April 15, 2025 • 50 mins
Sharelle and Alexis react First Lady Michelle Obama addressing rumors that her and President Barack Obama are heading for a divorce, Luxury Black Girl TikTok trends, and Gayle King headling a group of celebrities boarding the Blue Origin Space Flight.
01:38 - Intro
10:40 - Luxury black girl TikTok
40:45 - Michelle & Barack Obama divorce rumors
(Timestamps may vary based on advertisements.)
#Club
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Like get in my way, never out of my Name's
been like you one and the more one. So what
is gonna be? Baby squad? When you let me put
it down? I love that and Judge, welcome back that Easy,
are back with another episode of the Humble Baddies Podcast.
I'm your girl Ashley Nicole, and I'm surel Risotto and
(00:26):
I'm Alexis welch Stodamire and we are the Humble Baddy.
I'm a lady. Okay, what's going on everybody we over here? Well?
(00:48):
I just ask you were playing it for? Who is
who's getting married? It's a a well known Nigerian princess.
Her mom is was on house walks of Legos and
(01:08):
now she's the actor. It's her daughter, so we're going
to support her daughter while she embraced this new life
of marriage. Beautiful out here in Nigeria living our best
Nija queen lines right now and join it out here.
(01:29):
What you've been up to? Like? I had to send
off my oldest son to prom. He just asked his
date on Wednesday and he prom was on Friday, so
we had to get things together real quickly. Went to
the mall with him and just got him right and
sent him off. So that's two down. I have two left,
(01:52):
so I'm crossing them off the list. So that was
the dope thing. And then I was named Miami is
one of Miami's most stylish residents. So I'm one of
the cover I'm on the cover article in Miami Lifestyle magazine.
So I'm representing for the ladies, black women holding it down,
(02:15):
you know. So that was that was awesome to have
that acknowledgment and really just to be seen so celebrating
that a little bit. Yeah, congracts on that, thank you,
Thank you. Did they have the Fever party or something
like that? They they are getting ready to have one
(02:36):
next week, but I'll be unavailable to ten, so I
won't be able to go. But I think they only
it was only about maybe ten of us that got selected.
There were couples, and Forrella and I were the only
black folks holding it down, you know, for everybody in
Miami we got to represent. So I'm glad I was chosen.
So I was happy to happy to, you know, show
(02:57):
up and I'm prepping for thank you next month. Thank
crazy money on everything, So I'm right behind you. Legs. No,
it's different for the girls, cause it's like with Deuce.
I mean he was just like, yeah, I'm going to
(03:18):
prom on Friday. I'll get my text pressed and let's
go get some new shoes. That was it. I'm like,
this is I like people coming over? Yeah? I was like,
are people coming over? What we gonna do? Should we
should I host something? He's my, uh nah, We're just
gonna meet here and then we're gonna we're gonna go
somewhere else with a ray. I mean, it's a month,
(03:39):
and it's a month in advance. It's hair appointments, it's nails.
It's so much more maintenance. So the luck, the luck,
it's already been a headache we've been We ordered her
dress in January and it's just been on my house.
Have you seen like these posles and the whole the
(04:02):
prom over the top proms and like the car rentals
and just the trains and all these things. There's so
much that's going into it, and like the little events
like don't they are you gonna hold something to like
send her off? Like are you gonna do all of
that too? He said, anything she about to get a
drink herthy, I'm not hosting other than I'm tired to
(04:23):
spend This girl is so boogy. She for her birthday,
she took a flight, she went on vacation her and
her friends. She had a birthday overseas. Then she came back.
She wented to spend time in Miami. We got her yat.
She turned up on her yacht with her friends, had
the whole boat decorated. She is, it's too much. I'm
(04:43):
ready for her behind to go to college. It does it?
Does they feel if you ask you have boys? I
got boys? Thank God, I'm ready to splurge back on
myself now a little. Yeah, okay, yeah, the ladies is definitely,
(05:08):
you know, just it's just a lot more maintenance. And
speaking of ladies, y'all see the all female crew that
just went up to space and back. Yeah, yet scary though,
I don't know if I could do it. Well, y'all
ever go you would never go to Actually I watched
(05:29):
it live. I was watching it. See me, I've seen
them screaming. It was scary. I don't think I would
do that. I dropped out of airplanes and I did
everything else, But I don't know if I could do that.
Sign me up. I don't know. I don't know if
I need to do that, nill it. Some people were
(05:53):
unnecessary because I'm sure it costs a lot of money
to go there, you know what I mean? Well, I
mean yeah, I think they were saying this bit is
one hundred and fifty k per se or something like that,
so we're going to see this more often, I'm sure. Yeah,
(06:15):
Well cut us to those ladies. I saw Gail King.
She she was the only one looked a little scared,
you know, when they rang the bell get and knowing
everybody else looked like they were excited to go a
little scared. I would what if Jeff? It was why
(06:36):
it's enough? When it when I was watching what's Jeff
Jeff bezos fiance name Lauren? Lauren guys? I think that Chad. Yes,
she was like they were like, what if you know, basically,
if something would have happened. She was like, well, I
(06:57):
hope this would What if something tragic would have happened.
We're supposed to be getting married and it's not you know,
if something was to happen. But she was, she was happy,
she was excited. I was like, I could not do that,
Like that's just something because I don't know what could happen,
and I'm not in control of it. So past I
(07:18):
feel like my energy is more like anything can happen
walking outside your house or really inside your house. At
this point, you know, it's something that I think I
would do one so sign me on a I'm gonna
go do it, okay, girl, Well let us know or
you let that's ner in the future. I'm just curious.
(07:43):
I'm a little nerve when it comes to that kind
of stuff. You know. Yeah, I'd rather we do something
else with that money. I feel like there's so much
other things that we can do. I've watched the interview
with Katie Perry and she was talking about it, and
it just felt very like out of touch, just seemed
very unnecessary, very like, I don't know, it was just
(08:07):
given rich and out of touch. In my opinion, I
thought it was cool that we all like it was
tons of females. But it's funny. The shape of the
spaceship is hilarious to me. It looked like a giant
Penish look in did have you seen it? All these
(08:35):
ladies in there taking off and you're right, the giant, Yeah,
it's hilarious for them. Definitely go down in history. Yes, yes,
go to those ladies. Kudos to those ladies for going.
(08:55):
You know, I take my hat off to them. That's
something that I just could not do. I'm sorry, love
y'all though, Thank y'all for showing y'all experience live on TV.
And y'all are the humble babies that is show, Yes
they are. Let's get into it. The luxury black girl
TikTok okay, I'm here for it. I love anything luxury
(09:20):
dealing with black girls. What's that about? So basically, it's
more than just aesthetics and designer bags. It's a whole
vibe and a lifestyle movement that shows black women living
in ease, peace and abundance. I feel like that's me
right now. I just I'm just not broughtn at and
(09:47):
get your black, your black black luxury. Yes, we need
to see it. The people see it. You gotta think
about it. Kim Hatings solo trips. I don't take solo trips.
If I go on a trip, I have to go.
I'm not a solo Champagne cheers, okay, brunches, sipro listen,
(10:14):
we we have we have, we have shifts and Travis
on call. I feel like we're living that black girl luxury.
Mm hmmm. We deserve, I deserve and whatever capacity that is,
you know, whatever if it's a candle at dinner or
you splurgeon on something that you want, it is, it
(10:35):
is drawing that bath. I definitely love a solo trip.
That's it's therapeutic for me. So I'm my best self
after I tap in and do something that I love.
You know, I feel like we deserve and really just
everyone is in general self love and it's time. So
(10:55):
we it's good to be motivated too. I feel like,
you know, we need to see we need to see
excellence in all different realms, whatever that looks like. You know,
I love to see the girlies pop. They shit, wait,
I do you know live that yeah, tree and its
and enjoy. That's true. So the black women are saying,
(11:21):
I deserve softness, wealth, rest and beauty and I don't
have to hustle myself and took the brow to earn it.
It's also about representation. For years, luxury spaces were gate
kept and mostly shown through a white land. Now black
women are claiming that they're showing that we belong at
five star hotels wellness retreats, high fashion and luxury homes
(11:44):
too without the apology. But there's been some debate. Is
it empowering or is it pretty pressure on women to
look rich? Ooh, what do y'all think? Think? I feel
like it's very empowered. I mean, I think there's two
(12:06):
sides of it. I think it can be empowering. I
think it's beautiful that we get to see like black
women in that representation of living in luxury and living
a soft life. I think that's beautiful. We didn't get
to see that. And social media is a platform now
that we can like really look into people's lives and see,
you know, how they're living. So I think it's great.
(12:28):
But on the other side of it, I do think
it does put pressure on other women for us to
keep up, like keeping up with the Joneses, you know
what I mean, like trying to one up each other
and you know, just do what somebody else is doing.
