Husband Material

Husband Material

So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode will make it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.

Episodes

April 22, 2024 42 mins

How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality"

If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, wher...

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Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk."

If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he he...

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What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."

If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.

Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group

Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he...

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April 1, 2024 21 mins

What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn?

This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com

Resources for Inner Healing Prayer:

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What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior.

John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice Clinical Training Series with Deb Dana. ...

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We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com

Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. Boulder Recovery uses the TINSA treatment ...

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Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words.

Helpful phrases:

  • Tell me more…
  • What’s it like for you...
  • How does that affect you?
  • That makes sense (because)...
  • It sounds like / I hear you saying…
  • It seems like something shifted…
  • That stood out to me…

Resources mentioned (in...

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There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing.

Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting.com/contact

Check out Mik...

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What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful.

Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recovery Partners and co-authored...

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February 19, 2024 15 mins

Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies!

Related episodes:

Take the Husband Material Journey...

  • Step 1: Listen to this pod...
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What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change.

Jonathan Daugherty is the founder and president of Be Broken, and founder of the Gatew...

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If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like.

Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (these are paid links):

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January 29, 2024 79 mins

What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are...

  1. Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback)
  2. Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh and critical vs. gentle and kind)
  3. Checking in with your small group (lots of acc...
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How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs.

Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family therapist and professiona...

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How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing!

Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She is the founder of Betrayal...

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What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningful.

Watch the video of thi...

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January 1, 2024 20 mins

Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself.

Take the Husband Material Journey...

Thanks for listening!

...

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How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas!

Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCSW, CSAT) also known as &qu...

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How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image.

Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling, where he hel...

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What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well.

The best place to start is Husband Material Academy, which opens up on January 1.

Learn more at joinHMA.com

Take the Husband Material Journey...

  • Step 1: Listen to this podcast or wa...
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