March 30, 2023 • 30 mins
This episode is a very basic introduction into what senior living is and the types of communities in the senior living industry. I will be diving into many more topics inside the senior living industry in later episodes, but I wanted to get the basic understanding a definitions discussed first.
My wish is that you contact me and let me know what questions you would love answered on the following podcasts where I dive into how to talk to your loved ones about senior living, how to identify a good and great community, ways to pay for senior living and the pros and cons.
You can connect with me at www.aspireformorewitherin.com
You can join my email list here.
You can schedule a call for us to connect about your caregiving journey here.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:32):
Hi, and welcome to the newestepisode of the, I have fallen
and need some help podcast.
I'm Erin Thompson, your host.
Thank you for being here today.
I am going to talk about thebasic.
Understanding and philosophies,I guess you could say.
Of the senior living industry.
(00:54):
And my goal is over the next.
Few episodes that I dive intoeach.
Type of community.
Independently.
So we're going to discussindependent living assisted
living memory care, and thenskilled nursing.
Now my background is primarilyinside assisted living in memory
(01:15):
care.
Independent living is notsomething that I've actually
worked in, but I have beenaround it and surrounded by it
many, my, basically my entirecareer.
So we can certainly go into thattopic, but where the meat of my
experience is in the assistedliving and memory care, we're
going to dive into.
Lots of different things.
(01:35):
Like.
How to talk to your loved onesabout the senior living
industry.
And how to actually make themove happen and use my own
personal experiences with mygrandmother, who I moved into my
community.
So stay tuned with me, but todaywe are going to talk primarily
just about an introduction intoeach type of community that the
(01:59):
senior living industry offers.
So we'll start with independentliving.
There are many types ofindependent living that you can
choose from.
They have.
You know, homes andneighborhoods that would be
considered.
Part of an independent livingcommunity complex.
They may have a, um, a, um,Guest house or a clubhouse, or
(02:26):
they may have a dining roomwhere you can come and get a
meal.
Then you would move into.
Another type of independentliving would be, uh, one that
has cottages.
And then also some that haveapartments complex altogether.
And there may be meal plans withthat.
(02:47):
But you would have theopportunity to have a kitchen
and the stove and all the thingsthat you need to prepare your
meals inside of thosecommunities.
Then you would have strictlyapartment living where there may
be two to three meals availableper day.
Uh, and then you would have onesindependent livings that are
connected to an assisted living.
(03:08):
Um, and different levels ofcare.
So independent living can be,again, like I said, homes, it
can be homes and apartments.
It could be apartment only.
There are indeed.
Um, There are financial based.
Independent livings.
And then there are private pay,independent livings.
(03:28):
My grandmother lived inside ofa, um, financially based.
Um, income-based independentliving apartment called the
HIPAA apartments.
And I'm not exactly sure howwidespread they are, but in the
know, in my area there and inboth in the surrounding
counties.
And they go based on the incomeof the senior.
(03:50):
Then there are the biggercorporation, independent living
communities.
Um, that are.
Private pay that are notincome-based at all.
And then you have.
The.
Continuum care, retirementcommunities that start off.
(04:11):
With the independent living thecottages, and then you have a
buy-in and then you would.
That big upfront costs that youpay would then cover you or.
Promise you that they're able tocare for your needs.
As your needs change.
And so each.
(04:33):
Opportunity, right.
Each community offers a set ofexperiences that either are good
for you or not good for you.
It just depends people that donot have children or that do not
have that set plan of people totake care of them.
Tend to really, if they have themoney.
(04:55):
Tend to really like those CCRC.
The continuum care retirementcommunities.
Where your needs will be met ateach level.
Inside that particularcommunity.
And that is certainly somethingthat is worth noting and
considering, but there are othertypes of communities that do not
(05:19):
offer that guarantee, but havethe product types that may be
able to help you.
So if you were an independentliving, but then you needed
assisted living, you would stillhave that in the same campus.
And then there's some of them,some of the communities that
also have memory care.
So then you would have the same.
Promise.
That, that next level of care isthere in the same.
(05:43):
Uh, community in the samecomplex, which.
Is almost like a promise, right?
Because it's there.
In the same.
Parking lot, so to speak.
So making your choice.
Uh, wisely is very important.
Independent living doesn'tnecessarily promise three meals
(06:06):
a day.
There are meal plans.
Are there no meal options?
And I believe that the, thenumber one premise of.
What independent living is aboutis to build the socialization
aspect.
Because isolation inside of ahome.
Is not good for anyone.
No one.
(06:27):
So what independent livingoffers.
Is that idea of socializationwith other people like minded
people.
And.
Maintenance free living.
Which let's face.
It is very nice.
Very nice.
Especially if you're in yourseventies and you can't do all
(06:47):
the things that you used to do,maintenance free living.
Would be worth it.
You know, if we had the money,it would be worth it.
Um, There's activities.
There's people dedicated toactivities.
There's constant, intentionaleffort to get people together,
(07:08):
to hang out, to build that.
Socialization aspect.
That is very important.
Uh, for somebody who is lookingfor that kind of entertainment
and again, each community isdifferent and what they offer.
And it's important for you toknow what your you, or your
loved one wants.