And I think that it's easy to get caught up
(12:50):
in it because you know, of course everybody's showing like
their highlight reels on social media, but they're not showing,
you know, what they had to do to get it.
And some of these women, I feel like they're not
always doing positive things to get to what they're doing, Like,
let's be real about it, like some of these women are.
And I heard some stories the girls going to like
(13:10):
Dubai and you know what I'm saying, and they're not
showing whose boat they on. They not showing who's you know,
paying for everything? You know, Okay, so you know it's
two sided, like yes, we love it for them, get
it how you live. But you know, just know that
everything on social media isn't always what it seems. And
(13:34):
you know, you shouldn't put pressure on yourself to have
something that the next person has, you know. And also
I think it's important to romanticize whatever you have going on.
Like luxury for you might be something different. Luxury to
me is you know, being in my backyard being able
to just lay out there for you know, for hours
(13:55):
and then just enjoying nature. To me, that's luxury. You know,
living in Florida to me is a luxury because you know,
first of all, living in Florida is expensive, but we
have beautiful weather, we have beaches there, you know, So
it's not always about you know, material things or you know,
going places it's finding those little things at home that
(14:17):
you feel like our luxury and romanticizing those things. Because
once you start romanticizing and one and what other people get,
that's when I feel like it's not so much empowering anymore.
Now it's you know, it's something else. But I just
feel like the mindset of people who look at it
like daang, you know, or in an envious way, then
(14:39):
they need to change their mindset. I'm all about, you know,
us showing showing what we worked hard for, because everybody's
not blessed. Some people are not blessed to have it,
but to be able to experience. I feel like it
when I watched someone troubling somewhere that I hadn't been
in this beautiful it just give me motivation to work
harder if I want to go there. So I feel
(15:02):
like for me, it's just motivation. And I love to
see it because and I love to see it so
much that I'm actually showing my kids because it wasn't
show to us, so be able to experience it, to
be able to see it, to be able to see
more of us black women being able to travel abroad,
it's yeah, yeah, I appreciate it. I'm with you guys,
(15:28):
both of the whole empowering thing, but it does it
can get a little tricky just because it is Instagram.
It is an instant moment that you showcase. But at
the end of the day, people are creatives, people are influencers,
and it is motivational to where you're like, hey, you
should come travel and do this here, you should go
to this restaurant, or you should do this activity. It
(15:50):
is education at the palm of your hands if you're
able to afford it. And it is luxury. It is
a blessing living here in Miami. We get to have
the weather, the beach, these beautiful restaurants, and but it's expensive,
you know. And it's like I agree with you also
reil that you work hard, you get to play hard.
(16:11):
So it's very much given that we deserve, you know.
With this administration right now though, these prices going up
on everything, it's just it's getting ready to be a
tough time just with the basics for everyday people. So
luxury will change. I feel like in a little bit,
it's more like is it home cooked meals? Is it
(16:31):
you know, candle it dinners? It's gonna be an adjustment
period for sure, just because prices are going up with
a lot of things right now, so it could be
a little taxing on everybody emotionally economically, like just very much.
You know, it could be. It's gonna be tough, you know,
just really trying to adjust to all of this. So,
(16:52):
you know, I love to encourage. I love that we
are encouraging women and men just in families to really
see what else is out there. So kudos to y'all ladies. Yeah,
I love to see like the Black Travel later, do
you think luxury content? And I was sorry what you say,
(17:14):
ash Go, No, I was just saying, like the Black
travel creators, like the black girls I see, like going
all over different places and not like the typical places
that we see. I love following those pages like those
are one of my favorites to watch because it's like,
look at this black girl all the way over there
(17:35):
in no man's land. Okay, I'm like I love that.
I love seeing that, Yes too, definitely. Do you think
luxury content empowers black women to dream bigger? Or do it?
Does it track them trap them to unrealistic expectation? Well,
(17:56):
I think it's about dreaming bigger like you can see it.
If you can see it, you could do it. And
I feel like the more that we are showing, you know,
just content or you're showing like, hey, I did this,
it's safe, it's affordable. I did it this way. There's
alternates of doing things a certain way or solo, traveling, couples.
It's motivational a group, you know, you know, getting the
(18:18):
ladies together, they're like, you know, you see what we
made it out the group chat, those kind of things.
You know, it's definitely motivational, you know. So it's just
like I love to see it. I want us to
be to be able to see an example, especially somebody
that looks like me or like my children, like, hey,
you can attain to do this as well. A lot
(18:38):
of it is, you know, we compare ourselves to celebrities
and you know, all the entertainers and things like that.
But I think it's good when people can relate to
us in a certain way to where they're like, look,
you know, I can get there too, I can be
able to travel and do X, Y and Z because
they want to see it. You know, it's motivation. So yeah,
(19:01):
I think it has gotten more creative. I applauded. I
love it. It's a space for us everywhere. Yeah, I
definitely agree. Would you date a man who didn't fit
into your luxury lifestyle even if he brought you peace
and stability? Oh we kind of talked about this, actually, yeah,
(19:29):
we did tell me all thoughts really job with my
freer session, honestly. Okay, So our conversation we were talking
about compatibility and sorry my last compatibility and relationships and
you know, I'm all the way in Africa and you
know this is probably like my what's my second time
(19:52):
coming to Africa and the last what month and a half,
I've been on numerous trips and you know, people want to,
you know, like how is that like you you know,
feels at home with the kids. And so we were
talking about compatibility and Phil he is not like he's
not the guy who wants to get up and travel everywhere,
but he knows that I am, and so I feel like,
(20:16):
you know, it's not that. First of all, Phil is
very boogie, so when he does travel, he is all
about luxury. But if we're talking about you know, just
traveling as a luxury and you know that being my
thing that I love to do I don't think it's
a problem as long as you know your person understands
(20:36):
who you are. You know, as long as you don't
get into the relationship and you do a one eighty
flip on them, you know, like Phil knew who I
was when he met me. He knew I love to travel,
he knew I'm very spontaneous. I will get up and
go at the drop of a dime. So to me,
we are compatible even though we don't necessarily like the
(20:57):
same things. Not that he doesn't like to travel, but
but it's not a priority for him like it is
for me. You know, I think it as long as
you both know who each other are and your lives
fit together the way you know they should when you
become one, then I don't think it's a problem. But
if you know a requirement for you is that your
(21:18):
partner travels with you and enjoys the same luxuries then
as you, then yeah, of course I can see that
being an issue. So I think as long as you
just are upfront about you know what it is that
you enjoy, and if you need your partner to be
there and enjoying it with you, you know, you just
have to. It's all a conversation and knowing who you
are and knowing who your partner is. I agree one
(21:41):
hundred percent. I feel like what you see is what
you get. And obviously I'm a traveler too, So whoever
I end up with is going to know that that's
a non negotiable for me, whether it's traveling with my children,
whether it's traveling for myself for work, for anything like that,
and the same with that person too, Like I love
traveling with a meet, you know, that's a different kind
(22:03):
of trip in itself, but it's definitely about being compatible
one hundred percent, and also communication. But I'm not going
to change who I am. You know, it has to
be put in the budget. It needs to be put
in whatever the conversation is about what it is that
fulfills me, because this is what I'm bringing to the
table as a lexus. Whomever I'm with like match the
(22:25):
energy and I would love to be with a person
that wants to travel and wants to explore and see
what else is out there. So compatibility with luxury, all
of that goes hand to hand for sure, one hundred percent.
And to have that balance actually is a blessing for sure,
all Right, and that's what I was telling Ashley. I
(22:47):
feel like, if if mine didn't like the luxury travel,
as long as you're not on me or trying to
you know, boss me or tell take where I go
or you know how long that's, then you know we're fine.
But if you're you're starting to complain about me traveling
because you don't like to travel, and there's there's a
(23:08):
definitely an issue. Yeah, yeah, and I feel like it.
You know, you have to do whatever they think is
their luxury too. It's like it's also a compromise, you
know what I'm saying. So he'll go on my little
trips with me or whatever, and you know, I'll let
him stay home do what he wants, but he also
will let me go do my own things. So for me,
(23:30):
that's a luxury in my relationship to still be able
to go and do the things that I want to do,
you know, so absolutely, actually bless That's right, It's a blessing.
What it is? Okay, what's next? Do y'all think that
(23:54):
men respect women with standards or just call us high
maintenance when they can't afford us? Do I think the
ones who don't have it are calling us high maintenance.
The ones that don't have it always can play it
in a lot. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's it. It's just
(24:18):
plain like because I feel like, you know, a man
will definitely splurge or want to court or want to
you know, show off, or whatever the case may be.
So you know, you don't want anybody who's just very
much like, you know, this is too much or I
can't handle it, or they're gonna definitely call us high
(24:39):
maintenance for sure. I mean we've read it, we've seen it.
