The Yoga of Parenting: Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others

Award-winning author of "The Yoga of Parenting," Sarah Ezrin shares how yoga philosophy provides a framework for navigating parenthood's chaos with grace and self-compassion. 

The yoga practice she once knew - with its hours on the mat and meditation cushion - has transformed into what she calls "yoga snacks": micro-moments of mindfulness chosen throughout her day. These might look like lighting a favorite candle amid dinner preparation madness, taking five deep breaths during an argument between her sons, or remaining calm enough to give herself the Heimlich maneuver while the kids continue playing, oblivious to her distress.

Today we explore how our perceptions of yoga shift throughout life stages - from the achievement-oriented physical practice many begin with to the deeper, more integrated approach that emerges through parenthood. 

Sarah's vulnerability about her postpartum anxiety and the surprising ways yoga showed up during that challenging time offers a refreshing counterpoint to the curated perfectionism often seen in wellness spaces. The permission she grants - to adapt, to struggle, to let go of rigid expectations - comes from hard-won wisdom.

"The most advanced practice I've ever done is trying to co-parent with another adult and raise children together," Sarah reflects, highlighting how relationships amplify our growth edges. 

Beyond individual practices and communication challenges, we discuss the systemic changes needed to truly support families: paid leave, affordable childcare, and community-centered approaches to raising children. Sarah envisions a return to village-style support systems where resources are shared and parents aren't left struggling in isolation.

For those feeling overwhelmed by conflicting parenting advice and impossible standards, Sarah offers this centering truth: "You are the best parent for your child." Trust your intuition, offer yourself grace, and remember that the yoga is found not in perfection, but in returning again and again to presence.

Learn more about her work at https://sarahezrinyoga.com/  

Get the full transcript of each show at https://howwecanheal.com/podcast

Season 5 of the How We Can Heal Podcast is sponsored by SimplePractice.

If you want to simplify the business side of your work, I highly recommend Simple Practice! 

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Episode Transcript

Lisa Danylchuk (00:08):
Welcome back to the how we Can Heal podcast.
Today, our guest is Sarah Ezrin.
Sarah Ezrin is an award-winningauthor, highly sought-after
yoga educator and maternalmental health advocate.
Based here in the San FranciscoBay Area, sarah writes
extensively on the subjects ofyoga, parenting and mental
health, often interweaving thesethemes.

(00:30):
She's a regular contributor forYoga Journal Magazine, motherly
Yoga International, healthline,scary Mommy, mindbodygreen and
LA Yoga Magazine.
She's been featured in the WallStreet Journal, forbes, la
Weekly and on the NBC News.
Her recent book, the Yoga ofParenting, which we'll talk

(00:53):
about today, was released in2023.
Sarah and I connected throughour mutual involvement with
YogaWorks as teachers andtrainers, and I've loved seeing
her work evolve to apply toparenthood.
I'm thrilled to have her heretoday, so please join me in

(01:13):
welcoming Sarah to the show.
If you love this podcast, I betyou would love the Yoga for
Trauma online training program.
This eight-week certificationis for anyone who wants to learn
how yoga philosophy andpractice can help respond to the
impact trauma has on our bodiesand brains.
When you join the program,you'll learn the theory and best

(01:35):
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work.
Students often come into theprogram knowing that yoga can be
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This program breaks it all downand leaves you feeling clear

(01:55):
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With eight modules and eightyoga classes, you'll get a taste
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(02:15):
trauma-responsive manner.
Head on over to howwecanhealcomforward slash Y4T.
That's the letter Y, the numberfour and the letter T to apply
to join the program today.
Mention the podcast in yourapplication for a special bonus.
One more time, nice and slow.
The website is howwecanhealcomforward slash Y4T.

(02:39):
Our next cohort kicks off June9th.
If you're feeling called tojoin us, I would love to welcome
you and support you through theprogram.

Sarah Ezrin (02:56):
Thank you, Lisa.
I love we were just talkingabout how close we live, but how
far away we are.

Lisa Danylchuk (03:00):
We're like, oh, I could drive to your house, we
could be there, but it hasn'thappened.
I feel like I don't even knowif we've actually met in person
I don't think we ever have, butyou're in the Yoga Works family,
yeah.
So, like your name is familiar,I saw you wrote a book.
It was like right around thetime I was becoming a parent.
I was like, oh, I get that,that yoga is parenting, so I'm
so excited to have you herebecause it gave me the reason,

(03:23):
the excuse, the drive to finishyour book.
I was like, yes, and I got somuch out of it, so I want to
highly recommend that littlefriend over your shoulder.
Those of you watching on videothe yoga parenting.
We're going to talk about allthat stuff today and really I'm
open to whatever's coming up andis interesting to you in the
moment too, cause, kind of likein a yoga practice or in therapy
, it's like what's most alive iswhat's most interesting, right?

(03:45):
So my first question for you ishow is yoga showing up in your
life today, with your family?

Sarah Ezrin (03:54):
I love that question.
I just want to say thank you.
Yes, I also.
We knew each other through yogaworks.
I don't think we ever met inperson, but that was one family
that connected us.
But I've also found thatmotherhood is this like thread,
so it doesn't matter wherepeople live, it doesn't matter
what age they are.
Right, like I connect withpeople that are now grandparents

(04:14):
, even though my kids are fiveand three, so it is, we are now
forever connected and, yes,sisterhood of mothers.
My husband is traveling, he'sbeen traveling quite a bit, and
I have two very energetic boys,which I always laugh about
because I remember readingpeople's bios and it would say
mom to two highly energetic boysand I'm like, isn't that
redundant?
Like obviously they're veryhigh energy, but my guys are

(04:37):
very high energy and maybethat's not unique, but when we
are solo and everything tends tocome up right, I find that I
have to use every single nervoussystem nurturing tool that I've
ever owned in my life andnothing really sticks.
Like that's the thing you know,and I mentioned this in the
book, and that was even before Ihad to.
My youngest was quite youngwhen I wrote the book.

(04:59):
I was pregnant when I first gotthe idea for the book and then
he was like brand new.
But now I'm like, oh, wow, okay,so this is like you're just
coming back and then you letyourself kind of go again, and
then you're coming back and thenyou're letting yourself go
again.
It's not like you do yourpractice in the morning and then
you are serene all day long.
So that is what my life hasbeen the last couple of days.

(05:19):
So yesterday what I did is theywere just jumping off of the
walls, and of course, it'susually the witching hour
because they've been at schoolall day, they've been holding it
in all day.
So they come home and they'relike hitting each other with
baseball bats and like rippingthings up.
For some reason.
My three-year-old the secondyou turn around, he's like got
something around his neck orhe's like holding a sharp weapon

(05:41):
.

Lisa Danylchuk (05:41):
And you're like ahimsa, ahimsa, where he's like
holding a sharp weapon.

Sarah Ezrin (05:43):
And you're like ahimsa, ahimsa, how did you even
get that?
Like I don't understand thiskid is.
I mean, it's amazing, it's veryenterprising and it'll work out
well.
So yesterday, as they were allover the place and it was at the
end of the day and I wasalready tired it was going on
three days alone I was like youknow what I'm gonna do?
I'm candle and that, like justpausing to do that while I was

(06:08):
cooking the dinner and throughthe madness of it all, it was
this moment of pleasure and likeno, did I sit and do Tritaka
and like do candle gazingmeditation?
Like I used to, absolutely not.
But it was this moment of likehearing the click of a lighter,
first picking the scent that Iwanted, and I didn't just do the
one that was closest to me.
I was like I love this candle.
I find, with parents especially, we hold off our pleasure

(06:30):
especially with women and moms.
Normally I'd be like, oh, I'lljust light this, like you know,
cheapy tea light and save thatone.
But like no, I went and got thecandle I really loved.
I lit that, I took the time tohear the click of the lighter,
to watch as it's, the wick tookcharge, if you will, and just
that moment, the big breath ofthe scent of the candle.

