May 24, 2025 • 21 mins
We explore an eclectic mix of bizarre topics from illegal booger-flicking to the infamous exploding whale incident, while diving into mythology, strange cultural trivia, and unexpected food origins.
• The strange regional laws that prohibit booger flicking in Whitehall and honking at sandwich shops at 9pm
• Montana's unofficial sport of "meth cycling" - stealing bikes to ride between locations
• Shamash, the Mesopotamian sun deity known as "Governor of the Universe" with power over light and darkness
• The 1970 exploding whale disaster in Florence, Oregon where dynamite sent blubber "beyond all believable bounds"
• Fascinating food topics including poutine, potatoes being the first vegetable grown in space, and the Scottish origins of fried chicken
• Scottish trivia including the prevalence of redheads, UFO sightings in Bonnie Bridge, and the world's first color photograph
• The legend of the Pied Piper and the modern cultural phenomenon of the "douche flute"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, I've never been to Whitehall and I guess I
don't.
It really wouldn't be an issue,but it is illegal to flick a
booger into the wind inWhitehall specifically.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ew, okay, they have time on their hands in Whitehall
.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I guess so, and I think this is statewide.
But it's illegal to honk yourhorn in front of a sandwich shop
at 9 pm.
Why would you do that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's like any other 901s kosher, but like kosher
sandwich shop Sounds like pimpsin San Francisco, but they're
honking for different reasons.
Spult to the sandwich shop Beep, beep.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Haven't heard that euphemism.
I haven't heard that euphemism.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hey, I bring things to the table, willing and able,
as Smoothie would say, andwilling and able, huh, all right
.
Anyway, go ahead, bro.
That was good, let's keep it up.
My parent, my parent, all myparents, all my parents, my
parents didn't like All myparents.
Yes, like all my three.
It is Montana.
Yeah, I know right, Cousin UnkyMa, yeah, any excuse to bash
(01:11):
Montana, guys.
No God, we need to stop thatshit.
It's too easy.
I didn't say anything.
Well, I know, I know Sometimeslike I'm just disappointed and I
sit here and there, I go backand listen to us and I'm just
disappointed, disappointed, andI sit here and there like I go
back and listen to us and I'mlike man, we were killing that,
at least you know goodpositivity level.
(01:32):
And then we're like, oh,fucking dumpster, fire Montana.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And I'm like god guys , it's beautiful out there.
No, it's a lovely place for thenew sport meth cycling yeah
anyway.
Oh my god.
I just saw a dude this morningthat like twacked out riding a
bike.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That came to mind.
My god, like you know, portlandhas those bikes you can just
rent and, like you, ride aroundand they're like these orange
community bikes or whateverright, and you know you pay for
them though.
Well, on the north side andsouth side of Billings, montana,
you just walk through yards andtake people's bikes and then
you ride them to the trap andthen you fucking ride some other
(02:12):
bike you steal somewhere else.
It is, it's like mess cycling.
It's like a sport, like atriathlon, but only with
stealing bikes.
Like hey, get on the mountainbike, go go.
Like like hey, get on themountain bike, go, go, go, go,
go go get some rock.
Oh damn, there's a littlegirl's bike.
Go, go, go.
I've seen crackheads ridinglittle girl's bikes around
Billings Like for real.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
That was good.
I had some shit I was going tosay and I'm at a loss what do
you got going on there?
What's next?
My friend?
I'm subtly interested.
Shamash was the son of sin andheld power over light, darkness
and evil.
He was revered as the god ofjustice and equity and served as
the judge of both gods and men.
(02:57):
Damn.
He's a pretty powerful guy.
Son seems to always be theall-powerful thing, which, as
far as we're concerned, it is.
I mean, I don't know what you'dput above that, possibly a
black hole that could suck inthe sun, but I think the sun
would fuck us up before any ofthat happened.
I don't know, anyway, but thesun is like everything.
(03:18):
So Shamash was also consideredthe governor of the entire
universe, which is a hell of atitle, and was often depicted
seated on a throne.
It's a good gig, look, ma.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I'm the governor of the universe.
You got mad when I got a B-plusin social studies.
Joke's on you.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It does sound like that.
Like I'm the governor of theuniverse.
Like fuck you.