You know, it is what it is. But it comes
with the territory. If you like, I mean, if we
can go and have a good lunch and you know,
we have amazing lunches, that's just lunch, y'all for a
business meeting or just you know, traveling to go to
Turks to do business or show up for whatever the
(25:02):
case may be. Little things. I mean, it just comes
with the territory who they're you know, dealing with as well.
So of course we're gonna be called high maintenance or
bougie or whatever the case may be. But I love,
I love, I love an ocean view. If there's an
ocean wherever I'm traveling, to. So that's what I want
to do for myself, and I work hard enough to
(25:24):
make sure I'm gonna see the ocean if I'm right there,
you know, like that's a splurge for me or things
like that. So in fact, call me high maintenance what
it is. But I know exactly what I'm want, Okay,
I know that's great. Okay, we just don't want to
I don't need to stay. And they pay great. Not
(25:47):
saying they pay great. They just need to stay. They pick,
they do, they need to date your pay date, your
your pay range, whatever you want to spend. Don't don't
talk about it, which is just what's like a woman
bye by how you get paid. But don't don't get
(26:11):
up at the high maintenance gold digger. Just all those
words make me cringe. I'm just like, what do you? Yeah?
All right, So I got a game. It's called luxury
or a lie. Okay, look side luxury or lie? All right,
(26:40):
So y'all tell me is it luxury or a lie?
You can't call it luxury if it's being financed by
clarena or after pay. Clariner after pay is like layaway, right,
I think, seth, that's that's a lot. That's a lie. Yeah,
(27:06):
that's well no, no, no, let me take that back.
If it's luxury, it's luxury. No matter how you got it,
it's luxury. Maybe you wanted to you know, you had
something come up and you want you had to put
that on. What do you call after care after pay? Yeah, exactly?
(27:28):
Is it like lay away you put you pay on
it and then you get what claronye after pay on
the Chanel website and purchase. Yeah, it's a lie. That's
not luxury. I think. I think I feel like if
(27:50):
you gotta pay that on, it's it's like if you
know what, let's put it like this sense we're talking
about trouble like flights in hotels, luxury hotels. If you
put it on I okay, you put it like that, Okay,
then yes, that could still be considered luxury because them
flights expensive as hail I looked up in Paris flights
(28:11):
to go see neonce in June trying to tickets is
ten thousand dollars. I'm happy we have is that the
first fly? Yes? Girl, sign me up for the after
pack because what so you pay after you attend? I
(28:38):
don't know how I'm about to go sign up. I
might be there. It's like if they said it before,
it's like you're paying installments. You paying it was like,
but you don't get it until you pay it off.
So to me, by the time you pay it, whatever
the case may be, it's like credit no like kind
(28:59):
of you know, I I think you have. It's kind
of like, yeah, it's like a credit. It's like a
credit card without the credit. The car Beyonce need to
do her tickets on after pay because them motherfuckers was
high too. This whole situation is expensive, okay, all right,
(29:20):
next one. And like a lot of luxury every day.
You can't be a luxury black girl if you work
a nine to five a lot. That's a lie. That's
a lie. Who said that? And my question horrible act?
(29:41):
That is horrible. That's horrible. I was living a luxury
lifestyle working nine to five. Now work longer than nine
to five. Just amaintain yes, And in order to have
that nine to five, you gotta give vacation time. You
gotta have self time, you gotta get away, you gotta RelA,
you gotta you know, we were working really much, we
(30:03):
really overworking ourselves. We're working to live instead of living
to work. It's a difference, you know, it's not the same.
So you're working hard, take your take your time off,
all right. Naturally, having a roster of men who spoil
you equals main character energy. A roster that spoils you
(30:30):
give ladies. Y'all got a roster main character energy, though,
I mean, I am the main character. I would hope
that I would be, you know, to make there wearing
equal that mm hmmm. So basically the wing is paying
(30:54):
for everything, and yeah, you gotta rasta man spoiling you,
buying you everything, paying your rent, pay your car note,
taking you on trips, buying you bags. So that means
you are living in luxury and you're giving main character energy.
(31:17):
I didn't sear that that's what they said. I'm so,
I mean, I feel like I feel like that's that's
not luxury for me because I don't like to first,
I don't like to depend on a man, and that's temporary, Like,
why would you want a group of men paying for everything?
That's temporary? What happens when you get older? All those men,
(31:40):
you know, fade away. Now you experience you ain't you're
not experiencing that luxury lifestyle no more. Now it's hard
for you to really make money because you have been
so co dependent on these men taking care of you. Yes,
a temporary tax and they having a rockter. That's a
lot of work. It's a lot of work. You know,
(32:02):
it's just and then you know, obviously if they're giving something,
they want something to return, whether it's time, whether it's affection,
whatever the case may be. But like, I don't think
I would be accepting someone to like take over my
like my my my payments or whatever the case may be.
I don't trust like that. You know, I understand like
(32:24):
what Charilla is saying. I don't want to depend on that,
you know, so that wouldn't really be I mean, so
I guess would that be a lie? I mean, but
we know, we know people who do this. You know,
this is how they survive. I'm just not going to
depend on it. I don't want to becomes financially like
abusive all at that dependent. Yeah it's not next one
(32:53):
if he flies you out, but you're in spirit airlines.
Basic economy is that like, I mean, you getting fluid?
I had that happened. I didn't have that happened to No,
you did it not on the Spirit. I was in
Roman Noodles, girl, I got on the sphere. I was
in Roman Noodles. I had my little Coke, I had
(33:15):
my little Spirit package, my little Spirit started package. I'm
not gonna hold it. A big seat in the front,
the big t I'm gonna say, I didn't even have
maybe to have the big seat. I had a regular seat.
(33:36):
He love you, girl. I mean it's tough. I feel
like the men that are attracted to us assume it'll
be first class or business. But I feel like, at
the same time, I'm gonna go and pull up on
somebody that I like. You know, I'm gonna go pull
(33:57):
up on them, whether it's a train, car ride, whatever
the case may be. If I like you, I'm gonna
pull up on you. Yeah, if I can get there,
I'm cool with that because I mean, sometime flext question,
would you okay your man lived in there? It would
(34:17):
take a four and a half hour flight on Frontier airlines,
but there's no internet, no wild Fi, you can't you
can't stroll, and there's no first class seats. Definitely need
to be some kind of that that would be tough.
Not Frontier Spirit, not going across country. I wouldn't be
(34:39):
able to do it. I rather, honestly, you know that's
not true. I rather upgrade myself. No, no, that you
said a long flight. That's different. That's a long way
now a click flight to really but you said no,
it had no recline, There was no there was I
(34:59):
was economy, no internet, nothing. All the flights were booked
out and the only thing that was left was a
frontier flight. Okay, I'm not I would do it because
I'm I'm about that life. I'm gonna go I'm thugging
it out though, I'm gonna be thugging it out. But
what if he but what if there were other seats available?
(35:22):
But he purposely got you the economy? You know, does
that make a difference? Are you like looking at him
different now? Mm? Yeah, I'm just flight you know. Yeah,
(35:44):
I just say I always say this, don't introduce me
to something. Yeah, but I will call up on you,
you know, I will pull up all right, that's it
for our luxury or lie game. That was cute. That
(36:04):
was fun. I'm not gonna do that again. That was cute. Yeah,
they will all right. So our next topic is Michelle
Obama she's set in their record straight she's choosing herself
and not divorce. On the last episode of Work in Progress,
(36:27):
Michelle Obama finally addresses the growing rumors about her former
president Barack Obama heading four split, but instead of confirming
the gossip, she flips the script. This isn't about divorce,
It's about rediscovery. With her daughters grown and her White
House duties long behind her. Michelle shares that for the
first time, she's prioritizing herself. But why is a woman
(36:50):
choosing herself still such a radical concept? And why did
the public jump straight to divorce just because she wasn't
by baroque side? What do you think about that advertised
I mean they showed something where it was showing Barrock
walking into a some type of establishment with another woman Rock,
(37:17):
like like reselling. I think I didn't see that. I
missed that one. So is that where this kind of
sparked the whole thing or this was just in general?
That's what I'm thinking, because you know, I was scrolling
through the blocks and I've seen where they had a
video footage, So maybe that's where the saying that I
(37:40):
was focusing on my That's what I'm I'm thinking, yeah,
I hate, I really hate that she had to even
just say anything. I mean, we obviously don't know what's
going on behind closed doors. But at the same thing, again,
I hate that she had to say this, only because
(38:01):
she is doing what she wants to do. Right now,
we're talking about Michelle Obama, the former first Lady. In
my eyes, she's always the first Lady, and so is Barack.
