vanessa Spark to theshow.
I am so thrilled to have herhere today.
(01:00):
I know that her story and whatshe has coming for many people,
especially locally, is going tobe amazing, and I just knew that
this was the time that hervoice needed to be released,
that she could release her soundand really share her
testimonial with you guys.
So, Vanessa, would you be opento just sharing a little bit
about yourself before we getinto your story?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Sure, yes, right now.
I started a nonprofit calledSparker Spirit Ministries
actually last November, underthe coaxing of the Holy Spirit,
to help women with inner healing.
I actually heard the Lord sayto me I need you to prepare
(01:44):
women to pull down the wallsaround their.
The women that I'm meeting, andI'm really loving the education
(02:09):
and teaching part of my job.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yes, well, I know we've talked before and I know
your heart as a teacher and thatyou're bringing your teaching
gift into everything that you do.
So when he gave you thismandate, we'll say like you said
there was a little tensionthere, right?
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yes, because I had retired from the education
world.
I have 41 years in theeducation world and I thought,
well, this is my time now toretire.
And so initially, when I firstheard that, I thought I don't
know if I really want to do that.
(02:51):
Lord, that sounds like a lot ofwork, a nonprofit, but it's
been a blessing.
It's been a blessing not onlyfor my personal growth with the
Lord, but it's been a blessingin all of the beautiful women
that I have been meeting andhearing their stories and
helping them walk through theirinner journey.
(03:14):
I call it the SOS journey.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
SOS.
I love that.
So I know one thing.
I just want to just stop herefor a second, because I know
that women mostly women listento this.
That are you know, it's multigenerational, and I'll never
forget kind of this flip thescript when I was working with a
client.
She's in her 60s and he saidthis you're not retiring, you're
(03:39):
actually going to refire.
Yes, so for those of you whoare listening and you know maybe
you're on the cusp of retiringor you've retired, what would
you say to them?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
I would say, you know , it's wonderful to follow the
Lord's coaxing, it's wonderfulto follow His assignments,
because it's a rebirthing ofyourself.
I feel like right now that I amembracing the identity that he
(04:13):
gave me many years ago when Iwas born.
I feel like I'm returning fullcircle to who he called me to be
and through life and throughthe hurts and pains of life, you
know, sometimes your path cango off in different directions,
and now he's bringing me backfull circle and it's, I would
(04:38):
say, embrace it, enjoy it.
It enlightens you when you walkand follow the Lord.
Yeah, it's wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's beautiful.
I love you know just even thefull circle word, because that's
been coming up quite a bit andI want to just, you know,
reiterate in a way like it'snever too late no God created
you to fully be, would you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
say Right, yes, it's say Right, yes, it's never too
late.
You know, I started my innerhealing journey in the middle of
my 60s and I loved it.
It rebirthed me into who he hascalled me to be the whole time,
and I have passion about itbecause it has just released a
(05:27):
lot of negative emotions, a lotof negative pains, and, with
that released, it made room forhis gifts in my life, and so
it's kind of like clearing outthe sludge in your life and then
he rebirrs you into somethingnew, something wonderful.
(05:47):
So I think the inner healingjourney is for everyone, no
matter what age.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
That you're at.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, you never want to give up, you never give up.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Yeah, give up with you on that.
So for somebody listening todaywho happens to be just kind of
wondering, I'm always, you know,coming from the perspective of
somebody who's wondering, right,like they might be wondering
what is inner healing.
You know what is inner healingand how were you led to step
into inner healing?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
You know, I think I stepped into inner healing
through pain I feel like myentire life.
There was an undercurrent ofanxiety, overwhelm, loneliness.
There was an undercurrent ofloneliness that always
surrounded my heart and I wouldtry to numb it with things.
(06:43):
The things I numbed it withwould be working.
You know, I overworked, Ioverdid everything to try to
numb those feelings ofinsecurity, pain, abandonment,
rejection, and so you know, Iwent through a two-year
depression in my late.
(07:04):
So I went through a two-yeardepression in my late 40s.
I was on Social Securitydisability, I was a teacher in
the school system and it came toa point where the depression
just kind of overtook my mindand my body and I was actually
(07:28):
flat on my back for two years.
I had to take my two boys.
I was a single parent.
