September 2, 2025 • 48 mins
Ever notice how traditional self-care advice makes you want to scream? Those peaceful meditation sessions and serene bubble baths that work for everyone else feel like torture for your constantly-moving ADHD brain. Turns out, our brains need something completely different—and we've got seven research-backed strategies that actually work.
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—
Who Should Listen
This episode is for anyone with ADHD who's tired of self-care advice that leaves them feeling worse instead of better. If you've ever tried to "just relax" and ended up more anxious, or attempted meditation only to feel like your brain was about to explode, this one's for you. We're talking real self-care for brains that don't sit still.
—
What You Get In This Episode
- Why traditional self-care fails ADHD brains – And why it's not your fault that meditation feels like punishment
- Seven science-backed strategies that actually work – From flexible routines to strategic movement and protein timing
- The sleep game-changer – Recent research on what really disrupts ADHD sleep (hint: it's not just screen time)
- "Unhinged" self-care hacks we actually use – Face masks to trick yourself into showering, adding completed tasks to your to-do list, and why Tetris after stress is scientifically legit
- How to eliminate "should" from your vocabulary – And why small moments of joy aren't luxuries, they're essential maintenance
—
Bios
Caitlin is joined by special guest Ariella Monti, novelist and friend, filling in for Jenny. Together they're diving into self-care that actually makes sense for ADHD brains—no sitting still required. They're not wellness gurus or mental health professionals, just two women sharing what actually works when your brain runs on a different operating system.
—
Sources & Mentions
- Get the links to all sources mentioned in this episode in this week’s blog post.
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- Get 20% off Ariella Monti's fantasy romance novel "Roots and Ink" with promo code CKANDGK at AriellaMonti.com
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CK & GK
View our website at ckandgkpodcast.com. Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caitlin (00:00):
guys guess what, but it is, it is.
If you didn't listen to lastweek's episode, you should,
because that's what makes thateven funnier okay, um, it's a
callback.
It's a callback.
Yes, it is.
Uh, this episode is the lastepisode of season four what I
(00:25):
know, I say that I say that asthough I've been, you've done
like half of this season with us, though you've been here for
like true it's been.
Yeah, I was looking at.
You've done like 30 someepisodes with us.
Did you know that?
Ariella (00:39):
oh really, yeah, no, I'm serious, yeah it's, it's
wild.
Caitlin (00:43):
You've done a lot, um yeah, so good for you.
I'm I'm.
169 episodes in nice yeah, Ithink you're like right around
40 or so.
Given the other ones that you'vedone with us, you're pretty
close, okay, yeah, nice, nevermind, I need to give you all the
links to stuff and it doesndoesn't matter.
(01:04):
Not the point.
We're not talking about thatright now.
We're all so glad you're herefor our last episode of season
four.
This is how to be a grownup.
This is the how to show formoms who get distracted when
they're Googling how to stopprocrastinating.
Yay, I'm Caitlin.
This is Ariella Monti.
She's a novelist and a rainbowdisco ball that hyperfixates
(01:26):
flawlessly.
Yes, I still like the pirateone, the swashbuckling pirate
one is still my favorite.
Ariella (01:34):
I was trying to figure out how to put that into some of
my marketing.
Caitlin (01:39):
Oh, we're going to do it, we're figuring it out.
Ariella (01:42):
Yeah, yeah.
Caitlin (01:49):
Last time we how do I?
That was was ridiculous.
It's right in front of me.
Last time we talked about theshame and stigma of adhd and
some ways, eight different ways.
I just put up the number fiveon the screen but said eight,
eight different ways to overcomeshame and stigma behind adhd.
Be sure to listen to that.
If that applies to you, if youare one of those who has the
ADHD shame no shame, it happensto all of us Go listen to it.
(02:12):
But we're talking today aboutovercoming more of that and
treating yourself well withself-care tips Wow, self-care
tips, good Lord, specific toADHDers.
Are you following us on socialyet?
(02:33):
Are you?
I bet you're not.
If you are, you're cool, you'repart of the Cool Kids Club.
If you're not, you can be partof the cool kids club if you
follow us.
We are at ck and gk podcast onall the places I just don't care
about twitter and at arielaunderscore monty on threads,
instagram, the tickety talk allthe places.
(02:55):
But let's keep going here.
We're going to share thesources.
The sources are, of course,attitude max, because that is
the holy grail of ADHDinformation.
There's a few differentarticles I pulled from there.
There's also one from the ADHDFoundation, the ADHD Center, the
(03:17):
Fancy Way to Spell Center, theBritish Way with the R-E instead
of the E-R.
Yep, oh yeah.
Yeah, it's fancy.
There's a few creators likeADHD Understood on Instagram,
which is a great one.
Adhd underscore understood howto ADHD on YouTube, which I
really like.
Another source was this podcastepisode called ADHD and
(03:39):
Self-Care on understoodorg.
If you don't hang out onunderstoodorg, you should.
It's a great website.
I've heard about this bookcalled Dirty Laundry by Richard
Pink and Roxanne Emery, which isabout ADHD-friendly
relationships, and then an appthat I recently learned about
called Finch, this ADHDself-care friendly sort of app.
(04:04):
So I'm going to dig into thatand see if I like it, but I've
heard about it.
So if you're someone who hasspinch, please DM us and let us
know what I need to know and ifI should take the time to tinker
with it.
Here's our disclaimer we are notdoctors, nor are we mental
health professionals.
If you feel burned out or ifyou feel like you often need to
activate your emergency responsetechniques, please seek out
(04:27):
help from a licensedprofessional.
Self-care is not a cure forlike full-on breakdown and
burnout, so just you know.
Keep that in mind.
Okay, so we're going to go backa little bit here 30 episodes
and talk about what self-care is.
Here's my definition that I'vegiven many, many, many times.
(04:50):
It is the things that you dofor yourself to help you feel
like yourself.
The purpose is to be able tohelp you give your best to tasks
and to other people.
When it's needed, like when youhave a huge work project or
your kid's up sick all night,self-care is what helps you have
(05:10):
the bandwidth to handle thosethings.
Self-care is a habit.
It's a daily practice thatinvolves many different types of
activities and strategies.
It's not something you have toearn.
You don't have to deserveself-care.
It's health.
So just keep that in mind.
Adhd people, it's thetraditional methods of self-care
(05:35):
, like you know bubble baths andjust relax, read a book, unwind
.
It doesn't work.
We've talked about this beforeMindfulness and meditation.
For me, I cannot.
My brain is just constantlygoing during those times and I
have a very difficult timeturning it off.
(05:55):
I'll put fidgets in my hand, itdoesn't matter.
I really struggle with thosethings.
So personally, I'm eithervibrating at like a thousand
percent or I'm crashing into adopamine void and in a sit pit.
So it is one or the other.
It's very rarely any sort ofcombination.
So today we're ditching scentedcandles and ohms for real ADHD
(06:18):
friendly self-care and the kindthat doesn't require you to sit
still.
If you can't do that, Ipersonally am not an expert on
why self-care matters for peoplewith ADHD.
We already know why it mattersfor everybody, but why, in
particular, it matters forpeople with ADHD.
So this is what happens to mewhen I neglect my self-care, and
I imagine for you, ariella,it's fairly similar, but all of
(06:40):
my symptoms get worse.
All of my symptoms get worse,Every single symptom.
My meds don't work as wellbecause I'm just more easily
irritated and overwhelmed.
My anxiety increases, like Ican't focus on anything.
I am a complete basket casewhen I neglect my self-care,
(07:02):
regardless of how medicated I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah definitely Ifyou're a neurotypical person.
A lack of self-care elevatesall of those kinds of things
normally right.
But if you're neuro-spicy inany kind of way, it's just worse
, like everything is amplifiedfor you.
So there's a few reasons whytypical self-care doesn't work
(07:26):
for people like us.
One if it's boring, it'spainful for us.
Meditating for me isexcruciating, not necessarily in
a physically painful kind ofway, but it's just like I can't
take it.
It's almost like a sensory,like my body tenses up and I'm
(07:49):
all like shriveled up like araisin.
I can't handle it.
Dirtling to me feels likehomework.
I want to like it, I really do,but it feels like yet another
thing I have to do and I have toget done, and that's not what I
need in those moments, right?
So I struggle with that.
Ariella (08:08):
And see, and the funny thing is like, those two things
work for me, but I had to figureout ways to make them work for
me.
Yeah, that's fair, you know,like it, like am I?
I'm just, I'm not going to sitand I am a yoga teacher.
(08:28):
We've been through this.
Caitlin (08:29):
I am a yoga teacher.
Ariella (08:30):
So, like I lead people through meditations, I lead
people through Shavasana.
Caitlin (08:35):
Yeah.
Ariella (08:35):
Like, and I get it.
But I have had to figure outhow to make those things.
I had to figure out theaccommodations I needed to make
those things work for me.
Yes, because, yes, they can bereally boring yes like there's a
(08:58):
reason why I teach restorativeyoga but I don't take
restorative yeah, I was justgonna say that yeah, yeah, like
I, I teach restorative yoga, Iteach gentle yoga, but I don't
take those classes rightteaching it is more interesting,
though, like it's for a brainlike ours, it's more interesting
, so I totally get it.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, um butlike other people are like, oh,
(09:22):
like, like your self-care, likegoing for a walk, and I'm like
walks are boring.
Caitlin (09:28):
Oh my God, Exactly, I keep it spicy.
Ariella (09:37):
I listen to lots of true crime.
Oh man, Like going walking inmy neighborhood, like even with
the dog is like, I don't want todo it yeah.
Caitlin (09:48):
Yeah, I get it.
Another reason that typicalself-care doesn't work for us we
forget.
Yeah, out of sight, out of mind.
Oh wait, I was supposed to stopand take a deep breath.
What?
Who does that?
The way to fix that is to tieyour self-care to existing
(10:10):
habits you already have, andwe'll get into more of that, but
forgetting is a real thing.
