July 18, 2025 • 44 mins
What turns you on when the taboo becomes your truth?
In this unflinching and deeply personal episode, HungerFF welcomes VersAssPunk, a prolapse-loving nullo whose devotion to radical embodiment has no off switch. They talk about the physical challenges of traveling with a prolapse, the erotic thrill of losing control, and the long-term goals of growing bigger, wetter, and bolder—even into old age.
From bathroom logistics to retirement home fantasies, Vers doesn’t hold back. He shares how his competitive streak fuels his desire to keep pushing his body further, and how walking around with a thick, slimy lapse hanging between his cheeks made him feel more turned on—and more himself—than ever.
Part confession, part manifesto, this is Brolapse at its most intense, intimate, and unforgettable.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Brolapse, the fistingpodcast that goes deep explore
my life, views and raw, unfiltered conversations with
the creators that are redefiningkink connection in the fisting
community. Hey guys, welcome back to
episode 44 of Brolapse. I cannot believe we're 44
episodes in already. It's crazy.
And we have a guest today on theshow that I'm super excited
about, somebody I've been friends with for several years
(00:22):
now. We met I think during right as
soon as COVID was ending, I feelmaybe so, yeah, because maybe
just a little bit before, I can't remember exactly, but it's
been years, a couple years. So, verse ask Punk, how are you?
Good, pretty good. How are you Hun?
Excellent. How should I address you on the
show? Should I just use your screen
name or? Verse, verse, ask punk.
Or like, I go by verse in a lot of situations too.
So that's like the easier way tosay it.
(00:43):
OK, cool, sweet. Well, since this is a fisting
podcast, we can go ahead and getstarted with an easy question.
How did you get introduced to fisting?
Oh, man, I mean, like, honestly,I've kind of been like shoving
stuff up my ass since I can remember.
Like I was literally like that. Like like literally like my
earliest memories are like, oh, I'm like shoving like hotel
shampoo bottles up my ass. So I feel like that's always
been a thing. And then like we graduated to
(01:04):
vegetables that my parents probably knew about and like did
not bring anything up with me. So thank God.
It's really like finding out about this thing.
God, I mean like typical millennial fucking desktop
computer family room late at night, not remembering the
fucking private browser mode. And I just like stumbled across
it and I was like, Oh my God, that looks fun.
Like that is way bigger than like a fucking Pantene probe
bottle. Like get that inside of me.
(01:26):
I'll probably like fucking like 10 or 11.
When I actually like figured that out I was like oh this is
what I want to do. Yeah, no.
And I remember your first, I remember there was one video of
you on X Tube for like, it was like, that's where I first met
you. It was at X Tube, I think.
And so I remember there was one video of you getting fisted, and
I remember it was kind of a cultclassic in a little way.
It was like on a bunch of tube sites, but it was like tube.
(01:47):
I think it was where you started.
Yeah, you know, I, I think I wasasking what you're talking
about. It was, Oh my God, I don't want
to say his name. He hosted me for a party in
Bushwick and like all his friends came by and were just
like punch fucking me in the slaying.
And I was like, this is, I was like my first like being a nullo
and like having like a big sexual experience with a bunch
of guys and it was fucking, it was fucking amazing.
Well, it was my first exposure to Nullo guys, and it was my
(02:11):
mind was blown. I was what is what?
Oh my God, this is amazing because I, I've always joked
around and said that I would totally go nullo if my hole
wasn't so extreme. If my hole wasn't so extreme
that I felt one day it would fail me as it has in this, you
know, unfortunately in my recentaccident, then I would have
totally done it in a long time ago.
But I don't want to be totally Sol without a, with, you know,
nothing, nothing functioning, nothing working.
(02:32):
So I was, I just was totally blown away by what I saw.
And I remember, I think I probably reached out to you.
But then when we finally met, I was so excited.
It was such an it's just a greatexperience to be exposed to
something different like that. So why do you think that fisting
an ass play resonated with you more than anything else
sexually? I mean, like I've been thinking
about this. I think it's probably I
definitely like to some extent tied up in me being a nullo, but
(02:54):
like basically since I can remember, my ass has been my
main sex organ. Like that's always how I got my
pleasure from like I was like, Oh my God, this feels fucking
amazing. And like, my like, earliest
memory is I was like this thing down here, like, OK, like it's
dangling and it like is there, but like I tuck it and I'd be
like, OK, like that looks better.
I don't know why we have this. And then like cut to like, you
(03:14):
know, me and like my fucking late teens, early 20s and I
became this like massive fistingbottom who was like, this is my
main sex organ. Like I love getting off like
this. This is great.
And then like every once in a while I'd like go Jack off in a
corner and be like, great, we'redone.
And I was like, Oh, I guess I'm stuck using this Dick to orgasm.
So like, well, I guess I have tohave you around.
And then like mid 20s, I startedfiguring out how to orgasm
without touching my Dick. And I was like the instant the
(03:36):
first fucking orgasm shot out ofmy Dick, I like by the time the
last rope had like landed on my boyfriend at the time, I was
like, oh, we're getting rid of you.
And that literally was just likethat.
Like I think fucking eight months later, it was gone and I
was waking up a nolo and that was kind of bad.
But like, for me, it's always been my ass is what matters.
I had a bunch of dysphoria aboutmy Dick.
And like this thing was by far like the main sex that I was
(03:59):
having. And it's the main sex that I
have now anyways. Yeah, that's really fascinating.
And I am so impressed with how fast you like took care of
business. I guess like it's like really,
it's really amazing. And I know that like for me, I
mean, I play in chastity almost exclusively.
And so like, because I don't want people fussing with my
Dick. I'm like, don't touch it.
Like just leave it alone. It doesn't do anything for me
(04:21):
really. And so, and then I just recently
had an experience with a guy that like I told upfront that I
was in a tragedy and I was not going to be.
And he comes over and he's like,take that dumb cage off.
I was like, get out of here. I told him I was get out.
That's so insulting to me. I don't want to, I don't want
you fussing with it. And it's it does nothing for me.
Just pretend it's not there. So it's, it's, I don't know, I
just, I admire you. I wish I could, I wish I had the
(04:43):
the courage and strength to do something about it other than
just wear a gauge. So it's really amazing.
How did that? So I guess you sort of answered
this already, but the idea of becoming an ALO, how did that
first form for you? Was it tied to just basically
just being an ass pig in general?
Well, yeah, I mean, so like I got like, like I always loved my
ass, didn't love my Dick. It wasn't something that I was a
big fan of. And like when I was like just
(05:04):
again, let's go back to that fucking desktop computer in my
parents living room. Like I was obviously going
around all these different websites and like realize like,
oh, I'm definitely about them. I love this.
Was looking at gay porn and thenfucking BME back in the day.
Body modification Ezi like yes, that OK, like the number of
kingsters slash body modded folks who are like my core
memory is this. If you're like that millennial
(05:25):
is like insane. And so like, I remember I was
going through BME and it was like interview with Anello.
And I remember I like was just scrolling through and like I saw
it and it's like in my mind likeif this is like fucking inside
out, there's a fucking like poormemory islands devoted to this
moment of like there was this like fuzzy guy with a beard and
no Dick. It was just like had a fuzzy
(05:46):
chest, had a fuzzy belly and a beard and was like just nothing
like the the instant that I saw that it all just like fucking
clicked because like I'd always hated my Dick and I was like,
why is this here? This is really weird, but like I
don't want to be a girl. I I I want to be a boy.
I just don't want to have this stuff usually associated with
(06:06):
it. And the instant that I saw that
I was like, that's it. That's exactly what I want.
I like bookmarked that and just like obsessively followed it for
fucking years. I'm like there is a little bit
more like nolo content that cameout over time and fucking I I
would always like once a year inmy 20s, like boot up the private
browser, look at like, you know,is there any way to do this
legally? Because like I don't want to get
(06:27):
like some back valley body mod. I don't want to like fly to some
random country and do it. And like never was an option.
And then one year after I had like figured out how to come, I
opened it up and there was a person online who had like gone
through this legally, like went through a professional surgeon
in the US, had it done great, had an amazing result.
And like I reached out to him and he explained that he got it
done. And like, that was the moment
(06:48):
that I was like, shit, like I can do this.
And so I started reaching out tosurgeons, found someone to do
it. And then the rest is kind of
history. And I was really glad.
I think I'm probably the second or third person who was able to
like do this professionally in the US versus having it done
like and someone's like kitchen table or something.
And so I was really happy for that.
Yeah, God, I mean, the idea of doing that in any way other than
(07:09):
the way you did it is scary. But I know there's guys that
have done that. I've seen videos online of
panectomies and stuff like that,and it's pretty scary.
It's crazy that you bring up BMEbecause I haven't thought about
that website in probably 20 years.
And I remember I was really big into body piercings when I was
younger and I was obsessed. I was obsessed with body
piercings and I had like everything pierced.
(07:29):
And so that was like my kind of like road map to figuring out my
there. I don't I never used it for I
didn't I never I don't think I ever saw the nolo interview or
like anything like that. But I remember just being
fixated on the body piercing section and then like, I don't
know, whatever happened? Is that website still around?
You know, is it still around? Yeah, it's so like it's, it's
still around, but it's like, I mean kind of like a shadow of
(07:49):
what it was. And it hasn't like changed that
much really. So like, there's not anything
new there on the on the body creasing side.
Like totally. That's also where I like, got
into like septum rings too, because there's like like this
sexy guy with like a beanie and a cute beard and like, a massive
septum ring. And I was just like, so turned
on. And I was like, I didn't fucking
do that one day. And so here we fucking are.
Yeah. Blame BME for a lot of things.
How old are you? How old are you I'm.
(08:10):
Like. 37 OK, I'm 36. So we're the same generation.
Funny that we were following thesame websites and we were all
that's really crazy. I, I, that's a really big
throwback for me at BME. I haven't thought about that in
forever. And so really, really amazing
story. I'm glad that you're able to
find a surgeon that was willing to do what you were looking for.
That's really amazing and that he was willing to connect you to
(08:30):
that person. Yeah, actually.
So actually I, I went to the same surgeon that he was going
to go to and the guy had like a two year waiting list even for a
console. And so like I went into like
fucking like MBA project managerroute road.
And I like built the sales pipeline, reached out to every
gender confirmation surgeon in the US, explain what I wanted
done. And finally I found a great one
in the Bay Area doctor Peter K Davis.
Could not recommend him enough. I was just first Nolo and he was
(08:53):
like, I am totally happy to do this XY and Z, like let's go for
it. You know, you'll do my first and
I was first. He did an absolutely fucking
amazing job. And now he does like tons of
nullifications. I think it's actually turned
into like a massive side business work.
Wow. That's crazy.
And is it something that, I mean, I'm assuming it's, well,
actually that's probably, I don't know if that question is
appropriate or not, but I mean, if this question is, is it OK?
(09:14):
So does the insurance pay for stuff like that or do you have
to pay? It's all I'm assuming that's
like an out of pocket. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so it's like, I mean, I don't find it offensive at all,
actually. And so like when I was doing it,
I paid out of pocket. I literally like, this was like
all the money that I had saved in my entire fucking life when I
did it. And I like went for it.
I think I was 28 at the time. Yeah, 28, because I'm coming up
on my ninth novel bursary. But yeah, I was spending the
(09:35):
time, paid all the money that. I have bursary.
I did, I did I'm trying to plan one for my 10th and they're
calling it another versary with my friends.
Amazing. Oh yeah.
I now I actually have a bunch offriends who are dullows who've
got me covered by insurance. So if you are in a insurance
program in just about like any blue state or even like a lot of
red states, as long as they cover gender confirmation care,
(09:55):
non binary is pretty much like durigor.
So like I've had them just explain, hey, this is what I'm
looking for. It follows an informed consent
based model. Got a couple letters from
therapists and then I've had actually almost everyone I know
now who's gotten nullified has had it covered by insurance,
which is kind of crazy. So I'm like, you got it for like
2, a $200 deductible. I had to pay like 5 figures for
(10:16):
this. But I love it if you get to be
better for the kids than it was for us.
And so things are getting betterand I like that.