One of my boys was going toschool, the other boy went to
daycare next door and I actuallylaid in bed for 14 hours a day.
I could barely get up to combmy hair.
I remember laying in my bedroomand looking out the window and
seeing the seasons change.
(07:49):
I remember seeing the fallleaves on this window outside my
bedroom and then there were noleaves and then in the spring
there was buds coming throughand I just thought it seemed
like that occurred in a coupleof days.
I was just in this darkness,this level of darkness, and so
(08:10):
it was through that journey ofthat two-year depression and an
abusive marriage that surroundedthat that I started out seeking
.
You know why did I go throughthat?
You know what happened and thatbegan my journey of inner
healing and I had a friend whohad went through some inner
(08:35):
healing and I think because ofthat friendship that's how I got
started and I learned about thebelief cycle, I learned about
mindset, I learned about soulwounds and heart wounds and I
learned about generationalpatterns and how they affect
(08:56):
your mind.
And so that's what inner healingis about.
It's identifying the thoughtsthat you circulate, the ungodly
beliefs that you circulate.
It's identifying anygenerational patterns that
produce those thoughts that youcirculate.
(09:17):
It's identifying any soul orspirit wounds that are unhealed
in your heart and it's takingall of that to Jesus in exchange
for a gift that he wants togive you.
That kind of summarizes theprocess of the inner healing
(09:38):
walk, and everybody's time frameis different.
Some people move through thatquickly.
Some people move it takes years.
Some people start it, take timeoff, go back to it, but it
really is a freeing processbecause Jesus wants our whole
(09:59):
hearts, not part of them.
He wants our heart to be healed.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
Yeah, not part of them.
He wants our heart to be healed.
Yeah, yeah, and I love that.
You really, you know,reiterated just even the time
process, because I think, um,you know, including myself at
times like it's it's such ajourney, like there's, yeah,
years that you know I was intrauma, that it's like it can
take time to rewire the thoughtprocess and he can do it.
He can do it like that, right,I'm sure you've seen, yes, areas
(10:31):
of your life that have maybebeen like that.
Um, could you share, like, letme, a little bit more of of that
in the timing you know, haveyou experienced that very quick
deliverance in essence orsomething, something that's
maybe taken, you know, longer toyou know unwire per se?
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Yeah, you know I had because of.
I grew up in a family whereboth parents were home, but you
know it was a Norwegian family,so that the generational thought
or the culture was you didn'ttalk about feelings, you stuffed
them, you didn't.
You know, I felt like Icouldn't talk about how I felt
(11:14):
about certain things and I was ahighly sensitive.
Well, I am a highly sensitiveperson, so I felt things very
deeply and I really could senseif somebody said their tone of
voice and in what they would say, teachers or friends, their
(11:35):
tone of voice could be in such away that I would be what's the
word?
Demolished by what I would hear, my heart, demolished by what I
would hear my heart.
You know, I would just fall tothe ground when I would hear
certain things that were saidabout me.
You're such a sensitive child.
I was bullied in school forcrying all the time, and so what
(11:57):
I learned to do was to build upwalls around my heart, and
those are what I call my traumaresponses.
My trauma response wasperfectionism, it was people
pleasing, it was performance,and so those walls became a
(12:18):
fortress and I survived quitewell behind those walls.
I and notice the key wordsurvived.
I survived quite well behindthose walls.
I and notice the key wordsurvived I survived behind those
walls.
And so, you know, I did well asa teacher, I did well as an
executive director of a school,I did well growing up with my
(12:41):
grades and so on and so forth,but I lived behind those walls
and I didn't allow anybody tocome in.
You know, to that, to my heart,that's how I survived.
But then in, you know, throughhardships, through the
depression, the two-yeardepression, those walls started
(13:03):
to crumble, the two-yeardepression, those walls started
to crumble.
And then being a perfectionisttakes a lot of energy, it takes
a lot of work to maintain thosewalls.
And so when I got into my 60s,you know, I started to
understand that those walls wereshaking and starting to come
down, and the Lord wanted me tolook behind those walls and to
(13:27):
find out what were the woundsthat I was protecting.
And so, for me, my innerhealing journey and we're always
on the journey, you know, hasbeen relatively short.
It has been the past five years.
Some people take longer, somepeople are healed in a moment,
(13:52):
you know.
