April 3, 2024 • 51 mins
Celebrate two years and 100 episodes of spreading the How the Wise One Grows podcast with laughter as we share our most embarrassing moments.
Imagine beginning every friendship with the raw, unfiltered stories that make us human—this episode does just that with host Holly Zajur and guests Emma Hern and Kelly Eberle, as they introduce themselves by sharing their most embarrassing stories.
But the laughter doesn’t end here! We're inviting YOU to be a part of the fun. Share your embarrassing moments with us, and let’s keep the laughter alive. Visit our website, www.howthewiseonegrows.com, and click the microphone icon at the bottom right-hand corner. Your story could be featured in an upcoming episode, connecting you with a community of listeners eager to laugh along.
Don’t miss out on joining our FREE Intentional Living Community for HTWOG podcast listeners. It’s a space dedicated to continuing the conversations sparked by our podcast, and where you can find support in living a life filled with intention and growth. Click to join and become a part of our growing community.
Tune in to celebrate, laugh, and grow with us. Whether it's through sharing your stories or simply enjoying the mishaps of others, let's embrace the joy of authentic connection, together.
Hear more from Emma Hern
Ep 12 & Ep 50
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So some days, the very best thing you can do to
take care of yourself and thepeople around you is to laugh,
and that is exactly what we'regoing to do on the podcast.
Today we are celebrating twowhole years of how the Wise One
Grows and 100 episodes, and theultimate way to celebrate, in my
(00:22):
opinion, is with laughter.
And you're going to get tolaugh your asses off because
you're going to hear my mostembarrassing story and you're
going to hear the mostembarrassing stories of two of
my favorite people.
And one more thing we now havea free, intentional living
community on Discord where youcan come together with fellow
(00:44):
listeners to reflect on theconversations we've had on the
podcast.
We not only talk about thepodcast, but really all the
things that support us in livingwith intention.
There's also a link in the shownotes to join this free
community, and I would behonored to have you there and
the first 15 people to join willenter to win a coaching call
(01:05):
with me.
But before we get started,let's just take a moment to land
here together with three deepbreaths.
So take a moment to noticewhere your body makes contact
with the earth and take a bigbreath in and a big breath out
Again, inhale, exhale, one moreinhale and exhale.
(01:35):
So get ready, it's time tostart laughing.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It's time to start laughing.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Um, I am so excited.
Today we are recording with twoof my favorite people in the
entire world and this is our100th episode.
And it's also on we'rerecording this on the
anniversary of the very firsthow the Wise Women Grow
(02:05):
recording.
So I just felt like the bestway to celebrate.
Honestly, I didn't actuallyknow it was the two-year
anniversary.
That was just like theuniversity wonderful.
But to celebrate 100 episodes,I was like we need to just laugh
and hang out with two of myfavorite people.
So today I have the one andonly Kelly Everly and Emma Hearn
(02:31):
Rounds of applause.
Luna is also joining the show,and Luna, so you'll definitely
hear Luna throughout today, butI thought that the best way to
get to know these people was soyou don't know at all.
Sidebar here.
You actually do know emma hearn.
She was in episodes 12 and 50on the podcast and they are both
(02:52):
linked in the show notes is toshare our most embarrassing
stories I just feel like thatshould be the way that everyone
meets each other is by sharingtheir most embarrassing stories
that'd'd be a fast icebreakerRight.
I mean like if you can't knowthe realest shit about me quite
literally like what are we doing?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I think this is just going to evolve into us telling
bathroom stories, which is greatwhen you're meeting people,
because you're like I wasintimidated by that girl, but
then I learned how she shit herpants.
It's always it is.
That's the thing that I'm kindof like.
You know how they say whenyou're nervous, to picture
people in that, like, pictureeveryone in the audience in
their underwear.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I forget.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It might be my mom.
Do you prefer to?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
see them shitting their pants.
No, my mom I think it was mymom who first was like, just
remember, everyone gets diarrheasometimes.
Like it's not that it's like.
Even whoever you're intimidatedby diarrhea get the runs.
We should just start doing adsfor like, like, natural body,
(03:54):
disasters, natural body.
Why do we describe them thatway?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
natural.
I had a natural body disaster.
Natural body disaster today, um, but I feel like the best way
to solve who goes first as Emmasuggested is go to a fashion
game Rock paper scissors shoot.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
How do we do it?
Three?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
ways I think whoever.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I think normally you can do it with three people and
then like one whoever's outfirst.
I think has to go first, oh,whoever loses first, Okay, all
right, Okay first.
Oh, whoever loses first Rockpaper scissors shoot.
We all got scissors Ready Rockpaper scissors, shoot MJ.
(04:38):
So now we go.
Wait, wait, wait, Emma, and Iwon't watch Emma and I both lost
.
Wait, I did scissors.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Those fools did paper .
Those fools.
Rock paper scissors shoot Tworocks.
Rock paper scissors shoot Twopapers.
Rock paper scissors shoot Tworocks.
It's like they live together.
Oh no, emma's stuck it.
Emma won with some paper overrock, I kind of forgot which one
wins honestly.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
For a second I got excited I was like rock is
stronger than paper.
I don't think that one reallymakes sense.
Like paper can cover rock, butif you're outside and it rains,
like I think rock likeultimately wins everything.
But Rules are rules.
This actually works best for me, because then I can get mine
out of the way and then just sitback while you fools have to be
nervous.
(05:23):
Oh, so that was a strategy.
Um, okay, I, this is the onethat I like thought of.
Also, I don't know if I I'vetold you.
Have I told you about my crewstory?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I haven't heard it.
Remember we, we oathed, wetalked about this idea.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Well, did you guys go behind my back and told each
other?
No, no, no no, but she's knownthis, like this, view has gone
on until 10 years ago.
And there's like the commonlink.
So she knows the dirt on bothof us.
Yeah, that's true.
Do you know Holly's mostembarrassing story?
Surely I have so many.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's definitely got to do with poop.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Why are you going to spoil things for me?
Sorry, how are?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
you going to?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
be like that.
Well, we'll get to that laterAll right All right, I'll kick
things off light and easy.
Mine is a piss story.
You got one of those too, whodoesn't Okay.
I had one problem in middleschool, high school, college
Yesterday.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It's happening on me right now.
Anyway, okay, it's happening onme right now.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Anyway, okay.
This is my embarrassing peestory which I'm really hoping,
like now, as I'm saying it, I'mlike oh my God, my old crew
coach is going to hear thisepisode somehow and know.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
But you know what it is, what it is.
Sorry, mr Mahon.
Okay Okay.
So when I was younger, I didcrew like rowing she's from
Connecticut, oh, okay.
So when I was younger, I didcrew like rowing she's from
Connecticut.
All right, you grew up on agolf course bitch, we all have
something.
(06:56):
I'm from Connecticut, I rodecrew, but there was one day we
did summer crew that was likefirst thing in the morning you
had to be at the lake at likeseven, I want to say, and you
did not mess around with beinglate because the coach was
intense and I was late and I had, like I had to pee, to the
(07:18):
point where I had to pee already.
It was already an emergencybefore I left the house.
But I was like I can't be late,so I'm not going to, so I'm
going to pee when I get there.
Nope, I got there, everyone wasalready in the boat ready to go
and the coach was like get inthe boat now, like you're late.
So I was like, oh my God.
So I didn't, I didn't speak upand I just was like it's fine, I
(07:43):
didn't speak up and I just waslike it's fine, I'm sure I can
hold it for an hour longpractice.
Also this is okay, maybe one ofyou is going to have to explain
the visuals of this, because ifyou don't know about crew, I
was the coxswain that day.
Which means I don't know whatthat is Okay, I'm going to
explain it to you, and thenyou'll have to explain it
(08:04):
visually for the podcast.
Okay, so Kelly is doing shakesfor us so everyone's are like
this is what my yoga teachingcompany is crisscross applesauce
.
Wait, I'm not starting it.
There are 8 people rowing inthe boat and then the 9th person
is the coxswain, who faces allof them and tells them to row
with a little yes, but are yourowing?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
no, and here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
No, no, no no, no, no .
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I want to be very clear because it's always
assumed.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
When people see my height especially, people are
like coxswain a coxswain andyou're.
You have a little microphone sothat everyone can hear you,
which is called a cox box.
Nice, and you go, bro.
Yeah, there's so much to worryabout this is gonna be a lot of
backstory before we even get tothe second episode she's just
trying to tell us about rowing,so she doesn't tell us about p.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
No, no, no, okay, here's the deal.
You'll get it in one second.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So I'm very proud of the fact that I did row, because
I'm a strong bitch but I'm ashort bitch.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
But this particular day I was late, so he was like
you're the coxswain, get in theboat now so I got in the boat.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
The whole issue with this setup is that there are
eight people facing you and then, when you're in the coxswain,
your legs are up, basically likein stirrups, facing the first
person.
Who's?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
like rowing towards you and away from you, so
everyone just has a visual.
Like straight into the crotch.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Of your crotch and meanwhile I'm in this little and
I have to pee, so bad and I'mlike just get through it, kelly,
just you got this, you got this.
But I'm like row, row, row,just like trying to like not
think about it also, you're on alake and so you're just hearing
like the swishing of like itwas bad.
(09:53):
We got out into the lake.
I was like this is just.
It was the kind of I need topee, where I felt feverish
because I had been holding itfor so long and I was like this
isn't happening it's over so itjust keeps getting worse.
So I peed.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I mean you know, so did you, like I do notify anyone
, did you?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
or did you have a moment where you were like I'm
just gonna let this.
I pictured it like shooting outof you like a waterfall into
the people that you're yellingat.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I got a strong.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, I was like I want to know the physics, how
you feel she's really got itdown A geyser.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I believe in you.
No, I just peed Like a normalwoman, but you're in stirrups.
I am, but I think my Vag isstill down.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I wasn't like.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
My question was stir up?
I am, but I think my vag isstill down.
I wasn't like in love, did you?
My question was did you, wereyou like?
I feel like in those moments Ihave a moment of I've lost
control.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's happening.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Yeah, and we're just gonna let the body do what the
body's gonna do.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
It was such.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Or were you just like oh no, it happened.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
No, no, no.
Who's in charge?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
here.
No, there was a full moment ofcomplete defeat.
I was like it's over, the fighthas been lost.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I know High school career I've held on so long and
I can't hold on anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
This was probably the summer before my freshman year.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
That's a great time for that.