(07:28):
What type of socialization doyou want?
How important is socializationfor you?
And.
Is that a deciding factor foryou?
We'll take the income basedapartments, for example.
My grandmother lived there forabout 10 years and there is not
(07:49):
an activity director.
Nor is there.
Um, intentional activitiesscheduled each day.
That's led by an employee.
But there are resident ledactivities.
And that is something that isstill fun and it's still
engaging and it's stillsocializing.
(08:09):
And the residents who wereleading it have a great time and
they have support from theadministrator.
Um, or the complex manager who'srunning that particular
community.
But when you go into othercommunities that have that
designated activities director,then the level of opportunities
(08:31):
to engage.
Are there.
And.
They should be fun.
And worth going to.
That is the high points of whatindependent living is.
And we'll go more into that in alater episode.
The next category of seniorliving is assisted living.
(08:51):
And that is my happy place.
Assisted living.
Um, And just going over the highpoints of what assisted living
is and what they offer.
They offer just from a bigpicture standpoint, help with
activities of daily living.
So what are activities of dailyliving?
(09:13):
Bathing dressing, grooming.
Eating.
And toileting going to thebathroom.
So it's assistance with thoseactivities of daily living.
It's not necessarily full careof those activities of daily
living, but it is assistance.
So we can assist you withgetting dressed.
We can assist you in and out ofthe shower.
(09:34):
We can assist you in the shower.
We can assist you.
Um, going to the restroom and inall the forms that you may need
help in that.
Activity of daily living.
There are also full-timeactivities involved in every
single community, which is to meworth its weight in gold.
(09:55):
Um, the activity program insideof any assisted living industry
should really be what you lookat one of the top.
Three things that you look atwhen you're looking for assisted
living, because that is thepersonality of the community.
And if that activitiesdepartment is being supported
properly, it is the mainstay ofthe entire community.
How is each department helpingthat as that activities
(10:18):
director?
Because that's where theresidents are happy.
And so are they able to show youthe room can they talk to you
about the activities?
Are they involved?
Do they get that activitiesdirector involved?
In your tour of the community.
Another aspect of assistedliving.
That's very important for you tounderstand, and we will get into
(10:38):
this later, but just a tidbit.
If you're going to move a lovedone from a state.
From a certain state intoanother state.
You need to check what the rulesare for assisted living
residents in that state, becauseeach state has different rules
that they are governed by thatthe assisted living communities
(11:02):
are governed by.
So I'm an Alabama.
And so I'm surrounded by aFlorida and Mississippi.
And Florida has less stringent.
Rules of operating for theassisted living communities than
Alabama does.
And Mississippi runs completelydifferent.
And so I don't even know how tocompare the two.
(11:25):
So, if you were coming from adifferent state and your loved
one requires a certain level ofcare, it's important to ask the
community that you're lookingat, what the rules are for
governing their particularcommunity and how your loved one
will kind of fall into.
Um, Where they would fall intofor those.
(11:46):
Particular rules.
So I know that in Alabama, Let'sjust say cognition is a little
bit of a sticky situation thatFlorida is a little less sticky
about, right.
So some people choose to move toFlorida because there's a
potential.
(12:08):
That a resident could stay therelonger.
And an assisted living versus amemory care.
And my thoughts on that.
R.
There are pros and cons to everyscenario.
Alabama memory cares.
Have a tendency to be a littlebit more.
(12:28):
Active and involved.
Whereas Florida memory caresseem to be a little bit more.
A little bit less active andinvolved, and it's just the type
of resident that lives there.
So we'll go more into that indepth.
But the main thing is, is thatif you're going to move from
(12:50):
state to state, it's importantthat you are aware of the regs.
And the good assisted livingcommunity.
Would talk to you about thatupon assessment, or maybe even
upon your first tour there.
And when you talk about.
Um, moving from state to state.
I assisted livings.
Are not for.
A resident to stay potentiallyfor their entire life.
(13:14):
It can happen.
And it does happen a lot, butit's not necessarily something
that anyone can guarantee.
And I think it's important thatyou know, that going into the
tour.
And then if somebody doesguarantee that, that your loved
one can stay there for the restof their life.
Um, I wouldn't believe them.
(13:35):
Now again, each state isdifferent.
But they do have rules andassisted living is not a skilled
nursing community.
And if your loved one needsskilled nursing, Assistance
then.
Assisted living may not be thebest place for them.
(13:56):
Assisted living is great.
And it changes people's livesand I love it.
Um, and I think it's importantfor you to know that it is not a
failure to move into assistedliving.
It is not.
My grandmother moved intoassisted living at 95 into the
community that I worked at.
(14:16):
And it changed.
Her.
Life and in changing her life,it changed my life and my
mother's life who were herprimary caregivers.
The activities program, thecare, all of it, the security
that assisted living offers, itjust changed our lives.
And we waited too long.
But on the flip side, assistedliving is costly and not
(14:38):
everybody can afford it.
Although there are a lot ofstates that do offer Medicaid
waivers.
For the most part assistedliving is private pay.
There are options like VA aidand attendance.
Long-term care insurance andthen families.
Getting together and.
Paying the difference that maybeyour loved one.