So this is what she's doing. She's great with motivation,
she's she's a great mentor, she's we just look up
to her. So regardless of whatever's going on in her
personal life, I just think it's amazing that she is
(38:24):
doing what she wants to do. And I love seeing
her in this space of where we can see her personality,
like we I feel like she was muted low key
being in you know, the White House and being you know,
having to be the first Lady of the United States
of America. So now she can really we can see
her personality and it's really low key, just kind of
(38:45):
like disrespectful in a way that people are coming at
her like this because it's like, look, I don't have
to fit in this box that y'all want me to be.
In like I'm going to show up for my people.
I have my girls, I have my life, I have
my education, I have my job, I have my books,
I have my tours. She got things going on and
lot key with security and national like she gets security
(39:09):
forever and her girls are grown, So like, do you
to me? It's very much her urn. And I feel
like Barack is very much a you know, supportive husband
in that way of just like it's your term, Like
you sacrifice all these years for me. They met when
they were like he used to work for her, so
(39:30):
it's like, you know, it's your turn, babe, Like you
sacrifice for me, You sacrifice everything, your freedoms, just these
little things we take for granted. So now she has
the freedom of speech to really just you know, be herself,
and we're getting to see her personality and I like it.
So shout out to Michelle Obama. You know, I love
(39:53):
her a lot. You know, I think it's I say,
it actually time for her to focus on herself. Yeah.
I think it's definitely time for her to focus on herself.
That people shouldn't speculate like, oh, it's a divorce because
she chose to focus on herself I mean, you know,
she supported Barack while he was in office, and it
(40:14):
was all about Barack. Now you know, she had her
book came out, it did great. It's hard for her
to focus. I mean they've been together for years, for years,
so now it's hard for me to take a ride
in the front seat. Anically seen as a trouble in
the marriage because it's outside the norm. It's not normal,
(40:39):
but she's not normal. Like, let's be real and it's
twenty twenty five. Like things shifts. You know, There's gonna
be times in any relationship where you working right now,
I might not be. I might be following my passion
and you might not be right now, vice versa. It's
a growing process. I mean they have been together for
(41:00):
so many different periods, and I mean, I bet you
week one when they were starting to date, he was
like I bet you he was not like, hey, I'm
going to run for president one day, you know. So
it came with adjustment time. It came with them really
getting on this bandwagon together and really being it happened,
and so she low key, you know, put herself on
(41:23):
pause to really support her husband, which is what we do.
So this is the first time, you're seeing this man
that has been such put on a platform to be
very masculine and very much dominating, to be like, my
wife is gonna do what she's gonna do and shout
out to like, you know, even Joe Biden, for example,
his wife, Doctor Joe Biden, was still teaching. She was like,
(41:46):
I'm still gonna teach. I still got to go see
my students. I still want to go to teach at
the university. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm
gonna do. So I'm here for it. You know. It
definitely is a double standard whenever it comes like that.
But you know, Michelle Obama is a boss, so boss's
go and get it. What do y'all? Yeah? Yea, yeah.
(42:10):
I mean I think she is probably just being who
she's always been. I'm sure one of the main things
that attracted President Obama to her is who she is
as an individual. And like you said, Shira, I think
she probably was you know, or I don't know if
Alexis you might have said it that she was like muted,
(42:31):
you know, like she's been not in the background, but
she hasn't, you know, she was busy supporting Obama and
everything that he was doing. So now it's her time
to step out and do her own thing. And I
think they've shown us that they are a very supportive couple.
I don't I mean, even if there is a rumor,
(42:52):
I just don't see them divorcing. Like, I just don't
see that from them. They have been through something that
nobody could imagine, Like he lives the first black president,
you know what I mean. I just they would that
legacy is something special. So to have a divorce, I
just don't see her even entertaining that. She Like, I
(43:14):
feel like what she's doing is just gonna She's focusing
on herself, which she should absolutely do. And I think
in marriage is like you, there's like you said, Alex,
so there's times where you just focus on yourself and
there's something wrong with it. It's nothing. Doesn't mean there's
something wrong with your relationship. It's just a time for everything.
Some some something seem more attention and effort at different
(43:37):
periods in the relationship. But do you think that we
glorify the superwoman behavior in women but then punish them
when we say that they need a break. Hmm, that's tough.
That's who that was. That was a great question. By
(43:58):
the way, I always I always say, like, I don't
subscribe to that superwoman you know idea, you know what
I mean, Like I want to be great at everything
that I'm doing, but you know, I'm only human, I'm
not superhuman, and I don't want anybody to like hold
me to that standard, you know what I mean. I'm
(44:19):
doing the best I can. Sometimes, you know, I need
to take mental health breaks. Sometimes I need to, you know,
let Phil take the lead on parenthood because right now,
whatever I'm going through, you know, I need to focus
on something else. I don't know. But I don't subscribe
to that. I just feel like that's so that's added
pressure and weight on me that is not needed and
(44:41):
it's not necessary. So I think it's very healthy to
know when you need a break, because how can you
take care of everybody in a healthy way if you
don't take care of yourself, Like we all know that
you got to take care of yourself first. So I
don't subscribe to that superwoman. But I mean, I know though, personally,
(45:02):
people that I look up to, women that I know
that I absolutely I look at them. I'm like, damn,
y'all are really super women? Because y'all out here killing it,
you doing this, this and that. So like you know,
I'm saying that I glorify them, but I definitely give
them credit, you know, when credit is due, and I
can definitely see it in other women, like you know,
(45:22):
when they're just given there all one hundred percent. Every
time I see them, they are really just you know,
it's inspiring. You know, it inspires me. So not that
I glorify it, but I you know, I see it.
I don't or not something. Yeah, I support it, but
I don't think we should like push women to be that.
You know, Yeah, it can get real exhausting, you know,
(45:45):
especially when you a factor and children and so many
roles that we play that we are nurses sometimes we
are the vallet service, we're drivers, we're tutors, We're all
these different we wear many hats and so, like you know,
it does off like it could be like Superwoman or whatever,
but it definitely is a stigma of like you should
(46:05):
take care of yourself and write what you said, Ashley
to recognize, like you know what, I need a break
because it gets overwhelming. We run ourselves so thin, we
get unhealthy, we start snacking on bad things, and we
don't take care of our health, we missappointments or these
things because we're putting everybody before us. So I feel
like it should be more of a movement. And I
(46:26):
love this movement of like self love, take your time out,
talk to somebody, hang out with your friends, just to
have an outlet where you're just not working all the
time because people are working, you know, whatever their shift is,
and then turn around and have to work at home
and then you know, or whatever the case may be.
So it's just like it's good to have that balance
(46:48):
to really just like take the time and breathe and
relax and take care of yourself because without that then
everything falls apart, everything, you know, the household, all of that.
Y'all know I'm big on that. Yeah, are women still
expected to sacrifice personal freedom once they become wives and mothers?
(47:10):
And why hasn't that changed? I don't think you should
sacrifice you know, personal freedom, like Lex said, and you
know we're big on speaking on that. In order to
take to provide for your family or take care of
your family and your you know, your kids, your husband
and everything, you have to take care of yourself first.
(47:31):
So when you sacrifice that you start seeing a bad
pattern like your your behavior, you know, how how you move,
You start hating things because you're not taking care of
yourself physically and mentally. So yeah, I think I think
that women naturally sacrifice, you know, for their children, for
(47:52):
their husbands, for their families, because we're just nurtures and
you know, we want everything to be good and everybody
to you know, thrive and be comfortable. So you know,
when we start sacrificing too much, you know, to where
we lose ourselves, I think that's where it becomes a problem.
(48:14):
So I think there has to be you know, a
balance you could say, when it comes to it, you know,
but I think sacrificing like personal freedom though, is it
is a bit much, you know what I mean. I
know there's a lot of women who feel like once
(48:35):
they get into a relationship, you know, they got to
do whatever they may say, it can't go nowhere to like,
that's a lot to sacrifice. And in this day and age,
you know, there's a lot of women and relationships that
we can look up to that are thriving and they
don't have those specific demands. So I think it is changing.
(49:00):
It isn't our doing more for themselves? I think it
is changing too, especially just because you're like, this is
who I am and to find a partner that is
going to support you and you know, really be there
for you to like this is this is what I
need to do for myself and people need to. I
feel like we just have to do more personal days too,
(49:20):
where even if you are feeling good and you feel like,
you know what, I need a day just to really
you know, for myself, I'm feeling good right now, we
need encourage more of that and just those personal days
of just like you know, stepping back because it's a
lot you know, we live in a world of again instagratification,
showing things off and like it could be family traditions
(49:41):
of having you know, certain standards for your household. So
it's a lot of pressure that's outside of your space
and outside of your home. So you have to take
care of your mind and your heart first again because
everything else will fall apart. You know, That's just how
I feel. Yeah, that's true. Yeah mm hmm. Okay, ladies,
(50:03):
y'all got a letter to keep yourself first, choose yourself first,
take care of yourself so that everyone else can get
taken care of area, and a partner that sees you,
you know, just knows who you are and vice versa,
allow them to have that space too, because that needs
to be encouraged. And also like, you know, do something
(50:24):
for yourself, whatever that might be on both ends. Yeah,
Like get in my way, never out of my Name's
been like you one and the more one. So what
is gonna be? Baby squad? When you let me put
it down? I love that and Judge, welcome back that Easy,
are back with another episode of the Humble Baddies Podcast.