How old are?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
you in eighth grade 13?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Thirteen fourteen Right before freshman year.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's and this is with people you're going to high
school with.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes, yeah, that's right, and this is with.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I specifically remember the girl in front of me
was, like a badass, one yearolder than me.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So she's already in high school.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
So I was like I'd like to do some investigative
journalism to the people in theboat.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Do they know?
Oh?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
it gets so much worse .
All of this is build up.
I peed and there's more, sobasically, at this point I have
fully lost it.
I'm like admit to feed you peed.
You're peeing right now and I'mthis close to the next girl
who's just like rowing lookingat me as I'm like row Row.
(12:04):
I'm just like rowing looking atme as I'm like row row, like
just like pissing my, my seat,oh my gosh.
Um.
So then I panic after it'shappened and I'm like well, I've
already peed, so naturally Ijust start to splash water into
the boat, for sure yeah, you gotit.
(12:24):
I was like I'm just gonna coverthis up and actually I'm just,
and I'm sure the girl right infront of me was like why is she?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
trying to put more water in the boat.
That's not how boats work.
I'd rather you think I'm bad atboat.
Yeah, I was just like likehandfuls of water in the boat.
I'm like water in my lap.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Okay, this is where, this is where it all goes wrong.
So so basically, then wefinally row back to the shore.
Our coach is like all right,come back in.
And when you're in crew,there's like an order of things
where you get out of the boat acertain way and then everyone,
like like, leans over on thedock once you're out of the boat
(13:11):
to pick it up by, like theriggers where your seat is.
And then it's like an order ofcommands where it's like up to
up to hips.
How much longer is this afteryou leave?
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
It probably was like an annoyingly short amount of
time like I held on until Icouldn't, and then they were
like all right, bring it back in, and I'm like great yeah
exactly as soon as I peed, theywere like and they're like
someone peed, someone peed.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Hey, we clearly have to leave.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Someone pissed the boat someone called kelly's mom
yeah, she needs to go home,she's scared.
So, basically, this is thething where I'm like, okay,
whatever, I've splashed so muchwater into this, but this is my
plan.
I'm just we're gonna dowhatever the commands were that
were like up to shoulder or upto hips, up to shoulders, and
(13:59):
then you would roll the boatover top of your head.
Kelly's feet is just going topour on everything.
Well, no, here's the thing Iwas like.
You are in charge of your ownseat.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
So I'm going to be the last one to be like overhead
.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I'm going to step out of the way because I know and
it's going to be fine, so you'vegot to play Instead.
I knew I was like.
I gamed this out At the verylast minute.
Coach, I should not be sayinghis real name.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I'm like actually like nervous about this.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
He does not know this , Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
He at the last minute went, I got that.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Kel and grabs my thing and goes over it and they
lift it up over him and he goesall over him and he literally
goes cool, a lot of water inthere today and then just walks
like they all walk it into theboathouse and I just was like
wait, did you tell anyone?
Like not for so long?
(14:58):
Yeah, that is to this day Ithink I'm like yeah until this
podcast gets somehow back tocoach m
wow, that's my story of how Ikeep on my coach I'm just
impressed with you.
That sounds worse.
Yeah, because you executed thatand it sounds like you added a
(15:18):
lot of water in the boat to getaway with it yeah I still think
about that, though I'm like hehad to know right, he was like
no, you wouldn't have to know.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't think yeah I don't think you would know
unless you don't think it wouldbe like.
This doesn't smell, you'redehydrated and hadn't had.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
This is like okay, maybe I got away with it I think
you got away well, that Well,that's my embarrassing story.
Wow, that's impressive World.
You know Kelly At her finest.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Bladder and all Bladder and all Dying little
bladder.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Okay, time for story number two.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Paper scissors shoot.
I am so good, I am so good, Iam so good, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Emily with a scissor paper.
Well, this was actually.
It was definitely a paper.
This was actually Cliff she'strying to defend.
This is Cliff.
What does Cliff mean?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
It's a male person.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Not like Cliff, okay cheat.
So my name is Emma Hearn andthis is my embarrassing story.
We're ready Maybe 2016, maybe2017.
This was the time when peoplewould just come over to our
house as if it was their ownhouse.
Yeah, yeah, and I was nannying,I was trying to get my music
(16:33):
career going and it was like oneof those times when you should
choose to sleep well, work andsocial you remember that?
because that's what they told usat st michael's.
Really, that's what they toldus.
That's brainwashing, I know wewell, I chose.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I've never heard of this.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Yeah, like you're a healthy lifestyle have, like
sports social life like restacademics.
And it was like, yeah, choose,pick three, three, yeah.
And then I heard the same thing, like just in general in life,
like don't try and do it allsleep or social.
You can't do three all at thesame time.
And I was trying to do threeall at the same time and um was
(17:16):
sick all the time because I wasnannying, which?
I'm not nannying and yeah let'schange we're still in, yeah know
yeah, and that night this wasin the days of tinder.
Oh, this is my one and onlytinder story.
(17:38):
Okay, set the scene I've beennannying all day Wasn't great,
and you'll hear more about yourdecision if you want to have
kids or not have kids in anupcoming episode.
(17:58):
And so I was also like dealingwith I think it was on the tail
end of like having some type oflike strep throat thing, because
I was given cough, medicatedcough syrup from my doctor.
Don't do a spit take, don't doit.
I was giving, I was justfollowing instructions.
I was given medicated coughsyrup.
I think I was still on that andI came back to my house and some
(18:21):
of our friends.
I want to say like Zach andthose people, kelly, all those
people were at the house and Iwas like, oh, I have this.
I'm supposed to meet thisperson at Dino's.
It's my first tender datetonight, but I just don't feel
good and I'm retired because I'msick.
And I think Zach was the one Iwas like you never, like you're
(18:44):
always with all of us, likeyou're with you're the guys,
you're with the band.
You're never gonna meet anyone,you're gonna die alone so to
the supportive friends that weare like go anyway, go on cough
syrup, and so not even thinkingno one here knows that I'm on
cough syrup and I'm like, I'mjust gonna take my medicine
(19:07):
before I go.
I'm gonna take my medicinebefore I go.
I'm gonna drive, I'm gonna haveone beer, I'm gonna have an
okay time.
Come home early, all is goodsay I did it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that was the plan.
I get ready, I'm like I don'twant to do this and take my
cough syrup and go on my date.
(19:29):
And when I get there, it'sDino's, which is the bar.
This was where the place to be.
Me, kelly and Holly spent waytoo much time, so much, so much
time.
And this was in the heyday, whenthey also would have jazz night
.
So great start to night andit's just a dive bar and they
(19:51):
just have people in the cornerplaying jazz.
Love, yeah, iconic.
Yes, easter egg, one of theguys playing jazz was the guy I
would date later.
Thank, you stay tuned, old mansam.
So I meet this guy.
It's like there are pictures ontinder but he's like insert
(20:14):
band boy in Nashville so I'mlike I kind of know what he
looks like and this is going tobe a good place because safety,
this will be a good place tomeet because I guarantee there
are five people.
I will already know that are atthis bar too, Plus, everybody
else knows where I am, so go inthere.
He's at the bar, he comes up.
He's really very nice, verylong hair.
(20:37):
Some would say too long.
Okay, would you say too long.
She's bringing her hands liketo her waist, yeah, so yeah, too
long.
Okay, very cute, you can seethat this is her thing.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You know like you identified her Rapunzel,
rapunzel, yeah okay, that's yourvibe.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Part two Otherwise wonderful.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So he comes up, he's very sweet and he's just like to
be honest, I'm pretty nervous Itold the bartender I was here
for like a date, a tinder date,and then I'm pretty nervous.
So him and I took one shot.
The bartender was trying tolike amp me up and I was like
that's good.
And then we're saying like that, the cough syrup was already
(21:24):
starting to hit.
That's dope, yeah.
And I would just like to saythis medicated cough syrup.
I did, I genuinely did not knowthat you should not drink
medicated cough syrup.
Me neither, so in my head I waslike oh, it's something you take
to just suppress a cough rightLike a throat soother kind of
(21:45):
thing.
If you've heard of leaning,it's when you mix cough syrup
scissor with alcohol so that youkind of get near hallucination.
So you scissor yes, I wasleaning.
By the end of the night LeaningI've never heard.
Yes, she was leaning, I lovethe idea that Emma's the one to
(22:08):
teach us about like drugs.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Yeah, have you ever heard?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
of.
So I get there, we're actuallyhaving a great date.
I would like.
Well, I'm high, so I was like Iremember this fondly.
I I had a great time.
I was like he is very kind, heis a musician.
The colors are more vivid thanI've ever seen.
(22:33):
I love jazz.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I love jazz, jazz hands.
Emma just did jazz hands.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
This was also the era when I was trying to be a tough
rock and roll girl, so Iordered whiskey meat or whiskey
with on ice.
So this is the part of thestory where you make Mike proud.
Yes, but this is also after you.
I'm for my father, okay soactually, mike, you do have to
(23:01):
listen to this, sponsored byJack Daniels.
I like that this started outwith you being like I'm gonna go
, I'm gonna have one beer.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So naturally I go.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
I get whiskey neat.
Because I'm cool and I'm notlike the other girls.
I'm not like the other girls.
I'm different.
I feel different, hi Hi,leaning, leaning, leaning.
So anyway, I know, don't do it,kids.
(23:32):
This is sponsored by DARE.
Just saying no.
So this was a bad decision.
And then I am now high.
I remember the date fondly.
I suddenly realized this onedrink has hit me like a brick
(23:52):
wall because it's been mixedwith my medicated cough syrup.
I look at him.
I think we've had a good time.
We're like hanging out.
I had one drink, we had frenchfries, we're having a good time.
And I say I can't drive home.
And he's like oh, I was likewill you drive me home?
(24:14):
Also probably not a good idea,but you know, you just kind of
sense it out and I was like it'sjust up the street, he hasn't
been drinking a lot.
Will you drive me home?
And he goes.
She's trying so hard to defendhimself, been drinking a lot.
Will you drive me home?
And he goes.
Okay, so I did start this outby saying he had a shot.
His hair is so long that hecan't respond to we drive,
(24:35):
you're not advising I was young.
You have to learn from yourmistakes.
Don't listen to emma.
Don't listen to Emma.
She was leaning, I was leaning,Okay.
Anyway, I don't know how I saidthis, but it was like can?
We get out of here, Can youdrive me?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And he was like oh, you want to go back to my place
and I was like no, I do not.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
You can drive me home , to my home, to my home where I
live, which is a short fewblocks away.