(15:00):
I cannot afford, which is whatmy family did for my
grandmother.
But again, we'll get into thatin later details.
Just no.
That assisted living is notfailure.
If you move a loved one in itwill change their lives.
Um, primarily private pay, butsome states have Medicaid
options and each state hasdifferent rules and assisted
(15:23):
living is primarily offeringactivities of daily living.
For your elderly loved one withsocialization that will help
your loved one.
Thrive.
That is almost a guarantee.
If your loved one.
We'll come down and engage.
They will eventually, sometimesit takes a little, little
(15:45):
prompting little patients, butfor the most part.
Most residents will engage atsome point.
Memory care is basicallyassisted living, but in a
secured environment andtypically.
Um, Offers.
More care.
In a concentrated cognitiveeffort than assisted living.
(16:08):
Does.
So.
The activities of daily livingare still the same.
They're just more cognitivecentered.
Then physically centered, likein assisted living, so to speak
again, some states aredifferent, so you would have
more dementia maybe at a littleadvanced.
(16:29):
Rate in some other states thanwhat I'm necessarily used to.
So assisted living could alsooffer.
A lot of cognitive queuing andactivities of daily living.
But I have seen memory careoffer in the state of Alabama.
Cognitive queuing would be.
You know, let's put our socks onhere's your first sock.
(16:51):
Let's put it on your first foot.
Here's your second sock.
Let's put it on the other one.
I'm going to grab your shirtnow, lift your hands up and then
we're going to pull it over.
Do you have it?
Can you do it the rest of theway?
Those are examples of cognitivequeuing.
Most memory cares are primarilymade for people with dementia
who are not safe.
(17:13):
Um, and are constantly exitseeking.
So exit seeking, wanderingpacing, um, eloping, which is
basically walking away is who.
The memory care is made for.
We have had had residents whowalked out of assisted living
(17:33):
say, and they were going to thestore to get some sugar.
We have had residents say theywere going to their daughter's
house.
Or they were going to work orthey were trying to catch the
bus to the city that they livedin.
Those are all examples of whymemory care was made.
And it's great because memoryit's still a customer service
(17:53):
based element just like assistedliving is, and it's not
necessarily skilled first.
Like skilled nursing islong-term care.
And that's the thing aboutassisted living is that it is
primarily private pay.
And so it is customer servicebased.
First, whereas nursing homeslong-term care, skilled nursing
(18:14):
communities are skilled inmedical needs.
First.
Customer service.
Back a few notches from.
Being the top priority.
But memory care is stillcustomer service based.
And a lot of activityprogramming.
For people who suffer fromcognitive impairment.
(18:41):
I love memory care.
I love it.
Um, I have a unique son.
Um, so I can tell you thatautism and Alzheimer's or
dementia.
Um, mirror each other very, verymuch.
And so it's literally, you know,two people going down or up the
developmental hill.
Um, Uh, in opposite directions,but a lot of the same caregiving
(19:06):
type.
Of needs.
Are there.
What I have noticed in regardsto being in a memory care.
Is that there's a level offreedom.
And a level of.
Expectation.
(19:26):
That just.
Allow success to happen.
Expectations can really stresspeople out.
You know, so if you have a lovedone who has dementia and you're
taking them to an environmentthat is loud and noisy and
they're expected to do thingsthat they would normally do,
(19:47):
that maybe they're not capableof anymore.
You could potentially seebehaviors for that.
Whereas in memory care, thereare no expectations.
We just allow you to be who youare and there's freedom in that.
I had so much fun singing anddancing with my memory care
residents, just because I coulddo it.
(20:07):
And no one would judge me.
And that's the beauty.
Of loving someone with dementiais.
Just allowing them to be whothey are.
And serve them where they are.
And being thankful that youstill have them.
Even though it's a differentversion of who they were.
(20:31):
There's just an innocence to it.
That.
Is inspiring, honestly.
And being a mother of a specialneeds child and the mother of a
typical child and seeing thespecial needs community and how
embracing of imperfection andjust acceptance that we all have
(20:52):
for each other.
Memory care mirrors that.
And yes, our residents in memorycare need an advocate.
They need the family member toensure that we're doing the
memory care is doing the rightthings the right way that
benefits them, that theirDignity's in tact.
And that they get all theservices that.
They promised.
(21:14):
It's just, they need love andacceptance more than anything.
And if you find a good memorycare and there's good people
inside that memory care, you'regoing to find that you're gonna
find that.
Dementia is hard.
It's hard to navigate.
And so finding the beauty and ateam effort and supporting your
loved one.
Is very, very important.
(21:36):
Because take it from me.
Uh, mother of a special needschild, it can get very, very
difficult.
Because I still want my son tobe something that he's not from
time to time.
And when I struggle with that.
The dynamic between.
My son and I can struggle.
(21:57):
Unintentionally because I just.
Want for him, something that isnot possible.
And that brings sadness.
But then when I remembereverything that he's overcome
and how much joy he brings to mylife and how he keeps our lives.
Set on what is really important,that brings so much joy.
(22:20):
And it refocuses us to what'sreally important in life.
So, yes, having to move a lovedone into a memory care is sad.