(06:53):
That was my yoga practice thatday.
Yes, and that's what it lookslike these days.
I did meditate this morning,but I think my that moment
moment or you know anotherself-care moment is like
choosing my own song in the car,pausing when you get them in
the car and doing a long walkaround the car and like just

(07:14):
breathing in nature.
So it's these little momentsthat I leave throughout the day,
as opposed to one thing that Ido in the morning for two hours
every single day.
It's tiny moments.

Lisa Danylchuk (07:24):
I totally get that and support it and I think
you know I've written a lotabout yoga for trauma recovery
and people are always likewhat's the sequence?
I'm like it's not really, likeyeah, like read the whole book
and then we'll talk.
Cause then you'll get more of asense of where I'm coming from
here, and a lot of it is thosemoments where it's a different
choice, and that practice mightcome from making a choice in
half moon, ardha Chandrasana,putting your hand here or there,

(07:46):
choosing where you put yourgaze or noticing how you talk to
yourself when you step out ofit.
The yoga asana practice is apractice for life, and you
talked about this middle stageof life where you're taking care
of so many people, where you'rea householder and all those
things we learn.

(08:07):
All the candle gazing you didbefore you lit that one candle
is infused in that moment, right.
So it is a practice and it'sgreat when we can get on our mat
, we can close our eyes for 20minutes or we can go on a long
meditation retreat.
It's wonderful to have that inour bones and in our history
when we step into parenting,because I do feel like other

(08:27):
things become more important atthat stage, right?
Is it more important that yougo away for a week and meditate,
or is it more important thatyou see your kids first play, or
something?
It's like, oh okay, well, thatfor me is an easy choice, so I
love that you're talking aboutthis in the moment.
It might be a second andpleasure too, because oftentimes
we end up in these worlds we'retalking about parenting, which

(08:50):
is stressful, or talking aboutmental health or trauma recovery
.
It's like we were thinkingabout oh, I have to regulate my
nervous system or I have toreduce my stress, and even those
goals don't sound super fun.
They have great outcomes andthey're worth investing in, but
that's not it.
Super fun they have greatoutcomes and they're worth
investing in, but that's not it.
So I love that you're sharingthis moment of pleasure where
you're like okay, maybe I'm justprojecting here.

(09:11):
Total shit show right, totalshit show in the house and
you're just like, okay, well,this is our time together and
this is my day and this is mymoment right now, how can I
actually feed myself somethingas I'm preparing to feed myself
and my family?
How can I connect with pleasureand make the choice that's
really soulful or nourishing?

Sarah Ezrin (09:32):
Yeah, and all of those choices are constantly
changing.
You work in the trauma world.
You're a therapist.
Sometimes I don't need morecalm.
Sometimes that's the last thingI need.
If I was in a freeze state andstuck and unable to do something
, maybe lighting a lavendercandle and getting on the floor
wouldn't be a great idea.
I'd never get back up again.

(09:52):
Sometimes I do need to do thejumping jacks, sometimes I do
need to put on the 2000s hip hopand club music and get myself
moving, and then other times,because I just tend towards
highly anxious and in anupregulated state, then I can
put the brakes on in that way.
So yesterday I found myselfbeing really upregulated and

(10:12):
angry and snappy, so that's whyI went to the candle.
But knowing where you are onthe spectrum of your nervous
system is essential and, like Ithink I take for granted I'm
just going to be honest as I'vebeen doing this nervous system
work and in the motherhood spaceI take for granted how our
years of practice in the yogaworld really was laying the

(10:33):
foundation for all of this.
From a business side, just likea little behind the scenes, as
I'm trying to build my business,I'm like, oh, I talk about the
nervous system and I talk aboutthese things, but like it's the
yoga that allowed me to do anyof these things, I was recently
on a panel for Yoga Gives Back.
You know that organization.
We supported a lot at YogaWorks and it was with a lot of

(10:53):
moms, that practice and howdifferent our practices are now.
That was the takeaway.
It was like, oh right, you know.
Yes, okay, we're doing nervoussystem regulation or you're
calling it energy management, orsome people are working in the
pleasure space, the Western mind.
You say yoga, you thinkexercise, like we're not doing
things where you're on your matin your best Lululemon outfit.

(11:13):
But all these things aredifferent forms of yoga and it
was our practices, our physicalpractices, that was the gateway
to get us through that.
So I love what you said aboutlike taking the variations in a
pose, being open to that,starting to listen to your body
when maybe you were a pusherbefore, maybe pushing yourself,

(11:34):
when you were a littletrepidatious before, like all of
that was being learned and thefoundation was being laid in the
physical asana room.
That's at least for us that wasmy gateway.
I know people.
Some people have come inthrough philosophy and the other
way, but now applying that tomotherhood is just really, it's
really cool and I take it forgranted.
So I appreciate you bringingthat up and it was like a nice

(11:54):
reminder on that panel the otherday too.
Like, oh right, like this iswhy I did warrior two for 20
breath.

Lisa Danylchuk (12:00):
Right, yeah, I'm like having all of these,
almost like positive intrusionsmemories of Montana studio, main
street.
You were in Santa Monica for awhile.
Yeah, yeah, like all of that.
I'm so bummed that those spacesaren't existing in the same way
that they were then, but I cango back there in my mind so
easily and as soon as you starttalking about all those poses
and all that breath, I'm likeman.

(12:21):
There were entire weekendswhere I just spent them in the
studio.
You know, whether taking ateacher training or you're
assisting a teacher training oryou're teaching a teacher
training, there's so many hoursof not just physical asana
practice but also reflection on,like, what does this mean?
And that's what I love.
And I know sometimes peoplethink of yoga as exercise or as
calming, and a hundred percenton what you said Like it's not

(12:50):
just calming, it's a dynamicnervous system.
We could talk about that for anentire hour.
But it's also so much more andthere's so much opportunity for
depth in yoga.
So when you start going, signup for that advanced thing, or I
want to sign up for thatteacher training, it's just this
opportunity to dig and get toknow yourself and get to know
your patterns.
There's a driving test, butthere's no parenting test,
there's no basic, even 20questions you have to answer.

(13:12):
So that in my mind especiallyas someone who works with people
who reflect on their childhoodsand how they impacted them if
every parent were in therapy andhad even just this nervous
system language, even if theywere just like you know trauma,
responsive coaching orphysiological training Like, oh
okay, my nervous system doesthis, it does that, this is how

(13:34):
I respond to threat, this is howI know I'm getting stressed,
this is where it shows up in mybody, this is what I can do to
release it.
So much of it is even just theawareness, right, and you talk
about this too in the yoga ofparenting, where it's like, oh,
I'm sitting here with my childand I just got caught scrolling
on my phone, like somethingpulled me.
I picked up my phone to text mymom and next thing, you know I'm

(13:58):
gone right and then coming backand that's just like meditation
practices, yoga practices,coming back, finding your
drishti oh, my eyes went allover the place finding your
gazing point again, right, so somuch foundation in there, but
we don't have to keep doing thesame thing as parents, right?
And I think that what you justmentioned can be a hook where,

(14:20):
even if we don't become parents,our practice changes and then
we're like but I was supposed to, but I used to get up and do
this many hours or this manyshapes and it doesn't look like
that, so I'm not doing yogaanymore.
I mean, I think you and I areon the same page of like yes,
you are, but sometimes peoplefeel that way and then it just
adds to this like feeling ofmissing out or guilt or shame,

(14:43):
instead of the empoweringrecognition of like no, you're
doing yoga all day, every day,yeah, yeah, yeah, and that was
like a big teaching point withinthe book.

