October 18, 2023 • 30 mins
In this episode of "The Love Your Vibe Show", Elvira and Eleanor speak with Author and Podcast host Christy Holt about the importance of having a non-judgmental support network to help us maintain balance and well-being. Christy talks about her own personal experience with marriage and relationships on a journey to self-acceptance and self-care. She explains that we should not be looking for another person to make us whole.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome to the Love Your Vibe show. It is a revolution of evolution.
(00:11):
We are Elvira Hopper and Eleanor Hayward. We're happy to be on Skyward TV and Hopeful Radio
on several platforms because we are so aligned with their mission to help people on the planet
today get to mental wellness through the spiritual path. We believe that we are purveyors of a unique
(00:34):
and personal development solution for heart-centered humans and we believe that all modalities matter.
So whatever helps you to live in alignment, authentic, fully self-expressed so that you can
be a miracle magnet in life is what you should do more often. And today we are thrilled to bring on
one of our beautiful members of our team. Our guest today is a powerful member. Her name is
(01:01):
Christy Holt. She is the happiness Hasi. Hello Christy. She's also a podcaster. She's an author.
She's presently writing another book on relationships and she is the mom of four teenage
boys and you will learn more about her as she speaks. So let's talk about your story, your message
(01:22):
and your magic Christy because the world truly needs it today more than ever. Thank you for being
here. Yeah thank you so much for having me. I'm ready and excited to dive into this conversation.
So exciting. So where we usually like to start is asking you a little bit about what brought you to
where you are. What is your story about? What is your why? People don't want to know what you do
(01:48):
but why you do it Christy. So can you dive in and tell us a bit more about that? Yeah well
as you both know because I know you both a little bit I'm gonna share a little bit about my past
relationship because that is one of the most pivotal pieces of my story. Of course there's
multiple pieces. I used to be a professional accountant and if you finish listening to this
(02:11):
interview you might be like what? Crazy! And I so I've had a number of different experiences
that created turning points throughout my life but the most significant one I think was when I
was in my marriage and this was about five to seven years ago. It wasn't working. I was trying to make
(02:32):
it work but I wasn't happy and as a result of that I don't know if anybody else can relate to this
I did a lot of complaining and blaming and waiting for my partner to change and it wasn't working
right? It just continued being kind of crappy and so you know as a mom I really wanted to do what was
best for my kids and so I thought keeping the family together was the best possible outcome
(02:57):
until it wasn't until I realized and I had this moment sort of part and parcel with this idea
that my kids actually needed for me to choose me and to show them by way of my actions and not just
my words how to create your happy which incidentally is the name of my podcast it's called create your
happy and so I had this sort of realization they actually need me to go first they need me to show
(03:22):
them because we all know these kids they don't really listen that well you know we got to show
them with our actions and be the actual role model part and parcel with this I have this epiphany
moment and you know channeling a little Taylor Swift here hi I'm the problem it's me and I realized
I'm the common denominator in every last one of my problems uh don't want to hear that right
(03:50):
oh my gosh it's me dang and then at the same time I realized I'm also the one who has the
has the ability to change things so I didn't stay stuck in that for too long I realized you know
what I'm the common denominator in the problems and the solutions and so I started taking steps
to you know well I had already been on a fairly long personal growth journey I'm kind of I love
(04:15):
reading I love reading about neuroscience and quantum physics and people psychology like all
of the stuff I just find humans incredibly fascinating but I really dove in even more
started to work on myself I started some things like you know bringing compassion and self-love
into the picture and it really shifted the way I felt about myself and my own confidence and so
(04:39):
eventually what I realized after doing this self-discovery and really finding out because I
kind of got lost a little bit and who I was in becoming a mom and a wife and I kind of was
I call it just a momitis and so I realized I needed to kind of figure out again who I was and it
wasn't about going back to who I was before all of that because that's not really possible so it
(05:02):
was about figuring out who am I going to be now here and moving forward and so I started doing
you know self-discovery and and learning about who I was and as a result I realized that my marriage
really wasn't working and it just really it wasn't in alignment the hard truth at that time was it
(05:24):
was probably never in alignment and I was really just kind of trying to make it work and uh hello
recovered people pleaser that played a lot into codependent patterns etc etc anyways long story
short from there is I left the marriage which for me was the best possible decision and there have
(05:49):
absolutely been challenges as far as co-parenting and all of these kinds of things but I would never
go back and change any of that history because it all brought me to this moment right here right now
and it taught me all of the things that I need to know to share with people which is what my mission
is so that I can help women who are feeling unhappy feeling like there's something missing
(06:12):
feeling like they're just a mom or just a wife or that they just aren't sure what they're supposed
to be doing and to really help them to make those small shifts because honestly it's not
a whole life transformation that's required up front it's a series of small shifts along the way
right oh wow that is so good so yes let's let's give some snaps and you know where this comes from
(06:38):
right do you right did you yeah it's like the poetry gems right yes yeah yeah I didn't realize
that till just recently we always snap our fingers right when we agree with something and it goes
back to the poetry slams back in the 60s right where all the cool dudes would listen and give
snaps right anyway jazz hands yeah yeah yeah so yeah so that's that's amazing christy you you are
(07:02):
definitely an example of what's possible you know for women that have been you know or presently
are anyone that's listening right now that's presently in a marriage that is not fulfilling
and and you like you said you know we probably were never aligned right but you probably chose
your husband i'm gonna guess because maybe it was just the right time to get married and he seemed
(07:24):
like a nice guy like tell us why you you chose him to begin with just curious i gotta say honestly
i feel like i was actually married once prior to this and i was now approaching my late 20s and i
