October 13, 2023 • 21 mins
In this episode of the Love Your Vibe Show, Elvira and Eleanor speak with Miracle Mindset Mentor Jennifer Hawkins about the role of the body in healing from trauma and feeling safe.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome, welcome to the Love Your Vibe show. We are here on Skyward TV and
(00:12):
Hopeful Radio and my name is Alvira Hopper and I am your host along with Eleanor Hayward and
Jennifer Hawkins today is our guest. So just gonna give you a quick rundown of this show. This show
is all about you. It's about helping you to do your inner work of healing and growth. We've all
been hurt on this planet because of COVID. There's a lot of people struggling with mental health and
(00:35):
our take on improving our mental health is through personal development. So this is a spiritual path
to taking care of yourself at the highest level and it is not to put down Western medicine but
there's a lot of other modalities out there that we really care about and we are very, very big
believers in the Miracle Magnet Movement which states that all modalities matter. It's not just
(00:59):
Western medicine, it's all the pieces. There's so many amazing things on the planet and we're gonna
bring you as many as we can and today we'll be speaking with our beautiful guest Jennifer Hawkins
who is the co-developer of the Love Your Vibe Transformation Personal Development Solution for
Heart Centered Humans along with Eleanor Hayward. The two of them came together when COVID hit and
(01:21):
they created a beautiful six-month program that virtually every graduate wishes to facilitate as
well. So our team is growing on the planet because the more we can get this work out into the right
hearts and minds and souls, the more we can raise the vibration of humanity and we believe that when
that happens we can have heaven on earth. So that's what we believe in, right ladies? Yay! Awesome!
(01:47):
So let's get started. We're gonna ask Jennifer some questions about her journey because your
modality Jennifer, you did a lot of personal development and the miracle mindset definitely
helped you to go from Crap Magnet to Miracle Magnet where you started attracting better things
and then you found that there was more healing that needed to be done which was not part of
(02:11):
the Love Your Vibe Transformation. You needed more, right? So tell us a little bit about the
more that you discovered and what it did for you. The more? Well I think and it became a buzzword
I think for a while through COVID is trauma and I knew I had experienced trauma as a young teenager
(02:37):
in the form of being raped and that was I cognitively knew that but what I didn't recognize is the
effects of trauma on the body and how the nervous system is affected because of the trauma that I
experienced as a child and from a young childhood I mean trauma comes in a lot of different forms.
It's too much, too fast, too soon of anything. Too much, too fast, too soon. Keep that in mind.
(03:05):
And that's really important because it could even be a good thing if it's too much, too fast,
too soon that causes the body to become dysregulated. The nervous system becomes dysregulated.
So as I was on my journey of doing the mindset work I found myself getting really triggered or
activated by again the too much, too fast, too soon and the mind trying to overwrite a belief
(03:30):
that was in my body. So the nervous system responds with memory and it's not necessarily
in the mind but the body retains these memories. In the unconscious. In the unconscious. Right,
right. The body is the unconscious, right? The body is the unconscious. The trigger is the
unconscious mind reaching for help. It's speaking to us. I got chills over. Yeah, that's amazing.
(03:51):
It's speaking to us and I spent the majority of my life in my head. When I look back I'm like I was
like this big floating head. The over thinker. Oh yeah. Right? And we all have different links.
Which is a coping mechanism to trauma. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I went into deep alcohol addiction,
(04:12):
over sexed, anything that would take me away from feeling what I was feeling because it didn't make
sense. I had no one to talk to. We moved around a lot as a child. My father was in the military.
So I never had a safe place. There's never a safe place and you think your parents would be that
safe place but that isn't always the case because our parents are also traumatized and we're shown
(04:35):
how to parent by their parents. So they never mean ill but they just don't have the capacity
to create those really secure bonds as children and that's what creates our coping mechanisms
and how we show up in relationships, codependency, you know all of these pieces. Juicy stuff.