Sarah Ezrin (14:52):
But even I forget, even I am like I haven't done, I
haven't meditated today, andit's like, really, you were
taking five deep breaths as thebrothers were fighting in the
back seat.
You were stepping outside andjust savoring nature for a few
moments.
Those are those moments ofconnection that is the yoga
practice.
So it is the reminder that itis in those everyday things.

(15:14):
Of course, there's also so manylayers to diet culture and, you
know, having your body bounceback after baby and the type of
yoga that we were exposed to inthose early days was a very
strong form of exercise.
I came from the Ashtanga system.
We weren't necessarily doing itto lose weight, but there was a

(15:34):
body focus in there, whether itwas trying to get poses or what
you weren't eating or down tolike not drinking water.
Within the practice, there wasa very specific body focus.
So people come into it throughthe gateway of the body and
that's a beautiful thing, but ata certain point we start to
detach from the body being thething.

(15:56):
That said, we still need tomove our bodies every day and
that still needs to be a part ofit.
So it's really redefining whatthese things are.
I often say I don't really doasana anymore.
I mean full honesty, like Iwill do like downward dog at the
end of the high intensityinterval training class, like
that's when I do it, or I'llstretch as I'm like sitting on
the floor with you.

(16:16):
I don't really do asana, but Imeditate every single day and I
do my breath work every singleday and I do some kind of
connected pleasure practice,including my coffee.
I count that every single dayand to me I feel like my
practice is much more connectedand much more advanced than any
of those crazy shapes I used tobe able to make with my body,

(16:38):
even though I was showing up sixtimes a week for two hours a
day and doing the thing.
This, to me, is the advancedpractice.
Yes, I used to say that in mytwenties that I believed it.
I started teaching when I waslike 25 and I'm 43 now I
obviously I meant it, I knew it.
That wiser part of me knew it.
But I still think I was veryattached to the physical and not
to say I'm not still attachedto the physical, because there's

(17:01):
just pressure being a woman anda middle-aged woman in this
country and in this world.
But that's not the gateway forme anymore.
Now it's connection.
What am I doing for connection?
Maybe it's listening to musicor dancing, or watching them
breathe or listening to themchew.
That's what I actually love.
Listening to my kids chew, it'slike the cutest thing not my
husband, but my children.

(17:22):
Then I'm like close your mouth,you know.
But yeah, like what's thegateway?
And yeah, but then also honoringlike, okay, but I also still
need to move my body today.
They just don't have to be.
That's not the only way.

Lisa Danylchuk (17:35):
Yeah, and it can be so interesting to return,
Like for me when I was writingmy last book, it was like I'm
going to hit class in themorning and then I drive to work
and then I go to a bar classand then I sit all day and write
.
I was like I got to move first,otherwise I will go nuts.
So doing that felt like yoga,even though it wasn't asana.
But then I came back to anasana practice after that and I

(17:56):
was like, ooh, this feelsdifferent because I've been
doing other things and I've notbeen doing these things.
And so even just that evolutionof the relationship to the
physical because you're talkingabout this like really intense
focus on it, and sometimes,interestingly, even attachment,
even though we talk aboutattachment in yoga philosophy
right, like this has to look acertain way or it has to.

(18:16):
You know, I have to get to thislevel or even if it's not right
for my body.
So I feel like there've beenmore conversations in yoga
around that.
When we both started I thinkit's around the same time I got
there in 98, in 2003.
So it's like you're in it andthen you can kind of fall into
that.
Oh well, especially withsomething like Ashtanga, level
one, level two, right, likewhich sequence are you doing?

(18:38):
Which thing have you achieved?
And even though we talk aboutnot focusing on it, it still
ends up coming back around andso shifting that focus from
asana to life and viewing,living and connection and
parenting and presence, whichI'd love to talk about more as
an advanced practice right, likereally living that.

(18:59):
All of that foundation was forthis and even if you're not a
parent, it's for your life right, it's for managing life.
You mentioned saying somethingand believing it when you're
young.
And then you're like oh, lateron like this though oh, yeah,
yeah, okay, Now I'm really goingto apply that, and that's
actually a lot harder than Ithought it was when I said it.

Sarah Ezrin (19:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, it's amazing the wisdomthat I had in those days and
maybe I was teaching for theperson that I wanted to become
like in the same way that youparent for the parent that you
wish that you had.
I think I was teaching for thestudents that I was in those
days, even though simultaneouslyI was still deep in my eating
disorder and super overoverachieving and using that as

(19:45):
a coping mechanism for myanxiety.
You know it's like I was doingthose things.
But then I'd come into the roomand I would put the music on
and I would have these beautifulbodies in front of me and I
would start to lead them fromthis really compassionate way
and I would be like horrified ifsomeone wasn't listening to
their body.
I would like get mad at them.
Literally.
I was like no, take thevariation, like you need to take

(20:07):
the variation, but thenmeanwhile I'm at home in severe
pain and I'm still shoving myleg behind my head.
So I do think, like you know,the shoemakers children have no
shoes.
That saying, I started as theteacher that I needed to be, but
then I actually ended upgrowing into that and I actually
ended up growing into that andI love.
In those early days I wouldalways have to be in the front
row and I would have to do everysingle thing that was offered.

(20:29):
It was always like had to dothe most advanced version.
And these days I don't reallyeven go to classes.
If I do, I'm in the back, Idon't, I think when I get called
on to demo cause you know,annie's up here now and Annie
Carpenter is my teacher I'm like, oh God, like where I used to
be, like hello, you know now.
I'm like embarrassed, like go tothe bathroom and it's just yeah

(20:49):
, it's just so fascinating, andyet I'm so much kinder to myself
but the kindness and I'm doinga lot more strength training
these days because I'mperimenopausal and I'm 43 and
it's just what feels good in mybody.
But even today I hadopportunities to like lift the

(21:11):
heaviest and I didn't.
I just was like okay, and Ilistened to my body and I'm
being so kind to myself.
It was like I grew into that.
So now I'm embodying theteacher that I always like she's
on my shoulder somewhere, thatwise teacher, that wise woman
and the kindness that you talkabout.

Lisa Danylchuk (21:22):
right, that could be an entire yoga practice
, right?
We like go to the beginning andwe look at ahimsa and we just
practice that and ahimsa.
For those of you who, aren't inthe yoga world non-harming,
non-violence or peacefulness.
If you're just practicing thatthroughout your day, like I'm
going to be kind to myself, okay, this is the right amount of

(21:44):
challenge for me.
Today I know a friend who wouldjoke that if she could do her
whole morning practice it wouldtake all day.
It's like, yeah, it probablywould, but what's actually the
most helpful and kind and thatpractice of peacefulness.
There was a period where I justfelt like maybe it was a
algorithm or maybe it was justwhat was popular with

(22:04):
influencers.
Everyone just like morningroutine, morning routine,
morning routine like everything.
I saw my morning routine.
I've had a whole bunch ofdifferent ones throughout my
life and what feels the bestright now is to like wake up a
little groggy and shuffle intothe kitchen and make coffee.
Like it feels like the mostbeautiful thing gift, and to not
have a list of anything that Ineed to do before I do

(22:28):
everything else right.
It's kind of a full circlemoment, right, because we could
start there and then be like, oh, I'm really feeling motivated,
I want to start meditating and Iwant to start doing green juice
or healthy shots or whatever inthe morning, and then you're
like back around, let me justkeep it simple, and that can be
really powerful too.

Sarah Ezrin (22:46):
Yeah, and also something that came out when
TikTok was being threatened tobe taken away was that all of
these influencers came out andsaid, oh, I don't actually do
any of those things.
I don't do the wellnesssuggestions and that was like
the joking trend, but they wereall coming up.
There was a woman who'd builtan entire business around ice.
I still don't really understandthe details of that and she's

(23:07):
like I don't even use the stuff,so take those things with a
grain of salt.
And similarly, like I had amorning like that too.
Because of the time change, I'mnormally up.
I do get up quite early becauseI need that alone time.
I'm up at like three, like youknow, eyes wide open, so I'll
lay in bed until four or fiveand then I get up and I have
some time before my kids get up.