That's crazy. That's really interesting and
good to know that if I ever decided to cross that road one
day. So what was the recovery process
like and how did it affect your relationship with your
specifically, your whole, but your general overall?
Body yeah, so there there's there's like a two-part thing to
that I'll go through like the not so good one and then the
(10:37):
good one. So like I specifically had like
a really rough recovery process because at the time like
hormonal and like endocrine treatments were not like seen as
like super important. And so my actually gay PCP back
in Seattle was like not a fan ofme doing it and like refused to
put me on testosterone until I had like a bunch of blood tests
to prove that it was 0. And so my levels crashed and I
(10:59):
started freaking out. I had huge anxiety attacks,
insomnia. I had to be hospitalized for a
couple weeks. It was actually like, it was the
worst way to become a nullo thatyou could possibly imagine.
The funny thing is like after that, it took about a year to
like mentally get back to a goodplace, get my hormone levels
good and go through all of that.But like, it has been the most
amazing experience of my fuckinglife.
(11:20):
And I kind of look at it as like, you could have the worst
fucking experience to become a nullo and still have it become
the best thing that ever happened to you.
So like don't be afraid if you really want to do this on the
good side though, all of that like I'd say it took me about
three months after surgery once I have my endocrine levels
normal to like orgasm again and start to experience it.
And like for me it just fit lookin key like I'm literally just a
(11:42):
hole now, like I am a set of holes and it feels so good.
Like I am writing my toys. I don't feel anything jingling.
I don't feel any of that shit. I'm just writing my toys and
like I just feel like chunks have come spilling out of my
pistol while I'm doing it. And I'm just like, this is this
is the life. Like this is what I always
imagined sex was. And now this is sex.
And like feeling the like orgasmbuild up deep inside of me as
(12:05):
I'm like getting railed and thenlike having like anal, true anal
orgasm and ejaculation. I'm just like, I'm actually made
for what I always wanted to be made for.
And it's like it's fucking. Crazy.
I'm getting super turned on justhaving this conversation.
I'm going. To go ride toys after this it's.
Amazing and watching you ride toys is such a cool thing.
I was like being on Twitter and or your ex and going through
(12:27):
watching some of the videos you posted recently and it's just
it's I think, did you see the comment I left you like you are
really the perfect human. Really something like that.
I was like, it's so fucking hot.It's like I just something it
just resonates with me too. So it's it's really amazing to.
Thanks. Yeah.
Super hot. So you're super masculine and
confident. Was that something that people
expected would change after surgery or were you nervous that
(12:49):
that would change? Were you nervous that there
would be changes that you weren't expecting?
I guess. Yeah, so I think like IA couple
things on that. I think like, well, a couple
things first. Like I, I went into this being
like great, I can finally ignoremy crotch.
Like I could ignore this. I can just be a whole like we're
fucking good. Great.
The funny thing was I ended up being like, Oh my God.
Like my flat crotch feels amazing and I like it and I
(13:11):
don't feel dysphoria about it. It's amazing.
So I kind of got like an extra sex organ that I didn't plan for
after this. And like having my crotch licked
or playing with my crotch. Like honestly, my favorite ways
to come is just like having somebody like gently lick my
crotch and my pistol until I shoot and it's like great.
So that part was like, oh, you got extra plaything.
It's awesome. In terms of like my relationship
to like the rest of my body, I didn't really think that much
(13:33):
through beyond just like I hope that I can orgasm still because
like I don't like orgasm denial.I like to orgasm like come like
four or five times a day now. And I was just like, OK, I still
want that. But like, The funny thing was I
didn't expect this. I was more at home in my body
and I started like taking care of it before surgery.
I was like, oh, my body is like an input.
It is what it is. I have it.
I just hope to keep it healthy and like whatever.
(13:54):
And after surgery I was like, oh, it's like an output.
I can make it what I want it to be and I can take pride in it.
So like, I started working out. I went on like my doctor was
like some new Doctor who was great.
Was like, I can just put you on the high end of testosterone.
I'm like, it's not hard. And I was like, OK.
And so like, I started like sprouting a beard and chest hair
and belly hair and like buildingmuscles and like, I always was
(14:15):
into bears and like bearish guysand I wasn't really one.
So like, next thing I like looked in the mirror one day and
I was like, shit, like I look like right.
I was like, I look like that guythat I saw in BME.
Like there's this like muscle nullo with like a beard and all
this fuzz all over. And I was like, holy shit, like
for the first time, this looks like what I always wanted it to
look like. And it's just amazing.
(14:37):
Like I have a way better relationship with my body and I
treat it better because I take pride in it.
I'm not ashamed of parts of it. And so like, it actually worked
out on like a whole psychological level in a lot of
different ways better than I ever thought it.
Amazing. That makes me so aged super
happy for you. And it's also it's just that's
so exciting. It's like just to have that kind
of relationship with your body where you're and you're so like
(14:58):
you're so smart about the way you describe it as an input and
an output. It's a really clever way of
thinking about it. And I don't know, I'm just the
more I talk to you, just more happy for you.
I am. I mean, we've had conversations
about this in the past, but it'sjust it's really, really
amazing. And hopefully this this
conversation kind of brings a little bit more closure
understanding to to the nullo process in general.
So I'm assuming the answer to this next question is yes, but I
(15:19):
mean has your pleasure changed post op the way you experience
pleasure? Oh, definitely, yeah.
So I think, I mean, obviously how could it not?
But I think in a couple areas onspecifics, one, my nips got
crazy wired because I don't it'slike, what is that fucking?
There's a fucking 90s show wheresomebody lost their sight or
something and got superpowers everywhere else.
(15:40):
And so I literally great, OK, there we go.
Perfect. Like, yeah.
So like that's other parts of mybody, like my brain really
quickly rewired to get like a lot of pleasure from other parts
of my body. And so like having my nips
played with is fucking crazy now.
And like my whole definitely gotmore sensitive because like your
brain has like a much lower threshold to turn something into
(16:00):
like insane pleasure. And so just like I think I can
come from like all these different things.
I can come from just like thinking about it and like
flexing the nerves inside of myself and like it has become so
much more fun. I pleasure is great.
I get to do it everywhere. I'm sort of it just having like
having my Dick and like orgasms are kind of different.
Like I can't just it's hard to describe unless you've done
both. But like I feel like when you
have a Dick, if you Jack off like the you're almost like
(16:22):
pulling the orgasm out of your Dick because you have this like
massive sensitive head and that's just all you're focused
on with me. Like I feel it building up
inside of me and I feel like allthe glands, all the muscles
working and I feel like the actual like semen building up
inside of me. And then when it shoots over it
just like explodes out and it's like orgasms are still fucking
good, dude. It's it's like having them.
(16:43):
I can't. I hate to come less but I'm like
doing it all the time. It's amazing.
That's so hot and it's really interesting because I mean, I
think maybe because I people have like a maybe a general
misunderstanding of anatomy or some degree.
I would think that if if you don't have balls, then you
wouldn't be able to come like traditionally like, like like,
but you do like you said, I I'm assuming right?
(17:04):
Oh yeah, OK. It's, it's, it's one of the most
common questions like, so like there's like a set of questions,
which is like, how do you pee? Do you come XY and Z?
And like the cum part, everyone thinks that like your cum is
made in your balls, but like, that's just the sperm.
Everything else is made by your bulba erythroid glands inside
your pelvis. And so like my cum looks the
exact same and it's the exact same amount people have said.
Like it tastes a little sweeter.And I do kind of think that like
(17:27):
having tasted both types that come from a lot of different
mellows and intact guys, like ittastes a little different.
But like that's kind of the onlything that I noticed.
And yeah, like mellows can stillorgasm.
We can still come like all the basics.
Yeah, I have like AI wrote like a quick FAQ on my that's on my
leg trigger kind of like covers some of the basic questions.
And like, yeah, we can still come and it feels really good.
Do. You get so annoyed with some of
the questions though sometimes. Do you ever get annoyed with the
(17:48):
questions? Because I know I get annoyed
with how do you poop all the time.
Constantly I like well, actuallyI'm TMI, but we can talk about
that because I found that out over the past two weeks.
But I will say like, fuck it, I don't really get like sometimes
yes, but The thing is you can take both sides of it.
On one hand I can be like, it's not my job to educate you, like
(18:09):
do what you want. And on the other hand, I'm like,
if you approach it with like genuine curiosity and you're
just like, Hey, I have a question.
I'm like, you know what, I'm happy to talk about it.
I have no shame about like the details of this, like any of it.
And like, I like giving people more knowledge and kind of
making it more well known. Like, it blows my mind how much
more well known being a nullo isthan like when I did it like
fucking eight years ago, eight years ago, nobody knew about it.
(18:32):
You're a big part of that. Though like I think that like.
Yeah, you're kind of blows my mind.
A big part of why I think there's a new awareness to it, I
mean like because you're so out and your face is out there
you're by like I mean like you're very out and proud about
it. So it's I think that there's
you're to thank for a big part of that.
So normally it or making it lessstigmatized, it's think or if
(18:54):
there was, I don't know if there's stigma is the right
word, but it's an unknown kind of thing, an unknown elements to
being a nullo and stuff like that.
You've kind of Deshadow. Deshadow took the shadow away
from that. I guess.
I don't know that's the right way to say it.
No, I totally get that. I mean, like I when I was doing
it, this was like the most shameful thing in my mind, like
(19:15):
before I actually came out to like my partner at the time, my
friends and like did it like again, I weed on my computer
once a year on the private mode to even like look at this, and
it was so deep and shameful. It was like in a box deep like
away on like the shelf in the back of my mind.
I never wanted to talk about it and then I did it.
And like, The thing is, I guess if I like, I like just living my
life and being myself and being like being a nullo isn't like,
(19:37):
it doesn't have to be some like dark sadistic fantasy where you
like, you know, cut off like like your junk cut off in
someone's kitchen. And it's like a whole BDSM
thing. Like I, I'm a gentle, I, I love
nurturing, supportive, equal sex.
And I think that being a nolo isjust like amazing.
And it can be a wonderful positive thing.
And you don't have to be scared of it.
Like if you ever think you're a nolo, you don't have to think
(19:57):
that it's going to be some horrible thing.
It can just be part of a great life.
Yeah, and what's funny is that you could literally swap the
word Fister out for literally everything you just said.
Yep. And it's that was kind of my
kind of initial, not that what Iset out to do, but what I feel
kind of happened was that I didn't think that being fisting
in your fisting was shameful. I just didn't think that it was
they. I mean, I just thought that why
(20:18):
deprive yourself of this thing that you want?
Like it's it's so amazing and can make your life so full and
so, so fun and and it feels so good.
So why deprive yourself of that?And I'm really glad that the
mindset has changed about fisting, you know, and, and
being in all over the last couple of years, it seems since
2017. I sort of 2017, 2018 seems when
the shift happened with fisting,it's like during COVID,
(20:40):
everybody got into fisting. During COVID, now everybody's a
Fister. It blows my fucking mind like
when I did this, no one knew what a nullo was.
And then I remember like the fucking I used to do like the
Atlantis cruise with friends andthe first cruise I went on like
nobody was an asshole, but everybody was like, oh, what is
that? And I had to use my like
standard explanation. But the last time I went on it,
I was like in the hook up with somebody, I was like, Hey, I
just want to let you know, like I'm a nullo and built like this
(21:01):
and this he was like, I know what a fucking nullo is.
I didn't live under a fucking and I was like, you fucking you
fucking demon twink. Like, how the fuck?
But also like after I was like, we're not gonna hook up.
I was like, that's a sign of success.
It's some bitchy little demon twink.
It's like, OK, I'm totally awareof this.
I was like, OK, we're doing well.
I've done my job, yeah. Do you feel more aligned with
your sexual identity now than you did before?
(21:22):
100% I always felt like a whole and I was like why do I have
penetrated things when I I didn't like I didn't like
fucking, I didn't like getting my Dick sucked.
Like that feeling after you comeand someone keeps sucking your
Dick where you're like get the fuck off of me.
Yes, that would happen before I came because like it was too
much sensation for my brain. Like it hurt to have that much
sensation going into my head. And so like it fits my brain and
(21:43):
what I want now. And yeah, the identity, like my
body fits my identity, which like here we are an identity
based world and like my body finally fits it and it's just so
euphoric. So cool, so cool.