The other one is guilt,remember, I just said you don't
have to earn self-care For somereason?
I think in particular peoplewith ADHD, because we've heard
that stereotype of like we'rejust lazy, that when we do
(10:34):
something that isn't going.
We feel like we're just lazy,that when we do something that
isn't going, we feel like we'rebeing lazy, when really it's
just you know when you're, whenyou're shooting on yourself, I
should be doing this, I shouldbe doing that.
It turns into a shame spiral.
So just a reminder thatself-care isn't selfish, it's
neurological maintenance.
You don't yell at diabetics forneeding insulin, so don't like.
It's just maintenance, it'swhat you have to do.
Don't yell at diabetics forneeding insulin, so don't like.
It's just maintenance, it'swhat you have to do.
Don't do it to yourself.
(10:54):
So I have five, six, number, anumber, seven, a number of
self-care hacks that work justfor ADHD years, and there's like
they sound like they're theneurotypical ones, but there's a
little bit of a twist here.
That's what makes it for ADHD.
So one of them, the first one,is to establish routines.
(11:18):
Adhd years hate routines, butADHD years need routines.
Ariella (11:26):
They thrive on routines .
Caitlin (11:29):
I know I want someone else to design my entire routine
for me, and then I'll be like,but why did you put this here?
And I'll complain about it, andthen I will completely thrive
on it.
Ariella (11:38):
It's just how it works.
Caitlin (11:39):
It's just how it is.
Creating a structured routinehelps reduce overwhelm.
Use schedules, use planners,use apps.
Map out your day.
Break up larger tasks intosmaller, more manageable steps.
Prioritize, including time forwork, time for leisure, time for
exercise and time forrelaxation every day.
(12:01):
Those don't have to be the sameamount of time every day.
Maybe one day it's 10 minutesfor relaxation and the next day
it's an hour.
That's okay.
Just make sure all four ofthose things show up in your day
every day.
So adjust as needed.
Flexibility is fine.
It's not only okay.
It's not only fine, but it'salso very important.
(12:22):
So keep that in mind.
But, yes, establish a routinefor yourself, and it can also
look different from day to day.
Your weekday routine can bedifferent from your weekend
routine, but it needs to be aroutine.
Ariella (12:33):
Right yeah.
Caitlin (12:35):
The next one, number two good movement, not movement,
good movement.
There's something specificabout this.
So daily physical activityreleases excess energy and
improves focus.
Think, like you know, a tireddog is a good dog.
Right, that's.
I don't mean to compare you toa dog.
You're not a dog, Althoughpeople love their dogs, but it's
(12:59):
sort of that mentality.
And exercise also releasesdopamine and endorphins.
Endorphins make you happy,Happy people just don't shoot
their husbands.
If you know, you know happypeople just don't shoot their
husbands.
If you know, you know.
So practice yoga, participatein a team or a solo sport,
bounce on a yoga ball, stompyour feet, go for a walk.
(13:20):
Stomping your feet does feel alittle bit weird, it feels a
little bit petulant.
Understood, but like, sometimeseven just that will help.
Do silent disco.
Put on your headphones one songwith vibes, instant mood boost,
right well, have you seen thethe um?
There's videos of this onecouple that does like silent
(13:43):
disco and at night they use thatto clean.
They clean their house uptogether like they'll both put
on their headphones, while thekids are sleeping and then they
like, sing, like quietly tothemselves, and then they dance
while they pick up all the toys.
It's the cutest thing they'rebonding.
I know they're bonding, but alsolike you can tell it just feels
good.
Do something like that.
(14:03):
Maybe exercise is not yourfavorite thing, or or maybe you
love it, but you still feel anurge to move and so you need a
calm movement.
Calm movement is a thing youcan doodle, you can color, you
can knit, crochet, work on apuzzle, things like that that
give you something to do withyour hands but don't necessarily
(14:26):
take you, you know, make yousweat.
You know you don't have to godo something like that in order
to move in a way that feels good.
Yeah, sometimes it's just likehaving a fidget that can be a
thing right now.
Yeah, she's, she's been fidgety.
Is it clay?
(14:47):
What is it?
Is it silly?
Ariella (14:48):
It's thinking putty, it's thinking putty, got it.
Yeah, yeah, I've got several ofthem yeah, you are.
Caitlin (14:55):
You are good about the fidgets.
I'm not so good at that.
I need to be better.
Number three, specific to adhdyears prioritize your sleep.
Okay, yeah, as I yawn um, aimfor at least seven hours of
quality sleep each night.
The reason that you need it isbecause it makes your symptoms
worse when you don't sleep.
Sorry to tell you, but itreally does For me.
(15:18):
My meds don't help.
Even like the stimulant medthat I take.
I'm still like yawning all daylong.
I'm still exhausted.
It makes no difference, so justput that in your head.
Calming bedtime routines I'veheard limit late night scream
time.
However, I think it's recentresearch that's come out that
says it's not the screen timenecessarily.
It's what you do with thescreen adhd years.
(15:39):
If you're, if you're one ofthose people who likes to peruse
amazon late at night, you'reanything that's going to trigger
your dopamine response is goingto keep you awake.
So if you're just watching,like some sort of video that's
calming to you like carpetcleaning videos or people
cleaning each other's lawnsthat's not a big deal.
You can watch those.
(16:00):
If you're comfort watchingParks and Rec or the Office,
that's fine, because you knowhow it's going to end and it's
not going to trigger yourdopamine response.
You just need to thinkspecifically about minimizing
your dopamine rush so that youdon't stay awake.
Yeah that makes sense, that'swhat it is for ADHDers in
particular.
Ariella (16:21):
I will add because of my own experience, if you are
finding that you are stillincredibly tired during the day,
talk to your doctor aboutpossibly having sleep apnea,
because, yes, that was somethingthat my behavioral health
(16:43):
specialist when she wasprescribing me medications.
We've been talking about howI've been so, so tired for a
very, very long time and weadjusted my medications and
nothing was helping and finallyshe was like, maybe I'm sleep
apnea and I took one of thosehome home sleep study things and
(17:04):
it did come back with moderatesleep apnea.
And next week I'm actuallygoing for a couple of weeks from
now, I'm actually going fornext week, a couple weeks from
now, I'm actually going for asleep study to get more
information.
And the lack of sleep yeah, itmakes it makes all of my
symptoms worse, yeah, and a goodnight's sleep would be super
(17:29):
it'd be super.
Caitlin (17:30):
The other piece of it is, for me it's not sleep apnea,
but it is a hormone imbalancelike I have I have a hashimoto's
disease, which is a thyroiddisease, and I've been taking
thyroid medication and it's notdoing it.
So then they gave me anotherthyroid medication.
(17:51):
It's T3 and T4.
And the T3 is the one thatactually helps with the energy
and it's made a difference.
It's not a big difference, butit's made a difference.
Ariella (18:00):
So that's something I think about too.
Caitlin (18:05):
Adhders tend to reach for sugar as a dopamine hit.
So I'm going to tell you to bemindful about your nutrition.
This is number four Regular,balanced meals that support
physical and emotionalwell-being and they try to
manage your impulsive snackingPlan ahead for when you feel
like you want a snack Rememberwe talked about you can break up
(18:26):
healthier snack foods into,like, pre-portioned things.
That might help.
I understand.
For me, meal planning isexcruciating.
I hate it.
But also, oh my gosh, how am Idoing this thing with the
bubbles?
And I don't understand.
But it does help me later onand then when I'm like, oh yeah,
this was helpful and I gethappy with myself, then it urges
(18:49):
me to do it again.
So that's something to thinkabout.
If you haven't gone back tolisten to ADHD and Food Part 2,
that was episode 165.
Ariella took a deep dive intonutrition for ADHD brains, but
just a very quick reminder here.
Protein-rich foods are used bythe body to make
neurotransmitters, like thechemicals released by your brain
cells, to communicate with eachother.
(19:11):
Neurotransmitters like dopamineare essential for maintaining
attention and focus.
So eating protein rich foods,putting a little bit of protein
with each one of your snacks,apples and peanut butter right
Like granola and yogurt,something like that to make sure
that you get some protein isgoing to be really important for
(19:33):
an ADHD brain, so I wouldconsider that to be a form of
self-care.
Number five practice mindfulnessand use sensory resets.
Now, as I mentioned, this is sostinking hard for me I cannot
even.
However, mindfulness,meditation or deep breathing
exercises can reduce your stressand improve your emotional
regulation.
(19:53):
That's why it matters for you.
It's not just, it's not so muchstress as it is as emotional
regulation.
Piece episode 145, literally 30or 24 episodes ago on how to
(20:16):
practice mindfulness.
So please go back and listen tothat for some of her best
two-minute mindfulness tricks.
But just regularly check inwith yourself about what
self-care strategies are workingfor you and adjust your
approach as you need it.
If you're a journaler,journaling can help.
There are lots of apps to helpyou journal or document your
feelings.
One that I use is called Dalioand you can just put in like a
(20:37):
little happy face, happy, sad,meh, whatever, customize the
moods and then, if you have anidea of what triggered it, make
a note of that in the app.
That's fine.
You can also use the health appon Apple devices to monitor how
you're feeling.
It has a mood tracker for you.
It even has a one-minutemindfulness, deep breathing
(20:58):
session that you can do.
Mindfulness also doesn't have tobe like taking a minute to
pause.
It can also just be like amoment of reflecting on what's
actually happening around you.
It can be the whole, you know.
Sorry, I was focusing on fivethings.
I can see, four things I canhear.
Those sorts of things aremindfulness, taking a moment to
go.
(21:18):
I feel happy right here in thismoment because XYZ is happening
.
That's mindfulness.
It's just being aware of whatis going on in your head and
what's going on around you.
If you're far past mindfulnessand you're getting close to
overwhelm those sensory resetswe've talked about in previous
episodes, it would be helpful.
So sour candy to shock yourbrain out of a spiral crunchy or
(21:40):
chewy food can help.