And so for me, it has been abeautiful journey of taking a
look at where did those woundsstart, and then using Emmanuel
prayer, which I call hearthealing, to give those wounds to
Jesus and it's kind of likeliquid gold, where he fills the
(14:13):
crack with his love, his liquidlove, and it just makes your
heart and your life pumpstronger.
So I'm not even sure if Ianswered your question.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Yeah.
It's reminding me of you'veprobably heard of, like the
Kintsugi yes.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
A woman gave me a picture of a bowl like that.
So you know, the cracks filledwith gold makes the bowl even
stronger.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yes, it makes it stronger and more valuable.
Yes, because it's mended withgold.
Yes, isn't that incredible?
Yeah, so I look at you, knowjust your journey and how far
you've come and I, you know, Ihaven't even known you that long
.
I feel like I've known youforever and I just love your
heart and the ways that you, um,are now taking your experience
(15:04):
right yes.
Yes, your healing, and now youhave turned around.
You've literally turned aroundand you are now like hey, this
can be for you too.
So what does that look like foryou, in your turning around, to
say, hey, I want to help you too, like what does that look like
(15:26):
for you to come alongsidesomebody?
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, you know, it's in the story, it's in, it's in
everybody's story, the pain inthe story.
When you, when you examine thatpain with Jesus, that pain with
Jesus, when you examine thepain with Jesus, which makes it
(15:51):
safe, when you examine that pain, there is a gift in there.
There is a gift.
There's not only knowledge, butthere is a surrendering of that
pain to him.
And you know, I think I want totell you a story right now, if
(16:15):
that's okay with you, about oneof my heart stories.
And this is what I do withclients, with women who come to
my events with the curriculumthat I take them through, that I
take them through.
It's like identifying thoseparts in their story that is
unhealed, that makes you knowthey might be stuck in emotion,
(16:39):
they might be stuck in anger,they might be stuck in overwhelm
, they might be stuck inloneliness or isolation, or they
could be stuck in overworkingor even busyness, so that
they're living a life of justtotally being unaware of what
God has called them to do.
But you know, so I like to walkalongside them, hear their
(17:00):
story.
It's kind of like identifyingthe walls that they built up
around their heart, theirwounded heart, and then working
with Jesus to pull those wallsdown so that he can come in and
heal and he can go through walls.
Jesus can go through walls.
(17:22):
I mean, it's not that they haveto come down, but we ourselves,
we maintain those walls, we'refocused on those walls.
Even unconsciously, we'refocused on keeping those walls
up.
And I think you know there'ssome steps that we have to take
(17:45):
to prepare the heart for Jesusto come in and heal.
And so I don't know if you wantme to share one of my
situations that are one of myheart stories.
Yes, please, yeah.
So this is, you know, thisheart story.
I've had, you know, numerous,numerous heart healings.
(18:11):
I'm going to call them, whichis, and the method that that we
use is Emmanuel prayer, and it'sthe one that worked for me, and
there's other ways of healingprayers.
But in the situation that I wasin about five years ago, I could
(18:32):
not figure out why I alwaysfelt lonely, even in a crowd, I
could be lonely in a crowd, Icould be lonely at work.
I just had this feeling and Iasked the Lord where does that
loneliness come from?
Where does that angst come from?
(18:54):
And he led me through a journeywith a mentor of mine and the
journey started out with.
I was walking with Jesus infront of the Catalina Mountains
in Arizona and he was walkingnext to me and what was what Go
(19:15):
ahead?
I was just saying, yeah, it'samazing.
And it was just a beautifulmemory.
And in walking alongside him, Ifelt his presence.
And what happened in this memory?
You know?
He, he held my hand, he told mehe would always be with me.
I didn't need to be afraid, Ididn't need to feel shame, and
(19:39):
then he led me into this scene.
That was from my marriage andthe scene in my marriage was I
was lying on the floor with myhands out to the side like a
goalpost and my ex-husband hadpushed me on the floor and he
(20:00):
had brought a chair down and itcame down two inches from my
nose and he said I just wantedto see you flinch.
And then my mentor said do yousee Jesus around you?
He was walking with you and heled you into the scene.
(20:21):
And I actually got mad when sheasked me that question.
I said no, I don't see Jesus.