Then you will depart and thenyou leave.
Sir, I have a house full offriends, your hair is far too
long, it's full of secrets, andso he is a gentleman in a
darkened home.
I got in the car a little bitand then I decided to abruptly
(25:23):
stop making out with him becauseI'm also.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
My tummy is feeling a little weird, okay a little
weird, and so then I open up thedoor.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I'm like, okay, this is fun, bye, open up the door,
jump out and I close the doorand I'm walking up to my house
and he rolls down the window andhe's like am I ever gonna see
you again?
That was so fun.
And I say probably not.
And then I go inside becauseI'm on drugs.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I thought you were gonna say probably not, and I
projectile no, that's coming.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Oh, oh yeah, I was like what happened with your
weird?
Feeling tummy, and so I quietlyopen the door because I think
Quietly but you're on scissorOkay well, kelly was there, I
think, so Kelly can do thefollow up story.
I'm quietly opening the door andI quietly shut it behind me and
I turn around and all of ourfriends are still there Because
(26:23):
they haven't gone home.
They're like well, well, well,it is a little genre I.
It becomes very apparent that Iam hammered off of this one
drink.
I left my car at the bar and Idon't know defending yourself I
Speaker 2 (26:43):
do not drink and drive.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I don't know I goending herself Do not drink
and drive.
I don't know.
I go in and I'm like, yeah, I'mtrying to keep it under control
, it's not going well, she's notin control.
I remember asking someone maybeKelly?
I was like I need a peanutbutter sandwich.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I need a peanut butter sandwich.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Oh yeah, who's going to make it for me?
Because the little princesscan't make it.
This is who's gonna make it forme, because little princess
can't make it so this is what Ihad to deal with back in the day
.
Fast forward, I don't know whathappened from the time where I
asked for peanut butter sandwichto no one made it for you is
what happened, so you have to beleft to your own resources.
(27:22):
And I put my hands in the peanutbutter container and I start to
finger paint is the only way todescribe this.
On our table.
Yeah, question mark, she's likeI'm happy Flashback, smearing
the peanut butter, not eating it.
No one's helping me.
Whoa, you did sound like youwere having fun.
(27:44):
I have my own version of thisstory to tell after this.
Oh, great To clarify.
And then at some point, thepeanut butter's no longer on my
hands.
I go into my room because Ithink Kelly's like let's get you
a glass of water and put yourPJs on, because you were the
only one defending me, that'sright, and I kind of made.
And then she switches fromKelly wasn't helping me, because
(28:08):
it's coming back to me.
And then I remember I think Idon't fully get in my pajamas.
Oh, oh, you're like.
You're like why don't you putyour pajamas on?
I'm going to go get you a glassof water is how I remember this
yes, I'm partially pajama andKelly goes to get me partially
(28:31):
pajama and in my bed and I have,I think.
You think that I've just fallenasleep, yeah, yeah, but I also
threw up all over the floorbefore that.
Yes, nice, how did I miss that?
Because I have a special thingwhere if I'm going to throw up,
(28:53):
I have to lay flat or else Iwill pass out.
So I knew that, because I havethis special thing where if I'm
going to grow up, I have to layflat or else I will pass out.
So I knew that and I laid flaton the bed and just said this is
fine, this will do.
We need to clarify flat not onyour back, flat on your side, on
my side, on my side, Flat on myside.
I'm like I would not have lovedyou.
The floor is fine here.
I would not have loved you.
And I said the floor is finehere, and I know that I didn't
(29:15):
put on my Dino shirt because I'ma Dino's girly through and
through, because my shirt wasalso on the floor and if you've
had a Dino shirt you've grown upon it.
At least once I puked tikkamasal on mine.
I never have.
There's still time, we'll getthere, we'll get there.
Oh, you guys, yeah.
And then I have passed out atthis point just probably 30
(29:37):
minutes post, coming in thefront door, gone to sleep now
because I have to nanny at 7amthe next morning.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
And.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I wake up the next morning, running late for work,
go over next door to where I'mnannying and the mom opens the
door and said hi, are youfeeling okay today?
And I was like, yeah, just momopens the door and said, hi, are
you?
Feeling okay today and I waslike, yeah, just because I am so
incredibly hungover at thispoint, and it's been like during
that time when I look and Ihave a string of text messages
(30:06):
from this guy that's just like,wow, what a great night.
Hope you got home safe.
How did you feel how this went?
I just didn't expect to connectwith someone on such a deep
spiritual level, and it justwent on, and on, and on and on.
And I'm like, sir you, I wenton a Tinder date with you and I
(30:26):
had scissors, was leaning, yeah,you connected with my shadow
self.
I was not there.
I was not there.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
So maybe that is your soulmate, I don't think there.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
I was not there, so maybe that is your soulmate.
I don't think so.
I'm fully team Holly on this.
I don't know when she wouldcontinue, like continually.
I was just like, nah, I waslike, blast that out, no, Is he
still around?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Is he still in?
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Nashville.
Who's to say he would like come, he would be on tour.
We're going to parent trap Emma.
He would come back into townwhenever he was in town.
He was like in town for threedays on tour.
I would love to take you outfor dinner and I'd be like nah,
Did you ever see him again?
No, Emma, Except for once whenhe was also playing guitar at a
show that I was playing.
(31:05):
But he was like last at theHigh Watt and I was just like
Emma.
Who are you?
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
and that's your soulmate.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
It is not my soulmate .
So that's my story.
Wow, and that was my one andonly timid day.
Here's how I remember the lastpart of it.
I remember getting you at leastpartially into pjs, being like
I will get water, I.
All of that is true.
I don't remember anything withpeanut butter until the next day
(31:35):
.
I don't think this is why Ithink it's possible.
She was waiting for a little.
Did I wake up in the middle ofthe night?
What I think?
Probably happened is that yougot home.
You were trying to play it cool.
We were like, well, well, well,it was an Emma Tinder date.
And then you were probably like, and I was like all right let's
(31:56):
get you in bed.
I got you water.
You puke, whatever.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I think you fall asleep, and then later, when I
was already asleep, then you getup and start finger painting.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Because the next morning no one is helping her.
Oh my God, she washallucinating, it's all in the
kitchen?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
No one was in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I wish we had like, like you know, those night
vision cameras that are justlike drunkenly like knowing
ratatouille when he'scontrolling.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
I remember the next morning being like why is there
peanut butter all over everysurface?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'd like to formally apologizefor my peanut butter eating, my
peanut butter escapades, if youwill.
The escapades, wow, okay, soyour embarrassing story, you
also like, still managed to havesomeone completely fall in love
(32:47):
with you.
That's very, emma, a version ofmyself, a version who knows,
that is one version, a versionthat we love.
Yeah, we love so deeply and Iwill say did she learn?
No, because then maybe this wasanother time.
I was on cough syrup and Ithink I told this story and Joel
was in town.
(33:07):
He was like you should get yourcough syrup.
I'll make a cocktail with coughsyrup and we did that in
dinty's guys.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Oh so you did that for fun just one other time.
This is not sponsored by darein a controlled environment at
home where it's there drugs,just try them.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Dare do a responsible , responsible experience,
experience nice guys.
Responsible experiences, yeahnice, we just reclaimed it we
did.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
If you haven't already, you should totally join
the Dream Team.
The Dream Team is an amazinggroup of listeners who support
this podcast and make itpossible every month, and you
can join for as little as $3 amonth.
You'll support the podcast,you'll get a special handwritten
postcard from yours truly and ashout out in an upcoming
(34:03):
episode, and if you aren't ableto financially support at this
time, it would mean the world tome If you would consider
following this podcast on yourfavorite streaming platform,
leaving a review they make aworld of difference and sharing
an episode you love with afriend so that we can continue
to learn and grow together.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Okay, you know what time it is.
So, yeah, I'm in collegeCurrently.
It's rough Currently.
Wish no, I don't, I was like,wish I had the worst time in
college.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I went to UVA, did not have many friends.
Really, I didn't have somegreat friends.
Uva is not a great place, butyeah, so I'm in college at UVA.
I think this is like secondsemester.
I was still hating it.
That never really changed.
Yeah, but we all went to thisMediterranean restaurant that I
really love.
I was so excited to go there.
(35:04):
We got this like amazing food,amazing fish, like loving it,
and we're taking the buses backto our suite.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yeah, and I'm on the bus and my stomach starts to
feel bad.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I hate this it's just feel bad.
I'm on the bus with, likeeveryone I live with.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Oh no and I'm like escape yeah, no escape, but I'm
increasingly like, oh, like.
I'm losing the battle.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I know I'm losing the battle like I still think I
have like some time to save it,but I'm like I will not make it
all the way to our dorm into thebathroom and I know this for
certain.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I'm so scared and I'm deeply upset, oh yeah, and I
come up with a great plan.
I'm like oh one of my roommatesis doing this dance thing at
the stadium.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's in like an hour or two, but like I'm gonna get
off now to check on her.
I tell them I'm like yeah, I'mgonna get off here.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
I'm gonna check on yeah, yeah, like gotta go bye, I
like successfully get off thebus.
Yes, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I see the building oh no, in front of me I'm in in
the middle.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Most of my embarrassing stories happen at a
sports stadium.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Yeah, sports do not.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
I'm in the football stadium parking lot.
I see the student activitiesbuilding that I'm walking to.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
You can do it, I'm like you can't do it, I just
shit my pants.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
You bridesmaids, yeah .
Oh, you bridesmaids, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I bridesmaids all in my jeans in the jeans.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Oh no, is this?
What time of night this?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
is dark it's winter, it's like 6, 7 maybe 8.
Like it's dark.
Do you have a coat on too?
No, not a long one but like thething is I live with, I live in
a suite full of people, yeah,and there's no like laundry.
I'm like what am?
(37:05):
I'm just like crying.
I call my then boyfriend andlike he parker was so sweet.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It was like people were walking by and I'm just
like hysterical like they'regonna know, and he's like no, no
, they'll just think like somegod pardon, I'm like no, this is
what do I do?
I call my parents, who are anhour away.
I'm like you have to come takeme out.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yes, I will not go back to my.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, I'm like this and they're like we can't do
that, like your sister's there?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
no, she wasn't, she was in richmond.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
So I am like freaking out, and then I call my
sister's roommate and I'm likevictoria, here's what happened
you, gotta you have to pick meup.