Putting an ice pack on the backof your neck or on your wrists
to cool your body down, smellingsomething strong like some
essential oil.
Just go open up the bottle andtake a little whiff and get a
strong whiff of that.
It'll calm you down a littlebit.
Plus, you're taking a deepbreath, which is always a good
thing, and you know when allelse fails, a weighted blanket
(22:01):
and some trashy TV.
With some deep pressure andcalm can make a big difference
in how you're feeling.
Okay, the weighted blanket is abig deal for that sensory piece
.
I love my weighted blanket.
Okay, the weighted blanket is abig deal for that sensory piece
.
I love my weighted blanket,it's the best I have not.
Ariella (22:17):
I don't think the weighted blanket is for me.
I have tried and I think it hasthe opposite.
It has like the Claustrophobiceffect.
Yeah, it has a claustrophobiceffect.
Caitlin (22:30):
But when I can't sleep, the weighted blanket is clutch.
It really helps a lot.
I use it for naps, inparticular when I'm feeling like
I really need to sleep.
Yeah, number six fostersupportive relationships.
That is hardcore self-care forADHDers.
The ADHD urge to mask andpeople please is real.
(22:55):
Oh, I still find myself doingit.
So spend time with people whounderstand and respect you.
Set your healthy boundaries,which we've talked about in
previous episodes, and seek outsupportive groups and therapy.
It's a good thing, yeah Right,and a therapist can be there to
support you with systems thatmight help your ADHD, like
(23:15):
symptoms in general, but alsokind of be that objective third
party to say like, hey, did yourealize that you're doing X, y,
z?
And that's a verypeople-pleasing behavior and
it's manipulative what thisperson is doing, and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And it means that you'relistening to someone who's not
you know your mom, and it meansthat you're listening to someone
who's not.
You know your mom, right.
Ariella (23:33):
My mom's usually right about stuff like that.
Caitlin (23:34):
But still, sometimes you need to hear it from someone
else who's not your mom, right,right.
The last one is to work towardsa healthier mindset.
Now, that sounds reallycondescending Just be better.
Ariella (23:49):
Gosh, just try harder.
Caitlin (23:52):
Just try harder, harder .
You're so lazy, no, um, that'snot what I mean.
What I mean is there's a fewthings here that go into working
towards a healthier mindset,and so I'm going to list off
like five different things herethat all go towards this.
One is try to remember what itfeels like to be labeled.
When you give labels toyourself or others, you ignore
(24:14):
individual complexities andoverlook people's possibility
for change and growth.
So challenging thesedistorsions is important.
Remembering that life isn'tblack and white, remembering to
think in shades of gray that's abig deal, in particular, adhd.
People have a very real senseof justice, fairness, and we
(24:34):
tend to see things like this isright, this is wrong and there
is very little gray area, eventhough two things can be true at
the same time and we don't wantpeople viewing that or taking
that stance with us.
Right Like I can be both lazyand very productive.
Those two things can exist forme at once.
So I don't want us to gettrapped in that mindset about
(24:55):
other people.
So keeping that it also whenyou think that way about other
people, it kind of um stews thenegativity in your own head and
makes you angry.
And then you're living in thatplace and that's not healthy for
you.
Um, stop shoulding all overyourself.
The word should is.
It should be a bad word forpeople with adhd.
(25:15):
Switch the word should to wishor prefer.
Right, not, I should do this,but I wish I had done that is.
Is doesn't sound great, butit's better than I should have,
because should comes with adegree of shame, right, right.
Ariella (25:30):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Caitlin (25:32):
Yeah, I would prefer to X Y Z instead of I should.
X Y Z.
Prefer.
Has less shame.
The word should has shameattached to it, so we're going
to get rid of that word.
All or nothing thinking.
As I mentioned before, adhderstend to think in shades of black
and white rather than shades ofgray.
(25:52):
So when you say things toyourself like I'm a bad parent
or today was terrible, you'remaking issues worse than what
they actually might be.
Maybe the last 30 minutes ofyour day were terrible for sure,
that's totally fine, but thewhole day was not terrible.
It got cracked on by the last30 minutes, but the whole day
wasn't bad.
So keeping that in your head isgoing to be really important.
(26:13):
So you might be someone whofilters.
You pay far too much attentionto the negative stuff and you
ignore the positive or theneutral things.
Lots of us do that, yeah.
So here I'm going to ask thatyou commit to adding one element
of joy to your day every day.
Schedule it, make it a part ofyour routine.
It could be as simple as apopsicle.
(26:37):
That's one of mine.
I love the outshine pops withthe lime, strawberry and
raspberry popsicles in them.
The outshine lime popsicle isone of my favorite things and
sometimes I just want a popsicleand that's the one I want and
it brings me joy and it doesn'tlast very long, but I love it
(27:00):
and that can be your element ofjoy.
And remember to give yourselfgrace.
Be kind to yourself if you'renot living up to your own
standards.
What was that line?
It's like?
Maybe you feel like you're notliving up to your own standards
because what was that line it'slike?
Maybe you feel like you're notliving up to your own standards
because you keep raising the bar.
Something to think about.
You can say to yourself I'mdoing my best and everyone makes
mistakes.
You want people to think thatabout you?
(27:23):
You have to think that aboutyourself.
Ariella (27:27):
Right.
Caitlin (27:29):
And if you're struggling to find it possible
to do any of these things, thatis a sign to me that you need to
seek very real professionalhelp Therapy, medication,
support groups, self-carecomplements these things, but it
does not replace professionaltreatment, Right?
(27:51):
So so these steps are forpeople who are either already in
professional treatment or whocan find it within themselves to
do these things.
If you can't do any of thesethings, you are beyond it and
you need to go talk to someoneand maybe go to someone quickly.
So those are theresearch-backed ones that are
(28:13):
for ADHD, and you probably haveseen that trend on social where
it's like give me your mostunhinged whatevers.
Right?
I have several little self-carethings that I do for myself.
I wouldn't call them unhinged,but they are a little
unconventional.
Hey y'all.
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Use promo code CKANDGK to get20% off your copy at
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C-k-a-n-d-g-k for 20% off onAriellaMontecom.
(29:03):
Get your copy for 20% off today.
Okay, we're back.
We're going to share some ofour favorite unhinged,
unconventional, unconventionaladhd self care hacks.
Uh, so here are ours.
(29:24):
I lean into hyper focuswhenever I can.
I understand that you can'tcontrol your hyper focus, but
when you have the time to leaninto it, do it.
It feels so good to lean into ahyper focusfocus session and
then come out of it on your ownand you're like that is real
self-care for an ADHDer.
Ariella (29:45):
Yep.
Caitlin (29:47):
I also trick myself into showering when I don't want
to by putting on a face mask.
It's a sensory thing.
I really just like washing myface in the sink Because the
water will drip down my arm andI just hate.
I hate that feeling.
So I have these like siliconethings that I can put on my
wrist, which I'm happy to put onmy product page if anyone wants
(30:09):
to see them, if they have thatissue.
But mostly I just want to getin the shower, just wash it off,
because I don't.
You know what I mean.
So that's how I.
That's another self-care way orthing that I do.
I think all of us do this, butI always add a few done things
to my to-do list to make myselffeel better.
Oh yeah, yeah absolutely.
Yeah, I will get rid of clutterand put things to donate in a
(30:31):
box.
Does that box always make it tothe facility right away?
No, no, but it is out of myface and out of my space and I
like that.
It feels good.
I adopted two tidy rules for myhouse.
If it takes less than fiveminutes sometimes three minutes
depending on how I'm feeling doit now, because it prevents
(30:53):
overwhelm and makes me feel likeless of a lazy POS.
And the other one is don't putit down.
Put it away.
This prevents clutter, whichprevents overwhelm, which leads
to paralysis, which leads to mefeeling like a lazy POS.
Ariella (31:10):
So don't put it down, put it away.
Caitlin (31:11):
And like I've been saying it out loud, where I'm
like don't put it down, caitlin,put it away.
And the other day I heard Samgo don't put it down, put it
away.
Ariella (31:19):
And I was like oh, my God.
Caitlin (31:22):
That feels like self-care to me too, and
sometimes I'll pair it with areward.
If I put away these threedishes, I can scroll for a few
minutes, but then I have to seta timer, because otherwise I'll
scroll for too long.
But yeah, so just be mindful ofthat.
But it does.
Those are.
Those are some of my self-carerules.
Do you, do you have some?
Ariella (31:40):
I want to know, tell me so I think my favorite one was
and I haven't done it in a while, but it was when I venmo'd you
money to buy me stuff.
Yes, for my, for my, treatyourself box yes, I had.
I had the, I had the stickerchart and I don't know whatever,
(32:02):
like, whatever I was working onwith the sticker chart yeah the
best.
Caitlin (32:06):
Oh yeah, it was the best um.
Ariella (32:08):
If you sign up for my newsletter, you can get a copy
of it for yourself go do it.
Her newsletter is great so, so,yeah, so, and then I don't
remember, it was like if I did10 of whatever it was, then I
got to go into the, you know,into the, the treat yourself bin
, and pull myself something outand, like the, the reason why it
(32:31):
worked was because I didn't buythe stuff.
Caitlin (32:36):
Right, I got to choose it Right.
Ariella (32:39):
You bought it and shipped it to me and I got to,
just like you know, dump it inthere, and that is why it worked
.
Caitlin (32:48):
That was super fun for me too, because I got the
dopamine hit of buying stuffRight and I would like, I would
like look for things that Ithought you might like, um, and
it was just like like one of mylove languages is gift giving,
so I was able to like go, oh mygosh, I wanted to give her this
silly little sticker and I wouldjust like put it all in a cart
(33:10):
and and then just send it off toher.
It was so.
It was really fun.
Yeah, that's a good unhingedone.
I love that one.
Ariella (33:16):
Yeah, if that ever comes up again.