And it's traumatic and it'snothing anybody wants to do.
But there is good in it.
There is.
You can find joy in it.
And acceptance will be your bestfriend.
(22:44):
'cause a lot of people feelguilty about that.
And my favorite quote to them isif you didn't inject them with
the disease, then you don't haveto feel guilty.
Because all that's required ofparenting and caregiving is your
best.
And if your best is not goodenough, then the next best thing
(23:06):
is to find someone or somebodywho is.
Give yourself a little bit ofgrace.
You're doing a great job.
And you will do a great job.
If.
It has to come to that for youand for your family.
Skilled nursing is the samething as long-term care and a
(23:29):
nursing home.
So, what I want to say is thatthere may be nuance differences
(23:50):
that I'm not aware of becauseI've never worked inside of a
skilled nursing.
I have.
Dealt with several residents whohave lived in skilled nursing,
who has been in rehab inside ofthe skilled nursing.
But there are maybe small nuancedifferences, but a long-term
care can be interchanged with askilled nursing or a nursing
(24:11):
home.
It is.
Skilled medical needs.
First.
It's not necessarily customerservice based.
First.
Okay.
It is.
Bye all.
(24:33):
Intensive purposes, potentiallya last resort.
Um, it can be paid by Medicaid,but there are stipulations for
that.
Um, it is also private pay.
Long-term care.
Insurance will also pay and theVA lieutenants will also help
support.
Uh, family member.
(24:54):
If they qualify or have thosetypes of insurance policies.
Typically.
You have shared room options andalso you have in some
communities, um, a private roomoption, but neither one of them
are guaranteed in any singleimmunity.
(25:17):
You can go to a skilled nursingfacility for rehab for 21 days
that Medicare will pay for.
Sometimes we get confused onMedicare and Medicaid.
Medicare is an insurance thatwill pay for rehab.
Medicaid is also an insurancethat will pay for a skilled
nursing facility.
If the financial and medicalstipulations are met.
(25:42):
Medicaid is a federally.
It's a federal program that thestates run.
So each state has differentrules in regards to who gets
Medicaid.
And for what?
So asking those questions areimportant.
Um, I am not a Medicaid expertby any stretch of the
(26:02):
imagination.
But I do know that each state isdifferent and it is not a
guarantee that Medicaid will payfor a long-term care stay full
time.
There are things that you haveto qualify for and how your
loved one spins their money.
(26:23):
Is very, very important.
And so one of the things that Ialways suggest is a trust for
people and also to haveconversations about money and
decisions about money far inadvance before a decision has to
be made in regards to healthcareneeds.
(26:45):
But long-term care.
Skilled nursing or nursing home.
They're all the same.
They typically have 24 hour aday nursing.
Um, If you need wound care orany other type of skilled care
catheter, colostomy.
Um, diabetic care, all thoseoptions are there.
24 hours a day, seven days aweek, which is unlike assisted
(27:07):
living because in most statesassisted living does not even
require a nurse.
Assisted living is a socialmodel that helps with the
activities of daily living.
Whereas a skilled nursingnursing home long-term care
community.
Requirements or to literallyperform the care.
(27:29):
Perform the care that theresident needs, not necessarily
based on customer service, theyjust do it all.
With customer service,potentially not being their
number one goal, your skilledneeds, your medical needs are
their number one goal.
Customer service is still veryimportant.
But assisted living.
(27:49):
Would be the place to have amore customer service oriented.
Community based on myexperience.
Inside of the assistant insidethe senior living industry.
That is my short synopsis of thethree types of communities
inside the senior livingindustry.
(28:11):
And what I want to ask you to doas I dive in deeper to each
model, each product type insidethe assisted living industry.
I want you to think about whatquestions that you could ask.
Let's say air quotes, an expert.
Of the senior living industry.
So, if you could talk to anassisted living administrator, a
(28:31):
memory care administrator orsomebody who's helped thousands
of family members navigate theirjourney through the senior
living industry.
What would it be?
Because I'm going to dive intothe details of how to talk to
your loved one about seniorliving, how to overcome their
objections after they've alreadyagreed how to handle the moving
into an a community.
(28:51):
Um, how to talk to the peoplewho are working inside of the
community.
And I feel like ways to help youmake sure that your loved one
gets taken care of the best waypossible.
And that's by engaging staffmembers inside the community and
building relationships andconnection.
I'm going to dive into all ofthose details, but what would it
(29:11):
be that you would like me totalk about?
I would be happy.
Um, to read your emails, to, um,get your.
Posts and comments on socialmedia and to just create a
podcast for my listeners so Ican educate them the most.
On what they want the most,where they want to know the
(29:34):
most.
Again, my grandmother livedinside two of the communities
that I worked at.
My grandmother-in-law livedinside of the community that I
worked at.
I have experience from.
Every facet.
Of caring for my grandmother for15 years before she moved into
assisted living, being insidethe assisted living that she
worked at and all of the guiltfeelings that she.
(29:57):
So.
Uh, professionally was able todeliver to me every day for two
years, and then also dealingwith my in-laws and moving my
grandmother-in-law inside.
So.
I can answer a lot of questions.
I can talk to you about the wayI felt and how I overcame those
feelings.
