July 11, 2025 • 48 mins
“You start second-guessing everything—your looks, your choices, your value… all because of a number.”
In this unfiltered episode of Brolapse, I sit down with Apollo Fates—content creator, Club Inferno Dungeon performer, and lowkey goonface icon—for a conversation that hits harder than a double punch. We unpack the reality of being a fisting performer in an oversaturated market, where having a huge hole and a loyal fanbase still isn’t enough to pay the bills.
Apollo opens up about:
His first introduction to fisting and how it shaped his kink identity
Growing up gay in a hostile home, and how that delayed his self-expression
Why he’d ditch social media altogether if it weren’t tied to survival
The pressure of follower counts and the illusion of online value
Burnout, bots, and the line between creation and collapse
His viral goonface and how it became both a brand and a buffer
The emotional weight of working hard and still feeling invisible
This episode isn’t just about sex. It’s about self-worth, visibility, and the cost of chasing clout in a world that treats bodies like brands. If you’ve ever measured your value by a follower count—or felt invisible despite giving everything—this one’s for you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Brolaps, the fisting podcast that goes deep explore
my life, views and raw, unfiltered conversations with
the creators that are redefiningkink connection in the fisting
community. Hey guys, welcome back to
another episode of Brolaps and Ihave a guest on the show today
that I'm really excited to talk to Apollo Faiths, who I've been
sort of circling for I Feel hot minute.
We've never have we ever met in real life.
(00:22):
No, we have. We were supposed to be in the
exact same place so many different times.
We were like, both to like, go on certain trips or like be at
certain events together and thenjust something happens and then
things fall apart. But like, yeah, like we've
circled each other constantly. I feel this best when we were
supposed, I've heard of this concept of the content houses
(00:43):
for a long time and I've been like, wow, this sounds like
debauchery and amazing and superfun.
And so I was finally invited to 1, and I think you were supposed
to be at that. House, Yeah.
Yeah. I went.
I understand what was going on with you at the time.
There was there was 2 events. Sorry my memory is so shit.
So there was 1 and like I couldn't go and then the second
(01:04):
one the house got the event got cancelled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was super bummed and so
yeah, we had two opportunities to meet each other and I fucked
up one and then the other one I got ripped out from under me.
So I'm actually are you going tofisfest next week?
No, I have other it's my best friend's birthday so I'm going
to be skipping that one this time.
OK, I'm actually I'm finally going so.
(01:24):
I'm going to stab you with a fork.
You know, it's passive aggressive.
You know, I'm going to, I'm going to hopefully go to the one
in October too. Are you going in October?
I might, it depends. I might, I might be booked for
Rose Bowl, which is going on kind of at the same time, so.
They're such why do they do that?
I don't, I don't know. The girls can't play nice.
They really can't. And I guess, you know, that's,
that's, I mean, that's the nature of competition, I guess.
(01:47):
But yeah. I'll.
I'll always be loyal to Fisfest.That's where I got my kind of my
start. So I'm going to check them out
again. It'll be right around my
birthday so. I love it.
Let's get started just sort of at the beginning, and it's the
same question that I pretty muchask everybody that comes on.
How did you get started with fisting and what Drew?
You to it. So initially when I was
(02:07):
introduced to fisting, I was in a throuple and still love those
two. They're close friends of mine,
but we were, we were fucking. And it was like, after
everything is said and done and they're like, Hey, pull that bag
down from the closet, We've got to put this away.
And so inside that little bag, it was like I was putting with a
Lube inside the bag was like a pup toy.
And they introduced me to pup play on that night.
(02:28):
And then I was really, really, really into it.
So I got so hooked. And then they started trying to
show me more stuff. Ernie.
She was like, do you think you'dbe in a fisting?
And I was like, what's that? And then he showed me and I
remember my reaction was, what the fuck?
Why would anybody do that to themselves?
Oh my God. Fast forward a couple of years
later and here I am getting my ass destroyed.
(02:50):
But initially I had no interest in doing any fisting at all.
It wasn't until I was competing for the Mr. LA Pup competition
the first time around did my first actual like spark of
interest occur. I was, I was heading out to get
some air. It was like really hot in the
church that we were doing this all in.
And this leather guy like comes in from the outside as I'm
(03:14):
trying to go out. And so he blocks the doorway.
And it's like one of those moments where like the lights
hitting just perfect. There's like birds chirping in
the background, the music from the insides playing it.
It's it's all just like a perfect scene in a movie.
And and he was like, and he looks me dead in the eye and he
goes, I'm rooting for you, puppy.
And my placement flooded sploosh.
(03:35):
And so I was like, fuck, who is this guy?
And he was in full leather. And like, I'm a sucker for
leather. Like if you have full formals,
like I find this so hot. Sure.
And so I like went to go talk tohim and we started talking more
that day. And then he was like, well, he's
like, what are you into? And at the time I was just like
puppy playing normal fucking like whatever.
I was still a baby. And he's like, oh, I'm like
(03:57):
super into fisting. And it's kind of one of the
biggest things I do. So are you can you get fisted?
And I was like. Maybe.
But I'll, I mean, like I would love to try.
And he goes, you can't. He told me something that I tell
people all the time and now I finally understand.
It's like you can't just will yourself to get fisted.
Some people can. And fuck you if you can do it.
First of all, if you just decideone day I'm going to take a
(04:21):
fist, La La, la, la, la. And then it just goes straight
up in there like first of all. I mean, the space that's not at
all that happened to me. My first time was sort of like
that. It was like, I really want to
try fisting. I'm going to go to this daddy's
house that says he likes fistingand I got fisted so.
Wow, it took me, it took me overa year to like finally get it
(04:44):
all the way. And like, I started with like
small toys, baby baby baby putt plugs and then like slowly and
surely worked my way up bigger and bigger toys over months and
eventually stuck my own hand in my ass and it was all she wrote.
Yeah, nice. That's super hot.
I mean, I love hearing the origin stories.
I love, I just love hearing how people got into it and it
always, everybody's story is so different that there's always,
(05:06):
but then there's what the commonthread is that did you kind of
when you got it in for the firsttime, did you want it out
immediately and then want it back in right away?
Yeah. Kind of like, that's definitely
how it felt. It kind of felt the same way as
like when I first started havingsex, like I got fucked for the
first time and it hurts so bad, but at the same time felt so
good. And so like, you know, it's that
catch 22. Like I want it but no I want it
(05:27):
but no daddy I love. It exactly letting yourself like
go and like relax X enough to todo it so.
Yeah, for sure. I just think it's the, I think
it's like God's gift to fucking gay men.
It's like it's like we're just like super lucky to have this
thing and it's like so. And when people darn into it,
I'm like, that's fine. More for me.
Yeah, for sure. I do kind of feel sad when a guy
(05:48):
like that. I'm really into says he's not
into fisting. We're like that, won't try.
And I'm like, OK, I respect yourchoice.
Yeah, I respect it, but I don't agree with it.
So whatever you're you're missing out.
So really what I was really looking forward to talking to
you about is something that I'vekind of been wrestling with
myself about that you kind of verbalized on online.
You opened up about feeling unsupported despite having such
(06:11):
a big fan base because your fan base is freaking huge.
You've got two or three times asmany followers because I have,
you're all over the Internet. I see your stuff constantly, but
you're, I guess we're feeling unsupported by by your fan base.
What inspired you to share that publicly?
I won't know if you guys want tosee more feet if you guys don't
tell me you want to see feet. Like if you're gonna like I want
to do public play. But I don't even know if that
would respond well with like my fan base.
(06:32):
Like there's just a lot I don't know.
There's a lot of what ifs. And I feel like when I ask
directly to the fan base, like Iget like, like very little
response. Maybe like 1020 total and it
goes nowhere from there. And that kind of just makes me
feel bad because like I want, I see numbers dipping and I see
figures changing. And as much as I want to like
(06:54):
just chalk it up to like, you know, the economy and like
what's happening in the world right now, which is total shit.
But it's also a bit of like people are going to leave for
their own reasons. And sometimes if like they're
leaving for other reasons, like I, I really want to know.
And it's kind of hard to like touch bases with people on that
subject because they just don't want to talk about it.
It's a really weird feeling to know that like a bunch of people
(07:17):
watch you and a bunch of people say they're huge fans of you,
but then when you see like everything from the back end of
it all, like it just doesn't make any sense.
No, I get that. And my favorite is when people
are like, Oh my God, I love yourvideos on xhamster and I don't
fucking post on xhamster, you dumb bitch.
I get so mad because I'm like, you're watching pirated, stolen
copies of my stuff and so you'renot supporting.
(07:39):
You're not a fan fan if you're not or if I get a guy, I had a
guy recently that texted me and told me that he doesn't like
that I vape during my prolapse episodes and I'm like, OK, so
like 1% of people watch prolapse.
Like almost everybody listens toit.
So I wanted to be like, so are you one of the, the like percent
of people that pay for my prolapse videos?
(08:00):
Because if you are, then I valid, you know, your, your
opinion on my vaping is valid. But if you're just not and
you're listening or just watching the teasers and I don't
want to hear it. I don't want to hear that you
don't like that I'm vaping during the show or whatever.
It's like, so it's like people have an opinion when I don't.
I hate it when people have an opinion when they're not
actually supporting. Yeah, it's very hard because
I've actually got like after I posted that post yesterday,
(08:22):
people. Are doing feedback on it.
I did. I got some actual I got a lot of
feedback and then but what a lotof people didn't see on the
outs, like in the DMS and stuff was just people basically
grilling me for being doing exactly what I do.
Like they don't like OK, so likea couple people were like, your
captions are too long. I'm like, OK, I'm a talkative
(08:42):
person and I want to me, I like to gas up my Co my my Co stars
because I have a good time and Iwant that to be portrayed like I
could just go what, like everybody else.
OK, you'll never like I I think part of doing porn and doing
things in the fisting industry is finding ways, whether small
(09:04):
or big, to make yourself unique and stand out.
And I definitely feel like that this is something I do that most
people don't is like, yeah, it'sit's a bit of a blurb.
Like if you take the time to read it, then thank you.
If not, like, I understand, but at the same time, don't grill me
and saying I should change literally everything I do that
makes me unique. Like, what do you want to see
(09:24):
then? Like it?
You've got your gooner face down.
It's not even like some OK, so really kind.
My best friend, I told my best friend that I was interviewing
you and he's like, ask him aboutthe face that he makes because
it's so hot. And so I was going to figure out
a way to work that in there. But I think that to me, that
separates you. That's a big thing that
separates you, but it's it's good.
Go ahead and say what you're going to say no.
No, no, that's it's so true. Like honestly, I think right now
(09:47):
that's what keeps me afloat morethan anything.
I think that right now is what'skeeping me relevant in the
market, if that makes any sense,Because when I goon, it's
different than when you see other people good in.
There are a lot of people out there that when they go and it's
very like contrived, it's very like they do it on purpose.
And whilst there's no shame in that, like I'm not like I'm not
(10:08):
yuck in anybody's Yum. I'm not telling anybody that
they're wrong for doing whateverthey're doing.
Me personally, I can never recreate those faces on a whim.
I just get like, if you asked meto do right now, I'm like.
Yeah, exactly. Totally.
That's not it. That's not it.
So no, I get that it's some people, people ask, you know,
(10:30):
people sing on the spot or do something like that on the spot.
It's like, I don't know, I can'tjust do it on this, do it on,
you know, do whatever on the spot.
It's probably, you know, it's the same thing.
It's like those are there's an authentic natural reaction.
And that's what's so hot in pornis when things are real and
they're not fake and contrived and they're not staged or
performed. It's like an authentic reaction
like that's that's hot to me. And so that I I know there's a
(10:54):
couple of videos of yours that are like a viral that are on
every tube site and stuff where it's like you're you, it's it's
your it's hot. It's great.
I love yeah, I don't really I I don't make when I get fisted
really good. I just a lot of bro talk.
It's a lot of the only thing that comes out of my mouth is
like, yeah, bro and stupid shit like that.