She picks me up in the parkinglot as I've just been crying
there for like 30 minutes withpoop in my pants, and she pulls
up and I just lay flat on mystomach and the back seat of her
(38:06):
car.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
So that you don't, so that I don't feel no.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
And then I get to their apartment, she just gives
me a trash bag and I I like gointo the bathroom and just like
Get rid of the evidence, get ridof everything.
Shower, stay at my sister'shouse.
All my roommates and people arelike where are you, are you
okay?
Like and yeah, oh honey, oh,that's rough.
(38:30):
It was rough, was it the fish?
What was the culprit?
Maybe I don't think anyone elsegot sick.
This podcast is not sponsoredby that Mediterranean restaurant
it's not sponsored by fish.
Not sponsored by fish?
Absolutely not.
Oh, that's rough.
Yeah, that is rough.
I got more of them In my head.
(38:52):
She put down cardboard.
No, that's how I felt the storywent, like I love the idea that
you planked in.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh, I just planked in the back seat.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
It was like also how close were you with this?
Like, is this pretty close?
Speaker 2 (39:05):
okay, you're pretty close.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
She was like I will come to you in your time yeah,
for sure, yeah, like I I feltreally close with her.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Obviously, I would have rather not had her be the
one in that scenario.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
But, it was my best option.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
And.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
I'm forever grateful.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
But can you?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
imagine if I had to go back to that dorm full of
people that I live with Withshit pants yeah, having shit in
my pants and you'd be shit pantsgirl yeah, forever Wow.
But if you give them some spaceand then tell them, you're shit
pants, girl, then wow.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
but if you give them some space and then tell them
you're shit pants girl, thenit's funny, then it's funny,
then it's funny and then it's onit's character then.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But they have to love you enough first oh wow, that's
the worst not to take any, andthat was not the last time.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
no that you shat your pants, no, it wasn't well, I
would say yes, definitive.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I would say no, I didn't shit my pants.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Shorts.
I took them off oh.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I have so many.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Oh my God, this like slow ping pong game.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
You know, I can't reveal all of my secrets in one
episode.
I have to keep you coming backfor more the owl issues run in
the family?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Hey, it's real, everyone has them.
Hot girl with tummy issues yeah, ibs yeah the way.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
So now we are all really close and comfortable
with each other.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And I feel like, and so, and I feel like, so are you,
and so are you a listener.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Yeah, I hope you feel like you really know kelly and
emma.
I hope you laughed.
I hope you don't judge us toomuch and I want to hear your
embarrassing story.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
can they write in?
I think anyone who wants toshare their embarrassing stories
should.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I'm not more If you think yours isn't like too much.
Every story you send in, we'llshare another.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Yeah, we'll raise you an embarrassing story.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So if you want these embarrassing stories to keep
going, you can submit yourembarrassing story.
You can leave it anonymous.
You can say your embarrassingstory.
You can leave it anonymous.
You can say your name.
You decide by going tohowthewisewongrowscom there's a
link in the show notes and clickthe microphone in the bottom
right-hand corner.
From there you can leave avoicemail for us of your most
(41:28):
embarrassing story and I'll keepmy word.
For every embarrassing story wereceive, we will give you one
embarrassing story of ours Idon't think yours is.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
Uh, you got, you got drunk.
You made a man fall in lovewith you yeah, you made a
sandwich for yourself you weredrunk at home.
I never once made a sandwichfor myself.
I like the record.
She made a masterpiece, andholly and I get the privilege of
knowing that there is in fact alittle more to the story.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
That does make it a funny, embarrassing story, but
the listeners don't know thatall right, emma kelly.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Any final words for the listeners?
What?
Speaker 3 (42:05):
do you want them?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
to know about you, aside your embarrassing story.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I have better bladder control now do I?
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But I don't row anymore so.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
That will never happen to me again.
I feel like your embarrassingstories make you stronger.
They define you or what you dowith them, or if you don't ever
tell anyone them, that's okaytoo.
You are, that's telling.
Yeah, you're more than justyour embarrassing stories.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Yeah, you're more than your big mom and everyone
everybody poops their pants morethan others, once a quarter,
once a quarter if you're a goodbusiness woman.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
If you're a good business woman shit your pants
once a Keeps you honest.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Welcome back to how the Wise One Grows and my
friend's gonna tell a story now,yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Okay.
So we all know, we all knowthat I've had stomach issues
from a young age.
Tell me problems, if you will.
Hot girl IBS.
Hot girl IBS as regaining likeproper Use, use of my intestines
(43:41):
.
I would say, like I was at thepoint where I was like, oh, this
isn't college, no, no, no, no,this was early, early Nashville.
Okay, like my stomach wasstarting to get better, mm-hmm,
it wasn't like, oh, I'm eitherlike not shitting or I have to
shit in the next 10 seconds.
Yeah, you know, there was likenot there was not a lot of
wiggle room between that, and soI was.
(44:03):
I don't even know who I waswith.
I was with someone.
I blocked this out.
I kind of forgot I did this.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Like that's, how Was this after I moved?
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Yes, you were no longer there.
You were there, you.
Yes, you were no longer there,you were there, you weren't
there, and I don't know, aboutit?
No, you don't know about it.
No one knows about this Is thisreally You've never told this
story.
I've only told one personbecause it happened to them in
the same place and they saidthis to me and I fell down
(44:31):
laughing so hard because I waslike what are the chances?
Are you going to reveal who theother person is?
That's fine, I will never Okay,that's fine.
And so I am at a, I am at thecoffee shop and I am having some
coffee and maybe a treat or two, and I'm like Ooh, ooh, huh, I
(44:57):
have to go to the bathroom.
I really have to go to thebathroom.
And I was still at the stagewhere I was like I would try to
drive home if I could.
Yeah, yeah, public is not.
And because this specificcoffee shop, their like lock
didn't always work, yes, and Ishit, and that's normal, and
(45:17):
that's fine in the toilet.
Okay, there's not a problem inthe story yet.
Uh-huh, yet you gave meoperative word, and then I flush
the toilet and the toiletdoesn't work and it's not like
it's clogged, clogged, it's justnot working.
And I remember, like huh, Iremember that this is kind of a
(45:41):
finicky.
They have two bathrooms andthis is like the one that's more
finicky and it's busy time andthere are people and people line
up outside of that bathroom inthe corridor and I am like I
I'll, I'll die before I walk outof here with a shit filled
toilet.
(46:02):
So naturally I have to disposeof the evidence no no, whatever
you're about to say is going tobe so much worse than just
leaving in a shitty.
I don't know why my brain waslike you have to get rid of the
even shitty.
I don't know why my brain waslike you have to get rid of the
(46:24):
bomb.
That's hilarious, I don't knowwhy.
I don't know why you could havepretended it was something else
.
That's when you just walk outand go.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
God, the guy who was in here really left a mess.
I don't know I don't know whathappened.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Something malfunctioned in my brain and I
was like this is your onlyoption?
Look at yourself in the mirror.
You never look at yourself thesame way.
Buck up, Buck up, Herne.
It's time to scoop the poop.
And I look around.
I look around to see what I canuse and where I can dispose of
it.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
And what did you come ?
Speaker 3 (47:04):
up with.
I'm so scared right now.
Not just napkins, no, the sink.
Bare hands, you ate it, sorry,awesome.
I look around and I decide I'mgoing to use the plunger,
because first I'm using theplunger Like Scoopy, I see what
you're saying.
Oh, it's like you use the.
Yeah, first I try to use theplunger.
(47:26):
So I'm like maybe it's clogged,yeah, maybe this will be okay.
Yeah, emma crying, so maybeit'll be okay.
Someone's knocked on the doorat this point.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, of course.
So now there's a clock.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
There's a clock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, countdown ison.
I can't do option A, Kelly,because I've been in here.
Yeah, I can't just be like I.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Yeah, I've been hanging out in here with this
toilet full of someone else'sshit.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
And so I use the plunger and I scoop it out.
But before that had to be sohard to do.
It was so hard I didn't get itall but enough.
I was like this is better,uh-huh, and I put it in the
trash can and I close the trashcan and I sit the plunger down
(48:19):
and I walk out of there and Idon't come back for a year and a
half oh my gosh, my friend hadalready paid and I was like,
great, good, let's go.
You were there with someone.
I was like we gotta go yeahgood, you already paid.
Great, okay, I'm gonna leave,let's go.
Yep, time to go bye.
And I left and I didn't comeback for at least a year and I
(48:41):
thought to myself you've workedat restaurants.
What if you were the person?
The person who has to take thecharge.
And that's when, years later, Ifound out that I have a friend
who did the exact same thing.
So I'm like like, are they usedto that?
Is that something?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
that people do.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Specifically there in the toilet, toilet where you
don't think you can just walkout?
Scoop the poop once.
Shame on you.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (49:11):
I mean that toilet should have been fixed.
If that's the second or moretime that someone has had to
manually remove their shit itwas in her bag In the toilet.
Does that help?
Not the toilet In the trash, no, in the trash.
I kind of wish it would likethey have like a little wicker
waste basket instead.
(49:32):
You know she wouldn't have doneit, I couldn't yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
I don't know what.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
I would have done.
I looked around when that firsthappened.
I looked around to see if therewas a window, no, to crawl out.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Oh, I was like to throw it out of, like the old
days.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
That's what I was saying.
No, I would have crawled outthe window.
If there wasn't a workingwindow, I would have left that
way, or you just made out theperson who's talking there would
have been no bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
that's why you just stay there until they're like
man, we're closing.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
What's happening?
I didn't, I didn't have anoption that is my most
embarrassing story and I havenever told anyone wow, thank you
for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yes, thank you for holding this good.
I want to share a specialreview with you all.
So this review says deep, deepand fun.
I highly recommend this podcastfor deep, thoughtful dives
along with lots of compassionand fun.
Holly's insights and healingvoice are a balm for the soul.
(50:27):
You'll be fed and nourishedwhile learning and growing with
this podcast.
Holly speaks from wholeness.
Everything is welcome andeverything is a part of the
experience.
Thank you, holly, for this giftof this podcast and thank you,
listener, for leaving thisamazing review, for listening to
this podcast and allowing me toshare this offering.
(50:49):
And one more thing we now havea free, intentional living
community on Discord where youcan come together with fellow
listeners to reflect on theconversations we've had on the
podcast.
We not only talk about thepodcast, but really all the
things that support us in livingwith intention.
There's also a link in the shownotes to join this free
(51:11):
community and I would be honoredto have you there, and the
first 15 people to join willenter to win a coaching call
with me.