Caitlin (33:18):
If we ever see that post, you need to tag us in
there, because that that's a funone.
Yeah, yeah, okay um, what else?
Ariella (33:24):
tetris is another one.
So yeah, so there is.
I don't know if we went overthis at any point in a previous
episode, but there is someclinical scientific evidence
that shows playing Tetris aftera traumatic event can help
lessen the likelihood of PTSD.
(33:45):
What Tetris?
If you've experienced atraumatic event and, like I
guess, within I don't know, Ithink it helps whenever, but,
like, I think, if you playTetris within a certain amount
of time, like within 24 hours orsomething, it can help lessen
(34:09):
the either symptoms of PTSD orthe likelihood that you'll
develop PTSD, because what itdoes is it takes, it's such an
analytical game that it takesyou out of your lizard brain,
which is the one that'sactivated after a traumatic
(34:31):
event, and puts you intosomething that is you know why
cat, why cat?
Caitlin (34:39):
now, it's putting you into your prefrontal cortex like
rational thinking brain.
Ariella (34:46):
Right, it's putting you into your rational thinking
brain.
Caitlin (34:50):
Sorry the cat.
This is life with pets.
If you have pets, especially acat cat, you understand.
Ariella (34:56):
Ariel's cat is choosing this moment to come and rub up
against the microphone rightexactly yeah um, yeah, so so
doing that kind of just kind oflike whenever not whenever, but
doing it like when I'm feelingkind of activated or I'm feeling
(35:18):
, or even when I'm kind offeeling, okay, like I will play
tetris, I will the like the newtetris, like you can play it on
the nintendo switch and oh, yeah, yeah, I got that yeah yeah,
it's, it's very.
The vibe is very different thanthe one we grew up with.
(35:38):
Oh, I'm sure, but I really, yeah, but I really like it.
I'll play a few rounds ofTetris, not even necessarily the
one you know around where itjust like constantly gets like
faster and faster.
Caitlin (35:49):
Like they have ones where you can just stay on level
one for like 150 lines, youknow there is a app that I just
recently downloaded called tappy, and tappy has like kind of
fidgety games on it for adhdyears and one of them is tetris
(36:12):
and you can play it and it's alittle harder because you have
to use your finger to drag rightI don't love, but I did notice
that I felt like very zen kindof after doing that that's a
good point.
Ariella (36:26):
Yeah, okay, I had heard about it like on a tiktok and
then my and then my therapistlike confirmed, confirmed it wow
um yeah, so an actual likemental health professional, like
confirmed it.
Caitlin (36:40):
That's awesome.
Ariella (36:42):
So for for journaling prompts, what I'm finding has
really helped for me, and Italked about this like as one of
my hyper fixations lately.
But I have a pack of lastunicorn tarot cards.
Yeah and yeah, and so what I'lldo is I'll pull a card and I
(37:05):
don't know anything really abouttarot cards, but I'll pull a
card and then look up themeaning and then use that as a
journaling prompt or a writingprompt.
So, either like use it as astart, a jumping off point to
(37:27):
like reflect on stuff, or I'lluse it as something like more
creative and um, and that makesyou feel like write something I
love it.
That's great.
Um, I was doing really wellwith that.
That's one of the ones where wewere when you were talking
about like have a routine for itlike yeah, yeah yeah, getting
(37:50):
into a routine is something thatI'm trying to do with it.
um so, especially out here innorth Carolina, where it's been
hot and wet and not in a fun way, um, like guys, she's a spicy
writer.
Caitlin (38:08):
I know it's all good, Right.
Ariella (38:09):
Yeah, it happens.
Um, I need to go outside for mymental health.
I need to get out there, butthere is it's so hot and there's
so much sun around my house, oryou know, when there is sun.
It's been raining a lot.
Um, I need to get outside, butI don't like sweating.
(38:32):
No, I don't like when I showerand then go outside and sweat
and then I feel like I gottatake another shower.
Yeah, it's gross.
Caitlin (38:45):
Right so.
Ariella (38:47):
I do one of those things where it's like I hate
showering at night, but I hateshowering and getting sweaty.
So which one do I hate more?
The showering and gettingsweaty?
So which one do I hate more theshowering and getting sweaty?
Right, so, I suck it up and Istarted showering at night.
This way I can get myselfoutside, because then I don't
(39:10):
feel like, oh, I can't gooutside because I can't get
gross, because I just showeredand I don't want to shower again
.
Now it's like no, you haven'tshowered yet, so you can go
outside, you can get grossbecause I just showered and I
don't want to shower again.
Now it's like no, you haven'tshowered yet, so you can go
outside.
You can get gross.
You can water the plants ortransplant something or do some
rage, weeding, whatever, andthen go take a shower and then
(39:31):
that shower actually feelsreasonably good.
It feels really good.
Caitlin (39:34):
I am a big fan of the nighttime shower.
I also, though, though, like Ishower at night because it's
austin and it's similar, and I'musually covered in bug spray,
and I don't want to bring thatinto my brain, um, and I also,
like I said, I don't likewashing my face in the sink, so
I take a shower, and I used towhen I was.
(39:55):
I used to wash my feet before Iwent to bed, because I don't
like dirty feet in my bed, butthis is just more efficient if I
just take a shower and likewash everything.
Ariella (40:07):
So that's why I shower at night.
Caitlin (40:08):
But also I end up going for a walk in the morning and
then I shower in the morningbecause I don't like sitting in
my sweaty clothes.
Ariella (40:14):
So I do both.
Caitlin (40:15):
I'm a big fan of the both in my sweaty clothes, so I
do both.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of the both.
Um, but there is something aboutthat nighttime shower that just
feels better like that's theone where I really get clean, so
that I can go to sleep cleanand all that stuff.
So, yeah, I, I get it.
That is, I would agree thatthat's self-care.
I am very curious what ourlisteners do for their self-care
(40:38):
, their adhd self-care hacks.
I want to hear them, please.
Dms will share the best ones,because they're and probably
steal it.
Let's be clear.
Um, so I'm gonna just put thisout there as my bottom line for
this episode.
Um, forget the word should,shelf, shelf.
Forget the word should, becauseself-care needs to work for you
(41:02):
.
Whatever it is for you is howit needs to be.
Other people and they're like Itake a bath every day.
That's because it works forthem.
It doesn't have to work for you.
Try one thing from today and ifit flops, no problem, no guilt
about it, just toss it out andtry another one.
Right, adhd?
(41:22):
Life is never going to be aboutperfection, because no human is
perfect and ADHDers will tellyou that we might just be half a
step further away from perfect,but it's about progress and
maybe some sour candy and alittle treat, so really, all you
can do.
Yeah, now, speaking of littletreats.
(41:43):
Next, next time, we're going todive into adhd and money.
Ariella (41:50):
Yeah, which is a yikes yeah which is a yikes situation.
Caitlin (41:58):
Um, so subscribe now so you don't miss it.
I feel like that's that's all Ireally have to say about this
topic.
It's just, guys, sometimesself-care is knowing when your
brain is right about to justseparate from reality yep, yep
(42:24):
and roll with it.
Yep, follow the dopamine followthe dopamine, and if the
dopamine is telling you it'stime to wrap, then that's what
you have to do.
There are some people I know whopodcast a full day like.
One of my favorite podcasts andmy favorite humans in this
whole wide world is gretchenschoesser, who's the host of ish
(42:46):
that goes on in our heads andit's a very good mental health
podcast and she's now an authorand she's amazing and she does a
wonderful advocacy work for the988 hotline, which certain
administration people are tryingto get rid of, even though it
supports people who areconsidering unaliving themselves
and that's not okay.
So anyway, she and her partnerfor the show podcast literally
(43:13):
all day saturday, like a fulleight hours of podcasting all
day long, and they do it likeonce a month or something.
Dude, my brain cannot, no, nono, that is a neurotypical thing
right there.
That is not a right no that isnot an adhd person.
You and I sit down for thesesessions, we do a couple and
(43:36):
then we both are like staringoff into space.
Ariella (43:41):
We're both like yeah I mean I say this in like, in like
, the most loving way possible,but like my day is shot yes,
because I used up all my brainpower on this and you guys and
you miss over there I mean itlike it fills it, like it fills
(44:04):
my cup and it's amazing yes, butit's also right, but it does
require, like it's like you'vegot the two cups and like it
fills my serotonin cup butempties my dopamine cup, and
like that's great Ish, but Idon't usually plan to do stuff
(44:25):
after recording.
Caitlin (44:27):
No, nothing that requires brain power.
No no, that's why I had to likedo all the episode stuff for
the previous recordings beforethis Because it would have all
been gone yeah okay, so go dosomething that fills one of
those cups I don't care whichone, it is the one that you feel
(44:48):
, the one that you know, the onethat you feel like filling.
Go outside, be sweaty, play inthe dirt, I think.
Ariella (44:56):
I think that's what I'm , this one.
Well, now that I have like awhole envelope of milkweed seeds
, all over the house I wanted tolike I shook it.
I was like, yay, milkweed seeds.
And I didn't realize that theenvelope was open.
It was just like you know.
And, of course, like itwouldn't have been, it wouldn't
(45:18):
have been an issue if I wasoutside and did the whole like
oh yeah, you know, then I justwould have been doing like
nature a, a solid.
But no, I brought it into thehouse so I could cold stratify
them.
Caitlin (45:33):
I don't know what that means, guys.
She told me that she was goingto be late for our recording
because she shook an envelope ofmilkweed seeds and they were
all over the house Meanwhile.
I was like shoving food into myface.
I'm like no worries girl, Idon't care.
Ariella (45:49):
I had to put down a slice of pizza.
I was coming upstairs with myslice of pizza and I was like,
oh, I should go grab those seeds, seeds.
And then I had to put down thepizza and, while I'm picking
them up, telling my dog to stayaway from my pizza.
Caitlin (46:04):
I have a question why, did you need to bring the
milkweed seeds up for arecording?
Ariella (46:10):
oh no, I wasn't gonna.
