May 11, 2025 • 18 mins
What happens when you look up at the night sky and see something that defies explanation? That feeling of wonder—and sometimes fear—has inspired humanity's greatest questions for centuries. Today we're unpacking the science behind UFO classifications with a deep dive into J. Allen Hynek's seven-point scale of extraterrestrial encounters.
From fleeting glimpses of strange lights (level one) to full-blown abduction scenarios (level seven), this episode walks you through the increasingly intimate ways humans report contact with the unknown. We explore what separates a simple misidentified aircraft from genuine anomalies, and what happens when encounters leave physical evidence or involve face-to-face meetings with non-human entities. As one of our guests eloquently puts it: "I'm unclear on why they would travel so far just to stick something up some hillbilly's ass"—a question that perfectly captures our collective confusion about alleged alien motivations.
The conversation takes an unexpected turn when we hear a compelling firsthand account from Las Vegas, where specialized night-vision equipment captured objects performing impossible aerial maneuvers at speeds exceeding 1,000 mph. The witness's detailed description of objects appearing, disappearing, and reappearing across the Vegas skyline challenges conventional explanations and reminds us why this topic continues to fascinate despite scientific skepticism.
We lighten the mood with an exploration of Chuck Norris jokes—those hyperbolic claims about the martial arts legend that became an internet sensation. "Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain" and "Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in its chin; its descendants are now known as giraffes" showcase how modern mythology forms in the digital age. Just as we create narratives about potential visitors from beyond our planet, we craft larger-than-life legends about our fellow humans.
Whether you're a dedicated UFO researcher, a casual sky-watcher, or just someone who enjoys contemplating the possibility that we're not alone in the universe, this episode offers both scientific framework and human stories to fuel your curiosity. Subscribe now and join our ongoing exploration of life's most fascinating mysteries—both cosmic and comedic.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
All right, let's see if he answers.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Our call has been forwarded to an automated voice
messaging system.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, I guess that's a good start to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
All right Is not available.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Let's uh.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages
at this time.
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This guy, literally I'm surprised he can use a
fucking toaster.
Oh, there it goes.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
All right, this is bad.
Yeah, of course it just went inthe other room.
I was looking for my white hairand then they got to it on the
last ring, but anyway, there wasa guy, j Allen Hynek, and he
created a scale.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Basically he was a professor of astronomy.
He was some other things too, Iread, but that was the biggest
thing that stuck out to me.
So he was a pretty educated guyand he created a scale in the
70s that basically judged howintense your encounter was.
So you know, one being likewell, I'll just read the scale.
(01:05):
What do you think, owen, shouldI just tell the people the
information?
Yeah, okay, cool, informationis power.
Yes, indeed, so okay.
So the first one is nocturnallights, bright lights seen in
the night sky, often mistakenfor stars or other celestial
objects, so, okay.
So I don't know exactly whatthat means, but whatever.
(01:26):
Two daytime disks hey, we'regetting good here.
Round or disk-shaped objectsseen in the daytime sky, often
mistaken for aircraft or otherman-made objects oh, okay.
So the first one might be likeorbs or something right,
something to that effect in thesky.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
And then number three yeah, and I think everybody's
probably seen something thatthey weren't exactly sure what
it was.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Right.
So that's kind of like the likewho knows, right?
Okay, I get it, that makessense.
That's a good number.
One, right?
Okay, yeah, so three, three myfriend is radar or visual
reports, which just means I feel, feel that there's some like
scientific evidence to somethingbeing funny.
So that's reports of UFOsightings that involve both a
(02:08):
visual sighting and a radardetection of an object.
That's pretty cool.
Okay, so that's getting bigger.
Number four close encounters ofthe first kind Reports of UFO
sightings that involve a visualsighting of an object at a
relatively close distance.
So use your judgment on theclose distance, I suppose, make
out some details, I'm guessing.
Five close encounters of thesecond kind Reports of UFO
(02:32):
sightings that involve physicalevidence, such as damage to the
environment or interference withan individual's car or
equipment.