(23:28):
But with the time change I gotup minutes before them and my
meditation was making my tea.
This morning.
It was hearing the boiling ofthe water.
It was watching the water as itpoured in.
It was not having any soundaround me.
I didn't even want to put ameditation into my ears.
So it changes day to day and Ithink we're setting ourselves up

(23:50):
.
We've commoditized wellness andself-care because it is a
billion dollar business or Ithink it's trillions now or
something.
Obviously don't quote me, chat,dbt it or Google it.
It's making a lot of money.
So people are turning it intothese to-do lists, as opposed to
what self-care truly is, whichis really listening.
It is a hymns.

(24:10):
Self-care is listening to yourbody.
It's setting boundaries.
It's knowing when you can andcannot, or knowing what Lisa
Walford used to always say justbecause you can doesn't mean you
should right.
That's the self-care of it.
And yes, so maybe that self-careincludes having a 10-minute sit
, maybe it includes having a20-minute sit.
Maybe it includes saying fuckit, I'm not supposed to start,

(24:32):
oh no, it's all good, forget it,okay, good, we're in good
company, saying forget it andjust doing the tea and just
doing the coffee.
So yeah, I think it really isthe redefining and giving
ourselves a break andunderstanding that what we see,
this curated version of wellnessis most likely inauthentic or
inaccurate, or it's just everchanging.

(24:54):
I mean, especially as women, ifyou're still getting your cycle
right Like it was a miraclethat I got out of bed a half an
hour early, as I'm on my cyclethis week, like that's a miracle
.
So I'm going to like I'll takethat, you know, and just be
fluid with it.

Lisa Danylchuk (25:11):
Take it and celebrate it, and I hear so much
yoga philosophy and what you'resaying in terms of, like stira
and sukha right, which is thesteadiness and the ease, the
structure and the flexibility,and those are things in mental
health too, like the chaos andthe rigidity, like these far
ends of the spectrum, tend tonot work so well for us.
But finding the middle ground isharder, because you have to go
a little this way and go oh,that's too much.
Go a little that way.
Okay, it's not that it's everone fixed point in the middle.
It's this dance and we reallywant just something steady or

(25:35):
something that's like completelyopen, like oh, I don't have to
think about it, or I only thinkabout it in, on and off and
right and wrong and this andthat, and it's just so much more
life is in the middle and somuch more access to that
peacefulness can be in themiddle.
But I think we naturally arelike, oh, I just want the answer
to be the same all the time,and it's not.

(25:55):
But again, all those years ofpracticing, or all those moments
of investing in yourself andreflecting, come out in these
little moments of decisionmaking.
So I'm curious for you when didyou first realize that
parenting was a yoga practice?
How did this yoga of parentingidea start to stir in you?

Sarah Ezrin (26:17):
That's such a great question.
I'm like, oh my God I don'tthink anyone's asked me that
Since the book came out, whichwas like two years.
Like when was that moment?
I can tell you when I thoughtabout the book, but the
connecting that yoga wasparenting.
When I was about to leave formaternity leave, there was a

(26:38):
woman that was taking my classesand she runs parenting groups
in the city in San Francisco.
Her name is Abby.
She was literally crying on mylast day and she's like I'm so
excited for you to step intothis new phase.
Like you have no idea, and youryoga practice has been
preparing you and I was sodisconnected First of all, just
a quick history.
Like I didn't necessarily evenwant to settle down and have a

(26:58):
family.
Like I was happy traveling theworld and I did feel connected
to my son as he grew inside ofme and it was this moment of
connection that I had never hadbefore.
But it still wasn't real.
You know, I was still trying tocontrol and curate and design
the birth that I was going tohave and told everybody I'd see
them in four weeks, kind ofthing.
I did assume I'd be back in atleast a month or two, if not

(27:20):
less, and so I'm like she's likecrying and like the seed was
planted.
And then, of course, I had abirth that was completely
unpredictable.
That literally tore me openfrom stem to stern.
Plus, my son was in the NICUfor a couple of days.
I got blasted through thatportal and then I was like what
is this?

(27:40):
We were like my head wasspinning.
I could not get my feetunderneath me.
The practice that I used to useto ground, which was very
intense asana, was the lastthing that I should have been
doing, and that felt good.
My mat no longer felt safe.
I wasn't even really thinkingabout yoga as a practice in
those moments.
I couldn't sit to meditate, Icould barely.

(28:02):
My anxiety was through the roof.
Later, around when my son waseight or nine months, I got
diagnosed as postpartum anxiety,having postpartum anxiety and
postpartum depression.
So then I was able to get onthe right medication and be
brought back down to earth again, but I think it was in the
attempting in those days, thatnine months of just like

(28:23):
complete ungrounding.
Like I did not have my feet onthe floor to try to make the
yoga work.
And I realized like I had been.
I was doing the same thing Ialways told people not to do,
which is attaching to thephysical.
I was attaching to the physicaland that was not the yoga.
And I was like, am I really notdoing yoga because I'm not
sitting for an hour in silenceor I'm not rolling out my mat

(28:46):
and doing an hour and a half ofmovement practice?
And once I was on the rightmedication and I had the right
team and I was starting to getmy feet back on the floor and
feel my bearings again.
I was teaching online and juststarting to get grounded.
That is when I realized, sarah,give yourself more credit,
think of all those moments thatwere in between.

(29:08):
And yes, I was very lost and nomy feet were not on the ground
for most of it, but there weremoments where maybe I was
breastfeeding or we were out fora walk, or I was singing to him
, or it was just like the gazing.
There's a beautiful picture ofme and my oldest when he was
like four months old, and he'sjust looking up at me, smiling,
and I'm looking down.

(29:28):
we're lying in the bed likethose were the yoga moments and
that aha to me.
That was like around when I hadfelt the creativity bubbling up
inside of me and it was Mel,our mutual friend Mel, mama Mel,
who was like I think you shouldwrite a book.
And I'm like, really, and thenit was just one of those fingers
and I was like like that's thebook.
That's the book.

(29:49):
Yes, because all the parentingbooks I'd read up until then
were prescriptive.
They made me feel worse.
They were talking about all thethings I needed to do.
It wasn't pointing out thethings that I was already doing
and that's what I wanted tocreate.
I wanted, a to bring the yogapractice into the parenting, and

(30:09):
B also to give peoplepermission.
That was my big bull behind thebook Permission, permission,
permission, figure it out.
Everything's a spectrum.
I don't have the answers foryou, but let's pay attention to
the things you already are doing.
Let's experiment together.
I'll be here to create thespace and I was was like, oh my
goodness, this is how I wouldteach my classes.

(30:30):
I wanted to always hold thespace for people to have their
own experience and if I couldhelp parents in that way and now
I'm focused a little more onmoms.
But if I can help people inthat way, to me that's the
greatest gift I can give.
I'm not there telling peoplewhat to do, I am just holding
the space for them to kind ofbounce around, and sometimes

(30:52):
they have to leave the containerand come back into it.
But it was that experience thatled me to be like oh my
goodness, let's put this down onpaper.

Lisa Danylchuk (31:01):
And it is such an important angle to hold space
for parents, to redirect peopleto their own inner knowing,
which is very yoga.
Right, it's very yoga.
Not that it always happens inyoga dynamics, but to have
people have the opportunity toreflect too on something, find
what's right for them.

(31:21):
And I know in your book youreference some parenting experts
and I don't know can anyoneever be an expert in parenting?
Some parenting experts?
And I don't know, can anyoneever be an expert in parenting?
I mean because it's so uniqueand because every kid is so
unique.
But you do such a great jobdirecting people back, inviting
people back to their bodies.
And then I love the 10 tips forbusy parents.
At the end Fun fact I listenedto your book on 1.5 speed and I

(31:45):
was like am I just going to talk?
This whole interview?
Super fast.

