September 3, 2025 ā¢ 33 mins
In this special episode of 'How Do You Divine?', we team up with Laura from 'Food Worth Forking' to explore the world of dating and food after 40. Join us for a fun-filled conversation about Laura's journey that started with bad dates and blossomed into a podcast and Instagram page celebrating food and lifestyle. We also play intriguing games like 'Smash or Pass' with some unique food combinations, and Laura shares sensual food facts that might spice up your life. Dive into this entertaining and insightful episode where we discuss dating, vulnerability, and finding joy in every interaction.
Thank you for listening and for adding new dimensions to your definitions. Keep growing, keep exploring, and keep defining life on your terms.
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Sanika is a storyteller, vibe architect, and crowd igniterāpassionate about self-discovery, culture, and the power of words. With a background in technology and marketing communications, sheās built a platform rooted in authenticity and resonance. Whether commanding the stage or leading deep conversations, Sanika doesnāt just hold spaceāshe transforms it. Her work inspires growth, challenges perspectives, and amplifies the voices that need to be heard most
As the host of How Do You Divine?, she invites listeners to redefine meaning, embrace transformation, and navigate lifeāone word at a time. Her mi...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:00):
Welcome back to How Do You Divine, and this is a
special episode because in thisepisode we are going to
collaborate and explore the wordforking with Laura.
Laura, how you doing?
Hi, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing lovely.
I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm happy to be here.
I really am.
This is great.
Thank you for having me, andthank you for saying yes for the
call.
To the collaboration.
Speaker (00:23):
Absolutely.
I, as we talked about in many,many occasions, I'm always here
for uplifting and just I, notjust uplifting, but amplifying
the creativity in our community.
Yes, yes.
And I love that you've come toFood Worth forking.
Mm-hmm.
And you brought us some segmentsthat we're gonna play with
today.
Yes.
Yes.
So before we get into yoursegments, tell me more about
(00:44):
Laura and how did you get toFood Worth forking?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So food worth forking allstarted from.
Great.
Believe it or not, a series ofbad dates.
Oh, a series of bad dates.
And I was going, you know, goingout and trying to figure out why
in the world would someone, whywould he bring me here?
Why?
And, and it started out you havehere in, you know, in New York.
(01:09):
In New York, yes.
You heard of BB Q, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So for, to me, for me, a firstdate.
As an adult to mature adult, I'mnot really feeling BB Q
Speaker (01:21):
as an a mature adult going to BBQs on the first date.
It is quite interesting.
It didn't, it's very tellingactually, of your personality
Speaker 2 (01:27):
and I, and I, and you know, it's like, mm, this wasn't
it, but, and I think it just,it's from people you know, just
not knowing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And not asking the right questions.
So it started from, um, I wouldgive out restaurant Yes.
Suggestions or places to go.
And then a friend said, youshould.
Do something with that.
'cause you're always out,you're, you know, in the
industry.
Yes.
And so one day I said, okay.
It started off as just anInstagram page and then it
(01:55):
turned into, oh, you should do apodcast.
And I was like, no, and I'mgonna do a podcast.
And then I tried it and Irealized I really enjoy it.
Nice.
So food worth forking.
Food Dating and Lifestyle after40.
Speaker (02:08):
Nice.
I love that.
And you touched on dating.
Yes.
Tell me, how has that.
How has that changed yourjourney on the podcast?
I could just imagine the storiesand experiences.
I, you know,
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I haven't been able to, no, I shouldn't say I
haven't been able to, I haven'ttalked about so much my
experiences dating.
Yeah.
But I've definitely had episodeswhere we've had, um, and it was
a series, I did a series onjust.
Series with men, a series withwomen, and we all came together
to talk about what's happeningin this dating world.
(02:45):
What are we doing?
Mm-hmm.
Where are we meeting, how are wemeeting?
Um, it's different.
It's a lot different now.
Yeah.
You know, after 40, after 45.
Yes.
Um, people are really, I mean,listen, we're set.
Always set your ways.
Set your ways, set your ways.
Have acquired things or not.
(03:08):
Yes.
And trying to navigate that.
Yes.
And um, I've, and especially Ithink after COVID or during
COVID and after COVID, peopleare.
Like stuck in their spaces.
Yes.
Like no one, you know, you notgoing out.
No one wants to move.
Yeah.
Where are you going?
So where are we going to, tomeet and to have conversations?
(03:30):
Yeah.
And what do these lists looklike?
Speaker (03:33):
Ugh.
The list.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah.
Because it changes like what youhad on your list at 20, 25, 30.
Yes.
35 is not,
Speaker (03:42):
oh, it's on your list.
The same.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Um, so it, it, the, the dating streets are
challenging, but I, you know,I'm still hopeful.
Speaker (03:49):
Yes.
I think everyone should behopeful, right?
Yeah.
I always say no one is inpursuit of e of many everyone's
in pursuit of one.
Mm-hmm.
So that's why when people tellme about their list and their,
their set ways, I'm always like,all right, without compromise,
you'll never find love andhappiness.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And people don't.
And we don't.
Um, and we actually, first ofall, you first need to be honest
with yourself.
And know exactly what you want.
Yeah.
And that shifts, but know whatyou're willing to compromise on,
what your deal breakers are.
Why spend time going on even atthis point in life?
(04:26):
Mm-hmm.
Why spend time going out with aperson more than one?
More than once?
Mm-hmm.
Um, and you already know.
This is not, this is not gonnawork
Speaker (04:38):
because not, but I also feel like as someone who's not
dating, I've been married forover a decade now.
Um, thank you.
Um, and I just feel like alsothere's so much enjoyment in the
experience.
Not every connection has adestination.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
That it's a journey.
Enjoy the journey.
So I have a lot of singlefriends that I tell them, like,
(04:59):
just enjoy the ride.
Not every interaction is abusiness negotiation.
Yes.
And I think that's kind of thedifficulties as successful black
women, we come in with thisanalytical mindset where it's
just like, Hmm, who are you andis this a worth my time?
Sometimes it's not worth yourtime, but enjoy the experience.
(05:20):
'cause everyone something.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And I think that's it.
That's key if you know likethere's lessons in it.
Yeah.
And sometimes there isn't.
It is just like, that was justreally bad.
Or that was just really good,but,
Speaker (05:30):
but then there's a story to tell, right?
Yeah, because that's what I tellthem.
I'm like, listen, you come to mewith these crazy dating stories.
I have a cocktail in my head andI am cackling.
Okay?
So you know, I always go thankyou to that man wherever you
are, because we laughed quite abitch inside and outside the
group chat.
You know what I mean?
So that still provides somelevel of joy to your life.
(05:52):
Not every interaction will be,you know what I mean?
Have an actual destination.
Sometimes it's just a good Kikifor us to refer to every now and
again.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And you never know if someone really, you know, some
people say you can't gain newfriends after a certain age, but
you never know.
Sometimes it's, it's okay tohave.
A great male friend.
Yes.
Speaker (06:16):
It's okay.
I'm, I was never a believer ofthe no new friend movement
because I feel like that'sactually limiting yourself.
Yeah.
That's just telling yourselfyou're stuck in your ways.
Yeah.
And your own comfort.
And I feel like long time agoI've learned that if I'm too
comfortable, I'm not growing.
And human beings need to knowthat.
Yeah.
You should.
You should never just be contentin being comfortable.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But I, I think that it, and that's hard.
Yeah.
That's just hard for many folks.
It's like, and it's scary andit's, and that goes into
vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
You know, that really goes into vulnerability.
So there are some moments there.
You're like, okay, can I bevulnerable?
And being like, just present.
Sometimes being present is alsoreally vulnerable for people.
Yes.
Where for, you know, someonelike you or myself, it's like,
oh, I'm all right, let me takein this, but.
For someone else, it's, they'relike, oh, it, it's scary.
(07:07):
But if you don't, what I do knowis if you don't do it, yeah.
You will be in the same spotgoing in the same circle cycles
Girl, and it, it's 10 yearslater.