So like your radio flickeringand it's playing some weird jazz
station and then all of asudden it's playing country and
Dwight Yoakam and stuff rightDancing in the streets.
We need to not do that, man,because we're going to get
(02:53):
somebody's going to get outthere and it's going to be like
popular on TikTok, right youknow?
And then it's going to be.
Yeah, no, thanks.
Okay, I just hope that doesn'tisn't too much of an inside joke
.
You, I just hope that isn't toomuch of an inside joke.
You gotta, like, go back toanother episode and check it out
.
I believe it's censorship.
So back to the UFOs.
Here we are.
Number six Close encounters ofthe third kind Reports of UFO
(03:22):
sightings that involve theobservation of beings or
entities associated with the UFO.
So I mean, like walking arounda craft that maybe landed or
something you know, like they'recoming out and they wave at you
, I guess.
So it's like you physically seea being.
Now at this point, whateverthose beings may be, right,
that's kind of fun to say.
Whatever those beings may be,All right.
Number seven, which is the bigdog here we got, we got to the
(03:44):
end.
I should have put a drum rollhere, or something.
Number seven abduction,occupant cases.
Reports of UFO sightings thatinvolved that alleged kidnapping
or abduction of an individualby beings associated with the
UFO.
So this is our probing and such,my friend.
This is the real meat of thestory.
What's going on Like?
Why are people being probed?
Who's probing and such?
My friend, this is probablythis is the real meat of the
(04:05):
story.
What's going on Like?
Why are people being probed?
Who's probing them?
Owen, Do you know?
Not you.
I'm not saying you're probingthem.
I'm saying do you know who'sprobing them?
Certainly not.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No, I'm unclear on why they would travel so far,
just to like stick something up,some hillbilly's ass.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I don't get it either .
There's something there.
And here's Apocalypse.
Pit of Doomsday Productions,notorious North Town native, las
Vegas, nevada, with his take onthings I got something on video
and shit.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Dude, I'm sitting up here watching Paranormal caught
on camera.
This motherfucker in Vegasabout like eight years ago he
makes money off.
He has like night vision, sometype of fucking optical night
vision type of shit where hejust would be watching the sky
so you can't see it with thehuman eye.
(04:59):
But this motherfucker, theyshow some shit and he stays in
somewhere and that's likefucking like up north, like
literally like maybe 20, maybeabout like a good 30, 45 minutes
from here where I'm at.
He was aiming at the fuckingmountain.
I could step out here and seewhere he was aiming, at Blue
(05:20):
Diamond, and he was like hewatched the motherfucking shit.
His own paranormal camera too.
You can Google this shit.
He caught a motherfuckingspaceship.
Dude.
This motherfucker was in the lowdown on the motherfucking low
with the mountain.
Then it rose up and themotherfucker soared.
It soared over by BlackMountain.
Then next thing you know he'slike now it's by Nellis Air
(05:42):
Force Base Over there where Iused to stay Right, and he said
he clocked it for the speed thatit was going and he said it
took him about like two or threeminutes to get from where it
was all the way the fuck overhere from one side of Vegas to
the motherfucking northeast sideof Vegas, and so the way he
clocked it he said themotherfucker had to be traveling
(06:04):
at least over 1,000 miles perhour.
So I'm sitting up there.
I got a little buzz and shit.
I said man, let's just stepoutside and just look at the sky
.
And then I noticed it wasn't nostars out, it wasn't even no
fucking usually be like fuckinghelicopters and shit flying by
and you could see the planestaking off from McCarran.
So I'm like, okay, what thefuck is this blinking back here
(06:31):
and shit.
And then it shows itself.
Then it fade out, then themotherfucking next thing, you
know it shows itself.
It was in a different area.
Then next thing, I know Inotice like two other different
little motherfucking specks likethat doing that.
So I grabbed my phone, startedrecording and shit Got like a
minute 49, 45 seconds of thisshit, right, and you can
(06:54):
literally see what I was talkingabout.
As I was filming this shit Iwas like look, there's no stars
in the sky, ain't no windblowing this, it's hot as fuck.