So, bob, you the governor ofthe universe, fuck you.
Like.
So Bob.
You went off to be a fuckingcoal miner and I'm the governor
of the universe over here.
My mom don't even give a shit,it's just like.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I still get the small bowl of ice cream.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah yeah, I still get the small bowl of ice cream.
That's fucking hilarious dude.
I love this title bowl of icecream.
That's fucking hilarious dude.
I love this title Governor ofthe Universe.
I lost my spot because that wasso damn funny.
Oh, okay, you have a butler.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'm sure he does Give me a governor of the universe
and not a butler.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Dude, I would be butler of the universe.
Why not Like butler of the?
What would be butler of theuniverse?
Why not Like butler of thegovernor?
What would be the title?
Universal butler, I don't know.
Sounds kind of fancy, soundslike a busy job it does.
You know?
What's funny about that Is itprobably would really suck.
It's kind of like fuckingcalling a person who works at
(04:42):
Walmart a cashier, an associate,a sales associate, like try to
dress up a turd.
Like if you got a job, you gota job.
You're a fucking butler.
I mean, I don't know, I cleanshit, I don't give a fuck, I
don't mind it a bit.
But like I know how some, youknow, I don't know, sorry.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But if you're cleaning up after the entire
universe, I'm consuming.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Whoa, you, probably you know what he.
What about the butler in MrDeeds?
Do you know what I'm talkingabout?
I haven't even seen it.
Oh my God, adam Sandler, he'slike everywhere.
He's like so fast and shit, hesmacks Adam Sandler.
What else is he in?
Oh, brother War Out, thoughhe's in that movie.
Fuck, what is his name, I don'tknow.
Anyway, anyway, this butler issuper fast.
(05:21):
Anybody out there listeningthat knows about funny movies
apparently.
But anyway, like fucking,they'll know the butler from Mr
Deeds.
So he's super fast and he couldprobably be.
He might be the butler of theuniverse, as a Look, jeffrey, oh
well, no, because Jeffrey'sjust too lackadaisical about
shit, but he does get it done,doesn't he?
Phil's pretty demanding, Idon't know.
(05:44):
Seemed like he would eat a lottoo.
Yeah, phil, yeah, so Jeffreyknows how to cook.
That's a plus.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Which is odd because he's British, so that doesn't
check out.
That kind of just ruined mychildhood, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, well his.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I believed in everything in the Fresh Prince,
and now I feel that too.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, I know, I know.
So back to the governor of theuniverse, the entire universe as
it is Often depicted seated ona throne holding symbols of
justice and righteousness.
He always had a staff in it,right?
Hey, check this out.
I actually have something onthat sedan A whale of a deal.
Man recalls how family's new carwas crushed by blubber in 1970.
(06:26):
Kelly Umenhofer tagged along ona business trip with his dad 45
years ago in the family's brandnew car from Dunham Oldsmobile.
The man, then 14, was meetinghis father on November 12, 1970,
and they're going to go watchthe whale blow up, right, so
that's the thing.
So he says, quote so I'm allexcited and I went over to my
dad they're going to blow it up20 cases of dynamite.
(06:48):
My father proceeded to say Ithink you misheard them.
I think he said 20 sticks.
Umenhofer recalled Thursday andI said no, he said 20 cases,
the cases.
The rest is history.
After they blew it up, everyoneis watching in awe and then, 30
seconds later, blam, blam, blam,blam which in the video you can
actually hear this blubberplopping.
Guys, it's pretty weird.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
(07:09):
Then everyone's going.
There's huge chunks of whaleblubber getting thrown on us.
That's what they yelled.
I'd be like, holy fuck, what isgoing on?
What the fuck?
I don't even know Anyway.
So an overwhelming chaos ensued.
So then there's people runningeverywhere, he says, and as it
started to come down, it wentboom.
It almost bent the car in a Vshape.
(07:31):
This piece was so big so my dadhad bought it from Old Dunham's
Cadillac, and their slogan atthe time was come on in and
we'll give you a whale of a deal.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
So yeah, and then how about dude's quote that Paul
Lindman, the blast blastedblubber beyond all believable
bounds?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh, my god, peter Piper picked up pepper.
You know like that is epic.
When you hear this, you guysneed to like.