And if he would have been there, why didn't he stop the chair?
You know, why didn't he stopthe whole situation and she said
look again, do you see Jesusaround you?
And then I did.
(20:41):
I did see him.
He was standing behind myex-husband and he had stopped
the chair.
And the next thing that happenedin this scene was that my
ex-husband put down the chairand he spit in my face.
(21:01):
And he spit three times.
And I remember laying there andI stopped crying because I felt
relief.
It was in that moment that Iknew I was going to, that I was
being released from the marriagebecause there had been so, so
(21:21):
much abuse previous to this.
And my mother always said wedon't get divorced in this
family.
And so I remember feelingrelief because I just knew in my
heart that this abusivemarriage would be over.
And after the spitting, I sawJesus take out this sword.
(21:45):
Because when the spittingoccurred I felt like a dagger
went into my heart and Jesustook out the heart or took out
the sword and he said look atthis, this two-edged sword.
These are all the vile, hurtfulnames that he has called you in
(22:06):
the last 12 years of yourmarriage.
And he goes I am removing thosefrom your heart.
And he said I was spat upon too.
I know how you feel.
I know about the shame, I knowabout the fear of people finding
(22:26):
out, I know about thedegradation that you felt.
And when he took that out hesaid now look at your heart, it
is beating again, it is vibrant,it's pink.
I am removing all of thosestrongholds of fear and shame
(22:48):
from your heart.
And afterwards he said yourex-husband was my son too.
And he said he had unhealedtrauma and the alcohol released
that trauma and released thatspirit, that negative spirit
(23:12):
that was in him.
And you know, after that day,that loneliness, that
undercurrent of loneliness, theanxiety, the fear of even
telling this story to otherpeople was gone.
And it was such a blessing.
(23:33):
You know, I brought back thatmemory.
Jesus healed that part in myheart and he said go out now and
speak about the goodness ofspiritual heart healing, tell
people how I want to make theirhearts whole.
And so that was the one of themost impactful healing stories,
(23:58):
or heart healing stories that Itell in my conferences.
You know I had forgiven.
I had, up until that point, Ihad been divorced from my
ex-husband for 30 years.
Oh, wow, it was 30 years, huh,30 years.
And I had always, you know, asa Christian, I forgave him.
(24:18):
But when I would see him at myson's house, I had this kind of
sickness inside my stomach.
I had a physical like reactioninside my stomach.
I had a physical reaction.
I always thought to myself whydo I have this reaction when
(24:41):
I've forgiven him?
Why and I later learned that Ihad forgiven him with my head
but not with my heart there wasstill some unhealed trauma that
was locked within me and throughthis heart healing, that was
released and I have a totallydifferent feeling about him now.
(25:01):
I had feelings of hatred before,but now I have feelings when I
look at my marriage up untilthat point, you know, he was a
good man, he was a greatprovider, he was funny, he was a
great dad.
It was the alcohol thatreleased something in him that
(25:23):
gave him a false sense of power.
So I tell you this storybecause we, you know, as women,
we have lots of unhealed traumastories or neglect or abuse, or
even somebody can be bullied,and that becomes a point, you
(25:45):
know, that is locked up in theirmind or in their heart.
And when we bring thosesituations to Jesus, he releases
those and replaces the storywith something positive and it
really does change your life.
It really, you know, the peacethat passes all understanding
(26:07):
when we talk about that in theBible.
I feel that peace.
I felt the peace that day.
That portion, that traumaexperience brought me forward.
You know, I feel like thehealing that Jesus provides
moves you forward.
(26:29):
It affects your decisions andyour relationships.
So I know I kind of went allthe way around.
How do you do that?
Well, you know, with women whenthey come to our events, you
know the event and I want toread that too on this podcast.
When they come to my events,it's kind of like scanning your
(27:02):
body, for are there any issuesthat are causing some feelings
that are stuck, that are makingyou stuck in life or making you
wonder is this all there is inlife?
Is this?
You know what's my purpose?
And I feel like you know,coming to the events or entering
into one-on-one prayer healingreally changes your life.
(27:24):
It really empowers you to moveforward and it's just a
wonderful thing.
It's my motivation.
My own healing journey is mymotivation in helping others on
their journey.