I'm your girl Ashley Nicole, and I'm surel Risotto and
(00:26):
I'm Alexis welch Stodamire and we are the Humble Baddy.
I'm a lady. Okay, what's going on everybody we over here? Well?
(00:48):
I just ask you were playing it for? Who is
who's getting married? It's a a well known Nigerian princess.
Her mom is was on house walks of Legos and
(01:08):
now she's the actor. It's her daughter, so we're going
to support her daughter while she embraced this new life
of marriage. Beautiful out here in Nigeria living our best
Nija queen lines right now and join it out here.
(01:29):
What you've been up to? Like? I had to send
off my oldest son to prom. He just asked his
date on Wednesday and he prom was on Friday, so
we had to get things together real quickly. Went to
the mall with him and just got him right and
sent him off. So that's two down. I have two left,
(01:52):
so I'm crossing them off the list. So that was
the dope thing. And then I was named Miami is
one of Miami's most stylish residents. So I'm one of
the cover I'm on the cover article in Miami Lifestyle magazine.
So I'm representing for the ladies, black women holding it down,
(02:15):
you know. So that was that was awesome to have
that acknowledgment and really just to be seen so celebrating
that a little bit. Yeah, congracts on that, thank you,
Thank you. Did they have the Fever party or something
like that? They they are getting ready to have one
(02:36):
next week, but I'll be unavailable to ten, so I
won't be able to go. But I think they only
it was only about maybe ten of us that got selected.
There were couples, and Forrella and I were the only
black folks holding it down, you know, for everybody in
Miami we got to represent. So I'm glad I was chosen.
So I was happy to happy to, you know, show
(02:57):
up and I'm prepping for thank you next month. Thank
crazy money on everything, So I'm right behind you. Legs. No,
it's different for the girls, cause it's like with Deuce.
I mean he was just like, yeah, I'm going to
(03:18):
prom on Friday. I'll get my text pressed and let's
go get some new shoes. That was it. I'm like,
this is I like people coming over? Yeah? I was like,
are people coming over? What we gonna do? Should we
should I host something? He's my, uh nah, We're just
gonna meet here and then we're gonna we're gonna go
somewhere else with a ray. I mean, it's a month,
(03:39):
and it's a month in advance. It's hair appointments, it's nails.
It's so much more maintenance. So the luck, the luck,
it's already been a headache we've been We ordered her
dress in January and it's just been on my house.
Have you seen like these posles and the whole the
(04:02):
prom over the top proms and like the car rentals
and just the trains and all these things. There's so
much that's going into it, and like the little events
like don't they are you gonna hold something to like
send her off? Like are you gonna do all of
that too? He said, anything she about to get a
drink herthy, I'm not hosting other than I'm tired to
(04:23):
spend This girl is so boogy. She for her birthday,
she took a flight, she went on vacation her and
her friends. She had a birthday overseas. Then she came back.
She wented to spend time in Miami. We got her yat.
She turned up on her yacht with her friends, had
the whole boat decorated. She is, it's too much. I'm
(04:43):
ready for her behind to go to college. It does it?
Does they feel if you ask you have boys? I
got boys? Thank God, I'm ready to splurge back on
myself now a little. Yeah, okay, yeah, the ladies is definitely,
(05:08):
you know, just it's just a lot more maintenance. And
speaking of ladies, y'all see the all female crew that
just went up to space and back. Yeah, yet scary though,
I don't know if I could do it. Well, y'all
ever go you would never go to Actually I watched
(05:29):
it live. I was watching it. See me, I've seen
them screaming. It was scary. I don't think I would
do that. I dropped out of airplanes and I did
everything else, But I don't know if I could do that.
Sign me up. I don't know. I don't know if
I need to do that, nill it. Some people were
(05:53):
unnecessary because I'm sure it costs a lot of money
to go there, you know what I mean? Well, I
mean yeah, I think they were saying this bit is
one hundred and fifty k per se or something like that,
so we're going to see this more often, I'm sure. Yeah,
(06:15):
Well cut us to those ladies. I saw Gail King.
She she was the only one looked a little scared,
you know, when they rang the bell get and knowing
everybody else looked like they were excited to go a
little scared. I would what if Jeff? It was why
(06:36):
it's enough? When it when I was watching what's Jeff
Jeff bezos fiance name Lauren? Lauren guys? I think that Chad. Yes,
she was like they were like, what if you know, basically,
if something would have happened. She was like, well, I
(06:57):
hope this would What if something tragic would have happened.
We're supposed to be getting married and it's not you know,
if something was to happen. But she was, she was happy,
she was excited. I was like, I could not do that,
Like that's just something because I don't know what could happen,
and I'm not in control of it. So past I
(07:18):
feel like my energy is more like anything can happen
walking outside your house or really inside your house. At
this point, you know, it's something that I think I
would do one so sign me on a I'm gonna
go do it, okay, girl, Well let us know or
you let that's ner in the future. I'm just curious.
(07:43):
I'm a little nerve when it comes to that kind
of stuff. You know. Yeah, I'd rather we do something
else with that money. I feel like there's so much
other things that we can do. I've watched the interview
with Katie Perry and she was talking about it, and
it just felt very like out of touch, just seemed
very unnecessary, very like, I don't know, it was just
(08:07):
given rich and out of touch. In my opinion, I
thought it was cool that we all like it was
tons of females. But it's funny. The shape of the
spaceship is hilarious to me. It looked like a giant
Penish look in did have you seen it? All these
(08:35):
ladies in there taking off and you're right, the giant, Yeah,
it's hilarious for them. Definitely go down in history. Yes, yes,
go to those ladies. Kudos to those ladies for going.
(08:55):
You know, I take my hat off to them. That's
something that I just could not do. I'm sorry, love
y'all though, Thank y'all for showing y'all experience live on TV.
And y'all are the humble babies that is show, Yes
they are. Let's get into it. The luxury black girl
TikTok okay, I'm here for it. I love anything luxury
(09:20):
dealing with black girls. What's that about? So basically, it's
more than just aesthetics and designer bags. It's a whole
vibe and a lifestyle movement that shows black women living
in ease, peace and abundance. I feel like that's me
right now. I just I'm just not broughtn at and
(09:47):
get your black, your black black luxury. Yes, we need
to see it. The people see it. You gotta think
about it. Kim Hatings solo trips. I don't take solo trips.
If I go on a trip, I have to go.
I'm not a solo Champagne cheers, okay, brunches, sipro listen,
(10:14):
we we have we have, we have shifts and Travis
on call. I feel like we're living that black girl luxury.
Mm hmmm. We deserve, I deserve and whatever capacity that is,
you know, whatever if it's a candle at dinner or
you splurgeon on something that you want, it is, it
(10:35):
is drawing that bath. I definitely love a solo trip.
That's it's therapeutic for me. So I'm my best self
after I tap in and do something that I love.
You know, I feel like we deserve and really just
everyone is in general self love and it's time. So
(10:55):
we it's good to be motivated too. I feel like,
you know, we need to see we need to see
excellence in all different realms, whatever that looks like. You know,
I love to see the girlies pop. They shit, wait,
I do you know live that yeah, tree and its
and enjoy. That's true. So the black women are saying,
(11:21):
I deserve softness, wealth, rest and beauty and I don't
have to hustle myself and took the brow to earn it.
It's also about representation. For years, luxury spaces were gate
kept and mostly shown through a white land. Now black
women are claiming that they're showing that we belong at
five star hotels wellness retreats, high fashion and luxury homes
(11:44):
too without the apology. But there's been some debate. Is
it empowering or is it pretty pressure on women to
look rich? Ooh, what do y'all think? Think? I feel
like it's very empowered. I mean, I think there's two
(12:06):
sides of it. I think it can be empowering. I
think it's beautiful that we get to see like black
women in that representation of living in luxury and living
a soft life. I think that's beautiful. We didn't get
to see that. And social media is a platform now
that we can like really look into people's lives and see,
you know, how they're living. So I think it's great.
(12:28):
But on the other side of it, I do think
it does put pressure on other women for us to
keep up, like keeping up with the Joneses, you know
what I mean, like trying to one up each other
and you know, just do what somebody else is doing.
And I think that it's easy to get caught up
(12:50):
in it because you know, of course everybody's showing like
their highlight reels on social media, but they're not showing,
you know, what they had to do to get it.
And some of these women, I feel like they're not
always doing positive things to get to what they're doing, Like,
let's be real about it, like some of these women are.
