Episode 67: Brolapse Holiday Special: Boxing Day Role Reversal (Hosted by Dolan Wolf)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Broil Apps, the fisting podcast that goes deep
explore my life, views and raw, unfiltered conversations with
the creators that are redefiningkink connection in the fisting
community. Guys, welcome back for another
episode of Brolap, since today is the very first special
holiday special and I'm bringingin a former guest who's now

(00:20):
going to be playing host role with me.
Dolan Wolf is back on the show today.
Welcome back to Brolapse. Hello, thank you.
Yeah, of course. So this idea actually came about
when we were filming our last episode and you had mentioned to
me. Can you explain kind of the
tradition to me that you that inspired this episode?
Yeah. So in the UK, the day after
Christmas is called Boxing Day. And that was the play when the

(00:42):
wealthy would invite the poor todinner.
And I think the the term Boxing Day refers to the to putting
gifts in boxes for the poor. OK.
But essentially there there was a spirit of role reversal.
I mean, I heard, I heard someoneonce talking about that there
being a tradition of specifically the, the, you know,

(01:05):
the household waiting on the servants.
Now, I don't know if that's trueexactly, but that's that's what
inspired the idea of reversing roles for Christmas, the youth
so that you could be in the hot seat.
I've put 66 people in the hot seat so far.
So like, I guess it's only fair that if the roles get reversed
eventually. Yeah.

(01:25):
And the great thing about this, timing wise is that it we're
filming it and it's lining up sothat this will actually be the
Christmas episode. So it's kind of perfect.
It was perfect timing, perfect timing.
So I'm a little nervous. I didn't over.
I was going to say because I, I am, I am more excited and less
nervous doing this, which is something and it's something I

(01:46):
did, you know, a good few times I was part of this.
I'm just another match discussing so I've wondered how
it feels to to switch wrongs at this.
Point, I mean, being the interviewer is kind of easy.
I mean you just ask the questions, but then you know, so
yeah, I guess I didn't like I said, I didn't try to over
prepare any answers or anything like that because I'm much
better when I just kind of, I'm off the cuff.

(02:07):
So I breezed through them and I'm like, OK, everything looks
good. So, so I'm yeah, I'm excited to
do this. It's.
And what I like about it is thatthey're questions that I have
not been, they're not typical questions that I'm normally
asked about my prolapse or about, you know, most extreme
fisting things I've done. They're they're, they're,
they're, they're different than that.
So that's what I really. Appreciate.

(02:28):
Yeah, that's what I wanted to do.
I wanted to, you know, make thisa new experience for you and
people listening. Cool.
Well, let's go ahead and get started.
I'm nervous. So it's a warm up, nice easy one
in the holiday tradition. What are your favorite things
about holiday season and what doyou dislike?
OK, so my favorite things about the holiday season, I mean, like

(02:48):
I just like being around my friends and my family.
Like more like I'm around my friends and my family quite a
bit already as it is. But it's a it's a different vibe
during the holiday season, I guess.
And so I've never really been like a huge holiday junkie.
Like I'm not really like a decorator.
Like I'm not really, I'm my love.
Like, you know, the love, love languages, like gift giving is
one of them. And I'm not really necessarily

(03:10):
that's not really like my my love language or like I'm not
really the best at picking out gifts for people, but just, I
guess mostly just the connectionand like being around the people
that I care about and seeing how, you know, like my
grandmother gets so excited about the holiday.
I'm really tight with my grandma.
So she gets really, really excited about the holiday
season. And I'll say that like my least

(03:30):
favorite thing about the holidays is probably the
decorating. Like I'm not like I'm not huge
holiday decorator and my a lot of my friends think it's kind of
weird. It's like I grew up, my family
actually owned Christmas stores when I was when I was a kid.
My grandmother actually owned. Yeah.
So I mean, I don't know if thought the, the decorating was
just sort of over ingrained in me as a kid, but I'm sort of a

(03:53):
little bit like the idea of putting everything up and then
taking everything down is just kind of not my, I'm not the
biggest Christmas decorator, butI like the cheating stuff like
like the holiday sweaters and stuff like that.
I mean the, the tacky, you know,it's just like what I'm wearing
right now. For those of you guys who are
listening, I have one, of course, Christmas, what around
that says it's Christmas, bitches.
And so I just have a good time. I mean, you know, I'm not a huge

(04:15):
holiday junkie, but I do like the community aspect of it and
just being. I mean, part of the reason why I
asked is, you know, thinking about my own experience.
I, I've worked in a PR company for a few months, absolutely
awful. It really, I mean, everybody's
got a pretty vague sense or, or,you know, general sense that

(04:35):
Christmas is commercialized, right.
But when you work for PR, but when you work for PR or
marketing company, you really understand how Christmas is
primarily a marketing event, right?
For well, and and on that point,having always quite enjoyed
Christmas became and at the timeI I was particularly stint, you
know, sort sort of money and most of that that wait times

(04:58):
later, Margaret. And so I really resented the,
the ways in which Christmas demanded that I spend more money
on presents and, and all right. And I, I found my compromise
because because I had to, because whether you like it or
not, this fucking holiday comes around every year.
Yeah, and it's expensive holiday.
Right, right. So you might as well sit down,

(05:21):
identify the things that you like and don't like, take the
things that you do, right. So I love the food.
I love, I like the lights, I like the Twinkie lights.
But I'm kind of with you. I, I don't want to have 15
storage boxes filled with Christmas decorations that I
have to store somewhere and you know, exactly.
But I do like the decorations. I do.
I do like going out to the into the world and seeing, seeing the

(05:42):
world festooned in, you know, inChristmas and things.
But yeah, like I said, it came from a place of understanding
that Christmas works when you take the stuff that works for
you and leave the restaurant. That's great.
That's a really good way of thinking about.
I mean, I just, you know, I doing like the villages like I 1
I had an ex-boyfriend that let me be in charge of creating
Christmas village with all the houses and the people and stuff

(06:03):
like that. That's more my Forte.
But like outdoor decorations andstuff like that.
They, they just, they seem so extreme.
You drive around and it's just like the houses they took a
competition amongst the neighbors.
It's less about. Yeah, and and you know what?
For people that love that, knockyourselves out.
My husband, my husband is like that.

(06:24):
He likes to decorate his whole house.
He's got the inflatables and thelights and everything all over
the place. So.
And what do you say to holiday foods?
My favorite holiday foods I love.
Like, I mean like Thanksgiving dinner, generally speaking.
Like that whole kind of Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing.
I'm a big, I love stuffing. Ironically, there's a joke.
I really love stuffing. You know, I'm a foodie.

(06:45):
I eat like, you know, I'm not, I'm not one of those guys that
watches what they eat so intensely that they can't enjoy
every different kind of food. So I mean.
Like, it sounds like you're, you're like me.
You're lucky enough to have a metabolism where you don't
really have to. Exactly.
Yeah. I mean, like I'll, I mean, I
will say I've gained since I haven't been able to go to the
gym since my accident. I haven't, I've gained a little
bit of weight, but I don't hate my body.

(07:06):
I'll eat what I want and it's, you know, it is what it is.
So it comes with the territory of the holiday.
I guess that's what New Year's resolutions are for.
So last holiday themed question,if you could get anything you
wanted for Christmas this year, what would it be?
Oh man, maybe I didn't read thatquestion ahead of time.

(07:28):
I could get anything I want. Hey, I'm the type of person that
is really hard to, to, to buy presents for because I generally
speaking have like, you know, I have everything I need or
everything. Yeah, I've got, if I've got, if
I wanted it, I've, I've gotten it for myself.
If I can get anything this year for Christmas, it would be shit.

(07:49):
You know what I mean? I'm such like, I'm going to, I'm
going to go just straight up collectible wise.
Because this is one thing I mean, a lot of people doesn't
necessarily don't know about me is that I collect these, these
sideshow statues. OK, sorry what was the what
statue? They're called Sideshow.
Sideshow statue. Side show collectible statues.
They're like these big quarter scale maquettes basically of

(08:12):
different superheroes. And so there's some really,
there's a really cool new Loki statue that just came out that's
like already sold out. That's like, I mean it's
amazing. He's like on a throne and he's
sitting there with like kind of like cocky, like over the
throne. It's like $1500.
It's so expensive, but it's it'sthey're not cheap.
So the low key I I passed on it when it first came out, but it's

(08:35):
the more I look at it, the more I'm like, man, like I wish I
would have added that to my question.
I've got so many of these things, but they make me happy.
It's like the superhero statues,LED lighting and all of my Dicks
and butt artwork everywhere thatthat would those, those are the
things that make me happy. But I guess, you know, yeah, I
mean, and just like being aroundif I can have, you know, it's

(08:56):
tied back into community and like just my family and friends,
it's like I just like if I couldget all of my friends together
in one spot, that would be, thatmeans more to me than like
anything monetarily, you know what I mean?
I think, I think you know, if anyone watching happens to have
ridiculous amounts of money, then no one to give.
Throw me the sideshows, low key statues or or just banging

(09:16):
holiday feasting party would be amazing too so.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So as you know, the nature of being an adult performer on
social media is it whether you mean to or not, you give the
impression you're having sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
I know. Which may be to you if you are
young and exceptionally horny, but even if you do have the

(09:39):
energy for that, everyone has toeat and do their laundry.
So with that in mind, what is a completely non sexual day in the
life of 100 FF look like? Completely non sexual day is
there. Such a.
Thing they do happen, they do happen.
So my typical work week looks like there's really not a lot of
I mean, I'll film maybe like once or twice a week.