But only Jesus can heal.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
I'm just walking alongside and you know, as you
were talking, I was evenreminded of like it's almost
like you go to your event for anechocardiogram and even come
inside with you.
We were talking about earlier.
Like people call me a spiritualmidwife, so I get to have like
an ultrasound to see the baby,but you have like an ultrasound
(28:03):
for the heart.
Yes, holy Spirit.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yes, and that that's a good segue.
Last January, so you know,about seven months ago, I asked
the Lord what is the spiritualmessage that you have for me
this year in these events thatI'm holding?
I held one in Arizona and I'mholding one in Minnesota now
(28:30):
coming up on November 15th, andI'd like you to read what I
journaled that day, because it'sso wonderful when you start
writing and your pen continueson and your thoughts can't even
keep up with the pen.
It's the best, isn't it?
Yeah, it's the best.
And so this is what he said inmy journal.
(28:52):
He said I am the Lord who healsyou.
I will heal you from the insideout.
I will awaken your heart, mendwhat is broken and stitch up
your wounds.
I am the great physician.
But you must come to myhospital, you must open the door
(29:16):
, you must prepare to meet me.
Before healing begins.
We must examine the heart.
Just as a doctor takes x-raysand MRIs to see where to start,
so must we allow the Holy Spiritto reveal what lies beneath the
(29:37):
surface.
Are there blockages,unforgiveness, fear or pain that
are restricting the flow of mylife in you?
Are restricting the flow of mylife in you?
What habits, thoughts orpatterns are feeding the
condition of your heart.
(29:57):
Your choices, your daily habits, even your generational DNA.
These things shape yourspiritual health.
Is there sludge, lies,bitterness, shame moving through
your veins?
My healing power is ready, butI am asking you to prepare the
(30:22):
way.
Today we will identify thetoxins and cleanse the heart,
making room for mytransformation.
Come, lay it all before me andI will make you whole.
Oh my god, that was sowonderful to receive that.
(30:43):
And when did you receive this?
About seven months ago, when Iasked him what was the spiritual
message for these events, andwhat I took from that is the
event is the scanning.
It's the scanning of the heart.
What is in there?
You know, and you know we do agroup Emmanuel prayer healing at
(31:08):
the end.
But again, everything is inaccordance to his timing and you
know, the journey for somecontinues on after that and my
journey took a while and it'sstill.
You know, I'm still I still,since fear has been a big part
(31:31):
of my life.
I still have fragments thatcome up every now and then that
I have to work through, and I'velearned how to do the Emmanuel
prayer healing on myself, whichis wonderful to do with the Lord
, it's always with the Lord.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yes, and what I was going to ask too, you know as
you.
You know, if you have asituation that comes up like
what you know, if somebody islistening, they're like well,
what does she do?
Like when you have thosemoments like what do you do
tactically to move through thefear?
Speaker 2 (32:08):
do you do tactically to move through the fear?
Yeah well, I make time to soak,soaking, I rest, I play music
and it's really key to ask theLord for forgiveness, to ask Him
for a word.
I read the Bible, I soak andthen I come to him.
With Lord, what do you want toreveal to me right now?
(32:29):
What is the word that you havefor me?
Why do I feel this anxiety instarting this nonprofit?
Why do I feel this anxietyabout bringing this spiritual
painter to Minnesota?
What is behind this fear?
(32:50):
And he usually gives me a visionand then sometimes, if I feel
like I'm not hearing anything,then I will get on board with my
mentor and share with her, withmy mentor and share with her.
And where two or more aregathered, there is he.
And I will gain some moreclarity around why I am feeling
(33:11):
this anxiousness.
And you know it's a beautifuljourney.
It's the intimacy that developsin inner healing.
It's the intimacy that you havewith Holy Spirit, with Jesus,
with God the Father, that isexemplified when you go through
(33:35):
this healing.
The relationship becomes allthe more encompassing.
I'll never forget when I was inmy 30s I always thought, oh, an
intimate relationship with God.
Nah, that's not for me.
I thought I'm not going to haveany fun if that happens.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
Well, and speaking of fun, I mean how fun has your
life been since you've gottenmore healed?
Speaker 2 (34:09):
like life been since.
You've gotten more healed.
Oh my gosh, everything changes,um, the decisions that I make,
um.
But here, here is the greatthing, that loneliness that I
talked about as an undercurrent,it's gone.
