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May 13, 2025 40 mins

Helping Kids Navigate Divorce with Parent Coach Danielle Lindner

Seth Nelson and Pete Wright welcome parent coach and early childhood education expert Danielle Lindner to discuss how children process divorce and what parents can do to help them stay resilient. Lindner, author of "The Parent's Pocket Guide to Surviving the Preschool Years" and several children's books, specializes in helping families raise emotionally healthy kids while maintaining their own wellbeing during major life transitions.

Seth and Pete explore key indicators that children might be struggling with divorce, often manifesting in behavior changes opposite to their typical personality. The discussion delves into positive parenting strategies during divorce—including the importance of consistency, emotional validation, and avoiding negative talk about the other parent. Lindner emphasizes the power of age-appropriate communication and explains how "scaffolding"—building supportive steps toward greater emotional agency—can help children develop resilience during challenging times.

Questions we answer in this episode:

  • How can you tell if your child is struggling with divorce beyond what they're telling you?
  • When should you consider bringing in professional help for your children?
  • How do you handle introducing new partners when kids express negative feelings?

Key Takeaways:

  • Maintain consistency and kindness across both households
  • Validate children's feelings without overloading them with information
  • Consider early intervention with counseling—it's better to start early than wait for problems

This episode provides practical, actionable advice for parents navigating divorce with young children. Whether you're just beginning the process or already co-parenting, Lindner's expertise offers valuable insights into supporting children's emotional health while maintaining positive family relationships during and after divorce.

Links & Notes

  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:26) - Danielle Lindner and Positive Parenting
  • (01:35) - First Signs a Child Is Struggling
  • (06:01) - Myths Around Kids and Divorce
  • (10:27) - Positive Parenting
  • (11:57) - Coaching Parents
  • (15:07) - Tools for Struggling Children
  • (18:21) - Scaffolding
  • (20:19) - Learning to Be Emotionally Resilient
  • (22:12) - Social Media
  • (26:35) - Third Parties
  • (30:35) - Daily Reminder
  • (33:23) - When to Use a Counselor
  • (34:40) - Danielle’s Book
  • (38:27) - Wrap Up
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