Sarah Ezrin (31:51):
I already talk at 1.5 speed.
When I have to like reviewstuff, any of the content, cause
I I try to get through, I dothat.
That's a great hack, by the way, for anybody that's busy,
especially if the person talksslow.
I do 1.5 and I can consume somuch, but I already talk about
me.
So whenever I try to watch backthings that I need to, I'm like
, oh my gosh, there I really gotto slow it down, take a breath.

Lisa Danylchuk (32:14):
I was like am I going to be like who is this
person?
I'm talking to us.
That was just not happening.
It's not happening.
But, but I listened through toit and I mean it's.
It's great for learning topreview and review.
But also just like, hey, Irecognize you're busy and I get
that while you were listening tothis audio book or reading this
book if you're reading itsomebody might've been chewing
on your nipples or you might'vebeen driving and trying to get

(32:36):
water from the little cubby intoyour kid's hand in the backseat
, like just acknowledging thereality that you've lived and
that you know can be parenting,which is stuff's all over the
place, it's chaotic and it's notwithin our control.
But still, coming back to thatand there were so many different
words from different leaders inthe field of parenting but like
that authoritative, that like,okay, I am crafted and I am a

(32:59):
leader in this family and I canmake choices, like there's a
sense of dynamic nervous systemregulation in that.
But there's also a sense ofconnecting to yourself,
connecting to the truth that youare in a position of power as a
parent and you do have choicesand that it's really easy to
want to just find one book andone method to follow and if you

(33:20):
find something that's superhelpful and it's working, great
for you and everybody's smilingand laughing phenomenal.
But I think a lot of timespeople do read books and try to
enforce it into their family,try to fit it into a place that
it doesn't really fit, and thenparents often end up feeling and
people in general in thisdynamic end up feeling like, oh,
there's something wrong with me.

(33:40):
Instead of having that space andcoming back to, oh, I can
actually take care of myself, Ican actually choose pleasure.
And I love, too, the yogapostures that you invite
throughout and the sequence atthe end.
I just thought that was reallybeautiful.
So it's interesting to hearthat it's like the seed was
planted when you're leaving onmaternity leave and there's all
this expectation of what's tocome.

(34:00):
And then you see, okay, eventhese first nine months, which
are so unpredictable and so muchis going on like, okay, I can
use these tools.
And then shout out to Mel,shout out to Mel Salvatore,
august, always there, the wisewhisper on your shoulder, just
exploring that opportunity foryou with the book.
And I'm so glad that it's inphysical form, because I know

(34:21):
like books can be their own baby, just to bring to life, yeah.

Sarah Ezrin (34:24):
And I didn't think about it until we were just
talking about the timeline of it, but I feel like I had to be
birthed into motherhood.
Yes, I was pregnant with mychild and, yes, I was growing
the baby and obviously I made alot of changes and everything
shifted, I mean on a cellularlevel.
It shifted from the firstpregnancy, which we lost and
then you know, from there on,but I think it was almost like

(34:47):
its own rebirthing for me tothen step through the threshold
of motherhood.
It was like a nine to 10 monthprocess, another nine to 10
months after that for writingthe book.
It is absolutely the book, baby.
I just will never forget beingin a mommy group.
We were all online at thatpoint Cause that's the other
thing my son was born December2019.
We had just had him and thenthe shutdowns happened.

(35:09):
We were so far away from ourfamilies and completely isolated
, and so we were online with oneof my mom groups and one of the
girls had just read a book andshe was just beating herself up
for not following the exactscript when her son was you know
, I mean, they might not haveeven been a year at this point
and she's like cause, you'regoing to have to go to therapy,
like genuinely beating herselfup over it, and the pressure

(35:34):
that we put on ourselves.
And, by the way, I see it inthe yoga rooms too, when you're
being told you must do a pose inthis way, and this is the quote
unquote, classical shape, andthis is how it is.
I think when you're younger, wedo think in that more black and
white way, and you have to learnto like, start to color outside
of the lines, but now, likebeing in that fluidity, like we

(35:56):
talked about yoga.
You need to be flexible foryoga, which you don't, by the
way.
People always say that theyneed to, but no, that's the
whole point.
But this is the flexibilitywe're talking about.
It's the flexibility to be likeokay, I messed that up and
apologize and do the repair andthen try a different task the
next time, and I mean especiallyif you have multiple children
like one book will not be theanswer.

(36:18):
And just again it comes backlike compassion.
Compassion I mean that's one ofthe subtitles of the book is
like being kind to ourselves.
Right, that's the flexibility.
That's where I think it mattersway more than any like behind
the head or grabbing ankles orany of that stuff.

Lisa Danylchuk (36:32):
Yeah, you're like putting your leg behind
your head and your kid's like Idon't care.

Sarah Ezrin (36:37):
Like I don't care about that at all.
I was choking the other day.
Okay, I was like leaning over achair trying to give myself a
Heimlich remover and my son islike.
And then on Wildcraft, martinMartin, he's like telling me a
story.
He had no awareness and I'mlike dying, I'm punching myself
in the stomach and then and I'mlike shaking and sweating, and

(36:59):
then you know they don't care,they're totally oblivious, hey
mom are you listening?
Exactly, exactly.

Lisa Danylchuk (37:08):
Oh, I feel like that just highlights so many
moments of parenting where yourneeds are so backseat to people
around you, and rightfully so,developmentally speaking, for
them, but at the same time it'slike, hey, what about me?
So if we're not having someawareness of our own needs?
Like, thankfully you recognizethat you were choking and you
knew that you could use thechair, you were your own best

(37:29):
caretaker in that moment andyou're fine.

Sarah Ezrin (37:31):
Like I'm fine, I'm here.
I mean, you know, I don't know,maybe this is, maybe this is
like the good place.
I don't know.

Lisa Danylchuk (37:38):
So what common feedback are you getting about
your book and imagine it mightbe a little bit different for
people who are really steeped inyoga versus people who are more
looking from just the parentingside and leaning towards the
yoga side.
What are some themes that areshowing up in terms of how
people are responding?

Sarah Ezrin (37:55):
Yeah, that's another great question.
I love your very good questions, lisa.
Yeah, I mean, it's been out fora while now, right?
So I've talked to a lot ofdifferent people and there was
the blurbers.
So those are the people likeour mutual friend Mel or Jibana
Heyman, who's a phenomenalteacher and created Accessible
Yoga Foundation blurbers, andyou know her from the like

(38:21):
trauma informed work.
I mean, she is a master.
So hearing their feedback waslike, oh my gosh, right, like
that.
That was amazing.
Their thing was all about thepermission to.
I did end up interviewing a lotof the people that did the
blurbs for the book for, like, Ihad a very, very brief, limited
series podcast just to likesupport the book coming out.
It was cool that everybody wastalking about their own
humanness and the making ofmistakes and, like, again, it's

(38:43):
the space for permission,self-compassion that was coming
up in so many different ways.
So, like it doesn't matter ifyou have adult children that are
.
I interviewed one woman who wasa longtime student of mine, who
now has 40 year olds you knowwho are.
They're like my age, herchildren are my age and she was

(39:04):
saying, like even now she stillhas to practice that
self-compassion and thatkindness and that forgiveness.
I think that's really the keyand I have a very as much as I
have a wise woman on oneshoulder, I have a very harsh
critic on another shoulder andlike a real task master, and I
think that's why I was drawn tocertain styles of yoga or the
certain types of teachers that Iwas.