(10:01):
And then my method has always been to divide it into the
halves or thirds or whatever so I get more content out of a
single session so I don't have to film all the time.
So I. Different people seem to have
very different approaches to this.
How much of it is based on strategy and how much of it is

(10:22):
based on it's just what they happen to decide to do?
But it seems to me like, you know, if someone wants to, if
the purpose is to get off right,does the video does, is it
helpful if the video is more than 10 minutes or is it less
thoughtful? Yeah, I know.
And it's a it's a fine line thatyou have to walk.
And so I found the sweet spot tobe 8 to 12 minutes is generally

(10:46):
my sweet spot for videos. And and that's because it's long
enough that it still feels like a complete video, but short
enough that I am not having to fuck and fist five times a week
to create enough content to to put out there.
And so I feel, I think, I think as hunger FFI filmed something
like 800 videos at this point. And so seven or six, 650 years,

(11:06):
which have been released alreadyand there's a bunch in the bank
typically, I mean, I wake up late, I'm a late riser.
I get up usually around like 11 or 12.
I spend normally I spend some time on my, I take care of my
grandmothers. So I spend time with her in the
early afternoon and then I do doa lot of like, I'm really a
creative at heart. So I'm always trying to think of

(11:27):
like, especially now with the accident, I'm trying to think of
new ways to create content or create, do something fun that's
still me that doesn't necessarily currently involve my
butthole. Yeah.
So I've been it's a lot of it. A lot, a lot of my day revolves
around social media and my dog. I take, you know, I mean, my, my
dog is my life. So I spend a lot of time with

(11:47):
him and he's like usually attached to my hip.
He's but he's been bad during interviews lately.
He's been crying and whining, sohe's out in the living room for
right now. But he knows the attention is
not on him. Yeah.
And then my, my house tends to also be a little bit like Grand
Central Station. Like I have a couple of really
close friends that seem to just my house that seems to be like a
little bit of a hub. So like my friends come over and

(12:08):
they just hang out, you know, we'll hang out and just chill
with me while I work. And I work better when I'm, I
have somebody else here with me,I don't stay.
So even if they're just sitting here with me, wow, sometimes
seems a little boring for them, but they'll be, they'll just be
doing their own thing. And I'm editing porn or editing
the podcast. And so Mondays and Thursdays are
my days that they update the website.

(12:31):
And so those days I typically amediting a video, doing the
teaser, doing the the photo gallery and uploading it and
then doing all of the social media promo for it.
And then Fridays, I typically amediting the podcast and then
also doing all the promo for it.And I've really just been
spending a lot of time lately atleast brainstorming new ideas

(12:51):
for next year, which we'll get into later on and I guess we'll
get into later on. But I am, I'm really, I'm a
visual person. So I did the mood board like a
like a idea board about what I wanted.
Yeah, yeah. So I'm, and I do want every year
at the end of the year to kind of map out what I hope to
accomplish during the next year.And so I'm not a big gym goer.

(13:11):
I mean, I can't go to the gym right now.
So normally I normally my the day would involve some some gym
time, but I'm currently limited on that.
So no gym time for me right now.But and you're just interacting
with people on the Internet. I mean, I've got I do all of my
own customer service, I do all of my own coding and stuff for
the website. All of that is done by me.
So it's like all A1 non-stop shop basically.

(13:34):
So it is a full time job to takecare of all of that stuff.
So and then I eat. I mean, like I, you know, I eat
throughout the day and then I goto bed later than I probably
should. But I'm also a big Marvel
junkie, so I almost always fall asleep.
This is kind of a weird fact. Did you watch one Division?
I loved one division. I mean, let me, let me, let me,

(13:54):
let me explain. I don't know if this is
necessarily one, but I love one division so much that it's one
of the reasons why, like Doctor Strange in the multiverse of
Vadnais or whatever that film was called, set me because
because to have gone through that story, to take a wander
through that story and ended with one of the best lines ever

(14:15):
in TB and film. What's this grief?
Hang on as we go. What is?
If not, love persevering. Not love persevering.
I mean, fuck me that that whole scene and that line just and
then and then to just the depth wasn't there, but the journey
from where where we left her at the end of that to where we
found her in in Doctor Fish justdidn't just didn't.

(14:38):
Quite make sense, I know. But if you agree, yeah, Wanda
Vision is my favorite show of all time and I can recite it
pretty much from start to finish.
So I, I, I weirdly go to bed watch watching Wanda Vision
almost every night. I'm like, it's what I put on my
TV when I'm ready to go to bed at night.
Is Wanda Vision usually the finale?

(14:58):
I just love the finale so much and that line always gets me
too. And then the shot of her just
like holding where she was kissing him and him gone and she
just puts her hands down. Oh, I wouldn't.
And my other line, I'm feeling myself getting getting fed up
thinking about it. We we have said goodbye before.

(15:20):
So who's to say we won't say hello again?
Recycle OK. Yeah, it's so good.
Yeah. Yeah, I've been a what is it?
I've been a a voice with no body, a body but with no soul or
something like that. And you know, something,
something else. Who's to say what?
I'll be next. And so that's, you know, what's
funny is that I can feel the hairs on my my beard getting

(15:42):
goosebumps like is, yeah, you can even, I don't know it's
funny. But yeah, that's that's my
favorite show of all time. And it's based on one of my
favorite comic book series of all time, which is House House
Event. And so yeah.
So I fall asleep watching Wanda Vision a good 6070% of the time.
So, yeah, so that's a funny thing.
So that's kind of a non sexual day for me.

(16:02):
I mean, it still revolves a lot around sex, but it's not sexual.
Yeah, well. Yeah, I even if you're editing
it's. Yeah, yeah, occasionally I get
turned. On watching my own stuff and
I'll have to jerk off while I'm watching it, which is sure.
No, no, I get that. There's also I find that, you
know, that does happen, but all too often I'm under too much

(16:22):
pressure to stop and and smell the roses or enjoy the rosebuds
or whatever. You mean as far as like timing
goes? Like, yeah.
I just got so much on my plate, it's like I cannot stop to
really stay with this. But yeah, I was a little.
I will say, just wrapping up thewand division thing, I was kind
of upset. I mean, I was upset to see her

(16:43):
go. The heel turn so fast was very
abrupt. It felt like there should have
been another movie in between ornot something else to to bridge
this one way to trigger. That yeah, yeah, something to.
Bridge the gap between Wanda Vision and, and, and, and Doctor
Strange shoe. And I guess I don't know if you
read this or not, but there was a, there was a version of the

(17:04):
of, of wander of Doctor Strange shoe where she actually
accidentally kills Wong. And that's what sets her into
like the villain mode is that her accidentally killing Wong
like is like what pushes her over the edge.
And so there was there was a version of the script where she
accidentally kills Wong, like decapitates him or something
crazy like that. And that's what sends her into
the, into the villain mode. But that ended up being scrapped

(17:24):
because they had so much time during COVID to rework the
script that they, they went withwhat we got.
Yeah, randomly. I know too much about Wanda
Vision. I'm so excited for Vision Quest.
I can't wait, so I'm not. I'm not up to speed.
Almost on the horizon Vision quest.
Vision Quest is the third part of the Wanda Vision trilogy.
So. Yeah, so Vision Quest, we're

(17:45):
going to get Tommy and Tommy's already been cast and they
they're bringing in, it's going to be Ultrons coming back.
And so it's it sounds really cool.
Sounds really cool. Yeah, yeah.
OK, so a little bit. Related to that last question,
how good are you making space inyour life that is completely
free from sex so you don't burn out?

(18:07):
I'm better at. It today than I was in the past
in the past I was I remember being I used to only fuck when I
was filming. I remember there was a there was
a point in time where I was onlyfisting when I did it on camera
and because I had I had told myself that if I didn't do it
that way, then I was devaluing my brand.
I was not, you know, I was giving it away for free.