And then watching her thriveinside of a community was really
(30:17):
one of the biggest joys of mylife.
So.
I am ready, willing, able toanswer those questions for you.
And I look forward to them.
Thank you for giving me yourtime today.
And I look forward to.
The next few episodes in thisseries of senior living.
Have a great day.
Hi, and welcome to the newestepisode of the, I have fallen
and need some help podcast.
I'm Erin Thompson, your host.
Thank you for being here today.
I am going to talk about thebasic.
Understanding and philosophies,I guess you could say.
Of the senior living industry.
(00:54):
And my goal is over the next.
Few episodes that I dive intoeach.
Type of community.
Independently.
So we're going to discussindependent living assisted
living memory care, and thenskilled nursing.
Now my background is primarilyinside assisted living in memory
(01:15):
care.
Independent living is notsomething that I've actually
worked in, but I have beenaround it and surrounded by it
many, my, basically my entirecareer.
So we can certainly go into thattopic, but where the meat of my
experience is in the assistedliving and memory care, we're
going to dive into.
Lots of different things.
(01:35):
Like.
How to talk to your loved onesabout the senior living
industry.
And how to actually make themove happen and use my own
personal experiences with mygrandmother, who I moved into my
community.
So stay tuned with me, but todaywe are going to talk primarily
just about an introduction intoeach type of community that the
(01:59):
senior living industry offers.
So we'll start with independentliving.
There are many types ofindependent living that you can
choose from.
They have.
You know, homes andneighborhoods that would be
considered.
Part of an independent livingcommunity complex.
They may have a, um, a, um,Guest house or a clubhouse, or
(02:26):
they may have a dining roomwhere you can come and get a
meal.
Then you would move into.
Another type of independentliving would be, uh, one that
has cottages.
And then also some that haveapartments complex altogether.
And there may be meal plans withthat.
(02:47):
But you would have theopportunity to have a kitchen
and the stove and all the thingsthat you need to prepare your
meals inside of thosecommunities.
Then you would have strictlyapartment living where there may
be two to three meals availableper day.
Uh, and then you would have onesindependent livings that are
connected to an assisted living.
(03:08):
Um, and different levels ofcare.
So independent living can be,again, like I said, homes, it
can be homes and apartments.
It could be apartment only.
There are indeed.
Um, There are financial based.
Independent livings.
And then there are private pay,independent livings.
(03:28):
My grandmother lived inside ofa, um, financially based.
Um, income-based independentliving apartment called the
HIPAA apartments.
And I'm not exactly sure howwidespread they are, but in the
know, in my area there and inboth in the surrounding
counties.
And they go based on the incomeof the senior.
(03:50):
Then there are the biggercorporation, independent living
communities.
Um, that are.
Private pay that are notincome-based at all.
And then you have.
The.
Continuum care, retirementcommunities that start off.
(04:11):
With the independent living thecottages, and then you have a
buy-in and then you would.
That big upfront costs that youpay would then cover you or.
Promise you that they're able tocare for your needs.
As your needs change.
And so each.
(04:33):
Opportunity, right.
Each community offers a set ofexperiences that either are good
for you or not good for you.
It just depends people that donot have children or that do not
have that set plan of people totake care of them.
Tend to really, if they have themoney.
(04:55):
Tend to really like those CCRC.
The continuum care retirementcommunities.
Where your needs will be met ateach level.
Inside that particularcommunity.
And that is certainly somethingthat is worth noting and
considering, but there are othertypes of communities that do not
(05:19):
offer that guarantee, but havethe product types that may be
able to help you.
So if you were an independentliving, but then you needed
assisted living, you would stillhave that in the same campus.
And then there's some of them,some of the communities that
also have memory care.
So then you would have the same.
Promise.
That, that next level of care isthere in the same.
(05:43):
Uh, community in the samecomplex, which.
Is almost like a promise, right?
Because it's there.
In the same.
Parking lot, so to speak.
So making your choice.
Uh, wisely is very important.
Independent living doesn'tnecessarily promise three meals
(06:06):
a day.
There are meal plans.
Are there no meal options?
And I believe that the, thenumber one premise of.
What independent living is aboutis to build the socialization
aspect.
Because isolation inside of ahome.
Is not good for anyone.
No one.
(06:27):
So what independent livingoffers.
Is that idea of socializationwith other people like minded
people.
And.
Maintenance free living.
Which let's face.
It is very nice.
Very nice.
Especially if you're in yourseventies and you can't do all
(06:47):
the things that you used to do,maintenance free living.
Would be worth it.
You know, if we had the money,it would be worth it.
Um, There's activities.
There's people dedicated toactivities.
There's constant, intentionaleffort to get people together,
(07:08):
to hang out, to build that.
Socialization aspect.
That is very important.
Uh, for somebody who is lookingfor that kind of entertainment
and again, each community isdifferent and what they offer.
And it's important for you toknow what your you, or your
loved one wants.
(07:28):
What type of socialization doyou want?
How important is socializationfor you?
And.
Is that a deciding factor foryou?
We'll take the income basedapartments, for example.
My grandmother lived there forabout 10 years and there is not
(07:49):
an activity director.
Nor is there.