And I again, just I'm going to say it like probably 10 more
times in this interview. I relate so much to you because
it's I hate getting my Dick sucked.
I'm when anytime anybody sucks my Dick, I'm just.
Like right? Get hot for me and I don't like
(22:05):
to top. I don't like to fuck.
I'm just not. It's never I'm never so excited
that I need to stick my Dick inside somebody.
It's very rare that if that happens, it's super rare.
So again, it's just something I identify with like big time
myself. So I'm sure that there's other
people that are listening that probably especially the fisters
are probably there's a lot of guys that feel the same way.
So what's your weekly or the daily relationship with your
whole like now? Do you have a routine for play
(22:26):
and stretching? Yeah, so I mean, I think it's
changed a little bit because nowI've like really leaned into the
like, OK, like let's develop this fucking lapse.
And so, so like I'd say now it'slike twice a day.
Oh God, this is like so embarrassing.
Like twice a day, like once on the toilet in the morning.
I'm like, OK, pop your guts 100 times, just like pop it 100
times, feel it, come out, squeeze, come back in.
And then it's like, OK, at least5 minutes of like hold your guts
(22:48):
popped and like push as hard as you can and like do that.
So I do that like twice a day. And then I think honestly, and
this is like kind of crazy, I generally play like, play and
probably like RIP my ass open like once like twice a week
probably. I'm not like a daily person.
I wish I was better about that. And like I'm trying to get
better about it, but yeah, like,like for me, it's just like when
the mood strikes that I'm super stressed out.
(23:09):
I just need to ride some toys. I probably ride more toys, toys
than I do like hook up with people.
I'm a big like vibes and relationship based person.
So like if I'm your friend and like we vibe, I would love to
have sex. But like I'm not generally into
the like random hookup thing. So, you know, I have a good,
good crew of friends here. We play on a regular basis.
And yeah, the prolapse thing is like, I will say it's kind of
(23:29):
fun because like I don't have tolike clean out or use toys now.
I can just like the body is the toy and I'm like oh shit, this
is fucking fun. Like I can do it anytime I want
now. Yeah, exactly.
And let me tell you, since I have my little accident, my
little accident, little accident, I don't have to douche
anymore. It's kind of amazing.
OK, like seriously, I thought about that.
Sorry. No, it's OK dude, I'm getting
(23:50):
fisted or prolapsing my pole literally all the time because
it's like. Right.
I, I, I, I, I never actually like I, I, I wouldn't do it.
But in the back of my mind I wasalways like, wouldn't it be nice
just to have a like ostomy bag and then just like always be
fuckable? Like, come on, man.
It's kind of the shit. I mean, like it's like, I
literally like, oh, OK, I guess I went to the bathroom and we
(24:12):
just snap it off, snap it on. And it's because it's you have
to wear this like plate on your belly and then you just take the
bag off and on. And so but then you're this, I
don't have to wipe my ass. I don't want to do nothing.
And so it's like it's kind of amazing, amazing.
I'm going to miss it a little bit when they when they do their
reconnection surgery. I'm going to honestly miss it
because it's, this has been, I've had more sex in the last
since I had my ostomy back than I did when I didn't have it.
(24:36):
So and it's like I'm getting more interested in like punch
fisting and like they're not depth width and just my prolapse
is kind of almost this. It's not as freakishly long as
it was before, but it's still pretty big.
So I'm grateful I still do the same things and never have to
fucking worry about douching. It's really amazing.
I'm glad, like I feel a douchingthing because like that's
probably the reason that I don'tplay as much.
If I like, if I like play super deep, I end up being like clean
(24:58):
for like a couple days And like those are the days where like,
oh, I'll just wake up and like sit on toys in the morning and
then I'll do it again in the afternoon and I'll do it again
in the evening because like I don't have to worry about that
like right feeling. That's kind of a pain in the
ass. This is so much so much better.
And I'm I'm brand now I have twoprolapses, so.
I saw that photo. Oh my God, I saw it.
And I was like, yes, yes, yes. I was I've taken many more
(25:21):
photos. That's the only one that I was
like, maybe that means so I'm people are gonna get a kick out
of this if I post this. Like I said, for those of you
guys that didn't see the photo, I blew a load on my stoma.
So like I was just like I was jerking off and then I just
didn't have the bag out of this came on my came on it and I was
like, well, this will be hot forTwitter.
So I took a picture of it and it's my surgeon.
I don't know if you saw this, but my surgeon actually told me
(25:43):
that. He's like, dude, he's like, you
have a couple more months with your stoma.
He's like film the fringiest fringe content that you can.
He's like, do something really fucking weird.
He's like you, only you're like the only person on the planet
with two prolapses right now. He's like, so fucking roll with
it. Do it.
And so I was like, like, Oh my God, I'm so lucky.
Like I got the coolest it's. Kind of amazing.
(26:04):
And also like I will say like there's like always would be
like that's the grossest thing ever.
And I think you said like I'm a gross boy.
I do gross boy things. Yeah.
And I have like used that line now because I'm like with my
friends and I'm like that like that describes me like I'm a
gross boy. I do gross boy things like like
I, I want to turn inside out. I want to do insane sexual
stuff. I do a bunch of body mods, like
we'll just split tongue and everything.
And like I do gross things. That makes me happy.
(26:24):
Yeah, I do too. And that's what I feel.
I'm like, I just like gross boy sex.
Like we don't worry about. I mean, I like man smell.
I like, you know, just. Yes, please.
Being a gross boy. And so that's just how I
describe my my sexualities. I just like gross boy stuff.
As I say, it's like, I just likereally gross boy stuff.
So yeah, no, it's funny. I'm glad that that resonated
with you because it's it was, I remember you commented on it.
(26:46):
It was right away. It was, it was, it was cute.
So we're going to get to the prolapsing stuff again in a
minute. There's a bunch of questions I
want to ask about that. But what was your entry point
into content creation? And like, what drew you to start
filming more stuff recently? Because I know in the beginning
I feel it was like a couple of like videos where you weren't
showing your face. And then it just seems lately,
like I see like tons of videos of you on the Internet and it's
super odd. I mean, yeah.
(27:07):
So I in terms of like like I never, I guess, like I the the
identity of like content creation and content creator is
like super new to me. I hadn't like historically
thought of myself as that. I guess.
Like to be honest, I I I can't really explain it because it was
like X2 was when I first starteddoing this.
And so there's like the one where I was like looking up to
me's place and I was getting gang banged and then like a
bunch of ones where I was like ripping my ass up with like my
(27:27):
like old boyfriend Dick dildo. Oh, I remember.
Those I remember. Those two, yeah I was actually,
it was like super random, but I was like post breakup in Iceland
and I like had like 4 days therewhere it was like dark all the
time because it was a winter solstice and I was, it's like I
bought enough weed. I'm just going to like RIP my
hole open for the entire week there and like post those videos
and like I, it's kind of hard toexplain.
Never really thought about like why I did it.
(27:48):
I guess I just, I wanted it out there and I wanted people to see
that this was a thing and that like it was fun and I, I didn't
think people were going to like it.
I literally was like, OK, I'm going to do this like no one's
going to want to see this. It's fucking weird.
And then like it just grew and grew and grew over time on X
tube and then other platforms. And then I hey, more and more
(28:09):
comfortable doing it. At first I would hide everything
beyond my whole. Then I would put a fucking emoji
on my head and be like, okay, you can kind of see that even
you can see my fucking DC tattoo.
And then by the end I was like, I don't give a fuck.
I just put my face out there andI like it, but I think I don't
see a division. Was our was our video one of the
first times you showed your face?
I think actually, yeah, that wasactually, I think actually it
(28:32):
has to have been because I literally was on a road trip
with my boyfriend at the time. And the first stop on the trip,
we hit our faces when I posted that fucking photo from Island
House and then at yours, I was like, I don't know the fuck,
like just do it. And after that, like it was my
face and my fucking crotch and butt hole everywhere.
And I kind of love it. Like I, I wouldn't, I, I post
(28:53):
more and more. I guess I just, I, I kind of
like showing it off. I'd become like a huge
exhibitionist. Like before I was like kind of
ashamed of my body. I didn't like it.
I again, like, it was like, it was what it was and it wasn't
great. And then I started loving it and
now I'm like a huge fucking exhibitionist and like, I like,
I'm wearing more clothes than I normally ever do in my house.
I'm like naked all the time. I love it.
I'm like, I'm Naked from the waist down.
(29:16):
I do almost all these episodes of my pants off but I just like
throw a shirt on and just go roll with it.
But. Nice.
I love your facial responses. You're very reactive when you're
playing. It's it's super and you kind of
I like the the little bit of herbal you been doing with the
camera lately. Is that my is that is it coming
out? It's it's so it's so hot to me.
So thanks, you sent me the most adorable video showing me your
(29:38):
prolapse progress. So can you walk us through the
prolapse journey since you started last year?
And like, what did you do or what changes have you noticed?
Yeah, so I think like, I honestly, like I actually, I
think you were, you were the first person that I saw with the
prolapse. And like that was another like
core memory where I was just like, that is the hottest
fucking thing. Like it's just so beautiful.
And something about like being anullo but popping something out
(30:00):
of me and being able to like my goal one day is like pop a tail
out and Jack off until I come onto the tail.
Like that's the like, that's theI'm going to be like, I didn't
like I could die now, but I always I always wanted one and
like I, my, my thoughts at the time were like, it's not like
you're kind of born with it or you know, or you like how that
are you dumped? It's like great.
It's genetics, it's your ligaments, it's your college
information. It is what it is and like it is
(30:21):
what it is. And so I always was playing
harder and harder and didn't really like I had like a great
rosebud but didn't see anything.And then I I'm talking with a
friend, I think Wilson fist online and he was like, no,
like, yes, he's so sweet. And he was like, hey, like, like
it actually is a thing. He sent me photos of like, Hey,
here's people I know who developed it over time, Like
here's before, here's the after,like it's possible.
(30:43):
And so I was like, you know what, Okay, I, I still actually
don't think it's gonna work for me because like it's still, it
is what it is, but like, sure, I'll try it.
And so a lot of that was one just like massive, deep, like
deep, massive play was the thing.
And literally like this guy, thechance XL that was actually like
the changing point. I remember the first time a
friend brought his over and justlike I was afraid when it popped
(31:05):
past my second ring that it likeperched me, nothing at all.
It was fine. But then like cut to him like
railing me as deep and fast as he could for like 30 minutes.
And like everything started folding differently inside of me
and I was like, oh, like, that'sa thing.
And the other thing was the fucking ass hammer.
If you ever see it, it's 2 metalballs on like a metal rod.
And if you push it up inside of yourself and push like your
(31:26):
guts, it will grab onto your guts And as you pull it
literally drags your guts through you and like pulls it
out, which feels amazing. And just like over time I was
like OK, like maybe it's workingmaybe it's not but like I still
don't think it's going to happen.
And then randomly I was getting like intensely played with with,
with Wilson fist. And at the end of the weekend I
was like, I have to like pee andI was pushing and I felt this
(31:49):
weird fucking like pop inside ofme.
And I was like, Oh, is that good?
Is that bad? And like I started popping more
and more and it feels really good.
And then over the past couple weeks I was like, I'm like
popping all the time now and like I'm pushing when I'm
popping. And I literally like looked
down. I was like, what the fuck?
Like, what the fuck? And I just like pulled my like
(32:09):
rows apart. And then I pushed again and like
all this stuff came out and I was like, holy fuck, like,
right. And I was like, oh, shit.
And so I was like, this, this could happen.
And like, I've seen over the past last couple years, I mean,
what is that? Like, fisting is the new bare
backing, prolapsing is the new fisting.
Like, everyone was doing it. I was seeing all these folks on
Twitter pull, like, pull it off.And I was like, OK, look, I
let's see where this look like goes.
(32:30):
You know, it hasn't like, pops fully out of my hole, but I'm
like, OK, there's a legitimate tail inside of me.
Yeah. And like, the more I push the
tail out, the better it feels. I'm totally playing with the
tail. Oh my God.
Dude I used to jerk mine off allthe time.
It's so fucking hot I could takeliterally both hands and jerk it
off but like. Like you're making me so Hardy.