I'm telling you, look thisvideo up.
When I shared that with youfrom the site that did the
remaster, it amazed me.
It said it only had like 4.3thousand or 4.4 thousand views.
What does it mean?
What the hell is it?
(08:15):
Maybe I smoked weed?
Yeah, I figured it would havelike 20 million.
No, yeah, I figured it wouldhave had like 20 million?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
No, no, you didn't.
And then did you see, about 20years later, basically nearly 20
years later, it resurfaced.
May 20th 1990, humor columnistDave Barry wrote Moby Yuck, oh
my God.
And an abridged version of thecolumn was posted on an
electronic bulletin board.
And yeah, you know, this is1990.
(08:45):
This is that was a brand newthing?
I believe, I would think so.
But it spread like wildfire orwhale parts in Florence.
Yes, yeah, many readers wereunder the impression.
It just happened.
And director wait, I don't knowif he's a director, but anyway
Ed Shopes of the OregonDepartment of Transportation and
(09:08):
public information officer.
He was bombarded with angryphone calls, thinking that
they'd just blown up this whale.
He had to tell me like no, thisis like almost 20 years ago.
Yeah, I didn't have anything todo with this.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
After this mine explosion.
I mean it must have blew hismind right, like what happened
to him after that.
He just laid around, or wasthat it?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Uh no, while having ingested the Mormon family-sized
dose of meth, his appetite wasobviously suppressed for several
days, but eventually,eventually, he was ready to eat.
And so yet, desolate Lapland,finland, was not known for
(09:52):
culinary delights, and ourfriend here survived by eating
pine buds, and I guess he caughta live bird, a Siberian jay, as
it were, and ate it.
He didn't cook it, just ate it.
I don't know if he gutted it,but yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway he
(10:18):
stayed alive eating, I assume,pine buds or like pine cones,
like miniature pine cones, and aSiberian Jay Emu Jesus guy.
I don't think the Finnish arenow famous for this dish.
Maybe they are the Pine Jay, orwhatever.
(10:40):
He made some meth before dinnerand then Sprinkle.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's like a fucking bird with a pine cone stuck in
its mouth Sprinkled with meth.
Yeah, on ice, not even Put itout Be feathered?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, not even On ice .
Well played, yeah, very goodmethamphetamine.
Thank you for recognizing it.
Was the bird super high when itdied?
I don't know.
You eat it and then you don'teat for like six weeks.
Yeah, I'm unclear and I don'tmean to make fun of people's
(11:16):
drug addictions or beingunmasked.
But yeah, now what that?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
is what it is, I don't know, but there is a place
out here that has a big potatoand it's like their thing.
I think it's Canadian stuff,though, like that.
What is that shit called that?
You were talking about poutine.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Oh yeah, which I actually tried and surprisingly,
I liked it what is it again, soeverybody else can hear.
It's fries with and don't quoteme 100% on this, but I'm pretty
sure it's like fries withcheese curds and then gravy on
it.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, that sounds right.
Nothing wrong with some curdman.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
All right guys.
Oh, I'm pro-curd, definitely,I'm definitely pro-curd and fry,
but gravy usually, like, like,typically it's your.
I mean, I love gravy in mypocket, but actual gravy it
means something's dry and you'retrying to mask.
It is basically what my take onit but I get that too.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I do understand that part of it.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Some people just like dip in sauces and such my
friend, so they'll be so down ongravy, I'm pro-Aju, but and
that is good gravy, it's justmost of the time it's like, just
like slop with this.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Right, I get it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Anyway, so you know.
And then, if you're having asteak, what's your favorite side
?
Potatoes, yeah, maybe somebroccoli with that sometimes
Stuff like that Garlic mashStuff.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Like that Like garlic mash.
I like asparagus better thanbroccoli myself.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I'm both.
I'm pretty equal on that,pretty equal, you know,
nonetheless, potatoes Fuckingamazing guys.
Okay, hey, what is a potato?
Is it a fruit or a vegetable?
Owen?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's a vegetable, isn't it?
Yeah, it is, thank you, it's avegetable, isn't it?
Yeah, it is, thank you.
Alright, it's the firstvegetable to be grown in space?
Yeah, I did see that.