So for me finding a somatic healer and doing this therapy called felt sense which was
(05:01):
Eugene Gendlin. Okay. And it's a beautiful. Sorry we're outside on my back and there's a lot of
mischief. This is not perfect. Okay. It's allowing the body to express and the body actually has a
(05:21):
different language. Our mind wants to automatically come up with the answer, right? The mind wants to
figure this out. What is it? Fast, quick, get it over and done with and the body speaks very,
very slowly. So as I began healing that disconnection and listening to the props of the body,
it just opened up this whole other level of healing that I would never have been aware of.
(05:46):
I just was not, for me it had to be logical. It was going to be logical. Give me the magic pill
and I'll be fixed. Yeah. Can anyone relate to that? Yeah. Right. And it was great. I'm like,
why am I not better? Because what you said, something you had said was that like your brain
can hear one thing but your body says something else. So for example, part of the culture that
(06:09):
we create with the Love Your Vibe Transformation is that everybody is safe, seen, celebrated,
and supported. And in your head, you can be in a safe space but your body is still saying,
I don't feel safe. So tell us more about that because safety is big for you. Safety is big
because I never felt safe. So it's interesting that even in a safe space with close friends,
(06:31):
my body has a memory of different stories, different events, and I don't necessarily
remember them cognitively, but the body's saying this isn't safe. As soon as questions get asked,
I react. Because in my past, people asking questions were building ammunition against
them. Wow. And so this had happened, but it replayed over and over and over. So the fact that I've now
(06:57):
reconnected to that part, when I'm in a situation, I have more awareness that I can hold myself and
build capacity to be in that discomfort. What does it mean to hold yourself? It's seeing the
activation and not suppressing it. Or is it seeing or feeling it? You're holding it in your body.
Okay. So the body's holding it. Here it is, the emotion's coming up. I don't know what it is.
(07:21):
It's butterflies in my stomach. It's my hands tingling. It's any number of things. And I can
sit with it instead of being like, you know, running off to something else, going to grab a bottle of wine
or, you know, just ignoring it. Okay. So holding yourself is feeling the feelings. Is that right,
Jennifer? Yeah. And being in the discomfort of it. And that takes titration. They call it titration,
(07:46):
where you eat a little bit at a time. Because trauma doesn't, you don't have to have a memory
to hold yourself in trauma in a somatic healing. You don't need to have a memory. It's just holding
space in the body for what's here. What's here now. I love you. I'm listening. I love you. I'm
(08:08):
listening. And allow the body to start communicating. That comes in. And all of a sudden your knees will
start to tingle. Oh, wow. And it'll travel up to your head. My body's tingling now, just talking about it.
So the body communicates and this is what it's designed to do. You're designed to be able to
heal ourselves. But because we've suppressed and bypassed those emotional responses that we were
(08:30):
never able to complete. So the fight and the flight, in most cases as children, we couldn't have ran
away and we couldn't have fought. So we bury it. So that's held, that's from infancy.
But it's stored in the body and it gets brought out again to protect us. So it's not, again,
(08:51):
not shaming that part because it was designed to protect us. And thank God our nervous systems
are designed the way they are because they got us to where we are today. But to become aware of how
the body speaks to you, it's very slow. It's very languid. And it's scared because it hasn't been
heard for 30 or 40 years. It hasn't been witnessed. It hasn't been allowed to share what it's going
(09:15):
through. And I don't have all the language in all the bits. I actually been getting a study
in integrative somatic trauma therapy the end of next month, last year, September 1st.
And I'm really excited to delve into this more because what I found, I just recently finished
(09:36):
mentoring with the Love Your Vibe, a six month program at a local woman's shelter.
And it was just so beautiful. And if I could just share, one of the ladies said that, you know,
they have a lot of people coming in to provide facilitation and different modalities. I'm not
sure exactly, different programs. And what she'd said was that people come in and they talk at them.
(09:58):
And these women are highly traumatized. They're highly traumatized. So all of a sudden,
this person's coming in. Physical, verbal, and also this person can say, no, that's not right.
Do it this way. That is going to actually re-traumatize them. So what this woman communicated
with means that how I held space, and that's because of my trauma awareness, that I was able
(10:19):
to just listen and not make them wrong, not correct them, just they were safe, seeing, celebrated,
and supported. And that for them was the transformation that they needed to be able to see themselves.