(18:30):
And that was, and that was a wayin my head, a very unhealthy way
of thinking about it. And then it then somewhere along
the line, fisting stopped becoming fun for me and it just
became a grind and it became something that I felt I had to
do just to survive. And, and I remembered thinking
to myself, I just love, I've always loved fisting so much as

(18:50):
a as just period that I needed to find a way to just do a
healthier work life balance. Yeah.
And so then I started fisting for fun again, like going to
fisting parties without my camera equipment or whatever,
getting invited to stuff. And then I have a much healthier
relationship with fisting today than I did back then because I

(19:11):
just have just the other day. I mean, like I play right now
with my injury, I pretty much always play with like a latex
top on or something like that. So that when I am filming or
even when I'm not filming, I don't have to, I don't have to
look at the bag. Like I don't have to look at it
and I don't have to feel insecure about it.
Just the other day I had this guy that came these two daddies

(19:31):
that I'm getting kind of closer with here.
They're like, listen, they're like, you don't you don't have
to wear that if you don't want to, like just come as you are.
And I was like, Are you sure he doesn't bother you?
They're like not at all. That was so liberating feeling
for me. Like it's a just not have to be
hiding any part of myself. Oh my God, I just was, I was so
relaxed. I was just this is so nice

(19:53):
because I, you know, I like to pretend outwardly that it
doesn't really affect me or doesn't bother me, but I am a
little insecure about it. So I don't want to have to.
It doesn't make me feel sexy. That's you know, so, but then
when they gave me permission to kind of just be myself, it was
really cathartic. It was like hard to explain how
it how it made me feel, but I just got in my feels afterwards
and I was like I I. I you know, you can never know

(20:16):
exactly how someone else is feeling, but it isn't at all
half me to imagine how how much of A relief that that probably
was. And also, you know, you said,
forgive me if I get the exact word to that you've wrong, but
you said that you pretend that you're more OK with it and you
are. But maybe rather than it being a
potent both things are true. You know, you are OK with it

(20:37):
because you have to be, because it is what it is, right?
And you have other feelings about it that are, you know,
you'd rather I do not have it. Yeah, so I think I just, I think
it's more just that I don't wantto make, there's a part of me
that's a people pleaser and I don't want to make other people
uncomfortable, you know? I don't want to make other
people nervous or have to, you know, because it's not true.

(21:01):
I don't use the traditional colostomy bags.
I use like the ones that are like you can't, it's like
they're they're solid color. So you can't you know, it's just
like the the ones that they wantyou to use straight out of the
hospital are see through and it's like, who wants that on
you? Like that's like I don't want
that on me. So I luckily discovered that
they make solid color ones. So I was like OK, that's what I

(21:22):
use, but I still like develop. The the the technology to make
solid color ones I don't. Know, but I mean Scott.
Fetishes. Why would you continue to?
Why would you continue? To make this clear ones and the
clear ones are much the proud The problem is is that they're
much cheaper than the the the solid color ones like the clear

(21:42):
ones are just so the insurance will pay for you to have so many
more of the clear ones than theywill if you get the solid color
1 so I. I mean, look, I, I could, I
could believe that they have a higher price has been put on
them or a lower price has been put on the clear ones.
You have a hard time persuading me that it's cheaper to make the
clear ones than it is the color ones.

(22:04):
Yeah. And they?
They don't tell you right out ofthe hospital.
I've had a couple of guys that have come to me and told me
they're like, oh, you know, thisis what I'm using.
And I'm like, no, you realize that they do make an alternative
to that. You just have to ask for it.
And I was lucky enough that in the very beginning when I went
to my colostomy orientation, which is a thing that they did
it for me at the hospital where I went, I went in and perused

(22:24):
the cattle. Yeah.
I got to go through the catalog and decide what I want to use.
I'm like, oh, I'm like, I want to use, use this one.
And they tried to dissuade me from it because of the expense.
And I was like, no, I don't, this is what I want.
And so I got it. But it's more like I just don't
want to make other people feel uncomfortable.
And so that's always kind of in the back of my head.
And so I, I just feel like I always wear a top over it.

(22:47):
But then when they gave me like I said, the permission to take
the top off and just be myself, it was so like I just felt so
relaxed and so much better in myown skin.
So that's that was I don't remember what where the where
the question what came from, butthat's that's a just a general
statement I'll make is that I I.I like these people, do what
they are. Yeah, they're.

(23:08):
Great. They're super great, good
people. Because nobody's.
I've been turned down because ofthe OSMI bag.
I've been turned down as a playmate, a potential hookup,
whatever. And, and, you know, I write
those people off and block them because I figure if that's the
type of person they are that that I don't want to play with
them anyways. It's it's been a journey.

(23:30):
No, I'm sure it's a long journey.
So far, and a longer one than far.
Longer than you. You should have been on the
healthcare system for that. Yeah, fuck the.
Hell yeah. Exactly.
Yeah. So you've recently written your
autobiography and we're still working on the publishing deal.
Yes. When we're allowed to to to say

(23:52):
that. Yeah, I can't say.
I mean, I'm working on. What I can say is that it's been
submitted to a publisher who is in the deliberation phase on it.
So yeah, what did you? Learn about yourself through the
process of writing and editing you.
Also, I mean. And I realize you could probably
spend hours answering that question so you know the

(24:13):
headlines. It was the.
Most cathartic experience of my life it helped me unpack like
doing research into my my own history and kind of coming to
terms with. I'd never really looked into
what it meant to be. I was born after a miscarriage.
So like I never under, I never knew that there was this

(24:35):
phenomenon called a rainbow baby, which is essentially a
baby that comes after the storm of a miscarriage.
And it's so and the expectationsthat are put on that child
subconsciously by their parents,which when I started
researching, like what it meant to be the child born after a
miscarriage, it put a lot of things in my life into context.

(24:56):
And it put a lot of things that I'd never really thought about
myself. Like why I am always trying to
overachieve and why I'm always trying to be the best at
everything. And I always have 1000 things
going on. It's like because there was this
unconscious pressure put on me to, to kind of fill the shoes of
this person that never was so. And that's an impossible task.

(25:17):
And so I learned a lot about myself.
I learned a lot about, I basically what my process was,
was to take a general kind of theme of something I'm dealing
with in my life. There was a, there's a couple of
story moments, but it's generally a lot of like thematic
elements. It's like, why do I feel that I
am undateable or unlovable? Why?
Why, why, why is my initial kindof thought that and then picking

(25:40):
that apart, like, where does that come from?
Like, why do I feel that? Why did that?
Why do I feel that way about myself?
And then in once I came to the end of that, I was able to kind
of determine, OK, I am dateable and I am lovable.
I'm just need to kind of work through shit to get to that
point. And so each different chapter of
the book is essentially an essayabout a different facet of my

(26:02):
personality or a different part of my life that I'm untangling
and unpacking. And so I learned a lot.
I learned a lot about, you know,how, for example, my dad and I
don't have a good relationship, but I feel like the way that I
navigate through life, even though I don't have a good
relationship with him, I kind ofinherited from him.
Like his? Ability to navigate through CD

(26:24):
underworld, the kind of like drug scenes or, you know, some
of that I think I inherited from, you know, and in terms of
being able to navigate the porn industry at a very young age,
you know, some of that I feel like I got from him and his
survival instincts and whatever.And so I just, I learned a lot
about myself and it was the mosttherapeutic thing I think I've

(26:48):
ever done for myself. And I've and I'm excited to
share it with the world. But at the same time, like if
nothing happens with it, I at least got the healing out of
getting it on paper and getting it out.
I was going to get, you know. My sufficient post me it was it
was just a question from from a therapist from a therapist.
Yeah, and, and, and then what end up happening was I had done
all these little short essays and then I put them into little

(27:10):
piles on my floor and I realizedI had like kind of a through
line through them that felt likean arc.
And so it starts with free fall and then it goes into vices and
then breaks drift and climb. And so it's kind of A5 part are
that goes from when I first started, you know, all the way

(27:30):
from being the rainbow baby to at the end kind of coming to
terms with my family and the choices I've made in my life and
how. Was the.
You know, I have shaped me over the years and a lot of that is
my history with drugs. A lot of that is my history with
porn and attention seeking, danger, thrill seeking and, and,

(27:53):
and what that means, how, why I am that way.
And, and I have some crazy stories along the way, some some
crazy, crazy things that I've gone through in my life and ways
that I've managed to escape, youknow, trouble through luck and
just basically my own. I don't know what I'm trying to
say, just that I've just been very, I've been very lucky

(28:13):
through life and so that I've always managed to land on my
feet. And so that was, that was the
big take away that I learned that I, I'm a survivor is what I
really kind of learned from it. So last question in relation to
that, based on what you've learned, there's one piece of
advice you could go back and give your younger self.