It was after 12 o'clock, right,and I'm like, just pay
attention, and then you're goingto see that motherfucker pop up
and then you can see themotherfucker disappear, Then you
(07:14):
can see the motherfucker pop upsomewhere else.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
I was like, oh shit, yeah, he was like man, it's like
Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro,where you know they just like to
do parades.
I think there wasn't really anexplanation on that.
But they do do St Patrick's Dayin Brazil and get wild and
booty, shake and whatever thehell, throw beads.
So that's.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
(07:38):
I don't know what they do inBrazil for St Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
They probably eat better than dyed green food
Right, which, incidentally, Iread something just this morning
that somewhat came out of.
During the potato famine of the1840s, when it was the worst, I
(08:02):
guess, people resorted toeating grass.
Oh my, and so Irish folktalesspeak of people having green
mouths as they died.
So yeah, when you're dying overgreen and your food green, your
beer green.
It's kind of a dark historythere.
Not to be a downer, but it'slike a legit thing.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Wipe that smile off my face.
So it's like a legit thing to,if it gives me bliss, wipe that
smile off my face.
Yeah, so it's like a legitthing to dye your food green.
Why, though or is that just acrazy play on words that only I
recognize?
Because they're dying with agreen face, you know?
So you're dying green, right?
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, I don't think there'sthat much to that.
(08:44):
I think it's just me being alittle stoned.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Anyway, but I did read somebody said that they
still like the tradition becauseit also reminds them to be
grateful for everything thatthey have now and can be feeding
their family.
So we died green food insteadof dying with a grass-stained
mouth, Right, yeah?
Well, it's a dark thought.
(09:08):
It reminds just anotherreminder to like appreciate
everything you have.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Hey, you know what I'm saying High five from
Washington, because that wasprobably the coolest fucking one
so far.
Three, no two legit black beltsand then two honorary, one
being Brazilian jiu-jitsu andthen the other Judo.
So, and then obviously he justChuck Norris is a freaking icon
right, well, yeah, I mean, inthe beginning there was nothing.
Then Chuck Norris roundhousekicked nothing and told it to
(09:40):
get a job.
Damn, did nothing get a job?
I bet it did.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We're here.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yes, yes, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But then the dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris
the wrong way.
Once you know what happened tothem, no, I do not, oh, I do.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh, my God, I didn't know it was going to go that
dark.
I thought he pet one orsomething.
Anyway, let's go forward.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
The chief expert of Chuck Norris is pain, oh man.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
The cost is high, it's supreme.
It's like a Walker Texas Rangerepisode, I feel.
You know where he gets the badguys.
I just watched one recently,which is not a thing I do.
I just did that this morningand they busted some
bodybuilders who were apparentlysmuggling cocaine.
They look like flour.
Yeah, sweet yeah Walker.
(10:26):
And looked like flour.
Yeah, that was Sweet yeahWalker.
And my mom, I told her that wewere going to do this and she's
like well, all I know aboutChuck Norris is that he was a
karate guy and he had a reallycheesy TV show, damn.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Chuck, does she know that when Chuck Norris goes
swimming he doesn't get wet, thewater gets chucked, chuck.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Or that Chuck.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Where do you do that at?
Hmm, just saying.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I mean, what's the bowling alley going to tell him
not to?
It's Chuck Norris.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, damn right.
Okay, fair enough, these werepretty popular.
I do remember in the World ofWarcraft game that there was a
Chuck Norris joke takeover for along period of time and to the
effect that they even made aSuper Bowl commercial with said
jokes in it.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
So these are great.
Yeah, it was kind of a hugething in like the mid-2000s to
like 2010,.
It seems like People just cameup with hundreds of them, oh man
, and some of them werebrilliant.
Honestly, some of them were notvery good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Well, yeah, it's like a knock-knock joke, but it's a
Chuck Norris joke, right?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah, on the seventh day, God rested, chuck Norris
took over, oh.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Take that Christianity.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Chuck Norris also counted to infinity twice.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Ooh, take that eons.
Alright, man, You'rebrightening my day.
I hope y'all are out there andyou're driving and you're
listening to this.