definitely felt the clock ticking and we had you know enough background in common and a couple of
shared interests yeah that's not enough i can say that now because i now have the most incredible
(07:52):
amazing relationship with oh yeah the most amazing man and like the contrast is just night and day
but you don't know what you don't know so here i went into that thinking that was going to be
enough i definitely can say looking back i had some self-worth issues i was looking to other
people to fulfill me to fill the void to fill what i thought was missing and broken about me
(08:15):
and i didn't realize which i do now i'm already whole i didn't need anyone to fill in any missing
gaps i didn't need fixing because i wasn't broken and i actually view healing as a general term
as like a recognition of your wholeness because to me it we were never not whole so we don't need to
(08:37):
to heal because there's something wrong with us healing is just recognizing that there is really
nothing wrong with us that's beautiful what a nice way to say it eh yeah i love that reflection
yeah yeah yeah thank you and just a momitis i think a lot of women can relate to that i'm not a mom
but i as a you know like holistic holistic practitioner like i have a lot of clients who
(09:00):
are moms and my sister's a mom and i just it just seems to be all consuming for women and this
culture like we're kind of divided into these nuclear families and everybody's little silo and
it's it's we're meant to be holistic right we're meant to be i mean to be our key i i believe
naturally speaking that everybody helps raise each other's kids and we're missing that community
(09:24):
with that yeah yeah yeah and so yeah no no that used to be the way in indigenous culture right
and it probably still is right like they live on reservations and and um well some of them do and
and there's more of a matriarchal rather than patriarchal um mindset right and history anyway
(09:45):
yeah because i think everybody's been colonized so we're coming back to that more deliberately and
anyway but yeah tell us tell us more about just a mom made us and how that i mean ultimately i was
just so wrapped up in taking care of my kids and really to be honest martyring myself for my kids
to provide whatever they needed to put them first and everything and i think that's a flaw in in the
(10:11):
the way that we perceive being a mother because we can't actually pour from an empty cup and i know
this is an overused analogy but if you're lacking and you're burnt out and exhausted and and just
not literally firing on all cylinders you're not at your best and when you're not at your best you're
not giving as much as you as you could be and it's not necessarily about just getting better so you
(10:32):
can give more but it's because when you build up that abundance it overflows and then the giving
is actually very natural and easy and i wanted to just reflect something with back to the the
parenting thing i think it would actually be really brilliant now i'm not signing up for this so my
kids hear this ever just no i'm not signing up for this but they have often had the older generations
(10:57):
raising the children because they have their poop in a group right as young adults in our 20s and 30s
we're still figuring out who we are a lot of the times right and so we we don't have the parenting
skills that we might have if we were a little bit more mature and wise from personal experience
that's just my take yeah did you think poop in a group yeah yeah i just got i have a lot of sayings
(11:27):
honestly i've never heard that before yeah no i totally hear that and and and there are you know
like i have a few indigenous friends they talk about the aunties and the grandmothers and you
know so this is why i believe that you know we're all we're meant to work together you know and no
man no woman is an island and we need each other you know we need that community and and kids are
(11:53):
better off when they're when they're loved by multiple people and cared for by multiple people
at least that's been my experience and i'm so blessed my my own son had the benefit of being
raised by grandparents you know up into a certain age yeah this is so cool so you know i'm just being
called to ask you um christy with respect to um your boys like like how do you you know um how do
(12:19):
you see them when you were with your your you know their their dad versus who they are now like have
you noticed the difference with them i have to be honest that they're at a very different stage in
life now they're teenagers now and they were younger then so it's hard to really say exactly
what differences really relate because they're just a whole different level of immaturity maybe
(12:45):
i don't know they're 13 to 16 it's a lot of hormones and um 16 wow yeah god bless you
well just the fact that that she can do like all this inner work and take care of herself and love
her vibe using my language um you know where you you go to these incredible trips with your
beautiful partner and you know my god we just get to watch it on social media and like i'm like
(13:09):
go christy you know like you have these gorgeous trips out in the in the in the wild and and the
fact that you're able to to you know be such an example for them and an example for all of us
so even a mama with four boys like young you know young boys 13 to 16 you can still live your best
life right like is that not inspiring absolutely yeah and you should be living your best life
(13:34):
because life is too short for anything less like we have been taught to settle for far too long
and this isn't just women although it may be more pervasive to women and if we look back at some of
the history yeah in in not that far past times we needed men we needed them for our mere survival
(13:55):
and so you know we have this tendency to feel like we need a man or or we'll buck the system
and say i don't need no man uh but you're absolutely right we aren't meant to do life alone
this doesn't mean that you have have to have a spouse or anything it just means that you need
to have people around you a good safe accepting loving non-judgmental community yeah and that to
(14:18):
me that's that's what love your vibe is about is about coming together in this non-judgmental
safe space to explore who you really are who what those parts of you that you might have tucked away
because someone told you it wasn't good or you know they didn't like that about you and so maybe
there's some parts that you tucked away they're probably superpowers in disguise which is probably
(14:39):
why someone was bothered by it in the first place but right you know yeah we can we can start to
bring out some of those parts and i think they fester when when we're trying to hide things
things kind of grow and fester into the surface and if we are provided a good safe space to explore
to sort of bring those things to the surface and really take a good look at what's going on we can
(15:04):
really set ourselves free so i am all for like the safe space to to be really you know as you
would say fully expressed because if we're not then we're probably still trying to be someone else
hmm it's true right and full self-expression can battle depression i've heard it said and yeah and