Wow. Yeah. And they walked through the other side after six months. So that, it just really anchored
for me how important the somatic work is, where it really, I was like, I need to learn more about
(10:42):
this so I can take, because the somatic practice doesn't take, it doesn't take long. It can be
really, really quick. You can shift it quickly. But to have those tools that I can share those,
so that would be like my little magic in our six month program. That little magic that I can say,
here's it here, hold this. Magic and modality is the same thing. We talk about all modalities matter,
(11:05):
and people can serve with their story, their message, and their magic. And each of these ladies
has amazing stories. I have my story, and our message is, you know, you don't have to be here,
you can be over here, and your magic or modality is how did you get there, right? So thank you. I
just wanted to explain that. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so it's been really wonderful. And
(11:28):
I want to remind people, like, you know, starting this journey, it's an ebb and the flow. You know,
you'll go through times where you're like, oh yeah, I see the growth, I see the healing, I see it,
and then all of a sudden it feels like it's declining. But what we forget is that we need
that integration time. We need that time where this new thing that I've learned, this thing that
(11:48):
I've healed needs time to now be incorporated into ourselves. And then you'll find maybe a time
where it's just like this plateau, where there's just, it's not up or down. It's just kind of like
I'm just coasting along. And I, you know, I've been there, what's wrong with me? Why is this not, why
am I not better? Why am I not moving forward? And it's the time where that integration piece
(12:10):
is really, really important. And it's having that compassion and patience with yourself,
that it's all part of the journey. You didn't get to where you were in one year. I mean, it
took me 35 years, 40 years to get here. So do you, do I actually think that it's going to be, I'm
going to, I'm going to heal this in six months? No, no, no, no. There's layers. It takes what it
(12:31):
takes. It takes what it takes. So that is one thing for me in the lesson of healing
was that there's no timeline. There's ebbs and flows, highs and lows,
breakdowns and breakthroughs. And as long as there's a movement and you don't give up on yourself,
(12:51):
you're going to have low, slow days and just holding and the capacity is like holding yourself
in that I'm not bad and wrong. There's nothing wrong with me. This is just what it is right now.
Right. And not letting the monkey mind saying, Oh, you're not good enough. You're not capable.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so beautiful. And I love the idea that, you know, people don't
(13:14):
necessarily have to go to meds to numb out because they're so uncomfortable. They can do this work.
They can get, you know, comfortable in the end and the discomfort and, and just ride it through.
Because on the other side there's peace, right? And it's vulnerable courage. Yeah. Vulnerability
creates connection. Yeah. I love that. And we can share. And you're the queen of vulnerability.
(13:35):
Yeah. And that's what our story is. Yeah. My story happened to me and I can be a victim from it. And
I have been happy to know you, but I can now use it as a message to encourage people that if she can
do it, I can too. Yeah, exactly. Right. And that's what several of the ladies in my group said, if you
can do this, I can too. And I'm like, yes, you can. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Snaps for the dark, you know,
(14:00):
the dark, you know, mushrooms grow in the dark. They grow and shit. Right. Yes. Yeah. And our shit,
while it happens, because Forest Gump tells us, oh, you stole my punchline.
I just love that. I'm sorry. That's good. As Forest Gump says, yes. Yeah. Shit happens. Yeah. Okay.
(14:20):
Thank you Skyward TV. If that offends anybody, then maybe this isn't the right show for you.
We are about being real, not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. As you can see with all the bugs flying around.
It's really fertilizer. Like it is. It's our best fertilizer. So, which means that we've got to go
through it to learn to some of the languages. We process it, we integrate it, we metabolize it,
we alchemize it so that we can learn from it. Because I think one of the misnomers about
(14:47):
healing through path is like, just forget about it. You'll get over it. But as you're saying,
your body doesn't forget. Your body keeps forward. There's actually a book called
The Body Explorers. They're my best lavender. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And how can you remember it,
but remove the emotional charge from it? How can you start to flip the script on that? Like what
(15:09):
were the lessons that were learned there? How can you, like was there a silver lining to the storm
cloud? Because sometimes the storm cloud is just so up close and you're in the thick of the storm
where there's deep emotions like shame, grief, guilt, resentment, anger, jealousy, anger, fear.