I was just grabbing them.
They were on my porch oh yeah,yeah, I was because my front
door is right by the stairs.
So when I was walking by thefront door I was like, oh right,
the seeds are out there.
Caitlin (46:22):
Got it.
I thought you were going tograb them and bring them up with
your pizza and do a recordingsession.
I was like I don't understand.
No, it was one of those like,oh, like might as well grab them
now so they don't stay outthere and then like, understand
that kind of right you guys?
Yeah, we're tired, we're gonnago.
(46:44):
Yeah, so make better choicesthan us.
Don't plant some weed?
Don't shake it off a little?
Ariella (46:50):
seeds in the house.
Don't.
Don't just every envelope isopen.
Just treat every envelope withseeds in it as open.
Caitlin (46:59):
Love it.
Great idea Love, you mean it.
Bye y'all, okay, bye.
guys guess what, but it is, it is.
If you didn't listen to lastweek's episode, you should,
because that's what makes thateven funnier okay, um, it's a
callback.
It's a callback.
Yes, it is.
Uh, this episode is the lastepisode of season four what I
(00:25):
know, I say that I say that asthough I've been, you've done
like half of this season with us, though you've been here for
like true it's been.
Yeah, I was looking at.
You've done like 30 someepisodes with us.
Did you know that?
Ariella (00:39):
oh really, yeah, no, I'm serious, yeah it's, it's
wild.
Caitlin (00:43):
You've done a lot, um yeah, so good for you.
I'm I'm.
169 episodes in nice yeah, Ithink you're like right around
40 or so.
Given the other ones that you'vedone with us, you're pretty
close, okay, yeah, nice, nevermind, I need to give you all the
links to stuff and it doesndoesn't matter.
(01:04):
Not the point.
We're not talking about thatright now.
We're all so glad you're herefor our last episode of season
four.
This is how to be a grownup.
This is the how to show formoms who get distracted when
they're Googling how to stopprocrastinating.
Yay, I'm Caitlin.
This is Ariella Monti.
She's a novelist and a rainbowdisco ball that hyperfixates
(01:26):
flawlessly.
Yes, I still like the pirateone, the swashbuckling pirate
one is still my favorite.
Ariella (01:34):
I was trying to figure out how to put that into some of
my marketing.
Caitlin (01:39):
Oh, we're going to do it, we're figuring it out.
Ariella (01:42):
Yeah, yeah.
Caitlin (01:49):
Last time we how do I?
That was was ridiculous.
It's right in front of me.
Last time we talked about theshame and stigma of adhd and
some ways, eight different ways.
I just put up the number fiveon the screen but said eight,
eight different ways to overcomeshame and stigma behind adhd.
Be sure to listen to that.
If that applies to you, if youare one of those who has the
ADHD shame no shame, it happensto all of us Go listen to it.
(02:12):
But we're talking today aboutovercoming more of that and
treating yourself well withself-care tips Wow, self-care
tips, good Lord, specific toADHDers.
Are you following us on socialyet?
(02:33):
Are you?
I bet you're not.
If you are, you're cool, you'repart of the Cool Kids Club.
If you're not, you can be partof the cool kids club if you
follow us.
We are at ck and gk podcast onall the places I just don't care
about twitter and at arielaunderscore monty on threads,
instagram, the tickety talk allthe places.
(02:55):
But let's keep going here.
We're going to share thesources.
The sources are, of course,attitude max, because that is
the holy grail of ADHDinformation.
There's a few differentarticles I pulled from there.
There's also one from the ADHDFoundation, the ADHD Center, the
(03:17):
Fancy Way to Spell Center, theBritish Way with the R-E instead
of the E-R.
Yep, oh yeah.
Yeah, it's fancy.
There's a few creators likeADHD Understood on Instagram,
which is a great one.
Adhd underscore understood howto ADHD on YouTube, which I
really like.
Another source was this podcastepisode called ADHD and
(03:39):
Self-Care on understoodorg.
If you don't hang out onunderstoodorg, you should.
It's a great website.
I've heard about this bookcalled Dirty Laundry by Richard
Pink and Roxanne Emery, which isabout ADHD-friendly
relationships, and then an appthat I recently learned about
called Finch, this ADHDself-care friendly sort of app.
(04:04):
So I'm going to dig into thatand see if I like it, but I've
heard about it.
So if you're someone who hasspinch, please DM us and let us
know what I need to know and ifI should take the time to tinker
with it.
Here's our disclaimer we are notdoctors, nor are we mental
health professionals.
If you feel burned out or ifyou feel like you often need to
activate your emergency responsetechniques, please seek out
(04:27):
help from a licensedprofessional.
Self-care is not a cure forlike full-on breakdown and
burnout, so just you know.
Keep that in mind.
Okay, so we're going to go backa little bit here 30 episodes
and talk about what self-care is.
Here's my definition that I'vegiven many, many, many times.
(04:50):
It is the things that you dofor yourself to help you feel
like yourself.
The purpose is to be able tohelp you give your best to tasks
and to other people.
When it's needed, like when youhave a huge work project or
your kid's up sick all night,self-care is what helps you have
(05:10):
the bandwidth to handle thosethings.
Self-care is a habit.
It's a daily practice thatinvolves many different types of
activities and strategies.
It's not something you have toearn.
You don't have to deserveself-care.
It's health.
So just keep that in mind.
Adhd people, it's thetraditional methods of self-care
(05:35):
, like you know bubble baths andjust relax, read a book, unwind
.
It doesn't work.
We've talked about this beforeMindfulness and meditation.
For me, I cannot.
My brain is just constantlygoing during those times and I
have a very difficult timeturning it off.
(05:55):
I'll put fidgets in my hand, itdoesn't matter.
I really struggle with thosethings.
So personally, I'm eithervibrating at like a thousand
percent or I'm crashing into adopamine void and in a sit pit.
So it is one or the other.
It's very rarely any sort ofcombination.
So today we're ditching scentedcandles and ohms for real ADHD
(06:18):
friendly self-care and the kindthat doesn't require you to sit
still.
If you can't do that, Ipersonally am not an expert on
why self-care matters for peoplewith ADHD.
We already know why it mattersfor everybody, but why, in
particular, it matters forpeople with ADHD.
So this is what happens to mewhen I neglect my self-care, and
I imagine for you, ariella,it's fairly similar, but all of
(06:40):
my symptoms get worse.
All of my symptoms get worse,Every single symptom.
My meds don't work as wellbecause I'm just more easily
irritated and overwhelmed.
My anxiety increases, like Ican't focus on anything.
I am a complete basket casewhen I neglect my self-care,
(07:02):
regardless of how medicated I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah definitely Ifyou're a neurotypical person.
A lack of self-care elevatesall of those kinds of things
normally right.
But if you're neuro-spicy inany kind of way, it's just worse
, like everything is amplifiedfor you.
So there's a few reasons whytypical self-care doesn't work
(07:26):
for people like us.
One if it's boring, it'spainful for us.
Meditating for me isexcruciating, not necessarily in
a physically painful kind ofway, but it's just like I can't
take it.
It's almost like a sensory,like my body tenses up and I'm
(07:49):
all like shriveled up like araisin.
I can't handle it.
Dirtling to me feels likehomework.
I want to like it, I really do,but it feels like yet another
thing I have to do and I have toget done, and that's not what I
need in those moments, right?
So I struggle with that.
Ariella (08:08):
And see, and the funny thing is like, those two things
work for me, but I had to figureout ways to make them work for
me.
Yeah, that's fair, you know,like it, like am I?
I'm just, I'm not going to sitand I am a yoga teacher.
(08:28):
We've been through this.
Caitlin (08:29):
I am a yoga teacher.
Ariella (08:30):
So, like I lead people through meditations, I lead
people through Shavasana.
Caitlin (08:35):
Yeah.
Ariella (08:35):
Like, and I get it.
But I have had to figure outhow to make those things.
I had to figure out theaccommodations I needed to make
those things work for me.
Yes, because, yes, they can bereally boring yes like there's a
(08:58):
reason why I teach restorativeyoga but I don't take
restorative yeah, I was justgonna say that yeah, yeah, like
I, I teach restorative yoga, Iteach gentle yoga, but I don't
take those classes rightteaching it is more interesting,
though, like it's for a brainlike ours, it's more interesting
, so I totally get it.
Absolutely, yeah, yeah, um butlike other people are like, oh,
(09:22):
like, like your self-care, likegoing for a walk, and I'm like
walks are boring.
Caitlin (09:28):
Oh my God, Exactly, I keep it spicy.
Ariella (09:37):
I listen to lots of true crime.
Oh man, Like going walking inmy neighborhood, like even with
the dog is like, I don't want todo it yeah.
Caitlin (09:48):
Yeah, I get it.
Another reason that typicalself-care doesn't work for us we
forget.
Yeah, out of sight, out of mind.
Oh wait, I was supposed to stopand take a deep breath.
What?
Who does that?
The way to fix that is to tieyour self-care to existing
(10:10):
habits you already have, andwe'll get into more of that, but
forgetting is a real thing.
The other one is guilt,remember, I just said you don't
have to earn self-care For somereason?
I think in particular peoplewith ADHD, because we've heard
that stereotype of like we'rejust lazy, that when we do
(10:34):
something that isn't going.
We feel like we're just lazy,that when we do something that
isn't going, we feel like we'rebeing lazy, when really it's
just you know when you're, whenyou're shooting on yourself, I
should be doing this, I shouldbe doing that.
It turns into a shame spiral.
So just a reminder thatself-care isn't selfish, it's
neurological maintenance.
You don't yell at diabetics forneeding insulin, so don't like.
It's just maintenance, it'swhat you have to do.
Don't yell at diabetics forneeding insulin, so don't like.
It's just maintenance, it'swhat you have to do.
Don't do it to yourself.
