I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki

So you didn't have to, I read the 44-page Trump indictment. Here is my modest, hilarious, brilliant take on it all. Hey, as I've always said, "You can't spell 'awesome' nor 'modest' without 'ME.'"

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Blog

https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/

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“Right the Right”

Been off course for a while

Siri’s a woman

So, they go in the opposite direction

They don’t know where they are

Or where they’re heading

But would rather wreck than admit they were wrong

Let’s control the wheel and right the right

They need our help; they’re too drunk to drive

Let’s control the wheel and right the right

They should prob’ly sleep it off tonight

Approaching a red sign

Instead of stopping

They sh...

“Orwellian Poetry” (A. “Woke Insomnia” / B. “Project Real”)

[Part 1: Orwellian Poetry]

It was the con of the century

It read like Orwellian poetry

Too blinded by their own hypocrisy

To see the dystopian irony

Their delusions quickly became quite clear

The con “will set us free”

[Part 2: Woke Insomnia]

Insomnia

Woke insomnia

Woke insomnia

Woke insomnia

They’re wide awake and unable to sleep

For days on end, they can no longer ...

“Slim-to-None Funds”

Do you know who they’re stealing from?

Charities named after them

The dollars keep rolling in

Diverted to greens and bogey-men

Claiming donations as grifts

They’ve sunk lower than piles of sh*t

The depths of Satan’s fiery pit?

Lower than it

None, slim-to-none funds

Take from children

Give to themselves

None, slim-to-none funds

They are the world’s biggest grassholes

Pulling for hell

Driving around in their ...

“Erratic Days”

Playing Candy Crush at a quarter to two on Monday afternoon

Before throwing Skittles about the room, shouting, “Where in the f*ck’s the blue?”

Next saying, “I guess orange will do, and this purple sh*t too”

All while watching cartoons he calls “news”

Unpredictability on speed

Yes, no, yes, maybe

He’s up one minute, the next minute down

He goes sideways and then diagonal

The guy has had some erratic days

He’ll s...

“You’re Accused and Betrayed”

Insurrection!

He will bail you all out

At least that’s what he says

He has told thirty-thousand lies

So, his promises aren’t worth a sh*t

Y’all get flocked up; baa; and spout

QAnon gibberish

Attack police, what’s free

Because you’re patriotic

So, Donnie eats his Whoppers

As you’re handcuffed and put away

Guess it really sucks to be you

You’re accused and betrayed

He will watch as you go down

Viki...

“Senseless Mind Syndrome”

His IQ is in the high teens

What’s left in his head constantly shrinking

A confined vocabulary

Just two-letter words, maybe three

He’s ignorant of everything

From physics to human anatomy

Thinks Einstein was just bread with cheese

That femurs were types of monkeys

It’s outdated, dissipated

His brain had its day, so he says again, again

He’s concocted another word

He may not drink, but it sounds like ...

“¿Amar Old Glory Hole? (Brittle Don)”

Brittle Don, brittle Don, you’re always cryin’

You lost another suit – this one for lyin’

Brittle con, brittle con, the truth is hurtin’

The odds of you outside a cell and workin’

Far away is where we think you should go

Somewhere between Saturn and Uranus

Stay in space until you float to Pluto

We’ll salute with middle fingers, standing tall and proud

Brittle Don, brittle Don, your bones ar...

“Daughter’s Sexy”

Incestuous and grossness

He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy”

Incestuous and nauseous

“A 10; hotter than yours; my daughter’s sexy”

He’ll make the comment on a talk show

“I’d hit that if she weren’t my daughter”

Everyone and their moms start to cringe

Then whisper, “What the f*ck is wrong with him?!?”

He’s the leader of the Greedy Old Perverts

Incestuous and grossness

He can’t stop saying, “Look, m...

“Harassing All Women and Girls”

She’d rather suffer a migraine, gout, and kidney stones than shake his hand

She’d rather get a full-face tattoo of a$$ than smell his stench

She’d rather recreate “Titanic” sinking than hear him scream her name

They want nothing to do with him; he’s harassing all women and girls

She’d rather skydive without a parachute than feel his lips on hers

She’d rather always hallucinate than see his tiny mus...

“Pisstaker”

Not one, but six!

So, my name is Donnie; I’ve got no money; owned by the Russian mob

Together do some “laundry,” or they’ll clean me out (Oh, no-no)

So, I call my Vlady; I’m on hold, hold, hold, hold, hold

After five hours, he says, “Why don’t you just leave us alone?”

So, I wear a bracelet, as a reminder; asks “What Would Vlady Do?”

If my Cabinet protests it, I say “You are screwed!” (Oh, yeah-yeah)

So, I call a guy,...

“He’s Jesus Nowhere”

Lesu anchiteze

Ese es quien es

“Trump Jesus was arrested by the Roman government”

(…yllaer ton tuB) …eH ma I dnA

They chant his name when he arrives

Give him all the money they don’t have

Thinking that will help them to survive

Though he doesn’t care that they’re alive

(Pay up!) For all his suits

(Pray now!) That he hears you

(Pay up!) So he can win

(Pray now!) The world will end

The guy thinks all the poor...

“Stormy At Birth”

Melanie’s at home with their son

So, where’s he gone?

Getting milk, food at the store?

No, he met a porn star instead

In a bed

Husband, father of the year

He whips out his mini-mushroom

Then saying, “I was in the pool”

Pretending he was cool

He was finished before they started

Saying “Sign this and tell no one”

Life changed after his baby’s birth

Storm alert

One-thirty K to shut her up

This could hurt his chan...

“Donnie’s a Zero”

He thinks he is seeing green, but is in the red

Dealt a winning hand, but still having to fold, as he turned casinos into sh*t

Vodka and steaks rarely miss, yet he couldn’t make a dime

The world’s greatest businessman, only if all others died

Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero

Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero

Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero

Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

A big rat on his head he bought at the Dollar Stor...

“Withholding the Bribery”

Speaking, he was only speaking

“I’ll give you that if you give me this,” no quid pro quo

Dealing, he is always dealing

“Four-hundred million for Biden’s dental records”

Reeling, his story is reeling

Like the Pinocchio-who-cried-wolf on steroids

Covers, he’s running for covers

But the bed he made he will now have to lie in

(Oh, boo-hoo)

He’s withholding the bribery

One even the blind can see

Guilty of fra...

“¡Amar Old Glory Hole!”

Oh, glory hole, you’re a fantasy of his mind

What could be on the other side?

A porn star ready to spank him with his face?

His personal “doctor” saying, “Here’s something you can sniff”?

Unfortunately no, neither of those were the case

They’d be much too clean for his sick and demented tastes

Oh, glory hole, what he wants will never breathe

He’s grabbed it joyfully, while saying it makes us free

Glory hol...

“No More Honesty”

Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty

Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly

Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty

Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly

Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty

Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly

His mouth is an enemy to our democracy

His nasty-a$$ mouth is an enemy

Stick him in an infirmary, record-quickly

Ma...

“34 Felony Crackdown”

[Part I]

Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo

Born in a mansion, the son of a king

His shadow was opportunity

All the failures were greeted with a shrug

No consequences for all his f*ck-ups

The three-millionth time was no charm

The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm

34 felony crackdown

There’s no misdemeanors to be found

His life of crime finally has a price

A rat behind bars, afraid of the mic...