(15:25):
and even and dr gabor matei one of my favorite um messages of his is and and using my language
is that um the antidote to trauma is authenticity right being fully self-expressed as you truly are
and so these are little hotbeds of and incubators of you know feeling and healing and revealing who
(15:49):
you truly are right now is it not and be a part of that it's so great like i you know having gone
through my own transformational experience over over honestly it's still evolving the journey is
never over there's no end destination you know it's an ongoing uh adventure through life and
(16:12):
you know to watch and witness other people having those aha moments and those breakthroughs and
going from their their pain and their suffering to freedom and peace like there's nothing like it
oh it's so juicy right oh my god i live for that i live information it's just like and yeah you get
to witness it at your you're an apprentice and and you're witnessing that our lovely eleanor is is
(16:36):
the leader that's you know guiding you through all the teachings and tools and you know trying them
on and and seeing how they feel and revealing you know how you really feel and and not being judged
and you know it's just such a beautiful you know space for for you know healing and growth to
greatness as we like to say and uh yeah i love that you are going to be one of our certified mentors
(17:01):
real soon you're almost finished the apprentice program yay um so yeah so i want to learn more
about your next book so so tell us a little bit about your next book oh i'm really excited about
this next project and i i don't have an estimated completion date but i'm going to loosely say 2024
um i don't know yet but it's about relationships and not just romantic relationships but really
(17:28):
all relationships and okay tiny spoiler alert for all of you listening here the relationship
with yourself is foundational to all other relationships so woven into this topic you're
going to see a lot about getting you know a better relationship going with yourself creating space for
self-care true self-care i'm not talking like just bubble baths and pedicures i mean really truly
(17:52):
nurturing your your heart and soul yeah and your and your meat suit too while we're at it right
all of that but uh and your mind you know the whole like i'll say the whole ass human right
hopefully i can say that on on here everything's acceptable here okay
they might keep you out but i don't know i think it's up to the producers but anyway
(18:15):
yeah well i won't make a stream of beeping out or anything okay yeah yeah really just like embracing
your whole your whole human because that's how you're going to best be able to thrive in the
world and you're meant to thrive you're not meant to suffer or struggle or be in pain all the time
yet society has normalized that and so oftentimes we just take it and accept them this just life is
(18:43):
just hard right relationships are hard things are hard and so guess what they feel more difficult
right because you continue to tell yourself it feels difficult so anyways back to the book
it is really about you know this foundational relationship with yourself and then there is
going to be of course we're going to talk about communication we're going to talk about boundaries
(19:05):
we're going to talk about attachment in i'm no attachment expert by any means but just an
overview so that we can understand some of the dynamics that often happen in in difficult
relationships which this is aimed to help people you know not necessarily fix their relationship
because some of them are not that's not the right solution that's not the right path like my case
(19:27):
that was not there was there was no fixing what was never working in the first place
but what i can guarantee is that if you follow these steps you are going to find love that love
that actually comes from within you and if you can build that up guess what it will overflow
and you will receive it back from all kinds of places so that's a little little spoiler alert
(19:50):
but a little bit of what you can expect in there oh my god i can't wait to read it yeah i almost
feel like you're going to become a love magnet right because you love yourself and then that's
what you attract so it's it's definitely something that um yeah i'm excited to read about you as a
single gal i am all about that i'm appropriating too yeah talk about raising your vibe though
(20:13):
right whether you mean it from like an energetic standpoint but also just knowing what you want
allows you so much more clarity and when you know what you want it's very clear when you're
experiencing something that's not it yeah right so instead of settling for something less you're not
going to settle you're going to hold out and you're going to find something that's much more
(20:34):
appropriate and suited for you which that's what you deserve right amazing healthy deep connection
that is what we were meant for i love it you're so articulate yeah i love it and you touched on it
but it's like i feel like that's our our culture is that you're we're so conditioned to look for
your other half that's just the romantic notion and it's like you need to find somebody to make
(20:57):
you whole and it's like yeah no actually because if you're coming in two halves then we're making
then that's where the codependency yeah absolutely and then we're looking for somebody else to fill
us up and it's just yeah it gets messy but two whole people uh magic actually posted yesterday
(21:18):
something that i i say frequently and probably could shouldn't could say more often stop looking
for someone to complete you because that's like hollywood bullshit you're already whole oh sorry
sorry again um beep whatever um you know that's that's not real that's an illusion that you can
find someone to complete you because you're already whole now what you actually want to find is someone
(21:40):
who completely accepts you so stop looking for someone to complete you start looking for people
who completely accept you complete game changer all your quirks and weirdness yes because you know
what if you can't show that and it oh it drives me bonkers when i see people trying to be like oh
like i'm just gonna should i do this on my first date who should be you on your first date period
(22:04):
because why are you wasting time trying to be someone else i'll tell you what i did that i
tried that one on myself i got into a marriage after pretending and honestly thought i felt like
i had to like suck in my gut and just keep my voice the same for way too long right because
once you get in you're wearing the masks you're keeping up this facade it's really hard to break
(22:27):
out of that because then you get into this fearful place of like oh they might not accept me and
especially if the dynamic is not good in the first place it's almost like certainty this would never
fly this wouldn't be okay i can't actually be myself and i know people do this all the time
it's so tempting because we feel this deep need to to partner with someone again like i said
(22:51):
especially for women because you know until not that long ago we couldn't even get money on our
own so you know it's it's in ourselves right it's in our dna and we're still working past that but