(28:35):
What would it be? What age would you be when when
you get it to yourself and wouldyou be able to create it?
I I. Would tell the younger version
of myself, because there's a part of the book where I talk
about how I went on stage at a talent show audition at my
elementary school and that I went out to perform and I got

(28:57):
stage fright and I froze solid. And I didn't sing like I was
supposed to. And I looked to my family for
support, you know, through the crowd and I did not get support.
I got you embarrassed me, you know, like you embarrassed us.
And So what I would and that formulated that that was

(29:18):
formative for me that you have to be on and do and succeed at
performing, you know, all the time.
And so if I could go back in time, I would tell myself at
that age that it it's OK to fuckup every once in a while.
Like your whole life does not need to be a performance.
And if you froze, you deserve compassion and not criticism.

(29:41):
And and not especially at 8 or 9years old when I was a little
kid when this happened to me. So I would go back and tell
myself that it was OK. You know that thing, You know
that this doesn't, this isn't everything.
You know what I mean? That you can come back from
this. I, I, I mean, I'm really sorry
that happened. You love that answer.

(30:05):
Wow. Thank you.
Yeah. It was just it was I just
remember I can I could you askedme to paint a picture of that
day. I could paint the walk up to the
I even remember the the cafeteria school tables on their
sides stacked up next to the door.
Like, it's so in my formative experiences, and I remember just
looking to my mom for support and not getting it and then like

(30:29):
punishment when I got home. And so that was like, it was
just really ingrained in my headthat I have to be a performer
and I have to be all the time. And that's an exhausting way to
live your entire life, yes. It is so, yeah.
That was, I think the beginning of when I felt the performative
aspect of my life kind of happened and and I would I would

(30:49):
go back and tell my younger selfthat it you don't have to
perform all the time, but everything is.
Yeah, being yourself, you can you.
Can you can take the Latex factor?
Yes you could. Take exactly and that's probably
where that comes that's probablyyou know that's rooted in that
it's like you know it's OK to not be perfect all the time and
so it's a lesson I'm still learning it's ridiculous how.

(31:10):
Clear and loud. The lessons, would you know
them? Are apparently.
I'll still need to learn that one, yeah.
Yeah, and I, it's just hard. It's, you know, I've been
through so much therapy and and honestly the most, the most
helpful thing I've ever done waswriting that book is I've
learned more about myself through that than any amount of
therapy I've done. And I think.

(31:32):
To to use that as an example, where you learn isn't by simply
bashing yourself overhead with the with the truth that it's OK.
The way you learn, the way you, the way you that becomes
embodied, I think is you seek out the opportunities that
you've you've now had where you can practice it and you can take
the top off. And then the more you practice

(31:54):
it, I don't know if it ever getsentirely comfortable, but I
think it gets more and more comfortable.
Yeah, more. Yeah, definitely.
I also, I mean, yeah, it's that feeling that I got when I could
just be myself was, you know, there's no other, there's no way
to describe really how that mademe feel in that moment, how
grateful I was for that moment. So I don't, you know, if I

(32:15):
could, if I could just retrain my brain to enjoy those meal or
to be OK like that all the time,that would be that's a work in
progress. That's what, yeah.
No, it's like telling, but I think practice, you know, and
practice, practice with people that you are safe to do that
with. Yeah.
And these? Two guys are great.
There's I met them at Manhole inNew York City and then they they
moved to Fort Lauderdale and so they've they've been really,

(32:37):
really good to have around. So cool.
Awesome. All right, so we're getting
really into some actual interesting questions now.
Oh yeah. Or at least one because I can't
see what's coming next. So if you could fist or get
fisted by anyone alive or dead, not including anyone you already
have on Briti called speed dial.OK, so if I could fist with

(33:00):
anybody, alive or dead, I would say the late Eric Rhodes,
because he was. Yeah.
I mean, like his old scenes withRaging Stallion were really,
really, really great. And so I used to actually chat
with Eric back in the day when Iwas like 1819 when I he was in
the industry at the same time I was.
And we had talked about hopefully doing a scene

(33:21):
together. And so him for sure.
And there's a guy named Aubergine who a lot of people
don't, he's passed away as well.And so he was kind of like
there's a couple, he was the original prolapser on the
Internet basically. And so he had a prolapse like

(33:42):
mine that a lot of guys fetishized and like would fly
out to California to meet him tosee him.
Pumper Mike knew my friend Pumper Mike knew him.
My friend Fist Fantasy here in Fort Lauderdale knew him versus
fist LA knew him. And so he was just this kind of
like father of two kids or whatever that had this huge

(34:04):
prolapse that he was kind of, I guess, shy about.
And So what I would love to playwith him today or just like be
able to show him how the landscape has changed for that.
Because it's like. Back when he was doing it before
he died, it was very taboo and very under underground.
And so now that it's like everybody has a prolapse.

(34:25):
So so I'm what about? Is the new fisting or something?
Yeah, I. Mean I would love to just be
able to see to share that with him and it could show him how
much the landscape has changed and how what he was so ashamed
of is now so like readily accepted or and it's.
It's funny you should say that in respect of him because going

(34:47):
back to Eric, I found I found something online way back.
I think I want to say it was notlong after he died because I
remember hearing that news of being very sad and shocked.
Yeah. And and I found something he
posted somewhere, whether it wason his personal website or blog,

(35:08):
because he had a blog. He had a blog, obviously a
thing. Back then, so maybe it was his
blog and and it was the gist of it was I've done fisting porn
now. I guess that's the end of my
career, yeah. Because that's how it was back
then. It's weird because.
I you, he would have had a better sense of that than I did
as as a viewer, It didn't, it didn't feel that way to me, but

(35:31):
but it clearly felt that way to him.
Yeah. Because that was.
What was hammered into our headswhen we were in 2007, when I
started, when I started with Raging Stallion, the agent that
I had told me I was not allowed to do fisting.
Fisting was an end of the road sexual activity that you did at
the end of your career. And then when you were ready,
when you're ready to leave the industry, then you dabble in

(35:54):
fisting and then that's it, you're done.
After that, the concept of having a career built around
fisting was, you know, not, not a thing.
It was, you know, and it, and it's changed dramatically over
the years. Yeah.
So as it. As it should have.
Yeah, it. Was I, I hate attributing any,

(36:14):
you know, I know that I had an impact.
I know Axel Abyss had an impact.I think you had an impact.
I think that there's some guy just like the guys that I
interviewed for Legends, they all kind of helped pave the way
for what we have today, which isthe biggest fisting boom I think
ever. It's like, so I mean, so many
guys are into it. It's it's whatever kind of

(36:34):
fisting you want. There's, there's plenty of it,
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So so are there any kinks you haven't explored that you've
always been curious about or ever been curious about?
OK, so this. Is this one I thought about a
little bit. So like, I'm really this is
going to sound. It's not I shouldn't be
embarrassed about anything. I'm not embarrassed about
anything. But like in my friend, Filth

(36:58):
Pigs, do you know who Do you know who Filth pigs is?
They're in London. Yes, yes, I.
Believe. I believe I've met them briefly.
One of them's Nick, right? I'm not sure.
I'm not sure his real name. They're not together anymore.
So they were rubber pigs and nowthey've reprint he's separated
and he's got he's filth pigs now.
And so we're pretty we we chat online a lot and we met on a

(37:19):
campsite and he started explaining to me this, this
inflation play. OK, OK, so it's like basically
he uses like an aquarium bump and fills his belly with air and
then like, let's like gets like this huge distended belly and
then like let's all the air out and it's supposed to be like
super erotic and fun. And like to me that just screams

(37:39):
gross boy sex to me and so gross.
Gross, Gross. Boy sex, like just like kind of
just being like like I'm not into like, like there's guys
that do like a lot of like like like fart porn and stuff like
that. That doesn't hurt me, that
doesn't turn me out, but I love noises when you're fisting
somebody, the noise of a hole talking back to you.
And so this inflation play thingsort of kind of ties into that a

(38:01):
little bit and so. I still feel like I need a bit
more of an explanation as to what's going on.
The air goes in the butt hole, yes, Yeah.
And then inflates his belly so that he's got this huge
distended belly and then he likelets the air out.
And so it's supposed like he's, he said that it's like when
you're wearing latex, it just feels kind of amazing.

(38:21):
And so he's like, if I think of kinks that I have not tried
because I've tried most things and that I've wanted to try.
I mean, there's very little thatI haven't really dabbled in at
least in some way, but that which I.
Was probably true, but you know,I thought maybe there's there's
something. Yeah, no.
So. That.
This. Yeah, the.
Inflation plate thing and I've discovered that there's like a

(38:42):
whole community around it, so. Yeah, that's cool if I had to.
If I had to think of something, I mean, he and I were planning
on doing like, but the problem is that doesn't really work on
me right now because there's a I'm tied off at the end
basically. So we have to wait until I'm,
I'm better and healed completelyto do anything.
But like, we had this whole ideaof a webcam session where we
were going to do it together andthat kind of fell through when I

(39:04):
got hurt. And so, well, yeah, he's the way
he makes it sound to me is just so erotic and so hot sounding
that I'm, I bought the aquarium pump.
I bought the air pump. OK, OK.
You're all set. I've got the.
Got the equipment, I just haven't done it yet.
So but there's nothing really that's I mean I'm such a 1 trick
pony really when it comes to fist when when it with with sex

(39:25):
I I meet guys that have boyfriends, you know they one of
them is really into fisting the other ones to do a whole bunch
of other things. I'm really, I am a Fister at
heart and so I really have one box to check.
And so as long as my partner is into fisting, I'm happy.
And so, so there's not really a whole lot of other varieties of
things that I have to have in mylife, my sexual life.