Yeah.
And you're doing the same thing.
Speaker (07:21):
And then you look up and you wonder, how am I still
in the same place in 10 years?
Yeah.
And that goes back to Faith andFair.
Can't exist in the same place.
So you have to be aligned withyour faith that anything that's
make, that scares me.
Right?
Anything that makes me likepause.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe on the other side of thatis what I truly desire.
(07:41):
Yeah.
But I think as a community, weget so.
Comfortable and stuck within theparameters of our environment or
what we know and what we doevery day.
That going, I'm gonna go to amuseum Wednesday after work.
It's like, whoa, I've never beento a museum, not really into
museums.
Mm-hmm.
Like, you know what I mean?
But if it came across your mind,it was for a reason.
If you saw something onInstagram, you saw something out
(08:03):
in the world, just believe inyourself enough to make a move.
And that's where I think thedisconnect always is.
When I talk to my friends aboutdating, I'm always like, it's
less about them.
It's more about you.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's hard
Speaker (08:15):
though.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It is.
I, I, I, I kind of get it, butit's, I kind of get
Speaker (08:22):
that.
I tell all my friends andfamily, you can run away from
anybody in the world.
Anybody in the world, especiallynowadays, you can, you know, go
deep undercover.
Yeah.
You understand?
But you could never run awayfrom yourself.
I'm always here.
Girl.
So what is the point?
At this point, I'm a, I'm gonnarough it out with Sonika.
I'm gonna be, girl, we gonna goto battle.
(08:44):
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just, I'm gonna lookin the mirror and be like, now
girl.
Yeah.
It is so funny because I, I havethe conversation with myself
every day, for example.
Every single summer likeclockwork for like the last
three summers I have gained 15to 20 pounds.
Ev like this is the mostridiculous thing I have ever
seen in my life.
And my birthday is in August.
(09:05):
So it's like you stayed trim andfit the whole year.
You gotta sit, you doing yourthing.
Summertime come, it's a rooftoploop.
What?
Like yeah, it's all
Speaker 2 (09:16):
over.
You're like it's all over.
Especially in New York.
Listen, I'm like, what gym arewe going?
And you would and you will not.
Yeah, no.
That
Speaker (09:24):
I get worse with food.
I don't eat nothing but cookiesand cocktails the whole summer.
Like
Speaker 2 (09:29):
the whole summer.
They likes give you one
Speaker (09:31):
drink.
Yes.
Gimme a little ab, gimme adessert
Speaker 2 (09:33):
and a drink.
I'm good.
And, and, and not the lightskinny drinks either.
Like No.
Give the margaritas Yes, let me,skinny drinks don't waste good
Speaker 4 (09:42):
tequila on no light skinny drink.
No, no.
Speaker (09:45):
Run
Speaker 4 (09:45):
up the cocktail.
Speaker (09:46):
Yes, let's do it.
But that's what I mean.
And I have the conversation likenow, Sonika.
You know good and well, if youdon't eat protein and do some
type of cardio, yes.
Your body's gonna be like, holdon, she's never gonna feed us.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Hold every piece of calories.
She's every,
Speaker (10:03):
I know this'cause I know myself.
So I have those hardconversations with myself.
Is it always fun?
No.
But again, I know I can run fromeverybody, but yes, I
Speaker 2 (10:13):
still, but summertime is also good for, maybe this
will
Speaker (10:17):
go out for a walk.
You're still outside, girl.
I say every day I got a dog andeverything, and I love him.
We be chatting it up.
I say every morning when I'mopening up the house and I'm
quiet and it's just me and him.
I'm like, Ooh, we going for awalk.
Tre?
Yes.
We don't get out as much as
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I'm not gonna lie to, to you Laura, we don't do it as
much.
We get the cackling, we on thephone, we in the meeting,
Speaker (10:40):
we get the doing
Speaker 4 (10:40):
stuff and then it's the end of the night and I look
in the backyard and I say, youwanna sit back there?
Have a cocktail, Trev, come on,let's little, let's watch a
little divorce assistance andyou know, watch a little
cocktail in the backyard, not awalk.
Okay, so I'm not even gonna lieto yourself.
So tell us about these
Speaker (10:54):
segments for food worth working well.
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Um, I brought today a couple of segments Yes.
That Don do.
So let's talk about sensual foodfact.
Mm-hmm.
So my whole thing about this isjust talking about foods or
herbs that help the libidomm-hmm.
And also help other things.
Really, you know, it's, it'sabout, you know,
Speaker (11:20):
swinging off the chandelier is what you're
saying.
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Just possibly.
Possibly.
You said yes.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
A chandelier is meant to be reinforced.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yes.
Just, yes.
So today we're gonna talk abouttribulus.
Tribulus is a, an herb.
Mm-hmm.
It's an ancient herb.
Mediterranean.
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
An Asian herb, and so you couldput it in your, I guess you
could put it in a smoothie.
(11:49):
You can make a tea, an herbaltea with it.
Mm-hmm.
I will say, you know, disclaimeryes to please, um, consult your,
with this one.
Please consult your physician.
Um, before taking it andindulging, because you're only
supposed to take it for about 90days.
Mm.
And then you're supposed to stoptaking it, but I don't know how
(12:09):
long you're supposed to stoptaking it, but you know, it's
something that you can try, youknow, a couple times a week.
Yes.
See if you wanna, how
Speaker (12:18):
you know if you wanna be on a swing and whatnot, if
you know a try, look.
But, you know, that'sinteresting because it makes me
think of alkaline water.
People often feel like alkalinewater is actually really good
for your body and your pHbalance.
Yes.
Do that, but it actually is notsomething that you can drink
every single day.
True.
It can make you sick.
Yes.
So it is something that you needto track yourself.
(12:38):
Mm-hmm.
In saying like, I will havealkaline water every other
Monday or something like that,or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
I'm nobody, doctor, talk to youryour doctor.
Yes.
Talk
Speaker 4 (12:47):
to your pediatrician.
Yes.
Um, but.
Speaker (12:51):
Yeah, but it's not something you're supposed to
have regularly as like you, youknow, we consume like a gallon
of water a day.
That's, I actually love water.
This is my favorite food.
Um, yeah, I drink over a gallonof water a day.
Really?
I love water.
That's part of the problem.
Why I don't love food enough.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Right,
Speaker (13:06):
because I, I can live off the three Cs girl cakes,
cookies, and cocktails.
That's it.
That's all I need in life.
All I need in this life, I loveit.
I think I might
Speaker 2 (13:15):
be a part of that tribe.
Speaker (13:16):
Listen, and the problem is my body, especially after
having two kids, is like, ma'am,if you don't start and end with
protein.
We are just going to, we like,we, we're just not gonna do it.
We're just not gonna work foryou.
Mm-hmm.
You're, you're just gonna behollow.
How, literally saying you willhave no energy.
We gonna start taking your braincells if you don't start eating
(13:37):
a piece of chicken.
So I'm sorry I to eat moredrinking, but I love water so
that's kind of why I am also notThat's amazing.
Always hungry.
'cause I drink a lot.
That's why you have that greatskin.
I see you.
Thanks gr.
Yeah.
I always tell people actuallythat is the key to grits.
Good.
A lot of water.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't, you know, thepeople are like, I have a 10
step facial routine.
I do not, yeah.
(13:58):
I drink a lot of water andprobably have like three things
that I use all the time.
Nuts.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Pretty much the same.
Speaker (14:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah.
It's water, not on the water.
I mean, I drink water, but thatI'm, I'm trying to, to get to
where you are with the waterthing, but I only, my, um, skin
regimen is, um, definitelyminimal.
Speaker (14:15):
Yes.
I'm telling you, the water, Ialways feel like, and water
always helps in terms of likeyour health.
It keeps your body flowing.
I'm telling you, I've had somany different health, like
checkups and stuff like that.
Yeah.
And my doc, my doctor was alwayslike, you're freaking great when
it comes to the water.