Yeah, if space is fake, doesthat mean potatoes are fake too?
I don't know.
Let's ask Mr Potato Head.
Yeah, mr Potato Head, what doyou say?
Potatoes cannot be mentionedwithout Mr Potato.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Head.
Right Potato Head says thatspace is real guys.
Okay, when is the potato fromOwen?
I think that it's the Inca.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yes, it was the first to cultivate it and I will say
it is a gateway drug to cinnamoncoffee cake, but that's
basically about it.
Yeah, bro, or Reese's peanutbutter ice cream cups?
Yes, cannabis can definitelylead to that.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
What are you smoking on right now that you're
speaking like this, I want toknow what strain do you?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Public service announcement it is.
I actually don't know it'ssomething you?
Public service announcement itis.
I actually don't know it'ssomething.
I know the initials are YP, butI put it in a jar and I don't
recall that it's a winner,that's for sure.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Winner Winner YP Well , that's Y.
So your prize, we'll call itthat Good job, man you win, why
so your?
Prize.
We'll call it that good job,man.
You win.
So good pants.
There you go, if you like that.
There you are my friend, butyou're leading the show.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It is actually a strain, because I was trying to
think of it, I was like, well, Idon't know, maybe yucatan
peninsula, I guess that's notone, but it's not a strength
apparently that I could find.
But anyway, yeah, it'sdefinitely.
Uh, it's a thing definitelysolid.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Oh yeah yeah, that drunk monks beating up punks was
there.
That's what they was doing backthen.
They, man irish monks, werelike there was a warrior monk
class back then in, uh, in thoseuh little village areas and
whatnot and shit.
I don't even know.
I was trying to go somewherewith that but I kind of lost it.
(14:57):
Hey, guess what?
The highest proportion ofred-haired people in the world
is in Scotland.
Surprise, surprise.
About 13% of the Scottishpopulation has red hair, while
40% carry the recessive redheadgene.
I'll be damned you know?
Huh, I wonder where that comesfrom you know Like.
What advantage is that?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Like I want you to see, I don't know, but there are
lots of redheads at the firstHighland Games in the 11th
century, I imagine oh, probablyso when hammer throwing and
haggis hurling were some of theevents you could compete in Was
it hag hurling or haggis hurling, I'm unsure.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Like it said haggis.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I thought yeah, Like like really cheap stomach, yeah,
I could have that wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I don't know, you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Braveheart was actually the nickname of Robert
the Bruce, but good old MelGibson decided to use it for the
title.
I wasn't aware of that.
I wasn't either.
That's upsetting.
Yeah, mel, damn Mel.
The very small town of BonnieBridge has over 300 reports of
UFO sightings each year.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Hell yeah, all right, go Bonnie Bridge.
Hey, bonnie Bridge, you betterbe listening.
Motherfuckers, pints up, allright.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You know, I'm saying, yeah, oh, and here's one that's
actually like a point ofcontention with some, where I'm
just like whatever, let's all beso grateful that fried chicken
exists, but a British cookbookin 17, 47 perfectly describes a
Scottish recipe, for it doesn'tuse the words fried chicken, but
(16:30):
it basically is.
Some say it was just stolenfrom slave tradition, but I mean
it's like, either way, I'm justglad fried chicken is like
thank you, whoever Right, whoa,so maybe the Scottish, and maybe
that gives me some like hopefor my people, like having
(16:50):
something good to do withculinary.
I guess scones are good ifthey're done right, right.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I'm pretty sure it was proven, though, that it's
like a definite that theScottish invented fried chicken.
I think that's a real thing.
I'm going to double check thatOkay.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Because I saw somebody who's like all heated
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Oh, I'm sure they were Damn.
Let's just be glad it's here.
I'm sure they were.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
But anyway Nonetheless.
Yeah, I thought that wasinteresting.
I actually saw that years agoon a TV.
That's fantastic, you know FoodNetwork thing.
But I revisited it and justtried to read as much as I could
.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Again, I have no definitive proof, but Right, hey
, fun fact the world's firstcolor photograph was taken of
Tartan Ribbon in Scotland.
I don't know what Tartan Ribbonis.
Do you Travesty Like I don'teven know?
I don't even know, you know itjust sucks.