And I heard some stories the girls going to like
(13:10):
Dubai and you know what I'm saying, and they're not
showing whose boat they on. They not showing who's you know,
paying for everything? You know, Okay, so you know it's
two sided, like yes, we love it for them, get
it how you live. But you know, just know that
everything on social media isn't always what it seems. And
(13:34):
you know, you shouldn't put pressure on yourself to have
something that the next person has, you know. And also
I think it's important to romanticize whatever you have going on.
Like luxury for you might be something different. Luxury to
me is you know, being in my backyard being able
to just lay out there for you know, for hours
(13:55):
and then just enjoying nature. To me, that's luxury. You know,
living in Florida to me is a luxury because you know,
first of all, living in Florida is expensive, but we
have beautiful weather, we have beaches there, you know, So
it's not always about you know, material things or you know,
going places it's finding those little things at home that
(14:17):
you feel like our luxury and romanticizing those things. Because
once you start romanticizing and one and what other people get,
that's when I feel like it's not so much empowering anymore.
Now it's you know, it's something else. But I just
feel like the mindset of people who look at it
like daang, you know, or in an envious way, then
(14:39):
they need to change their mindset. I'm all about, you know,
us showing showing what we worked hard for, because everybody's
not blessed. Some people are not blessed to have it,
but to be able to experience. I feel like it
when I watched someone troubling somewhere that I hadn't been
in this beautiful it just give me motivation to work
harder if I want to go there. So I feel
(15:02):
like for me, it's just motivation. And I love to
see it because and I love to see it so
much that I'm actually showing my kids because it wasn't
show to us, so be able to experience it, to
be able to see it, to be able to see
more of us black women being able to travel abroad,
it's yeah, yeah, I appreciate it. I'm with you guys,
(15:28):
both of the whole empowering thing, but it does it
can get a little tricky just because it is Instagram.
It is an instant moment that you showcase. But at
the end of the day, people are creatives, people are influencers,
and it is motivational to where you're like, hey, you
should come travel and do this here, you should go
to this restaurant, or you should do this activity. It
(15:50):
is education at the palm of your hands if you're
able to afford it. And it is luxury. It is
a blessing living here in Miami. We get to have
the weather, the beach, these beautiful restaurants, and but it's expensive,
you know. And it's like I agree with you also
reil that you work hard, you get to play hard.
(16:11):
So it's very much given that we deserve, you know.
With this administration right now though, these prices going up
on everything, it's just it's getting ready to be a
tough time just with the basics for everyday people. So
luxury will change. I feel like in a little bit,
it's more like is it home cooked meals? Is it
(16:31):
you know, candle it dinners? It's gonna be an adjustment
period for sure, just because prices are going up with
a lot of things right now, so it could be
a little taxing on everybody emotionally economically, like just very much.
You know, it could be. It's gonna be tough, you know,
just really trying to adjust to all of this. So,
(16:52):
you know, I love to encourage. I love that we
are encouraging women and men just in families to really
see what else is out there. So kudos to y'all ladies. Yeah,
I love to see like the Black Travel later, do
you think luxury content? And I was sorry what you say,
(17:14):
ash Go, No, I was just saying, like the Black
travel creators, like the black girls I see, like going
all over different places and not like the typical places
that we see. I love following those pages like those
are one of my favorites to watch because it's like,
look at this black girl all the way over there
(17:35):
in no man's land. Okay, I'm like I love that.
I love seeing that, Yes too, definitely. Do you think
luxury content empowers black women to dream bigger? Or do it?
Does it track them trap them to unrealistic expectation? Well,
(17:56):
I think it's about dreaming bigger like you can see it.
If you can see it, you could do it. And
I feel like the more that we are showing, you know,
just content or you're showing like, hey, I did this,
it's safe, it's affordable. I did it this way. There's
alternates of doing things a certain way or solo, traveling, couples.
It's motivational a group, you know, you know, getting the
(18:18):
ladies together, they're like, you know, you see what we
made it out the group chat, those kind of things.
You know, it's definitely motivational, you know. So it's just
like I love to see it. I want us to
be to be able to see an example, especially somebody
that looks like me or like my children, like, hey,
you can attain to do this as well. A lot
(18:38):
of it is, you know, we compare ourselves to celebrities
and you know, all the entertainers and things like that.
But I think it's good when people can relate to
us in a certain way to where they're like, look,
you know, I can get there too, I can be
able to travel and do X, Y and Z because
they want to see it. You know, it's motivation. So yeah,
(19:01):
I think it has gotten more creative. I applauded. I
love it. It's a space for us everywhere. Yeah, I
definitely agree. Would you date a man who didn't fit
into your luxury lifestyle even if he brought you peace
and stability? Oh we kind of talked about this, actually, yeah,
(19:29):
we did tell me all thoughts really job with my
freer session, honestly. Okay, So our conversation we were talking
about compatibility and sorry my last compatibility and relationships and
you know, I'm all the way in Africa and you
know this is probably like my what's my second time
(19:52):
coming to Africa and the last what month and a half,
I've been on numerous trips and you know, people want to,
you know, like how is that like you you know,
feels at home with the kids. And so we were
talking about compatibility and Phil he is not like he's
not the guy who wants to get up and travel everywhere,
but he knows that I am, and so I feel like,
(20:16):
you know, it's not that. First of all, Phil is
very boogie, so when he does travel, he is all
about luxury. But if we're talking about you know, just
traveling as a luxury and you know that being my
thing that I love to do I don't think it's
a problem as long as you know your person understands
(20:36):
who you are. You know, as long as you don't
get into the relationship and you do a one eighty
flip on them, you know, like Phil knew who I
was when he met me. He knew I love to travel,
he knew I'm very spontaneous. I will get up and
go at the drop of a dime. So to me,
we are compatible even though we don't necessarily like the
(20:57):
same things. Not that he doesn't like to travel, but
but it's not a priority for him like it is
for me. You know, I think it as long as
you both know who each other are and your lives
fit together the way you know they should when you
become one, then I don't think it's a problem. But
if you know a requirement for you is that your
(21:18):
partner travels with you and enjoys the same luxuries then
as you, then yeah, of course I can see that
being an issue. So I think as long as you
just are upfront about you know what it is that
you enjoy, and if you need your partner to be
there and enjoying it with you, you know, you just
have to. It's all a conversation and knowing who you
are and knowing who your partner is. I agree one
(21:41):
hundred percent. I feel like what you see is what
you get. And obviously I'm a traveler too, So whoever
I end up with is going to know that that's
a non negotiable for me, whether it's traveling with my children,
whether it's traveling for myself for work, for anything like that,
and the same with that person too, Like I love
traveling with a meet, you know, that's a different kind
(22:03):
of trip in itself, but it's definitely about being compatible
one hundred percent, and also communication. But I'm not going
to change who I am. You know, it has to
be put in the budget. It needs to be put
in whatever the conversation is about what it is that
fulfills me, because this is what I'm bringing to the
table as a lexus. Whomever I'm with like match the
(22:25):
energy and I would love to be with a person
that wants to travel and wants to explore and see
what else is out there. So compatibility with luxury, all
of that goes hand to hand for sure, one hundred percent.
And to have that balance actually is a blessing for sure,
all Right, and that's what I was telling Ashley. I
(22:47):
feel like, if if mine didn't like the luxury travel,
as long as you're not on me or trying to
you know, boss me or tell take where I go
or you know how long that's, then you know we're fine.
But if you're you're starting to complain about me traveling
because you don't like to travel, and there's there's a
(23:08):
definitely an issue. Yeah, yeah, and I feel like it.
You know, you have to do whatever they think is
their luxury too. It's like it's also a compromise, you
know what I'm saying. So he'll go on my little
trips with me or whatever, and you know, I'll let
him stay home do what he wants, but he also
will let me go do my own things. So for me,
(23:30):
that's a luxury in my relationship to still be able
to go and do the things that I want to do,
you know, so absolutely, actually bless That's right, It's a blessing.
What it is? Okay, what's next? Do y'all think that
(23:54):
men respect women with standards or just call us high
maintenance when they can't afford us? Do I think the
ones who don't have it are calling us high maintenance.
The ones that don't have it always can play it
in a lot. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's it. It's just
(24:18):
plain like because I feel like, you know, a man
will definitely splurge or want to court or want to
you know, show off, or whatever the case may be.
So you know, you don't want anybody who's just very
much like, you know, this is too much or I
can't handle it, or they're gonna definitely call us high
(24:39):
maintenance for sure. I mean we've read it, we've seen it.
You know, it is what it is. But it comes
with the territory. If you like, I mean, if we
can go and have a good lunch and you know,
we have amazing lunches, that's just lunch, y'all for a
business meeting or just you know, traveling to go to
Turks to do business or show up for whatever the
(25:02):
case may be. Little things. I mean, it just comes
with the territory who they're you know, dealing with as well.