Now, this protein level.
We gotta do something about thisprotein levels.
So there's always that.
(14:37):
So I hear there's another game.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Alright, so smash or pass?
Mm-hmm.
Um.
You know, foods that I havefound that I would be like,
would you really eat this?
I would.
I would smash this.
I would smash it or I would not,and I have, so you can decide
(15:05):
I'm a good, you're gonna smashor are you going to.
Pass.
I love this.
Mm-hmm.
You know
Speaker (15:13):
I love me a good little prop now girl.
I'm here for the theatrical andall times and all times.
Alright, so you gonna tell thisthe food?
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So the first up, first one up is, This is a deep
fried, Milky Way.
What?
So there's a light batter,right?
Mm-hmm.
Which is deep fried.
Never heard of it.
Speaker (15:36):
I'm gonna, we're pass.
I'm gonna pass because you'regonna pass.
What in the big back behavior isthis?
Like this?
I'm not gonna lie, I would tryit.
She said I
Speaker 2 (15:47):
would
Speaker (15:47):
try it.
She said you.
I will not.
I will not.
Yes.
I just feel like this reminds meof Carnival Crazy.
Yes.
When I go into carnivals andthey're like, deep fried Oreo,
deep fried this, I'm like, wait,have you ever had a deep fried
Oreo?
No, I have not.
You wanna know why I It isamazing.
No.
No.
Yes.
I, I refuse.
I, oh, I gotta give you somedeep fried ORs.
Listen, this is the, look.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I'll let you pass on the, the Milky Way.
The fried, Milky way you couldpass.
But that deep fried Oreo, I needto, that'll change.
Change your life.
Listen, it'll change it.
I don't
Speaker (16:16):
know.
It'll change it.
I don't know.
So what
Speaker 2 (16:18):
is this?
Okay, so next step is, this isa, this is fried green Tomatoes,
right?
So you have fried greentomatoes, smoked guta, pimento
cheese.
Ooh, um, olive oil, BIC.
Onion jam, which is really good,surprisingly for me.
Um, crumbled sausage, scrambledeggs.
(16:39):
Ah,
Speaker (16:41):
I'm, it's interesting.
It's because it's interesting.
I might smash, I'm not gonna lieout of, out of Sure.
Intrigue.
Will I finish it?
Probably not.
I will do a three, three spoon,you know, three, four situation.
Right.
And then you might, then youmight decide, then I decide,
then I might, because anythingdeep fried, I'm not gonna lie,
makes me go Why?
(17:02):
I don't know.
I love me a good fried chicken,like the next grill.
Mm-hmm.
But anything outside of like afried chicken, why we de frying
it?
I think it's to my Caribbean
Speaker 4 (17:11):
roots.
I'd just be like, why?
We afraid, like I'm like fried,fried.
Why are we frying all thesethings.
You ever
Speaker 2 (17:21):
had Frank Green tomatoes?
Speaker (17:22):
No.
Look, she said, you are missingout on
Speaker 2 (17:27):
life.
Speaker (17:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
All right.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna explore,
Speaker 2 (17:30):
and I might even let you take the rest of off, but to
have at least to try a friedgreen tomatoes, one for one.
I love tomatoes.
Listen and go is my favoritecheese.
Yeah.
And I, I do, but the fried greentomato.
Speaker (17:41):
So of all the fried things, which one's your
favorite In Just, in all of theweird fried things.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Probably.
See, I don't think it's weird,but that might be because I'm,
that's, that's what I up do's.
I grew.
I'm food and fork.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's what I've known.
Yes.
Like I grew up on tomatoes andfried green tomatoes, so
probably actually fried pickles.
Speaker (18:07):
Wow.
Yeah.
Didn't even know they fried apickle.
But good to Really No girl.
I don't.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh yeah.
So if I had to choose between
Speaker (18:15):
get to more southern cuisines, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah.
If I had to choose between thoseyou said that are kind of
interesting.
Oh, I will eat, uh, fried, um,fried pickles all day.
Speaker (18:26):
Oh,
Speaker 2 (18:26):
interesting.
Speaker (18:26):
Listen, we, we gonna have to, we have to do all the
restaurant tour.
Yeah, we do the restaurant tour.
Uh, okay.
What's this next one?
So this
Speaker 2 (18:32):
one is a little clip, so let's, let's check it out.
Speaker (18:38):
It's a GLIs berry season.
Yes.
That.
Is this a strawberry?
What's on the inside?
(18:58):
They put a hole in thestrawberry.
Looks a little, you know, I knowthat.
I know damn well that's not agoddamn hot dog.
Did they put a hot dog in thestrawberry?
Did they?
And okay, what race is it?
What is that?
Mayonnaise and hot dogs with astrawberry now.
(19:24):
Wait the hell on here.
This is called a GLIs berry.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, it looks accurate.
It, it looks a GLIs berry and I.
Just said it was wrong and Iwas, I'm gonna pass on, I'm
gonna,
Speaker (19:38):
I'm not just only gonna pass on it.
I'm also calling the authoritiesbecause that hot dog was white.
So it tells me it's not evencooked.
What is happening?
No, what?
I
Speaker 2 (19:48):
didn't, I've totally forgot about that.
I really totally forgot aboutit.
Extra.
It's extra.
It's extra past.
I mean, it's like, let's noteven.
Speaker (19:59):
Like, and why?
Why did you even think that ahot dog and a strawberry should
be together?
And then the insult ofmayonnaise.
But then I immediately thought,what?
Then?
You
Speaker 2 (20:07):
thought it you.
But then he also put grahamcracker crumbs on top.
Speaker (20:12):
Because why?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Because the strawberry, you know, the sweet,
salty, maybe, I don't know.
It's not the hot dog, the male,I don't know.
But.
We passed.
We we've definitely passed onthat.
Speaker (20:23):
Thank you.
I love this.
This was a great segment and acute segment also tells me I
need to open up my palette whenit comes to food clearly.
Outside of the, you know, GLIsberry.
'cause ain't no way.
Yeah.
Ain't no way.
I don't want
Speaker 2 (20:35):
you to do a GLIs berry.
I'm not gonna do a GLIs berry,so I wouldn't do it to you.
Speaker (20:37):
Oh my gosh, I love this.
Thank you so much for bringingthese cool, fun segments to the
show.
This was lovely, but I wannahear more about Laura and food
for Forking Food DatingLifestyle.
So, going through your datingjourney, what has it taught you?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Uh oh.
Hmm hmm.
Oh my gosh.
Um, that I'm okay.
Mm-hmm.
And where I am, I'm in a goodspace, I'm ready.
Um, more relaxed.
Yeah.
Like, it's not like, okay, letme think.
(21:14):
And all these things, they'relike, all right, this is where I
am and I have a lot to offer.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Um, who is he and on this journey of doing it.
Um, working on, you know, wetalked about vulnerability Yes.
And what that means, and beingcomfortable in that, in that
space and getting morecomfortable in that space.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think it's, um,something that, you know, just,
at least for me, um, I'm gettingbetter at it.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I'm getting better at it and exploring, like just be
you.
Show up if it works.
Great.
We don't ha And actually the,and really more for those first
dates, they don't have to be afive star dinner or a trip.
'cause I've been hearing thesestories and I'm like, no, it
doesn't have to be that it, itcould totally be coffee, it
(22:05):
could totally be meeting for adrink.
Why would I, I mean, again, thisis me.
I don't have an interest insitting and having a full meal
with someone and I already knowlike it.
10 minutes in possibly orshortly in that this is, this is
not gonna work.
Yeah.
We don't, we don't have aconversation.
(22:26):
So that, and
Speaker (22:27):
also I feel like the more, I don't know, theatrics is
not the right word, but the moreelaborate the first date is
mm-hmm.
In my perspective, the more itsteals away from authentic
connection.
I think when you meet someone togo grab a cup of coffee or, Hey,
I'm in this area, you wanna walkwith me until I get to the
(22:49):
train, or wherever it, it kindof puts us in a situation where
we're natural, we're in our ownelement, and we could just talk
and learn about each other.