(39:45):
I'm not a really a big bondage guy.
I'm not really a big, I don't like pain or S&M and stuff like
that. So I'm a big I do like voyeurism
and and exhibitionism a lot. But.
As far as a single thing that I really wanted to, I would want
to try, it's the inflation play thing, so.
Cool, I love that that was that was quite unexpected.

(40:06):
So I'm not that answer. It's a random, it's a weird, not
I don't want to say weird because no kinks are weird.
So like it's just I'm OK. With them being called weird, it
just took took me a while to figure out that it's not
weirdness that makes kinky sex. I mean, it feels like it is a
little bit, but but I think whatdifferentiates kinky sex from

(40:26):
regular sex is how much more it involves the mind than jobs than
just the genitals. Yeah, we talked about.
Interview. Well, you do.
Yeah. All right.
So when you see someone online that you'd like to play with or
film with, I'm all both, how do you approach them?
Well, do you approach them? I asked them if they're

(40:49):
interested in doing an episode of Brolapse.
OK. That's such a pervy way to
answer that question. I feel like a dirty old man.
But no, I mean, I I'll tell you a little, a little history of
why. So basically.
Hang on a minute. So just in case you're, how many
59 episodes of this? Yeah, One of which was me.

(41:11):
So count me out. So just in case the 58 other
people that you've interviewed didn't realize this was my
pickup. Lines.
So no, but I. Mean like I started bro labs
because I, I needed to retrain myself how to be social again
after COVID. And so I had just such a hard
time reintegrating back into fisting scenes or just social

(41:33):
scenes in general that I figuredhow can I kind of get involved
with the community again and, and also kind of retrain myself
how to be social. And then Bro Labs came about And
so it's it's kind of become a way for me to break the ice with
content creators that I really want to work with one day and
so, so well and. Also to find out if there's
chemistry there, because if it's.

(41:54):
Yeah, exactly. So far, I mean, like just making
those connections and getting a chance to have a conversation
with people that I might not have been able to have over
through DMS or whatever. Yeah, that's, I mean, I feel
like a little bit, that sort of sounds predatory a little bit,
but it's not meant to be. I don't.
I don't tell you that way. I don't see you as a groomer.
No, exactly. I just I'm so awkward and

(42:16):
nervous about kind of initially making contact with people.
So as far as to film or play, maybe a little bit out of fear
of rejection, but getting to break the ice over the work
conversation like this establishes a connection with
people. And so, yeah, it's been a really
great way to meet new people and, and make, you know, fisting
friends and just connections with people.
So I, I will say that I generally speaking, if I want to

(42:37):
work with someone, I pitch the idea of prolapse to them first
and see like how how they, how they respond.
And, and The thing is with with the show, it's like you ask most
content creators, you say, hey, do you want to come on and talk
about yourself for an an hour? And like most of them are going
to be like, well, yeah, of course.
So it's like kind of a chance tojust kind of get a vibe for how
we how we get along and whatnot.Yeah, it's been yeah, and it's

(43:01):
been, it's been great. I mean, like, I, I haven't had a
single episode where I felt there was a lack of real
chemistry with anybody. You wait my.
Prediction after this answer is that next year we're going to
see a flood of fisting podcasters yeah top this has
their strategy you know what I. What I, I heard the other day,
which was really nice, I got a really nice message from

(43:22):
somebody online, somebody who's been on the show that was like
most content creators are in such a battle to out content
create each other that like they're, they're so concerned
about who their next collabs are.
And, and that he was proud of mefor kind of figuring out a way
to transcend that and still staykind of in the in the mix by
doing stuff like podcasting thatsets me aside.

(43:44):
It's like carving out my own niche instead of just trying to
forge my way through this extremely overcrowded path of
content creators. And so it's been a really cool
social experiment for me. The show has been a really cool
experiment. And I want to ask a follow up
question because you mentioned it.
I, I imagine most people would look at you and the, the

(44:05):
opportunities that you have had and will have to play with, you
know, the most amazing people and think you don't know the
meaning of the word rejection. I do.
No, no, I I've no doubt that youdo.
So, so please go ahead and in whatever way you want to blow
that perception out of the water.
I know exactly. What it like it is like to be

(44:26):
rejected, especially since I've gotten the bag that has been
something that has caused me that has and, and I don't I like
everybody else. Don't I like reject.
I mean, rejection doesn't feel good.
It doesn't feel, you know, and Ibut I've also kind of I also
have to take a step back at those moments where I feel
rejection and go, I'm not hurting for sex or connection

(44:47):
really. And so if one person you know
doesn't like me, that doesn't define me.
And so and. In fairness to some other people
in the kind of rejection they experience, that isn't always
the case. Yeah.
Yeah, they don't always have. That consolation, yeah.
And. So I'm, I'm, I'm privileged in
that aspect. There are people that I feel

(45:10):
like my old fisting circle here in Fort Lauderdale that I do not
connect well with anymore. That is a form of rejection that
hurts. Like I just feel like my, my
inability to stay on the wagon all the time as far as my
sobriety goes, has hurt my ability to stay connected to
this old circle that I used to have.
And so that the fact that I am trying so hard to stay sober,

(45:33):
the wagon now doing things actively like this new medic
medication treatment that I'm doing and still feeling rejected
by them. It doesn't feel good.
There's no you know it. And it happens to me.
And I just like everybody else, get ghosted sometimes.
I mean set up for a hookup and then I sit and clean my clean my
playroom and get myself ready and I'm waiting and I'm waiting.
I'm waiting and and hey, I'm outside you.

(45:55):
I'm pulling into your complex and then vanish, then nothing.
Yeah, That, that, that. Happens to me too and so, and
that's never a fun feeling, so yeah.
And then that's sort of a segue to the reverse question.
If someone wants to get in touchwith you to see if you would
like to play or film, how would you prefer that they do that I.

(46:15):
What I like is I respond more toconfidence and well constructed
DMS like Adm from somebody that says that's more than just hey
Sup, you know, you know, collab,you don't want to collab or like
1, you know. I.
Respond much better to a conversational approach that's
feels authentic than just something like, you know, love

(46:41):
your content, want to collab. I'm less likely to respond to
that than like a kind of well thought out approach to me.
Like, hey, you know, I don't even know what it needs to sound
like, but it just, it doesn't sound like Sup.
Yeah, well. I mean, I, I, I guess I don't
necessarily need a ton of words,but what, what I find

(47:05):
challenging, There's two things I think I can think of that that
I find most challenging when it comes to people's approaches
online. 1 is 1 is when when in ain Adm, there's enough ambiguity
that I look like an ass. If I assume that what they meant
was they wanted to play because they haven't been, you know,

(47:27):
there's there's a there's an implication or that I could be
forgiven for thinking that, but they haven't said it directly.
So yeah, I I'm kind of left if Isay thanks very much.
No, thank you. I'm Yeah.
Was sort of. Assuming that's what they meant
and they they maybe didn't. Like I wasn't.
And then I'm the Artol and then the other one that that I I

(47:50):
don't love is when it's and I think sometimes people mean it
just to be flirting. But when, when people do it in
in as a as a response to a post,we should we should play or we
should pick up. I'm like, OK, now if I reject
you forcing me to do it in public or I have to go to your
DM to do that. And that's also slightly

(48:12):
awkward. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. Yep.
Or my, my least favorite is when's my turn, right?
That's what that makes my skin crawl.
When's my turn? And then I just, I'm like, like.
Carnival. Ride well also I.
Think, I think it's the, the airof entitlement that, that, that,
that comes with. And I don't think it's

(48:32):
everything's always intended. I think it's, you know, in
fairness, you know, to be, to be, to be sympathetic.
It can be hard to figure out, especially when you are, you
know, you have a bit of a crust on someone.
You feel, you know, that makes everybody feel awkward and say
awkward things and, you know, bea bit less articulate and
charming than they than they thought we might be.

(48:52):
But yeah, when's my turn? Definitely wouldn't.
I mean, OK, I must admit if someone, if someone I thought
was ridiculously hot said when'smy turn, I'd be like tomorrow.
It's like. The creepy comments are less
creepy when they come from somebody that you right right.
Right. But yeah, But in general, no.
When's my turn? We should like, should we?