But you know, if that's your, ifthat's what's keeping you
afloat, like perhaps to you. Like, that's amazing.
(11:15):
Yeah. I'm like really happy about it
because it's the one thing that I do that I feel like not a lot
of people can recreate because I've seen some people like they
goon out naturally too when they're getting fisted.
But I don't see people do it or take it to the level like I do.
Like what you're seeing on my face when things are happening
is how my brain is like working.Like if you see me spaced out
(11:37):
and gone, like there's no, thereare no thoughts up there at that
moment. Like I'm not thinking anything.
I'm like 100% just there, like, and then I'll snap to and then
you'll see everything like you'll see my entire body really
react again. And then I tend to like close up
every now and then. But it's, it's those moments
like you, what you're seeing on my face is what how my brain is
reacting to what's happening. That's really hot.
(11:58):
I think that's super hot. I love loss of this is going to
sound maybe a little weird, but I'm super turned on by loss of
body function control due to butt stuff.
And so somebody's pissing themselves.
There's somebody's tongue is hanging out, their eyes are in
the back of their head. They can't control their body
movements like because of the pleasure they're receiving from
their butt hole. I think that's super hot, so.
Yeah, it's, it's definitely whatkeeps me doing fisting.
(12:20):
Like it's something that I, I'm pretty much folks like it's
going to be for me for the rest of my life as as long as I can,
you know, like I do my best to like moderation and like, try to
like, keep myself from, you know, like going too hard too
fast and injuring myself. I would love to get to your
level someday, but you know, I'ma gaper, not a prolapser, which
(12:41):
sets, but like that is that is my class.
You know, choose your fighter. Yes, I'm the Gaper class.
You know what happened to me though, right?
I mean, I lost my yeah, I don't have, that's the kind of the
scary thing for me that I'm battling right now is that I
lost the thing that I think makes made me unique or special.
And so it's I don't have my prolapse anymore.
I don't have it like I used to. And so it's much smaller and
(13:03):
it's much more a rosebud now than it was before.
So it's a little bit weird trying to figure out where I fit
now when there's people that arelike, I can still do, I can
still get fisted. I guess it'll take some depth
with punching, whatever. But it's my prolapse is pretty
much gone. And so it's it's weird.
It feels like a limb got cut offbecause it's it's a lost.
Did you watch Agatha all along? Yeah, kind of a.
(13:23):
Little bit did you see the end or Jenny.
Jenny Kale gets her powers back.Yeah.
And she's just like, she's like,you know, she's so mad because
the thing that she thought made her special was gone.
And then when she gets it back, she's just like, like, that's
how I felt I would feel when I got my reconnection, when when I
get my reconnection surgery. And hopefully because I don't
know if it'll come back completely or not.
So we'll see what happens. But what are you?
(13:46):
Praying for you. I know Cross, I'm crossing my
fingers because it's like I missit, but it's also I'm grateful
for what I've got left. Yeah.
Do you think people underestimate how expensive and
emotionally taxing it is to create high quality content on
the Internet? Maybe this is This is why a
(14:08):
visual the visual element is so important to this show, I know.
If you, if you guys are just listening to this, I basically
just put my eyes straight to thecamera and blinked so crazy like
yes, I do think this. People.
Think that it is so fucking easyand they think it's not a job
bitch, I would love for you to come over here douche your
(14:28):
asshole for somebody for like anhour and a half and then have to
sit there and wait for them to fix all the fucking cameras, The
lights. You know you got to drive to
wherever you're going once you're and it's not even done
once you're over like done and over with once it's done, you
got to get it edited you got to post it.
You got to figure out where it'sgoing.
People use so many different systems and like Google Drive.
(14:48):
Then you, you have a Dropbox andyou have all these other
different like locations where people send stuff.
And so like things get lost and people stop communicating so
quickly that like sometimes things can just really get lost
in the shuffle. And you're sitting there like,
fuck, like I have to put something out.
People want to see something like if I'm not keeping up with
what everybody else is doing, I become irrelevant.
(15:09):
And I get it. I don't post every single day
like some of these creators do. And most of my stuff comes out
up on the weekends. You have a schedule.
Yes, I've only recently started doing the schedule.
I'm I have ADHD and I am a procrastinator.
So things get like I leave things to the last second pretty
frequently. It is like one of a strong flaws
(15:31):
of mine that I can appreciate. Yeah, it is part of who I am and
I get it. But like, you know, we're trying
to fix it as time goes on, but Ipost, I, I'm trying to do it
more where like Friday, post a trailer, the first trailer and
then I want to do Saturday whereI dropped the video, but then
like also put like another little teaser for people.
So make it like kind of like, oh, this is coming up soon where
(15:54):
it's not as like hot or risque, but like you can tell like it's
going to get there. And then like on Saturday, you
see that trailer where it does get hot and frisky and then the
video's out. So you can like choose to go
watch it. There's like a science to it.
I feel there. Really is and what, what I think
crazy thing is, I think what I have to do is a lot and, and I
do do a lot, but I have gone to other creators homes and I've
(16:17):
seen the amount of work and effort that goes into to this.
Without naming names, like I know a guy who like has a
calendar on his wall where everysingle day has something on it.
Every single day has something on it.
His computer is so organized andhas so much shit ready to go.
He is so like well built, but hehas no time for anything else.
No time. He does nothing else.
(16:38):
I, I try to hang out with him outside of like doing porn and
just he's like, Oh well, I'm editing or I have to do this or
like I'm going to go film. I'm like, OK, you know, like it
really does take so much effort,like on the physical side, like
in the material world. But then and there's also like
the mental side, right? Like it can be so taxing and so
draining to like feel like none of this is going anywhere,
(16:59):
right? Like you do it day in and day
out and like you do it for so long.
And then you, you're faced with that never ending like
realization that this is not going to be something that is
like you age, you eventually ageout.
People age out all the time. And unless you're one of those
lucky few that don't, like kudosto you.
I hope to be one of those people.
But ten years, baby. Yeah, but like some people and
(17:20):
some people just drop off. Like it's really a consistency
game. And then you start like
wondering, like you start reaching out to more people
because you have to be consistent.
And then like a lot of people dodge your messages and then you
start like second guessing yourself or like, do I look?
Good. That's the problem I think with
there's going to be a big, because there's so many content
creators, right? And there's there's going to be
(17:41):
a generation of people whose self worth is tied to their
sexuality being able to be sold on the Internet.
And because that's a really scary thing.
I'm wrestling with that because I've been doing it for now 18
years where I've been selling myass on the Internet for 18
years. And it's, I'm seeing a decline
in the amount of subscribers that I have and the amount of
(18:02):
engagement that I get. And it's a weird feeling because
my, it's my success is tied to my body is tied to my ass is
tied to, you know, that's a weird place to be in when it
starts declining because it's what am I doing wrong?
What's wrong, What's wrong with me?
It's, it's not my job performance, it's what's wrong
with me. And so, yeah, it's, and I don't,
(18:23):
I think I'm experiencing that maybe a little bit earlier than
a lot of these other people are going to be experiencing it
because I've been doing this forso long.
But I feel eventually there's going to be this moment where
people realize that they've soldthemselves to the algorithm,
they've sold themselves to the, to the Internet.
And how do you get yourself backfrom that in the end?
Yeah, I would argue that like we're seeing that generation
now. Yeah, so.
(18:44):
For sure, because I do definitely like fiscal numbers
when they pop up for me, I do like get a little hit of
endorphin, sure, like just like anybody does during payday.
But when I see those numbers drop, like you're right, it is
very much like I don't look at it as like, well, how could I
made my work better? Like I self internalize it and
it just, it feels like it feels wrong and like I know for a fact
(19:06):
that it's just me being harsh onmyself, right?
And so like I don't always post about like when I'm feeling
these kinds of things because most of the time I like to deal
with it on my own. And most of the time I do deal
with it on my own. I kind of just get over it and
just like move forward. But there are moments where like
like yesterday for sure, you seelike a dramatic drop and a
change. It boils over.
You need to. Get some of that out.
(19:27):
Yeah, I definitely feel like that's so true.
Yeah. And it humanizes us.
It makes people realize that we're not just content machines,
that we're, you know, there's a person underneath it that
actually has real feelings and actually gets, you know, that
people in the end of the day, I feel are going to, they're going
to steal content. They're going to pirate content.
They're going to do whatever they want to get off, get the
rocks off. But it's hopefully there's
enough people out there that arestill willing to kind of support
(19:50):
and see us as Yeah. And realize that I'm doing this
for my health. I'm not doing it.
You know, I love making content.I love doing fisting and I love
showing people what I'm doing with fisting.
But it's also, it is how I put aroof over my head.
And if you're going to pirate our pirate content, you're
literally taking food out of my mouth.
You know what I mean? There's people that they, they
don't realize that that stealingcontent or stealing or, you
(20:12):
know, or not supporting is literally taking food out of our
mouths. It's making us unable to pay a
bill. It's, you know, that type of
thing. It's crazy.
Yeah, and The thing is, I think that I think people should know
is like porn stars don't make like a crazy, crazy amount of
money. Like I make.
I make enough to sustain myself and pay my bills, but not enough
to eat. So like a lot of the time I'm
(20:34):
broke as fuck because I just paid all my bills and I'm
sitting at home like having cereal for three meals because I
don't have any money. I can't bro, I got.
So much time. You know, people are constantly
like saying, talking shit onlineabout like how it's not a job,
how they'll grow up, go do something with your life, all
this other shit. And it's like, well, if how
(20:55):
would you even know that this ishappening to me?
If you're not sitting there likedevouring what I'm doing right,
like you were, you're personallybenefiting from me doing this.
And because you got off in the five seconds it took you to get
off, now I don't matter. Yeah.
And and that's how it goes. Right.
Like, that's just the realization of that.
Like, that's always how it's going to be.
(21:16):
You know, people's minds change the second they come.
I know I'd be a different personafter I blow a load.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
I feel like logic. I feel like I succumb to logic
so hard. Exactly.
I'm going to be watching something, it's super dark and
gross and I'm done. I finally come and I'm just like
like shut my laptop and what thefuck Ryan, what's wrong with
you? I've done that.
I've done that quite a few times.
(21:37):
That is for sure. It's true.
I think one of the things you talked about that I would love
to like just harp on a little bit was humanizing yourself.
I do a lot to kind of make sure people know that like yes, I'm a
slut, but like I am a person too.
Dude. I did my Monday videos all the
time where like I would like talk to people and just like
tell people how what I thought and how I thought that they were
(21:58):
all wonderful and how everybody should have a good day and that
everyone should be happy and like all this stuff.
I genuinely feel these things like I'm not like just saying it
just to say it, but at the same time like, you know, you look at
the engagement on things like that and like the engagement was
like little to none. Maybe like 20 likes and three
comments and things like that. Like really took a toll on me
because I was like, well, I guess people don't care to see
(22:19):
the human side. And then like when people tell
me like, oh, you know, like makeit not make your captions not
super long and like go back to doing amateur stuff.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
Like that's just me. Like, I want to put those things
out there because it's, it's a good sign of faith, not only to
the people who have been following me for so long, but
also to the people who film withme, you know?
(22:41):
Like, I want people that I film with to know that, like, I
genuinely enjoyed it, that it was a good time and that they
know that I'm going to do my best to make it work for both of
us, you know? Do that in 300 characters.
You can't or the fucking one that everybody be using like die
or what TA like that's what everybody.
Is doing OK. I'm going to pull my grandpa off
(23:01):
history card right now. What is that true guy?
Because I keep. I think it's it's Indian for
fuck. OK, because I keep saying that
and I'm just like, did I miss the memo?
Like I'm like. No, it, it happened so slowly
and then like at one point it just like blew up and I saw it
everywhere and I, you know, I ended up just looking up what
the word meant. I'm like fuck, I haven't been
(23:23):
that like inspired or motivated yet.
I'm just like what do I keep saying this word for?