Um, intentional activitiesscheduled each day.
That's led by an employee.
But there are resident ledactivities.
And that is something that isstill fun and it's still
engaging and it's stillsocializing.
(08:09):
And the residents who wereleading it have a great time and
they have support from theadministrator.
Um, or the complex manager who'srunning that particular
community.
But when you go into othercommunities that have that
designated activities director,then the level of opportunities
(08:31):
to engage.
Are there.
And.
They should be fun.
And worth going to.
That is the high points of whatindependent living is.
And we'll go more into that in alater episode.
The next category of seniorliving is assisted living.
(08:51):
And that is my happy place.
Assisted living.
Um, And just going over the highpoints of what assisted living
is and what they offer.
They offer just from a bigpicture standpoint, help with
activities of daily living.
So what are activities of dailyliving?
(09:13):
Bathing dressing, grooming.
Eating.
And toileting going to thebathroom.
So it's assistance with thoseactivities of daily living.
It's not necessarily full careof those activities of daily
living, but it is assistance.
So we can assist you withgetting dressed.
We can assist you in and out ofthe shower.
(09:34):
We can assist you in the shower.
We can assist you.
Um, going to the restroom and inall the forms that you may need
help in that.
Activity of daily living.
There are also full-timeactivities involved in every
single community, which is to meworth its weight in gold.
(09:55):
Um, the activity program insideof any assisted living industry
should really be what you lookat one of the top.
Three things that you look atwhen you're looking for assisted
living, because that is thepersonality of the community.
And if that activitiesdepartment is being supported
properly, it is the mainstay ofthe entire community.
How is each department helpingthat as that activities
(10:18):
director?
Because that's where theresidents are happy.
And so are they able to show youthe room can they talk to you
about the activities?
Are they involved?
Do they get that activitiesdirector involved?
In your tour of the community.
Another aspect of assistedliving.
That's very important for you tounderstand, and we will get into
(10:38):
this later, but just a tidbit.
If you're going to move a lovedone from a state.
From a certain state intoanother state.
You need to check what the rulesare for assisted living
residents in that state, becauseeach state has different rules
that they are governed by thatthe assisted living communities
(11:02):
are governed by.
So I'm an Alabama.
And so I'm surrounded by aFlorida and Mississippi.
And Florida has less stringent.
Rules of operating for theassisted living communities than
Alabama does.
And Mississippi runs completelydifferent.
And so I don't even know how tocompare the two.
(11:25):
So, if you were coming from adifferent state and your loved
one requires a certain level ofcare, it's important to ask the
community that you're lookingat, what the rules are for
governing their particularcommunity and how your loved one
will kind of fall into.
Um, Where they would fall intofor those.
(11:46):
Particular rules.
So I know that in Alabama, Let'sjust say cognition is a little
bit of a sticky situation thatFlorida is a little less sticky
about, right.
So some people choose to move toFlorida because there's a
potential.
(12:08):
That a resident could stay therelonger.
And an assisted living versus amemory care.
And my thoughts on that.
R.
There are pros and cons to everyscenario.
Alabama memory cares.
Have a tendency to be a littlebit more.
(12:28):
Active and involved.
Whereas Florida memory caresseem to be a little bit more.
A little bit less active andinvolved, and it's just the type
of resident that lives there.
So we'll go more into that indepth.
But the main thing is, is thatif you're going to move from
(12:50):
state to state, it's importantthat you are aware of the regs.
And the good assisted livingcommunity.
Would talk to you about thatupon assessment, or maybe even
upon your first tour there.
And when you talk about.
Um, moving from state to state.
I assisted livings.
Are not for.
A resident to stay potentiallyfor their entire life.
(13:14):
It can happen.
And it does happen a lot, butit's not necessarily something
that anyone can guarantee.
And I think it's important thatyou know, that going into the
tour.
And then if somebody doesguarantee that, that your loved
one can stay there for the restof their life.
Um, I wouldn't believe them.
(13:35):
Now again, each state isdifferent.
But they do have rules andassisted living is not a skilled
nursing community.
And if your loved one needsskilled nursing, Assistance
then.
Assisted living may not be thebest place for them.
(13:56):
Assisted living is great.
And it changes people's livesand I love it.
Um, and I think it's importantfor you to know that it is not a
failure to move into assistedliving.
It is not.
My grandmother moved intoassisted living at 95 into the
community that I worked at.
(14:16):
And it changed.
Her.
Life and in changing her life,it changed my life and my
mother's life who were herprimary caregivers.
The activities program, thecare, all of it, the security
that assisted living offers, itjust changed our lives.
And we waited too long.
But on the flip side, assistedliving is costly and not
(14:38):
everybody can afford it.
Although there are a lot ofstates that do offer Medicaid
waivers.
For the most part assistedliving is private pay.
There are options like VA aidand attendance.
Long-term care insurance andthen families.
Getting together and.
Paying the difference that maybeyour loved one.
(15:00):
I cannot afford, which is whatmy family did for my
grandmother.
But again, we'll get into thatin later details.
Just no.
That assisted living is notfailure.
If you move a loved one in itwill change their lives.
Um, primarily private pay, butsome states have Medicaid
options and each state hasdifferent rules and assisted
(15:23):
living is primarily offeringactivities of daily living.