So of course we're gonna be called high maintenance or
bougie or whatever the case may be. But I love,
I love, I love an ocean view. If there's an
ocean wherever I'm traveling, to. So that's what I want
to do for myself, and I work hard enough to
(25:24):
make sure I'm gonna see the ocean if I'm right there,
you know, like that's a splurge for me or things
like that. So in fact, call me high maintenance what
it is. But I know exactly what I'm want, Okay,
I know that's great. Okay, we just don't want to
I don't need to stay. And they pay great. Not
(25:47):
saying they pay great. They just need to stay. They pick,
they do, they need to date your pay date, your
your pay range, whatever you want to spend. Don't don't
talk about it, which is just what's like a woman
bye by how you get paid. But don't don't get
(26:11):
up at the high maintenance gold digger. Just all those
words make me cringe. I'm just like, what do you? Yeah?
All right, So I got a game. It's called luxury
or a lie. Okay, look side luxury or lie? All right,
(26:40):
So y'all tell me is it luxury or a lie?
You can't call it luxury if it's being financed by
clarena or after pay. Clariner after pay is like layaway, right,
I think, seth, that's that's a lot. That's a lie. Yeah,
(27:06):
that's well no, no, no, let me take that back.
If it's luxury, it's luxury. No matter how you got it,
it's luxury. Maybe you wanted to you know, you had
something come up and you want you had to put
that on. What do you call after care after pay? Yeah, exactly?
(27:28):
Is it like lay away you put you pay on
it and then you get what claronye after pay on
the Chanel website and purchase. Yeah, it's a lie. That's
not luxury. I think. I think I feel like if
(27:50):
you gotta pay that on, it's it's like if you
know what, let's put it like this sense we're talking
about trouble like flights in hotels, luxury hotels. If you
put it on I okay, you put it like that, Okay,
then yes, that could still be considered luxury because them
flights expensive as hail I looked up in Paris flights
(28:11):
to go see neonce in June trying to tickets is
ten thousand dollars. I'm happy we have is that the
first fly? Yes? Girl, sign me up for the after
pack because what so you pay after you attend? I
(28:38):
don't know how I'm about to go sign up. I
might be there. It's like if they said it before,
it's like you're paying installments. You paying it was like,
but you don't get it until you pay it off.
So to me, by the time you pay it, whatever
the case may be, it's like credit no like kind
(28:59):
of you know, I I think you have. It's kind
of like, yeah, it's like a credit. It's like a
credit card without the credit. The car Beyonce need to
do her tickets on after pay because them motherfuckers was
high too. This whole situation is expensive, okay, all right,
(29:20):
next one. And like a lot of luxury every day.
You can't be a luxury black girl if you work
a nine to five a lot. That's a lie. That's
a lie. Who said that? And my question horrible act?
(29:41):
That is horrible. That's horrible. I was living a luxury
lifestyle working nine to five. Now work longer than nine
to five. Just amaintain yes, And in order to have
that nine to five, you gotta give vacation time. You
gotta have self time, you gotta get away, you gotta RelA,
you gotta you know, we were working really much, we
(30:03):
really overworking ourselves. We're working to live instead of living
to work. It's a difference, you know, it's not the same.
So you're working hard, take your take your time off,
all right. Naturally, having a roster of men who spoil
you equals main character energy. A roster that spoils you
(30:30):
give ladies. Y'all got a roster main character energy, though,
I mean, I am the main character. I would hope
that I would be, you know, to make there wearing
equal that mm hmmm. So basically the wing is paying
(30:54):
for everything, and yeah, you gotta rasta man spoiling you,
buying you everything, paying your rent, pay your car note,
taking you on trips, buying you bags. So that means
you are living in luxury and you're giving main character energy.
(31:17):
I didn't sear that that's what they said. I'm so,
I mean, I feel like I feel like that's that's
not luxury for me because I don't like to first,
I don't like to depend on a man, and that's temporary, Like,
why would you want a group of men paying for everything?
That's temporary? What happens when you get older? All those men,
(31:40):
you know, fade away. Now you experience you ain't you're
not experiencing that luxury lifestyle no more. Now it's hard
for you to really make money because you have been
so co dependent on these men taking care of you. Yes,
a temporary tax and they having a rockter. That's a
lot of work. It's a lot of work. You know,
(32:02):
it's just and then you know, obviously if they're giving something,
they want something to return, whether it's time, whether it's affection,
whatever the case may be. But like, I don't think
I would be accepting someone to like take over my
like my my my payments or whatever the case may be.
I don't trust like that. You know, I understand like
(32:24):
what Charilla is saying. I don't want to depend on that,
you know, so that wouldn't really be I mean, so
I guess would that be a lie? I mean, but
we know, we know people who do this. You know,
this is how they survive. I'm just not going to
depend on it. I don't want to becomes financially like
abusive all at that dependent. Yeah it's not next one
(32:53):
if he flies you out, but you're in spirit airlines.
Basic economy is that like, I mean, you getting fluid?
I had that happened. I didn't have that happened to No,
you did it not on the Spirit. I was in
Roman Noodles, girl, I got on the sphere. I was
in Roman Noodles. I had my little Coke, I had
(33:15):
my little Spirit package, my little Spirit started package. I'm
not gonna hold it. A big seat in the front,
the big t I'm gonna say, I didn't even have
maybe to have the big seat. I had a regular seat.
(33:36):
He love you, girl. I mean it's tough. I feel
like the men that are attracted to us assume it'll
be first class or business. But I feel like, at
the same time, I'm gonna go and pull up on
somebody that I like. You know, I'm gonna go pull
(33:57):
up on them, whether it's a train, car ride, whatever
the case may be. If I like you, I'm gonna
pull up on you. Yeah, if I can get there,
I'm cool with that because I mean, sometime flext question,
would you okay your man lived in there? It would
(34:17):
take a four and a half hour flight on Frontier airlines,
but there's no internet, no wild Fi, you can't you
can't stroll, and there's no first class seats. Definitely need
to be some kind of that that would be tough.
Not Frontier Spirit, not going across country. I wouldn't be
(34:39):
able to do it. I rather, honestly, you know that's
not true. I rather upgrade myself. No, no, that you
said a long flight. That's different. That's a long way
now a click flight to really but you said no,
it had no recline, There was no there was I
(34:59):
was economy, no internet, nothing. All the flights were booked
out and the only thing that was left was a
frontier flight. Okay, I'm not I would do it because
I'm I'm about that life. I'm gonna go I'm thugging
it out though, I'm gonna be thugging it out. But
what if he but what if there were other seats available?
(35:22):
But he purposely got you the economy? You know, does
that make a difference? Are you like looking at him
different now? Mm? Yeah, I'm just flight you know. Yeah,
(35:44):
I just say I always say this, don't introduce me
to something. Yeah, but I will call up on you,
you know, I will pull up all right, that's it
for our luxury or lie game. That was cute. That
(36:04):
was fun. I'm not gonna do that again. That was cute. Yeah,
they will all right. So our next topic is Michelle
Obama she's set in their record straight she's choosing herself
and not divorce. On the last episode of Work in Progress,
(36:27):
Michelle Obama finally addresses the growing rumors about her former
president Barack Obama heading four split, but instead of confirming
the gossip, she flips the script. This isn't about divorce,
It's about rediscovery. With her daughters grown and her White
House duties long behind her. Michelle shares that for the
first time, she's prioritizing herself. But why is a woman
(36:50):
choosing herself still such a radical concept? And why did
the public jump straight to divorce just because she wasn't
by baroque side? What do you think about that advertised
I mean they showed something where it was showing Barrock
walking into a some type of establishment with another woman Rock,
(37:17):
like like reselling. I think I didn't see that. I
missed that one. So is that where this kind of
sparked the whole thing or this was just in general?
That's what I'm thinking, because you know, I was scrolling
through the blocks and I've seen where they had a
video footage, So maybe that's where the saying that I
(37:40):
was focusing on my That's what I'm I'm thinking, yeah,
I hate, I really hate that she had to even
just say anything. I mean, we obviously don't know what's
going on behind closed doors. But at the same thing, again,
I hate that she had to say this, only because
(38:01):
she is doing what she wants to do. Right now,
we're talking about Michelle Obama, the former first Lady. In
my eyes, she's always the first Lady, and so is Barack.
So this is what she's doing. She's great with motivation,
she's she's a great mentor, she's we just look up
to her. So regardless of whatever's going on in her
personal life, I just think it's amazing that she is
(38:24):
doing what she wants to do. And I love seeing
her in this space of where we can see her personality,
like we I feel like she was muted low key
being in you know, the White House and being you know,
having to be the first Lady of the United States
of America. So now she can really we can see
her personality and it's really low key, just kind of
(38:45):
like disrespectful in a way that people are coming at
her like this because it's like, look, I don't have
to fit in this box that y'all want me to be.