That when we're stuck, and this is what we refer to as the crap magnet zone.
(15:34):
Because if that's inside of you, then that's usually what comes out at you in terms of
your behavior, your actions, your coping, and then your relationships, your job, everything else
kind of cascades from there. And so how do you shift that cycle? It's increasing awareness.
And can you fill in the blank? Can you build resilience and capacity to be able to,
(16:05):
and I think I've said along, this journey is all about self-awareness. It's not about looking
outside of you and finding the reason why this happened. It's not about that. There's all these
fingers pointing back at you, everything. And if I could just share a quick story, I'm going through
(16:26):
a breakdown right now in the form of my son has gone in communicato with me. I've not seen him
all summer and I had a breakdown, but I was able to shift in a matter of a week, like from the deep
dark depths where I was feeling like I didn't want to be on this planet anymore. Then they're
(16:48):
holding myself through that with some support. I got a little bit of support, but I had to,
I had to go through that again because that was another trauma that was coming up for me,
abandonment and rejection and hear my son, my blood, my heart. Right. And, and my beautiful
colleague, Elvira helped, helped held me through. I have to take radical responsibility for the part
(17:14):
I played. I have to be able to apologize from the deepest parts of me because I raised my son the
best I could with the knowledge and the wisdom that I had, but I was a traumatized, basically,
I was the emotional equivalent of a 14 year old, which is when I got raped. So I was raising my
child as best as I could, but all of my coping, all of my codependency, I put a lot on him
(17:41):
emotionally and he's just finally, just couldn't take it anymore. So I've not done it yet, but
invitation to have these clearing conversations if they're right, but I, I'm far enough in my
journey that after some really good clearing tears, I'm like, Elvira, you're right. I got to
write this letter. I have to be able to send him a voice message or cause he won't answer the phone,
(18:05):
but I'll send him a voice message and I can clear my shit up because it's my shit. Yeah. And even if
he doesn't respond, he's a byproduct of the shit, the shit that I was in. So I have to own that,
the radical responsibility and the awareness that it took. And it took the breakdown. I reached out
for a life vest and because of the, you know, the people that I've surrounded myself with now,
(18:28):
because of doing this inner work, I got the help that I needed and I've now shifted, you know,
I've, I'm still going through it, but I'm not in that dark, dark place. So it's having that person
and having the community around you, which I think that has been integral. I've been an independent
hairstylist for 34 years and to be in a community now with the love your vibe and with other, other
(18:53):
mentors that I've been working with over the last four years. It's like, how did I, how did I make it
this far? How did I make it this far? Well, you did, but it was basically survival. Now you're,
you've gone through rival, right? You're driving from survival to rival. And that's what the inner
wear can do, right? You don't have to just survive. You can thrive. And, and so here's an example of
(19:15):
someone that's in the midst of the crap still, like she hasn't resolved this thing with her child,
but you know that it's going to be okay. And however he responds, he's going to respond.
He's not ready for you. He's not going to be ready, but you've at least shared your heart.
You've at least taken accountability. You've taken responsibility. This inner work takes a lot of
courage because you have to have a lot of radical self-awareness and a lot of radical responsibility.
(19:40):
And then you're able to shift things because when we get something like, oh my God, I've been showing
up like this my whole life. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be this. That's transformation.
And that is what can save, you know, that can save relationships. It can save, you know, like jobs
that aren't going well. Like it could save your mental health, you know, your physical health,
(20:02):
because you're able to get real. That is what Dr. Phil talks about getting real, like being who you
are and stating your truth and, and, and embracing your light and your dark and your light in your
shadow, because we're all light beings, but we also have a shadow. And unless we love the shadow piece
of ourselves, we can't live in the light. So that's what this inner work is about. It's yes. Thank you.
(20:26):
And, and so we're blessed to wrap up. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. So, so we invite you to follow us
on, on the Love Your Vibe show. Um, it's a revolution of evolution and we are excited to bring you new
guests to have these beautiful conversations with, so you can learn more of these modalities, this
magic that can help you on your journey, um, to wholeness, to, to being your aligned, authentic,
(20:50):
fully self-expressed self, because we believe that could be heaven on earth.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Bye.