It's totally gone.
Um the rejection in another.
You know, I had another hearthealing and I always overpleased
with my relationships with menand I found out where the root
(34:33):
of that came.
It came back to a childhoodmemory with my dad and I felt
the abandonment.
And when I took that route,that abandonment to Jesus, you
know, I no longer feel like Ihave to please people so that
(34:53):
I'm not rejected anymore and itjust.
You know, all my relationshipshave changed.
I don't have to people please.
I don't have to perform to havevalue.
I'm valuable, being the belovedchild of God, and I don't have
(35:16):
to do anything.
I want to obey God.
I want to help women andhopefully men later on in my
nonprofit, because they have thesame pains as we do.
(35:36):
And so, yeah, that's whatreally has inspired me to
continue on, because it haschanged my life.
It doesn't mean that we don'thave challenging circumstances.
It's the way.
It's the partnership with theLord, it's the following of his
guidance, but you know what itreally is.
(35:58):
Kristen, I hear his voice more.
Now.
Hear him, you know, I see himand I used to think that people
when I was younger, in my 30sand 40s, I used to think people
who see God, oh, come on, youknow.
People who hear the voice ofGod, oh, really, it's one of
(36:21):
those, you know.
But through this inner healingjourney, my the, the voice that
I hear from Holy Spirit, hasjust been a wonderful guidance
and comfort, um, through thetough times.
Yeah, we need we need them.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
I can't even imagine my life without them.
And it's a growth process.
You know that really is youknow, hearing that word for me
intimacy similar to you I waslike huh, yeah, no thanks.
But now it's like I can't livewithout them, you know it really
is you need to share, like yourupcoming conference here coming
(37:03):
up in Minnesota.
Tell us a little bit more aboutthat and I know you alluded to
what women will experience whenthey walk in.
But if you could just kind oftake us on a little journey of
where did this idea come from?
I have a feeling, I know, butcould you just kind of take us
on that journey of you weregiven an idea.
(37:24):
Were you excited about it?
Was there some tension bringingit to life?
Tell us about birthing thisconference.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
Well, the conference came about from my own
experience In 2022,.
I was in a corporate soakingsession with a bunch of women
(37:56):
where you have a teaching andyou play music and you invite
the Holy Spirit in, and that wasthe first time that I had
gotten a vision of Jesus andthat was the first time that I
actually heard a voice.
I had always had a knowingnessof the Holy Spirit, but to hear
a voice where he said to mespeak my beauty to the world,
(38:16):
and I thought I love to traveland I thought, oh Lord, you, you
want me to talk about you tothe world, you want me to travel
, sounds so fun.
And I didn't hear anything.
So I started to research mybeauty Speak my beauty.
What is this?
Is it nature?
Is it kindness, the fruits ofthe spirit?
(38:39):
What is your beauty?
And then I started these hearthealing sessions, these Emmanuel
prayer sessions, and I startedgoing through these heart
healings, one a month, and atthe end of eight months, in
another soaking session, I heardhim say my beauty is the
healing of the spiritual heart.
(39:01):
I want to heal the spiritualhearts of my people and I want
you to prepare the way, and so Istarted writing curriculum then
, and I wrote curriculum, youknow, after I'd went through
training on inner healing and Iwent through some training on
(39:25):
using the Emmanuel prayer methodand so I heard speak my beauty
to the world and opening up thedoors to his healing.
And I know you use the wordkeys.
So there are some keys tounlock shame and fear and
control and abandonment andrejection.
(39:46):
There's some keys in unlockingthat and opening up the doors
and getting to the root of wherethese feelings came about.
So, you know, I started thenonprofit, I had a successful
event in Arizona and so, comingup at this conference, this
(40:08):
Women's Conference November 15th, we are going to open some of
those doors through knowledge,and so we're going to take a
look at the beliefs that we hold, which feeds our thoughts and
feeds our words and our emotionsand our actions.
(40:29):
So if we're doing some actionsor have some behaviors that we
don't like, or if we're havingsome feelings that are keeping
us stuck, overwhelmedanxiousness, then we need to go
back to the belief.
What belief are we operatingunder?
And some of those beliefs wecan discard.
(40:52):
We don't need them anymore.
