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June 24, 2025 35 mins

Healing After Betrayal—A Guide for Co-Parents

Divorce attorney Seth Nelson and co-host Pete Wright welcome relationship coach and betrayal trauma expert Mr. Jay for an insightful discussion about healing and co-parenting after profound betrayal. Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience, Mr. Jay helps people navigate from devastating betrayal to healing, offering unique perspectives on how this specific trauma affects every aspect of life.

The conversation explores what makes betrayal trauma distinct from other forms of trauma—particularly how it reshapes not just our present and future, but also our understanding of the past. Seth and Pete dive deep into practical strategies for managing ongoing relationships with former spouses when children are involved, while Mr. Jay shares powerful insights about healing personal wounds first. The discussion covers everything from financial betrayals to infidelity, examining how different types of betrayal trauma affect co-parenting relationships and personal recovery.

Questions we answer in this episode:

  • How is betrayal trauma different from other life challenges?
  • What steps can I take to co-parent effectively after betrayal?
  • How do I protect my emotional health while dealing with a betrayer?

Key Takeaways:

  • Healing requires addressing both current wounds and past trauma
  • Self-love and boundary-setting are crucial for emotional recovery
  • Effective co-parenting starts with personal healing

The episode provides essential insights for anyone struggling with betrayal during or after divorce, offering practical tools for healing while maintaining necessary relationships for the children's sake. Mr. Jay's approach emphasizes personal growth and self-care as fundamental steps toward building a healthy post-divorce life.

Links & Notes

  • (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
  • (00:31) - Mr. Jay and Betrayal Trauma
  • (01:43) - Mr. Jay’s Background
  • (05:40) - Defining Betrayal Trauma
  • (08:28) - Trauma vs. Betrayal Trauma
  • (10:47) - What If You Still Care?
  • (14:01) - Affecting the Past as Well
  • (18:28) - Co-Parenting
  • (21:23) - Healing for You
  • (22:53) - Admitting It
  • (23:44) - Define what forgiveness means to you
  • (28:14) - Getting Better Equipped
  • (32:30) - Asking the Hard Questions
  • (33:30) - Wrap Up
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