(49:16):
Who decided that? Yeah, yeah, there's, yeah,
there's I try to, you know, I, Ilike there's a guy Fell Bell or
fuck Art Berlin. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man, I. Want to play with him so bad and
so but I but I I I resign from being just from making those
comments. But I did just leave a comment

(49:38):
on this video he posted the other day.
I was just like, man, that is sofucking hot.
And so maybe there's like a, youknow, sub implication that I
want to play with it now. He's going to know for sure, but
like assuming he listens, I wouldn't.
I want to be so so I we've had sex, right?

(50:00):
So we are acquainted. I don't think I could go so far
as I wouldn't. I wouldn't presume to say we're
friends, although I'd be very happy to call him a friend and I
cannot see any reason why he wouldn't jump at the chance to
play with you. OK, good.
Good to know because we were, wewere, we had plans I think at
one point and then I had to leave Europe early and didn't
end up meeting up with him. But so it's also broaching that

(50:22):
kind of like the the redo. But yeah, I don't know.
I he's he's he's to answer an earlier question, he's somebody
that I would love to play with too.
So he just looks like a filthy pig.
He just looks like a dirty. I think he's got great sexual
energy. In fact, I think, I think his
profile name is encapsulates himreally well.

(50:46):
And it's a great, it's a great brand, I suppose.
Yeah. What?
Is it is his screening fuck Art Berlin or is it Fell Bell like
the only one? I'm familiar with both things,
but I think of him as fuck up. OK, yeah, I do.
Too. I do too.
I just don't know what Fell Bellis.
What is where that ties into. Yeah, but he's sad.
He's super gorgeous and so yes. I'll be.

(51:08):
Probably creeping. I'll probably be asking him for
a bro lapse interview soon. I'm sure I can't.
Get wind of this. I'm more than happy to reach out
and OK points within this story.All right, change gears now in
this with this next question. Do you believe that this life is
all there is for us? Thought about this.
Question And I was like, what doyou mean by this life?

(51:28):
Is it this life meaning I? Mean OK, so I don't I, I mean
the one way of saying this couldbe, you know, is there life
after death, right? But I think I mean something
more than that in the sense that, you know, so it could be
that, but it, you know, one of my favorite films or series of
films is the matrix. When I watched the first movie,
I think like most people, I cameaway from it going that was fun

(51:50):
and treated it as a you know what it right.
And then I met someone who was like mad about the film and it
was right before going to see the the birds while the second
one came out And, and, you know,he basically regarded it as a
what is as a, as a, you know, not that we are literally, you
know, in cells being farmed for energy.

(52:12):
And there's reasons why that's actually not even a terribly
plausible use of of humans. It wouldn't be very important.
But apart from that, not that that's that's what's really
going on. But but in the sense that I'm
actually actually there's, there's plenty of very well
respected, very intelligent people who are will tell you
what we what we're experiencing is is a perspective on the on

(52:34):
the universe, but very much missing a very a large chunk of
it. Yeah, I don't want to want to be
a proponent. I don't want to be proponent of
chems. You know, I've always so a fine
line with me, but it's like whenever I take ketamine for
example, like always feel connected to something way
bigger or like or so say or psychedelics in general.

(52:56):
So. I just mentioned how I made this
dry and then we went to see the second Matrix film.
We went to see the film at the IMAX OK.
OK, an experience. So yeah, so I mean, there's
times where I've been on ketamine where I feel like just
this, there has to be more like this.

(53:17):
I just feel that. And then I come back to earth
and I'm like, no, everything's, you know, normal.
But it's I've done, you know, myshare of psychedelics and.
But ketamine in particular makesme feel connected to something
much bigger than what this is, you know, here as far as, and
it's also like a little scary sometimes.
It's like, well, what, what is it that is out there that's so
much bigger than me? Like.

(53:39):
I don't like, for me, I don't, Idon't have to.
I used to feel a much stronger need to to be certain of things.
Yeah, right. And to figure it all out And,
and I don't need that like I did.
In fact, part of it for me was was recognizing and, and and

(54:00):
taking the lessons in. OK, so you've got, you've got
Icarus, right? Flies too high because in the
sun you've got Ahab in Moby Dick.
The, the whale in Moby Dick is, is a metaphor for the absolute
truth, OK. And it's and it's what destroys
Ahab in his pursuit of this, of this thing.

(54:21):
And so I, at a relatively young age, I had that driving me and
I, and I learned, I realized that I would drive myself mad if
I if I didn't, right? Yeah, so.
I am content to to to take the clothes that there is more to
this than you know, as you have to say this crude matter, but
but I've got a very open mind asto what I'm Yeah, I'm think.

(54:43):
I'm in the same boat. It's like I'm content with
knowing this plane of existence,but I do think that there's
other they're humans only use like 10% of our brain power or
something like that. There's like there's more to
life. I don't.
Know I don't know what science that's based on it or if it's
one of those things that everyone passes on isn't it so
really but. Yeah, it's a it's a scary,

(55:05):
that's a scary thought for me. I mean, because I don't know.
I mean, like, you know, for example, I'm watching, I'm
taking care of my elderly grandmother right now who's, you
know, she's dying. And so it's like, you know, what
is there? I've thought a lot about having
these mortality discussions withher are a little they're
unsettling, but they're also like she's facing, you know,
mortality and, you know, she's not going to be alive for much

(55:26):
longer. And so she's facing this kind of
what is there after death and what you know, And so I've been
having these conversations with her and they're just, they make
you think and, you know, but of this life right now, I mean, I,
I don't know, it's a hard question to answer.
I do. Yeah, it's.
A hard question to answer. I mean, and I'm, I'm happy with
what I've made of my life so far.

(55:48):
I'm happy with the difference that I think I've made in the
world and the change that I've made and like the impact I've
had on other people. And I hope to continue to make
that impact on people in whatever way I can.
It's just a lot of times I get imposter syndrome and I start
thinking these people that look up to me or whatever, they only
knew what I was, you know, really like, you know, you know,

(56:09):
that I feel so flawed on the inside a lot of times that they
wouldn't look at me as a role model that they do.
But that's just my own imposter syndrome talking to me.
Yeah. I mean.
I, I, I feel like when I, when Ihave thoughts along those lines,
it's more a question of for me, I don't want anyone thinking

(56:30):
that if people think I have my shit more together than I than I
do, then then that's potentiallybad to them in thinking that
they're, if I'm, if in any way I'm being used as a standard
against which they're measuring themselves, they should lower
that fucking standard. Yeah.

(56:52):
And I feel that all the time. And that's a problem with I
think social media and the images that we portray on the
Internet not being accurate, full portraits of who we are,
which is why I try to be so openabout my flaws and my
shortcomings because I want people to actually to recognize
that, you know, I'm not the person that these flawless

(57:13):
Instagram models that look like they have this perfect life.
They're fucking everyday. They're on the beach all the
time. How the fuck do they afford to
go to Ibiza every week? It's like, it's like, like, you
know, there's I, I try to just be honest about what I'm
struggling with and stuff even just being open on this show,
like it is this conversation. It's like, you know, I try to
set like a realistic expectationfor what the type of person that

(57:34):
I am and by the life that I liveso that people don't get this
false narrative. But occasionally they those,
they still slip through the cracks and think that I'm this
superstar and I'm like, you know, it's, it's not like that
all the time. You know the.
Night I'm just a guy at home with his dogs so.
No, I no, totally, totally. OK, so very easy question now,

(57:57):
is he think you'll ever love again?
Huh. Do you think you'll ever love
again? How do I think I'll ever?
Love again. I hope I will.
I hope I will. Because I mean, went through a
very public breakup with my ex and I have felt damaged, like
damaged goods ever since. But I'm finally kind of like I'm
learning to love myself again through the course of writing
that book and recognizing my trauma and understanding it, you

(58:20):
know, you know, processing it. And so I feel more lovable now
than I have in a long time, which is a good feeling because
there, for a while, I thought I was a lost cause.
It's just fine. It's just finding somebody
that's comfortable with the lifestyle that I live because
there's there's no way for me toturn your hunger FF off at this
point. It's part of who I am.
And so somebody, somebody who isgets involved with me has to

(58:42):
understand that this comes with the part of the territory.
It's part of the it's part of the territory.
And so I do think I'll love again.
I hope I will. I, I don't know what that'll
look like, but yes, I mean I. I I've never loved the idea you
know, of like when people when people tell other people you'll

(59:03):
meet someone. Well, maybe you won't, but I but
equally, I've witnessed far too many people who've been, quite
understandably, having been brutally hurt in love one way or
another, who find it too painfulto leave the door to just to

(59:25):
leave the door open to the possibility of it.
And they they nail it shut in a variety of different ways,
including just convincing themselves it's never going to
happen, which is certainly well,when that's their attitude.
That was my. Attitude.
After Julian Torres, I nailed the door shut.
I was like, the idea of going through the pain that I went

(59:45):
through with that breakup again was worth not experiencing love
again. And so I have since then moved
past that. And so I, you know, I'm not the,
the, the idea of love again is more enticing than the idea of
loneliness forever again. So I went from nailing it shut
to being like, you know, now I've been mostly single.