(39:26):
But parenting is like that's thelast thing I need, especially
if I want to show up in the sameway that I'm showing up as the
teacher that I needed and thepractitioner that I then became.
I'm trying to show up as theparent that my kids need, but
also the parent that I need, andI don't need the taskmaster in
those moments.
I need somebody that's going tobe really gentle and really

(39:47):
kind.
That's what I wanted to createin the book and I'm luckily
that's coming through.
But like also what we failed tomention is half of the book are
interviews right, like it's notmy words or wisdom, it's all
coming from these amazingparents that I got to talk to
and most of whom are eitherlongtime practitioners or

(40:07):
well-known teachers or justpsychologists or experts in
their field.
Hearing it from them andeveryone that was the through
line, everyone's like only youknow your kid.
Everyone that was the throughline Everyone's.
Like only you know your kid.

Lisa Danylchuk (40:23):
You are the best parent for your child and give
yourself a break.
Yeah, give yourself so muchgrace.
Yeah, because that too ismodeling right, which is one of
the most powerful ways to learnis by soaking it in seeing other
people do it.
Our kids are so attuned I meandaughter's in the phase right
now where she just repeatseverything I say and it's so

(40:43):
amazing.
And then it's so like oh, Ijust said that, like okay, well,
if I don't want you to repeatit, I'm just not going to repeat
it again.
But being able to model thathumanness and being able to come
back to that sense of gracejust feels like just like a
relief, like there's enough ifyour sleep is interrupted and

(41:04):
you're going into new territory,even if you're a multiple time
parent, right, new territoryevery time.
So I think it's a good anchorpoint to come back to like a
little bit of ease.
I was thinking about Mel thismorning, because she always says
hold it lightly.
And it makes me think of that.

(41:27):
Oh, just hold it lightly.
Is there anything?
Now that the book's been out,you've promoted it, you've
talked to people about it it hasa life of its own.
Is there anything that you'relike?
Oh, I would love to add thispart to it.
I mean, it's a physical thingand then it's out in the world
and I know you're like bring itback add this thing.

Sarah Ezrin (41:43):
Well, it's funny, yeah.
So one of like the tagline ofthe book is the most advanced.
The most advanced yoga I'veever done is raising my children
.
Well, I would take that backnow and I would say that the
most advanced yoga I've everdone is trying to co-parent with
another adult and raise yourchildren together and we're
married.
I mean, we're in a partnership,but I just think like two adults

(42:06):
coming from very differentexperiences whose traumas maybe
highlight the other ones, andthis one's coming from a very
different type of parentingperspective.
That is the most difficultthing.
Everyone's like oh, maybe it'sthe yoga of marriage is your
next book and, like my husbandand I will, talk about it but
like that needs to be mentioned.
The partnership part of it needsto be mentioned, even if it's

(42:29):
just don't worry you, as thesolo person can do the work and
it will make a difference.
The relationship piece is worthmentioning because it is really
hard to show up as a consciousparent when you're living with
somebody that may have a littlebit more old school values or
your traumas rubbing againsteach other, triggered by

(42:55):
interactions between my husbandand my children, and then I'm
jumping in and I'm I'm insertingmyself when they have, they're
perfectly capable of everybodysorting out themselves.
In my mind it feels like dangerbecause I grew up in an
alcoholic home and I get reallyscared and a voice gets raised.
But the other day what I'vebeen practicing is this like

(43:17):
really taking a beat, and Ithank God I wasn't in the house
Cause if I was in the house Iwould have jumped in.
What I've been practicing isthis like really taking a beat
and I thank God I wasn't in thehouse, cause if I was in the
house I would have jumped in.
But I was like our laundry roomwas outside of the house and I
heard the voices start toescalate and I had that impulse
to jump in and I just took abreath and I focused on the
laundry and they worked it outimmediately and the mental

(43:37):
freedom of not having to take onmy child's emotions or my
husband's emotions or having totake sides and inserting myself.
There was something verybeautiful about that.
If I had to do it again, Iwould maybe include a chapter
just mentioning what it is liketo parent and partnership.

(43:57):
I didn't do a ton of partneryoga, you know, like growing up,
but I imagine, or acro yogaeven there is something about
the yield and the strength andthen holding themselves and who
is leading in this moment andthen, when you're both leading
together, everybody who's grownup in the acro yoga and the
partner yoga community you cantell me if it's comparable to

(44:19):
explain.
But yeah, there's somethingthere that thank goodness for my
yoga practice again, because itgives me pause and it really
shows me it's.
We talked about the boundaryspectrum, right, like when can I
soften so he can step up alittle more?
When can I step up a littlemore and he can soften?
How do we find each other inthe middle?
It's a complex piece if that'syour circumstance.

Lisa Danylchuk (44:42):
I think I just had a moment really similar the
other day where I was behindsome door it might've been the
laundry room and I heard mydaughter start to protest, kind
of like she wasn't quite cryingyet but like getting escalated,
and she was with her dad and hewas watching her and I just felt
this like pull to go in andlike see her or figure out what

(45:03):
was going on.
And I just did exactly whatyou're describing like he's with
her now.
I don't need to get in themiddle, I'm just gonna keep
doing what I'm doing, I'm gonnatake a breath and then it just
resolved.
Yeah, she's like, wow, that wasmagic, right.
Yeah, enough to be so in it.
Every moment when there's twopeople, lean on that, use that

(45:27):
right.
But then there are thesemoments where we're talking
about oh, you're your bestparent for your child and listen
to yourself and trust yourintuition.
It's like if there's two peopleand you're in the same house or
you're in separate houses,there's other complications to
it.
But how do you do that balance?
and advance back and forth.
When someone's culture or theirtriggers or their intuition are

(45:47):
going this way, yours is goingthe other way.
You know and like to even havethe space to try to connect and
work through that understand it,come to a shared understanding
even if you don't agree, likethat takes time and energy that
a lot of times we don't feellike we have.
So doing that little dance,that energetic dance, I'd love
for an acro or someone who'sdone a lot of partner yoga to

(46:09):
like chime in on this and writean article or a book is probably
out there somewhere of how wecan apply that.
And that is an important piece,right?
Because even if there's aparent who's passed or who's
absent, there's still that'sstill a parent to the child,
right?
And how does that impact them?

Sarah Ezrin (46:26):
Yeah, I mean you brought up one of the bigger
pieces of it for me which hasbeen the most challenging, which
is that my intuition says onething and his says another and
when you're trying to compromisein those circumstances it's
really challenging.
And then you're like who's into?
Is it my intuition or is it myanxiety?
Is it his anxiety or is it hisintuition?

(46:48):
How do you know who's grounded?
How do you know where to go?
As much as my yoga practice, mymeditation practice, has been
healing for me.
My Al-Anon recovery work hasbeen incredibly healing, which
is the program for friends andfamilies, alcoholics.
A lot of that is you don'tforce solutions, right, like the
difference of the willfulnesswhen we will our way through
life.

(47:08):
If there isn't a clear answer,then maybe that's not the time
to be pushing towards that, sotrusting that.
But if it's something that youhave a strong conviction on,
like we disagreed and when Ishould stop breastfeeding, I
wanted to continue and likesomething like that, I'm like,
no, that's you know, it's mybody, I'm going to dig my heels
into the ground and this issomething that I am going to
hang on to.

(47:28):
But then he was ready tointroduce toilet teaching.
Before I was ready.
It felt like we were forcingsomething.
But then there was a window andmy son was like I'm ready and
my husband was right.
So there's many moments of that, and I think it's like sit back

(47:48):
and let the environment unfoldin front of you and just see if
you can start to see the clues.
Both of you may have differingideas, but you'll start to see
the signs from the universe, orsigns from your children too.
Right, this is what we're readyfor in this moment.