I don't understand. Yeah, I'm not like, I don't feel
like I'm super plugged in. I'm not really like, if it it
wasn't for being like doing pornand stuff like that, I probably
wouldn't have social media. I'm just not like a social media
person, yeah. I mean, like I've had social,
I've been, I've been doing, I'veliterally been selling my ass on
the Internet since I was a teenager.
(23:43):
So it's, I don't know how else to be.
I had a live Journal and a Myspace when I was in like when
I was like 1415 and then, and then as soon as I got 18, I got
a contract with Raging Stallion.So it was, I had a blog and I've
always been a social media presence or had a social media
presence and so I don't really know how else to be.
It's weird. Yeah, I think for me, like I was
(24:06):
around and had those things kindof growing up, but like I lived
in a household where like because I was gay, I was not
afforded the same. Like, how old are you?
I'm 29. 29 OK, I'm a little bit old.
Yeah, I was like, my, my my mom wasn't, like, the greatest
person and she, like, did a lot of really nasty things just
because I was gay. I was not allowed to, like, use
(24:28):
the computer the same way that my siblings were.
I didn't even have a room. I was forced to sleep in the
living room because my mom thought I was.
Yeah. She thought I was going to rape
my brothers. My God.
And then they stole all my shit.They talked to all the master
shit they wanted. They like, would hit me all the
time, like my mom, my brothers. And like, I couldn't do anything
back because if I did, then I'd get in trouble.
It was, there was just a lot of things that happened.
(24:49):
Like, it's just like the tip of the iceberg.
No bro, I mean like I can relate.
I mean I had my bedroom door taken off when I was a kid.
It was a lot of like door on my bedroom and I was like, this is
fucked up. Yeah, teenage boy.
Like, give me my door back, I mean.
I feel you're, it's just like I had like I had my space and my,
oh, mine's was so tricked out. Like I had music playing in the
background at every, every little thing you could customize
it with. I had, I was so into it, but I
(25:11):
never got to like really use it Or like when Facebook took off,
like I never really got to use it because even though I had an
account, like my mom was so hyper vigilant on whatever I,
whatever I was doing that like Ididn't have the chance.
To be a part of social media. And so like now that and I'm
older and I'm doing like contentcreation, like sure, like that's
where I'm at with the social like social medias aspects, but
(25:33):
otherwise I'm just like in the moment or doing whatever the
hell it is that. I'm doing, like you mentioned,
the oversaturation of fisting content.
What changed in the landscape that made you feel that fisting
is less niche than it is now? I guess.
Because it's not anymore, it's just the plain fact of the
matter. So I've noticed a small trend of
like kinks, like people picking up kinks and then blowing them
(25:55):
up and then it dying down and then another kink doing that.
So like when I first got in a pup play, it was taboo still.
And everyone was like, Oh my God, you're a pup.
Like, what the fuck? And then like 2 to three years
after I became a pup, like it blew up mainstream wise.
And so like all these guys became pups and like the people
who wouldn't talk to me because I was a pup, we're now pups.
And I'm just like, first of all,I'm just, I'm sitting there
(26:17):
like, like, OK, pop off, sis. Like you do you.
Everybody has the right to change their mind.
Like I'm not gonna talk shit to you, but I will remember.
Yeah. And so that's definitely how I
felt with like pop play. And then like a couple years
down the road, you know, I, I started getting into fisting and
it was still niche until like what 2022 is when I feel like it
(26:39):
like really took off. I started seeing people left and
right joining and being fisters again.
Some guys are like joining and like it's starting to be get to
the point where like the muscle boys are taking over again.
Yeah. Here we go again like y'all can
have fucking anything else get the fuck out of here.
Like enjoy it you know enjoy getting fisted.
(26:59):
Everybody should enjoy the kinksthat they should enjoy.
But like let's be real you can literally go do anything with
the type of body you have and nobody's going to bat an eye and
they will just throw money at you.
It's been scientifically. Proven.
I know I see guys that literallyhave only fans that they're just
taking showers or eating food and I'm I have to push out 2
feet of my colon to get a fucking notice around here.
It's crazy. It's so true.
(27:20):
So like it's the oversaturation of just people in general.
And like one thing that most people don't know about fisting
is like there's like a class system.
You say like Jr. like JRPG style, right?
Like, you know, you have your tank support and stuff like
that. Yeah, you have you have your the
people could only rosebud your gapers and then you have the
(27:41):
prolapsers, the depths. So you have like, yeah, you have
depth and then you have with Queens and then like they're
guys who do punches, right? You usually fall under a few
categories but not all of them. Like I wish I could be like deaf
like IA goal is to get to my shoulder at somebody's shoulder
at some point, but like the most.
It's, it's actually, there's a medical, there's a scientific
(28:02):
kind of thing behind it. There's a certain people are
generally had, they generally have a certain set of muscles
that allow them to do one of thethree prolapse, gape or width,
prolapse, prolapse or gape depthor width.
And so there's actually, I had adoctor, a surgeon, my surgeon on
the show a couple episodes ago and he's explained the whole
thing. And so there's actually, yeah.
So there's a there's a set of muscles that everybody is
(28:23):
usually kind of, it's rare that somebody's got all three.
So there is, it's a class system, but there's also kind of
the hierarchy. Now it feels in in fisting that
there's, you know, you're kind of it just feels very, I don't
want to say cliquish, but because I don't like the word
click, but it does feel there's a hierarchy to fisting now where
there wasn't one in the. Past, yeah, the girls like to
(28:44):
huddle up with each other when they know what they can do.
Like honestly, I feel like a lotof the depth guys to stay
together and like with guys alsolike it's just really weird how
it all works out because I'm definitely more like I'm a
gaping with puncher. Like those are my things.
Those are like my 3 categories. And I feel like like thank you,
it's all I get and I'm mad aboutit.
(29:04):
But like I very rarely feel likeI get approach for anybody being
like I want to like fist you to my elbow.
And I'm like, I would love more guys to show up to like and and
talk to me about wanting to do that stuff, but it's just kind
of not what happens. Do people ask you what you're
into? Like, like, Because for me it's
the first question that I asked when I fisted anybody.
What kind of stuff do you like? What do you want?
To do. That's the first question I
asked you, I think. I think it's a good tall tale
(29:26):
sign of a good Fisher. Sometimes.
Sometimes people ask, sometimes sometimes they don't.
And that's fine. You know, like sometimes the
guys who don't ask already know how to read the body, so it's
fine. And then other times I'll be
like, oh, can't go that far. Yeah, like what are you doing
like. My body physically won't let
you. Yeah, I used, I used.
(29:47):
I hate that when they they jump in or they jump in, assuming
that they just that what they'veseen on the Internet is what I
can do immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
definitely have this video out with muscle Mittens, which is
he's had bad. I love him.
He and I constantly get messageslike, oh, I want to fist you
like how he fisted you in that video.
And I'm like, OK, girl. But what you don't know is like
(30:07):
the hour it took for me to like relax.
Cuz like, I was having a bad dayand I wasn't like fully staying
ready. And so I was like getting really
stuck in my head and I was unable to like, let go enough to
like, fully feel it. And bless his heart, he really
like, he really did a good job of like making me feel safe and
(30:27):
grounded. And so we were able to get,
yeah, we were able to get into it.
And it turned out to be a really, really hot session.
And that was our first one ever.And so like, we were basically
like, he's like my yeah. Like when we ever we go
anywhere, like I always stay next to him.
Like, I always want to like, like be around him.
He always asks if I need anything.
He brings any poppers or like, Lube.
(30:49):
Like he's like, did you forget your Lube?
But I'll be like, yeah, he's like, do you want me to mix you
some? Thank you.
You know, like he takes care of me and it's not like a, it's not
like a weird like like financiallike what thing?
No, like no, he like genuinely just wants to make sure I have
everything I need to be like a good slut.
Yeah, I used to have one of those, but she broke up with me,
so no, Yeah, it's OK. So now I just got to do
everything myself, which is fine.
(31:10):
It's still annoying. It's like I got to rely on
myself. So I have to be a big big white
pants on and remember how to do everything myself pants.
Pants. Exactly make big girl panties on
Exactly what would meaningful support from fans actually look
like for you outside of compliments, likes and stuff
like that? What do you think?
Honestly, I want like, I want toknow what's working and what's
(31:31):
not working. Simply put, that would help me
the most. You don't have to be an ass
about it. Like if something's not working,
but like send me a private message.
Be like, hey, I really like thisor hey, like can you do more of
this feedback? I need feedback.
I don't get any. And so it's like pulling teeth
to get a little tiny compliment out of you people.
But no, like the compliments arefine.
(31:53):
Like I get like that's OK, but compliments don't do anything.
Like they're very nice and I really do enjoy it, but they
don't help me get better. They don't help me understand
what you want any better. Engage with me that that's
really what it comes down to. Like you can, I can compliment a
wall and it would, it would do the exact same thing as
complimenting me in person. Like, you're a pretty wall,
(32:15):
right? Oh, thanks.
The walls, there's no, there's like it's like, yes, thank you
so much. I really love that.
But there's like little substance, substance there,
right? It's like, it's like one of the
things like as a content creatorand as a porn star, like who
does get noticed? I hate shallow conversations.
Like I want people would have come to talk to me, but nobody
ever really talks to me about anything substantial.
I. Love every content?
(32:36):
Period, period, period. How are you doing?
Fine. Yeah, exactly.
It's a. Little frustrating.
I'm bad with closed ended answers because if you leave it
open-ended, I can continue that conversation forever.
Yeah, I will say it's I don't. I get so excited when somebody
leaves a comment on one of my videos on my website because it
makes me feel that video was in some way engaging enough that
(32:58):
they felt that they compelled tosay something about it.
Yeah, so that's how I, I kinda agree.
That's how I feel about it on Just for Fans too.
Yeah, I know that that somethingsomething about that video was
special enough that it caused somebody to actually be
compelled to to give feedback. And so I get really excited when
I when I get a comment on on a video because even but you don't
have noticed too. This is sort of sounds sort of
silly is that I could create a really amazing piece of content
(33:20):
that I think is I film it from three angles, light it
perfectly. Everything was great.
And then it won't get much engagement or feedback from from
the fans. But then I, I take a 32nd clip
of me sitting on the toilet, my butt hole out and he gets 2000
likes and I'm like, what is I don't have to try.
I'm trying to make you guys something really cool and really
special or something cool. And nobody seems to appreciate
(33:40):
it. But they appreciate like the
32nd clip of me on all fours in my playroom just because I was
bored and pushed out my butt hole and farted at the camera
for 30 seconds. And they're just like, yes, yes.
I don't know if that's what thatsays about people really need
like TikTok sized bytes of, of content.
Like if the attention span is soshort now, because we've been
conditioned to like reels and stuff like that, that are so
(34:02):
quick and so fast that that's the type of content that people
want to consume now rather than long form, well thought out
content. It's, it's a little, that's one
thing that I've noticed that's alittle bit strange.
I agree. And The funny thing about all of
that is that you're not wrong inany sense.
Like I feel like sometimes I'll put go out of my way to really
make something special and like you said, it gets like very
(34:24):
little engagement. I think the reason is, is that
people like seeing other people in their nastiest, like raunchy
moments. And because because we're
trying, that's why it's not getting any engagement.
It's like when people are nonchalantly doing something
that's natural to them that people are like, ah, yes, yes,
show thy butt hole. And you know, here we are.
(34:46):
Exactly. I made a 32nd video the other
day of me on the floor in my playroom, just like 4 is pushing
out sucking air. And I was like, oh, this is kind
of hot and dirty and gross. Maybe I'll throw up on the
Internet. And of course that's what that's
that's what gets a ton of likes.But I post a really well framed,
well lit, cool video of me getting arm fucked and people
are like, meh, it's disappointing.
It's a little disappointing. It doesn't.