Just you know, Let it make yourday that much better and think
good.
Chuck Norris.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Who are these two old people talking about?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I tell stories.
Why are there cowboys?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I've been asked that Some kids pee their name in the
snow.
Chuck Norris can pee his nameinto concrete.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
What does he have?
That's rough.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Okay anyway, chuck Norris doesn't use spellcheck.
If he happens to misspell aword, oxford will change the
spelling.
Of course they will.
It's nice of them.
Yeah, they're very kind.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelieon a unicycle.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Is that kind of like a unihop?
Wait, I don't even know howthat works.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Exactly, yeah, I get it.
He's that badass.
I mean, you know, chuck Norrisstands faster than anyone can
run.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
See, these are clever .
I agree with that.
It's a bit funny.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Champions are the breakfast of.
Agree with that, it's a bitfunny.
Champions are the breakfasts ofChuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolvingdoors.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
That is impressive.
I just imagined how that wouldgo.
It would be like a freakingtornado or something in a
cartoon.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Jeff once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh, no, oh, no, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoeswith his feet.
What I didn't expect.
That.
Who had the time and the talent?
I mean God bless, but what isyour occupation that you have
(13:49):
the time to sit around and justdo this?
Oh, I guess I could ask myselfthe same question.
Right, I do know Chuck Norriscan build a snowman out of rain.
Of course Chuck Norris canbuild a snowman out of rain.
Of course Chuck Norris oncepunched a man in the soul.
Hell yeah, he did.
(14:10):
Chuck Norris can beat the sunin a staring contest.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh no, oh no, chuck, son you got Chuck Chuck, you got
Chuck son Wait.
Yeah, son you got Chuck Chuck,you got Chuck son Wait yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
All right.
Chuck Norris once kicked ahorse in its chin.
Its descendants are now knownas Giraffe.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's good, that's a good one.
I like that one too.
That one's good, damn, chuck.
This is your legacy, bro.
This is Chuck Norris' legacy.
You know, I bet you like,because I kind of forget what
Chuck Norris has done outsidebeing tough and in jokes.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, you remember certainthings, but this is what I
remember, chuck, your legacy Allthat hard work, all your years
(14:55):
of training, training with BruceLee and such and all these
great people.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And here you are, and he was a total good sport about
it.
I think it was a sports showthat he would come on every so
often and read some of thesejokes.
You know he was.
Yeah, he could have been likeoh, they're making fun of me,
but he just seems a good sportabout it.
So, right, no, what do youexpect from someone Chuck Norris
(15:21):
who doesn't breathe?
He holds the air hostage.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh yeah, hey want to hear something funny.
I thought about you rememberBig League 2?
Not even.
Oh goddammit, I don't know if Ilike this episode.
Were people just snarky andshitty in the 80s?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Because fuck that If they were out of cocaine, which
remember that cocaine use in the80s was so rampant, people were
actually convinced that GeorgeMichael was straight, just
saying Not that there's anythingwrong with that, but it's just
like.
Come on, people, right.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, no.
Anyway, it's kind of like oneof those ones like it's like
when Rosie O'Donnell came out.
Yeah, it's kind of like One ofthose ones Like it's like when
Rosie O'Donnell Came out.
It's like, okay, sure, likeyeah, makes sense to me.
Yeah, nobody's shocked here.
So Another British one that waskind of Whatever To snog Is to
kish passionately and that's one.
(16:17):
And then Telly Telly came aboutIn the 80s, so that was kind of
cool.
Those are neat.
I like that.
So Swatch Watches and EctoCooler I did see the Swatch
Watch, ecto Cooler.
Was that like the Slimer drink?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, the Hi-C.
I remember, yeah, hi-c.
Just like let's get our kidsall hopped up on sugar.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, yeah, very high .
Some church-colored dye yeah,that's great, go Slimer.
Slimer's a very good guy.
I followed his teachings as akid.
There's a lot of great thingsthat came out of the 80s, like
Bill Murray's career mainlysparked from the 80s, and that's
fantastic.
So let's not all just trashthis lazy slang from the 80s.