So some days, the very best thing you can do to
take care of yourself and thepeople around you is to laugh,
and that is exactly what we'regoing to do on the podcast.
Today we are celebrating twowhole years of how the Wise One
Grows and 100 episodes, and theultimate way to celebrate, in my
(00:22):
opinion, is with laughter.
And you're going to get tolaugh your asses off because
you're going to hear my mostembarrassing story and you're
going to hear the mostembarrassing stories of two of
my favorite people.
And one more thing we now havea free, intentional living
community on Discord where youcan come together with fellow
(00:44):
listeners to reflect on theconversations we've had on the
podcast.
We not only talk about thepodcast, but really all the
things that support us in livingwith intention.
There's also a link in the shownotes to join this free
community, and I would behonored to have you there and
the first 15 people to join willenter to win a coaching call
(01:05):
with me.
But before we get started,let's just take a moment to land
here together with three deepbreaths.
So take a moment to noticewhere your body makes contact
with the earth and take a bigbreath in and a big breath out
Again, inhale, exhale, one moreinhale and exhale.
(01:35):
So get ready, it's time tostart laughing.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
It's time to start laughing.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Um, I am so excited.
Today we are recording with twoof my favorite people in the
entire world and this is our100th episode.
And it's also on we'rerecording this on the
anniversary of the very firsthow the Wise Women Grow
(02:05):
recording.
So I just felt like the bestway to celebrate.
Honestly, I didn't actuallyknow it was the two-year
anniversary.
That was just like theuniversity wonderful.
But to celebrate 100 episodes,I was like we need to just laugh
and hang out with two of myfavorite people.
So today I have the one andonly Kelly Everly and Emma Hearn
(02:31):
Rounds of applause.
Luna is also joining the show,and Luna, so you'll definitely
hear Luna throughout today, butI thought that the best way to
get to know these people was soyou don't know at all.
Sidebar here.
You actually do know emma hearn.
She was in episodes 12 and 50on the podcast and they are both
(02:52):
linked in the show notes is toshare our most embarrassing
stories I just feel like thatshould be the way that everyone
meets each other is by sharingtheir most embarrassing stories
that'd'd be a fast icebreakerRight.
I mean like if you can't knowthe realest shit about me quite
literally like what are we doing?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I think this is just going to evolve into us telling
bathroom stories, which is greatwhen you're meeting people,
because you're like I wasintimidated by that girl, but
then I learned how she shit herpants.
It's always it is.
That's the thing that I'm kindof like.
You know how they say whenyou're nervous, to picture
people in that, like, pictureeveryone in the audience in
their underwear.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I forget.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
It might be my mom.
Do you prefer to?
Speaker 3 (03:33):
see them shitting their pants.
No, my mom I think it was mymom who first was like, just
remember, everyone gets diarrheasometimes.
Like it's not that it's like.
Even whoever you're intimidatedby diarrhea get the runs.
We should just start doing adsfor like, like, natural body,
(03:54):
disasters, natural body.
Why do we describe them thatway?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
natural.
I had a natural body disaster.
Natural body disaster today, um, but I feel like the best way
to solve who goes first as Emmasuggested is go to a fashion
game Rock paper scissors shoot.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
How do we do it?
Three?
Speaker 2 (04:13):
ways I think whoever.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
I think normally you can do it with three people and
then like one whoever's outfirst.
I think has to go first, oh,whoever loses first, Okay, all
right, Okay first.
Oh, whoever loses first Rockpaper scissors shoot.
We all got scissors Ready Rockpaper scissors, shoot MJ.
(04:38):
So now we go.
Wait, wait, wait, Emma, and Iwon't watch Emma and I both lost
.
Wait, I did scissors.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Those fools did paper .
Those fools.
Rock paper scissors shoot Tworocks.
Rock paper scissors shoot Twopapers.
Rock paper scissors shoot Tworocks.
It's like they live together.
Oh no, emma's stuck it.
Emma won with some paper overrock, I kind of forgot which one
wins honestly.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
For a second I got excited I was like rock is
stronger than paper.
I don't think that one reallymakes sense.
Like paper can cover rock, butif you're outside and it rains,
like I think rock likeultimately wins everything.
But Rules are rules.
This actually works best for me, because then I can get mine
out of the way and then just sitback while you fools have to be
nervous.
(05:23):
Oh, so that was a strategy.
Um, okay, I, this is the onethat I like thought of.
Also, I don't know if I I'vetold you.
Have I told you about my crewstory?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I haven't heard it.
Remember we, we oathed, wetalked about this idea.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Well, did you guys go behind my back and told each
other?
No, no, no no, but she's knownthis, like this, view has gone
on until 10 years ago.
And there's like the commonlink.
So she knows the dirt on bothof us.
Yeah, that's true.
Do you know Holly's mostembarrassing story?
Surely I have so many.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
It's definitely got to do with poop.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Why are you going to spoil things for me?
Sorry, how are?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
you going to?
Speaker 3 (06:00):
be like that.
Well, we'll get to that laterAll right All right, I'll kick
things off light and easy.
Mine is a piss story.
You got one of those too, whodoesn't Okay.
I had one problem in middleschool, high school, college
Yesterday.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
It's happening on me right now.
Anyway, okay, it's happening onme right now.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Anyway, okay.
This is my embarrassing peestory which I'm really hoping,
like now, as I'm saying it, I'mlike oh my God, my old crew
coach is going to hear thisepisode somehow and know.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
But you know what it is, what it is.
Sorry, mr Mahon.
Okay Okay.
So when I was younger, I didcrew like rowing she's from
Connecticut, oh, okay.
So when I was younger, I didcrew like rowing she's from
Connecticut.
All right, you grew up on agolf course bitch, we all have
something.
(06:56):
I'm from Connecticut, I rodecrew, but there was one day we
did summer crew that was likefirst thing in the morning you
had to be at the lake at likeseven, I want to say, and you
did not mess around with beinglate because the coach was
intense and I was late and I had, like I had to pee, to the
(07:18):
point where I had to pee already.
It was already an emergencybefore I left the house.
But I was like I can't be late,so I'm not going to, so I'm
going to pee when I get there.
Nope, I got there, everyone wasalready in the boat ready to go
and the coach was like get inthe boat now, like you're late.
So I was like, oh my God.
So I didn't, I didn't speak upand I just was like it's fine, I
(07:43):
didn't speak up and I just waslike it's fine, I'm sure I can
hold it for an hour longpractice.
Also this is okay, maybe one ofyou is going to have to explain
the visuals of this, because ifyou don't know about crew, I
was the coxswain that day.
Which means I don't know whatthat is Okay, I'm going to
explain it to you, and thenyou'll have to explain it
(08:04):
visually for the podcast.
Okay, so Kelly is doing shakesfor us so everyone's are like
this is what my yoga teachingcompany is crisscross applesauce
.
Wait, I'm not starting it.
There are 8 people rowing inthe boat and then the 9th person
is the coxswain, who faces allof them and tells them to row
with a little yes, but are yourowing?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
no, and here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
No, no, no no, no, no .
Speaker 2 (08:30):
I want to be very clear because it's always
assumed.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
When people see my height especially, people are
like coxswain a coxswain andyou're.
You have a little microphone sothat everyone can hear you,
which is called a cox box.
Nice, and you go, bro.
Yeah, there's so much to worryabout this is gonna be a lot of
backstory before we even get tothe second episode she's just
trying to tell us about rowing,so she doesn't tell us about p.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
No, no, no, okay, here's the deal.
You'll get it in one second.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
So I'm very proud of the fact that I did row, because
I'm a strong bitch but I'm ashort bitch.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
But this particular day I was late, so he was like
you're the coxswain, get in theboat now so I got in the boat.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
The whole issue with this setup is that there are
eight people facing you and then, when you're in the coxswain,
your legs are up, basically likein stirrups, facing the first
person.
Who's?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
like rowing towards you and away from you, so
everyone just has a visual.
Like straight into the crotch.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Of your crotch and meanwhile I'm in this little and
I have to pee, so bad and I'mlike just get through it, kelly,
just you got this, you got this.
But I'm like row, row, row,just like trying to like not
think about it also, you're on alake and so you're just hearing
like the swishing of like itwas bad.
(09:53):
We got out into the lake.
I was like this is just.
It was the kind of I need topee, where I felt feverish
because I had been holding itfor so long and I was like this
isn't happening it's over so itjust keeps getting worse.
So I peed.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I mean you know, so did you, like I do notify anyone
, did you?
Speaker 3 (10:11):
or did you have a moment where you were like I'm
just gonna let this.
I pictured it like shooting outof you like a waterfall into
the people that you're yellingat.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
I got a strong.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Yeah, I was like I want to know the physics, how
you feel she's really got itdown A geyser.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I believe in you.
No, I just peed Like a normalwoman, but you're in stirrups.
I am, but I think my Vag isstill down.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
I wasn't like.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
My question was stir up?
I am, but I think my vag isstill down.
I wasn't like in love, did you?
My question was did you, wereyou like?
I feel like in those moments Ihave a moment of I've lost
control.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's happening.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Yeah, and we're just gonna let the body do what the
body's gonna do.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
It was such.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Or were you just like oh no, it happened.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
No, no, no.
Who's in charge?
Speaker 3 (11:03):
here.
No, there was a full moment ofcomplete defeat.
I was like it's over, the fighthas been lost.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
I know High school career I've held on so long and
I can't hold on anymore.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
This was probably the summer before my freshman year.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
That's a great time for that.
How old are?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
you in eighth grade 13?
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Thirteen fourteen Right before freshman year.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
That's and this is with people you're going to high
school with.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yes, yeah, that's right, and this is with.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I specifically remember the girl in front of me
was, like a badass, one yearolder than me.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
So she's already in high school.
Speaker 3 (11:35):
So I was like I'd like to do some investigative
journalism to the people in theboat.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Do they know?
Oh?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
it gets so much worse .
All of this is build up.
I peed and there's more, sobasically, at this point I have
fully lost it.
I'm like admit to feed you peed.
You're peeing right now and I'mthis close to the next girl
who's just like rowing lookingat me as I'm like row Row.
(12:04):
I'm just like rowing looking atme as I'm like row row, like
just like pissing my, my seat,oh my gosh.
Um.
So then I panic after it'shappened and I'm like well, I've
already peed, so naturally Ijust start to splash water into
the boat, for sure yeah, you gotit.
(12:24):
I was like I'm just gonna coverthis up and actually I'm just,
and I'm sure the girl right infront of me was like why is she?