Hello everyone and welcome, welcome to the Love Your Vibe show. We are here on Skyward TV and
(00:12):
Hopeful Radio and my name is Alvira Hopper and I am your host along with Eleanor Hayward and
Jennifer Hawkins today is our guest. So just gonna give you a quick rundown of this show. This show
is all about you. It's about helping you to do your inner work of healing and growth. We've all
been hurt on this planet because of COVID. There's a lot of people struggling with mental health and
(00:35):
our take on improving our mental health is through personal development. So this is a spiritual path
to taking care of yourself at the highest level and it is not to put down Western medicine but
there's a lot of other modalities out there that we really care about and we are very, very big
believers in the Miracle Magnet Movement which states that all modalities matter. It's not just
(00:59):
Western medicine, it's all the pieces. There's so many amazing things on the planet and we're gonna
bring you as many as we can and today we'll be speaking with our beautiful guest Jennifer Hawkins
who is the co-developer of the Love Your Vibe Transformation Personal Development Solution for
Heart Centered Humans along with Eleanor Hayward. The two of them came together when COVID hit and
(01:21):
they created a beautiful six-month program that virtually every graduate wishes to facilitate as
well. So our team is growing on the planet because the more we can get this work out into the right
hearts and minds and souls, the more we can raise the vibration of humanity and we believe that when
that happens we can have heaven on earth. So that's what we believe in, right ladies? Yay! Awesome!
(01:47):
So let's get started. We're gonna ask Jennifer some questions about her journey because your
modality Jennifer, you did a lot of personal development and the miracle mindset definitely
helped you to go from Crap Magnet to Miracle Magnet where you started attracting better things
and then you found that there was more healing that needed to be done which was not part of
(02:11):
the Love Your Vibe Transformation. You needed more, right? So tell us a little bit about the
more that you discovered and what it did for you. The more? Well I think and it became a buzzword
I think for a while through COVID is trauma and I knew I had experienced trauma as a young teenager
(02:37):
in the form of being raped and that was I cognitively knew that but what I didn't recognize is the
effects of trauma on the body and how the nervous system is affected because of the trauma that I
experienced as a child and from a young childhood I mean trauma comes in a lot of different forms.
It's too much, too fast, too soon of anything. Too much, too fast, too soon. Keep that in mind.
(03:05):
And that's really important because it could even be a good thing if it's too much, too fast,
too soon that causes the body to become dysregulated. The nervous system becomes dysregulated.
So as I was on my journey of doing the mindset work I found myself getting really triggered or
activated by again the too much, too fast, too soon and the mind trying to overwrite a belief
(03:30):
that was in my body. So the nervous system responds with memory and it's not necessarily
in the mind but the body retains these memories. In the unconscious. In the unconscious. Right,
right. The body is the unconscious, right? The body is the unconscious. The trigger is the
unconscious mind reaching for help. It's speaking to us. I got chills over. Yeah, that's amazing.
(03:51):
It's speaking to us and I spent the majority of my life in my head. When I look back I'm like I was
like this big floating head. The over thinker. Oh yeah. Right? And we all have different links.
Which is a coping mechanism to trauma. Yeah. Totally. Totally. I went into deep alcohol addiction,
(04:12):
over sexed, anything that would take me away from feeling what I was feeling because it didn't make
sense. I had no one to talk to. We moved around a lot as a child. My father was in the military.
So I never had a safe place. There's never a safe place and you think your parents would be that
safe place but that isn't always the case because our parents are also traumatized and we're shown
(04:35):
how to parent by their parents. So they never mean ill but they just don't have the capacity
to create those really secure bonds as children and that's what creates our coping mechanisms
and how we show up in relationships, codependency, you know all of these pieces. Juicy stuff.
So for me finding a somatic healer and doing this therapy called felt sense which was
(05:01):
Eugene Gendlin. Okay. And it's a beautiful. Sorry we're outside on my back and there's a lot of
mischief. This is not perfect. Okay. It's allowing the body to express and the body actually has a
(05:21):
different language. Our mind wants to automatically come up with the answer, right? The mind wants to
figure this out. What is it? Fast, quick, get it over and done with and the body speaks very,
very slowly. So as I began healing that disconnection and listening to the props of the body,
it just opened up this whole other level of healing that I would never have been aware of.