It makes me feel like I don't. I shouldn't be applying this
(35:07):
much effort, but. I mean, honestly though, yeah,
like it definitely comes down tothat because it definitely does
make it feel like what you're doing is is not worth it
anymore. And and it gets even more
exacerbated when you think of like the people who are like,
oh, well, if you don't want to do this, then go get a job.
No, first of all, this is a job.And second of all, fuck you.
(35:28):
Yeah, that's crazy. But like, yeah.
And it's like, even worse because like, if you want, like,
let's say this, let's say they do love that 32nd video that you
posted out on a whim. Now what?
Where you go from there? There's nothing more to that.
It's just that, right? And so people are like, oh,
what's coming up? What's next with it?
And you're just like that. That was it.
Like now you're begging me for more content.
(35:49):
But when I put out that content,you don't even bother to like
actually watch it, so. People are confusing the The
customer in this situation is not always right.
They're not. I think the customer I I will
argue to death and I don't care.I will die on this hill by
myself. The customer is almost never
right in almost any industry. It just is what it is.
(36:10):
There are a lot of people out there who are really bad
consumers. Yeah.
And they had. Really.
There are some good ones too. There are some good.
True, but like true and and I doagree to that, but the in the
McGrath bank grand majority of people make interesting consumer
decisions and then they reflect their decisions onto the person
that is now giving them said service or object.
(36:32):
And it's just, it's just so mindboggling to.
Me and it's frustrating. Well, Speaking of porn being
work, seeing a forming work, you've worked with Club Inferno
and produced your own content. So what do you like better?
Like, do you like that kind of structured format of studio porn
or do you like doing it in your own way?
So I love making my own porn more so than I like working for
(36:55):
studios. Some studios allow for an extra
Ave. of advertisement as well aslike getting my name out there
to like a different like audience, which I'm not about.
And I do like breaking with studios because I I I like
studio work. I just, I think it's fun, but
when you're actually there, it'salmost never fun.
I don't miss the days of studio porn.
I don't. Miss them.
(37:16):
Some people don't understand like sometimes you're there for
12 hours and like you have to bedoucheed the entire time or like
if you're the top you have to stay hard the entire time.
Like there is a lot of things that can go wrong.
I have horror stories, girl, horror stories with some of the
things that have happened on setthat you would never know.
You would never know. You see that finished product
(37:37):
and you're just like, damn, there was this one set I was on
that one of my coast. He could not like, first of all,
he was waiting for his section of the scene like it was three
of us and then two other guys and they were after our scene
and our scene got started like 3hours late and then it trailed
until the like wee hours of the night, like early evening.
And then they had to go. But then like one of the guys
(37:59):
had to reduce because he had been waiting so long.
And like he said, like the shower was super, super.
The shower was super fucking cold.
Like that water? Yeah, it's impossible to clean
that. Yeah.
And then he like, then the draingot clogged.
Yeah. And he said that like they were
on the floor. And so he was having to get
fisted on the floor. Like the mat was really thin
(38:20):
that he was on. So like it like he felt it in
his spine and like, he's just having so much going.
Like, I feel so bad for him. Like every single time I think
of this story, like I think of my time on that day and I know I
was like created a little frustrated and like also just
kind of like whatevers. But if I was him, he took that
(38:40):
with grace. Yeah, I know.
I remember my old, some of my old experiences when I was
working for Raging Stallion wereless than ideal.
And that's why I just love doing.
I I don't even, I mean just content.
I don't like the word content somuch.
I just like making fisting video.
I like to record myself getting fisted by my friends, by people
that I like getting fisted by inpositions that make me feel
comfortable because I feel like so much better than like, does
(39:02):
anybody actually 69 fists in real life for fun?
Because I don't know, I just feel, I mean, like, that's to me
that's so uncomfortable. It's so awkward, but it looks
great on camera. But does anybody actually do
that for fun? I've actually I can tell you
that I've never once seen it at any play party I've ever been
to. The most I have seen though is
like a guy is getting fisted in a sling and the guy who's
(39:23):
fisting him is getting fisted while he's standing.
Up. Yeah, because that's kind of
comfortable. Like it is your legs are already
spread your whole. Exactly.
Exactly. So I was going to ask you strike
me as somebody who loves making this kind of content.
The videos, like even in the post that you made about, you
know, being kind of frustrated about the circumstances right
now, the situation right now, itwas obvious that you really love
(39:44):
doing this, that you like makingvideos that you don't want to
have to go back to kind of traditional 9 to 5 jobs.
Like no, no, I don't feel like any of us really want to have to
go back to that lifestyle. So what fuels your passion for
making this kind of content? So there's like a few things,
right? One one is just my general love
for sex in general. Like I I really do like sex a
lot and I've come to like fisting is like a huge
(40:05):
identifier for me. Like it is just big into who I
am as a person. So like I douche daily, like
anytime I shower I do, and that's just because like I want
to be ready or like I sometimes I sometimes bake itches that I
can't scratch. And so like, I'll just go into
the shower and because I know I'm already clean, I'll just
like plop on a toy and like fuckmyself.
(40:27):
It does, it does, it really does.
And like, even when I'm feeling like really, really sad or like
depressed, like, yeah, I'll go ride a toy or like, I, I'll do
something to myself so I, I feelbetter.
I love it. And The thing is like, I knew I
wanted to do porn since I was like young, like when I was like
12, I wanted to like I told myself that I would at some
(40:47):
point and like what? Do you want to do when you grow
up? An astronaut?
A doctor? A porn star.
No, actually my first couple of options, my first option was a
chef and then I realized I'm tooself critical of my own work to
ever be a chef because I will never be happy with anything I
put out food wise. It's just because food is like
important. Like really really important.
(41:08):
But then I want wanted to be a doctor but realized that I'm a
horrible test taker and so I ended up settling like being
like a phlebotomist for a while and I I liked it and was good at
it. But like corporate America
fucking sucks. I've been screwed at almost
every single job I've ever worked at except Starbucks.
That was what happened at Starbucks.
(41:29):
What didn't happen if they. Treated me the best.
They honestly, they gave me everything I needed.
They made me feel supported and loved.
And So what advice would you give to somebody who's just
starting making fisting content in 2020?
OK. Don't do it.
Don't do it. First of all, yeah.
I mean, do it. If you want to do it, do it.
I think you should really think about, like, what makes you
(41:49):
stand out as a fisting creator, especially because now, like
we've been talking about, like, it's highly saturated and there
are some guys out there that they can just do so much.
And it's so unfair. Like some guys just have such
the best luck in the world. And while I sit here and have to
like, train myself, I have to like, physically put in hours of
(42:10):
mandatory work. Like some people are just like,
La La la, look what I can do. And then there they go, fist up
in butt hole, you know? Sure.
But that's another reason like, like going back to like the
question we just had, like, I don't want to stop doing this.
Like, I love what I do. I am good at what I do.
And like, I'm not going to talk shit to myself and I sometimes
do, but. And we all do.
(42:32):
But it's like, it's not like somewhat like a boss or like
like some corporate manager telling you like, oh, you're
doing great, you like, everybodyloves what you're doing and then
fires you the next day. You know, cuz I've definitely
had that happen before where like I get praised about for my
work and my work flow and my work ethic and then all of a
sudden the next day I'm getting fired and they don't want to
tell me why. Yeah, it's frustrating.
Yeah. But I would tell people
(42:53):
networking is a super, super important and like, don't be
afraid to like talk with even like beginner creators as well.
Because once you do blow up, like there will, there will come
a moment where if you're consistent with it, your video.
So one of your videos will just take off so randomly like that
one that's on my, my page, my pinned tweet.
Yeah, that was a video that I had been making with another
(43:15):
content creator. Like he and I had been twisting
for a while and it was like our 4th or 5th video together.
But I guess because of the how the light was situated, how my
body was propped up, the way my whole looked like the whole
thing just worked took off. And then people flooded to my
page and they had stuff to watchbecause I had things going on.
Like you shouldn't be afraid to work with like smaller names or
(43:35):
smaller. People.
Yeah, that's such a good piece of advice.
Content creators that only work with people based on the number
of followers they have. It's so annoying to me.
Another tip, that number is not as important as you want to
think it is. Yeah, exactly.
It's important, sure, but don't give it the gravity that
everyone else is giving it, because once you do, you start.
You start losing the fight. The reason why is because you
(43:57):
start, you start second guessingeverything you do.
You start second guessing your, your thoughts, your decisions,
the way your body looks. You start wondering like, oh, I
was at this number, now I'm at this number.
Why can't I go any higher than this number?
You got to realize that like a lot of those are also bots,
right? So like just random accounts
that are just following you to follow you.
So the numbers are always like, you never know how much of it is
(44:17):
real versus how much of it is like fake.
So you should have put as much gravity on the numbers itself
unless you do have like a subscription site and then
you're seeing those numbers, those numbers that or more
because those are what's making your money.
That's like, that's what. Those are the people that count.
I mean those, yeah, those are your.
That's your, that's your fan base.
Looking yes, I like, I, I love it when people tell me that
(44:37):
they're big fans and I will never ask them if they're
subscribed or not. But like, if you are subscribed,
like I make it for you, like I do it for you.
You're you, you keep me afloat. And because of that, like, I
want to like do more for you. And, and that's one of the
things that I hate the most is just like so many people coming
out saying it like I'm a big fan, like, OK, but like, to what
(44:58):
extent? Like I real.
I realized that I used to put like 2 minute videos on my page
and then I realized that people were blow up, blowing their load
within like seconds of that. And so like I was giving away so
much free shit. And so like I've started having
to cut down and cut down and cutdown because like you don't, you
want people to like go over to your page, but you also want to
give them something so that theyknow what it looks like.
(45:18):
So it's like, it's such a fine balance, knowing how much to
like give before putting out first per SE.
Don't go too, too hard, too fastfisting from what I like to say
is a marathon and not a race, right?
It gets better like wine over time and the more you do it
consistently, the better you'll get at it.
Also like please, please, please, please and I beg of you,
(45:40):
don't just be a greedy bottom like we all want to be greedy
bottoms. We all want to be greedy bottoms
and we all have our greedy bottom phases.
But if you truly want to experience what it is to be a
Fister, you have to also be a top because so much of the
playtime, especially at parties or like huge gatherings where
you can record most of the play you're going to get is from
somebody who wants to like, flip.
(46:01):
And if you can't flip, if you'rea pillow Princess, you're not
going to get as much as you think you're going to.
Get Hello Princess. I like that.
That's cute. That's what my fiance calls me.
Apollo, this is amazing. I feel I got to know you a lot
better. I'm gonna go ahead quickly plug
your social media handles and then I'll go ahead and include
them in the, all the descriptionand the tweets and stuff that I
that I make about this. Sure, so you can find my my page
(46:23):
on X Apollo Fates 6-9 and that'sdouble FS as well as the same
kind of name for just for fans and for blue Sky.
Those are the main platforms I'musing currently.
I'm trying to also be more proactive in getting my stud
fist fist account going. I'm just really procrastinating
on that. But yeah, those are my three
main socials. Again, if you follow me on just
(46:44):
for fans, that's where I go to answer almost every message.
Like if you really want to talk to me, that's where you want to
go and send messages. I would really appreciate any
comments on those videos especially, especially because I
kind of value those a little bitmore knowing that you guys can
see them. But yeah, so it's Apollo, Fates,
APOLLOFFAT, ES-69, OK. And on all sites.
(47:05):
And I will always make sure to do the same name so you don't
have to go anywhere crazy. Exactly.
I've had a couple guys that I'vehad on the show that every
handle was different, so if you send me a text with all those in
them, I'll include them in all of the promo and stuff for the
episode. OK, sounds great.
Apollo Faiths, thank you so muchfor doing this with me.
I really appreciate your time. Yeah.
If you guys are enjoying the show, if you're enjoying hunger
(47:26):
FF presents Prolapse, we are on Amazon, Apple, Spotify, and
YouTube. Videos go live on all platforms
at 8:00 on Friday nights. Video episodes are live early on
Spotify for subscriber access only and the videos go up on
hungerff.com and just for Fans slash Hunger FF as well as on
Apollo's page on Friday at 8:00 PM.