Speaker 2 (12:31):
trying to put more water in the boat.
That's not how boats work.
I'd rather you think I'm bad atboat.
Yeah, I was just like likehandfuls of water in the boat.
I'm like water in my lap.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Okay, this is where, this is where it all goes wrong.
So so basically, then wefinally row back to the shore.
Our coach is like all right,come back in.
And when you're in crew,there's like an order of things
where you get out of the boat acertain way and then everyone,
like like, leans over on thedock once you're out of the boat
(13:11):
to pick it up by, like theriggers where your seat is.
And then it's like an order ofcommands where it's like up to
up to hips.
How much longer is this afteryou leave?
That's a great question.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
It probably was like an annoyingly short amount of
time like I held on until Icouldn't, and then they were
like all right, bring it back in, and I'm like great yeah
exactly as soon as I peed, theywere like and they're like
someone peed, someone peed.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Hey, we clearly have to leave.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Someone pissed the boat someone called kelly's mom
yeah, she needs to go home,she's scared.
So, basically, this is thething where I'm like, okay,
whatever, I've splashed so muchwater into this, but this is my
plan.
I'm just we're gonna dowhatever the commands were that
were like up to shoulder or upto hips, up to shoulders, and
(13:59):
then you would roll the boatover top of your head.
Kelly's feet is just going topour on everything.
Well, no, here's the thing Iwas like.
You are in charge of your ownseat.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
So I'm going to be the last one to be like overhead
.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I'm going to step out of the way because I know and
it's going to be fine, so you'vegot to play Instead.
I knew I was like.
I gamed this out At the verylast minute.
Coach, I should not be sayinghis real name.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
I'm like actually like nervous about this.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
He does not know this , Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
He at the last minute went, I got that.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Kel and grabs my thing and goes over it and they
lift it up over him and he goesall over him and he literally
goes cool, a lot of water inthere today and then just walks
like they all walk it into theboathouse and I just was like
wait, did you tell anyone?
Like not for so long?
(14:58):
Yeah, that is to this day Ithink I'm like yeah until this
podcast gets somehow back tocoach m
wow, that's my story of how Ikeep on my coach I'm just
impressed with you.
That sounds worse.
Yeah, because you executed thatand it sounds like you added a
(15:18):
lot of water in the boat to getaway with it yeah I still think
about that, though I'm like hehad to know right, he was like
no, you wouldn't have to know.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't think yeah I don't think you would know
unless you don't think it wouldbe like.
This doesn't smell, you'redehydrated and hadn't had.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
This is like okay, maybe I got away with it I think
you got away well, that Well,that's my embarrassing story.
Wow, that's impressive World.
You know Kelly At her finest.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Bladder and all Bladder and all Dying little
bladder.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Okay, time for story number two.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Paper scissors shoot.
I am so good, I am so good, Iam so good, I'm in.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Emily with a scissor paper.
Well, this was actually.
It was definitely a paper.
This was actually Cliff she'strying to defend.
This is Cliff.
What does Cliff mean?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
It's a male person.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Not like Cliff, okay cheat.
So my name is Emma Hearn andthis is my embarrassing story.
We're ready Maybe 2016, maybe2017.
This was the time when peoplewould just come over to our
house as if it was their ownhouse.
Yeah, yeah, and I was nannying,I was trying to get my music
(16:33):
career going and it was like oneof those times when you should
choose to sleep well, work andsocial you remember that?
because that's what they told usat st michael's.
Really, that's what they toldus.
That's brainwashing, I know wewell, I chose.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I've never heard of this.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Yeah, like you're a healthy lifestyle have, like
sports social life like restacademics.
And it was like, yeah, choose,pick three, three, yeah.
And then I heard the same thing, like just in general in life,
like don't try and do it allsleep or social.
You can't do three all at thesame time.
And I was trying to do threeall at the same time and um was
(17:16):
sick all the time because I wasnannying, which?
I'm not nannying and yeah let'schange we're still in, yeah know
yeah, and that night this wasin the days of tinder.
Oh, this is my one and onlytinder story.
(17:38):
Okay, set the scene I've beennannying all day Wasn't great,
and you'll hear more about yourdecision if you want to have
kids or not have kids in anupcoming episode.
(17:58):
And so I was also like dealingwith I think it was on the tail
end of like having some type oflike strep throat thing, because
I was given cough, medicatedcough syrup from my doctor.
Don't do a spit take, don't doit.
I was giving, I was justfollowing instructions.
I was given medicated coughsyrup.
I think I was still on that andI came back to my house and some
(18:21):
of our friends.
I want to say like Zach andthose people, kelly, all those
people were at the house and Iwas like, oh, I have this.
I'm supposed to meet thisperson at Dino's.
It's my first tender datetonight, but I just don't feel
good and I'm retired because I'msick.
And I think Zach was the one Iwas like you never, like you're
(18:44):
always with all of us, likeyou're with you're the guys,
you're with the band.
You're never gonna meet anyone,you're gonna die alone so to
the supportive friends that weare like go anyway, go on cough
syrup, and so not even thinkingno one here knows that I'm on
cough syrup and I'm like, I'mjust gonna take my medicine
(19:07):
before I go.
I'm gonna take my medicinebefore I go.
I'm gonna drive, I'm gonna haveone beer, I'm gonna have an
okay time.
Come home early, all is goodsay I did it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that was the plan.
I get ready, I'm like I don'twant to do this and take my
cough syrup and go on my date.
(19:29):
And when I get there, it'sDino's, which is the bar.
This was where the place to be.
Me, kelly and Holly spent waytoo much time, so much, so much
time.
And this was in the heyday, whenthey also would have jazz night
.
So great start to night andit's just a dive bar and they
(19:51):
just have people in the cornerplaying jazz.
Love, yeah, iconic.
Yes, easter egg, one of theguys playing jazz was the guy I
would date later.
Thank, you stay tuned, old mansam.
So I meet this guy.
It's like there are pictures ontinder but he's like insert
(20:14):
band boy in Nashville so I'mlike I kind of know what he
looks like and this is going tobe a good place because safety,
this will be a good place tomeet because I guarantee there
are five people.
I will already know that are atthis bar too, Plus, everybody
else knows where I am, so go inthere.
He's at the bar, he comes up.
He's really very nice, verylong hair.
(20:37):
Some would say too long.
Okay, would you say too long.
She's bringing her hands liketo her waist, yeah, so yeah, too
long.
Okay, very cute, you can seethat this is her thing.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
You know like you identified her Rapunzel,
rapunzel, yeah okay, that's yourvibe.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Part two Otherwise wonderful.
Speaker 3 (21:03):
So he comes up, he's very sweet and he's just like to
be honest, I'm pretty nervous Itold the bartender I was here
for like a date, a tinder date,and then I'm pretty nervous.
So him and I took one shot.
The bartender was trying tolike amp me up and I was like
that's good.
And then we're saying like that, the cough syrup was already
(21:24):
starting to hit.
That's dope, yeah.
And I would just like to saythis medicated cough syrup.
I did, I genuinely did not knowthat you should not drink
medicated cough syrup.
Me neither, so in my head I waslike oh, it's something you take
to just suppress a cough rightLike a throat soother kind of
(21:45):
thing.
If you've heard of leaning,it's when you mix cough syrup
scissor with alcohol so that youkind of get near hallucination.
So you scissor yes, I wasleaning.
By the end of the night LeaningI've never heard.
Yes, she was leaning, I lovethe idea that Emma's the one to
(22:08):
teach us about like drugs.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Yeah, have you ever heard?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
of.
So I get there, we're actuallyhaving a great date.
I would like.
Well, I'm high, so I was like Iremember this fondly.
I I had a great time.
I was like he is very kind, heis a musician.
The colors are more vivid thanI've ever seen.
(22:33):
I love jazz.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
I love jazz, jazz hands.
Emma just did jazz hands.
Speaker 3 (22:40):
This was also the era when I was trying to be a tough
rock and roll girl, so Iordered whiskey meat or whiskey
with on ice.
So this is the part of thestory where you make Mike proud.
Yes, but this is also after you.
I'm for my father, okay soactually, mike, you do have to
(23:01):
listen to this, sponsored byJack Daniels.
I like that this started outwith you being like I'm gonna go
, I'm gonna have one beer.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
So naturally I go.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
I get whiskey neat.
Because I'm cool and I'm notlike the other girls.
I'm not like the other girls.
I'm different.
I feel different, hi Hi,leaning, leaning, leaning.
So anyway, I know, don't do it,kids.
(23:32):
This is sponsored by DARE.
Just saying no.
So this was a bad decision.
And then I am now high.
I remember the date fondly.
I suddenly realized this onedrink has hit me like a brick
(23:52):
wall because it's been mixedwith my medicated cough syrup.
I look at him.
I think we've had a good time.
We're like hanging out.
I had one drink, we had frenchfries, we're having a good time.
And I say I can't drive home.
And he's like oh, I was likewill you drive me home?
(24:14):
Also probably not a good idea,but you know, you just kind of
sense it out and I was like it'sjust up the street, he hasn't
been drinking a lot.
Will you drive me home?
And he goes.
She's trying so hard to defendhimself, been drinking a lot.
Will you drive me home?
And he goes.
Okay, so I did start this outby saying he had a shot.
His hair is so long that hecan't respond to we drive,
(24:35):
you're not advising I was young.
You have to learn from yourmistakes.
Don't listen to emma.
Don't listen to Emma.
She was leaning, I was leaning,Okay.
Anyway, I don't know how I saidthis, but it was like can?
We get out of here, Can youdrive me?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
And he was like oh, you want to go back to my place
and I was like no, I do not.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
You can drive me home , to my home, to my home where I
live, which is a short fewblocks away.
Then you will depart and thenyou leave.
Sir, I have a house full offriends, your hair is far too
long, it's full of secrets, andso he is a gentleman in a
darkened home.
I got in the car a little bitand then I decided to abruptly
(25:23):
stop making out with him becauseI'm also.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
My tummy is feeling a little weird, okay a little
weird, and so then I open up thedoor.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
I'm like, okay, this is fun, bye, open up the door,
jump out and I close the doorand I'm walking up to my house
and he rolls down the window andhe's like am I ever gonna see
you again?
That was so fun.
And I say probably not.
And then I go inside becauseI'm on drugs.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I thought you were gonna say probably not, and I
projectile no, that's coming.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Oh, oh yeah, I was like what happened with your
weird?