(10:54):
So I have five, six, number, anumber, seven, a number of
self-care hacks that work justfor ADHD years, and there's like
they sound like they're theneurotypical ones, but there's a
little bit of a twist here.
That's what makes it for ADHD.
So one of them, the first one,is to establish routines.
(11:18):
Adhd years hate routines, butADHD years need routines.
Ariella (11:26):
They thrive on routines .
Caitlin (11:29):
I know I want someone else to design my entire routine
for me, and then I'll be like,but why did you put this here?
And I'll complain about it, andthen I will completely thrive
on it.
Ariella (11:38):
It's just how it works.
Caitlin (11:39):
It's just how it is.
Creating a structured routinehelps reduce overwhelm.
Use schedules, use planners,use apps.
Map out your day.
Break up larger tasks intosmaller, more manageable steps.
Prioritize, including time forwork, time for leisure, time for
exercise and time forrelaxation every day.
(12:01):
Those don't have to be the sameamount of time every day.
Maybe one day it's 10 minutesfor relaxation and the next day
it's an hour.
That's okay.
Just make sure all four ofthose things show up in your day
every day.
So adjust as needed.
Flexibility is fine.
It's not only okay.
It's not only fine, but it'salso very important.
(12:22):
So keep that in mind.
But, yes, establish a routinefor yourself, and it can also
look different from day to day.
Your weekday routine can bedifferent from your weekend
routine, but it needs to be aroutine.
Ariella (12:33):
Right yeah.
Caitlin (12:35):
The next one, number two good movement, not movement,
good movement.
There's something specificabout this.
So daily physical activityreleases excess energy and
improves focus.
Think, like you know, a tireddog is a good dog.
Right, that's.
I don't mean to compare you toa dog.
You're not a dog, Althoughpeople love their dogs, but it's
(12:59):
sort of that mentality.
And exercise also releasesdopamine and endorphins.
Endorphins make you happy,Happy people just don't shoot
their husbands.
If you know, you know happypeople just don't shoot their
husbands.
If you know, you know.
So practice yoga, participatein a team or a solo sport,
bounce on a yoga ball, stompyour feet, go for a walk.
(13:20):
Stomping your feet does feel alittle bit weird, it feels a
little bit petulant.
Understood, but like, sometimeseven just that will help.
Do silent disco.
Put on your headphones one songwith vibes, instant mood boost,
right well, have you seen thethe um?
There's videos of this onecouple that does like silent
(13:43):
disco and at night they use thatto clean.
They clean their house uptogether like they'll both put
on their headphones, while thekids are sleeping and then they
like, sing, like quietly tothemselves, and then they dance
while they pick up all the toys.
It's the cutest thing they'rebonding.
I know they're bonding, but alsolike you can tell it just feels
good.
Do something like that.
(14:03):
Maybe exercise is not yourfavorite thing, or or maybe you
love it, but you still feel anurge to move and so you need a
calm movement.
Calm movement is a thing youcan doodle, you can color, you
can knit, crochet, work on apuzzle, things like that that
give you something to do withyour hands but don't necessarily
(14:26):
take you, you know, make yousweat.
You know you don't have to godo something like that in order
to move in a way that feels good.
Yeah, sometimes it's just likehaving a fidget that can be a
thing right now.
Yeah, she's, she's been fidgety.
Is it clay?
(14:47):
What is it?
Is it silly?
Ariella (14:48):
It's thinking putty, it's thinking putty, got it.
Yeah, yeah, I've got several ofthem yeah, you are.
Caitlin (14:55):
You are good about the fidgets.
I'm not so good at that.
I need to be better.
Number three, specific to adhdyears prioritize your sleep.
Okay, yeah, as I yawn um, aimfor at least seven hours of
quality sleep each night.
The reason that you need it isbecause it makes your symptoms
worse when you don't sleep.
Sorry to tell you, but itreally does For me.
(15:18):
My meds don't help.
Even like the stimulant medthat I take.
I'm still like yawning all daylong.
I'm still exhausted.
It makes no difference, so justput that in your head.
Calming bedtime routines I'veheard limit late night scream
time.
However, I think it's recentresearch that's come out that
says it's not the screen timenecessarily.
It's what you do with thescreen adhd years.
(15:39):
If you're, if you're one ofthose people who likes to peruse
amazon late at night, you'reanything that's going to trigger
your dopamine response is goingto keep you awake.
So if you're just watching,like some sort of video that's
calming to you like carpetcleaning videos or people
cleaning each other's lawnsthat's not a big deal.
You can watch those.
(16:00):
If you're comfort watchingParks and Rec or the Office,
that's fine, because you knowhow it's going to end and it's
not going to trigger yourdopamine response.
You just need to thinkspecifically about minimizing
your dopamine rush so that youdon't stay awake.
Yeah that makes sense, that'swhat it is for ADHDers in
particular.
Ariella (16:21):
I will add because of my own experience, if you are
finding that you are stillincredibly tired during the day,
talk to your doctor aboutpossibly having sleep apnea,
because, yes, that was somethingthat my behavioral health
(16:43):
specialist when she wasprescribing me medications.
We've been talking about howI've been so, so tired for a
very, very long time and weadjusted my medications and
nothing was helping and finallyshe was like, maybe I'm sleep
apnea and I took one of thosehome home sleep study things and
(17:04):
it did come back with moderatesleep apnea.
And next week I'm actuallygoing for a couple of weeks from
now, I'm actually going fornext week, a couple weeks from
now, I'm actually going for asleep study to get more
information.
And the lack of sleep yeah, itmakes it makes all of my
symptoms worse, yeah, and a goodnight's sleep would be super
(17:29):
it'd be super.
Caitlin (17:30):
The other piece of it is, for me it's not sleep apnea,
but it is a hormone imbalancelike I have I have a hashimoto's
disease, which is a thyroiddisease, and I've been taking
thyroid medication and it's notdoing it.
So then they gave me anotherthyroid medication.
(17:51):
It's T3 and T4.
And the T3 is the one thatactually helps with the energy
and it's made a difference.
It's not a big difference, butit's made a difference.
Ariella (18:00):
So that's something I think about too.
Caitlin (18:05):
Adhders tend to reach for sugar as a dopamine hit.
So I'm going to tell you to bemindful about your nutrition.
This is number four Regular,balanced meals that support
physical and emotionalwell-being and they try to
manage your impulsive snackingPlan ahead for when you feel
like you want a snack Rememberwe talked about you can break up
(18:26):
healthier snack foods into,like, pre-portioned things.
That might help.
I understand.
For me, meal planning isexcruciating.
I hate it.
But also, oh my gosh, how am Idoing this thing with the
bubbles?
And I don't understand.
But it does help me later onand then when I'm like, oh yeah,
this was helpful and I gethappy with myself, then it urges
(18:49):
me to do it again.
So that's something to thinkabout.
If you haven't gone back tolisten to ADHD and Food Part 2,
that was episode 165.
Ariella took a deep dive intonutrition for ADHD brains, but
just a very quick reminder here.
Protein-rich foods are used bythe body to make
neurotransmitters, like thechemicals released by your brain
cells, to communicate with eachother.
(19:11):
Neurotransmitters like dopamineare essential for maintaining
attention and focus.
So eating protein rich foods,putting a little bit of protein
with each one of your snacks,apples and peanut butter right
Like granola and yogurt,something like that to make sure
that you get some protein isgoing to be really important for
(19:33):
an ADHD brain, so I wouldconsider that to be a form of
self-care.
Number five practice mindfulnessand use sensory resets.
Now, as I mentioned, this is sostinking hard for me I cannot
even.
However, mindfulness,meditation or deep breathing
exercises can reduce your stressand improve your emotional
regulation.
(19:53):
That's why it matters for you.
It's not just, it's not so muchstress as it is as emotional
regulation.
Piece episode 145, literally 30or 24 episodes ago on how to
(20:16):
practice mindfulness.
So please go back and listen tothat for some of her best
two-minute mindfulness tricks.
But just regularly check inwith yourself about what
self-care strategies are workingfor you and adjust your
approach as you need it.
If you're a journaler,journaling can help.
There are lots of apps to helpyou journal or document your
feelings.
One that I use is called Dalioand you can just put in like a
(20:37):
little happy face, happy, sad,meh, whatever, customize the
moods and then, if you have anidea of what triggered it, make
a note of that in the app.
That's fine.
You can also use the health appon Apple devices to monitor how
you're feeling.
It has a mood tracker for you.
It even has a one-minutemindfulness, deep breathing
(20:58):
session that you can do.
Mindfulness also doesn't have tobe like taking a minute to
pause.
It can also just be like amoment of reflecting on what's
actually happening around you.
It can be the whole, you know.
Sorry, I was focusing on fivethings.
I can see, four things I canhear.
Those sorts of things aremindfulness, taking a moment to
go.
(21:18):
I feel happy right here in thismoment because XYZ is happening
.
That's mindfulness.
It's just being aware of whatis going on in your head and
what's going on around you.
If you're far past mindfulnessand you're getting close to
overwhelm those sensory resetswe've talked about in previous
episodes, it would be helpful.
So sour candy to shock yourbrain out of a spiral crunchy or
(21:40):
chewy food can help.
Putting an ice pack on the backof your neck or on your wrists
to cool your body down, smellingsomething strong like some
essential oil.
Just go open up the bottle andtake a little whiff and get a
strong whiff of that.
It'll calm you down a littlebit.
Plus, you're taking a deepbreath, which is always a good
thing, and you know when allelse fails, a weighted blanket
(22:01):
and some trashy TV.
With some deep pressure andcalm can make a big difference
in how you're feeling.
Okay, the weighted blanket is abig deal for that sensory piece
.
I love my weighted blanket.
Okay, the weighted blanket is abig deal for that sensory piece
.
I love my weighted blanket,it's the best I have not.
Ariella (22:17):
I don't think the weighted blanket is for me.
I have tried and I think it hasthe opposite.
It has like the Claustrophobiceffect.
Yeah, it has a claustrophobiceffect.