Lisa Danylchuk (47:59):
Yeah, and for some of us that's kind of
bringing it in.
We're talking about boundariesor focus, and for some of us
that's really letting go.
And I think there's definitelya theme, when you talk about
this in terms of thetransformation of your child as
they grow too, of just lettinggo.
Letting go of what you thoughtit was going to look like,
letting go of your birth plan orwhatever else that didn't go in
the way you envisioned it.
There's a lot in the yoga worldand when we talk about some

(48:23):
spiritual circles, about likemanifesting, it's like well, if
you write the script and yourehearse it and you think of the
emotion of it, then that's howit's going to go, and it's like
that's a little narrow right,Like maybe there's some thing
you can bring to it, some energy, some resources, some visioning
, some opening to certainconnections or supports.

(48:43):
But this is something that wedon't have ultimate control and
that can feel really hard,especially when there's
something as vulnerable as, likeyour child's well-being right
at stake.
So it can just bring up all thepast trauma or ways that we
respond to it that we're stillmaybe mildly aware of or not
aware of yet.
And that's coming into theequation and it's a lot to.

(49:04):
It's a lot to unpack.
A lot of layers, so back tograce, right Back to grace, and
like any amount of yoga wouldsay, self-study, reflection and,
as we're connecting to eachother and having different
experiences, co-parents, havingspace for that is important too.
Oh, we feel like we could talkforever, but I want to ask you a
few more things before we go.

(49:24):
So you've written this book andyou've gotten feedback.
I feel like a book often starts, too, with a curiosity, but
also a passion for somethingright, like I know.
For me, I felt energeticallylike, oh, I want to write a book
.
And then I wrote one and I waslike, oh, I didn't get it, like
it was okay, but like I stillwant to write another one.
I wrote a different one.
I was like, okay, that was good, but like I didn't get it.

(49:48):
And I wrote my third book andit was like a birth, coming up
and out of my face into thecomputer, Like we felt it
energetically in that way.
So I'm wondering if there's anycore message, and I do encourage
folks to listen on Audible orpick up a coffee and a copy.
I think there's a lot of wisdomand support and nurturing in
this book that you don't reallyfind everywhere and I think we

(50:09):
really need.
But if you could distill, ifyou can magically download
something into a listener's mindor a parent who's like help,
help, Sarah, you wrote thiswhole book and I'm struggling.
What would be the thing, theawareness or the emotion that
you would want to share?

Sarah Ezrin (50:26):
Yeah, I mean I think it's everything we've
already been saying distilleddown into you are the best
parent for your child, and thereare going to be experts and
there's going to be guides, andthere's going to be opinions,
and sometimes that opinion isthe person you share a bed with
and you share DNA with thechildren with.
But ultimately you have thisplace of innate knowing.
It's just a matter of gettingquiet enough to really hear it

(50:49):
and pulling back enough to watchthe child, to figure out, to
let them tell you, becausethat's really where, where it's
coming from.
I mean, I think that's thedeepest thing.
I love hearing that just from anauthor's perspective of your
writing, because I know there'sa book two inside of me and
maybe a book three.
I think that's reallyremarkable.
It's like finding the idea isalways hard.

(51:11):
So you know, I have all thesefriends that like they weren't
even done with their press tourfor their first book and they're
like, yeah, I've alreadystarted working on number two.
I love the idea of it, like itdownloads through you and
creativity.
We have those moments andartists have felt it before and
musicians can feel it.
And we feel it when we're withour kids, but we can also feel

(51:32):
it in those moments ofdecision-making and those
moments of how we can best carefor our children.
It's just a matter of beingconnected to source in whatever
way works for that person.

Lisa Danylchuk (51:43):
So yeah, trust yourself and being open to that
level of intuition or sometimesit feels like flow, sometimes it
doesn't, but just allowing itto move through you.
So last couple of questions tomove through you.
So last couple of questions.
Someone came on the podcast,jennifer Gomez.
I always shout her out withthis term dreamstorming, where

(52:08):
you go on brainstorming and youjust live the vision.
So if you were living thevision of resources for parents,
pregnant people, mothers whatwould you want to see?
How would the world lookdifferent?
To support people, and I'mthinking pregnancy, first year,
postpartum, but we could go allthe way until your kids are 40,
if you want.

Sarah Ezrin (52:26):
The systems are broken and the systems need to
change.
I'm a huge supporter of chamberof mothers.
I'm a part of their North Baychapter.
Here I know they have.
I think you feel like you'recloser to the South Bay one, but
they need an East Bay one too.
What they are?
They are big proponents of paidfamily leave, affordable child
care, maternal mental healthoverall and especially maternal

(52:49):
mortality.
It's advocating for all of thosethings.
It's like take care of themother, you take care of the
mother and you're taking care ofthe child, and that's the
health of the entire system.
Those things need to happen.
We need longer maternity leave.
We need paternity leave.
We need to have maternity andpaternity leave given in a
culture where people are it'sacceptable for them to take it,

(53:12):
because, sure, a lot of thesetech companies will have pretty
impressive paternity leave, butthen when a father steps up or
someone who identifies as afather steps up to take it, then
they're actually like, oh well,no, you can't really take it,
like, yes, you have six weeks,but you can do one week and then
you're back, kind of thing.
So we need cultures that arealso like accepting of that.

(53:33):
Paid family leave is acompletely separate thing.
So, yes, paid family leave forduring the postpartum period,
but what about all those sickdays?
Who does it inevitably fallupon if there's two parents?
And if there's one parent,what's that person going to do?
Because the workday doesn'tstop because of the school
calendar and that's like thoseare when you're there emergency

(53:53):
situations, nevermind just thedays that the schools have to
close or the hours of the school.
So I think modeling shorterwork days, shorter work weeks,
ways to have much moreflexibility within the work
system, so people are not justshowing up as workers that are
being drilled into the ground tomake someone at the top more

(54:15):
money, that we are seen as humanbeings with lives and following
much more of like the models ofwhat we see in Europe.
With that, yes, where peoplecan, can you know things are
like these incredible schools inFrance, for example, that have
full meals for the children andyou know there's like rethinking
things in those ways.

(54:35):
So there is support.
It becomes collective again.
We're so individualistic inthis part of the world and it's
just getting worse right now andwe forget that like we've only
been industrialized for likehowever long right, I mean, it
really has only been a blip onthe map of our timeline.

(54:57):
As human beings, we were intribes, we were in nomadic
cultures of helping each other,moving together in community.
That's how things are going tochange.
I also think that there needs tobe more like brick and mortar
locations where moms can and notjust moms, I just I'm like

(55:18):
focused in the mom world rightnow but where parents can drop
their kids off.
It's a daycare that isaffordable, that is woven in
there, whether it's a co-workingspace or some kind of movement.
Like you know, it has to belike a one-stop shop.
I remember reading about thatin the second world war, that
there used to be a place whereyou could drop off your dry
cleaning and your laundry andyour child, and it was all the

(55:41):
same place and this was all agovernment funded entity.
You know things like that.
Those are the things that weneed support.
Sure, we can do yoga.
We can weave in minutes of selfcare here and there, we can do
these yoga snacks, as I like tocall them.
You can even get better aboutsetting your boundaries, but if
the foundation is broken fromunderneath us, we're still going

(56:01):
to be falling into quicksand,no matter what.

Lisa Danylchuk (56:04):
Yeah, and what I hear in that is a collective
focus on families, because welive in a culture that's much
more collectively focused onwork and other things.
Thank you so much.
Is there anything that iscoming next for you that you
want to share?
And there's books percolating,it sounds like.

Sarah Ezrin (56:21):
Sure, yeah, yeah.
One of the things I'm trying todo is make an online village,
so I'm creating more onlinecontent for moms and I have
different programs.
I've got a three month groupcoaching program and it weaves
in it's.
It is yoga based, but it reallyis nervous system healing,
energy management things.
But it's you know, you know youand I like wink, wink, it's the

(56:41):
yoga.

Lisa Danylchuk (56:41):
I know I'm a wink wink again.