Versus I'm gonna make areservation at Nobu and you meet
me here and you don't know whatshould I wear and how do I
present myself and maybe this ismy first time.
So then it becomes more aboutthe cuisine, the outfit, and all
these other things.
(23:09):
Yeah.
So by halfway into the dinneryou realize like, this person is
actually not comfortable.
They all tight and whatnot.
They looking around'cause theyfeel like this, the first time
I'm here or I've gone here,like, this is place, this is
actually not a, a good place fora first date.
Yeah.
So it becomes everything but.
The person you're sitting acrossfrom.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah.
And show up, um, with someinterest, not complaining when
you walk in the door, or ifexample, um, the data set for a,
let's say the data set for abrunch, right?
Two o'clock.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
And you call me and you at one 30, I'm here and it's
hot.
Well, okay.
Okay.
Um, I'll see you at at two, butI'll be sure to be there.
But walk around like there'splenty of places.
It's a great, you
Speaker (24:07):
know, you know, neighborhood immediately makes
me think I'm not gonna
Speaker 2 (24:10):
show up.
No, no.
Speaker (24:14):
Well, maybe, but also that person is not comfortable.
That That's what I, oh, yeah.
It immediately makes me, I havealways felt like I could feel
people better than I can seethem.
Mm-hmm.
And that hearing someone show upto a date 30 minutes early to
call the person and say, tellthem about the temperature, and
(24:35):
show some sense of discomfort.
You're uncomfortable with your.
Or with the environment, youdon't know.
I just, yes.
I would just go, because I don'tthink I thought about that one
exactly in that, in that, inthat way.
I was like,
Speaker 2 (24:48):
oh, oh.
I'm like, what is wrong?
So to me,
Speaker (24:50):
and also we are people of community and, and tribe,
right?
We were never meant to be aloneand by ourselves.
That's why COVID really shook usup.
Human beings weren't meant to bealone.
Mm-hmm.
So you calling me 30 minutesbefore you supposed to be
somewhere telling me about theweather.
All I hear is comfort me throughthis until you get here.
That's what I hear whensomebody, Hmm, that's what I
(25:12):
hear.
That's a good perspectivebecause I, I, I feel people
better than I can see them.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Okay.
Speaker (25:19):
So, and I would just be like, oh, what makes it hot?
Do you think?
Do they have ac and start askingthem questions because it just
shows me that they're used to.
Some level of not dependency.
'cause there's a thin line oflike being codependent on
someone for your own feelings orjust, is this a safe place for
me to land?
Can I say to you it's hot andI'm early and you know, is this
(25:41):
a safe place for me to land?
Mm-hmm.
So that's what I would go, isthere ac.
Is it a lot of people is thewindows open?
So I would give them back, youknow, I would say a little
tennis match.
I give them back the ball tofigure out what's making them
uncomfortable.
What makes you say it's hot?
What's, why are you there early?
And then through thatexpiration, they're gonna be
like, oh, well yeah, I don'teven know if they ACS here.
(26:02):
Well, you know what, I'm hereearly.
Let me actually walk around thatlike.
Sometimes it's not.
I always say we all have giftsand great talents and strengths
in different areas.
Mm-hmm.
Some people just don't know howto open up themselves.
Like so just bat it back to themin a way that show them like,
Hey, you're early.
It's hot.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
It's okay.
It's all
Speaker (26:21):
right.
Is the AC on?
Is it too much people in there?
And then you give them somethingto refocus their energy on.
So it could be like, oh, the ACis on, but the place is really
packed in here and I'm not.
Then my response is like, Ooh,is it dates?
Is it friends?
What's going on?
And then you give me somethingback and I'm like, oh, I can't
wait to see you.
Gimme a few minutes.
I'm still wrapping up.
I'm on my way there.
Then in that same moment, Icomforted you through whatever
(26:45):
made you get there 30 minutesearly and call me.
You know what I mean?
But then also provided a safeplace for you to land so that
when I do see you at twoo'clock,
Speaker 2 (26:57):
you don't feel awkward because you, we are not
angry or you're not.
That was.
You know what?
That was good.
That was really good, because Ididn't take it that way.
Not that I was rude.
Mm-hmm.
But I was like, okay, we'll walkaround.
I either go outside.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I'll see you shortly,because we tend to wanna fix it
(27:21):
for people rather than allowingthem to fix it themselves.
And I didn't.
That's what
Speaker (27:24):
you wanted.
You provided a solution.
No one asked for a solution.
They just asked for an ear.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Oh.
See, I didn't take it that wayat all.
See, that was good.
See, girl, I try.
Mm-hmm.
I try every now and then.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to remember that.
Speaker (27:38):
Yes.
Just every, I feel like that's a
Speaker 2 (27:40):
pause.
That's a beat.
That's a beat.
Speaker (27:41):
Take a take a beat and pause.
Take a beat.
And remember that for a beat.
Yes.
Right.
And just remember that.
Mm-hmm.
Everyone's looking for a softplace to land.
Yeah.
And not like it's easy to knowwhen someone's trying to take
advantage of you or you know,trying to manipulate you, but on
the initial pass, someone'strying to find a soft place to
land, especially if we're aboutto meet up.
Nobody wants to waste theirtime.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker (28:01):
But if I'm uncomfortable and don't know
what to do.
It makes you don't know whatother people are going through.
So for all you know, in hisdating experience, he's been
told you need to share yourfeelings more.
If you feel uncomfortable, sayyou feel uncomfortable, then
mm-hmm.
Instead of like sitting downcrouching and doing all these
things, you make people feel away.
So on his journey, maybe it was,I need to communicate more of my
(28:22):
feelings, so let me justcommunicate this.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Okay.
Speaker (28:26):
Do you see what I mean?
Like it gives everyone's journeya place to kind of exist without
the judgment.
I think just, I feel like asblack women, we are solutions
oriented.
So somebody comes to me with,girl, I can't find a parking, I
don't, this guy is da da da.
We like, here's a solution.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,bam, bam.
And sometimes we're not lookingfor solutions.
We're just looking for a ear.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, but he looks prettygrumpy though, I will say.
Although, mm-hmm.
That for the future, Uhhuh, Iwas like, oh, that's.
That's a good one.
Yes.
But it was, it was challenging.
Yes.
Afternoon,
Speaker (29:00):
not, it was a challenge, but, but I would
explore that.
Right?
Yeah.
So I, as someone who I, like Isaid, I haven't dated in
forever.
Right.
But I always feel like if your,to me, energy is everything.
That's why I love doing instudio interviews.
Mm-hmm.
Energy is everything.
If I feel like your energy isoff, or you're grumpy, or
whatever the situation is, andit doesn't have to be a dating
situation, we could just benetworking or connected.
(29:20):
I'm, I'm a straight shooter.
Was all, you had a, you had arough week.
What's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Partner you, you here, but youfeel like you ain't wanna be
here.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yes.
Speaker (29:30):
Should we walk you to the train, like we can walk out
over there and duck on the way?
Yes.
We ain't gotta waste thesepeople good food now, but again,
I'm, that's'cause Sonika is astraight shooter and I always
say that I don't expect peopleto be as straight as me.
Yeah.
So sometime that's.
I'm gonna be grumpy until sheeither asks me what's going on
or she gonna ignore that I'mgrumpy or like, oh yeah, no.
(29:53):
Do you see what I'm saying?
But don't do that then, buteverybody needs something.
Yeah.
We're communal people.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
But it's also the de that delivery that like, okay,
let, let's, how I took that alsois take, taking some checks,
like, mm-hmm.
Let me check that off.
What's going on in there?
Yeah, check.
Everything's fine.
Okay.
This and check'em off, and thenmaybe that'll calm the person
down.
Speaker (30:17):
Yeah.
Or not.
Or explore why.
Yeah.
Just, I always say the bestthing we can do for each other
is ask y.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:24):
And don't ex don't be committed to the outcome.