women are rising we now have all the you know we have not everywhere in the world so you know
please universe if we can catch up the parts of the world we're lagging behind us uh that women
(23:15):
have a quality yeah and so you know let's let's move forward let's rise together let's bring our
fellow sisters with us and our brothers too of course but oh that's so beautiful sacred masculine
is vital oh yes that's true yeah it's got to be a dance right with that yeah it's got to be a dance
of the sacred masculine divine masculine and divine feminine that to me will be heaven on earth and
(23:40):
that's the world that i want to help co-create with you guys and another team at another level
it's it's possible it's it's here right now we just have to tap into that reality that that it
is here so oh my gosh christy you are such a gem i am so so happy that that we've had this conversation
anything before we we close down yes i want to thank you for your vision of the love your
(24:05):
vibe foundation like i see where you're going with this heaven on earth and being a miracle mindset
magnet like i remember when we were just starting and i'm like as if i could ever tell everybody
and a miracle magnet never mind how to mentor you to do it but it's but it's something that grows
and as we we face our shadow and we heal these layers it's it's just something that grows and
(24:26):
like you said christy like i loved how you put it that healing is is accepting everything that we are
so that we can become full and to realize we're honored to realize that's we're already whole
yeah there you go yeah words words are so tricky and that's interesting thing about the english
language is sometimes like well hold on a minute yeah we need to get in the habit of doing this
(24:47):
range of being hold on that's not exactly not become whole right we're just gonna like let's
yeah yeah exactly return to our authentic self right i mean we're co-creating a series of 11
global retreat centers that are serving the one percent because they especially need to be doing
this work consistently because they're the leaders of our world right and if they get it everyone
(25:08):
else will get it and will resolve global issues with their support and they need to realize that
um sorry there was something i was going to say there about about the people at this level and
this is my 61 year old mind that just lost it anyway it's it's important it'll come back but
um yeah so i the you were you gonna say something else i was just gonna thank you and thanking you
(25:33):
and thanking christy for being an apprentice miracle mindset mentor apprentice and it's just
such an honor to to work with you i i can see how how much you've practiced that inner work and then
it comes out of you as wisdom and that you're you're a rock star shining and i i love all
like i love all the conversations they're so juicy i don't know how how people could be like
(25:56):
meh like it just they're so useful and so juicy and so deep and i'm i'm all about going deep i'm
not really you know i'm not down for small talk and you're not a surface lady you are you're a
deep lady oh and i just thought of what i was gonna say the centers are called return to you global
retreat centers because that is what we're all doing we're returning to the wholeness of us
(26:19):
right and to help these people get that they are these whole beings they return to their authentic
self guess what they do they will heal they will develop go go to the next level because you can
only be so so much if you feel that there's anything missing and you're just showing up
(26:40):
your ego's showing up with all its mass so that you're accepted you're loved you get money you
get fame but who are you really right so this is about returning to you return to your authentic
self i am just so excited about this how great is that yeah and you're going to be serving there
christy so anybody being trained by this fabulous lady as a facilitator gets to serve at these
(27:01):
incredible places mark my words so yeah we we're doing it we are making the world a better place
you know by helping humanity become miracle magnets it's all a choice we can choose to stay
in the low vibes and be crap magnets we can choose to live as our aligned authentic fully
self-expressed selves as miracle magnets and we get to choose so that is what i believe uh and i'm
(27:25):
it's my battle cry till i die so exciting like it's extra exciting because you can't go through
this and then not want to share exactly so it creates this like ripple effect whether whether
you want to or not but you you you don't have to initially go in thinking like i'm i'm gonna do
(27:47):
this to have a certain outcome but once you experience it you can't keep it to yourself
because it's like you've unlocked the secret to having a peaceful and happy and joyful life that
really actually feels good and so of course you want everyone else everybody join me like
let's all link arms because you all deserve to feel really amazing too yeah yeah oh i love it i
(28:10):
love it and you know what we're so happy as the part of this community because we get it and we
just love on each other because there's nothing else to do but love on each other when you accept
yourself and you accept others there's nothing but love right and and you know and some people
think like this sounds kind of culty right because we're so happy but it's not because i ain't that
(28:32):
charismatic as a leader i'm okay i'm not that charismatic this ain't a cult it's just inner
awareness it's inner work and and it's you know and it's stuff that i'm gonna do till i die and
i'm so glad that i have you guys on the journey to do it with me till i die and and we get to help
co you know reveal heaven on earth because i don't say co-create anymore i say reveal because it's
(28:55):
already here it's already here so yeah see making those little adjustments right makes a difference
in perspective love it absolutely absolutely yeah so i think this is a good time to wrap up what do
you think yeah awesome i'm so grateful to skyler tv and hopeful radio for this opportunity
that we magnetized as miracles so grateful for this aligned path of the spiritual journey
(29:20):
towards mental wellness because it's needed today more than ever for people to
to heal yeah yeah amazing we have such compassion for people who are struggling and we hope that
you got a glimmer out of this so we would love to hear your feedback your questions and really
grateful for your attention today yeah awesome and will we put christy's information on how to
(29:43):
contact her in the show notes so if anybody wants to connect with you christy we'll have a way of
doing that and um we are thrilled to um uh that you filled in last minute because our guest was
sick and you came in and we're so so grateful that you were able to change your your calendar not
your calendar your your schedule today to serve this beautiful uh conversation so thank you for
(30:06):
being the amazing human that you are and uh thank you so much we'll see you next time on
the love your vibe show it's a revolution of evolution bye good night thank you
Hello everyone and welcome to the Love Your Vibe show. It is a revolution of evolution.
