Breaking Free from Toxic Family Patterns During Divorce
In this compelling episode, Seth Nelson and Pete Wright are joined by Jerry Wise, a family systems coach with over 45 years of experience helping people heal from dysfunctional and emotionally immature family dynamics. They explore how divorce often isn't the hardest part of ending a marriage—it's breaking free from the dysfunctional patterns that shaped you before you even got married.
Seth and Pete dive deep with Jerry into the concept of emotional enmeshment and how it affects divorce proceedings and co-parenting relationships. They discuss practical strategies for recognizing when you're emotionally fused with your ex-spouse and techniques for breaking free from these patterns. The conversation takes fascinating turns as they explore how unresolved family-of-origin issues can impact current relationships and how to prevent passing these patterns to the next generation.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- How do I know if I'm emotionally enmeshed with my ex?
- What can I do when I feel triggered by my ex's behavior?
- How do I protect my children from inheriting dysfunctional relationship patterns?
Key Takeaways:
- Focus on yourself and your healing instead of blaming your ex
- Learn to respond rather than react to triggering situations
- Work on breaking unhealthy patterns before they affect your children
This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or struggling with challenging family dynamics. Jerry's expertise, combined with Seth and Pete's practical legal and personal experience, provides listeners with actionable strategies for breaking free from toxic patterns and building healthier relationships moving forward.
Links & Notes
- Find Jerry on his website, Instagram, or YouTube
- Check out Jerry’s Road to Self program
- Schedule a consult with Seth
- Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
- (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
- (00:26) - Jerry Wise and How to Divorce without Passing Down Toxic Patterns
- (02:37) - Lots of Things Affect Kids
- (04:21) - Enmeshment
- (07:49) - Getting Unmeshed
- (09:13) - Focus on Yourself
- (10:27) - Emotional and Legal Divorce
- (11:07) - Things You Can Do
- (16:23) - Breaking the Triggering Patterns
- (19:18) - Not All Feelings Are Equal
- (21:20) - Role Model for Kids
- (24:37) - Kids’ Resilience
- (26:08) - Realizing You’re Ready for Change
- (30:49) - Leaving Because...
- (32:09) - It’s a Lot
- (33:14) - You Won’t Always Feel This Way
- (35:27) - Marker 17
- (39:18) - Wrap Up
Popular Podcasts
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Charlie Kirk Show
Charlie is America's hardest working grassroots activist who has your inside scoop on the biggest news of the day and what's really going on behind the headlines. The founder of Turning Point USA and one of social media's most engaged personalities, Charlie is on the front lines of America’s culture war, mobilizing hundreds of thousands of students on over 3,500 college and high school campuses across the country, bringing you your daily dose of clarity in a sea of chaos all from his signature no-holds-barred, unapologetically conservative, freedom-loving point of view. You can also watch Charlie Kirk on Salem News Channel