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June 10, 2025 40 mins

Mastering Stoic Empathy During and After Divorce

Divorce attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright welcome leadership expert and author Shermin Kruse to explore how combining stoicism with empathy can transform the divorce experience. Kruse, who grew up in war-torn Iran before becoming a lawyer and author, brings unique insights on maintaining emotional control while staying attuned to others' perspectives during high-conflict situations.

Seth and Pete dive deep into practical applications of stoic empathy—from courtroom strategies to co-parenting interactions. The conversation explores how intentional discomfort practice builds resilience, while cognitive empathy helps navigate challenging relationships. Kruse shares powerful examples from her personal journey and professional experience, demonstrating how these principles can help anyone handle difficult conversations and negotiations more effectively. The discussion particularly focuses on how divorcing couples can maintain their authentic selves while managing conflict constructively.

Questions we answer in this episode:

  • How can I stay calm and focused when dealing with a hostile ex-spouse?
  • What practical exercises help build emotional resilience during divorce?
  • How do I balance being strong with staying empathetic in co-parenting?

Key Takeaways:

  • Practice discomfort in safe settings to build emotional control
  • Use active listening and pausing to better understand others' perspectives
  • Remember your responses are in your control, even when others' actions aren't

This episode offers invaluable insights for anyone navigating divorce or high-conflict relationships. Kruse's blend of philosophical wisdom and practical experience provides actionable strategies for maintaining composure while building stronger post-divorce relationships.

Links & Notes

  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:26) - Shermin Kruse and Stoic Empathy
  • (02:07) - What Is Stoic Empathy?
  • (06:06) - The Practice of Stoicism
  • (14:03) - Working on Empathy
  • (20:08) - In the Divorce Process
  • (32:43) - After Divorce
  • (36:26) - Sher’s Book
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