In like I'm going to show up for my people.
I have my girls, I have my life, I have
my education, I have my job, I have my books,
I have my tours. She got things going on and
lot key with security and national like she gets security
(39:09):
forever and her girls are grown, So like, do you
to me? It's very much her urn. And I feel
like Barack is very much a you know, supportive husband
in that way of just like it's your term, Like
you sacrifice all these years for me. They met when
they were like he used to work for her, so
(39:30):
it's like, you know, it's your turn, babe, Like you
sacrifice for me, You sacrifice everything, your freedoms, just these
little things we take for granted. So now she has
the freedom of speech to really just you know, be herself,
and we're getting to see her personality and I like it.
So shout out to Michelle Obama. You know, I love
(39:53):
her a lot. You know, I think it's I say,
it actually time for her to focus on herself. Yeah.
I think it's definitely time for her to focus on herself.
That people shouldn't speculate like, oh, it's a divorce because
she chose to focus on herself I mean, you know,
she supported Barack while he was in office, and it
(40:14):
was all about Barack. Now you know, she had her
book came out, it did great. It's hard for her
to focus. I mean they've been together for years, for years,
so now it's hard for me to take a ride
in the front seat. Anically seen as a trouble in
the marriage because it's outside the norm. It's not normal,
(40:39):
but she's not normal. Like, let's be real and it's
twenty twenty five. Like things shifts. You know, There's gonna
be times in any relationship where you working right now,
I might not be. I might be following my passion
and you might not be right now, vice versa. It's
a growing process. I mean they have been together for
(41:00):
so many different periods, and I mean, I bet you
week one when they were starting to date, he was
like I bet you he was not like, hey, I'm
going to run for president one day, you know. So
it came with adjustment time. It came with them really
getting on this bandwagon together and really being it happened,
and so she low key, you know, put herself on
(41:23):
pause to really support her husband, which is what we do.
So this is the first time, you're seeing this man
that has been such put on a platform to be
very masculine and very much dominating, to be like, my
wife is gonna do what she's gonna do and shout
out to like, you know, even Joe Biden, for example,
his wife, Doctor Joe Biden, was still teaching. She was like,
(41:46):
I'm still gonna teach. I still got to go see
my students. I still want to go to teach at
the university. So I'm going to keep doing what I'm
gonna do. So I'm here for it. You know. It
definitely is a double standard whenever it comes like that.
But you know, Michelle Obama is a boss, so boss's
go and get it. What do y'all? Yeah? Yea, yeah.
(42:10):
I mean I think she is probably just being who
she's always been. I'm sure one of the main things
that attracted President Obama to her is who she is
as an individual. And like you said, Shira, I think
she probably was you know, or I don't know if
Alexis you might have said it that she was like muted,
(42:31):
you know, like she's been not in the background, but
she hasn't, you know, she was busy supporting Obama and
everything that he was doing. So now it's her time
to step out and do her own thing. And I
think they've shown us that they are a very supportive couple.
I don't I mean, even if there is a rumor,
(42:52):
I just don't see them divorcing. Like, I just don't
see that from them. They have been through something that
nobody could imagine, Like he lives the first black president,
you know what I mean. I just they would that
legacy is something special. So to have a divorce, I
just don't see her even entertaining that. She Like, I
(43:14):
feel like what she's doing is just gonna She's focusing
on herself, which she should absolutely do. And I think
in marriage is like you, there's like you said, Alex,
so there's times where you just focus on yourself and
there's something wrong with it. It's nothing. Doesn't mean there's
something wrong with your relationship. It's just a time for everything.
Some some something seem more attention and effort at different
(43:37):
periods in the relationship. But do you think that we
glorify the superwoman behavior in women but then punish them
when we say that they need a break. Hmm, that's tough.
That's who that was. That was a great question. By
(43:58):
the way, I always I always say, like, I don't
subscribe to that superwoman you know idea, you know what
I mean, Like I want to be great at everything
that I'm doing, but you know, I'm only human, I'm
not superhuman, and I don't want anybody to like hold
me to that standard, you know what I mean. I'm
(44:19):
doing the best I can. Sometimes, you know, I need
to take mental health breaks. Sometimes I need to, you know,
let Phil take the lead on parenthood because right now,
whatever I'm going through, you know, I need to focus
on something else. I don't know. But I don't subscribe
to that. I just feel like that's so that's added
pressure and weight on me that is not needed and
(44:41):
it's not necessary. So I think it's very healthy to
know when you need a break, because how can you
take care of everybody in a healthy way if you
don't take care of yourself, Like we all know that
you got to take care of yourself first. So I
don't subscribe to that superwoman. But I mean, I know though, personally,
(45:02):
people that I look up to, women that I know
that I absolutely I look at them. I'm like, damn,
y'all are really super women? Because y'all out here killing it,
you doing this, this and that. So like you know,
I'm saying that I glorify them, but I definitely give
them credit, you know, when credit is due, and I
can definitely see it in other women, like you know,
(45:22):
when they're just given there all one hundred percent. Every
time I see them, they are really just you know,
it's inspiring. You know, it inspires me. So not that
I glorify it, but I you know, I see it.
I don't or not something. Yeah, I support it, but
I don't think we should like push women to be that.
You know, Yeah, it can get real exhausting, you know,
(45:45):
especially when you a factor and children and so many
roles that we play that we are nurses sometimes we
are the vallet service, we're drivers, we're tutors, We're all
these different we wear many hats and so, like you know,
it does off like it could be like Superwoman or whatever,
but it definitely is a stigma of like you should
(46:05):
take care of yourself and write what you said, Ashley
to recognize, like you know what, I need a break
because it gets overwhelming. We run ourselves so thin, we
get unhealthy, we start snacking on bad things, and we
don't take care of our health, we missappointments or these
things because we're putting everybody before us. So I feel
like it should be more of a movement. And I
(46:26):
love this movement of like self love, take your time out,
talk to somebody, hang out with your friends, just to
have an outlet where you're just not working all the
time because people are working, you know, whatever their shift is,
and then turn around and have to work at home
and then you know, or whatever the case may be.
So it's just like it's good to have that balance
(46:48):
to really just like take the time and breathe and
relax and take care of yourself because without that then
everything falls apart, everything, you know, the household, all of that.
Y'all know I'm big on that. Yeah, are women still
expected to sacrifice personal freedom once they become wives and mothers?
(47:10):
And why hasn't that changed? I don't think you should
sacrifice you know, personal freedom, like Lex said, and you
know we're big on speaking on that. In order to
take to provide for your family or take care of
your family and your you know, your kids, your husband
and everything, you have to take care of yourself first.
(47:31):
So when you sacrifice that you start seeing a bad
pattern like your your behavior, you know, how how you move,
You start hating things because you're not taking care of
yourself physically and mentally. So yeah, I think I think
that women naturally sacrifice, you know, for their children, for
(47:52):
their husbands, for their families, because we're just nurtures and
you know, we want everything to be good and everybody
to you know, thrive and be comfortable. So you know,
when we start sacrificing too much, you know, to where
we lose ourselves, I think that's where it becomes a problem.
(48:14):
So I think there has to be you know, a
balance you could say, when it comes to it, you know,
but I think sacrificing like personal freedom though, is it
is a bit much, you know what I mean. I
know there's a lot of women who feel like once
(48:35):
they get into a relationship, you know, they got to
do whatever they may say, it can't go nowhere to like,
that's a lot to sacrifice. And in this day and age,
you know, there's a lot of women and relationships that
we can look up to that are thriving and they
don't have those specific demands. So I think it is changing.
(49:00):
It isn't our doing more for themselves? I think it
is changing too, especially just because you're like, this is
who I am and to find a partner that is
going to support you and you know, really be there
for you to like this is this is what I
need to do for myself and people need to. I
feel like we just have to do more personal days too,
(49:20):
where even if you are feeling good and you feel like,
you know what, I need a day just to really
you know, for myself, I'm feeling good right now, we
need encourage more of that and just those personal days
of just like you know, stepping back because it's a
lot you know, we live in a world of again instagratification,
showing things off and like it could be family traditions
(49:41):
of having you know, certain standards for your household. So
it's a lot of pressure that's outside of your space
and outside of your home. So you have to take
care of your mind and your heart first again because
everything else will fall apart. You know, That's just how
I feel. Yeah, that's true. Yeah mm hmm. Okay, ladies,
(50:03):
y'all got a letter to keep yourself first, choose yourself first,
take care of yourself so that everyone else can get
taken care of area, and a partner that sees you,
you know, just knows who you are and vice versa,
allow them to have that space too, because that needs
to be encouraged. And also like, you know, do something
(50:24):
for yourself, whatever that might be on both ends. Yeah,
Hosts And Creators
Ashley Wheeler
Alexis Stoudemire
Sharelle Rosado
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!