Some of them are taught to usthrough the generations and so
it's identifying what I callungodly beliefs.
We will do that that day andthen we will take those ungodly
beliefs to the Lord and ask himto replace them with something
(41:13):
from him.
We also that day take a look atgenerational patterns that are
passed down.
We take a look at some traumaoccurrences that form some of
those beliefs.
So it's the unhealed traumathat can produce some of the
(41:33):
feelings and actions that wehave that we no longer need
anymore.
And then at the very end of theconference, we also go move
through forgiveness and learnabout forgiveness that it's a
decision and it's not a feeling,and that the feelings can come
(41:54):
later on.
My feeling about my ex-husbandis completely different right
now.
I look at him completelydifferent than I did before the
heart healing.
I'm sad for him at times thathe doesn't get to see his
grandchildren because he passedaway a year ago, a year and a
(42:14):
half ago.
I'm sad that well, I'm just sadfor all people that haven't
been able to process anyunhealed trauma or they're not
aware of it.
But that's what we do that dayin that workshop is we do a scan
.
We do a scan what feelings thatare producing some actions that
(42:40):
we no longer need anymore, whatsoul wounds are we covering or
building a wall around?
What spiritual wounds are webuilding walls around?
Because we don't want to take alook at it, so yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
If somebody is listening and they live locally,
where can they find out moreabout the conference?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Well, they can come.
Yeah, they can come.
If they're not local, they cancome too.
Right, yes, they should come.
They should sign up.
You know I'm on.
I have a Spark Our SpiritMinistries Facebook page.
I am on LinkedIn.
I have a nonprofit page onLinkedIn.
I have my own personal page onLinkedIn, or they can email me.
(43:28):
I think you have that in theshow notes and right now it's
early bird registration for $69.
Of material that doesn't onlylast for the day, but some tools
(43:49):
that they can use in theirdevotions.
When I was sitting with theLord about this nonprofit, I
thought to myself I go to somany events and I'm so pumped up
and I'm so excited to change mylife, and then, a month later,
(44:10):
it's like oh, my habits are back.
What do I do to make this longlasting?
You know, and so I.
(44:43):
You know, I told the forcoaching, for one-on-one
coaching or group coaching, Idon't really care where women
continue the journey.
I just want them to continueand experience the freedom that
Jesus wants to give them.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yes, well, I'm so with you, like we have parallel
paths, but we're doing, you know, different things.
Speaker 2 (45:07):
And really.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
It's the freedom really that he longs for us to
experience and we often needlike we need other people, we
need people Like I.
Look back on my journey andit's like there's so many little
marker moments along the waythat people came into my life to
help set me freer Right.
I say freer, freer journey, andVanessa wants to be part of
(45:33):
your journey.
So so people go to theconference and then do you also
offer like one-on-one sessions?
Speaker 2 (45:42):
I do, I do, I do offer.
I have another intercessoryco-facilitator and I do work
with people one-on-one and thatis beautiful.
For me, that's an accelerationand I am working on this isn't
done yet, but I want to have amembership online membership.
(46:04):
Working on this isn't done yet,but I want to have a membership
online membership for women tojoin, and not only will they
receive teachings, but therewill be group prayer healings,
there will be testimonies, andso that will be another option
for women.
It's not available yet.
I'm going to launch that inJanuary, but if people want to
(46:27):
become a member of that, that'san option.
They can also.
You know, I'm going to start asupport group where we go
through my curriculum in Januaryand I am doing one-on-one
healings with another personright now.
And then I do want to talkabout my fundraiser.
If I can put in a plug for that, yes, absolutely, let's do it.
(46:49):
Yes.
So my very first fundraiser iscoming up November 1st in
Minneapolis, minnesota, and it'swith Vanessa Oroboina, who is a
spiritual prophetic painter outof Arizona.
I met her last year and we kindof clicked.
(47:11):
There's only one letter in ournames.
That's different.
She's a Vanessa and I'm aVanesta.
But when I started talking toher, I heard about her inner
healing journey.
But when I started talking toher, I heard about her inner
healing journey and how she hada pastor that helped her
identify the beliefs that shewas circulating, and she told me
(47:40):
about the trauma that she hadwent through and how the Lord
had healed her.
And when I talk about healing,I feel like there's spiritual
healing, with the Lord healing,but on earth we walk out that
healing.