Caitlin (22:30):
But when I can't sleep, the weighted blanket is clutch.
It really helps a lot.
I use it for naps, inparticular when I'm feeling like
I really need to sleep.
Yeah, number six fostersupportive relationships.
That is hardcore self-care forADHDers.
The ADHD urge to mask andpeople please is real.
(22:55):
Oh, I still find myself doingit.
So spend time with people whounderstand and respect you.
Set your healthy boundaries,which we've talked about in
previous episodes, and seek outsupportive groups and therapy.
It's a good thing, yeah Right,and a therapist can be there to
support you with systems thatmight help your ADHD, like
(23:15):
symptoms in general, but alsokind of be that objective third
party to say like, hey, did yourealize that you're doing X, y,
z?
And that's a verypeople-pleasing behavior and
it's manipulative what thisperson is doing, and blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And it means that you'relistening to someone who's not
you know your mom, and it meansthat you're listening to someone
who's not.
You know your mom, right.
Ariella (23:33):
My mom's usually right about stuff like that.
Caitlin (23:34):
But still, sometimes you need to hear it from someone
else who's not your mom, right,right.
The last one is to work towardsa healthier mindset.
Now, that sounds reallycondescending Just be better.
Ariella (23:49):
Gosh, just try harder.
Caitlin (23:52):
Just try harder, harder .
You're so lazy, no, um, that'snot what I mean.
What I mean is there's a fewthings here that go into working
towards a healthier mindset,and so I'm going to list off
like five different things herethat all go towards this.
One is try to remember what itfeels like to be labeled.
When you give labels toyourself or others, you ignore
(24:14):
individual complexities andoverlook people's possibility
for change and growth.
So challenging thesedistorsions is important.
Remembering that life isn'tblack and white, remembering to
think in shades of gray that's abig deal, in particular, adhd.
People have a very real senseof justice, fairness, and we
(24:34):
tend to see things like this isright, this is wrong and there
is very little gray area, eventhough two things can be true at
the same time and we don't wantpeople viewing that or taking
that stance with us.
Right Like I can be both lazyand very productive.
Those two things can exist forme at once.
So I don't want us to gettrapped in that mindset about
(24:55):
other people.
So keeping that it also whenyou think that way about other
people, it kind of um stews thenegativity in your own head and
makes you angry.
And then you're living in thatplace and that's not healthy for
you.
Um, stop shoulding all overyourself.
The word should is.
It should be a bad word forpeople with adhd.
(25:15):
Switch the word should to wishor prefer.
Right, not, I should do this,but I wish I had done that is.
Is doesn't sound great, butit's better than I should have,
because should comes with adegree of shame, right, right.
Ariella (25:30):
Right, yeah, yeah.
Caitlin (25:32):
Yeah, I would prefer to X Y Z instead of I should.
X Y Z.
Prefer.
Has less shame.
The word should has shameattached to it, so we're going
to get rid of that word.
All or nothing thinking.
As I mentioned before, adhderstend to think in shades of black
and white rather than shades ofgray.
(25:52):
So when you say things toyourself like I'm a bad parent
or today was terrible, you'remaking issues worse than what
they actually might be.
Maybe the last 30 minutes ofyour day were terrible for sure,
that's totally fine, but thewhole day was not terrible.
It got cracked on by the last30 minutes, but the whole day
wasn't bad.
So keeping that in your head isgoing to be really important.
(26:13):
So you might be someone whofilters.
You pay far too much attentionto the negative stuff and you
ignore the positive or theneutral things.
Lots of us do that, yeah.
So here I'm going to ask thatyou commit to adding one element
of joy to your day every day.
Schedule it, make it a part ofyour routine.
It could be as simple as apopsicle.
(26:37):
That's one of mine.
I love the outshine pops withthe lime, strawberry and
raspberry popsicles in them.
The outshine lime popsicle isone of my favorite things and
sometimes I just want a popsicleand that's the one I want and
it brings me joy and it doesn'tlast very long, but I love it
(27:00):
and that can be your element ofjoy.
And remember to give yourselfgrace.
Be kind to yourself if you'renot living up to your own
standards.
What was that line?
It's like?
Maybe you feel like you're notliving up to your own standards
because what was that line it'slike?
Maybe you feel like you're notliving up to your own standards
because you keep raising the bar.
Something to think about.
You can say to yourself I'mdoing my best and everyone makes
mistakes.
You want people to think thatabout you?
(27:23):
You have to think that aboutyourself.
Ariella (27:27):
Right.
Caitlin (27:29):
And if you're struggling to find it possible
to do any of these things, thatis a sign to me that you need to
seek very real professionalhelp Therapy, medication,
support groups, self-carecomplements these things, but it
does not replace professionaltreatment, Right?
(27:51):
So so these steps are forpeople who are either already in
professional treatment or whocan find it within themselves to
do these things.
If you can't do any of thesethings, you are beyond it and
you need to go talk to someoneand maybe go to someone quickly.
So those are theresearch-backed ones that are
(28:13):
for ADHD, and you probably haveseen that trend on social where
it's like give me your mostunhinged whatevers.
Right?
I have several little self-carethings that I do for myself.
I wouldn't call them unhinged,but they are a little
unconventional.
Hey y'all.
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(28:41):
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Use promo code CKANDGK to get20% off your copy at
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(29:03):
Get your copy for 20% off today.
Okay, we're back.
We're going to share some ofour favorite unhinged,
unconventional, unconventionaladhd self care hacks.
Uh, so here are ours.
(29:24):
I lean into hyper focuswhenever I can.
I understand that you can'tcontrol your hyper focus, but
when you have the time to leaninto it, do it.
It feels so good to lean into ahyper focusfocus session and
then come out of it on your ownand you're like that is real
self-care for an ADHDer.
Ariella (29:45):
Yep.
Caitlin (29:47):
I also trick myself into showering when I don't want
to by putting on a face mask.
It's a sensory thing.
I really just like washing myface in the sink Because the
water will drip down my arm andI just hate.
I hate that feeling.
So I have these like siliconethings that I can put on my
wrist, which I'm happy to put onmy product page if anyone wants
(30:09):
to see them, if they have thatissue.
But mostly I just want to getin the shower, just wash it off,
because I don't.
You know what I mean.
So that's how I.
That's another self-care way orthing that I do.
I think all of us do this, butI always add a few done things
to my to-do list to make myselffeel better.
Oh yeah, yeah absolutely.
Yeah, I will get rid of clutterand put things to donate in a
(30:31):
box.
Does that box always make it tothe facility right away?
No, no, but it is out of myface and out of my space and I
like that.
It feels good.
I adopted two tidy rules for myhouse.
If it takes less than fiveminutes sometimes three minutes
depending on how I'm feeling doit now, because it prevents
(30:53):
overwhelm and makes me feel likeless of a lazy POS.
And the other one is don't putit down.
Put it away.
This prevents clutter, whichprevents overwhelm, which leads
to paralysis, which leads to mefeeling like a lazy POS.
Ariella (31:10):
So don't put it down, put it away.
Caitlin (31:11):
And like I've been saying it out loud, where I'm
like don't put it down, caitlin,put it away.
And the other day I heard Samgo don't put it down, put it
away.
Ariella (31:19):
And I was like oh, my God.
Caitlin (31:22):
That feels like self-care to me too, and
sometimes I'll pair it with areward.
If I put away these threedishes, I can scroll for a few
minutes, but then I have to seta timer, because otherwise I'll
scroll for too long.
But yeah, so just be mindful ofthat.
But it does.
Those are.
Those are some of my self-carerules.
Do you, do you have some?
Ariella (31:40):
I want to know, tell me so I think my favorite one was
and I haven't done it in a while, but it was when I venmo'd you
money to buy me stuff.
Yes, for my, for my, treatyourself box yes, I had.
I had the, I had the stickerchart and I don't know whatever,
(32:02):
like, whatever I was working onwith the sticker chart yeah the
best.
Caitlin (32:06):
Oh yeah, it was the best um.
Ariella (32:08):
If you sign up for my newsletter, you can get a copy
of it for yourself go do it.
Her newsletter is great so, so,yeah, so, and then I don't
remember, it was like if I did10 of whatever it was, then I
got to go into the, you know,into the, the treat yourself bin
, and pull myself something outand, like the, the reason why it
(32:31):
worked was because I didn't buythe stuff.
Caitlin (32:36):
Right, I got to choose it Right.
Ariella (32:39):
You bought it and shipped it to me and I got to,
just like you know, dump it inthere, and that is why it worked
.
Caitlin (32:48):
That was super fun for me too, because I got the
dopamine hit of buying stuffRight and I would like, I would
like look for things that Ithought you might like, um, and
it was just like like one of mylove languages is gift giving,
so I was able to like go, oh mygosh, I wanted to give her this
silly little sticker and I wouldjust like put it all in a cart
(33:10):
and and then just send it off toher.
It was so.
It was really fun.
Yeah, that's a good unhingedone.
I love that one.
Ariella (33:16):
Yeah, if that ever comes up again.
Caitlin (33:18):
If we ever see that post, you need to tag us in
there, because that that's a funone.
Yeah, yeah, okay um, what else?
Ariella (33:24):
tetris is another one.
So yeah, so there is.
I don't know if we went overthis at any point in a previous
episode, but there is someclinical scientific evidence
that shows playing Tetris aftera traumatic event can help
lessen the likelihood of PTSD.
(33:45):
What Tetris?
If you've experienced atraumatic event and, like I
guess, within I don't know, Ithink it helps whenever, but,
like, I think, if you playTetris within a certain amount
of time, like within 24 hours orsomething, it can help lessen
(34:09):
the either symptoms of PTSD orthe likelihood that you'll
develop PTSD, because what itdoes is it takes, it's such an
analytical game that it takesyou out of your lizard brain,
which is the one that'sactivated after a traumatic
(34:31):
event, and puts you intosomething that is you know why
cat, why cat?