(00:11):
We are Elvira Hopper and Eleanor Hayward. We're happy to be on Skyward TV and Hopeful Radio
on several platforms because we are so aligned with their mission to help people on the planet
today get to mental wellness through the spiritual path. We believe that we are purveyors of a unique
(00:34):
and personal development solution for heart-centered humans and we believe that all modalities matter.
So whatever helps you to live in alignment, authentic, fully self-expressed so that you can
be a miracle magnet in life is what you should do more often. And today we are thrilled to bring on
one of our beautiful members of our team. Our guest today is a powerful member. Her name is
(01:01):
Christy Holt. She is the happiness Hasi. Hello Christy. She's also a podcaster. She's an author.
She's presently writing another book on relationships and she is the mom of four teenage
boys and you will learn more about her as she speaks. So let's talk about your story, your message
(01:22):
and your magic Christy because the world truly needs it today more than ever. Thank you for being
here. Yeah thank you so much for having me. I'm ready and excited to dive into this conversation.
So exciting. So where we usually like to start is asking you a little bit about what brought you to
where you are. What is your story about? What is your why? People don't want to know what you do
(01:48):
but why you do it Christy. So can you dive in and tell us a bit more about that? Yeah well
as you both know because I know you both a little bit I'm gonna share a little bit about my past
relationship because that is one of the most pivotal pieces of my story. Of course there's
multiple pieces. I used to be a professional accountant and if you finish listening to this
(02:11):
interview you might be like what? Crazy! And I so I've had a number of different experiences
that created turning points throughout my life but the most significant one I think was when I
was in my marriage and this was about five to seven years ago. It wasn't working. I was trying to make
(02:32):
it work but I wasn't happy and as a result of that I don't know if anybody else can relate to this
I did a lot of complaining and blaming and waiting for my partner to change and it wasn't working
right? It just continued being kind of crappy and so you know as a mom I really wanted to do what was
best for my kids and so I thought keeping the family together was the best possible outcome
(02:57):
until it wasn't until I realized and I had this moment sort of part and parcel with this idea
that my kids actually needed for me to choose me and to show them by way of my actions and not just
my words how to create your happy which incidentally is the name of my podcast it's called create your
happy and so I had this sort of realization they actually need me to go first they need me to show
(03:22):
them because we all know these kids they don't really listen that well you know we got to show
them with our actions and be the actual role model part and parcel with this I have this epiphany
moment and you know channeling a little Taylor Swift here hi I'm the problem it's me and I realized
I'm the common denominator in every last one of my problems uh don't want to hear that right
(03:50):
oh my gosh it's me dang and then at the same time I realized I'm also the one who has the
has the ability to change things so I didn't stay stuck in that for too long I realized you know
what I'm the common denominator in the problems and the solutions and so I started taking steps
to you know well I had already been on a fairly long personal growth journey I'm kind of I love
(04:15):
reading I love reading about neuroscience and quantum physics and people psychology like all
of the stuff I just find humans incredibly fascinating but I really dove in even more
started to work on myself I started some things like you know bringing compassion and self-love
into the picture and it really shifted the way I felt about myself and my own confidence and so
(04:39):
eventually what I realized after doing this self-discovery and really finding out because I
kind of got lost a little bit and who I was in becoming a mom and a wife and I kind of was
I call it just a momitis and so I realized I needed to kind of figure out again who I was and it
wasn't about going back to who I was before all of that because that's not really possible so it
(05:02):
was about figuring out who am I going to be now here and moving forward and so I started doing
you know self-discovery and and learning about who I was and as a result I realized that my marriage
really wasn't working and it just really it wasn't in alignment the hard truth at that time was it
(05:24):
was probably never in alignment and I was really just kind of trying to make it work and uh hello
recovered people pleaser that played a lot into codependent patterns etc etc anyways long story
short from there is I left the marriage which for me was the best possible decision and there have
(05:49):
absolutely been challenges as far as co-parenting and all of these kinds of things but I would never
go back and change any of that history because it all brought me to this moment right here right now
and it taught me all of the things that I need to know to share with people which is what my mission
is so that I can help women who are feeling unhappy feeling like there's something missing
(06:12):
feeling like they're just a mom or just a wife or that they just aren't sure what they're supposed
to be doing and to really help them to make those small shifts because honestly it's not
a whole life transformation that's required up front it's a series of small shifts along the way
right oh wow that is so good so yes let's let's give some snaps and you know where this comes from
(06:38):
right do you right did you yeah it's like the poetry gems right yes yeah yeah I didn't realize
that till just recently we always snap our fingers right when we agree with something and it goes
back to the poetry slams back in the 60s right where all the cool dudes would listen and give
snaps right anyway jazz hands yeah yeah yeah so yeah so that's that's amazing christy you you are
(07:02):
definitely an example of what's possible you know for women that have been you know or presently
are anyone that's listening right now that's presently in a marriage that is not fulfilling
and and you like you said you know we probably were never aligned right but you probably chose
your husband i'm gonna guess because maybe it was just the right time to get married and he seemed
(07:24):
like a nice guy like tell us why you you chose him to begin with just curious i gotta say honestly
i feel like i was actually married once prior to this and i was now approaching my late 20s and i
definitely felt the clock ticking and we had you know enough background in common and a couple of
shared interests yeah that's not enough i can say that now because i now have the most incredible
(07:52):
amazing relationship with oh yeah the most amazing man and like the contrast is just night and day
but you don't know what you don't know so here i went into that thinking that was going to be