But like I will say it's funny because like I didn't appreciate
(32:52):
that. Like the nerves deeper inside of
you are very different than likethe ones around your hole.
So like it's not pressure touch sensitive, but like if I play
with the end of my like tail, itstill feels really good.
It's like a weird, I can't explain it but like it's fucking
addictive man. Because there are, there are no
nerve endings there. That's why a lot of times when
people get perforated, they don't feel it because there's no
(33:12):
nerves there to, to feel it. You feel a change in the
pressure in your body because there's and so that's why it's
like sucks will feel good on it,but but like necessarily
touching because some guys will be when I used to be able to
prolapse a really big I would they'd be playing with it and I
couldn't even really necessarilyfeel it or they would lick it
and I couldn't feel it and I'd be like, OK, like, yeah, it's
cool visual, but I can't really feel it.
(33:32):
But then they would start actually blowing it and I'd be
like, OK, now I can feel that, that that feels amazing.
So it's really cool, it's reallyexciting for you, and I'm
totally play like the Pokémon evolution sound when.
He evolved. It's crazy, right?
I was traded with a horse cock and now all of a sudden it's
(33:54):
working. Exactly.
It's like a rare candy. Do you think now that anybody
can develop a prolapse or do youor do you think that it's still
tied to genetics and the training versus practice?
Yeah. So I think when I first started
this, I was like, it is or it isn't, You just gotta fucking
deal with it. And now I think it's probably
more of a spectrum. I think there is a variance in
terms of how easy or hard it is for you to do that.
(34:15):
I think also I saw your interview with shit, who's the
British guy? The British guy who can
prolapse. He's like super sexy.
Yeah, yes. So OK, I listened to that.
And he was like, yeah, there's like a class of folks were like,
it just pops out all the time. But I think for a lot of other
folks, like there's work that you can do to start to like
break down the ligaments inside your colon and to like stretch
things out and open it. And like the more work you do,
(34:36):
the easier it's going to be. And like if you're super, super
not prone to it, it's going to take a lot of work.
If you're super prone to it, it's going to take less.
But like it's a bit of like an inverse kind of like kind of
curve. And I think like I think a lot
of people can make more progressthan they think it just, I mean,
Wilson has said that to me. He's like, it just takes work.
Like, yeah, you got to do it allthe time.
And like I get it. And if it takes daily 200 push
(34:59):
outs and all this stuff for years, I'm just going to enjoy
that. I think the next step is like
getting a fucking penis pump andlike pushing it inside and
starting to grab the tail and pull it out.
So that's the that's the next thing that'll happen.
I'm going to have AI have one coming in a couple days.
So we'll see how that goes. Amazing.
I have AT jar canister that I used to use on mine, so it's
like. I saw those videos.
Those are so good. It was so good.
(35:20):
I used to love doing that, the quote there.
The other thing I was going to say too, I feel as long as
you're doing it safely and and slowly over time, I think that's
the important thing with prolapsing is because if you
rush it, a lot of guys they feelare rushing to get to to, to to,
I don't know, really big sizes. And so that's when you're more
likely to hurt yourself If you're training at the muscle
over time, I feel it's a lot safer than if the guys that are.
(35:43):
The message I'm trying to get across right now is just to take
your time is in general. Yeah, everybody should just kind
of, it's going to, you know, it'll happen eventually one day,
you know, but just kind of chillwith not overdoing it so much so
you don't want to be back pumping yourself to the point of
bleeding and stuff like that. Yeah.
So just the general messaging isthat I take your time with it
and be careful, be safe and insane.
(36:03):
And when you're doing it, what are your long term goals with
your prolapse? Do you have any concerns or
anything you're worried about? I mean, this is where like I'm
going to be meant to being like a gross boy.
Like I'm fucking into it. Like I like, I mean, you were
like, oh shit. Like it's really hard to go to
the bathroom if I'm like not at home with like a bidet or the
supplies. And I like that kind of turns me
on. Actually.
I, I was fucking admit it, like I could be like 80 years old.
(36:25):
I was like a fucking elderly nullo in a rest home with like a
massive lapse that falls out allthe time in a flat crotch.
And I'll be like, I'm going to be so turned on by that.
Like I fucking admit it. It is what it is in terms of
like goals. I, I have like a super
competitive mindset. Like like NBA corporate girl.
She will get like way too competitive.
So like I try not to be like, I have to do X.
I'm just like, I want to see where it goes.
(36:46):
I try not to compare myself to other people too much, but like
the bigger and longer the better.
I can't wait till she starts. It's like popping out of my hole
fully. I just, I finally hit the point
where I was like I was walking around a few days ago with like
it kind of pushed out between mybutt cheeks and I was just like,
it felt like this big slimy ball, like just tickling my butt
cheeks and I was like, Oh my fucking God, this is good.
(37:07):
Literally. Fuck I do chores that out
something. Yes, I just.
Like walk in my house that out, it turns me on.
I'm just, and I also am turned on by the idea.
I mean like loss of body function due to extreme
analysis. Like it's kind of like a weird
turn on for me, but it's I I totally get it.
That's something that's developed over time.
If you would have told me 10 years ago, I would have been
turned on by that. I've been like, no, I don't
(37:28):
think so, but but it's definitely here we are exactly
as I'm getting older, my sexual kinks are getting weirder.
It's like it's, it's exactly So what?
So what role does prolapsing play in your overall identity
and pleasure now? Because it becoming like a
bigger focus. Yeah, so I think like, I mean,
it's still super new. I think I've posted that video
like 2 weeks ago, 2 1/2 weeks ago.
(37:49):
So like, I mean super early stage.
I will say 1. It's a really fun experience
just to push and like feel you, you like you're the toy.
Like I, it's fucking crazy. And like I, I make the dildo and
I am the dildo inside of myself and I just like, I realized
afterwards I could just like popit back and forth past my first
(38:09):
ring and that feels fucking great in terms of like identity.
I mean, I, I, like I said something about being a dullo,
but also being able to pop something phallic out whenever I
want to just really speaks to me.
Like I really love the idea thatlike I'm flat when I want to be
and then like if I want someone to, like if you want something
to play with and you're like a fucking bottom at heart, you can
play with this tail. I can pop it out.
(38:30):
So I think I'm just going to seewhere it goes.
This is like so early and honestly so unexpected.
I kept practicing, but I was like, I don't think I'm one of
those people. So like, it is what it is.
And now I'm like 2 1/2 weeks into like, whatever the opposite
of the five stages of grief is like the like 5 stages of like,
holy shit, it's joy. No ask me in like 5 years and I
was gonna say. One day, one day I'll do like
(38:50):
this kind of segues. I mean sort of, but I mean I'll
get a bunch of prolapsers on here together. 5 there's.
Got to be a pun for the round table or something.
You have to be a round table option.
So it's that would be super fun to just get me just talk about
our experiences because it's that's there's a very specific
set of experiences that are specific to people that can
prolapse. And so it's, I think that would
be a really fun conversation to have.
(39:11):
So as somebody who's listened tothe show before, how does it
feel stepping into the role of guests on Prolapse?
I mean kind of fucking great. Like literally, I mean, like,
like, I don't want to sound corny or something, but I'm like
really honored. Like, like you bring on all
these crazy amazing people who also were like part of formative
things of media that I watched that are like fucking crazy.
And I'm just like, Oh my God, you have like all these like
(39:32):
kink legends on the show and like the fact that you're even
like, Oh yeah, I'd love to have you on.
I was like, fucking shit, dude, that's crazy.
You're. A kink legend yourself.
Starting to appreciate that likewe did a, like I did a mellow
meet up with some friends at Folsom a few years ago and like
it just blew my mind that there were all these guys who were
like, Oh yeah, yeah, that X2 video, That's where I found out
about this. And I was like, holy fucking
(39:52):
shit. Like I have all these kids now.
I have like all these like it's actually like a multi level
marketing scheme. Like, like I've sold my thing to
everybody else. Now I get a cut, no pun
intended, to like the second way.
And so like we're going to go with that now.
That's amazing. The whole point of the show,
really, it was a little bit selfish in the in the beginning
when I started because I had gotten really bad.
What is the rest right? We're not agoraphobia.
Yeah, just social anxiety about where I fit in the fisting
(40:14):
community anymore. Yeah, it was.
You know, when I, when I saw youin Mexico, for example, I mean,
I was, I was retreating and kindof recoiling into myself and not
really sure where I fit anymore.And so this was kind of, you
know what? No, I want to, I still want to
be a part of it. I still want to talk to people.
And this is kind of my selfish way of kind of force forcing
myself back out of my shell is getting to reconnect, reconnect
with people that I, you know, haven't connected with in a long
(40:36):
time or reconnect with or connect, reconnect with people
that, or connect with people that I have never met before and
just kind of get back out there.So, and I'm glad that it's
resonating because it in the beginning, it's morphed into
something different. But it's, I am just trying to
kind of show everybody has a story and we're all fucking
interesting. All these people that are doing
content or that are personalities on Twitter and X
(40:57):
just what you see is necessarilynecessarily all that you don't
necessarily see everything aboutthem.
So it's I'm trying to kind of humanize us and show people that
we are interesting outside of our Twitter profiles or outside
of our X profiles. And so I'm just really grateful
that you were willing to come on.
So if there is one thing that you I wish that people
understood better about being a nullo, or just maybe even about
prolapsing, what would it be? Honestly, for like the nullo
(41:17):
thing, I would just say like it.I think I said it before, but I
want to reiterate it Like it doesn't have to be scary.
It doesn't have to be like this crazy dark thing.
And like it's simultaneously themost amazing crazy thing that's
ever happened to me. But it's also like just my life.
Like I wake up, I'm a flat nullo.
I'm happy, I live my life, I work my job, I have friends, I
just, I am a nullo and I'm happyand it's fun and it's uplifting
(41:39):
and it's positive. And like if you've been
thinking, got it or like you're like, Oh my God, I've wanted
this forever and I'm afraid of it.
Like what's my life going to be like?
Like your life's probably going to be exactly like what it was
before, just a lot happier. And like if you really want to
go for it. I did this because like I
thought in the back of my mind, I was like, well, great, I could
not do this. And I could be like 80 years old
and about to die and be like, well, you never try the thing
(41:59):
that you really wanted to experience.
Or I could do it and do it And like that is the best gift that
28 year old me ever gave me. And I get to open that gift and
experience it for the rest of mylife.
Give yourself that gift. Like if you really want it.
Your body. You are like the salesman for
this. You are the.
First tip. Exactly where can people find
(42:20):
more about you on the Internet and where should what should
they be watching out for next? They could plug your social
media handles and stuff. Like that yeah, definitely.
So I'm verse ask punk everywhere.
So like I'm I'm not going to sayacts Twitter and Blue Sky are
the 2 main places, but I'm on like I have a blink tree on both
of those and they also link to an FAQ.
So if you've got questions on that, like take a look at the
FAQ, I am happy to answer any questions not on there.
(42:41):
Like don't like don't feel afraid to like ask me or ping
me. I'll get to it and I will
eventually answer you on that. In terms of what's coming next,
Like I just want to give birth to this guy.
Like I'm forced somebody just dilated and I have like a
fucking like probably like a four year labor ahead of me, but
like he's crowning and we're going to pop this guy out.
So like watch me give birth to my new friends.
Like that's basically what we'reat.
(43:02):
That's amazing and I am very excited to see what happens with
it. Yeah.
First, Ask Punk, thank you so much for coming on the show.
I'm very grateful for your time and for just coming on and being
so candid and open and like letting me ask questions that I
wasn't sure if we're appropriateor not.
So I really sincerely appreciateit.
And you guys, if you guys are enjoying the show, we are on
Apple, Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube.
(43:22):
Early video access to the episodes goes live as soon as
I'm done editing them on Spotify.
And then Friday nights at 8:00 PM on hungerff.com.
And just for fans, slash Hunger FF audios available across all
platforms for free on Friday nights at 8:00 PM.
It'll also be available on whatever.
I'll give you a copy so you can post it on whatever hand, you
know, whatever places you're on.And then, yeah, thank you again.
(43:44):
And this has been another episode of Roll Ups and we'll
see you guys again next week. Have a good night.