(01:00:07):
I've had one relationship in themeantime, very turbulent
relationship as well. But I'm hopeful that I will find
something, someone again. My person is still out there.
Cool. So yeah.
OK, so. As you know, Matthew Lillard,
Yeah, some waiting for that in the next Scream movie.
Do you think Stu could somehow survive the first movie or is he

(01:00:29):
back to Stu's twin brother or something else?
OK, so. We learn in Scream Scream Six
that nobody's really dead unlessyou see their disfigured,
mangled, morbid dead body, because that's why they give you
that speech. And then the latter scene
happens and she falls and she just like, hits the floor and
like, she's like crumpled up into nothing.

(01:00:49):
Like we get it. Like we see her dead body.
He had ATV thrown on his head. He's still.
Alive we didn't get caught like that's not confirmation that he
died like they they stabbed Chadlike 30 times in scream 6 and
then they showed us that he was still alive like either like
there's no bullet to the head. There's no.

(01:01:10):
You know, isn't he like the? Only killer to not have gotten
shot in the head, probably. My question, My, my, my, my
question if, if that's the case,if he survived the TV, right,
how did how did he manage to escape the scene?
And nobody was like, well, where's the Stew body?

(01:01:30):
Well, no, I don't. Think that.
So like, I'm wondering if it's kind of the case of like you
watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I am.
I will. I'm one of the biggest Buffy
Vampire Slayers fans you could possibly meet.
You are. OK, so Dawn existed, you know, I
know it's like we only talk about her in Season 5, but it's
as if this, like, she's introduced as if she had been

(01:01:51):
part of the Buffy lore up to that point and just not
mentioned. And so I'm, like, filmed around
Dawn. And so, I mean, who's to say
that Stu didn't just get, you know, locked up in an asylum
somewhere and they just never mention it Throughout the course
of the seven movies, they just never mentioned that Stu is
still alive. Like they just, they, you know,

(01:02:13):
yeah, they were two psycho killers, but they never
explicitly say that Stu died. They never explicitly say that.
I never thought about it from that.
Angle I mean, I think, I think it's a stretch.
It's it's it's it's a stretch beyond.
So Dawn's a good example except that at least with Dawn, right
at least with Dawn, there was a there was a reasonably solid
explanation, right? As opposed to other shows where

(01:02:36):
all of a sudden the character has a brother or sister that
they've never mentioned before and you're like, wait, a song,
you know, where did this character go from right.
So, yeah, OK, All right, I. Don't think, I think that's Stu
survived the first one and has just been locked up and that
there we're going to get some kind of like, I mean, that's my
initial thought is that that he survived somehow.

(01:02:58):
We didn't see the body. It would follow the trope that
there were the rule that we needto see their disfigured
dismembered body. But yeah, I was trying to think
in my head of witch killers. I was doing a run through in my
head who didn't get shot in the head.
Charlie didn't get shot in the head in season and episode 4,
but he takes a knife to the heart.
So he's dead and so but every other killer and all of the
other movies were shot in the head.

(01:03:20):
And so Stu is the only other onethat didn't get shot in the
head. So I think that maybe there's a
chance that he's survived the first one and it's just been in
lock up and and maybe, you know,whoever I think they introduced
to sister or something in this movie.
I read that there's a there's a sister or something that's
involved in this in this movie, but I don't know.
I don't know. I, I can't wait to see it.

(01:03:41):
I hope it's as good as I want itto be.
I love that they're doing because a lot of times they
don't really release movies in February.
February is a weird release timefor movies.
It's like they usually try to put the big movies out in the
summertime and around the holidays and stuff like that.
But screen 5 came out and I think in, in a February too and
it was amazing. I hope it's just like a like a
like a sleeper hit, but King Sidney Prescott kick ass again

(01:04:03):
in this movie. Like, you know, but I want to
know like, why is her panic roomconnected to a fucking wall?
Like like why is why, like why is she crawling through the
wall? Like how did you end?
Like how does your panic room not just a panic room?
Why did you have to crawl to thewall to get to or whatever it
is? I'm sure what might send.
Something to like. Yeah, I know.
But it was just that part made me a little annoyed.

(01:04:24):
I was like what the fuck? Why?
But hearing her daughter, and then they named her daughter
Tatum, I was like, yes. Like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sorry, his daughter's name.
Is Tatum. I think that was such a cool nod
to the the original movie. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. So.
And I hope Mindy and Chad are safe.
I hope Mindy and Chad don't get offed in this movie because I

(01:04:46):
like them, right? Well, they're they're.
The new they're the new theoriesreally, aren't they?
Yeah, kind. Of I mean, because they show up
in the trailer, they show up with with Courtney Cox.
Courtney Cox rolls up, GAIL Weathers rolls up in the van,
and then the backseat are Mindy and Chad.
Like they're all like kind of testes now or something, I don't
know. So.
And I hope GAIL survives too, because I just love GAIL.

(01:05:10):
Me too. Me too.
Yeah. Cool.
All right, So in the UK on Radio4, working out of my entire
life, there's been a radio show where they interview people and
it's called Desert Island Discs.Within that show, they one of
the there's a bunch of questionsthey ask every every guest and
some of them are you're allowed one book.

(01:05:31):
So what would that would be? You're allowed one album.
So what would that album be? And you're allowed one luxury
item. What would that be?
OK, so I. Thought about this question and
like the book I would you bring with me is the art of war, which
is just kind of like it's an important book in my life like
it's it I read it when I was a teenager and like it's sort of

(01:05:52):
formed a lot of not I could I could approach this as if I was
on an island and I needed to bring one book with me to help
me survive the art of war is notgoing to help me survive but it
is an important book to me and so you've.
Drawn a lot of strength from it.Yes.
Yes. The album that I would bring
with me or the record that I would bring with me.
There's an indie pop singer named Upsall that I really

(01:06:14):
listened, that I like a lot. And I have all her vinyls, like
framed around my house. I collected all her vinyls.
Let's see if I can grab this without looking off the camera.
But I'm off the wall yet, So. So this is a young life crisis,
OK? Wow.
So. And I have my 2 like lanyards
like from when I met her like sitting here.

(01:06:34):
Nice young life crisis is reallylike it got me through COVID and
it was like just I think she's like such a great lyricist and
and I could listen to the young life crisis all day, every day.
It's like such a good album. And then luxury item.
I would bring the I were to bring my dog.
I will bring my dog. Yeah, I'd.

(01:06:56):
Love I'd love to know if if any other guests on on desert island
this had picked a dog. Isn't it luxury?
But I love that I I'm so attached.
To him, he's my, you might say. I thought you might say your
favorite dildo, but no, you don't feel dog, No, I would.
Pick my dog in a heartbeat because so he's he's everything
to me. I mean, that that dog, I got him

(01:07:17):
the day that my the day after myprevious dog Emma passed away, I
could not handle the quiet in the house.
And so I and so and then I bought him and I got him from a
breeder. And then I found out the next
day that he had a congenial heart defect.
And so I had to go to battle forhim.
And so, like, and I sued the breeder and like, you know, I've
got my my money back for the cardio.

(01:07:39):
You know, I had to fight for this dog from the minute I got
him, I was fighting for him. And so, yeah.
He's just. Attached to my hip and I work
from home for myself by myself, so we're together all the time
and he's just daddy's these little monkeys.
So I mean like, I just couldn't imagine being away from.
I mean, going to Paris a couple weeks ago, it was the longest
I'd have been away from him. I just love that dog so much

(01:07:59):
He's just my yeah. So he would be my luxury.
So I completely. Understand.
Yeah. And he's such a pretty color.
He's just like he's, he's got a genetic mutation for his hair
pattern. Like he's got Merle.
I don't know if you know what a Merle Pitbull is, but it's
there's Brindle pitbulls and then there's Merle.
And Merle is a tricolor Pitbull,like where they have, he's like

(01:08:21):
Gray, brown and white. And so he's got three different
colors on him. He's really pretty.
So he's the, I call him the hottest little himbo because
he's just got like a he's just like, yeah, he's my, he's my
little soul mate. So 8 ball for sure.
So good. Answer, good answer.
And then another sort of favorite interview for about
mine was is from the actor studio.

(01:08:41):
They've got 10 questions I'd pick to have for what's your
favorite word bro? OK.
Is definitely. I mean, that comes out of my
mouth more than any other word on the planet.
I mean, when I if you watch my fisting scenes, it's fuck yeah
bro, fuck yeah bro. It's a lot of bro.
It's a lot of no. Talk so bro is definitely my

(01:09:01):
favorite word. What's your least favorite word?
This one I. Don't know what's my least
favorite word. I know, I know there's What is
my least favorite word? Oh, I know what my least
favorite word is. It's gross.
I. Hate the word pus?
Oh, OK. God I.
Just hate it. I hate it.