Sarah Ezrin (56:43):
I feel like you're speaking the same language it is
the yoga.
But if I say yoga theneverybody thinks it's just
movements and then you get themin.
You're like getting themjournaling.
You're like these, but yeah,yeah, like that is the yoga.
So just offering a lot morestuff online, because for where
I am right now in my life, thatis also more flexible for me.
I feel like I can reach moremoms in that way.
I want to be able to helppeople, whether it's connecting

(57:05):
other moms together or providingways for affordable outsourcing
, or providing ideas for moreefficiency in the home or just
encouragement to drop the ball,because I think that's a huge
part of it too.
That's what I'm trying to donow, so look out for those.
My group coaching program iscoming beginning of summer.

Lisa Danylchuk (57:24):
And what's your?
Is it sarahesrincom?
Yeah?

Sarah Ezrin (57:27):
sarahesrinyogacom and sarahesrinyoga on Instagram
and that's where I'm probablythe most active, although I'm
getting better about YouTube andjust like offering as much as
many resources as I can.
It's literally like I'm likedrowning in my living room
because somebody is doingsomething or has a weapon, or
has turned a candy cane into aweapon A true story.

(57:49):
You're like how is this themost benign thing?
And you're stabbing each otherwith it and then like finding
the grounding or maybe yellingat them and then being kind to
myself and then repairing withthem, and then I'm like, okay, I
got to share this tip becausethis, this really works.
That's, it is literally in thefield.

Lisa Danylchuk (58:08):
Reporting from the wild of my living room, the
wild west of this candy caneforest.
Yes, that's exactly where I am,Love it.
I always love asking thisquestion what brings you hope?
We're talking about systems canset us up to feel like we're in
quicksand.
You might be breaking up acandy cane fight one day.
You might be lighting a candlein the middle of cooking the

(58:31):
other day.
What orients you to like?
Oh?
I think maybe we can all dothis.

Sarah Ezrin (58:37):
Yeah, I think watching the support around in
the parenting community andspecifically moms supporting
moms, because I grew up at atime I was the youngest of five
kids, I had three brothers, Ihad my girlfriends, but it was
still like the nineties wherethat boy of mine was like the
hit song on the radio and Istill, like always, gravitated

(59:00):
towards the boys more.
I thought I was like a boy'sgirl and all of that stuff.
When I became a mom I found, incommunion with other women in
circle, this incredible powerand magic.
That is like, oh my gosh, evenjust talking to you right now,
I'm like let's like we'll hangup the phone and then we'll

(59:22):
start emailing each other ideasLike let's change the world and
I don't mean to just make itabout just moms.
I think it's like excited humanbeings that are in a similar
lifetime, because I can see itwith my husband and his friends
too.
But for me it's just this magicof being around other moms and
all of us collectively beinglike something's got to change,

(59:43):
what are we going to do?
And the power of getting thosewomen together and brainstorming
together, like that's like talkabout a rising tide lifts all
ships, like we are.
There is an elevation happeningand everybody's down for the
game right now and that's reallyexciting to be a part of.

Lisa Danylchuk (01:00:00):
I love it.
I love it so much.
And yeah, I know I was thinkingtoo.
I was like, okay, I'm going toenvision, I'm going to dream
storm, like I'm going to meetyou at Mel's house, at her home
studio how about that?
The Olmstead, one of these days?
I don't know how long it'sgoing to be, but one of these
days maybe we could be in 3Dtogether.

(01:00:20):
And maybe one of these daysbecause I think you and I both
have like an online platform andthe access we have through
online is incredible, right, youcan have people from all over
the world joining and havingconversations live.
And then you talked aboutbecause I had the same thing
when I was leaving the hospitalafter Isabella was born, and
it's like visioning thesebuildings, like you could go to
where there was all this supportand care and nurturing, like,

(01:00:41):
okay, that hospital's there,that's great, I'm glad it's
there.
I'm envisioning this placeacross the street.
That's like a lower buildingand it's circular and there's
like an acupuncturist andthere's like big open playground
in the middle and then there'sclassrooms or childcare
activities and yoga and therapyand dry cleaning.
Now, and it's so funny becausewhat I'm envisioning is really a

(01:01:07):
community right.

Sarah Ezrin (01:01:08):
A community.

Lisa Danylchuk (01:01:09):
It's like taking this big world that we've lived
in and boiling it back downinto a village where you can
just walk across the street anddrop off your laundry or I don't
know, bring it to the river orwhatever.
We do Like we can actually justhandle business in a manageable
container and have support likeactual people's support.
So I hope those things come tolife.

(01:01:30):
I had all these ideas too.
I mean, I'm literally like witha three day old in my arms,
thinking like I should call thisperson and we should do that
same energy.

Sarah Ezrin (01:01:39):
It's a cracking open.

Lisa Danylchuk (01:01:41):
Yeah that you're talking about, so that I thank
you for sharing that.
That brings me hope as well,and it makes me want to connect
with more women in person, soI'm going to tag Mel and be like
you need a women's day at yourown stead.
You need a mama's day you canhave a father's day the other
day, if you want.

Sarah Ezrin (01:01:56):
That's just a different lane.
It was a very hard decision forme to go from.
I wanted to help parents allparents to helping just moms.
But I don't mean to discountthe dads.
I think there's a space forthat.
I just personally from my ownlived experience relating a
little bit more to that.
But absolutely I hope there's adad listening or a non binary
parent listening and somethinggets sparked inside of you and

(01:02:19):
that's the intersection thatyou're gonna run with and you're
gonna build the community thatwe're talking about, because we
all need it.
We all need it.
Even non-parents need it too.
We're in this phase ofcaretaking for our elderly
parents.
So if you are a caretaker ofany kind, we all need that kind
of support.
So I really hope people will gointo your community wherever

(01:02:40):
you identify and create thatthat.
We are the ones that can createthat and we all have that power
.

Lisa Danylchuk (01:02:46):
Yes, I love it.
Sarah Ezrin, thank you so much.
Thanks for being here, thanksfor all you do and thanks for
you know.
Just a shout out to like allthe work you've done on yourself
, cause that's what you get toshare with other people, right?
And I think sometimes we forgetthat when you're out there
holding space as a yoga teacheror writing a book, there's a lot
of backstory, there's a lot ofhours on a yoga mat, there's

(01:03:07):
probably a lot of therapysessions, there's a lot of
figuring out hard things andthen feeling that, ooh, we can,
we can share this healing.
So thank you for that.
Love that.
Thank you, Thanks so much forlistening.
Now I'd love to hear from youhow does your yoga or

(01:03:28):
mindfulness practice show up indaily life.
What micro moments of kindness,self-compassion or pleasure
serve you and support you?
Share your answers and what'sbeen healing for you in the
comments below on YouTube orfind me on Instagram at
HowWeCanHeal.
Don't forget to go toHowWeCanHealcom to sign up for
email updates.
You'll also find additionaltrainings, tons of helpful

(01:03:51):
resources and the fulltranscript of each show.
If you love the show, pleaseleave us a review on Apple,
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If you're watching on YouTube,be sure to like and subscribe,
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Visit howwecanhealcom forwardslash podcast to share your

(01:04:13):
thoughts and ideas for the show.
I love hearing from you.
Before we wrap up for today, Iwant to be clear that this
podcast isn't offeringprescriptions.
It's not advice, nor is it anykind of mental health treatment
or diagnosis.
Your decisions are in yourhands and I encourage you to
consult with any healthcareprofessionals you may need to

(01:04:34):
support you through your uniquepath of healing.
In addition, everyone's opinionhere is their own.
Guests share their thoughts,not that of the host or sponsors
.
I'd like to thank our gueststoday, everyone who helps
support this podcast directlyand indirectly.
Alex, shout out to you fortaking care of the babe and the
fur babies while I record.

(01:04:54):
Last but never least, I'd liketo give a shout out to my big
brother, matt, who passed awayin 2002.
He wrote this music and itmakes my heart so happy to share
it with you.

(01:05:35):
Thank you.