I feel like a lot of it'spretty stupid, but I don't know.
(17:04):
That's just me coming fromwhere I come from Like neon
animal print yeah, what thehell's going on?
It doesn't even make any sense.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Motley Crue.
Look at you guys Like it wasn'tjust women.
Yeah, High-waisted jeans forpeople and stuff, Not choice.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
No high-waisted jeans for people.
Not choice, not choice at all.
I don't feel like choice issomething you should try to
bring back, my friend no, I'mnot going to.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I didn't use much of this flag.
I'm merely pointing out yeah,you know me, hey everybody out
there.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Thanks for listening to our 100th episode recap, part
1.
Hope everybody out there is.
Thanks for listening to our100th episode recap, part one.
Hope everybody out there isenjoying their day or their
evening.
Yeah, I guess I'll say it forOwen.
Much love everybody, thank you.
All right, let's see if he answers.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Our call has been forwarded to an automated voice
messaging system.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Well, I guess that's a good start to the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
All right Is not available.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Let's uh.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages
at this time.
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
This guy, literally I'm surprised he can use a
fucking toaster.
Oh, there it goes.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
All right, this is bad.
Yeah, of course it just went inthe other room.
I was looking for my white hairand then they got to it on the
last ring, but anyway, there wasa guy, j Allen Hynek, and he
created a scale.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Basically he was a professor of astronomy.
He was some other things too, Iread, but that was the biggest
thing that stuck out to me.
So he was a pretty educated guyand he created a scale in the
70s that basically judged howintense your encounter was.
So you know, one being likewell, I'll just read the scale.
(01:05):
What do you think, owen, shouldI just tell the people the
information?
Yeah, okay, cool, informationis power.
Yes, indeed, so okay.
So the first one is nocturnallights, bright lights seen in
the night sky, often mistakenfor stars or other celestial
objects, so, okay.
So I don't know exactly whatthat means, but whatever.
(01:26):
Two daytime disks hey, we'regetting good here.
Round or disk-shaped objectsseen in the daytime sky, often
mistaken for aircraft or otherman-made objects oh, okay.
So the first one might be likeorbs or something right,
something to that effect in thesky.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
And then number three yeah, and I think everybody's
probably seen something thatthey weren't exactly sure what
it was.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Right.
So that's kind of like the likewho knows, right?
Okay, I get it, that makessense.
That's a good number.
One, right?
Okay, yeah, so three, three myfriend is radar or visual
reports, which just means I feel, feel that there's some like
scientific evidence to somethingbeing funny.
So that's reports of UFOsightings that involve both a
(02:08):
visual sighting and a radardetection of an object.
That's pretty cool.
Okay, so that's getting bigger.
Number four close encounters ofthe first kind Reports of UFO
sightings that involve a visualsighting of an object at a
relatively close distance.
So use your judgment on theclose distance, I suppose, make
out some details, I'm guessing.
Five close encounters of thesecond kind Reports of UFO
(02:32):
sightings that involve physicalevidence, such as damage to the
environment or interference withan individual's car or
equipment.
So like your radio flickeringand it's playing some weird jazz
station and then all of asudden it's playing country and
Dwight Yoakam and stuff rightDancing in the streets.
We need to not do that, man,because we're going to get
(02:53):
somebody's going to get outthere and it's going to be like
popular on TikTok, right youknow?
And then it's going to be.
Yeah, no, thanks.
Okay, I just hope that doesn'tisn't too much of an inside joke
.
You, I just hope that isn't toomuch of an inside joke.
You gotta, like, go back toanother episode and check it out
.
I believe it's censorship.
So back to the UFOs.
Here we are.
Number six Close encounters ofthe third kind Reports of UFO
(03:22):
sightings that involve theobservation of beings or
entities associated with the UFO.
So I mean, like walking arounda craft that maybe landed or
something you know, like they'recoming out and they wave at you
, I guess.
So it's like you physically seea being.
Now at this point, whateverthose beings may be, right,
that's kind of fun to say.
Whatever those beings may be,All right.
Number seven, which is the bigdog here we got, we got to the
(03:44):
end.