For your elderly loved one withsocialization that will help
your loved one.
Thrive.
That is almost a guarantee.
If your loved one.
We'll come down and engage.
They will eventually, sometimesit takes a little, little
(15:45):
prompting little patients, butfor the most part.
Most residents will engage atsome point.
Memory care is basicallyassisted living, but in a
secured environment andtypically.
Um, Offers.
More care.
In a concentrated cognitiveeffort than assisted living.
(16:08):
Does.
So.
The activities of daily livingare still the same.
They're just more cognitivecentered.
Then physically centered, likein assisted living, so to speak
again, some states aredifferent, so you would have
more dementia maybe at a littleadvanced.
(16:29):
Rate in some other states thanwhat I'm necessarily used to.
So assisted living could alsooffer.
A lot of cognitive queuing andactivities of daily living.
But I have seen memory careoffer in the state of Alabama.
Cognitive queuing would be.
You know, let's put our socks onhere's your first sock.
(16:51):
Let's put it on your first foot.
Here's your second sock.
Let's put it on the other one.
I'm going to grab your shirtnow, lift your hands up and then
we're going to pull it over.
Do you have it?
Can you do it the rest of theway?
Those are examples of cognitivequeuing.
Most memory cares are primarilymade for people with dementia
who are not safe.
(17:13):
Um, and are constantly exitseeking.
So exit seeking, wanderingpacing, um, eloping, which is
basically walking away is who.
The memory care is made for.
We have had had residents whowalked out of assisted living
(17:33):
say, and they were going to thestore to get some sugar.
We have had residents say theywere going to their daughter's
house.
Or they were going to work orthey were trying to catch the
bus to the city that they livedin.
Those are all examples of whymemory care was made.
And it's great because memoryit's still a customer service
(17:53):
based element just like assistedliving is, and it's not
necessarily skilled first.
Like skilled nursing islong-term care.
And that's the thing aboutassisted living is that it is
primarily private pay.
And so it is customer servicebased.
First, whereas nursing homeslong-term care, skilled nursing
(18:14):
communities are skilled inmedical needs.
First.
Customer service.
Back a few notches from.
Being the top priority.
But memory care is stillcustomer service based.
And a lot of activityprogramming.
For people who suffer fromcognitive impairment.
(18:41):
I love memory care.
I love it.
Um, I have a unique son.
Um, so I can tell you thatautism and Alzheimer's or
dementia.
Um, mirror each other very, verymuch.
And so it's literally, you know,two people going down or up the
developmental hill.
Um, Uh, in opposite directions,but a lot of the same caregiving
(19:06):
type.
Of needs.
Are there.
What I have noticed in regardsto being in a memory care.
Is that there's a level offreedom.
And a level of.
Expectation.
(19:26):
That just.
Allow success to happen.
Expectations can really stresspeople out.
You know, so if you have a lovedone who has dementia and you're
taking them to an environmentthat is loud and noisy and
they're expected to do thingsthat they would normally do,
(19:47):
that maybe they're not capableof anymore.
You could potentially seebehaviors for that.
Whereas in memory care, thereare no expectations.
We just allow you to be who youare and there's freedom in that.
I had so much fun singing anddancing with my memory care
residents, just because I coulddo it.
(20:07):
And no one would judge me.
And that's the beauty.
Of loving someone with dementiais.
Just allowing them to be whothey are.
And serve them where they are.
And being thankful that youstill have them.
Even though it's a differentversion of who they were.
(20:31):
There's just an innocence to it.
That.
Is inspiring, honestly.
And being a mother of a specialneeds child and the mother of a
typical child and seeing thespecial needs community and how
embracing of imperfection andjust acceptance that we all have
(20:52):
for each other.
Memory care mirrors that.
And yes, our residents in memorycare need an advocate.
They need the family member toensure that we're doing the
memory care is doing the rightthings the right way that
benefits them, that theirDignity's in tact.
And that they get all theservices that.
They promised.
(21:14):
It's just, they need love andacceptance more than anything.
And if you find a good memorycare and there's good people
inside that memory care, you'regoing to find that you're gonna
find that.
Dementia is hard.
It's hard to navigate.
And so finding the beauty and ateam effort and supporting your
loved one.
Is very, very important.
(21:36):
Because take it from me.
Uh, mother of a special needschild, it can get very, very
difficult.
Because I still want my son tobe something that he's not from
time to time.
And when I struggle with that.
The dynamic between.
My son and I can struggle.
(21:57):
Unintentionally because I just.
Want for him, something that isnot possible.
And that brings sadness.
But then when I remembereverything that he's overcome
and how much joy he brings to mylife and how he keeps our lives.
Set on what is really important,that brings so much joy.
(22:20):
And it refocuses us to what'sreally important in life.
So, yes, having to move a lovedone into a memory care is sad.
And it's traumatic and it'snothing anybody wants to do.
But there is good in it.
There is.
You can find joy in it.
And acceptance will be your bestfriend.
(22:44):
'cause a lot of people feelguilty about that.
And my favorite quote to them isif you didn't inject them with
the disease, then you don't haveto feel guilty.