I feel like we're nevercompletely done on our walk on
earth.
And she talked about herrewriting the story and so we
(48:00):
became friends and she's comingto Minnesota November 1st and
I'm just so excited to have herhere because she complements the
mission of Sparker SpiritMinistries and not only is she
going to paint live, but thepeople who sponsor her are going
(48:20):
to get those paintings and thenshe's bringing a gift for
everyone that comes to thatevent that night.
So, yes, that's on my socialmedia and also it's on my.
Both events are on my website,wwwsparkerspiritorg Soorg.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
So okay, yes, and I'll link everything in the show
notes for you guys that arelistening and later on, if
you're listening to this podcastin january, because this is
going to be there yes, it willalso link up the um link for her
membership.
That will be coming yes, yeahwhen that births, we will have
the birth announcement in theshow notes.
(49:04):
Yeah, it's wonderful.
I am so thrilled for you andand just the ways that you are
taking these huge steps.
They are literally sparkingrevival of the heart for many
women and I mean just your lastname you you literally are just
a spark of fresh air.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
So I knew you would come up with some wording.
Yes, it came out.
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I just love your heart truly and I know that
you've walked through so muchand to the listeners who are
listening in, I would just lovefor you to share.
You know, did you have anythingelse you'd want to share before
we close up?
I want to give you thatopportunity and then I'll have
one more question for you.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Yeah, I think I want to share.
You know, as women, we're sobusy with our jobs, with our
children, you know, within thefamily unit, and I just want to
encourage people.
You know busyness is such a bigword nowadays, everybody's so
busy.
I just really want women toknow that if they take some time
(50:11):
with the Lord every day whenthey wake up instead of grabbing
the phone, but just even wakeup with three things that
they're grateful for, and find away to start the journey, the
SOS journey.
I call it strength, overcomingand soaring with the Spirit,
(50:33):
that's the journey.
You receive the strength fromthe Lord, you overcome with
Jesus and you soar with theSpirit, and I just want to
encourage people to start thatprocess.
It's so freeing, it's justbeautiful, yeah, so beautiful.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Well, I was going to ask you to speak any
encouragement or wisdom overthis woman that's listening in
today, but you just did it.
So if you had any otherencouragement or wisdom to share
, you can do that.
And then I would ask if you'dbe open to praying us out as we
wrap up.
Speaker 2 (51:08):
I sure will.
Encouragement, Nobody is.
There is nothing in your lifethat there's nothing that has
happened in your life where youcan't start over and become a
new creature in Christ.
There are ways of movingforward, no matter what your
(51:31):
circumstance is, and I just wantto encourage everybody to take
that step.
And so, Heavenly Father, weinvite you into this virtual
space, Lord, and all the womenthat are out there.
Would you join with me and,Lord, would you scan their
hearts right now and give themhope that anything that has
(51:56):
occurred in their life, if it isbrought to him, he will replace
anything that has beentormenting you, any thoughts or
actions or life situationsthat's been difficult.
We invite you, Lord, to healthose things in their heart.
We invite you, Lord, for yourpresence over this virtual space
(52:21):
.
And, Heavenly Father, we askthat you bless them.
You know what's coming to mind,Kristen is.
May the Lord bless you and keepyou.
May his face shine upon you.
May the Lord lift up hiscountenance upon you and give
(52:44):
you peace.
I know that's in numbers, but Ican't remember what verse it is
, but I just want to pray aprayer of blessing over all the
women who are listening rightnow.
There is hope in the Lord andhe wants to heal your heart.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
Yes, yeah, amen.
Well, thank you for unlockinghope today and thank you for
being a brave voice.
Who's setting so many free?
I'm going to close with ouranchoring verse over the podcast
.
It's May the God of hope fillyou with all joy and peace in
believing so that, by the powerof the Holy Spirit, you may
(53:26):
abound in hope, and that'sRomans 15, 13.
So, thank you, vanessa.
Listeners, I'll be sure to linkup everything in the show notes
.
Be sure to check it out, and Ihope to see you at the
conference.
I'll be back with anotherepisode next week.
Speaker 2 (53:40):
Bye, great Thank you, kristen.
Bye-.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
Great.
Thank you, Kristen.
Bye-bye.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.