I should have put a drum rollhere, or something.
Number seven abduction,occupant cases.
Reports of UFO sightings thatinvolved that alleged kidnapping
or abduction of an individualby beings associated with the
UFO.
So this is our probing and such,my friend.
This is the real meat of thestory.
What's going on Like?
Why are people being probed?
Who's probing and such?
My friend, this is probablythis is the real meat of the
(04:05):
story.
What's going on Like?
Why are people being probed?
Who's probing them?
Owen, Do you know?
Not you.
I'm not saying you're probingthem.
I'm saying do you know who'sprobing them?
Certainly not.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
No, I'm unclear on why they would travel so far,
just to like stick something up,some hillbilly's ass.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I don't get it either .
There's something there.
And here's Apocalypse.
Pit of Doomsday Productions,notorious North Town native, las
Vegas, nevada, with his take onthings I got something on video
and shit.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Dude, I'm sitting up here watching Paranormal caught
on camera.
This motherfucker in Vegasabout like eight years ago he
makes money off.
He has like night vision, sometype of fucking optical night
vision type of shit where hejust would be watching the sky
so you can't see it with thehuman eye.
(04:59):
But this motherfucker, theyshow some shit and he stays in
somewhere and that's likefucking like up north, like
literally like maybe 20, maybeabout like a good 30, 45 minutes
from here where I'm at.
He was aiming at the fuckingmountain.
I could step out here and seewhere he was aiming, at Blue
(05:20):
Diamond, and he was like hewatched the motherfucking shit.
His own paranormal camera too.
You can Google this shit.
He caught a motherfuckingspaceship.
Dude.
This motherfucker was in the lowdown on the motherfucking low
with the mountain.
Then it rose up and themotherfucker soared.
It soared over by BlackMountain.
Then next thing you know he'slike now it's by Nellis Air
(05:42):
Force Base Over there where Iused to stay Right, and he said
he clocked it for the speed thatit was going and he said it
took him about like two or threeminutes to get from where it
was all the way the fuck overhere from one side of Vegas to
the motherfucking northeast sideof Vegas, and so the way he
clocked it he said themotherfucker had to be traveling
(06:04):
at least over 1,000 miles perhour.
So I'm sitting up there.
I got a little buzz and shit.
I said man, let's just stepoutside and just look at the sky
.
And then I noticed it wasn't nostars out, it wasn't even no
fucking usually be like fuckinghelicopters and shit flying by
and you could see the planestaking off from McCarran.
So I'm like, okay, what thefuck is this blinking back here
(06:31):
and shit.
And then it shows itself.
Then it fade out, then themotherfucking next thing, you
know it shows itself.
It was in a different area.
Then next thing, I know Inotice like two other different
little motherfucking specks likethat doing that.
So I grabbed my phone, startedrecording and shit Got like a
minute 49, 45 seconds of thisshit, right, and you can
(06:54):
literally see what I was talkingabout.
As I was filming this shit Iwas like look, there's no stars
in the sky, ain't no windblowing this, it's hot as fuck.
It was after 12 o'clock, right,and I'm like, just pay
attention, and then you're goingto see that motherfucker pop up
and then you can see themotherfucker disappear, Then you
(07:14):
can see the motherfucker pop upsomewhere else.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
I was like, oh shit, yeah, he was like man, it's like
Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro,where you know they just like to
do parades.
I think there wasn't really anexplanation on that.
But they do do St Patrick's Dayin Brazil and get wild and
booty, shake and whatever thehell, throw beads.
So that's.
I don't know.
I have no idea.
(07:38):
I don't know what they do inBrazil for St Patrick's Day.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
They probably eat better than dyed green food
Right, which, incidentally, Iread something just this morning
that somewhat came out of.
During the potato famine of the1840s, when it was the worst, I
(08:02):
guess, people resorted toeating grass.
Oh my, and so Irish folktalesspeak of people having green
mouths as they died.
So yeah, when you're dying overgreen and your food green, your
beer green.
It's kind of a dark historythere.
Not to be a downer, but it'slike a legit thing.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Wipe that smile off my face.