Because all that's required ofparenting and caregiving is your
best.
And if your best is not goodenough, then the next best thing
(23:06):
is to find someone or somebodywho is.
Give yourself a little bit ofgrace.
You're doing a great job.
And you will do a great job.
If.
It has to come to that for youand for your family.
Skilled nursing is the samething as long-term care and a
(23:29):
nursing home.
So, what I want to say is thatthere may be nuance differences
(23:50):
that I'm not aware of becauseI've never worked inside of a
skilled nursing.
I have.
Dealt with several residents whohave lived in skilled nursing,
who has been in rehab inside ofthe skilled nursing.
But there are maybe small nuancedifferences, but a long-term
care can be interchanged with askilled nursing or a nursing
(24:11):
home.
It is.
Skilled medical needs.
First.
It's not necessarily customerservice based.
First.
Okay.
It is.
Bye all.
(24:33):
Intensive purposes, potentiallya last resort.
Um, it can be paid by Medicaid,but there are stipulations for
that.
Um, it is also private pay.
Long-term care.
Insurance will also pay and theVA lieutenants will also help
support.
Uh, family member.
(24:54):
If they qualify or have thosetypes of insurance policies.
Typically.
You have shared room options andalso you have in some
communities, um, a private roomoption, but neither one of them
are guaranteed in any singleimmunity.
(25:17):
You can go to a skilled nursingfacility for rehab for 21 days
that Medicare will pay for.
Sometimes we get confused onMedicare and Medicaid.
Medicare is an insurance thatwill pay for rehab.
Medicaid is also an insurancethat will pay for a skilled
nursing facility.
If the financial and medicalstipulations are met.
(25:42):
Medicaid is a federally.
It's a federal program that thestates run.
So each state has differentrules in regards to who gets
Medicaid.
And for what?
So asking those questions areimportant.
Um, I am not a Medicaid expertby any stretch of the
(26:02):
imagination.
But I do know that each state isdifferent and it is not a
guarantee that Medicaid will payfor a long-term care stay full
time.
There are things that you haveto qualify for and how your
loved one spins their money.
(26:23):
Is very, very important.
And so one of the things that Ialways suggest is a trust for
people and also to haveconversations about money and
decisions about money far inadvance before a decision has to
be made in regards to healthcareneeds.
(26:45):
But long-term care.
Skilled nursing or nursing home.
They're all the same.
They typically have 24 hour aday nursing.
Um, If you need wound care orany other type of skilled care
catheter, colostomy.
Um, diabetic care, all thoseoptions are there.
24 hours a day, seven days aweek, which is unlike assisted
(27:07):
living because in most statesassisted living does not even
require a nurse.
Assisted living is a socialmodel that helps with the
activities of daily living.
Whereas a skilled nursingnursing home long-term care
community.
Requirements or to literallyperform the care.
(27:29):
Perform the care that theresident needs, not necessarily
based on customer service, theyjust do it all.
With customer service,potentially not being their
number one goal, your skilledneeds, your medical needs are
their number one goal.
Customer service is still veryimportant.
But assisted living.
(27:49):
Would be the place to have amore customer service oriented.
Community based on myexperience.
Inside of the assistant insidethe senior living industry.
That is my short synopsis of thethree types of communities
inside the senior livingindustry.
(28:11):
And what I want to ask you to doas I dive in deeper to each
model, each product type insidethe assisted living industry.
I want you to think about whatquestions that you could ask.
Let's say air quotes, an expert.
Of the senior living industry.
So, if you could talk to anassisted living administrator, a
(28:31):
memory care administrator orsomebody who's helped thousands
of family members navigate theirjourney through the senior
living industry.
What would it be?
Because I'm going to dive intothe details of how to talk to
your loved one about seniorliving, how to overcome their
objections after they've alreadyagreed how to handle the moving
into an a community.
(28:51):
Um, how to talk to the peoplewho are working inside of the
community.
And I feel like ways to help youmake sure that your loved one
gets taken care of the best waypossible.
And that's by engaging staffmembers inside the community and
building relationships andconnection.
I'm going to dive into all ofthose details, but what would it
(29:11):
be that you would like me totalk about?
I would be happy.
Um, to read your emails, to, um,get your.
Posts and comments on socialmedia and to just create a
podcast for my listeners so Ican educate them the most.
On what they want the most,where they want to know the
(29:34):
most.
Again, my grandmother livedinside two of the communities
that I worked at.
My grandmother-in-law livedinside of the community that I
worked at.
I have experience from.
Every facet.
Of caring for my grandmother for15 years before she moved into
assisted living, being insidethe assisted living that she
worked at and all of the guiltfeelings that she.
(29:57):
So.
Uh, professionally was able todeliver to me every day for two
years, and then also dealingwith my in-laws and moving my
grandmother-in-law inside.
So.
I can answer a lot of questions.
I can talk to you about the wayI felt and how I overcame those
feelings.
And then watching her thriveinside of a community was really
(30:17):
one of the biggest joys of mylife.
So.
I am ready, willing, able toanswer those questions for you.
And I look forward to them.
Thank you for giving me yourtime today.
And I look forward to.
The next few episodes in thisseries of senior living.
Have a great day.
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