Yeah.
Right.
Yes.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
You, this was such a fun, uniqueepisode.
This was great.
It wasn't it, it was.
See, and we will continue and wewill do it again.
Yes.
Thank you.
I'm looking forward to it.
Awesome.
For sure.
All right.
Yay.
And this is another episode ofHow Do You Divine Forking A
(30:46):
Collab People
Welcome back to How Do You Divine, and this is a
special episode because in thisepisode we are going to
collaborate and explore the wordforking with Laura.
Laura, how you doing?
Hi, how are you?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing lovely.
I'm so happy to have you here.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
I'm happy to be here.
I really am.
This is great.
Thank you for having me, andthank you for saying yes for the
call.
To the collaboration.
Speaker (00:23):
Absolutely.
I, as we talked about in many,many occasions, I'm always here
for uplifting and just I, notjust uplifting, but amplifying
the creativity in our community.
Yes, yes.
And I love that you've come toFood Worth forking.
Mm-hmm.
And you brought us some segmentsthat we're gonna play with
today.
Yes.
Yes.
So before we get into yoursegments, tell me more about
(00:44):
Laura and how did you get toFood Worth forking?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So food worth forking allstarted from.
Great.
Believe it or not, a series ofbad dates.
Oh, a series of bad dates.
And I was going, you know, goingout and trying to figure out why
in the world would someone, whywould he bring me here?
Why?
And, and it started out you havehere in, you know, in New York.
(01:09):
In New York, yes.
You heard of BB Q, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So for, to me, for me, a firstdate.
As an adult to mature adult, I'mnot really feeling BB Q
Speaker (01:21):
as an a mature adult going to BBQs on the first date.
It is quite interesting.
It didn't, it's very tellingactually, of your personality
Speaker 2 (01:27):
and I, and I, and you know, it's like, mm, this wasn't
it, but, and I think it just,it's from people you know, just
not knowing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
And not asking the right questions.
So it started from, um, I wouldgive out restaurant Yes.
Suggestions or places to go.
And then a friend said, youshould.
Do something with that.
'cause you're always out,you're, you know, in the
industry.
Yes.
And so one day I said, okay.
It started off as just anInstagram page and then it
(01:55):
turned into, oh, you should do apodcast.
And I was like, no, and I'mgonna do a podcast.
And then I tried it and Irealized I really enjoy it.
Nice.
So food worth forking.
Food Dating and Lifestyle after40.
Speaker (02:08):
Nice.
I love that.
And you touched on dating.
Yes.
Tell me, how has that.
How has that changed yourjourney on the podcast?
I could just imagine the storiesand experiences.
I, you know,
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I haven't been able to, no, I shouldn't say I
haven't been able to, I haven'ttalked about so much my
experiences dating.
Yeah.
But I've definitely had episodeswhere we've had, um, and it was
a series, I did a series onjust.
Series with men, a series withwomen, and we all came together
to talk about what's happeningin this dating world.
(02:45):
What are we doing?
Mm-hmm.
Where are we meeting, how are wemeeting?
Um, it's different.
It's a lot different now.
Yeah.
You know, after 40, after 45.
Yes.
Um, people are really, I mean,listen, we're set.
Always set your ways.
Set your ways, set your ways.
Have acquired things or not.
(03:08):
Yes.
And trying to navigate that.
Yes.
And um, I've, and especially Ithink after COVID or during
COVID and after COVID, peopleare.
Like stuck in their spaces.
Yes.
Like no one, you know, you notgoing out.
No one wants to move.
Yeah.
Where are you going?
So where are we going to, tomeet and to have conversations?
(03:30):
Yeah.
And what do these lists looklike?
Speaker (03:33):
Ugh.
The list.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah.
Because it changes like what youhad on your list at 20, 25, 30.
Yes.
35 is not,
Speaker (03:42):
oh, it's on your list.
The same.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Um, so it, it, the, the dating streets are
challenging, but I, you know,I'm still hopeful.
Speaker (03:49):
Yes.
I think everyone should behopeful, right?
Yeah.
I always say no one is inpursuit of e of many everyone's
in pursuit of one.
Mm-hmm.
So that's why when people tellme about their list and their,
their set ways, I'm always like,all right, without compromise,
you'll never find love andhappiness.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
And people don't.
And we don't.
Um, and we actually, first ofall, you first need to be honest
with yourself.
And know exactly what you want.
Yeah.
And that shifts, but know whatyou're willing to compromise on,
what your deal breakers are.
Why spend time going on even atthis point in life?
(04:26):
Mm-hmm.
Why spend time going out with aperson more than one?
More than once?
Mm-hmm.
Um, and you already know.
This is not, this is not gonnawork
Speaker (04:38):
because not, but I also feel like as someone who's not
dating, I've been married forover a decade now.
Um, thank you.
Um, and I just feel like alsothere's so much enjoyment in the
experience.
Not every connection has adestination.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
That it's a journey.
Enjoy the journey.
So I have a lot of singlefriends that I tell them, like,
(04:59):
just enjoy the ride.
Not every interaction is abusiness negotiation.
Yes.
And I think that's kind of thedifficulties as successful black
women, we come in with thisanalytical mindset where it's
just like, Hmm, who are you andis this a worth my time?
Sometimes it's not worth yourtime, but enjoy the experience.
(05:20):
'cause everyone something.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
And I think that's it.
That's key if you know likethere's lessons in it.
Yeah.
And sometimes there isn't.
It is just like, that was justreally bad.
Or that was just really good,but,
Speaker (05:30):
but then there's a story to tell, right?
Yeah, because that's what I tellthem.
I'm like, listen, you come to mewith these crazy dating stories.
I have a cocktail in my head andI am cackling.
Okay?
So you know, I always go thankyou to that man wherever you
are, because we laughed quite abitch inside and outside the
group chat.
You know what I mean?
So that still provides somelevel of joy to your life.
(05:52):
Not every interaction will be,you know what I mean?
Have an actual destination.
Sometimes it's just a good Kikifor us to refer to every now and
again.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
And you never know if someone really, you know, some
people say you can't gain newfriends after a certain age, but
you never know.
Sometimes it's, it's okay tohave.
A great male friend.
Yes.
Speaker (06:16):
It's okay.
I'm, I was never a believer ofthe no new friend movement
because I feel like that'sactually limiting yourself.
Yeah.
That's just telling yourselfyou're stuck in your ways.
Yeah.
And your own comfort.
And I feel like long time agoI've learned that if I'm too
comfortable, I'm not growing.
And human beings need to knowthat.
Yeah.
You should.
You should never just be contentin being comfortable.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But I, I think that it, and that's hard.
Yeah.
That's just hard for many folks.
It's like, and it's scary andit's, and that goes into
vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
You know, that really goes into vulnerability.
So there are some moments there.
You're like, okay, can I bevulnerable?
And being like, just present.
Sometimes being present is alsoreally vulnerable for people.
Yes.
Where for, you know, someonelike you or myself, it's like,
oh, I'm all right, let me takein this, but.
For someone else, it's, they'relike, oh, it, it's scary.
(07:07):
But if you don't, what I do knowis if you don't do it, yeah.
You will be in the same spotgoing in the same circle cycles
Girl, and it, it's 10 yearslater.
Yeah.
And you're doing the same thing.
Speaker (07:21):
And then you look up and you wonder, how am I still
in the same place in 10 years?
Yeah.
And that goes back to Faith andFair.
Can't exist in the same place.
So you have to be aligned withyour faith that anything that's
make, that scares me.
Right?
Anything that makes me likepause.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe on the other side of thatis what I truly desire.
(07:41):
Yeah.
But I think as a community, weget so.
Comfortable and stuck within theparameters of our environment or
what we know and what we doevery day.
That going, I'm gonna go to amuseum Wednesday after work.
It's like, whoa, I've never beento a museum, not really into
museums.
Mm-hmm.
Like, you know what I mean?