enough i definitely can say looking back i had some self-worth issues i was looking to other
people to fulfill me to fill the void to fill what i thought was missing and broken about me
(08:15):
and i didn't realize which i do now i'm already whole i didn't need anyone to fill in any missing
gaps i didn't need fixing because i wasn't broken and i actually view healing as a general term
as like a recognition of your wholeness because to me it we were never not whole so we don't need to
(08:37):
to heal because there's something wrong with us healing is just recognizing that there is really
nothing wrong with us that's beautiful what a nice way to say it eh yeah i love that reflection
yeah yeah yeah thank you and just a momitis i think a lot of women can relate to that i'm not a mom
but i as a you know like holistic holistic practitioner like i have a lot of clients who
(09:00):
are moms and my sister's a mom and i just it just seems to be all consuming for women and this
culture like we're kind of divided into these nuclear families and everybody's little silo and
it's it's we're meant to be holistic right we're meant to be i mean to be our key i i believe
naturally speaking that everybody helps raise each other's kids and we're missing that community
(09:24):
with that yeah yeah yeah and so yeah no no that used to be the way in indigenous culture right
and it probably still is right like they live on reservations and and um well some of them do and
and there's more of a matriarchal rather than patriarchal um mindset right and history anyway
(09:45):
yeah because i think everybody's been colonized so we're coming back to that more deliberately and
anyway but yeah tell us tell us more about just a mom made us and how that i mean ultimately i was
just so wrapped up in taking care of my kids and really to be honest martyring myself for my kids
to provide whatever they needed to put them first and everything and i think that's a flaw in in the
(10:11):
the way that we perceive being a mother because we can't actually pour from an empty cup and i know
this is an overused analogy but if you're lacking and you're burnt out and exhausted and and just
not literally firing on all cylinders you're not at your best and when you're not at your best you're
not giving as much as you as you could be and it's not necessarily about just getting better so you
(10:32):
can give more but it's because when you build up that abundance it overflows and then the giving
is actually very natural and easy and i wanted to just reflect something with back to the the
parenting thing i think it would actually be really brilliant now i'm not signing up for this so my
kids hear this ever just no i'm not signing up for this but they have often had the older generations
(10:57):
raising the children because they have their poop in a group right as young adults in our 20s and 30s
we're still figuring out who we are a lot of the times right and so we we don't have the parenting
skills that we might have if we were a little bit more mature and wise from personal experience
that's just my take yeah did you think poop in a group yeah yeah i just got i have a lot of sayings
(11:27):
honestly i've never heard that before yeah no i totally hear that and and and there are you know
like i have a few indigenous friends they talk about the aunties and the grandmothers and you
know so this is why i believe that you know we're all we're meant to work together you know and no
man no woman is an island and we need each other you know we need that community and and kids are
(11:53):
better off when they're when they're loved by multiple people and cared for by multiple people
at least that's been my experience and i'm so blessed my my own son had the benefit of being
raised by grandparents you know up into a certain age yeah this is so cool so you know i'm just being
called to ask you um christy with respect to um your boys like like how do you you know um how do
(12:19):
you see them when you were with your your you know their their dad versus who they are now like have
you noticed the difference with them i have to be honest that they're at a very different stage in
life now they're teenagers now and they were younger then so it's hard to really say exactly
what differences really relate because they're just a whole different level of immaturity maybe
(12:45):
i don't know they're 13 to 16 it's a lot of hormones and um 16 wow yeah god bless you
well just the fact that that she can do like all this inner work and take care of herself and love
her vibe using my language um you know where you you go to these incredible trips with your
beautiful partner and you know my god we just get to watch it on social media and like i'm like
(13:09):
go christy you know like you have these gorgeous trips out in the in the in the wild and and the
fact that you're able to to you know be such an example for them and an example for all of us
so even a mama with four boys like young you know young boys 13 to 16 you can still live your best
life right like is that not inspiring absolutely yeah and you should be living your best life
(13:34):
because life is too short for anything less like we have been taught to settle for far too long
and this isn't just women although it may be more pervasive to women and if we look back at some of
the history yeah in in not that far past times we needed men we needed them for our mere survival
(13:55):
and so you know we have this tendency to feel like we need a man or or we'll buck the system
and say i don't need no man uh but you're absolutely right we aren't meant to do life alone
this doesn't mean that you have have to have a spouse or anything it just means that you need
to have people around you a good safe accepting loving non-judgmental community yeah and that to
(14:18):
me that's that's what love your vibe is about is about coming together in this non-judgmental
safe space to explore who you really are who what those parts of you that you might have tucked away
because someone told you it wasn't good or you know they didn't like that about you and so maybe
there's some parts that you tucked away they're probably superpowers in disguise which is probably
(14:39):
why someone was bothered by it in the first place but right you know yeah we can we can start to
bring out some of those parts and i think they fester when when we're trying to hide things
things kind of grow and fester into the surface and if we are provided a good safe space to explore
to sort of bring those things to the surface and really take a good look at what's going on we can
(15:04):
really set ourselves free so i am all for like the safe space to to be really you know as you
would say fully expressed because if we're not then we're probably still trying to be someone else
hmm it's true right and full self-expression can battle depression i've heard it said and yeah and
(15:25):
and even and dr gabor matei one of my favorite um messages of his is and and using my language
is that um the antidote to trauma is authenticity right being fully self-expressed as you truly are