Thanks. Bye.
Thanks for going deep with me onHunger FF Presents Roll Ups.
If you're loving the ride, hit subscribe, drop a review and
share the fisting love. Follow me on social media at
Hunger FF for unfiltered updatesand exclusive content.
But until next time, keep it raw, real, and always hungry.
I'll see you on the next episode.
Welcome to Brolapse, the fistingpodcast that goes deep explore
my life, views and raw, unfiltered conversations with
the creators that are redefiningkink connection in the fisting
community. Hey guys, welcome back to
episode 44 of Brolapse. I cannot believe we're 44
episodes in already. It's crazy.
And we have a guest today on theshow that I'm super excited
about, somebody I've been friends with for several years
(00:22):
now. We met I think during right as
soon as COVID was ending, I feelmaybe so, yeah, because maybe
just a little bit before, I can't remember exactly, but it's
been years, a couple years. So, verse ask Punk, how are you?
Good, pretty good. How are you Hun?
Excellent. How should I address you on the
show? Should I just use your screen
name or? Verse, verse, ask punk.
Or like, I go by verse in a lot of situations too.
So that's like the easier way tosay it.
(00:43):
OK, cool, sweet. Well, since this is a fisting
podcast, we can go ahead and getstarted with an easy question.
How did you get introduced to fisting?
Oh, man, I mean, like, honestly,I've kind of been like shoving
stuff up my ass since I can remember.
Like I was literally like that. Like like literally like my
earliest memories are like, oh, I'm like shoving like hotel
shampoo bottles up my ass. So I feel like that's always
been a thing. And then like we graduated to
(01:04):
vegetables that my parents probably knew about and like did
not bring anything up with me. So thank God.
It's really like finding out about this thing.
God, I mean like typical millennial fucking desktop
computer family room late at night, not remembering the
fucking private browser mode. And I just like stumbled across
it and I was like, Oh my God, that looks fun.
Like that is way bigger than like a fucking Pantene probe
bottle. Like get that inside of me.
(01:26):
I'll probably like fucking like 10 or 11.
When I actually like figured that out I was like oh this is
what I want to do. Yeah, no.
And I remember your first, I remember there was one video of
you on X Tube for like, it was like, that's where I first met
you. It was at X Tube, I think.
And so I remember there was one video of you getting fisted, and
I remember it was kind of a cultclassic in a little way.
It was like on a bunch of tube sites, but it was like tube.
(01:47):
I think it was where you started.
Yeah, you know, I, I think I wasasking what you're talking
about. It was, Oh my God, I don't want
to say his name. He hosted me for a party in
Bushwick and like all his friends came by and were just
like punch fucking me in the slaying.
And I was like, this is, I was like my first like being a nullo
and like having like a big sexual experience with a bunch
of guys and it was fucking, it was fucking amazing.
Well, it was my first exposure to Nullo guys, and it was my
(02:11):
mind was blown. I was what is what?
Oh my God, this is amazing because I, I've always joked
around and said that I would totally go nullo if my hole
wasn't so extreme. If my hole wasn't so extreme
that I felt one day it would fail me as it has in this, you
know, unfortunately in my recentaccident, then I would have
totally done it in a long time ago.
But I don't want to be totally Sol without a, with, you know,
nothing, nothing functioning, nothing working.
(02:32):
So I was, I just was totally blown away by what I saw.
And I remember, I think I probably reached out to you.
But then when we finally met, I was so excited.
It was such an it's just a greatexperience to be exposed to
something different like that. So why do you think that fisting
an ass play resonated with you more than anything else
sexually? I mean, like I've been thinking
about this. I think it's probably I
definitely like to some extent tied up in me being a nullo, but
(02:54):
like basically since I can remember, my ass has been my
main sex organ. Like that's always how I got my
pleasure from like I was like, Oh my God, this feels fucking
amazing. And like, my like, earliest
memory is I was like this thing down here, like, OK, like it's
dangling and it like is there, but like I tuck it and I'd be
like, OK, like that looks better.
I don't know why we have this. And then like cut to like, you
(03:14):
know, me and like my fucking late teens, early 20s and I
became this like massive fistingbottom who was like, this is my
main sex organ. Like I love getting off like
this. This is great.
And then like every once in a while I'd like go Jack off in a
corner and be like, great, we'redone.
And I was like, Oh, I guess I'm stuck using this Dick to orgasm.
So like, well, I guess I have tohave you around.
And then like mid 20s, I startedfiguring out how to orgasm
without touching my Dick. And I was like the instant the
(03:36):
first fucking orgasm shot out ofmy Dick, I like by the time the
last rope had like landed on my boyfriend at the time, I was
like, oh, we're getting rid of you.
And that literally was just likethat.
Like I think fucking eight months later, it was gone and I
was waking up a nolo and that was kind of bad.
But like, for me, it's always been my ass is what matters.
I had a bunch of dysphoria aboutmy Dick.
And like this thing was by far like the main sex that I was
(03:59):
having. And it's the main sex that I
have now anyways. Yeah, that's really fascinating.
And I am so impressed with how fast you like took care of
business. I guess like it's like really,
it's really amazing. And I know that like for me, I
mean, I play in chastity almost exclusively.
And so like, because I don't want people fussing with my
Dick. I'm like, don't touch it.
Like just leave it alone. It doesn't do anything for me
(04:21):
really. And so, and then I just recently
had an experience with a guy that like I told upfront that I
was in a tragedy and I was not going to be.
And he comes over and he's like,take that dumb cage off.
I was like, get out of here. I told him I was get out.
That's so insulting to me. I don't want to, I don't want
you fussing with it. And it's it does nothing for me.
Just pretend it's not there. So it's, it's, I don't know, I
just, I admire you. I wish I could, I wish I had the
(04:43):
the courage and strength to do something about it other than
just wear a gauge. So it's really amazing.
How did that? So I guess you sort of answered
this already, but the idea of becoming an ALO, how did that
first form for you? Was it tied to just basically
just being an ass pig in general?
Well, yeah, I mean, so like I got like, like I always loved my
ass, didn't love my Dick. It wasn't something that I was a
big fan of. And like when I was like just
(05:04):
again, let's go back to that fucking desktop computer in my
parents living room. Like I was obviously going
around all these different websites and like realize like,
oh, I'm definitely about them. I love this.
Was looking at gay porn and thenfucking BME back in the day.
Body modification Ezi like yes, that OK, like the number of
kingsters slash body modded folks who are like my core
memory is this. If you're like that millennial
(05:25):
is like insane. And so like, I remember I was
going through BME and it was like interview with Anello.
And I remember I like was just scrolling through and like I saw
it and it's like in my mind likeif this is like fucking inside
out, there's a fucking like poormemory islands devoted to this
moment of like there was this like fuzzy guy with a beard and
no Dick. It was just like had a fuzzy
(05:46):
chest, had a fuzzy belly and a beard and was like just nothing
like the the instant that I saw that it all just like fucking
clicked because like I'd always hated my Dick and I was like,
why is this here? This is really weird, but like I
don't want to be a girl. I I I want to be a boy.
I just don't want to have this stuff usually associated with
(06:06):
it. And the instant that I saw that
I was like, that's it. That's exactly what I want.
I like bookmarked that and just like obsessively followed it for
fucking years. I'm like there is a little bit
more like nolo content that cameout over time and fucking I I
would always like once a year inmy 20s, like boot up the private
browser, look at like, you know,is there any way to do this
legally? Because like I don't want to get
(06:27):
like some back valley body mod. I don't want to like fly to some
random country and do it. And like never was an option.
And then one year after I had like figured out how to come, I
opened it up and there was a person online who had like gone
through this legally, like went through a professional surgeon
in the US, had it done great, had an amazing result.
And like I reached out to him and he explained that he got it
done. And like, that was the moment
(06:48):
that I was like, shit, like I can do this.
And so I started reaching out tosurgeons, found someone to do
it. And then the rest is kind of
history. And I was really glad.
I think I'm probably the second or third person who was able to
like do this professionally in the US versus having it done
like and someone's like kitchen table or something.
And so I was really happy for that.
Yeah, God, I mean, the idea of doing that in any way other than
(07:09):
the way you did it is scary. But I know there's guys that
have done that. I've seen videos online of
panectomies and stuff like that,and it's pretty scary.
It's crazy that you bring up BMEbecause I haven't thought about
that website in probably 20 years.
And I remember I was really big into body piercings when I was
younger and I was obsessed. I was obsessed with body
piercings and I had like everything pierced.
(07:29):
And so that was like my kind of like road map to figuring out my
there. I don't I never used it for I
didn't I never I don't think I ever saw the nolo interview or
like anything like that. But I remember just being
fixated on the body piercing section and then like, I don't
know, whatever happened? Is that website still around?
You know, is it still around? Yeah, it's so like it's, it's
still around, but it's like, I mean kind of like a shadow of
(07:49):
what it was. And it hasn't like changed that
much really. So like, there's not anything
new there on the on the body creasing side.
Like totally. That's also where I like, got
into like septum rings too, because there's like like this
sexy guy with like a beanie and a cute beard and like, a massive
septum ring. And I was just like, so turned
on. And I was like, I didn't fucking
do that one day. And so here we fucking are.
Yeah. Blame BME for a lot of things.
How old are you? How old are you I'm.
(08:10):
Like. 37 OK, I'm 36. So we're the same generation.
Funny that we were following thesame websites and we were all
that's really crazy. I, I, that's a really big
throwback for me at BME. I haven't thought about that in
forever. And so really, really amazing
story. I'm glad that you're able to
find a surgeon that was willing to do what you were looking for.
That's really amazing and that he was willing to connect you to
(08:30):
that person. Yeah, actually.
So actually I, I went to the same surgeon that he was going
to go to and the guy had like a two year waiting list even for a
console. And so like I went into like
fucking like MBA project managerroute road.
And I like built the sales pipeline, reached out to every
gender confirmation surgeon in the US, explain what I wanted
done. And finally I found a great one
in the Bay Area doctor Peter K Davis.
Could not recommend him enough. I was just first Nolo and he was
(08:53):
like, I am totally happy to do this XY and Z, like let's go for
it. You know, you'll do my first and
I was first. He did an absolutely fucking
amazing job. And now he does like tons of
nullifications. I think it's actually turned
into like a massive side business work.
Wow. That's crazy.
And is it something that, I mean, I'm assuming it's, well,
actually that's probably, I don't know if that question is
appropriate or not, but I mean, if this question is, is it OK?
(09:14):
So does the insurance pay for stuff like that or do you have
to pay? It's all I'm assuming that's
like an out of pocket. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so it's like, I mean, I don't find it offensive at all,
actually. And so like when I was doing it,
I paid out of pocket. I literally like, this was like
all the money that I had saved in my entire fucking life when I
did it. And I like went for it.
I think I was 28 at the time. Yeah, 28, because I'm coming up
on my ninth novel bursary. But yeah, I was spending the
(09:35):
time, paid all the money that. I have bursary.
I did, I did I'm trying to plan one for my 10th and they're
calling it another versary with my friends.
Amazing. Oh yeah.
I now I actually have a bunch offriends who are dullows who've
got me covered by insurance. So if you are in a insurance
program in just about like any blue state or even like a lot of
red states, as long as they cover gender confirmation care,
(09:55):
non binary is pretty much like durigor.
So like I've had them just explain, hey, this is what I'm
looking for. It follows an informed consent
based model. Got a couple letters from
therapists and then I've had actually almost everyone I know
now who's gotten nullified has had it covered by insurance,
which is kind of crazy. So I'm like, you got it for like
2, a $200 deductible. I had to pay like 5 figures for
(10:16):
this. But I love it if you get to be
better for the kids than it was for us.
And so things are getting betterand I like that.
That's crazy. That's really interesting and
good to know that if I ever decided to cross that road one
day. So what was the recovery process
like and how did it affect your relationship with your
specifically, your whole, but your general overall?