Feeling tummy, and so I quietlyopen the door because I think
Quietly but you're on scissorOkay well, kelly was there, I
think, so Kelly can do thefollow up story.
I'm quietly opening the door andI quietly shut it behind me and
I turn around and all of ourfriends are still there Because
(26:23):
they haven't gone home.
They're like well, well, well,it is a little genre I.
It becomes very apparent that Iam hammered off of this one
drink.
I left my car at the bar and Idon't know defending yourself I
Speaker 2 (26:43):
do not drink and drive.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
I don't know I goending herself Do not drink
and drive.
I don't know.
I go in and I'm like, yeah, I'mtrying to keep it under control
, it's not going well, she's notin control.
I remember asking someone maybeKelly?
I was like I need a peanutbutter sandwich.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I need a peanut butter sandwich.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
Oh yeah, who's going to make it for me?
Because the little princesscan't make it.
This is who's gonna make it forme, because little princess
can't make it so this is what Ihad to deal with back in the day
.
Fast forward, I don't know whathappened from the time where I
asked for peanut butter sandwichto no one made it for you is
what happened, so you have to beleft to your own resources.
(27:22):
And I put my hands in the peanutbutter container and I start to
finger paint is the only way todescribe this.
On our table.
Yeah, question mark, she's likeI'm happy Flashback, smearing
the peanut butter, not eating it.
No one's helping me.
Whoa, you did sound like youwere having fun.
(27:44):
I have my own version of thisstory to tell after this.
Oh, great To clarify.
And then at some point, thepeanut butter's no longer on my
hands.
I go into my room because Ithink Kelly's like let's get you
a glass of water and put yourPJs on, because you were the
only one defending me, that'sright, and I kind of made.
And then she switches fromKelly wasn't helping me, because
(28:08):
it's coming back to me.
And then I remember I think Idon't fully get in my pajamas.
Oh, oh, you're like.
You're like why don't you putyour pajamas on?
I'm going to go get you a glassof water is how I remember this
yes, I'm partially pajama andKelly goes to get me partially
(28:31):
pajama and in my bed and I have,I think.
You think that I've just fallenasleep, yeah, yeah, but I also
threw up all over the floorbefore that.
Yes, nice, how did I miss that?
Because I have a special thingwhere if I'm going to throw up,
(28:53):
I have to lay flat or else Iwill pass out.
So I knew that, because I havethis special thing where if I'm
going to grow up, I have to layflat or else I will pass out.
So I knew that and I laid flaton the bed and just said this is
fine, this will do.
We need to clarify flat not onyour back, flat on your side, on
my side, on my side, Flat on myside.
I'm like I would not have lovedyou.
The floor is fine here.
I would not have loved you.
And I said the floor is finehere, and I know that I didn't
(29:15):
put on my Dino shirt because I'ma Dino's girly through and
through, because my shirt wasalso on the floor and if you've
had a Dino shirt you've grown upon it.
At least once I puked tikkamasal on mine.
I never have.
There's still time, we'll getthere, we'll get there.
Oh, you guys, yeah.
And then I have passed out atthis point just probably 30
(29:37):
minutes post, coming in thefront door, gone to sleep now
because I have to nanny at 7amthe next morning.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
And.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I wake up the next morning, running late for work,
go over next door to where I'mnannying and the mom opens the
door and said hi, are youfeeling okay today?
And I was like, yeah, just momopens the door and said, hi, are
you?
Feeling okay today and I waslike, yeah, just because I am so
incredibly hungover at thispoint, and it's been like during
that time when I look and Ihave a string of text messages
(30:06):
from this guy that's just like,wow, what a great night.
Hope you got home safe.
How did you feel how this went?
I just didn't expect to connectwith someone on such a deep
spiritual level, and it justwent on, and on, and on and on.
And I'm like, sir you, I wenton a Tinder date with you and I
(30:26):
had scissors, was leaning, yeah,you connected with my shadow
self.
I was not there.
I was not there.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
So maybe that is your soulmate, I don't think there.
Speaker 3 (30:34):
I was not there, so maybe that is your soulmate.
I don't think so.
I'm fully team Holly on this.
I don't know when she wouldcontinue, like continually.
I was just like, nah, I waslike, blast that out, no, Is he
still around?
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Is he still in?
Speaker 3 (30:45):
Nashville.
Who's to say he would like come, he would be on tour.
We're going to parent trap Emma.
He would come back into townwhenever he was in town.
He was like in town for threedays on tour.
I would love to take you outfor dinner and I'd be like nah,
Did you ever see him again?
No, Emma, Except for once whenhe was also playing guitar at a
show that I was playing.
(31:05):
But he was like last at theHigh Watt and I was just like
Emma.
Who are you?
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
and that's your soulmate.
Speaker 3 (31:13):
It is not my soulmate .
So that's my story.
Wow, and that was my one andonly timid day.
Here's how I remember the lastpart of it.
I remember getting you at leastpartially into pjs, being like
I will get water, I.
All of that is true.
I don't remember anything withpeanut butter until the next day
(31:35):
.
I don't think this is why Ithink it's possible.
She was waiting for a little.
Did I wake up in the middle ofthe night?
What I think?
Probably happened is that yougot home.
You were trying to play it cool.
We were like, well, well, well,it was an Emma Tinder date.
And then you were probably like, and I was like all right let's
(31:56):
get you in bed.
I got you water.
You puke, whatever.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
I think you fall asleep, and then later, when I
was already asleep, then you getup and start finger painting.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Because the next morning no one is helping her.
Oh my God, she washallucinating, it's all in the
kitchen?
Speaker 3 (32:12):
No one was in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I wish we had like, like you know, those night
vision cameras that are justlike drunkenly like knowing
ratatouille when he'scontrolling.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
I remember the next morning being like why is there
peanut butter all over everysurface?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'd like to formally apologizefor my peanut butter eating, my
peanut butter escapades, if youwill.
The escapades, wow, okay, soyour embarrassing story, you
also like, still managed to havesomeone completely fall in love
(32:47):
with you.
That's very, emma, a version ofmyself, a version who knows,
that is one version, a versionthat we love.
Yeah, we love so deeply and Iwill say did she learn?
No, because then maybe this wasanother time.
I was on cough syrup and Ithink I told this story and Joel
was in town.
(33:07):
He was like you should get yourcough syrup.
I'll make a cocktail with coughsyrup and we did that in
dinty's guys.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Oh so you did that for fun just one other time.
This is not sponsored by darein a controlled environment at
home where it's there drugs,just try them.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Dare do a responsible , responsible experience,
experience nice guys.
Responsible experiences, yeahnice, we just reclaimed it we
did.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
If you haven't already, you should totally join
the Dream Team.
The Dream Team is an amazinggroup of listeners who support
this podcast and make itpossible every month, and you
can join for as little as $3 amonth.
You'll support the podcast,you'll get a special handwritten
postcard from yours truly and ashout out in an upcoming
(34:03):
episode, and if you aren't ableto financially support at this
time, it would mean the world tome If you would consider
following this podcast on yourfavorite streaming platform,
leaving a review they make aworld of difference and sharing
an episode you love with afriend so that we can continue
to learn and grow together.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Okay, you know what time it is.
So, yeah, I'm in collegeCurrently.
It's rough Currently.
Wish no, I don't, I was like,wish I had the worst time in
college.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
I went to UVA, did not have many friends.
Really, I didn't have somegreat friends.
Uva is not a great place, butyeah, so I'm in college at UVA.
I think this is like secondsemester.
I was still hating it.
That never really changed.
Yeah, but we all went to thisMediterranean restaurant that I
really love.
I was so excited to go there.
(35:04):
We got this like amazing food,amazing fish, like loving it,
and we're taking the buses backto our suite.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
Yeah, and I'm on the bus and my stomach starts to
feel bad.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I hate this it's just feel bad.
I'm on the bus with, likeeveryone I live with.
Speaker 3 (35:20):
Oh no and I'm like escape yeah, no escape, but I'm
increasingly like, oh, like.
I'm losing the battle.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
I know I'm losing the battle like I still think I
have like some time to save it,but I'm like I will not make it
all the way to our dorm into thebathroom and I know this for
certain.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
I'm so scared and I'm deeply upset, oh yeah, and I
come up with a great plan.
I'm like oh one of my roommatesis doing this dance thing at
the stadium.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It's in like an hour or two, but like I'm gonna get
off now to check on her.
I tell them I'm like yeah, I'mgonna get off here.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
I'm gonna check on yeah, yeah, like gotta go bye, I
like successfully get off thebus.
Yes, I'm like.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
I see the building oh no, in front of me I'm in in
the middle.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Most of my embarrassing stories happen at a
sports stadium.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Yeah, sports do not.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
I'm in the football stadium parking lot.
I see the student activitiesbuilding that I'm walking to.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
You can do it, I'm like you can't do it, I just
shit my pants.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
You bridesmaids, yeah .
Oh, you bridesmaids, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I bridesmaids all in my jeans in the jeans.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
Oh no, is this?
What time of night this?
Speaker 1 (36:45):
is dark it's winter, it's like 6, 7 maybe 8.
Like it's dark.
Do you have a coat on too?
No, not a long one but like thething is I live with, I live in
a suite full of people, yeah,and there's no like laundry.
I'm like what am?
(37:05):
I'm just like crying.
I call my then boyfriend andlike he parker was so sweet.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
It was like people were walking by and I'm just
like hysterical like they'regonna know, and he's like no, no
, they'll just think like somegod pardon, I'm like no, this is
what do I do?
I call my parents, who are anhour away.
I'm like you have to come takeme out.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
Yes, I will not go back to my.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yeah, I'm like this and they're like we can't do
that, like your sister's there?
Speaker 1 (37:35):
no, she wasn't, she was in richmond.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
So I am like freaking out, and then I call my
sister's roommate and I'm likevictoria, here's what happened
you, gotta you have to pick meup.
She picks me up in the parkinglot as I've just been crying
there for like 30 minutes withpoop in my pants, and she pulls
up and I just lay flat on mystomach and the back seat of her
(38:06):
car.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
So that you don't, so that I don't feel no.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
And then I get to their apartment, she just gives
me a trash bag and I I like gointo the bathroom and just like
Get rid of the evidence, get ridof everything.
Shower, stay at my sister'shouse.
All my roommates and people arelike where are you, are you
okay?
Like and yeah, oh honey, oh,that's rough.
(38:30):
It was rough, was it the fish?
What was the culprit?
Maybe I don't think anyone elsegot sick.