and so these are little hotbeds of and incubators of you know feeling and healing and revealing who
(15:49):
you truly are right now is it not and be a part of that it's so great like i you know having gone
through my own transformational experience over over honestly it's still evolving the journey is
never over there's no end destination you know it's an ongoing uh adventure through life and
(16:12):
you know to watch and witness other people having those aha moments and those breakthroughs and
going from their their pain and their suffering to freedom and peace like there's nothing like it
oh it's so juicy right oh my god i live for that i live information it's just like and yeah you get
to witness it at your you're an apprentice and and you're witnessing that our lovely eleanor is is
(16:36):
the leader that's you know guiding you through all the teachings and tools and you know trying them
on and and seeing how they feel and revealing you know how you really feel and and not being judged
and you know it's just such a beautiful you know space for for you know healing and growth to
greatness as we like to say and uh yeah i love that you are going to be one of our certified mentors
(17:01):
real soon you're almost finished the apprentice program yay um so yeah so i want to learn more
about your next book so so tell us a little bit about your next book oh i'm really excited about
this next project and i i don't have an estimated completion date but i'm going to loosely say 2024
um i don't know yet but it's about relationships and not just romantic relationships but really
(17:28):
all relationships and okay tiny spoiler alert for all of you listening here the relationship
with yourself is foundational to all other relationships so woven into this topic you're
going to see a lot about getting you know a better relationship going with yourself creating space for
self-care true self-care i'm not talking like just bubble baths and pedicures i mean really truly
(17:52):
nurturing your your heart and soul yeah and your and your meat suit too while we're at it right
all of that but uh and your mind you know the whole like i'll say the whole ass human right
hopefully i can say that on on here everything's acceptable here okay
they might keep you out but i don't know i think it's up to the producers but anyway
(18:15):
yeah well i won't make a stream of beeping out or anything okay yeah yeah really just like embracing
your whole your whole human because that's how you're going to best be able to thrive in the
world and you're meant to thrive you're not meant to suffer or struggle or be in pain all the time
yet society has normalized that and so oftentimes we just take it and accept them this just life is
(18:43):
just hard right relationships are hard things are hard and so guess what they feel more difficult
right because you continue to tell yourself it feels difficult so anyways back to the book
it is really about you know this foundational relationship with yourself and then there is
going to be of course we're going to talk about communication we're going to talk about boundaries
(19:05):
we're going to talk about attachment in i'm no attachment expert by any means but just an
overview so that we can understand some of the dynamics that often happen in in difficult
relationships which this is aimed to help people you know not necessarily fix their relationship
because some of them are not that's not the right solution that's not the right path like my case
(19:27):
that was not there was there was no fixing what was never working in the first place
but what i can guarantee is that if you follow these steps you are going to find love that love
that actually comes from within you and if you can build that up guess what it will overflow
and you will receive it back from all kinds of places so that's a little little spoiler alert
(19:50):
but a little bit of what you can expect in there oh my god i can't wait to read it yeah i almost
feel like you're going to become a love magnet right because you love yourself and then that's
what you attract so it's it's definitely something that um yeah i'm excited to read about you as a
single gal i am all about that i'm appropriating too yeah talk about raising your vibe though
(20:13):
right whether you mean it from like an energetic standpoint but also just knowing what you want
allows you so much more clarity and when you know what you want it's very clear when you're
experiencing something that's not it yeah right so instead of settling for something less you're not
going to settle you're going to hold out and you're going to find something that's much more
(20:34):
appropriate and suited for you which that's what you deserve right amazing healthy deep connection
that is what we were meant for i love it you're so articulate yeah i love it and you touched on it
but it's like i feel like that's our our culture is that you're we're so conditioned to look for
your other half that's just the romantic notion and it's like you need to find somebody to make
(20:57):
you whole and it's like yeah no actually because if you're coming in two halves then we're making
then that's where the codependency yeah absolutely and then we're looking for somebody else to fill
us up and it's just yeah it gets messy but two whole people uh magic actually posted yesterday
(21:18):
something that i i say frequently and probably could shouldn't could say more often stop looking
for someone to complete you because that's like hollywood bullshit you're already whole oh sorry
sorry again um beep whatever um you know that's that's not real that's an illusion that you can
find someone to complete you because you're already whole now what you actually want to find is someone
(21:40):
who completely accepts you so stop looking for someone to complete you start looking for people
who completely accept you complete game changer all your quirks and weirdness yes because you know
what if you can't show that and it oh it drives me bonkers when i see people trying to be like oh
like i'm just gonna should i do this on my first date who should be you on your first date period
(22:04):
because why are you wasting time trying to be someone else i'll tell you what i did that i
tried that one on myself i got into a marriage after pretending and honestly thought i felt like
i had to like suck in my gut and just keep my voice the same for way too long right because
once you get in you're wearing the masks you're keeping up this facade it's really hard to break
(22:27):
out of that because then you get into this fearful place of like oh they might not accept me and
especially if the dynamic is not good in the first place it's almost like certainty this would never
fly this wouldn't be okay i can't actually be myself and i know people do this all the time
it's so tempting because we feel this deep need to to partner with someone again like i said
(22:51):
especially for women because you know until not that long ago we couldn't even get money on our
own so you know it's it's in ourselves right it's in our dna and we're still working past that but
women are rising we now have all the you know we have not everywhere in the world so you know