Body yeah, so there there's there's like a two-part thing to
that I'll go through like the not so good one and then the
(10:37):
good one. So like I specifically had like
a really rough recovery process because at the time like
hormonal and like endocrine treatments were not like seen as
like super important. And so my actually gay PCP back
in Seattle was like not a fan ofme doing it and like refused to
put me on testosterone until I had like a bunch of blood tests
to prove that it was 0. And so my levels crashed and I
(10:59):
started freaking out. I had huge anxiety attacks,
insomnia. I had to be hospitalized for a
couple weeks. It was actually like, it was the
worst way to become a nullo thatyou could possibly imagine.
The funny thing is like after that, it took about a year to
like mentally get back to a goodplace, get my hormone levels
good and go through all of that.But like, it has been the most
amazing experience of my fuckinglife.
(11:20):
And I kind of look at it as like, you could have the worst
fucking experience to become a nullo and still have it become
the best thing that ever happened to you.
So like don't be afraid if you really want to do this on the
good side though, all of that like I'd say it took me about
three months after surgery once I have my endocrine levels
normal to like orgasm again and start to experience it.
And like for me it just fit lookin key like I'm literally just a
(11:42):
hole now, like I am a set of holes and it feels so good.
Like I am writing my toys. I don't feel anything jingling.
I don't feel any of that shit. I'm just writing my toys and
like I just feel like chunks have come spilling out of my
pistol while I'm doing it. And I'm just like, this is this
is the life. Like this is what I always
imagined sex was. And now this is sex.
And like feeling the like orgasmbuild up deep inside of me as
(12:05):
I'm like getting railed and thenlike having like anal, true anal
orgasm and ejaculation. I'm just like, I'm actually made
for what I always wanted to be made for.
And it's like it's fucking. Crazy.
I'm getting super turned on justhaving this conversation.
I'm going. To go ride toys after this it's.
Amazing and watching you ride toys is such a cool thing.
I was like being on Twitter and or your ex and going through
(12:27):
watching some of the videos you posted recently and it's just
it's I think, did you see the comment I left you like you are
really the perfect human. Really something like that.
I was like, it's so fucking hot.It's like I just something it
just resonates with me too. So it's it's really amazing to.
Thanks. Yeah.
Super hot. So you're super masculine and
confident. Was that something that people
expected would change after surgery or were you nervous that
(12:49):
that would change? Were you nervous that there
would be changes that you weren't expecting?
I guess. Yeah, so I think like IA couple
things on that. I think like, well, a couple
things first. Like I, I went into this being
like great, I can finally ignoremy crotch.
Like I could ignore this. I can just be a whole like we're
fucking good. Great.
The funny thing was I ended up being like, Oh my God.
Like my flat crotch feels amazing and I like it and I
(13:11):
don't feel dysphoria about it. It's amazing.
So I kind of got like an extra sex organ that I didn't plan for
after this. And like having my crotch licked
or playing with my crotch. Like honestly, my favorite ways
to come is just like having somebody like gently lick my
crotch and my pistol until I shoot and it's like great.
So that part was like, oh, you got extra plaything.
It's awesome. In terms of like my relationship
to like the rest of my body, I didn't really think that much
(13:33):
through beyond just like I hope that I can orgasm still because
like I don't like orgasm denial.I like to orgasm like come like
four or five times a day now. And I was just like, OK, I still
want that. But like, The funny thing was I
didn't expect this. I was more at home in my body
and I started like taking care of it before surgery.
I was like, oh, my body is like an input.
It is what it is. I have it.
I just hope to keep it healthy and like whatever.
(13:54):
And after surgery I was like, oh, it's like an output.
I can make it what I want it to be and I can take pride in it.
So like, I started working out. I went on like my doctor was
like some new Doctor who was great.
Was like, I can just put you on the high end of testosterone.
I'm like, it's not hard. And I was like, OK.
And so like, I started like sprouting a beard and chest hair
and belly hair and like buildingmuscles and like, I always was
(14:15):
into bears and like bearish guysand I wasn't really one.
So like, next thing I like looked in the mirror one day and
I was like, shit, like I look like right.
I was like, I look like that guythat I saw in BME.
Like there's this like muscle nullo with like a beard and all
this fuzz all over. And I was like, holy shit, like
for the first time, this looks like what I always wanted it to
look like. And it's just amazing.
(14:37):
Like I have a way better relationship with my body and I
treat it better because I take pride in it.
I'm not ashamed of parts of it. And so like, it actually worked
out on like a whole psychological level in a lot of
different ways better than I ever thought it.
Amazing. That makes me so aged super
happy for you. And it's also it's just that's
so exciting. It's like just to have that kind
of relationship with your body where you're and you're so like
(14:58):
you're so smart about the way you describe it as an input and
an output. It's a really clever way of
thinking about it. And I don't know, I'm just the
more I talk to you, just more happy for you.
I am. I mean, we've had conversations
about this in the past, but it'sjust it's really, really
amazing. And hopefully this this
conversation kind of brings a little bit more closure
understanding to to the nullo process in general.
So I'm assuming the answer to this next question is yes, but I
(15:19):
mean has your pleasure changed post op the way you experience
pleasure? Oh, definitely, yeah.
So I think, I mean, obviously how could it not?
But I think in a couple areas onspecifics, one, my nips got
crazy wired because I don't it'slike, what is that fucking?
There's a fucking 90s show wheresomebody lost their sight or
something and got superpowers everywhere else.
(15:40):
And so I literally great, OK, there we go.
Perfect. Like, yeah.
So like that's other parts of mybody, like my brain really
quickly rewired to get like a lot of pleasure from other parts
of my body. And so like having my nips
played with is fucking crazy now.
And like my whole definitely gotmore sensitive because like your
brain has like a much lower threshold to turn something into
(16:00):
like insane pleasure. And so just like I think I can
come from like all these different things.
I can come from just like thinking about it and like
flexing the nerves inside of myself and like it has become so
much more fun. I pleasure is great.
I get to do it everywhere. I'm sort of it just having like
having my Dick and like orgasms are kind of different.
Like I can't just it's hard to describe unless you've done
both. But like I feel like when you
have a Dick, if you Jack off like the you're almost like
(16:22):
pulling the orgasm out of your Dick because you have this like
massive sensitive head and that's just all you're focused
on with me. Like I feel it building up
inside of me and I feel like allthe glands, all the muscles
working and I feel like the actual like semen building up
inside of me. And then when it shoots over it
just like explodes out and it's like orgasms are still fucking
good, dude. It's it's like having them.
(16:43):
I can't. I hate to come less but I'm like
doing it all the time. It's amazing.
That's so hot and it's really interesting because I mean, I
think maybe because I people have like a maybe a general
misunderstanding of anatomy or some degree.
I would think that if if you don't have balls, then you
wouldn't be able to come like traditionally like, like like,
but you do like you said, I I'm assuming right?
(17:04):
Oh yeah, OK. It's, it's, it's one of the most
common questions like, so like there's like a set of questions,
which is like, how do you pee? Do you come XY and Z?
And like the cum part, everyone thinks that like your cum is
made in your balls, but like, that's just the sperm.
Everything else is made by your bulba erythroid glands inside
your pelvis. And so like my cum looks the
exact same and it's the exact same amount people have said.
Like it tastes a little sweeter.And I do kind of think that like
(17:27):
having tasted both types that come from a lot of different
mellows and intact guys, like ittastes a little different.
But like that's kind of the onlything that I noticed.
And yeah, like mellows can stillorgasm.
We can still come like all the basics.
Yeah, I have like AI wrote like a quick FAQ on my that's on my
leg trigger kind of like covers some of the basic questions.
And like, yeah, we can still come and it feels really good.
Do. You get so annoyed with some of
the questions though sometimes. Do you ever get annoyed with the
(17:48):
questions? Because I know I get annoyed
with how do you poop all the time.
Constantly I like well, actuallyI'm TMI, but we can talk about
that because I found that out over the past two weeks.
But I will say like, fuck it, I don't really get like sometimes
yes, but The thing is you can take both sides of it.
On one hand I can be like, it's not my job to educate you, like
(18:09):
do what you want. And on the other hand, I'm like,
if you approach it with like genuine curiosity and you're
just like, Hey, I have a question.
I'm like, you know what, I'm happy to talk about it.
I have no shame about like the details of this, like any of it.
And like, I like giving people more knowledge and kind of
making it more well known. Like, it blows my mind how much
more well known being a nullo isthan like when I did it like
fucking eight years ago, eight years ago, nobody knew about it.
(18:32):
You're a big part of that. Though like I think that like.
Yeah, you're kind of blows my mind.
A big part of why I think there's a new awareness to it, I
mean like because you're so out and your face is out there
you're by like I mean like you're very out and proud about
it. So it's I think that there's
you're to thank for a big part of that.
So normally it or making it lessstigmatized, it's think or if
(18:54):
there was, I don't know if there's stigma is the right
word, but it's an unknown kind of thing, an unknown elements to
being a nullo and stuff like that.
You've kind of Deshadow. Deshadow took the shadow away
from that. I guess.
I don't know that's the right way to say it.
No, I totally get that. I mean, like I when I was doing
it, this was like the most shameful thing in my mind, like
(19:15):
before I actually came out to like my partner at the time, my
friends and like did it like again, I weed on my computer
once a year on the private mode to even like look at this, and
it was so deep and shameful. It was like in a box deep like
away on like the shelf in the back of my mind.
I never wanted to talk about it and then I did it.
And like, The thing is, I guess if I like, I like just living my
life and being myself and being like being a nullo isn't like,
(19:37):
it doesn't have to be some like dark sadistic fantasy where you
like, you know, cut off like like your junk cut off in
someone's kitchen. And it's like a whole BDSM
thing. Like I, I'm a gentle, I, I love
nurturing, supportive, equal sex.
And I think that being a nolo isjust like amazing.
And it can be a wonderful positive thing.
And you don't have to be scared of it.
Like if you ever think you're a nolo, you don't have to think
(19:57):
that it's going to be some horrible thing.
It can just be part of a great life.
Yeah, and what's funny is that you could literally swap the
word Fister out for literally everything you just said.
Yep. And it's that was kind of my
kind of initial, not that what Iset out to do, but what I feel
kind of happened was that I didn't think that being fisting
in your fisting was shameful. I just didn't think that it was
they. I mean, I just thought that why
(20:18):
deprive yourself of this thing that you want?
Like it's it's so amazing and can make your life so full and
so, so fun and and it feels so good.
So why deprive yourself of that?And I'm really glad that the
mindset has changed about fisting, you know, and, and
being in all over the last couple of years, it seems since
2017. I sort of 2017, 2018 seems when
the shift happened with fisting,it's like during COVID,
(20:40):
everybody got into fisting. During COVID, now everybody's a
Fister. It blows my fucking mind like
when I did this, no one knew what a nullo was.
And then I remember like the fucking I used to do like the
Atlantis cruise with friends andthe first cruise I went on like
nobody was an asshole, but everybody was like, oh, what is
that? And I had to use my like
standard explanation. But the last time I went on it,
I was like in the hook up with somebody, I was like, Hey, I
just want to let you know, like I'm a nullo and built like this
(21:01):
and this he was like, I know what a fucking nullo is.
I didn't live under a fucking and I was like, you fucking you
fucking demon twink. Like, how the fuck?
But also like after I was like, we're not gonna hook up.
I was like, that's a sign of success.
It's some bitchy little demon twink.
It's like, OK, I'm totally awareof this.
I was like, OK, we're doing well.
I've done my job, yeah. Do you feel more aligned with
your sexual identity now than you did before?
(21:22):
100% I always felt like a whole and I was like why do I have
penetrated things when I I didn't like I didn't like
fucking, I didn't like getting my Dick sucked.
Like that feeling after you comeand someone keeps sucking your
Dick where you're like get the fuck off of me.
Yes, that would happen before I came because like it was too
much sensation for my brain. Like it hurt to have that much
sensation going into my head. And so like it fits my brain and
(21:43):
what I want now. And yeah, the identity, like my
body fits my identity, which like here we are an identity
based world and like my body finally fits it and it's just so
euphoric. So cool, so cool.
And I again, just I'm going to say it like probably 10 more
times in this interview. I relate so much to you because
it's I hate getting my Dick sucked.
I'm when anytime anybody sucks my Dick, I'm just.
Like right? Get hot for me and I don't like
(22:05):
to top. I don't like to fuck.