Caitlin (34:39):
now, it's putting you into your prefrontal cortex like
rational thinking brain.
Ariella (34:46):
Right, it's putting you into your rational thinking
brain.
Caitlin (34:50):
Sorry the cat.
This is life with pets.
If you have pets, especially acat cat, you understand.
Ariella (34:56):
Ariel's cat is choosing this moment to come and rub up
against the microphone rightexactly yeah um, yeah, so so
doing that kind of just kind oflike whenever not whenever, but
doing it like when I'm feelingkind of activated or I'm feeling
(35:18):
, or even when I'm kind offeeling, okay, like I will play
tetris, I will the like the newtetris, like you can play it on
the nintendo switch and oh, yeah, yeah, I got that yeah yeah,
it's, it's very.
The vibe is very different thanthe one we grew up with.
(35:38):
Oh, I'm sure, but I really, yeah, but I really like it.
I'll play a few rounds ofTetris, not even necessarily the
one you know around where itjust like constantly gets like
faster and faster.
Caitlin (35:49):
Like they have ones where you can just stay on level
one for like 150 lines, youknow there is a app that I just
recently downloaded called tappy, and tappy has like kind of
fidgety games on it for adhdyears and one of them is tetris
(36:12):
and you can play it and it's alittle harder because you have
to use your finger to drag rightI don't love, but I did notice
that I felt like very zen kindof after doing that that's a
good point.
Ariella (36:26):
Yeah, okay, I had heard about it like on a tiktok and
then my and then my therapistlike confirmed, confirmed it wow
um yeah, so an actual likemental health professional, like
confirmed it.
Caitlin (36:40):
That's awesome.
Ariella (36:42):
So for for journaling prompts, what I'm finding has
really helped for me, and Italked about this like as one of
my hyper fixations lately.
But I have a pack of lastunicorn tarot cards.
Yeah and yeah, and so what I'lldo is I'll pull a card and I
(37:05):
don't know anything really abouttarot cards, but I'll pull a
card and then look up themeaning and then use that as a
journaling prompt or a writingprompt.
So, either like use it as astart, a jumping off point to
(37:27):
like reflect on stuff, or I'lluse it as something like more
creative and um, and that makesyou feel like write something I
love it.
That's great.
Um, I was doing really wellwith that.
That's one of the ones where wewere when you were talking
about like have a routine for itlike yeah, yeah yeah, getting
(37:50):
into a routine is something thatI'm trying to do with it.
um so, especially out here innorth Carolina, where it's been
hot and wet and not in a fun way, um, like guys, she's a spicy
writer.
Caitlin (38:08):
I know it's all good, Right.
Ariella (38:09):
Yeah, it happens.
Um, I need to go outside for mymental health.
I need to get out there, butthere is it's so hot and there's
so much sun around my house, oryou know, when there is sun.
It's been raining a lot.
Um, I need to get outside, butI don't like sweating.
(38:32):
No, I don't like when I showerand then go outside and sweat
and then I feel like I gottatake another shower.
Yeah, it's gross.
Caitlin (38:45):
Right so.
Ariella (38:47):
I do one of those things where it's like I hate
showering at night, but I hateshowering and getting sweaty.
So which one do I hate more?
The showering and gettingsweaty?
So which one do I hate more theshowering and getting sweaty?
Right, so, I suck it up and Istarted showering at night.
This way I can get myselfoutside, because then I don't
(39:10):
feel like, oh, I can't gooutside because I can't get
gross, because I just showeredand I don't want to shower again
.
Now it's like no, you haven'tshowered yet, so you can go
outside, you can get grossbecause I just showered and I
don't want to shower again.
Now it's like no, you haven'tshowered yet, so you can go
outside.
You can get gross.
You can water the plants ortransplant something or do some
rage, weeding, whatever, andthen go take a shower and then
(39:31):
that shower actually feelsreasonably good.
It feels really good.
Caitlin (39:34):
I am a big fan of the nighttime shower.
I also, though, though, like Ishower at night because it's
austin and it's similar, and I'musually covered in bug spray,
and I don't want to bring thatinto my brain, um, and I also,
like I said, I don't likewashing my face in the sink, so
I take a shower, and I used towhen I was.
(39:55):
I used to wash my feet before Iwent to bed, because I don't
like dirty feet in my bed, butthis is just more efficient if I
just take a shower and likewash everything.
Ariella (40:07):
So that's why I shower at night.
Caitlin (40:08):
But also I end up going for a walk in the morning and
then I shower in the morningbecause I don't like sitting in
my sweaty clothes.
Ariella (40:14):
So I do both.
Caitlin (40:15):
I'm a big fan of the both in my sweaty clothes, so I
do both.
Yeah, I'm a big fan of the both.
Um, but there is something aboutthat nighttime shower that just
feels better like that's theone where I really get clean, so
that I can go to sleep cleanand all that stuff.
So, yeah, I, I get it.
That is, I would agree thatthat's self-care.
I am very curious what ourlisteners do for their self-care
(40:38):
, their adhd self-care hacks.
I want to hear them, please.
Dms will share the best ones,because they're and probably
steal it.
Let's be clear.
Um, so I'm gonna just put thisout there as my bottom line for
this episode.
Um, forget the word should,shelf, shelf.
Forget the word should, becauseself-care needs to work for you
(41:02):
.
Whatever it is for you is howit needs to be.
Other people and they're like Itake a bath every day.
That's because it works forthem.
It doesn't have to work for you.
Try one thing from today and ifit flops, no problem, no guilt
about it, just toss it out andtry another one.
Right, adhd?
(41:22):
Life is never going to be aboutperfection, because no human is
perfect and ADHDers will tellyou that we might just be half a
step further away from perfect,but it's about progress and
maybe some sour candy and alittle treat, so really, all you
can do.
Yeah, now, speaking of littletreats.
(41:43):
Next, next time, we're going todive into adhd and money.
Ariella (41:50):
Yeah, which is a yikes yeah which is a yikes situation.
Caitlin (41:58):
Um, so subscribe now so you don't miss it.
I feel like that's that's all Ireally have to say about this
topic.
It's just, guys, sometimesself-care is knowing when your
brain is right about to justseparate from reality yep, yep
(42:24):
and roll with it.
Yep, follow the dopamine followthe dopamine, and if the
dopamine is telling you it'stime to wrap, then that's what
you have to do.
There are some people I know whopodcast a full day like.
One of my favorite podcasts andmy favorite humans in this
whole wide world is gretchenschoesser, who's the host of ish
(42:46):
that goes on in our heads andit's a very good mental health
podcast and she's now an authorand she's amazing and she does a
wonderful advocacy work for the988 hotline, which certain
administration people are tryingto get rid of, even though it
supports people who areconsidering unaliving themselves
and that's not okay.
So anyway, she and her partnerfor the show podcast literally
(43:13):
all day saturday, like a fulleight hours of podcasting all
day long, and they do it likeonce a month or something.
Dude, my brain cannot, no, nono, that is a neurotypical thing
right there.
That is not a right no that isnot an adhd person.
You and I sit down for thesesessions, we do a couple and
(43:36):
then we both are like staringoff into space.
Ariella (43:41):
We're both like yeah I mean I say this in like, in like
, the most loving way possible,but like my day is shot yes,
because I used up all my brainpower on this and you guys and
you miss over there I mean itlike it fills it, like it fills
(44:04):
my cup and it's amazing yes, butit's also right, but it does
require, like it's like you'vegot the two cups and like it
fills my serotonin cup butempties my dopamine cup, and
like that's great Ish, but Idon't usually plan to do stuff
(44:25):
after recording.
Caitlin (44:27):
No, nothing that requires brain power.
No no, that's why I had to likedo all the episode stuff for
the previous recordings beforethis Because it would have all
been gone yeah okay, so go dosomething that fills one of
those cups I don't care whichone, it is the one that you feel
(44:48):
, the one that you know, the onethat you feel like filling.
Go outside, be sweaty, play inthe dirt, I think.
Ariella (44:56):
I think that's what I'm , this one.
Well, now that I have like awhole envelope of milkweed seeds
, all over the house I wanted tolike I shook it.
I was like, yay, milkweed seeds.
And I didn't realize that theenvelope was open.
It was just like you know.
And, of course, like itwouldn't have been, it wouldn't
(45:18):
have been an issue if I wasoutside and did the whole like
oh yeah, you know, then I justwould have been doing like
nature a, a solid.
But no, I brought it into thehouse so I could cold stratify
them.
Caitlin (45:33):
I don't know what that means, guys.
She told me that she was goingto be late for our recording
because she shook an envelope ofmilkweed seeds and they were
all over the house Meanwhile.
I was like shoving food into myface.
I'm like no worries girl, Idon't care.
Ariella (45:49):
I had to put down a slice of pizza.
I was coming upstairs with myslice of pizza and I was like,
oh, I should go grab those seeds, seeds.
And then I had to put down thepizza and, while I'm picking
them up, telling my dog to stayaway from my pizza.
Caitlin (46:04):
I have a question why, did you need to bring the
milkweed seeds up for arecording?
Ariella (46:10):
oh no, I wasn't gonna.
I was just grabbing them.
They were on my porch oh yeah,yeah, I was because my front
door is right by the stairs.
So when I was walking by thefront door I was like, oh right,
the seeds are out there.
Caitlin (46:22):
Got it.
I thought you were going tograb them and bring them up with
your pizza and do a recordingsession.
I was like I don't understand.
No, it was one of those like,oh, like might as well grab them
now so they don't stay outthere and then like, understand
that kind of right you guys?
Yeah, we're tired, we're gonnago.
(46:44):
Yeah, so make better choicesthan us.
Don't plant some weed?
Don't shake it off a little?
Ariella (46:50):
seeds in the house.
Don't.
Don't just every envelope isopen.
Just treat every envelope withseeds in it as open.
Caitlin (46:59):
Love it.
Great idea Love, you mean it.
Bye y'all, okay, bye.
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