please universe if we can catch up the parts of the world we're lagging behind us uh that women
(23:15):
have a quality yeah and so you know let's let's move forward let's rise together let's bring our
fellow sisters with us and our brothers too of course but oh that's so beautiful sacred masculine
is vital oh yes that's true yeah it's got to be a dance right with that yeah it's got to be a dance
of the sacred masculine divine masculine and divine feminine that to me will be heaven on earth and
(23:40):
that's the world that i want to help co-create with you guys and another team at another level
it's it's possible it's it's here right now we just have to tap into that reality that that it
is here so oh my gosh christy you are such a gem i am so so happy that that we've had this conversation
anything before we we close down yes i want to thank you for your vision of the love your
(24:05):
vibe foundation like i see where you're going with this heaven on earth and being a miracle mindset
magnet like i remember when we were just starting and i'm like as if i could ever tell everybody
and a miracle magnet never mind how to mentor you to do it but it's but it's something that grows
and as we we face our shadow and we heal these layers it's it's just something that grows and
(24:26):
like you said christy like i loved how you put it that healing is is accepting everything that we are
so that we can become full and to realize we're honored to realize that's we're already whole
yeah there you go yeah words words are so tricky and that's interesting thing about the english
language is sometimes like well hold on a minute yeah we need to get in the habit of doing this
(24:47):
range of being hold on that's not exactly not become whole right we're just gonna like let's
yeah yeah exactly return to our authentic self right i mean we're co-creating a series of 11
global retreat centers that are serving the one percent because they especially need to be doing
this work consistently because they're the leaders of our world right and if they get it everyone
(25:08):
else will get it and will resolve global issues with their support and they need to realize that
um sorry there was something i was going to say there about about the people at this level and
this is my 61 year old mind that just lost it anyway it's it's important it'll come back but
um yeah so i the you were you gonna say something else i was just gonna thank you and thanking you
(25:33):
and thanking christy for being an apprentice miracle mindset mentor apprentice and it's just
such an honor to to work with you i i can see how how much you've practiced that inner work and then
it comes out of you as wisdom and that you're you're a rock star shining and i i love all
like i love all the conversations they're so juicy i don't know how how people could be like
(25:56):
meh like it just they're so useful and so juicy and so deep and i'm i'm all about going deep i'm
not really you know i'm not down for small talk and you're not a surface lady you are you're a
deep lady oh and i just thought of what i was gonna say the centers are called return to you global
retreat centers because that is what we're all doing we're returning to the wholeness of us
(26:19):
right and to help these people get that they are these whole beings they return to their authentic
self guess what they do they will heal they will develop go go to the next level because you can
only be so so much if you feel that there's anything missing and you're just showing up
(26:40):
your ego's showing up with all its mass so that you're accepted you're loved you get money you
get fame but who are you really right so this is about returning to you return to your authentic
self i am just so excited about this how great is that yeah and you're going to be serving there
christy so anybody being trained by this fabulous lady as a facilitator gets to serve at these
(27:01):
incredible places mark my words so yeah we we're doing it we are making the world a better place
you know by helping humanity become miracle magnets it's all a choice we can choose to stay
in the low vibes and be crap magnets we can choose to live as our aligned authentic fully
self-expressed selves as miracle magnets and we get to choose so that is what i believe uh and i'm
(27:25):
it's my battle cry till i die so exciting like it's extra exciting because you can't go through
this and then not want to share exactly so it creates this like ripple effect whether whether
you want to or not but you you you don't have to initially go in thinking like i'm i'm gonna do
(27:47):
this to have a certain outcome but once you experience it you can't keep it to yourself
because it's like you've unlocked the secret to having a peaceful and happy and joyful life that
really actually feels good and so of course you want everyone else everybody join me like
let's all link arms because you all deserve to feel really amazing too yeah yeah oh i love it i
(28:10):
love it and you know what we're so happy as the part of this community because we get it and we
just love on each other because there's nothing else to do but love on each other when you accept
yourself and you accept others there's nothing but love right and and you know and some people
think like this sounds kind of culty right because we're so happy but it's not because i ain't that
(28:32):
charismatic as a leader i'm okay i'm not that charismatic this ain't a cult it's just inner
awareness it's inner work and and it's you know and it's stuff that i'm gonna do till i die and
i'm so glad that i have you guys on the journey to do it with me till i die and and we get to help
co you know reveal heaven on earth because i don't say co-create anymore i say reveal because it's
(28:55):
already here it's already here so yeah see making those little adjustments right makes a difference
in perspective love it absolutely absolutely yeah so i think this is a good time to wrap up what do
you think yeah awesome i'm so grateful to skyler tv and hopeful radio for this opportunity
that we magnetized as miracles so grateful for this aligned path of the spiritual journey
(29:20):
towards mental wellness because it's needed today more than ever for people to
to heal yeah yeah amazing we have such compassion for people who are struggling and we hope that
you got a glimmer out of this so we would love to hear your feedback your questions and really
grateful for your attention today yeah awesome and will we put christy's information on how to
(29:43):
contact her in the show notes so if anybody wants to connect with you christy we'll have a way of
doing that and um we are thrilled to um uh that you filled in last minute because our guest was
sick and you came in and we're so so grateful that you were able to change your your calendar not
your calendar your your schedule today to serve this beautiful uh conversation so thank you for
(30:06):
being the amazing human that you are and uh thank you so much we'll see you next time on
the love your vibe show it's a revolution of evolution bye good night thank you
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.