We'll be back next week. Have a wonderful night and enjoy
(47:49):
your weekend. Take care guys.
Thanks for going deep with me onHunger FF Presents Prolapse.
If you're loving the ride, hit subscribe, drop a review, and
share the fisting love. Follow me on social media at
Hunger FF for unfiltered updatesand exclusive content.
But until next time, keep it raw, real, and always hungry.
I'll see you on the next episode.
Welcome to Brolaps, the fisting podcast that goes deep explore
my life, views and raw, unfiltered conversations with
the creators that are redefiningkink connection in the fisting
community. Hey guys, welcome back to
another episode of Brolaps and Ihave a guest on the show today
that I'm really excited to talk to Apollo Faiths, who I've been
sort of circling for I Feel hot minute.
We've never have we ever met in real life.
(00:22):
No, we have. We were supposed to be in the
exact same place so many different times.
We were like, both to like, go on certain trips or like be at
certain events together and thenjust something happens and then
things fall apart. But like, yeah, like we've
circled each other constantly. I feel this best when we were
supposed, I've heard of this concept of the content houses
(00:43):
for a long time and I've been like, wow, this sounds like
debauchery and amazing and superfun.
And so I was finally invited to 1, and I think you were supposed
to be at that. House, Yeah.
Yeah. I went.
I understand what was going on with you at the time.
There was there was 2 events. Sorry my memory is so shit.
So there was 1 and like I couldn't go and then the second
(01:04):
one the house got the event got cancelled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was super bummed and so
yeah, we had two opportunities to meet each other and I fucked
up one and then the other one I got ripped out from under me.
So I'm actually are you going tofisfest next week?
No, I have other it's my best friend's birthday so I'm going
to be skipping that one this time.
OK, I'm actually I'm finally going so.
(01:24):
I'm going to stab you with a fork.
You know, it's passive aggressive.
You know, I'm going to, I'm going to hopefully go to the one
in October too. Are you going in October?
I might, it depends. I might, I might be booked for
Rose Bowl, which is going on kind of at the same time, so.
They're such why do they do that?
I don't, I don't know. The girls can't play nice.
They really can't. And I guess, you know, that's,
that's, I mean, that's the nature of competition, I guess.
(01:47):
But yeah. I'll.
I'll always be loyal to Fisfest.That's where I got my kind of my
start. So I'm going to check them out
again. It'll be right around my
birthday so. I love it.
Let's get started just sort of at the beginning, and it's the
same question that I pretty muchask everybody that comes on.
How did you get started with fisting and what Drew?
You to it. So initially when I was
(02:07):
introduced to fisting, I was in a throuple and still love those
two. They're close friends of mine,
but we were, we were fucking. And it was like, after
everything is said and done and they're like, Hey, pull that bag
down from the closet, We've got to put this away.
And so inside that little bag, it was like I was putting with a
Lube inside the bag was like a pup toy.
And they introduced me to pup play on that night.
(02:28):
And then I was really, really, really into it.
So I got so hooked. And then they started trying to
show me more stuff. Ernie.
She was like, do you think you'dbe in a fisting?
And I was like, what's that? And then he showed me and I
remember my reaction was, what the fuck?
Why would anybody do that to themselves?
Oh my God. Fast forward a couple of years
later and here I am getting my ass destroyed.
(02:50):
But initially I had no interest in doing any fisting at all.
It wasn't until I was competing for the Mr. LA Pup competition
the first time around did my first actual like spark of
interest occur. I was, I was heading out to get
some air. It was like really hot in the
church that we were doing this all in.
And this leather guy like comes in from the outside as I'm
(03:14):
trying to go out. And so he blocks the doorway.
And it's like one of those moments where like the lights
hitting just perfect. There's like birds chirping in
the background, the music from the insides playing it.
It's it's all just like a perfect scene in a movie.
And and he was like, and he looks me dead in the eye and he
goes, I'm rooting for you, puppy.
And my placement flooded sploosh.
(03:35):
And so I was like, fuck, who is this guy?
And he was in full leather. And like, I'm a sucker for
leather. Like if you have full formals,
like I find this so hot. Sure.
And so I like went to go talk tohim and we started talking more
that day. And then he was like, well, he's
like, what are you into? And at the time I was just like
puppy playing normal fucking like whatever.
I was still a baby. And he's like, oh, I'm like
(03:57):
super into fisting. And it's kind of one of the
biggest things I do. So are you can you get fisted?
And I was like. Maybe.
But I'll, I mean, like I would love to try.
And he goes, you can't. He told me something that I tell
people all the time and now I finally understand.
It's like you can't just will yourself to get fisted.
Some people can. And fuck you if you can do it.
First of all, if you just decideone day I'm going to take a
(04:21):
fist, La La, la, la, la. And then it just goes straight
up in there like first of all. I mean, the space that's not at
all that happened to me. My first time was sort of like
that. It was like, I really want to
try fisting. I'm going to go to this daddy's
house that says he likes fistingand I got fisted so.
Wow, it took me, it took me overa year to like finally get it
(04:44):
all the way. And like, I started with like
small toys, baby baby baby putt plugs and then like slowly and
surely worked my way up bigger and bigger toys over months and
eventually stuck my own hand in my ass and it was all she wrote.
Yeah, nice. That's super hot.
I mean, I love hearing the origin stories.
I love, I just love hearing how people got into it and it
always, everybody's story is so different that there's always,
(05:06):
but then there's what the commonthread is that did you kind of
when you got it in for the firsttime, did you want it out
immediately and then want it back in right away?
Yeah. Kind of like, that's definitely
how it felt. It kind of felt the same way as
like when I first started havingsex, like I got fucked for the
first time and it hurts so bad, but at the same time felt so
good. And so like, you know, it's that
catch 22. Like I want it but no I want it
(05:27):
but no daddy I love. It exactly letting yourself like
go and like relax X enough to todo it so.
Yeah, for sure. I just think it's the, I think
it's like God's gift to fucking gay men.
It's like it's like we're just like super lucky to have this
thing and it's like so. And when people darn into it,
I'm like, that's fine. More for me.
Yeah, for sure. I do kind of feel sad when a guy
(05:48):
like that. I'm really into says he's not
into fisting. We're like that, won't try.
And I'm like, OK, I respect yourchoice.
Yeah, I respect it, but I don't agree with it.
So whatever you're you're missing out.
So really what I was really looking forward to talking to
you about is something that I'vekind of been wrestling with
myself about that you kind of verbalized on online.
You opened up about feeling unsupported despite having such
(06:11):
a big fan base because your fan base is freaking huge.
You've got two or three times asmany followers because I have,
you're all over the Internet. I see your stuff constantly, but
you're, I guess we're feeling unsupported by by your fan base.
What inspired you to share that publicly?
I won't know if you guys want tosee more feet if you guys don't
tell me you want to see feet. Like if you're gonna like I want
to do public play. But I don't even know if that
would respond well with like my fan base.
(06:32):
Like there's just a lot I don't know.
There's a lot of what ifs. And I feel like when I ask
directly to the fan base, like Iget like, like very little
response. Maybe like 1020 total and it
goes nowhere from there. And that kind of just makes me
feel bad because like I want, I see numbers dipping and I see
figures changing. And as much as I want to like
(06:54):
just chalk it up to like, you know, the economy and like
what's happening in the world right now, which is total shit.
But it's also a bit of like people are going to leave for
their own reasons. And sometimes if like they're
leaving for other reasons, like I, I really want to know.
And it's kind of hard to like touch bases with people on that
subject because they just don't want to talk about it.
It's a really weird feeling to know that like a bunch of people
(07:17):
watch you and a bunch of people say they're huge fans of you,
but then when you see like everything from the back end of
it all, like it just doesn't make any sense.
No, I get that. And my favorite is when people
are like, Oh my God, I love yourvideos on xhamster and I don't
fucking post on xhamster, you dumb bitch.
I get so mad because I'm like, you're watching pirated, stolen
copies of my stuff and so you'renot supporting.
(07:39):
You're not a fan fan if you're not or if I get a guy, I had a
guy recently that texted me and told me that he doesn't like
that I vape during my prolapse episodes and I'm like, OK, so
like 1% of people watch prolapse.
Like almost everybody listens toit.
So I wanted to be like, so are you one of the, the like percent
of people that pay for my prolapse videos?
(08:00):
Because if you are, then I valid, you know, your, your
opinion on my vaping is valid. But if you're just not and
you're listening or just watching the teasers and I don't
want to hear it. I don't want to hear that you
don't like that I'm vaping during the show or whatever.
It's like, so it's like people have an opinion when I don't.
I hate it when people have an opinion when they're not
actually supporting. Yeah, it's very hard because
I've actually got like after I posted that post yesterday,
(08:22):
people. Are doing feedback on it.
I did. I got some actual I got a lot of
feedback and then but what a lotof people didn't see on the
outs, like in the DMS and stuff was just people basically
grilling me for being doing exactly what I do.
Like they don't like OK, so likea couple people were like, your
captions are too long. I'm like, OK, I'm a talkative
(08:42):
person and I want to me, I like to gas up my Co my my Co stars
because I have a good time and Iwant that to be portrayed like I
could just go what, like everybody else.
OK, you'll never like I I think part of doing porn and doing
things in the fisting industry is finding ways, whether small
(09:04):
or big, to make yourself unique and stand out.
And I definitely feel like that this is something I do that most
people don't is like, yeah, it'sit's a bit of a blurb.
Like if you take the time to read it, then thank you.
If not, like, I understand, but at the same time, don't grill me
and saying I should change literally everything I do that
makes me unique. Like, what do you want to see
(09:24):
then? Like it?
You've got your gooner face down.
It's not even like some OK, so really kind.
My best friend, I told my best friend that I was interviewing
you and he's like, ask him aboutthe face that he makes because
it's so hot. And so I was going to figure out
a way to work that in there. But I think that to me, that
separates you. That's a big thing that
separates you, but it's it's good.
Go ahead and say what you're going to say no.
No, no, that's it's so true. Like honestly, I think right now
(09:47):
that's what keeps me afloat morethan anything.
I think that right now is what'skeeping me relevant in the
market, if that makes any sense,Because when I goon, it's
different than when you see other people good in.
There are a lot of people out there that when they go and it's
very like contrived, it's very like they do it on purpose.
And whilst there's no shame in that, like I'm not like I'm not
(10:08):
yuck in anybody's Yum. I'm not telling anybody that
they're wrong for doing whateverthey're doing.
Me personally, I can never recreate those faces on a whim.
I just get like, if you asked meto do right now, I'm like.
Yeah, exactly. Totally.
That's not it. That's not it.
So no, I get that it's some people, people ask, you know,
(10:30):
people sing on the spot or do something like that on the spot.
It's like, I don't know, I can'tjust do it on this, do it on,
you know, do whatever on the spot.
It's probably, you know, it's the same thing.
It's like those are there's an authentic natural reaction.
And that's what's so hot in pornis when things are real and
they're not fake and contrived and they're not staged or
performed. It's like an authentic reaction
like that's that's hot to me. And so that I I know there's a
(10:54):
couple of videos of yours that are like a viral that are on
every tube site and stuff where it's like you're you, it's it's
your it's hot. It's great.
I love yeah, I don't really I I don't make when I get fisted
really good. I just a lot of bro talk.
It's a lot of the only thing that comes out of my mouth is
like, yeah, bro and stupid shit like that.
But you know, if that's your, ifthat's what's keeping you
afloat, like perhaps to you. Like, that's amazing.
(11:15):
Yeah. I'm like really happy about it
because it's the one thing that I do that I feel like not a lot
of people can recreate because I've seen some people like they
goon out naturally too when they're getting fisted.
But I don't see people do it or take it to the level like I do.
Like what you're seeing on my face when things are happening
is how my brain is like working.Like if you see me spaced out
(11:37):
and gone, like there's no, thereare no thoughts up there at that
moment. Like I'm not thinking anything.