But if it came across your mind,it was for a reason.
If you saw something onInstagram, you saw something out
(08:03):
in the world, just believe inyourself enough to make a move.
And that's where I think thedisconnect always is.
When I talk to my friends aboutdating, I'm always like, it's
less about them.
It's more about you.
Speaker 2 (08:15):
That's hard
Speaker (08:15):
though.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It is.
I, I, I, I kind of get it, butit's, I kind of get
Speaker (08:22):
that.
I tell all my friends andfamily, you can run away from
anybody in the world.
Anybody in the world, especiallynowadays, you can, you know, go
deep undercover.
Yeah.
You understand?
But you could never run awayfrom yourself.
I'm always here.
Girl.
So what is the point?
At this point, I'm a, I'm gonnarough it out with Sonika.
I'm gonna be, girl, we gonna goto battle.
(08:44):
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm just, I'm gonna lookin the mirror and be like, now
girl.
Yeah.
It is so funny because I, I havethe conversation with myself
every day, for example.
Every single summer likeclockwork for like the last
three summers I have gained 15to 20 pounds.
Ev like this is the mostridiculous thing I have ever
seen in my life.
And my birthday is in August.
(09:05):
So it's like you stayed trim andfit the whole year.
You gotta sit, you doing yourthing.
Summertime come, it's a rooftoploop.
What?
Like yeah, it's all
Speaker 2 (09:16):
over.
You're like it's all over.
Especially in New York.
Listen, I'm like, what gym arewe going?
And you would and you will not.
Yeah, no.
That
Speaker (09:24):
I get worse with food.
I don't eat nothing but cookiesand cocktails the whole summer.
Like
Speaker 2 (09:29):
the whole summer.
They likes give you one
Speaker (09:31):
drink.
Yes.
Gimme a little ab, gimme adessert
Speaker 2 (09:33):
and a drink.
I'm good.
And, and, and not the lightskinny drinks either.
Like No.
Give the margaritas Yes, let me,skinny drinks don't waste good
Speaker 4 (09:42):
tequila on no light skinny drink.
No, no.
Speaker (09:45):
Run
Speaker 4 (09:45):
up the cocktail.
Speaker (09:46):
Yes, let's do it.
But that's what I mean.
And I have the conversation likenow, Sonika.
You know good and well, if youdon't eat protein and do some
type of cardio, yes.
Your body's gonna be like, holdon, she's never gonna feed us.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Hold every piece of calories.
She's every,
Speaker (10:03):
I know this'cause I know myself.
So I have those hardconversations with myself.
Is it always fun?
No.
But again, I know I can run fromeverybody, but yes, I
Speaker 2 (10:13):
still, but summertime is also good for, maybe this
will
Speaker (10:17):
go out for a walk.
You're still outside, girl.
I say every day I got a dog andeverything, and I love him.
We be chatting it up.
I say every morning when I'mopening up the house and I'm
quiet and it's just me and him.
I'm like, Ooh, we going for awalk.
Tre?
Yes.
We don't get out as much as
Speaker 4 (10:32):
I'm not gonna lie to, to you Laura, we don't do it as
much.
We get the cackling, we on thephone, we in the meeting,
Speaker (10:40):
we get the doing
Speaker 4 (10:40):
stuff and then it's the end of the night and I look
in the backyard and I say, youwanna sit back there?
Have a cocktail, Trev, come on,let's little, let's watch a
little divorce assistance andyou know, watch a little
cocktail in the backyard, not awalk.
Okay, so I'm not even gonna lieto yourself.
So tell us about these
Speaker (10:54):
segments for food worth working well.
Let's see.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Um, I brought today a couple of segments Yes.
That Don do.
So let's talk about sensual foodfact.
Mm-hmm.
So my whole thing about this isjust talking about foods or
herbs that help the libidomm-hmm.
And also help other things.
Really, you know, it's, it'sabout, you know,
Speaker (11:20):
swinging off the chandelier is what you're
saying.
A little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Just possibly.
Possibly.
You said yes.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
A chandelier is meant to be reinforced.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Yes.
Just, yes.
So today we're gonna talk abouttribulus.
Tribulus is a, an herb.
Mm-hmm.
It's an ancient herb.
Mediterranean.
Mm-hmm.
And, um.
An Asian herb, and so you couldput it in your, I guess you
could put it in a smoothie.
(11:49):
You can make a tea, an herbaltea with it.
Mm-hmm.
I will say, you know, disclaimeryes to please, um, consult your,
with this one.
Please consult your physician.
Um, before taking it andindulging, because you're only
supposed to take it for about 90days.
Mm.
And then you're supposed to stoptaking it, but I don't know how
(12:09):
long you're supposed to stoptaking it, but you know, it's
something that you can try, youknow, a couple times a week.
Yes.
See if you wanna, how
Speaker (12:18):
you know if you wanna be on a swing and whatnot, if
you know a try, look.
But, you know, that'sinteresting because it makes me
think of alkaline water.
People often feel like alkalinewater is actually really good
for your body and your pHbalance.
Yes.
Do that, but it actually is notsomething that you can drink
every single day.
True.
It can make you sick.
Yes.
So it is something that you needto track yourself.
(12:38):
Mm-hmm.
In saying like, I will havealkaline water every other
Monday or something like that,or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.
I'm nobody, doctor, talk to youryour doctor.
Yes.
Talk
Speaker 4 (12:47):
to your pediatrician.
Yes.
Um, but.
Speaker (12:51):
Yeah, but it's not something you're supposed to
have regularly as like you, youknow, we consume like a gallon
of water a day.
That's, I actually love water.
This is my favorite food.
Um, yeah, I drink over a gallonof water a day.
Really?
I love water.
That's part of the problem.
Why I don't love food enough.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Right,
Speaker (13:06):
because I, I can live off the three Cs girl cakes,
cookies, and cocktails.
That's it.
That's all I need in life.
All I need in this life, I loveit.
I think I might
Speaker 2 (13:15):
be a part of that tribe.
Speaker (13:16):
Listen, and the problem is my body, especially after
having two kids, is like, ma'am,if you don't start and end with
protein.
We are just going to, we like,we, we're just not gonna do it.
We're just not gonna work foryou.
Mm-hmm.
You're, you're just gonna behollow.
How, literally saying you willhave no energy.
We gonna start taking your braincells if you don't start eating
(13:37):
a piece of chicken.
So I'm sorry I to eat moredrinking, but I love water so
that's kind of why I am also notThat's amazing.
Always hungry.
'cause I drink a lot.
That's why you have that greatskin.
I see you.
Thanks gr.
Yeah.
I always tell people actuallythat is the key to grits.
Good.
A lot of water.
Yeah.
I don't, I don't, you know, thepeople are like, I have a 10
step facial routine.
I do not, yeah.
(13:58):
I drink a lot of water andprobably have like three things
that I use all the time.
Nuts.
Speaker 2 (14:03):
Pretty much the same.
Speaker (14:04):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah.
It's water, not on the water.
I mean, I drink water, but thatI'm, I'm trying to, to get to
where you are with the waterthing, but I only, my, um, skin
regimen is, um, definitelyminimal.
Speaker (14:15):
Yes.
I'm telling you, the water, Ialways feel like, and water
always helps in terms of likeyour health.
It keeps your body flowing.
I'm telling you, I've had somany different health, like
checkups and stuff like that.
Yeah.
And my doc, my doctor was alwayslike, you're freaking great when
it comes to the water.
Now, this protein level.
We gotta do something about thisprotein levels.
So there's always that.
(14:37):
So I hear there's another game.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Alright, so smash or pass?
Mm-hmm.
Um.
You know, foods that I havefound that I would be like,
would you really eat this?
I would.
I would smash this.
I would smash it or I would not,and I have, so you can decide
(15:05):
I'm a good, you're gonna smashor are you going to.
Pass.
I love this.
Mm-hmm.
You know
Speaker (15:13):
I love me a good little prop now girl.
I'm here for the theatrical andall times and all times.