So it's like a legit thing to,if it gives me bliss, wipe that
smile off my face.
Yeah, so it's like a legitthing to dye your food green.
Why, though or is that just acrazy play on words that only I
recognize?
Because they're dying with agreen face, you know?
So you're dying green, right?
Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, I don't think there'sthat much to that.
(08:44):
I think it's just me being alittle stoned.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Anyway, but I did read somebody said that they
still like the tradition becauseit also reminds them to be
grateful for everything thatthey have now and can be feeding
their family.
So we died green food insteadof dying with a grass-stained
mouth, Right, yeah?
Well, it's a dark thought.
(09:08):
It reminds just anotherreminder to like appreciate
everything you have.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Hey, you know what I'm saying High five from
Washington, because that wasprobably the coolest fucking one
so far.
Three, no two legit black beltsand then two honorary, one
being Brazilian jiu-jitsu andthen the other Judo.
So, and then obviously he justChuck Norris is a freaking icon
right, well, yeah, I mean, inthe beginning there was nothing.
Then Chuck Norris roundhousekicked nothing and told it to
(09:40):
get a job.
Damn, did nothing get a job?
I bet it did.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
We're here.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yes, yes, that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
But then the dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris
the wrong way.
Once you know what happened tothem, no, I do not, oh, I do.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh, my God, I didn't know it was going to go that
dark.
I thought he pet one orsomething.
Anyway, let's go forward.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
The chief expert of Chuck Norris is pain, oh man.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
The cost is high, it's supreme.
It's like a Walker Texas Rangerepisode, I feel.
You know where he gets the badguys.
I just watched one recently,which is not a thing I do.
I just did that this morningand they busted some
bodybuilders who were apparentlysmuggling cocaine.
They look like flour.
Yeah, sweet yeah Walker.
(10:26):
And looked like flour.
Yeah, that was Sweet yeahWalker.
And my mom, I told her that wewere going to do this and she's
like well, all I know aboutChuck Norris is that he was a
karate guy and he had a reallycheesy TV show, damn.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Chuck, does she know that when Chuck Norris goes
swimming he doesn't get wet, thewater gets chucked, chuck.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Or that Chuck.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Where do you do that at?
Hmm, just saying.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
I mean, what's the bowling alley going to tell him
not to?
It's Chuck Norris.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, damn right.
Okay, fair enough, these werepretty popular.
I do remember in the World ofWarcraft game that there was a
Chuck Norris joke takeover for along period of time and to the
effect that they even made aSuper Bowl commercial with said
jokes in it.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
So these are great.
Yeah, it was kind of a hugething in like the mid-2000s to
like 2010,.
It seems like People just cameup with hundreds of them, oh man
, and some of them werebrilliant.
Honestly, some of them were notvery good.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Well, yeah, it's like a knock-knock joke, but it's a
Chuck Norris joke, right?
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Yeah, on the seventh day, God rested, chuck Norris
took over, oh.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Take that Christianity.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Chuck Norris also counted to infinity twice.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Ooh, take that eons.
Alright, man, You'rebrightening my day.
I hope y'all are out there andyou're driving and you're
listening to this.
Just you know, Let it make yourday that much better and think
good.
Chuck Norris.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Who are these two old people talking about?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I tell stories.
Why are there cowboys?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I've been asked that Some kids pee their name in the
snow.
Chuck Norris can pee his nameinto concrete.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
What does he have?
That's rough.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Okay anyway, chuck Norris doesn't use spellcheck.
If he happens to misspell aword, oxford will change the
spelling.
Of course they will.
It's nice of them.
Yeah, they're very kind.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelieon a unicycle.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Is that kind of like a unihop?
Wait, I don't even know howthat works.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Exactly, yeah, I get it.
He's that badass.
I mean, you know, chuck Norrisstands faster than anyone can
run.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
See, these are clever .
I agree with that.
It's a bit funny.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Champions are the breakfast of.
Agree with that, it's a bitfunny.
Champions are the breakfasts ofChuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolvingdoors.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
That is impressive.