I'm like 100% just there, like, and then I'll snap to and then
you'll see everything like you'll see my entire body really
react again. And then I tend to like close up
every now and then. But it's, it's those moments
like you, what you're seeing on my face is what how my brain is
reacting to what's happening. That's really hot.
(11:58):
I think that's super hot. I love loss of this is going to
sound maybe a little weird, but I'm super turned on by loss of
body function control due to butt stuff.
And so somebody's pissing themselves.
There's somebody's tongue is hanging out, their eyes are in
the back of their head. They can't control their body
movements like because of the pleasure they're receiving from
their butt hole. I think that's super hot, so.
Yeah, it's, it's definitely whatkeeps me doing fisting.
(12:20):
Like it's something that I, I'm pretty much folks like it's
going to be for me for the rest of my life as as long as I can,
you know, like I do my best to like moderation and like, try to
like, keep myself from, you know, like going too hard too
fast and injuring myself. I would love to get to your
level someday, but you know, I'ma gaper, not a prolapser, which
(12:41):
sets, but like that is that is my class.
You know, choose your fighter. Yes, I'm the Gaper class.
You know what happened to me though, right?
I mean, I lost my yeah, I don't have, that's the kind of the
scary thing for me that I'm battling right now is that I
lost the thing that I think makes made me unique or special.
And so it's I don't have my prolapse anymore.
I don't have it like I used to. And so it's much smaller and
(13:03):
it's much more a rosebud now than it was before.
So it's a little bit weird trying to figure out where I fit
now when there's people that arelike, I can still do, I can
still get fisted. I guess it'll take some depth
with punching, whatever. But it's my prolapse is pretty
much gone. And so it's it's weird.
It feels like a limb got cut offbecause it's it's a lost.
Did you watch Agatha all along? Yeah, kind of a.
(13:23):
Little bit did you see the end or Jenny.
Jenny Kale gets her powers back.Yeah.
And she's just like, she's like,you know, she's so mad because
the thing that she thought made her special was gone.
And then when she gets it back, she's just like, like, that's
how I felt I would feel when I got my reconnection, when when I
get my reconnection surgery. And hopefully because I don't
know if it'll come back completely or not.
So we'll see what happens. But what are you?
(13:46):
Praying for you. I know Cross, I'm crossing my
fingers because it's like I missit, but it's also I'm grateful
for what I've got left. Yeah.
Do you think people underestimate how expensive and
emotionally taxing it is to create high quality content on
the Internet? Maybe this is This is why a
(14:08):
visual the visual element is so important to this show, I know.
If you, if you guys are just listening to this, I basically
just put my eyes straight to thecamera and blinked so crazy like
yes, I do think this. People.
Think that it is so fucking easyand they think it's not a job
bitch, I would love for you to come over here douche your
(14:28):
asshole for somebody for like anhour and a half and then have to
sit there and wait for them to fix all the fucking cameras, The
lights. You know you got to drive to
wherever you're going once you're and it's not even done
once you're over like done and over with once it's done, you
got to get it edited you got to post it.
You got to figure out where it'sgoing.
People use so many different systems and like Google Drive.
(14:48):
Then you, you have a Dropbox andyou have all these other
different like locations where people send stuff.
And so like things get lost and people stop communicating so
quickly that like sometimes things can just really get lost
in the shuffle. And you're sitting there like,
fuck, like I have to put something out.
People want to see something like if I'm not keeping up with
what everybody else is doing, I become irrelevant.
(15:09):
And I get it. I don't post every single day
like some of these creators do. And most of my stuff comes out
up on the weekends. You have a schedule.
Yes, I've only recently started doing the schedule.
I'm I have ADHD and I am a procrastinator.
So things get like I leave things to the last second pretty
frequently. It is like one of a strong flaws
(15:31):
of mine that I can appreciate. Yeah, it is part of who I am and
I get it. But like, you know, we're trying
to fix it as time goes on, but Ipost, I, I'm trying to do it
more where like Friday, post a trailer, the first trailer and
then I want to do Saturday whereI dropped the video, but then
like also put like another little teaser for people.
So make it like kind of like, oh, this is coming up soon where
(15:54):
it's not as like hot or risque, but like you can tell like it's
going to get there. And then like on Saturday, you
see that trailer where it does get hot and frisky and then the
video's out. So you can like choose to go
watch it. There's like a science to it.
I feel there. Really is and what, what I think
crazy thing is, I think what I have to do is a lot and, and I
do do a lot, but I have gone to other creators homes and I've
(16:17):
seen the amount of work and effort that goes into to this.
Without naming names, like I know a guy who like has a
calendar on his wall where everysingle day has something on it.
Every single day has something on it.
His computer is so organized andhas so much shit ready to go.
He is so like well built, but hehas no time for anything else.
No time. He does nothing else.
(16:38):
I, I try to hang out with him outside of like doing porn and
just he's like, Oh well, I'm editing or I have to do this or
like I'm going to go film. I'm like, OK, you know, like it
really does take so much effort,like on the physical side, like
in the material world. But then and there's also like
the mental side, right? Like it can be so taxing and so
draining to like feel like none of this is going anywhere,
(16:59):
right? Like you do it day in and day
out and like you do it for so long.
And then you, you're faced with that never ending like
realization that this is not going to be something that is
like you age, you eventually ageout.
People age out all the time. And unless you're one of those
lucky few that don't, like kudosto you.
I hope to be one of those people.
But ten years, baby. Yeah, but like some people and
(17:20):
some people just drop off. Like it's really a consistency
game. And then you start like
wondering, like you start reaching out to more people
because you have to be consistent.
And then like a lot of people dodge your messages and then you
start like second guessing yourself or like, do I look?
Good. That's the problem I think with
there's going to be a big, because there's so many content
creators, right? And there's there's going to be
(17:41):
a generation of people whose self worth is tied to their
sexuality being able to be sold on the Internet.
And because that's a really scary thing.
I'm wrestling with that because I've been doing it for now 18
years where I've been selling myass on the Internet for 18
years. And it's, I'm seeing a decline
in the amount of subscribers that I have and the amount of
(18:02):
engagement that I get. And it's a weird feeling because
my, it's my success is tied to my body is tied to my ass is
tied to, you know, that's a weird place to be in when it
starts declining because it's what am I doing wrong?
What's wrong, What's wrong with me?
It's, it's not my job performance, it's what's wrong
with me. And so, yeah, it's, and I don't,
(18:23):
I think I'm experiencing that maybe a little bit earlier than
a lot of these other people are going to be experiencing it
because I've been doing this forso long.
But I feel eventually there's going to be this moment where
people realize that they've soldthemselves to the algorithm,
they've sold themselves to the, to the Internet.
And how do you get yourself backfrom that in the end?
Yeah, I would argue that like we're seeing that generation
now. Yeah, so.
(18:44):
For sure, because I do definitely like fiscal numbers
when they pop up for me, I do like get a little hit of
endorphin, sure, like just like anybody does during payday.
But when I see those numbers drop, like you're right, it is
very much like I don't look at it as like, well, how could I
made my work better? Like I self internalize it and
it just, it feels like it feels wrong and like I know for a fact
(19:06):
that it's just me being harsh onmyself, right?
And so like I don't always post about like when I'm feeling
these kinds of things because most of the time I like to deal
with it on my own. And most of the time I do deal
with it on my own. I kind of just get over it and
just like move forward. But there are moments where like
like yesterday for sure, you seelike a dramatic drop and a
change. It boils over.
You need to. Get some of that out.
(19:27):
Yeah, I definitely feel like that's so true.
Yeah. And it humanizes us.
It makes people realize that we're not just content machines,
that we're, you know, there's a person underneath it that
actually has real feelings and actually gets, you know, that
people in the end of the day, I feel are going to, they're going
to steal content. They're going to pirate content.
They're going to do whatever they want to get off, get the
rocks off. But it's hopefully there's
enough people out there that arestill willing to kind of support
(19:50):
and see us as Yeah. And realize that I'm doing this
for my health. I'm not doing it.
You know, I love making content.I love doing fisting and I love
showing people what I'm doing with fisting.
But it's also, it is how I put aroof over my head.
And if you're going to pirate our pirate content, you're
literally taking food out of my mouth.
You know what I mean? There's people that they, they
don't realize that that stealingcontent or stealing or, you
(20:12):
know, or not supporting is literally taking food out of our
mouths. It's making us unable to pay a
bill. It's, you know, that type of
thing. It's crazy.
Yeah, and The thing is, I think that I think people should know
is like porn stars don't make like a crazy, crazy amount of
money. Like I make.
I make enough to sustain myself and pay my bills, but not enough
to eat. So like a lot of the time I'm
(20:34):
broke as fuck because I just paid all my bills and I'm
sitting at home like having cereal for three meals because I
don't have any money. I can't bro, I got.
So much time. You know, people are constantly
like saying, talking shit onlineabout like how it's not a job,
how they'll grow up, go do something with your life, all
this other shit. And it's like, well, if how
(20:55):
would you even know that this ishappening to me?
If you're not sitting there likedevouring what I'm doing right,
like you were, you're personallybenefiting from me doing this.
And because you got off in the five seconds it took you to get
off, now I don't matter. Yeah.
And and that's how it goes. Right.
Like, that's just the realization of that.
Like, that's always how it's going to be.
(21:16):
You know, people's minds change the second they come.
I know I'd be a different personafter I blow a load.
Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
I feel like logic. I feel like I succumb to logic
so hard. Exactly.
I'm going to be watching something, it's super dark and
gross and I'm done. I finally come and I'm just like
like shut my laptop and what thefuck Ryan, what's wrong with
you? I've done that.
I've done that quite a few times.
(21:37):
That is for sure. It's true.
I think one of the things you talked about that I would love
to like just harp on a little bit was humanizing yourself.
I do a lot to kind of make sure people know that like yes, I'm a
slut, but like I am a person too.
Dude. I did my Monday videos all the
time where like I would like talk to people and just like
tell people how what I thought and how I thought that they were
(21:58):
all wonderful and how everybody should have a good day and that
everyone should be happy and like all this stuff.
I genuinely feel these things like I'm not like just saying it
just to say it, but at the same time like, you know, you look at
the engagement on things like that and like the engagement was
like little to none. Maybe like 20 likes and three
comments and things like that. Like really took a toll on me
because I was like, well, I guess people don't care to see
(22:19):
the human side. And then like when people tell
me like, oh, you know, like makeit not make your captions not
super long and like go back to doing amateur stuff.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
Like that's just me. Like, I want to put those things
out there because it's, it's a good sign of faith, not only to
the people who have been following me for so long, but
also to the people who film withme, you know?
(22:41):
Like, I want people that I film with to know that, like, I
genuinely enjoyed it, that it was a good time and that they
know that I'm going to do my best to make it work for both of
us, you know? Do that in 300 characters.
You can't or the fucking one that everybody be using like die
or what TA like that's what everybody.
Is doing OK. I'm going to pull my grandpa off
(23:01):
history card right now. What is that true guy?
Because I keep. I think it's it's Indian for
fuck. OK, because I keep saying that
and I'm just like, did I miss the memo?
Like I'm like. No, it, it happened so slowly
and then like at one point it just like blew up and I saw it
everywhere and I, you know, I ended up just looking up what
the word meant. I'm like fuck, I haven't been
(23:23):
that like inspired or motivated yet.
I'm just like what do I keep saying this word for?
I don't understand. Yeah, I'm not like, I don't feel
like I'm super plugged in. I'm not really like, if it it
wasn't for being like doing pornand stuff like that, I probably
wouldn't have social media. I'm just not like a social media
person, yeah. I mean, like I've had social,
I've been, I've been doing, I'veliterally been selling my ass on
the Internet since I was a teenager.
(23:43):
So it's, I don't know how else to be.