Alright, so you gonna tell thisthe food?
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So the first up, first one up is, This is a deep
fried, Milky Way.
What?
So there's a light batter,right?
Mm-hmm.
Which is deep fried.
Never heard of it.
Speaker (15:36):
I'm gonna, we're pass.
I'm gonna pass because you'regonna pass.
What in the big back behavior isthis?
Like this?
I'm not gonna lie, I would tryit.
She said I
Speaker 2 (15:47):
would
Speaker (15:47):
try it.
She said you.
I will not.
I will not.
Yes.
I just feel like this reminds meof Carnival Crazy.
Yes.
When I go into carnivals andthey're like, deep fried Oreo,
deep fried this, I'm like, wait,have you ever had a deep fried
Oreo?
No, I have not.
You wanna know why I It isamazing.
No.
No.
Yes.
I, I refuse.
I, oh, I gotta give you somedeep fried ORs.
Listen, this is the, look.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I'll let you pass on the, the Milky Way.
The fried, Milky way you couldpass.
But that deep fried Oreo, I needto, that'll change.
Change your life.
Listen, it'll change it.
I don't
Speaker (16:16):
know.
It'll change it.
I don't know.
So what
Speaker 2 (16:18):
is this?
Okay, so next step is, this isa, this is fried green Tomatoes,
right?
So you have fried greentomatoes, smoked guta, pimento
cheese.
Ooh, um, olive oil, BIC.
Onion jam, which is really good,surprisingly for me.
Um, crumbled sausage, scrambledeggs.
(16:39):
Ah,
Speaker (16:41):
I'm, it's interesting.
It's because it's interesting.
I might smash, I'm not gonna lieout of, out of Sure.
Intrigue.
Will I finish it?
Probably not.
I will do a three, three spoon,you know, three, four situation.
Right.
And then you might, then youmight decide, then I decide,
then I might, because anythingdeep fried, I'm not gonna lie,
makes me go Why?
(17:02):
I don't know.
I love me a good fried chicken,like the next grill.
Mm-hmm.
But anything outside of like afried chicken, why we de frying
it?
I think it's to my Caribbean
Speaker 4 (17:11):
roots.
I'd just be like, why?
We afraid, like I'm like fried,fried.
Why are we frying all thesethings.
You ever
Speaker 2 (17:21):
had Frank Green tomatoes?
Speaker (17:22):
No.
Look, she said, you are missingout on
Speaker 2 (17:27):
life.
Speaker (17:28):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
All right.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna explore,
Speaker 2 (17:30):
and I might even let you take the rest of off, but to
have at least to try a friedgreen tomatoes, one for one.
I love tomatoes.
Listen and go is my favoritecheese.
Yeah.
And I, I do, but the fried greentomato.
Speaker (17:41):
So of all the fried things, which one's your
favorite In Just, in all of theweird fried things.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Probably.
See, I don't think it's weird,but that might be because I'm,
that's, that's what I up do's.
I grew.
I'm food and fork.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that's what I've known.
Yes.
Like I grew up on tomatoes andfried green tomatoes, so
probably actually fried pickles.
Speaker (18:07):
Wow.
Yeah.
Didn't even know they fried apickle.
But good to Really No girl.
I don't.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh yeah.
So if I had to choose between
Speaker (18:15):
get to more southern cuisines, yes.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah.
If I had to choose between thoseyou said that are kind of
interesting.
Oh, I will eat, uh, fried, um,fried pickles all day.
Speaker (18:26):
Oh,
Speaker 2 (18:26):
interesting.
Speaker (18:26):
Listen, we, we gonna have to, we have to do all the
restaurant tour.
Yeah, we do the restaurant tour.
Uh, okay.
What's this next one?
So this
Speaker 2 (18:32):
one is a little clip, so let's, let's check it out.
Speaker (18:38):
It's a GLIs berry season.
Yes.
That.
Is this a strawberry?
What's on the inside?
(18:58):
They put a hole in thestrawberry.
Looks a little, you know, I knowthat.
I know damn well that's not agoddamn hot dog.
Did they put a hot dog in thestrawberry?
Did they?
And okay, what race is it?
What is that?
Mayonnaise and hot dogs with astrawberry now.
(19:24):
Wait the hell on here.
This is called a GLIs berry.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Yeah, it looks accurate.
It, it looks a GLIs berry and I.
Just said it was wrong and Iwas, I'm gonna pass on, I'm
gonna,
Speaker (19:38):
I'm not just only gonna pass on it.
I'm also calling the authoritiesbecause that hot dog was white.
So it tells me it's not evencooked.
What is happening?
No, what?
I
Speaker 2 (19:48):
didn't, I've totally forgot about that.
I really totally forgot aboutit.
Extra.
It's extra.
It's extra past.
I mean, it's like, let's noteven.
Speaker (19:59):
Like, and why?
Why did you even think that ahot dog and a strawberry should
be together?
And then the insult ofmayonnaise.
But then I immediately thought,what?
Then?
You
Speaker 2 (20:07):
thought it you.
But then he also put grahamcracker crumbs on top.
Speaker (20:12):
Because why?
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Because the strawberry, you know, the sweet,
salty, maybe, I don't know.
It's not the hot dog, the male,I don't know.
But.
We passed.
We we've definitely passed onthat.
Speaker (20:23):
Thank you.
I love this.
This was a great segment and acute segment also tells me I
need to open up my palette whenit comes to food clearly.
Outside of the, you know, GLIsberry.
'cause ain't no way.
Yeah.
Ain't no way.
I don't want
Speaker 2 (20:35):
you to do a GLIs berry.
I'm not gonna do a GLIs berry,so I wouldn't do it to you.
Speaker (20:37):
Oh my gosh, I love this.
Thank you so much for bringingthese cool, fun segments to the
show.
This was lovely, but I wannahear more about Laura and food
for Forking Food DatingLifestyle.
So, going through your datingjourney, what has it taught you?
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Uh oh.
Hmm hmm.
Oh my gosh.
Um, that I'm okay.
Mm-hmm.
And where I am, I'm in a goodspace, I'm ready.
Um, more relaxed.
Yeah.
Like, it's not like, okay, letme think.
(21:14):
And all these things, they'relike, all right, this is where I
am and I have a lot to offer.
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Um, who is he and on this journey of doing it.
Um, working on, you know, wetalked about vulnerability Yes.
And what that means, and beingcomfortable in that, in that
space and getting morecomfortable in that space.
Mm-hmm.
I don't think it's, um,something that, you know, just,
at least for me, um, I'm gettingbetter at it.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
I'm getting better at it and exploring, like just be
you.
Show up if it works.
Great.
We don't ha And actually the,and really more for those first
dates, they don't have to be afive star dinner or a trip.
'cause I've been hearing thesestories and I'm like, no, it
doesn't have to be that it, itcould totally be coffee, it
(22:05):
could totally be meeting for adrink.
Why would I, I mean, again, thisis me.
I don't have an interest insitting and having a full meal
with someone and I already knowlike it.
10 minutes in possibly orshortly in that this is, this is
not gonna work.
Yeah.
We don't, we don't have aconversation.
(22:26):
So that, and
Speaker (22:27):
also I feel like the more, I don't know, theatrics is
not the right word, but the moreelaborate the first date is
mm-hmm.
In my perspective, the more itsteals away from authentic
connection.
I think when you meet someone togo grab a cup of coffee or, Hey,
I'm in this area, you wanna walkwith me until I get to the
(22:49):
train, or wherever it, it kindof puts us in a situation where
we're natural, we're in our ownelement, and we could just talk
and learn about each other.
Versus I'm gonna make areservation at Nobu and you meet
me here and you don't know whatshould I wear and how do I
present myself and maybe this ismy first time.
So then it becomes more aboutthe cuisine, the outfit, and all
these other things.
(23:09):
Yeah.
So by halfway into the dinneryou realize like, this person is
actually not comfortable.
They all tight and whatnot.