I'm just not. It's never I'm never so excited
that I need to stick my Dick inside somebody.
It's very rare that if that happens, it's super rare.
So again, it's just something I identify with like big time
myself. So I'm sure that there's other
people that are listening that probably especially the fisters
are probably there's a lot of guys that feel the same way.
So what's your weekly or the daily relationship with your
whole like now? Do you have a routine for play
(22:26):
and stretching? Yeah, so I mean, I think it's
changed a little bit because nowI've like really leaned into the
like, OK, like let's develop this fucking lapse.
And so, so like I'd say now it'slike twice a day.
Oh God, this is like so embarrassing.
Like twice a day, like once on the toilet in the morning.
I'm like, OK, pop your guts 100 times, just like pop it 100
times, feel it, come out, squeeze, come back in.
And then it's like, OK, at least5 minutes of like hold your guts
(22:48):
popped and like push as hard as you can and like do that.
So I do that like twice a day. And then I think honestly, and
this is like kind of crazy, I generally play like, play and
probably like RIP my ass open like once like twice a week
probably. I'm not like a daily person.
I wish I was better about that. And like I'm trying to get
better about it, but yeah, like,like for me, it's just like when
the mood strikes that I'm super stressed out.
(23:09):
I just need to ride some toys. I probably ride more toys, toys
than I do like hook up with people.
I'm a big like vibes and relationship based person.
So like if I'm your friend and like we vibe, I would love to
have sex. But like I'm not generally into
the like random hookup thing. So, you know, I have a good,
good crew of friends here. We play on a regular basis.
And yeah, the prolapse thing is like, I will say it's kind of
(23:29):
fun because like I don't have tolike clean out or use toys now.
I can just like the body is the toy and I'm like oh shit, this
is fucking fun. Like I can do it anytime I want
now. Yeah, exactly.
And let me tell you, since I have my little accident, my
little accident, little accident, I don't have to douche
anymore. It's kind of amazing.
OK, like seriously, I thought about that.
Sorry. No, it's OK dude, I'm getting
(23:50):
fisted or prolapsing my pole literally all the time because
it's like. Right.
I, I, I, I, I never actually like I, I, I wouldn't do it.
But in the back of my mind I wasalways like, wouldn't it be nice
just to have a like ostomy bag and then just like always be
fuckable? Like, come on, man.
It's kind of the shit. I mean, like it's like, I
literally like, oh, OK, I guess I went to the bathroom and we
(24:12):
just snap it off, snap it on. And it's because it's you have
to wear this like plate on your belly and then you just take the
bag off and on. And so but then you're this, I
don't have to wipe my ass. I don't want to do nothing.
And so it's like it's kind of amazing, amazing.
I'm going to miss it a little bit when they when they do their
reconnection surgery. I'm going to honestly miss it
because it's, this has been, I've had more sex in the last
since I had my ostomy back than I did when I didn't have it.
(24:36):
So and it's like I'm getting more interested in like punch
fisting and like they're not depth width and just my prolapse
is kind of almost this. It's not as freakishly long as
it was before, but it's still pretty big.
So I'm grateful I still do the same things and never have to
fucking worry about douching. It's really amazing.
I'm glad, like I feel a douchingthing because like that's
probably the reason that I don'tplay as much.
If I like, if I like play super deep, I end up being like clean
(24:58):
for like a couple days And like those are the days where like,
oh, I'll just wake up and like sit on toys in the morning and
then I'll do it again in the afternoon and I'll do it again
in the evening because like I don't have to worry about that
like right feeling. That's kind of a pain in the
ass. This is so much so much better.
And I'm I'm brand now I have twoprolapses, so.
I saw that photo. Oh my God, I saw it.
And I was like, yes, yes, yes. I was I've taken many more
(25:21):
photos. That's the only one that I was
like, maybe that means so I'm people are gonna get a kick out
of this if I post this. Like I said, for those of you
guys that didn't see the photo, I blew a load on my stoma.
So like I was just like I was jerking off and then I just
didn't have the bag out of this came on my came on it and I was
like, well, this will be hot forTwitter.
So I took a picture of it and it's my surgeon.
I don't know if you saw this, but my surgeon actually told me
(25:43):
that. He's like, dude, he's like, you
have a couple more months with your stoma.
He's like film the fringiest fringe content that you can.
He's like, do something really fucking weird.
He's like you, only you're like the only person on the planet
with two prolapses right now. He's like, so fucking roll with
it. Do it.
And so I was like, like, Oh my God, I'm so lucky.
Like I got the coolest it's. Kind of amazing.
(26:04):
And also like I will say like there's like always would be
like that's the grossest thing ever.
And I think you said like I'm a gross boy.
I do gross boy things. Yeah.
And I have like used that line now because I'm like with my
friends and I'm like that like that describes me like I'm a
gross boy. I do gross boy things like like
I, I want to turn inside out. I want to do insane sexual
stuff. I do a bunch of body mods, like
we'll just split tongue and everything.
And like I do gross things. That makes me happy.
(26:24):
Yeah, I do too. And that's what I feel.
I'm like, I just like gross boy sex.
Like we don't worry about. I mean, I like man smell.
I like, you know, just. Yes, please.
Being a gross boy. And so that's just how I
describe my my sexualities. I just like gross boy stuff.
As I say, it's like, I just likereally gross boy stuff.
So yeah, no, it's funny. I'm glad that that resonated
with you because it's it was, I remember you commented on it.
(26:46):
It was right away. It was, it was, it was cute.
So we're going to get to the prolapsing stuff again in a
minute. There's a bunch of questions I
want to ask about that. But what was your entry point
into content creation? And like, what drew you to start
filming more stuff recently? Because I know in the beginning
I feel it was like a couple of like videos where you weren't
showing your face. And then it just seems lately,
like I see like tons of videos of you on the Internet and it's
super odd. I mean, yeah.
(27:07):
So I in terms of like like I never, I guess, like I the the
identity of like content creation and content creator is
like super new to me. I hadn't like historically
thought of myself as that. I guess.
Like to be honest, I I I can't really explain it because it was
like X2 was when I first starteddoing this.
And so there's like the one where I was like looking up to
me's place and I was getting gang banged and then like a
bunch of ones where I was like ripping my ass up with like my
(27:27):
like old boyfriend Dick dildo. Oh, I remember.
Those I remember. Those two, yeah I was actually,
it was like super random, but I was like post breakup in Iceland
and I like had like 4 days therewhere it was like dark all the
time because it was a winter solstice and I was, it's like I
bought enough weed. I'm just going to like RIP my
hole open for the entire week there and like post those videos
and like I, it's kind of hard toexplain.
Never really thought about like why I did it.
(27:48):
I guess I just, I wanted it out there and I wanted people to see
that this was a thing and that like it was fun and I, I didn't
think people were going to like it.
I literally was like, OK, I'm going to do this like no one's
going to want to see this. It's fucking weird.
And then like it just grew and grew and grew over time on X
tube and then other platforms. And then I hey, more and more
(28:09):
comfortable doing it. At first I would hide everything
beyond my whole. Then I would put a fucking emoji
on my head and be like, okay, you can kind of see that even
you can see my fucking DC tattoo.
And then by the end I was like, I don't give a fuck.
I just put my face out there andI like it, but I think I don't
see a division. Was our was our video one of the
first times you showed your face?
I think actually, yeah, that wasactually, I think actually it
(28:32):
has to have been because I literally was on a road trip
with my boyfriend at the time. And the first stop on the trip,
we hit our faces when I posted that fucking photo from Island
House and then at yours, I was like, I don't know the fuck,
like just do it. And after that, like it was my
face and my fucking crotch and butt hole everywhere.
And I kind of love it. Like I, I wouldn't, I, I post
(28:53):
more and more. I guess I just, I, I kind of
like showing it off. I'd become like a huge
exhibitionist. Like before I was like kind of
ashamed of my body. I didn't like it.
I again, like, it was like, it was what it was and it wasn't
great. And then I started loving it and
now I'm like a huge fucking exhibitionist and like, I like,
I'm wearing more clothes than I normally ever do in my house.
I'm like naked all the time. I love it.
I'm like, I'm Naked from the waist down.
(29:16):
I do almost all these episodes of my pants off but I just like
throw a shirt on and just go roll with it.
But. Nice.
I love your facial responses. You're very reactive when you're
playing. It's it's super and you kind of
I like the the little bit of herbal you been doing with the
camera lately. Is that my is that is it coming
out? It's it's so it's so hot to me.
So thanks, you sent me the most adorable video showing me your
(29:38):
prolapse progress. So can you walk us through the
prolapse journey since you started last year?
And like, what did you do or what changes have you noticed?
Yeah, so I think like, I honestly, like I actually, I
think you were, you were the first person that I saw with the
prolapse. And like that was another like
core memory where I was just like, that is the hottest
fucking thing. Like it's just so beautiful.
And something about like being anullo but popping something out
(30:00):
of me and being able to like my goal one day is like pop a tail
out and Jack off until I come onto the tail.
Like that's the like, that's theI'm going to be like, I didn't
like I could die now, but I always I always wanted one and
like I, my, my thoughts at the time were like, it's not like
you're kind of born with it or you know, or you like how that
are you dumped? It's like great.
It's genetics, it's your ligaments, it's your college
information. It is what it is and like it is
(30:21):
what it is. And so I always was playing
harder and harder and didn't really like I had like a great
rosebud but didn't see anything.And then I I'm talking with a
friend, I think Wilson fist online and he was like, no,
like, yes, he's so sweet. And he was like, hey, like, like
it actually is a thing. He sent me photos of like, Hey,
here's people I know who developed it over time, Like
here's before, here's the after,like it's possible.
(30:43):
And so I was like, you know what, Okay, I, I still actually
don't think it's gonna work for me because like it's still, it
is what it is, but like, sure, I'll try it.
And so a lot of that was one just like massive, deep, like
deep, massive play was the thing.
And literally like this guy, thechance XL that was actually like
the changing point. I remember the first time a
friend brought his over and justlike I was afraid when it popped
(31:05):
past my second ring that it likeperched me, nothing at all.
It was fine. But then like cut to him like
railing me as deep and fast as he could for like 30 minutes.
And like everything started folding differently inside of me
and I was like, oh, like, that'sa thing.
And the other thing was the fucking ass hammer.
If you ever see it, it's 2 metalballs on like a metal rod.
And if you push it up inside of yourself and push like your
(31:26):
guts, it will grab onto your guts And as you pull it
literally drags your guts through you and like pulls it
out, which feels amazing. And just like over time I was
like OK, like maybe it's workingmaybe it's not but like I still
don't think it's going to happen.
And then randomly I was getting like intensely played with with,
with Wilson fist. And at the end of the weekend I
was like, I have to like pee andI was pushing and I felt this
(31:49):
weird fucking like pop inside ofme.
And I was like, Oh, is that good?
Is that bad? And like I started popping more
and more and it feels really good.
And then over the past couple weeks I was like, I'm like
popping all the time now and like I'm pushing when I'm
popping. And I literally like looked
down. I was like, what the fuck?
Like, what the fuck? And I just like pulled my like
(32:09):
rows apart. And then I pushed again and like
all this stuff came out and I was like, holy fuck, like,
right. And I was like, oh, shit.
And so I was like, this, this could happen.
And like, I've seen over the past last couple years, I mean,
what is that? Like, fisting is the new bare
backing, prolapsing is the new fisting.
Like, everyone was doing it. I was seeing all these folks on
Twitter pull, like, pull it off.And I was like, OK, look, I
let's see where this look like goes.
(32:30):
You know, it hasn't like, pops fully out of my hole, but I'm
like, OK, there's a legitimate tail inside of me.
Yeah. And like, the more I push the
tail out, the better it feels. I'm totally playing with the
tail. Oh my God.
Dude I used to jerk mine off allthe time.
It's so fucking hot I could takeliterally both hands and jerk it
off but like. Like you're making me so Hardy.
But like I will say it's funny because like I didn't appreciate
(32:52):
that. Like the nerves deeper inside of
you are very different than likethe ones around your hole.
So like it's not pressure touch sensitive, but like if I play
with the end of my like tail, itstill feels really good.