I had a live Journal and a Myspace when I was in like when
I was like 1415 and then, and then as soon as I got 18, I got
a contract with Raging Stallion.So it was, I had a blog and I've
always been a social media presence or had a social media
presence and so I don't really know how else to be.
It's weird. Yeah, I think for me, like I was
(24:06):
around and had those things kindof growing up, but like I lived
in a household where like because I was gay, I was not
afforded the same. Like, how old are you?
I'm 29. 29 OK, I'm a little bit old.
Yeah, I was like, my, my my mom wasn't, like, the greatest
person and she, like, did a lot of really nasty things just
because I was gay. I was not allowed to, like, use
(24:28):
the computer the same way that my siblings were.
I didn't even have a room. I was forced to sleep in the
living room because my mom thought I was.
Yeah. She thought I was going to rape
my brothers. My God.
And then they stole all my shit.They talked to all the master
shit they wanted. They like, would hit me all the
time, like my mom, my brothers. And like, I couldn't do anything
back because if I did, then I'd get in trouble.
It was, there was just a lot of things that happened.
(24:49):
Like, it's just like the tip of the iceberg.
No bro, I mean like I can relate.
I mean I had my bedroom door taken off when I was a kid.
It was a lot of like door on my bedroom and I was like, this is
fucked up. Yeah, teenage boy.
Like, give me my door back, I mean.
I feel you're, it's just like I had like I had my space and my,
oh, mine's was so tricked out. Like I had music playing in the
background at every, every little thing you could customize
it with. I had, I was so into it, but I
(25:11):
never got to like really use it Or like when Facebook took off,
like I never really got to use it because even though I had an
account, like my mom was so hyper vigilant on whatever I,
whatever I was doing that like Ididn't have the chance.
To be a part of social media. And so like now that and I'm
older and I'm doing like contentcreation, like sure, like that's
where I'm at with the social like social medias aspects, but
(25:33):
otherwise I'm just like in the moment or doing whatever the
hell it is that. I'm doing, like you mentioned,
the oversaturation of fisting content.
What changed in the landscape that made you feel that fisting
is less niche than it is now? I guess.
Because it's not anymore, it's just the plain fact of the
matter. So I've noticed a small trend of
like kinks, like people picking up kinks and then blowing them
(25:55):
up and then it dying down and then another kink doing that.
So like when I first got in a pup play, it was taboo still.
And everyone was like, Oh my God, you're a pup.
Like, what the fuck? And then like 2 to three years
after I became a pup, like it blew up mainstream wise.
And so like all these guys became pups and like the people
who wouldn't talk to me because I was a pup, we're now pups.
And I'm just like, first of all,I'm just, I'm sitting there
(26:17):
like, like, OK, pop off, sis. Like you do you.
Everybody has the right to change their mind.
Like I'm not gonna talk shit to you, but I will remember.
Yeah. And so that's definitely how I
felt with like pop play. And then like a couple years
down the road, you know, I, I started getting into fisting and
it was still niche until like what 2022 is when I feel like it
(26:39):
like really took off. I started seeing people left and
right joining and being fisters again.
Some guys are like joining and like it's starting to be get to
the point where like the muscle boys are taking over again.
Yeah. Here we go again like y'all can
have fucking anything else get the fuck out of here.
Like enjoy it you know enjoy getting fisted.
(26:59):
Everybody should enjoy the kinksthat they should enjoy.
But like let's be real you can literally go do anything with
the type of body you have and nobody's going to bat an eye and
they will just throw money at you.
It's been scientifically. Proven.
I know I see guys that literallyhave only fans that they're just
taking showers or eating food and I'm I have to push out 2
feet of my colon to get a fucking notice around here.
It's crazy. It's so true.
(27:20):
So like it's the oversaturation of just people in general.
And like one thing that most people don't know about fisting
is like there's like a class system.
You say like Jr. like JRPG style, right?
Like, you know, you have your tank support and stuff like
that. Yeah, you have you have your the
people could only rosebud your gapers and then you have the
(27:41):
prolapsers, the depths. So you have like, yeah, you have
depth and then you have with Queens and then like they're
guys who do punches, right? You usually fall under a few
categories but not all of them. Like I wish I could be like deaf
like IA goal is to get to my shoulder at somebody's shoulder
at some point, but like the most.
It's, it's actually, there's a medical, there's a scientific
(28:02):
kind of thing behind it. There's a certain people are
generally had, they generally have a certain set of muscles
that allow them to do one of thethree prolapse, gape or width,
prolapse, prolapse or gape depthor width.
And so there's actually, I had adoctor, a surgeon, my surgeon on
the show a couple episodes ago and he's explained the whole
thing. And so there's actually, yeah.
So there's a there's a set of muscles that everybody is
(28:23):
usually kind of, it's rare that somebody's got all three.
So there is, it's a class system, but there's also kind of
the hierarchy. Now it feels in in fisting that
there's, you know, you're kind of it just feels very, I don't
want to say cliquish, but because I don't like the word
click, but it does feel there's a hierarchy to fisting now where
there wasn't one in the. Past, yeah, the girls like to
(28:44):
huddle up with each other when they know what they can do.
Like honestly, I feel like a lotof the depth guys to stay
together and like with guys alsolike it's just really weird how
it all works out because I'm definitely more like I'm a
gaping with puncher. Like those are my things.
Those are like my 3 categories. And I feel like like thank you,
it's all I get and I'm mad aboutit.
(29:04):
But like I very rarely feel likeI get approach for anybody being
like I want to like fist you to my elbow.
And I'm like, I would love more guys to show up to like and and
talk to me about wanting to do that stuff, but it's just kind
of not what happens. Do people ask you what you're
into? Like, like, Because for me it's
the first question that I asked when I fisted anybody.
What kind of stuff do you like? What do you want?
To do. That's the first question I
asked you, I think. I think it's a good tall tale
(29:26):
sign of a good Fisher. Sometimes.
Sometimes people ask, sometimes sometimes they don't.
And that's fine. You know, like sometimes the
guys who don't ask already know how to read the body, so it's
fine. And then other times I'll be
like, oh, can't go that far. Yeah, like what are you doing
like. My body physically won't let
you. Yeah, I used, I used.
(29:47):
I hate that when they they jump in or they jump in, assuming
that they just that what they'veseen on the Internet is what I
can do immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
definitely have this video out with muscle Mittens, which is
he's had bad. I love him.
He and I constantly get messageslike, oh, I want to fist you
like how he fisted you in that video.
And I'm like, OK, girl. But what you don't know is like
(30:07):
the hour it took for me to like relax.
Cuz like, I was having a bad dayand I wasn't like fully staying
ready. And so I was like getting really
stuck in my head and I was unable to like, let go enough to
like, fully feel it. And bless his heart, he really
like, he really did a good job of like making me feel safe and
(30:27):
grounded. And so we were able to get,
yeah, we were able to get into it.
And it turned out to be a really, really hot session.
And that was our first one ever.And so like, we were basically
like, he's like my yeah. Like when we ever we go
anywhere, like I always stay next to him.
Like, I always want to like, like be around him.
He always asks if I need anything.
He brings any poppers or like, Lube.
(30:49):
Like he's like, did you forget your Lube?
But I'll be like, yeah, he's like, do you want me to mix you
some? Thank you.
You know, like he takes care of me and it's not like a, it's not
like a weird like like financiallike what thing?
No, like no, he like genuinely just wants to make sure I have
everything I need to be like a good slut.
Yeah, I used to have one of those, but she broke up with me,
so no, Yeah, it's OK. So now I just got to do
everything myself, which is fine.
(31:10):
It's still annoying. It's like I got to rely on
myself. So I have to be a big big white
pants on and remember how to do everything myself pants.
Pants. Exactly make big girl panties on
Exactly what would meaningful support from fans actually look
like for you outside of compliments, likes and stuff
like that? What do you think?
Honestly, I want like, I want toknow what's working and what's
(31:31):
not working. Simply put, that would help me
the most. You don't have to be an ass
about it. Like if something's not working,
but like send me a private message.
Be like, hey, I really like thisor hey, like can you do more of
this feedback? I need feedback.
I don't get any. And so it's like pulling teeth
to get a little tiny compliment out of you people.
But no, like the compliments arefine.
(31:53):
Like I get like that's OK, but compliments don't do anything.
Like they're very nice and I really do enjoy it, but they
don't help me get better. They don't help me understand
what you want any better. Engage with me that that's
really what it comes down to. Like you can, I can compliment a
wall and it would, it would do the exact same thing as
complimenting me in person. Like, you're a pretty wall,
(32:15):
right? Oh, thanks.
The walls, there's no, there's like it's like, yes, thank you
so much. I really love that.
But there's like little substance, substance there,
right? It's like, it's like one of the
things like as a content creatorand as a porn star, like who
does get noticed? I hate shallow conversations.
Like I want people would have come to talk to me, but nobody
ever really talks to me about anything substantial.
I. Love every content?
(32:36):
Period, period, period. How are you doing?
Fine. Yeah, exactly.
It's a. Little frustrating.
I'm bad with closed ended answers because if you leave it
open-ended, I can continue that conversation forever.
Yeah, I will say it's I don't. I get so excited when somebody
leaves a comment on one of my videos on my website because it
makes me feel that video was in some way engaging enough that
(32:58):
they felt that they compelled tosay something about it.
Yeah, so that's how I, I kinda agree.
That's how I feel about it on Just for Fans too.
Yeah, I know that that somethingsomething about that video was
special enough that it caused somebody to actually be
compelled to to give feedback. And so I get really excited when
I when I get a comment on on a video because even but you don't
have noticed too. This is sort of sounds sort of
silly is that I could create a really amazing piece of content
(33:20):
that I think is I film it from three angles, light it
perfectly. Everything was great.
And then it won't get much engagement or feedback from from
the fans. But then I, I take a 32nd clip
of me sitting on the toilet, my butt hole out and he gets 2000
likes and I'm like, what is I don't have to try.
I'm trying to make you guys something really cool and really
special or something cool. And nobody seems to appreciate
(33:40):
it. But they appreciate like the
32nd clip of me on all fours in my playroom just because I was
bored and pushed out my butt hole and farted at the camera
for 30 seconds. And they're just like, yes, yes.
I don't know if that's what thatsays about people really need
like TikTok sized bytes of, of content.
Like if the attention span is soshort now, because we've been
conditioned to like reels and stuff like that, that are so
(34:02):
quick and so fast that that's the type of content that people
want to consume now rather than long form, well thought out
content. It's, it's a little, that's one
thing that I've noticed that's alittle bit strange.
I agree. And The funny thing about all of
that is that you're not wrong inany sense.
Like I feel like sometimes I'll put go out of my way to really
make something special and like you said, it gets like very
(34:24):
little engagement. I think the reason is, is that
people like seeing other people in their nastiest, like raunchy
moments. And because because we're
trying, that's why it's not getting any engagement.
It's like when people are nonchalantly doing something
that's natural to them that people are like, ah, yes, yes,
show thy butt hole. And you know, here we are.
(34:46):
Exactly. I made a 32nd video the other
day of me on the floor in my playroom, just like 4 is pushing
out sucking air. And I was like, oh, this is kind
of hot and dirty and gross. Maybe I'll throw up on the
Internet. And of course that's what that's
that's what gets a ton of likes.But I post a really well framed,
well lit, cool video of me getting arm fucked and people
are like, meh, it's disappointing.
It's a little disappointing. It doesn't.
It makes me feel like I don't. I shouldn't be applying this
(35:07):
much effort, but. I mean, honestly though, yeah,
like it definitely comes down tothat because it definitely does
make it feel like what you're doing is is not worth it
anymore. And and it gets even more
exacerbated when you think of like the people who are like,
oh, well, if you don't want to do this, then go get a job.
No, first of all, this is a job.And second of all, fuck you.
(35:28):
Yeah, that's crazy. But like, yeah.
And it's like, even worse because like, if you want, like,
let's say this, let's say they do love that 32nd video that you
posted out on a whim. Now what?
Where you go from there? There's nothing more to that.