(05:46):
I just was not, for me it had to be logical. It was going to be logical. Give me the magic pill
and I'll be fixed. Yeah. Can anyone relate to that? Yeah. Right. And it was great. I'm like,
why am I not better? Because what you said, something you had said was that like your brain
can hear one thing but your body says something else. So for example, part of the culture that
(06:09):
we create with the Love Your Vibe Transformation is that everybody is safe, seen, celebrated,
and supported. And in your head, you can be in a safe space but your body is still saying,
I don't feel safe. So tell us more about that because safety is big for you. Safety is big
because I never felt safe. So it's interesting that even in a safe space with close friends,
(06:31):
my body has a memory of different stories, different events, and I don't necessarily
remember them cognitively, but the body's saying this isn't safe. As soon as questions get asked,
I react. Because in my past, people asking questions were building ammunition against
them. Wow. And so this had happened, but it replayed over and over and over. So the fact that I've now
(06:57):
reconnected to that part, when I'm in a situation, I have more awareness that I can hold myself and
build capacity to be in that discomfort. What does it mean to hold yourself? It's seeing the
activation and not suppressing it. Or is it seeing or feeling it? You're holding it in your body.
Okay. So the body's holding it. Here it is, the emotion's coming up. I don't know what it is.
(07:21):
It's butterflies in my stomach. It's my hands tingling. It's any number of things. And I can
sit with it instead of being like, you know, running off to something else, going to grab a bottle of wine
or, you know, just ignoring it. Okay. So holding yourself is feeling the feelings. Is that right,
Jennifer? Yeah. And being in the discomfort of it. And that takes titration. They call it titration,
(07:46):
where you eat a little bit at a time. Because trauma doesn't, you don't have to have a memory
to hold yourself in trauma in a somatic healing. You don't need to have a memory. It's just holding
space in the body for what's here. What's here now. I love you. I'm listening. I love you. I'm
(08:08):
listening. And allow the body to start communicating. That comes in. And all of a sudden your knees will
start to tingle. Oh, wow. And it'll travel up to your head. My body's tingling now, just talking about it.
So the body communicates and this is what it's designed to do. You're designed to be able to
heal ourselves. But because we've suppressed and bypassed those emotional responses that we were
(08:30):
never able to complete. So the fight and the flight, in most cases as children, we couldn't have ran
away and we couldn't have fought. So we bury it. So that's held, that's from infancy.
But it's stored in the body and it gets brought out again to protect us. So it's not, again,
(08:51):
not shaming that part because it was designed to protect us. And thank God our nervous systems
are designed the way they are because they got us to where we are today. But to become aware of how
the body speaks to you, it's very slow. It's very languid. And it's scared because it hasn't been
heard for 30 or 40 years. It hasn't been witnessed. It hasn't been allowed to share what it's going
(09:15):
through. And I don't have all the language in all the bits. I actually been getting a study
in integrative somatic trauma therapy the end of next month, last year, September 1st.
And I'm really excited to delve into this more because what I found, I just recently finished
(09:36):
mentoring with the Love Your Vibe, a six month program at a local woman's shelter.
And it was just so beautiful. And if I could just share, one of the ladies said that, you know,
they have a lot of people coming in to provide facilitation and different modalities. I'm not
sure exactly, different programs. And what she'd said was that people come in and they talk at them.
(09:58):
And these women are highly traumatized. They're highly traumatized. So all of a sudden,
this person's coming in. Physical, verbal, and also this person can say, no, that's not right.
Do it this way. That is going to actually re-traumatize them. So what this woman communicated
with means that how I held space, and that's because of my trauma awareness, that I was able
(10:19):
to just listen and not make them wrong, not correct them, just they were safe, seeing, celebrated,
and supported. And that for them was the transformation that they needed to be able to see themselves.