They looking around'cause theyfeel like this, the first time
I'm here or I've gone here,like, this is place, this is
actually not a, a good place fora first date.
Yeah.
So it becomes everything but.
The person you're sitting acrossfrom.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Yeah.
And show up, um, with someinterest, not complaining when
you walk in the door, or ifexample, um, the data set for a,
let's say the data set for abrunch, right?
Two o'clock.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
And you call me and you at one 30, I'm here and it's
hot.
Well, okay.
Okay.
Um, I'll see you at at two, butI'll be sure to be there.
But walk around like there'splenty of places.
It's a great, you
Speaker (24:07):
know, you know, neighborhood immediately makes
me think I'm not gonna
Speaker 2 (24:10):
show up.
No, no.
Speaker (24:14):
Well, maybe, but also that person is not comfortable.
That That's what I, oh, yeah.
It immediately makes me, I havealways felt like I could feel
people better than I can seethem.
Mm-hmm.
And that hearing someone show upto a date 30 minutes early to
call the person and say, tellthem about the temperature, and
(24:35):
show some sense of discomfort.
You're uncomfortable with your.
Or with the environment, youdon't know.
I just, yes.
I would just go, because I don'tthink I thought about that one
exactly in that, in that, inthat way.
I was like,
Speaker 2 (24:48):
oh, oh.
I'm like, what is wrong?
So to me,
Speaker (24:50):
and also we are people of community and, and tribe,
right?
We were never meant to be aloneand by ourselves.
That's why COVID really shook usup.
Human beings weren't meant to bealone.
Mm-hmm.
So you calling me 30 minutesbefore you supposed to be
somewhere telling me about theweather.
All I hear is comfort me throughthis until you get here.
That's what I hear whensomebody, Hmm, that's what I
(25:12):
hear.
That's a good perspectivebecause I, I, I feel people
better than I can see them.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Okay.
Speaker (25:19):
So, and I would just be like, oh, what makes it hot?
Do you think?
Do they have ac and start askingthem questions because it just
shows me that they're used to.
Some level of not dependency.
'cause there's a thin line oflike being codependent on
someone for your own feelings orjust, is this a safe place for
me to land?
Can I say to you it's hot andI'm early and you know, is this
(25:41):
a safe place for me to land?
Mm-hmm.
So that's what I would go, isthere ac.
Is it a lot of people is thewindows open?
So I would give them back, youknow, I would say a little
tennis match.
I give them back the ball tofigure out what's making them
uncomfortable.
What makes you say it's hot?
What's, why are you there early?
And then through thatexpiration, they're gonna be
like, oh, well yeah, I don'teven know if they ACS here.
(26:02):
Well, you know what, I'm hereearly.
Let me actually walk around thatlike.
Sometimes it's not.
I always say we all have giftsand great talents and strengths
in different areas.
Mm-hmm.
Some people just don't know howto open up themselves.
Like so just bat it back to themin a way that show them like,
Hey, you're early.
It's hot.
Speaker 5 (26:21):
It's okay.
It's all
Speaker (26:21):
right.
Is the AC on?
Is it too much people in there?
And then you give them somethingto refocus their energy on.
So it could be like, oh, the ACis on, but the place is really
packed in here and I'm not.
Then my response is like, Ooh,is it dates?
Is it friends?
What's going on?
And then you give me somethingback and I'm like, oh, I can't
wait to see you.
Gimme a few minutes.
I'm still wrapping up.
I'm on my way there.
Then in that same moment, Icomforted you through whatever
(26:45):
made you get there 30 minutesearly and call me.
You know what I mean?
But then also provided a safeplace for you to land so that
when I do see you at twoo'clock,
Speaker 2 (26:57):
you don't feel awkward because you, we are not
angry or you're not.
That was.
You know what?
That was good.
That was really good, because Ididn't take it that way.
Not that I was rude.
Mm-hmm.
But I was like, okay, we'll walkaround.
I either go outside.
Mm-hmm.
Um, I'll see you shortly,because we tend to wanna fix it
(27:21):
for people rather than allowingthem to fix it themselves.
And I didn't.
That's what
Speaker (27:24):
you wanted.
You provided a solution.
No one asked for a solution.
They just asked for an ear.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Oh.
See, I didn't take it that wayat all.
See, that was good.
See, girl, I try.
Mm-hmm.
I try every now and then.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to remember that.
Speaker (27:38):
Yes.
Just every, I feel like that's a
Speaker 2 (27:40):
pause.
That's a beat.
That's a beat.
Speaker (27:41):
Take a take a beat and pause.
Take a beat.
And remember that for a beat.
Yes.
Right.
And just remember that.
Mm-hmm.
Everyone's looking for a softplace to land.
Yeah.
And not like it's easy to knowwhen someone's trying to take
advantage of you or you know,trying to manipulate you, but on
the initial pass, someone'strying to find a soft place to
land, especially if we're aboutto meet up.
Nobody wants to waste theirtime.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker (28:01):
But if I'm uncomfortable and don't know
what to do.
It makes you don't know whatother people are going through.
So for all you know, in hisdating experience, he's been
told you need to share yourfeelings more.
If you feel uncomfortable, sayyou feel uncomfortable, then
mm-hmm.
Instead of like sitting downcrouching and doing all these
things, you make people feel away.
So on his journey, maybe it was,I need to communicate more of my
(28:22):
feelings, so let me justcommunicate this.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Okay.
Speaker (28:26):
Do you see what I mean?
Like it gives everyone's journeya place to kind of exist without
the judgment.
I think just, I feel like asblack women, we are solutions
oriented.
So somebody comes to me with,girl, I can't find a parking, I
don't, this guy is da da da.
We like, here's a solution.
Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam,bam, bam.
And sometimes we're not lookingfor solutions.
We're just looking for a ear.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because, but he looks prettygrumpy though, I will say.
Although, mm-hmm.
That for the future, Uhhuh, Iwas like, oh, that's.
That's a good one.
Yes.
But it was, it was challenging.
Yes.
Afternoon,
Speaker (29:00):
not, it was a challenge, but, but I would
explore that.
Right?
Yeah.
So I, as someone who I, like Isaid, I haven't dated in
forever.
Right.
But I always feel like if your,to me, energy is everything.
That's why I love doing instudio interviews.
Mm-hmm.
Energy is everything.
If I feel like your energy isoff, or you're grumpy, or
whatever the situation is, andit doesn't have to be a dating
situation, we could just benetworking or connected.
(29:20):
I'm, I'm a straight shooter.
Was all, you had a, you had arough week.
What's going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Partner you, you here, but youfeel like you ain't wanna be
here.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yes.
Speaker (29:30):
Should we walk you to the train, like we can walk out
over there and duck on the way?
Yes.
We ain't gotta waste thesepeople good food now, but again,
I'm, that's'cause Sonika is astraight shooter and I always
say that I don't expect peopleto be as straight as me.
Yeah.
So sometime that's.
I'm gonna be grumpy until sheeither asks me what's going on
or she gonna ignore that I'mgrumpy or like, oh yeah, no.
(29:53):
Do you see what I'm saying?
But don't do that then, buteverybody needs something.
Yeah.
We're communal people.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
But it's also the de that delivery that like, okay,
let, let's, how I took that alsois take, taking some checks,
like, mm-hmm.
Let me check that off.
What's going on in there?
Yeah, check.
Everything's fine.
Okay.
This and check'em off, and thenmaybe that'll calm the person
down.
Speaker (30:17):
Yeah.
Or not.
Or explore why.
Yeah.
Just, I always say the bestthing we can do for each other
is ask y.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker (30:24):
And don't ex don't be committed to the outcome.
Yeah.
Right.
Yes.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
You, this was such a fun, uniqueepisode.
This was great.
It wasn't it, it was.
See, and we will continue and wewill do it again.
Yes.
Thank you.
I'm looking forward to it.
Awesome.
For sure.
All right.
Yay.
And this is another episode ofHow Do You Divine Forking A
(30:46):
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