It's just that, right? And so people are like, oh,
what's coming up? What's next with it?
And you're just like that. That was it.
Like now you're begging me for more content.
(35:49):
But when I put out that content,you don't even bother to like
actually watch it, so. People are confusing the The
customer in this situation is not always right.
They're not. I think the customer I I will
argue to death and I don't care.I will die on this hill by
myself. The customer is almost never
right in almost any industry. It just is what it is.
(36:10):
There are a lot of people out there who are really bad
consumers. Yeah.
And they had. Really.
There are some good ones too. There are some good.
True, but like true and and I doagree to that, but the in the
McGrath bank grand majority of people make interesting consumer
decisions and then they reflect their decisions onto the person
that is now giving them said service or object.
(36:32):
And it's just, it's just so mindboggling to.
Me and it's frustrating. Well, Speaking of porn being
work, seeing a forming work, you've worked with Club Inferno
and produced your own content. So what do you like better?
Like, do you like that kind of structured format of studio porn
or do you like doing it in your own way?
So I love making my own porn more so than I like working for
(36:55):
studios. Some studios allow for an extra
Ave. of advertisement as well aslike getting my name out there
to like a different like audience, which I'm not about.
And I do like breaking with studios because I I I like
studio work. I just, I think it's fun, but
when you're actually there, it'salmost never fun.
I don't miss the days of studio porn.
I don't. Miss them.
(37:16):
Some people don't understand like sometimes you're there for
12 hours and like you have to bedoucheed the entire time or like
if you're the top you have to stay hard the entire time.
Like there is a lot of things that can go wrong.
I have horror stories, girl, horror stories with some of the
things that have happened on setthat you would never know.
You would never know. You see that finished product
(37:37):
and you're just like, damn, there was this one set I was on
that one of my coast. He could not like, first of all,
he was waiting for his section of the scene like it was three
of us and then two other guys and they were after our scene
and our scene got started like 3hours late and then it trailed
until the like wee hours of the night, like early evening.
And then they had to go. But then like one of the guys
(37:59):
had to reduce because he had been waiting so long.
And like he said, like the shower was super, super.
The shower was super fucking cold.
Like that water? Yeah, it's impossible to clean
that. Yeah.
And then he like, then the draingot clogged.
Yeah. And he said that like they were
on the floor. And so he was having to get
fisted on the floor. Like the mat was really thin
(38:20):
that he was on. So like it like he felt it in
his spine and like, he's just having so much going.
Like, I feel so bad for him. Like every single time I think
of this story, like I think of my time on that day and I know I
was like created a little frustrated and like also just
kind of like whatevers. But if I was him, he took that
(38:40):
with grace. Yeah, I know.
I remember my old, some of my old experiences when I was
working for Raging Stallion wereless than ideal.
And that's why I just love doing.
I I don't even, I mean just content.
I don't like the word content somuch.
I just like making fisting video.
I like to record myself getting fisted by my friends, by people
that I like getting fisted by inpositions that make me feel
comfortable because I feel like so much better than like, does
(39:02):
anybody actually 69 fists in real life for fun?
Because I don't know, I just feel, I mean, like, that's to me
that's so uncomfortable. It's so awkward, but it looks
great on camera. But does anybody actually do
that for fun? I've actually I can tell you
that I've never once seen it at any play party I've ever been
to. The most I have seen though is
like a guy is getting fisted in a sling and the guy who's
(39:23):
fisting him is getting fisted while he's standing.
Up. Yeah, because that's kind of
comfortable. Like it is your legs are already
spread your whole. Exactly.
Exactly. So I was going to ask you strike
me as somebody who loves making this kind of content.
The videos, like even in the post that you made about, you
know, being kind of frustrated about the circumstances right
now, the situation right now, itwas obvious that you really love
(39:44):
doing this, that you like makingvideos that you don't want to
have to go back to kind of traditional 9 to 5 jobs.
Like no, no, I don't feel like any of us really want to have to
go back to that lifestyle. So what fuels your passion for
making this kind of content? So there's like a few things,
right? One one is just my general love
for sex in general. Like I I really do like sex a
lot and I've come to like fisting is like a huge
(40:05):
identifier for me. Like it is just big into who I
am as a person. So like I douche daily, like
anytime I shower I do, and that's just because like I want
to be ready or like I sometimes I sometimes bake itches that I
can't scratch. And so like, I'll just go into
the shower and because I know I'm already clean, I'll just
like plop on a toy and like fuckmyself.
(40:27):
It does, it does, it really does.
And like, even when I'm feeling like really, really sad or like
depressed, like, yeah, I'll go ride a toy or like, I, I'll do
something to myself so I, I feelbetter.
I love it. And The thing is like, I knew I
wanted to do porn since I was like young, like when I was like
12, I wanted to like I told myself that I would at some
(40:47):
point and like what? Do you want to do when you grow
up? An astronaut?
A doctor? A porn star.
No, actually my first couple of options, my first option was a
chef and then I realized I'm tooself critical of my own work to
ever be a chef because I will never be happy with anything I
put out food wise. It's just because food is like
important. Like really really important.
(41:08):
But then I want wanted to be a doctor but realized that I'm a
horrible test taker and so I ended up settling like being
like a phlebotomist for a while and I I liked it and was good at
it. But like corporate America
fucking sucks. I've been screwed at almost
every single job I've ever worked at except Starbucks.
That was what happened at Starbucks.
(41:29):
What didn't happen if they. Treated me the best.
They honestly, they gave me everything I needed.
They made me feel supported and loved.
And So what advice would you give to somebody who's just
starting making fisting content in 2020?
OK. Don't do it.
Don't do it. First of all, yeah.
I mean, do it. If you want to do it, do it.
I think you should really think about, like, what makes you
(41:49):
stand out as a fisting creator, especially because now, like
we've been talking about, like, it's highly saturated and there
are some guys out there that they can just do so much.
And it's so unfair. Like some guys just have such
the best luck in the world. And while I sit here and have to
like, train myself, I have to like, physically put in hours of
(42:10):
mandatory work. Like some people are just like,
La La la, look what I can do. And then there they go, fist up
in butt hole, you know? Sure.
But that's another reason like, like going back to like the
question we just had, like, I don't want to stop doing this.
Like, I love what I do. I am good at what I do.
And like, I'm not going to talk shit to myself and I sometimes
do, but. And we all do.
(42:32):
But it's like, it's not like somewhat like a boss or like
like some corporate manager telling you like, oh, you're
doing great, you like, everybodyloves what you're doing and then
fires you the next day. You know, cuz I've definitely
had that happen before where like I get praised about for my
work and my work flow and my work ethic and then all of a
sudden the next day I'm getting fired and they don't want to
tell me why. Yeah, it's frustrating.
Yeah. But I would tell people
(42:53):
networking is a super, super important and like, don't be
afraid to like talk with even like beginner creators as well.
Because once you do blow up, like there will, there will come
a moment where if you're consistent with it, your video.
So one of your videos will just take off so randomly like that
one that's on my, my page, my pinned tweet.
Yeah, that was a video that I had been making with another
(43:15):
content creator. Like he and I had been twisting
for a while and it was like our 4th or 5th video together.
But I guess because of the how the light was situated, how my
body was propped up, the way my whole looked like the whole
thing just worked took off. And then people flooded to my
page and they had stuff to watchbecause I had things going on.
Like you shouldn't be afraid to work with like smaller names or
(43:35):
smaller. People.
Yeah, that's such a good piece of advice.
Content creators that only work with people based on the number
of followers they have. It's so annoying to me.
Another tip, that number is not as important as you want to
think it is. Yeah, exactly.
It's important, sure, but don't give it the gravity that
everyone else is giving it, because once you do, you start.
You start losing the fight. The reason why is because you
(43:57):
start, you start second guessingeverything you do.
You start second guessing your, your thoughts, your decisions,
the way your body looks. You start wondering like, oh, I
was at this number, now I'm at this number.
Why can't I go any higher than this number?
You got to realize that like a lot of those are also bots,
right? So like just random accounts
that are just following you to follow you.
So the numbers are always like, you never know how much of it is
(44:17):
real versus how much of it is like fake.
So you should have put as much gravity on the numbers itself
unless you do have like a subscription site and then
you're seeing those numbers, those numbers that or more
because those are what's making your money.
That's like, that's what. Those are the people that count.
I mean those, yeah, those are your.
That's your, that's your fan base.
Looking yes, I like, I, I love it when people tell me that
(44:37):
they're big fans and I will never ask them if they're
subscribed or not. But like, if you are subscribed,
like I make it for you, like I do it for you.
You're you, you keep me afloat. And because of that, like, I
want to like do more for you. And, and that's one of the
things that I hate the most is just like so many people coming
out saying it like I'm a big fan, like, OK, but like, to what
(44:58):
extent? Like I real.
I realized that I used to put like 2 minute videos on my page
and then I realized that people were blow up, blowing their load
within like seconds of that. And so like I was giving away so
much free shit. And so like I've started having
to cut down and cut down and cutdown because like you don't, you
want people to like go over to your page, but you also want to
give them something so that theyknow what it looks like.
(45:18):
So it's like, it's such a fine balance, knowing how much to
like give before putting out first per SE.
Don't go too, too hard, too fastfisting from what I like to say
is a marathon and not a race, right?
It gets better like wine over time and the more you do it
consistently, the better you'll get at it.
Also like please, please, please, please and I beg of you,
(45:40):
don't just be a greedy bottom like we all want to be greedy
bottoms. We all want to be greedy bottoms
and we all have our greedy bottom phases.
But if you truly want to experience what it is to be a
Fister, you have to also be a top because so much of the
playtime, especially at parties or like huge gatherings where
you can record most of the play you're going to get is from
somebody who wants to like, flip.
(46:01):
And if you can't flip, if you'rea pillow Princess, you're not
going to get as much as you think you're going to.
Get Hello Princess. I like that.
That's cute. That's what my fiance calls me.
Apollo, this is amazing. I feel I got to know you a lot
better. I'm gonna go ahead quickly plug
your social media handles and then I'll go ahead and include
them in the, all the descriptionand the tweets and stuff that I
that I make about this. Sure, so you can find my my page
(46:23):
on X Apollo Fates 6-9 and that'sdouble FS as well as the same
kind of name for just for fans and for blue Sky.
Those are the main platforms I'musing currently.
I'm trying to also be more proactive in getting my stud
fist fist account going. I'm just really procrastinating
on that. But yeah, those are my three
main socials. Again, if you follow me on just
(46:44):
for fans, that's where I go to answer almost every message.
Like if you really want to talk to me, that's where you want to
go and send messages. I would really appreciate any
comments on those videos especially, especially because I
kind of value those a little bitmore knowing that you guys can
see them. But yeah, so it's Apollo, Fates,
APOLLOFFAT, ES-69, OK. And on all sites.
(47:05):
And I will always make sure to do the same name so you don't
have to go anywhere crazy. Exactly.
I've had a couple guys that I'vehad on the show that every
handle was different, so if you send me a text with all those in
them, I'll include them in all of the promo and stuff for the
episode. OK, sounds great.
Apollo Faiths, thank you so muchfor doing this with me.
I really appreciate your time. Yeah.
If you guys are enjoying the show, if you're enjoying hunger
(47:26):
FF presents Prolapse, we are on Amazon, Apple, Spotify, and
YouTube. Videos go live on all platforms
at 8:00 on Friday nights. Video episodes are live early on
Spotify for subscriber access only and the videos go up on
hungerff.com and just for Fans slash Hunger FF as well as on
Apollo's page on Friday at 8:00 PM.
We'll be back next week. Have a wonderful night and enjoy
(47:49):
your weekend. Take care guys.
Thanks for going deep with me onHunger FF Presents Prolapse.
If you're loving the ride, hit subscribe, drop a review, and
share the fisting love. Follow me on social media at
Hunger FF for unfiltered updatesand exclusive content.
But until next time, keep it raw, real, and always hungry.
I'll see you on the next episode.
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