Wow. Yeah. And they walked through the other side after six months. So that, it just really anchored
for me how important the somatic work is, where it really, I was like, I need to learn more about
(10:42):
this so I can take, because the somatic practice doesn't take, it doesn't take long. It can be
really, really quick. You can shift it quickly. But to have those tools that I can share those,
so that would be like my little magic in our six month program. That little magic that I can say,
here's it here, hold this. Magic and modality is the same thing. We talk about all modalities matter,
(11:05):
and people can serve with their story, their message, and their magic. And each of these ladies
has amazing stories. I have my story, and our message is, you know, you don't have to be here,
you can be over here, and your magic or modality is how did you get there, right? So thank you. I
just wanted to explain that. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so it's been really wonderful. And
(11:28):
I want to remind people, like, you know, starting this journey, it's an ebb and the flow. You know,
you'll go through times where you're like, oh yeah, I see the growth, I see the healing, I see it,
and then all of a sudden it feels like it's declining. But what we forget is that we need
that integration time. We need that time where this new thing that I've learned, this thing that
(11:48):
I've healed needs time to now be incorporated into ourselves. And then you'll find maybe a time
where it's just like this plateau, where there's just, it's not up or down. It's just kind of like
I'm just coasting along. And I, you know, I've been there, what's wrong with me? Why is this not, why
am I not better? Why am I not moving forward? And it's the time where that integration piece
(12:10):
is really, really important. And it's having that compassion and patience with yourself,
that it's all part of the journey. You didn't get to where you were in one year. I mean, it
took me 35 years, 40 years to get here. So do you, do I actually think that it's going to be, I'm
going to, I'm going to heal this in six months? No, no, no, no. There's layers. It takes what it
(12:31):
takes. It takes what it takes. So that is one thing for me in the lesson of healing
was that there's no timeline. There's ebbs and flows, highs and lows,
breakdowns and breakthroughs. And as long as there's a movement and you don't give up on yourself,
(12:51):
you're going to have low, slow days and just holding and the capacity is like holding yourself
in that I'm not bad and wrong. There's nothing wrong with me. This is just what it is right now.
Right. And not letting the monkey mind saying, Oh, you're not good enough. You're not capable.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's so beautiful. And I love the idea that, you know, people don't
(13:14):
necessarily have to go to meds to numb out because they're so uncomfortable. They can do this work.
They can get, you know, comfortable in the end and the discomfort and, and just ride it through.
Because on the other side there's peace, right? And it's vulnerable courage. Yeah. Vulnerability
creates connection. Yeah. I love that. And we can share. And you're the queen of vulnerability.
(13:35):
Yeah. And that's what our story is. Yeah. My story happened to me and I can be a victim from it. And
I have been happy to know you, but I can now use it as a message to encourage people that if she can
do it, I can too. Yeah, exactly. Right. And that's what several of the ladies in my group said, if you
can do this, I can too. And I'm like, yes, you can. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Snaps for the dark, you know,
(14:00):
the dark, you know, mushrooms grow in the dark. They grow and shit. Right. Yes. Yeah. And our shit,
while it happens, because Forest Gump tells us, oh, you stole my punchline.
I just love that. I'm sorry. That's good. As Forest Gump says, yes. Yeah. Shit happens. Yeah. Okay.
(14:20):
Thank you Skyward TV. If that offends anybody, then maybe this isn't the right show for you.
We are about being real, not perfect. Yeah. Yeah. As you can see with all the bugs flying around.
It's really fertilizer. Like it is. It's our best fertilizer. So, which means that we've got to go
through it to learn to some of the languages. We process it, we integrate it, we metabolize it,
we alchemize it so that we can learn from it. Because I think one of the misnomers about
(14:47):
healing through path is like, just forget about it. You'll get over it. But as you're saying,
your body doesn't forget. Your body keeps forward. There's actually a book called
The Body Explorers. They're my best lavender. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And how can you remember it,
but remove the emotional charge from it? How can you start to flip the script on that? Like what
(15:09):
were the lessons that were learned there? How can you, like was there a silver lining to the storm
cloud? Because sometimes the storm cloud is just so up close and you're in the thick of the storm
where there's deep emotions like shame, grief, guilt, resentment, anger, jealousy, anger, fear.
That when we're stuck, and this is what we refer to as the crap magnet zone.