I just imagined how that wouldgo.
It would be like a freakingtornado or something in a
cartoon.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Jeff once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh, no, oh, no, I like that one.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoeswith his feet.
What I didn't expect.
That.
Who had the time and the talent?
I mean God bless, but what isyour occupation that you have
(13:49):
the time to sit around and justdo this?
Oh, I guess I could ask myselfthe same question.
Right, I do know Chuck Norriscan build a snowman out of rain.
Of course Chuck Norris canbuild a snowman out of rain.
Of course Chuck Norris oncepunched a man in the soul.
Hell yeah, he did.
(14:10):
Chuck Norris can beat the sunin a staring contest.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh no, oh no, chuck, son you got Chuck Chuck, you got
Chuck son Wait.
Yeah, son you got Chuck Chuck,you got Chuck son Wait yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
All right.
Chuck Norris once kicked ahorse in its chin.
Its descendants are now knownas Giraffe.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
That's good, that's a good one.
I like that one too.
That one's good, damn, chuck.
This is your legacy, bro.
This is Chuck Norris' legacy.
You know, I bet you like,because I kind of forget what
Chuck Norris has done outsidebeing tough and in jokes.
You know what I'm saying.
Like, you remember certainthings, but this is what I
remember, chuck, your legacy Allthat hard work, all your years
(14:55):
of training, training with BruceLee and such and all these
great people.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
And here you are, and he was a total good sport about
it.
I think it was a sports showthat he would come on every so
often and read some of thesejokes.
You know he was.
Yeah, he could have been likeoh, they're making fun of me,
but he just seems a good sportabout it.
So, right, no, what do youexpect from someone Chuck Norris
(15:21):
who doesn't breathe?
He holds the air hostage.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Oh yeah, hey want to hear something funny.
I thought about you rememberBig League 2?
Not even.
Oh goddammit, I don't know if Ilike this episode.
Were people just snarky andshitty in the 80s?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Because fuck that If they were out of cocaine, which
remember that cocaine use in the80s was so rampant, people were
actually convinced that GeorgeMichael was straight, just
saying Not that there's anythingwrong with that, but it's just
like.
Come on, people, right.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Yeah, no.
Anyway, it's kind of like oneof those ones like it's like
when Rosie O'Donnell came out.
Yeah, it's kind of like One ofthose ones Like it's like when
Rosie O'Donnell Came out.
It's like, okay, sure, likeyeah, makes sense to me.
Yeah, nobody's shocked here.
So Another British one that waskind of Whatever To snog Is to
kish passionately and that's one.
(16:17):
And then Telly Telly came aboutIn the 80s, so that was kind of
cool.
Those are neat.
I like that.
So Swatch Watches and EctoCooler I did see the Swatch
Watch, ecto Cooler.
Was that like the Slimer drink?
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah, the Hi-C.
I remember, yeah, hi-c.
Just like let's get our kidsall hopped up on sugar.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, yeah, very high .
Some church-colored dye yeah,that's great, go Slimer.
Slimer's a very good guy.
I followed his teachings as akid.
There's a lot of great thingsthat came out of the 80s, like
Bill Murray's career mainlysparked from the 80s, and that's
fantastic.
So let's not all just trashthis lazy slang from the 80s.
I feel like a lot of it'spretty stupid, but I don't know.
(17:04):
That's just me coming fromwhere I come from Like neon
animal print yeah, what thehell's going on?
It doesn't even make any sense.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Motley Crue.
Look at you guys Like it wasn'tjust women.
Yeah, High-waisted jeans forpeople and stuff, Not choice.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
No high-waisted jeans for people.
Not choice, not choice at all.
I don't feel like choice issomething you should try to
bring back, my friend no, I'mnot going to.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I didn't use much of this flag.
I'm merely pointing out yeah,you know me, hey everybody out
there.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Thanks for listening to our 100th episode recap, part
1.
Hope everybody out there is.
Thanks for listening to our100th episode recap, part one.
Hope everybody out there isenjoying their day or their
evening.
Yeah, I guess I'll say it forOwen.
Much love everybody, thank you.
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