(01:09:22):
I hate it. It's just like that word makes
me just want to just, like, crawl out of my skin and die.
It's just so gross to me. So yeah, the least favorite
word? Definitely.
I don't even want to say it again.
One time is enough. What's your favorite curse word?
Can't. Probably.
Is that if that's a curse, is ita curse word?
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. I would say can't, yeah.

(01:09:44):
That would probably be mine, butthat would be right up there.
It's so durable. You could be like serving can't
you're county, you're a can't, you know, fuck my cunt.
Like it's like there's so many. Oh yeah.
Yeah, it's A and also I think, Ithink when you really want to
curse and you know, you either want to you want to either want
to curse a person or a or a situation and there's nothing,

(01:10:07):
not much is better than cunt. Yeah, well, you.
Say it was such a force. Say it again.
Yes. Daddy.
Love. It love it, I love it, I love it
and it's. So it's one of those words
that's very divisive. I feel like because guys don't
want to hear cunt or pussy during sex and it's like, it's

(01:10:28):
an I love that like I love emasculating, you know, person
because it just it turns me on. So when somebody's turned off by
that, it's kind of they turn me off.
And so it's a good way to weed out my potential play partners
to yeah. I've, I've, I've never, I don't,
I don't, it doesn't, It doesn't cause a problem for me if

(01:10:48):
someone doesn't like it, but I've definitely, I can think of
at least two people who I'd known.
It evolves from feeling uncomfortable with it to to
finding it erotic. Yeah.
And I think it's super hot. I mean, I used to.
I was proud. I was in that camp before, too,
where I thought it was. I didn't like it.
But then there you go. Yeah.
But then over time it just grew on me and I'm like, fuck my

(01:11:11):
fucking pussy. I, I would argue that for a lot
of people, it's the, it's the discomfort and it's the
taboonist of, of, of the word that makes you not like it in
the first place. It becomes something you know
positive about, like faggot. Faggot's a good one for that.
Yeah, I guess 1. In in a slightly different way,

(01:11:32):
but yeah, yeah, it's the tab. It's.
Leaning into the discomfort of it becomes empowering, yeah.
Totally. So other than me.
Saying the word punt. What?
Sound or noise do you love? I love.
The noise of a hole getting fisted.
I love that. Sloppy, like fucking like you're
hitting a bucket of water. So that's my favorite sound.

(01:11:53):
I turn it up whenever that's on in porn.
So I love it. And what?
Sound or noise do you hate? OK, this is.
Weird, I thought about this one beforehand because I was reading
these and so this is going to bereally weird.
I hate the sound of forks touching each other.
I don't find that. Weird, you don't think it's I?
Mean like the sound of like a 2,like if two forks get stuck
together and you have to pull them apart and like that metal

(01:12:14):
on metal sound, it just makes mywhole body just like it's.
So yeah, I think that's in the ballpark of nails on top or
Yeah, and but it's only. Forks like, I don't know, like
spoons? It doesn't work with spoons.
Doesn't bother me at all. Spoons don't bother me at all,
knives don't bother me. Like knives I just cutting

(01:12:36):
together are fine, but two forksthat are like stuck together,
like pulling them apart, like it's just like it just creeps me
out. It makes me so uncomfortable
because I just got my friend just gave me a set of Wolverine
Wolverine claws. Like the gave me like real
authentic, like they look like when you put them on that
they're coming out of your knee and knuckles.
And I did like the whole like shing like thing like that, and

(01:12:59):
that doesn't bother me. But two, of course.
So weird that is. Funny.
Wow. Yeah, we're at the last one.
So you mentioned at the start you've got a mood board for next
year, Yes. And I know you're excited about
the plans you've made. Have you already shared what
they are on this platform and it's not Are you ready to I can

(01:13:21):
I? Will share the big idea that we
came up with that we brainstormed, which I'm really
hoping to make a reality is prolapse live.
And so like the idea is, and I'msure you won't mind if I say
this, but I'm working on it witha lot of Mcgriddles or wrecked
it, Ralph. Where we'll.
Take prolapse kind of on the road and do like pick different

(01:13:44):
12 different cities throughout the United States and bring in
the fisting, you know, whoever like the kind of like pick a
couple fisters from that city, bring them on in front of a live
audience and then have the drag element of with a lot of kind of
Co hosting with me. So there's and do games and
stuff like that. So and then, you know, have pick
a bar and have entry, you know, it's like a live event

(01:14:06):
basically. And so it prolapse, prolapse
live hunger FF and a lot of Mcgriddles present prolapse
live. And so that's kind of like my
big the big idea that came out of that session was that and
we've only just kind of cracked the I've got all of my if
anybody hadn't seen it on it, you know, if you've seen it on
Instagram. I basically got a big board.
I printed off all my projects that I have that I work on and

(01:14:30):
I'm trying to map kind of how I want my year to look and like
what it and brainstorm ideas foreach one to make them better and
prolapse live came from Ryan pupXXX came up with this idea for
bro apps live. We were all working together and
and then it just snowballed intothis exciting idea that I think
will be really kind of a game changer for the show.
Like to release it as like side,you know, bonus episodes as but

(01:14:52):
yeah, bro apps live is my big thing that I'm really looking
forward to. I really love it.
I love it. I in fact, Speaking of love it
there's a weekly kind of podcasts, but also live show
from the people at cricket mediathat I watch a variety of things
I do nice One of the one of the people in their team is called
Jon Lovett. OK, he.

(01:15:13):
Used to be a. Speechwriter for Obama.
He's very intelligent, very funny.
He's also gay, and so he has a show that he does.
I think he's taken it on the road a few times, but it mostly
happens in LA called Lovett or Leave It.
OK and he usually has a couple of guests on.
The one I just watched was he had tricks in the towel on as a
guest. OK, he's usually got 2 guests
and he's had, you know, at the time before that he had Henry

(01:15:37):
Winkler and I forget the name ofthe guy, but I think he's based
in Atlanta. And he recently made a show
about being an immigrant from Gaza.
Like he's originally from Gaza and then he but then he had to
move somewhere else and, and, and so he's made a show about
being an immigrant in the US. OK Comedy show, believe it or
not. Wow.

(01:15:57):
Yeah, I can't. Remember the name of the show?
Anyway, and and it's if you're looking for.
If you're, if you're it's under the stage of figuring out what
the format will be or or what itlooks and and sounds like, I
highly recommend. What so you mean?
Because I'm going to do. Do a lot of homework before I do
this and like my friend also suggested I watch Kristen
Cavalleri had a has a podcast that she took live as well.
And so any homework, any any suggestions so I can make this

(01:16:19):
be a success? I'll take because I was like
everything. This show started off with me
just winging it and I don't wantto just wing it for a live
audience. So I'd like to get some, get
some I'm. Sure.
I'm sure it will like anything, it will get better at the time
and it will still be brilliant when you saw.
Yeah, I hope. So is that all of them?
Is that all the questions? That's all.

(01:16:39):
The questions. OK, All right, well, this was
super, super fun. I'm like very grateful for your
time. I know you're super busy right
now. And and so for you to take down,
take the take the time to sit down and do this for me.
I'm very, very. It was.
Very nice to be able to do this instead of all the very boring
things I've got to do. You got it because.
This was the Brolapse holiday special.

(01:17:00):
That's what I'm going to call it.
Thank you so much, Dolan Wolf. If you guys are enjoying the
show, we're on Apple, Amazon, YouTube, Spotify, and
iHeartRadio. New episodes go live live on
Friday nights at 8:00 on hungerff.com.
And just for fan slash hunger FF.
I'll also give Dolan a copy for his page if he wants to post it
on his Just for Fans page, whichis now live.
I know last time we did it, you were just in the process of

(01:17:21):
getting it live. So now it's it's up and running.
So definitely take a look at that.
And then do you have any other social medias you want to plug
before I before we wrap up? People can follow me SF muscle
buddy on Instagram. I keep that relatively tame.
Then Dunham wolf XXX on and Twitter and then that same
handle. However, it fits into Blue sky.
I think it's got B Sky or something.

(01:17:43):
I can't remember how that one goes.
Yeah. And then Donald wolf XXX on just
the fans. OK, awesome.
Again, thank you so much. Happy holidays.
This was a great kind of way to flip the script and I thoroughly
enjoyed it. And I'm going to get out of this
sweater now because my room is so all right.
Goodnight, you guys. Thank you so much for listening.

(01:18:03):
Have a good night. Thanks for going deep with me on
Hunger FF Presents Prolapse. If you're loving the ride, hit
subscribe, drop a review, and share the fisting love.
Follow me on social media at Hunger FF for unfiltered updates
and exclusive content. But until next time, keep it
raw, real, and always hungry. I'll see you on the next
episode.

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