It's like a weird, I can't explain it but like it's fucking
addictive man. Because there are, there are no
nerve endings there. That's why a lot of times when
people get perforated, they don't feel it because there's no
(33:12):
nerves there to, to feel it. You feel a change in the
pressure in your body because there's and so that's why it's
like sucks will feel good on it,but but like necessarily
touching because some guys will be when I used to be able to
prolapse a really big I would they'd be playing with it and I
couldn't even really necessarilyfeel it or they would lick it
and I couldn't feel it and I'd be like, OK, like, yeah, it's
cool visual, but I can't really feel it.
(33:32):
But then they would start actually blowing it and I'd be
like, OK, now I can feel that, that that feels amazing.
So it's really cool, it's reallyexciting for you, and I'm
totally play like the Pokémon evolution sound when.
He evolved. It's crazy, right?
I was traded with a horse cock and now all of a sudden it's
(33:54):
working. Exactly.
It's like a rare candy. Do you think now that anybody
can develop a prolapse or do youor do you think that it's still
tied to genetics and the training versus practice?
Yeah. So I think when I first started
this, I was like, it is or it isn't, You just gotta fucking
deal with it. And now I think it's probably
more of a spectrum. I think there is a variance in
terms of how easy or hard it is for you to do that.
(34:15):
I think also I saw your interview with shit, who's the
British guy? The British guy who can
prolapse. He's like super sexy.
Yeah, yes. So OK, I listened to that.
And he was like, yeah, there's like a class of folks were like,
it just pops out all the time. But I think for a lot of other
folks, like there's work that you can do to start to like
break down the ligaments inside your colon and to like stretch
things out and open it. And like the more work you do,
(34:36):
the easier it's going to be. And like if you're super, super
not prone to it, it's going to take a lot of work.
If you're super prone to it, it's going to take less.
But like it's a bit of like an inverse kind of like kind of
curve. And I think like I think a lot
of people can make more progressthan they think it just, I mean,
Wilson has said that to me. He's like, it just takes work.
Like, yeah, you got to do it allthe time.
And like I get it. And if it takes daily 200 push
(34:59):
outs and all this stuff for years, I'm just going to enjoy
that. I think the next step is like
getting a fucking penis pump andlike pushing it inside and
starting to grab the tail and pull it out.
So that's the that's the next thing that'll happen.
I'm going to have AI have one coming in a couple days.
So we'll see how that goes. Amazing.
I have AT jar canister that I used to use on mine, so it's
like. I saw those videos.
Those are so good. It was so good.
(35:20):
I used to love doing that, the quote there.
The other thing I was going to say too, I feel as long as
you're doing it safely and and slowly over time, I think that's
the important thing with prolapsing is because if you
rush it, a lot of guys they feelare rushing to get to to, to to,
I don't know, really big sizes. And so that's when you're more
likely to hurt yourself If you're training at the muscle
over time, I feel it's a lot safer than if the guys that are.
(35:43):
The message I'm trying to get across right now is just to take
your time is in general. Yeah, everybody should just kind
of, it's going to, you know, it'll happen eventually one day,
you know, but just kind of chillwith not overdoing it so much so
you don't want to be back pumping yourself to the point of
bleeding and stuff like that. Yeah.
So just the general messaging isthat I take your time with it
and be careful, be safe and insane.
(36:03):
And when you're doing it, what are your long term goals with
your prolapse? Do you have any concerns or
anything you're worried about? I mean, this is where like I'm
going to be meant to being like a gross boy.
Like I'm fucking into it. Like I like, I mean, you were
like, oh shit. Like it's really hard to go to
the bathroom if I'm like not at home with like a bidet or the
supplies. And I like that kind of turns me
on. Actually.
I, I was fucking admit it, like I could be like 80 years old.
(36:25):
I was like a fucking elderly nullo in a rest home with like a
massive lapse that falls out allthe time in a flat crotch.
And I'll be like, I'm going to be so turned on by that.
Like I fucking admit it. It is what it is in terms of
like goals. I, I have like a super
competitive mindset. Like like NBA corporate girl.
She will get like way too competitive.
So like I try not to be like, I have to do X.
I'm just like, I want to see where it goes.
(36:46):
I try not to compare myself to other people too much, but like
the bigger and longer the better.
I can't wait till she starts. It's like popping out of my hole
fully. I just, I finally hit the point
where I was like I was walking around a few days ago with like
it kind of pushed out between mybutt cheeks and I was just like,
it felt like this big slimy ball, like just tickling my butt
cheeks and I was like, Oh my fucking God, this is good.
(37:07):
Literally. Fuck I do chores that out
something. Yes, I just.
Like walk in my house that out, it turns me on.
I'm just, and I also am turned on by the idea.
I mean like loss of body function due to extreme
analysis. Like it's kind of like a weird
turn on for me, but it's I I totally get it.
That's something that's developed over time.
If you would have told me 10 years ago, I would have been
turned on by that. I've been like, no, I don't
(37:28):
think so, but but it's definitely here we are exactly
as I'm getting older, my sexual kinks are getting weirder.
It's like it's, it's exactly So what?
So what role does prolapsing play in your overall identity
and pleasure now? Because it becoming like a
bigger focus. Yeah, so I think like, I mean,
it's still super new. I think I've posted that video
like 2 weeks ago, 2 1/2 weeks ago.
(37:49):
So like, I mean super early stage.
I will say 1. It's a really fun experience
just to push and like feel you, you like you're the toy.
Like I, it's fucking crazy. And like I, I make the dildo and
I am the dildo inside of myself and I just like, I realized
afterwards I could just like popit back and forth past my first
(38:09):
ring and that feels fucking great in terms of like identity.
I mean, I, I, like I said something about being a dullo,
but also being able to pop something phallic out whenever I
want to just really speaks to me.
Like I really love the idea thatlike I'm flat when I want to be
and then like if I want someone to, like if you want something
to play with and you're like a fucking bottom at heart, you can
play with this tail. I can pop it out.
(38:30):
So I think I'm just going to seewhere it goes.
This is like so early and honestly so unexpected.
I kept practicing, but I was like, I don't think I'm one of
those people. So like, it is what it is.
And now I'm like 2 1/2 weeks into like, whatever the opposite
of the five stages of grief is like the like 5 stages of like,
holy shit, it's joy. No ask me in like 5 years and I
was gonna say. One day, one day I'll do like
(38:50):
this kind of segues. I mean sort of, but I mean I'll
get a bunch of prolapsers on here together. 5 there's.
Got to be a pun for the round table or something.
You have to be a round table option.
So it's that would be super fun to just get me just talk about
our experiences because it's that's there's a very specific
set of experiences that are specific to people that can
prolapse. And so it's, I think that would
be a really fun conversation to have.
(39:11):
So as somebody who's listened tothe show before, how does it
feel stepping into the role of guests on Prolapse?
I mean kind of fucking great. Like literally, I mean, like,
like, I don't want to sound corny or something, but I'm like
really honored. Like, like you bring on all
these crazy amazing people who also were like part of formative
things of media that I watched that are like fucking crazy.
And I'm just like, Oh my God, you have like all these like
(39:32):
kink legends on the show and like the fact that you're even
like, Oh yeah, I'd love to have you on.
I was like, fucking shit, dude, that's crazy.
You're. A kink legend yourself.
Starting to appreciate that likewe did a, like I did a mellow
meet up with some friends at Folsom a few years ago and like
it just blew my mind that there were all these guys who were
like, Oh yeah, yeah, that X2 video, That's where I found out
about this. And I was like, holy fucking
(39:52):
shit. Like I have all these kids now.
I have like all these like it's actually like a multi level
marketing scheme. Like, like I've sold my thing to
everybody else. Now I get a cut, no pun
intended, to like the second way.
And so like we're going to go with that now.
That's amazing. The whole point of the show,
really, it was a little bit selfish in the in the beginning
when I started because I had gotten really bad.
What is the rest right? We're not agoraphobia.
Yeah, just social anxiety about where I fit in the fisting
(40:14):
community anymore. Yeah, it was.
You know, when I, when I saw youin Mexico, for example, I mean,
I was, I was retreating and kindof recoiling into myself and not
really sure where I fit anymore.And so this was kind of, you
know what? No, I want to, I still want to
be a part of it. I still want to talk to people.
And this is kind of my selfish way of kind of force forcing
myself back out of my shell is getting to reconnect, reconnect
with people that I, you know, haven't connected with in a long
(40:36):
time or reconnect with or connect, reconnect with people
that, or connect with people that I have never met before and
just kind of get back out there.So, and I'm glad that it's
resonating because it in the beginning, it's morphed into
something different. But it's, I am just trying to
kind of show everybody has a story and we're all fucking
interesting. All these people that are doing
content or that are personalities on Twitter and X
(40:57):
just what you see is necessarilynecessarily all that you don't
necessarily see everything aboutthem.
So it's I'm trying to kind of humanize us and show people that
we are interesting outside of our Twitter profiles or outside
of our X profiles. And so I'm just really grateful
that you were willing to come on.
So if there is one thing that you I wish that people
understood better about being a nullo, or just maybe even about
prolapsing, what would it be? Honestly, for like the nullo
(41:17):
thing, I would just say like it.I think I said it before, but I
want to reiterate it Like it doesn't have to be scary.
It doesn't have to be like this crazy dark thing.
And like it's simultaneously themost amazing crazy thing that's
ever happened to me. But it's also like just my life.
Like I wake up, I'm a flat nullo.
I'm happy, I live my life, I work my job, I have friends, I
just, I am a nullo and I'm happyand it's fun and it's uplifting
(41:39):
and it's positive. And like if you've been
thinking, got it or like you're like, Oh my God, I've wanted
this forever and I'm afraid of it.
Like what's my life going to be like?
Like your life's probably going to be exactly like what it was
before, just a lot happier. And like if you really want to
go for it. I did this because like I
thought in the back of my mind, I was like, well, great, I could
not do this. And I could be like 80 years old
and about to die and be like, well, you never try the thing
(41:59):
that you really wanted to experience.
Or I could do it and do it And like that is the best gift that
28 year old me ever gave me. And I get to open that gift and
experience it for the rest of mylife.
Give yourself that gift. Like if you really want it.
Your body. You are like the salesman for
this. You are the.
First tip. Exactly where can people find
(42:20):
more about you on the Internet and where should what should
they be watching out for next? They could plug your social
media handles and stuff. Like that yeah, definitely.
So I'm verse ask punk everywhere.
So like I'm I'm not going to sayacts Twitter and Blue Sky are
the 2 main places, but I'm on like I have a blink tree on both
of those and they also link to an FAQ.
So if you've got questions on that, like take a look at the
FAQ, I am happy to answer any questions not on there.
(42:41):
Like don't like don't feel afraid to like ask me or ping
me. I'll get to it and I will
eventually answer you on that. In terms of what's coming next,
Like I just want to give birth to this guy.
Like I'm forced somebody just dilated and I have like a
fucking like probably like a four year labor ahead of me, but
like he's crowning and we're going to pop this guy out.
So like watch me give birth to my new friends.
Like that's basically what we'reat.
(43:02):
That's amazing and I am very excited to see what happens with
it. Yeah.
First, Ask Punk, thank you so much for coming on the show.
I'm very grateful for your time and for just coming on and being
so candid and open and like letting me ask questions that I
wasn't sure if we're appropriateor not.
So I really sincerely appreciateit.
And you guys, if you guys are enjoying the show, we are on
Apple, Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube.
(43:22):
Early video access to the episodes goes live as soon as
I'm done editing them on Spotify.
And then Friday nights at 8:00 PM on hungerff.com.
And just for fans, slash Hunger FF audios available across all
platforms for free on Friday nights at 8:00 PM.
It'll also be available on whatever.
I'll give you a copy so you can post it on whatever hand, you
know, whatever places you're on.And then, yeah, thank you again.
(43:44):
And this has been another episode of Roll Ups and we'll
see you guys again next week. Have a good night.
Thanks. Bye.
Thanks for going deep with me onHunger FF Presents Roll Ups.
If you're loving the ride, hit subscribe, drop a review and
share the fisting love. Follow me on social media at
Hunger FF for unfiltered updatesand exclusive content.
But until next time, keep it raw, real, and always hungry.
I'll see you on the next episode.
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