This podcast is not sponsoredby that Mediterranean restaurant
it's not sponsored by fish.
Not sponsored by fish?
Absolutely not.
Oh, that's rough.
Yeah, that is rough.
I got more of them In my head.
(38:52):
She put down cardboard.
No, that's how I felt the storywent, like I love the idea that
you planked in.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
Oh, I just planked in the back seat.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
It was like also how close were you with this?
Like, is this pretty close?
Speaker 2 (39:05):
okay, you're pretty close.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
She was like I will come to you in your time yeah,
for sure, yeah, like I I feltreally close with her.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Obviously, I would have rather not had her be the
one in that scenario.
Speaker 3 (39:16):
But, it was my best option.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
And.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
I'm forever grateful.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (39:21):
But can you?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
imagine if I had to go back to that dorm full of
people that I live with Withshit pants yeah, having shit in
my pants and you'd be shit pantsgirl yeah, forever Wow.
But if you give them some spaceand then tell them, you're shit
pants, girl, then wow.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
but if you give them some space and then tell them
you're shit pants girl, thenit's funny, then it's funny,
then it's funny and then it's onit's character then.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
But they have to love you enough first oh wow, that's
the worst not to take any, andthat was not the last time.
Speaker 3 (39:50):
no that you shat your pants, no, it wasn't well, I
would say yes, definitive.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I would say no, I didn't shit my pants.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Shorts.
I took them off oh.
Speaker 1 (40:09):
I have so many.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
Oh my God, this like slow ping pong game.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
You know, I can't reveal all of my secrets in one
episode.
I have to keep you coming backfor more the owl issues run in
the family?
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Hey, it's real, everyone has them.
Hot girl with tummy issues yeah, ibs yeah the way.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
So now we are all really close and comfortable
with each other.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And I feel like, and so, and I feel like, so are you,
and so are you a listener.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Yeah, I hope you feel like you really know kelly and
emma.
I hope you laughed.
I hope you don't judge us toomuch and I want to hear your
embarrassing story.
Speaker 3 (40:49):
can they write in?
I think anyone who wants toshare their embarrassing stories
should.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
I'm not more If you think yours isn't like too much.
Every story you send in, we'llshare another.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
Yeah, we'll raise you an embarrassing story.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
So if you want these embarrassing stories to keep
going, you can submit yourembarrassing story.
You can leave it anonymous.
You can say your embarrassingstory.
You can leave it anonymous.
You can say your name.
You decide by going tohowthewisewongrowscom there's a
link in the show notes and clickthe microphone in the bottom
right-hand corner.
From there you can leave avoicemail for us of your most
(41:28):
embarrassing story and I'll keepmy word.
For every embarrassing story wereceive, we will give you one
embarrassing story of ours Idon't think yours is.
Speaker 3 (41:39):
Uh, you got, you got drunk.
You made a man fall in lovewith you yeah, you made a
sandwich for yourself you weredrunk at home.
I never once made a sandwichfor myself.
I like the record.
She made a masterpiece, andholly and I get the privilege of
knowing that there is in fact alittle more to the story.
Speaker 2 (41:57):
That does make it a funny, embarrassing story, but
the listeners don't know thatall right, emma kelly.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Any final words for the listeners?
What?
Speaker 3 (42:05):
do you want them?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
to know about you, aside your embarrassing story.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
I have better bladder control now do I?
Speaker 2 (42:13):
But I don't row anymore so.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
That will never happen to me again.
I feel like your embarrassingstories make you stronger.
They define you or what you dowith them, or if you don't ever
tell anyone them, that's okaytoo.
You are, that's telling.
Yeah, you're more than justyour embarrassing stories.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Yeah, you're more than your big mom and everyone
everybody poops their pants morethan others, once a quarter,
once a quarter if you're a goodbusiness woman.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
If you're a good business woman shit your pants
once a Keeps you honest.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
Welcome back to how the Wise One Grows and my
friend's gonna tell a story now,yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:07):
Okay.
So we all know, we all knowthat I've had stomach issues
from a young age.
Tell me problems, if you will.
Hot girl IBS.
Hot girl IBS as regaining likeproper Use, use of my intestines
(43:41):
.
I would say, like I was at thepoint where I was like, oh, this
isn't college, no, no, no, no,this was early, early Nashville.
Okay, like my stomach wasstarting to get better, mm-hmm,
it wasn't like, oh, I'm eitherlike not shitting or I have to
shit in the next 10 seconds.
Yeah, you know, there was likenot there was not a lot of
wiggle room between that, and soI was.
(44:03):
I don't even know who I waswith.
I was with someone.
I blocked this out.
I kind of forgot I did this.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Like that's, how Was this after I moved?
Speaker 3 (44:10):
Yes, you were no longer there.
You were there, you.
Yes, you were no longer there,you were there, you weren't
there, and I don't know, aboutit?
No, you don't know about it.
No one knows about this Is thisreally You've never told this
story.
I've only told one personbecause it happened to them in
the same place and they saidthis to me and I fell down
(44:31):
laughing so hard because I waslike what are the chances?
Are you going to reveal who theother person is?
That's fine, I will never Okay,that's fine.
And so I am at a, I am at thecoffee shop and I am having some
coffee and maybe a treat or two, and I'm like Ooh, ooh, huh, I
(44:57):
have to go to the bathroom.
I really have to go to thebathroom.
And I was still at the stagewhere I was like I would try to
drive home if I could.
Yeah, yeah, public is not.
And because this specificcoffee shop, their like lock
didn't always work, yes, and Ishit, and that's normal, and
(45:17):
that's fine in the toilet.
Okay, there's not a problem inthe story yet.
Uh-huh, yet you gave meoperative word, and then I flush
the toilet and the toiletdoesn't work and it's not like
it's clogged, clogged, it's justnot working.
And I remember, like huh, Iremember that this is kind of a
(45:41):
finicky.
They have two bathrooms andthis is like the one that's more
finicky and it's busy time andthere are people and people line
up outside of that bathroom inthe corridor and I am like I
I'll, I'll die before I walk outof here with a shit filled
toilet.
(46:02):
So naturally I have to disposeof the evidence no no, whatever
you're about to say is going tobe so much worse than just
leaving in a shitty.
I don't know why my brain waslike you have to get rid of the
even shitty.
I don't know why my brain waslike you have to get rid of the
(46:24):
bomb.
That's hilarious, I don't knowwhy.
I don't know why you could havepretended it was something else
.
That's when you just walk outand go.
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (46:35):
God, the guy who was in here really left a mess.
I don't know I don't know whathappened.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Something malfunctioned in my brain and I
was like this is your onlyoption?
Look at yourself in the mirror.
You never look at yourself thesame way.
Buck up, Buck up, Herne.
It's time to scoop the poop.
And I look around.
I look around to see what I canuse and where I can dispose of
it.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
And what did you come ?
Speaker 3 (47:04):
up with.
I'm so scared right now.
Not just napkins, no, the sink.
Bare hands, you ate it, sorry,awesome.
I look around and I decide I'mgoing to use the plunger,
because first I'm using theplunger Like Scoopy, I see what
you're saying.
Oh, it's like you use the.
Yeah, first I try to use theplunger.
(47:26):
So I'm like maybe it's clogged,yeah, maybe this will be okay.
Yeah, emma crying, so maybeit'll be okay.
Someone's knocked on the doorat this point.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, of course.
So now there's a clock.
Speaker 3 (47:39):
There's a clock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, countdown ison.
I can't do option A, Kelly,because I've been in here.
Yeah, I can't just be like I.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
Yeah, I've been hanging out in here with this
toilet full of someone else'sshit.
Speaker 3 (47:55):
And so I use the plunger and I scoop it out.
But before that had to be sohard to do.
It was so hard I didn't get itall but enough.
I was like this is better,uh-huh, and I put it in the
trash can and I close the trashcan and I sit the plunger down
(48:19):
and I walk out of there and Idon't come back for a year and a
half oh my gosh, my friend hadalready paid and I was like,
great, good, let's go.
You were there with someone.
I was like we gotta go yeahgood, you already paid.
Great, okay, I'm gonna leave,let's go.
Yep, time to go bye.
And I left and I didn't comeback for at least a year and I
(48:41):
thought to myself you've workedat restaurants.
What if you were the person?
The person who has to take thecharge.
And that's when, years later, Ifound out that I have a friend
who did the exact same thing.
So I'm like like, are they usedto that?
Is that something?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
that people do.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Specifically there in the toilet, toilet where you
don't think you can just walkout?
Scoop the poop once.
Shame on you.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (49:11):
I mean that toilet should have been fixed.
If that's the second or moretime that someone has had to
manually remove their shit itwas in her bag In the toilet.
Does that help?
Not the toilet In the trash, no, in the trash.
I kind of wish it would likethey have like a little wicker
waste basket instead.
(49:32):
You know she wouldn't have doneit, I couldn't yeah.
Speaker 2 (49:34):
I don't know what.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
I would have done.
I looked around when that firsthappened.
I looked around to see if therewas a window, no, to crawl out.
Speaker 2 (49:41):
Oh, I was like to throw it out of, like the old
days.
Speaker 3 (49:43):
That's what I was saying.
No, I would have crawled outthe window.
If there wasn't a workingwindow, I would have left that
way, or you just made out theperson who's talking there would
have been no bathrooms.
Speaker 2 (49:55):
that's why you just stay there until they're like
man, we're closing.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
What's happening?
I didn't, I didn't have anoption that is my most
embarrassing story and I havenever told anyone wow, thank you
for sharing that.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yes, thank you for holding this good.
I want to share a specialreview with you all.
So this review says deep, deepand fun.
I highly recommend this podcastfor deep, thoughtful dives
along with lots of compassionand fun.
Holly's insights and healingvoice are a balm for the soul.
(50:27):
You'll be fed and nourishedwhile learning and growing with
this podcast.
Holly speaks from wholeness.
Everything is welcome andeverything is a part of the
experience.
Thank you, holly, for this giftof this podcast and thank you,
listener, for leaving thisamazing review, for listening to
this podcast and allowing me toshare this offering.
(50:49):
And one more thing we now havea free, intentional living
community on Discord where youcan come together with fellow
listeners to reflect on theconversations we've had on the
podcast.
We not only talk about thepodcast, but really all the
things that support us in livingwith intention.
There's also a link in the shownotes to join this free
(51:11):
community and I would be honoredto have you there, and the
first 15 people to join willenter to win a coaching call
with me.
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