(15:34):
Because if that's inside of you, then that's usually what comes out at you in terms of
your behavior, your actions, your coping, and then your relationships, your job, everything else
kind of cascades from there. And so how do you shift that cycle? It's increasing awareness.
And can you fill in the blank? Can you build resilience and capacity to be able to,
(16:05):
and I think I've said along, this journey is all about self-awareness. It's not about looking
outside of you and finding the reason why this happened. It's not about that. There's all these
fingers pointing back at you, everything. And if I could just share a quick story, I'm going through
(16:26):
a breakdown right now in the form of my son has gone in communicato with me. I've not seen him
all summer and I had a breakdown, but I was able to shift in a matter of a week, like from the deep
dark depths where I was feeling like I didn't want to be on this planet anymore. Then they're
(16:48):
holding myself through that with some support. I got a little bit of support, but I had to,
I had to go through that again because that was another trauma that was coming up for me,
abandonment and rejection and hear my son, my blood, my heart. Right. And, and my beautiful
colleague, Elvira helped, helped held me through. I have to take radical responsibility for the part
(17:14):
I played. I have to be able to apologize from the deepest parts of me because I raised my son the
best I could with the knowledge and the wisdom that I had, but I was a traumatized, basically,
I was the emotional equivalent of a 14 year old, which is when I got raped. So I was raising my
child as best as I could, but all of my coping, all of my codependency, I put a lot on him
(17:41):
emotionally and he's just finally, just couldn't take it anymore. So I've not done it yet, but
invitation to have these clearing conversations if they're right, but I, I'm far enough in my
journey that after some really good clearing tears, I'm like, Elvira, you're right. I got to
write this letter. I have to be able to send him a voice message or cause he won't answer the phone,
(18:05):
but I'll send him a voice message and I can clear my shit up because it's my shit. Yeah. And even if
he doesn't respond, he's a byproduct of the shit, the shit that I was in. So I have to own that,
the radical responsibility and the awareness that it took. And it took the breakdown. I reached out
for a life vest and because of the, you know, the people that I've surrounded myself with now,
(18:28):
because of doing this inner work, I got the help that I needed and I've now shifted, you know,
I've, I'm still going through it, but I'm not in that dark, dark place. So it's having that person
and having the community around you, which I think that has been integral. I've been an independent
hairstylist for 34 years and to be in a community now with the love your vibe and with other, other
(18:53):
mentors that I've been working with over the last four years. It's like, how did I, how did I make it
this far? How did I make it this far? Well, you did, but it was basically survival. Now you're,
you've gone through rival, right? You're driving from survival to rival. And that's what the inner
wear can do, right? You don't have to just survive. You can thrive. And, and so here's an example of
(19:15):
someone that's in the midst of the crap still, like she hasn't resolved this thing with her child,
but you know that it's going to be okay. And however he responds, he's going to respond.
He's not ready for you. He's not going to be ready, but you've at least shared your heart.
You've at least taken accountability. You've taken responsibility. This inner work takes a lot of
courage because you have to have a lot of radical self-awareness and a lot of radical responsibility.
(19:40):
And then you're able to shift things because when we get something like, oh my God, I've been showing
up like this my whole life. I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be this. That's transformation.
And that is what can save, you know, that can save relationships. It can save, you know, like jobs
that aren't going well. Like it could save your mental health, you know, your physical health,
(20:02):
because you're able to get real. That is what Dr. Phil talks about getting real, like being who you
are and stating your truth and, and, and embracing your light and your dark and your light in your
shadow, because we're all light beings, but we also have a shadow. And unless we love the shadow piece
of ourselves, we can't live in the light. So that's what this inner work is about. It's yes. Thank you.
(20:26):
And, and so we're blessed to wrap up. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. So, so we invite you to follow us
on, on the Love Your Vibe show. Um, it's a revolution of evolution and we are excited to bring you new
guests to have these beautiful conversations with, so you can learn more of these modalities, this
magic that can help you on your journey, um, to wholeness, to, to being your aligned, authentic,
(20:50):
fully self-expressed self, because we believe that could be heaven on earth.
Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching. Bye.
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