He was at his peak, he'd justgotten out I mean, he'd already
(17:41):
been a thing and all but likeMac Dre was like changing.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
He was bringing the West back Boy.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That's what, for some reason.
When I think about Mac Dre,it's like if Slick Rick was from
America and from the West Coast, sort of.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
That's an interesting take.
I wouldn't have thought of that, but that makes a lot of sense.
I didn't say that, I justthought of that they're
definitely like a differentstyle than I mean style, than I
mean everybody has their ownstyle, but they're like just a
kind of off the wall, fuckingbrilliance.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Right, yeah, and it's the wordplay I just thought of
that.
This is not something I've beenpondering.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
It's like I was like you're not teaching a class at a
community college.
Not yet, not yet.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I've heard it's not difficult to get that job.
Yeah, so no offense to anybodywho does X.
It probably is pretty difficult.
My bad, I don't think I coulddo it.
No, I don't either.
How do you run your mouth?
Well, step one, have no shame.
So anyway, let's get on apositive note for this day.
(18:53):
I don't know, not really soanyway, back's, get on a
positive note for this day.
I don't know, not really soanyway, back to musical curses.
The Legend of the Pied Piper hasendured the centuries, inspired
works by the Grimm Brothers andRobert Browning and so many
others.
The story revolves around thePiper being hired to rid Hamelin
of rats, which he accomplishedby luring them with his magical
(19:16):
flute.
I don't know why that was funny.
It reminds me of that doucheflute comment, like for people
who smoke e-cigs or whatever.
He's like, douche flute.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
It was just so funny how that came up too, because
we've gotten samples and theyoffer it to a regular customer.
I was like, oh, too, because wegot samples and they offered
like a regular customer.
I was like, oh here, do youwant to?
Do you guys use these?
And he's so nonchalantly waslike, oh no, yeah, we don't mess
with the douche flute.
What did you just say, Favoriteperson?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
of the week.
Yeah, he's from Wyoming too,remember.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, yeah, Super cool couple.
I haven't seen him in a whilebut if you happen to randomly be
listening, yeah, I alwaysenjoyed their visits and that
was a comment for the ages.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, you've made people out here on the West
Coast laugh because I've beensaying that shit.
Like Nicole, my wife, like I'mlike the douche.
So she was like talking withher friend on the phone and they
just started cracking up.
What is a douche flute?
I'm like I don't know.
Apparently, you need doucheflute juice to go with it.
Anyway, enough of that shit.
So the pie pirate.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, and then I fucked up on the Stonehenge
thing.
Stonehenge just got trampled bya fucking dwarf.
Just got trampled by a fuckingdwarf Bunch of clowns.
Well, I've never been to Whitehall and I guess I
don't.
It really wouldn't be an issue,but it is illegal to flick a
booger into the wind inWhitehall specifically.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ew, okay, they have time on their hands in Whitehall
.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I guess so, and I think this is statewide.
But it's illegal to honk yourhorn in front of a sandwich shop
at 9 pm.
Why would you do that?
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's like any other 901s kosher, but like kosher
sandwich shop Sounds like pimpsin San Francisco, but they're
honking for different reasons.
Spult to the sandwich shop Beep, beep.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Haven't heard that euphemism.
I haven't heard that euphemism.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Hey, I bring things to the table, willing and able,
as Smoothie would say, andwilling and able, huh, all right
.
Anyway, go ahead, bro.
That was good, let's keep it up.
My parent, my parent, all myparents, all my parents, my
parents didn't like All myparents.
Yes, like all my three.
It is Montana.
Yeah, I know right, Cousin UnkyMa, yeah, any excuse to bash
(01:11):
Montana, guys.
No God, we need to stop thatshit.
It's too easy.
I didn't say anything.
Well, I know, I know Sometimeslike I'm just disappointed and I
sit here and there, I go backand listen to us and I'm just
disappointed, disappointed, andI sit here and there like I go
back and listen to us and I'mlike man, we were killing that,
at least you know goodpositivity level.
(01:32):
And then we're like, oh,fucking dumpster, fire Montana.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And I'm like god guys , it's beautiful out there.
No, it's a lovely place for thenew sport meth cycling yeah
anyway.
Oh my god.
I just saw a dude this morningthat like twacked out riding a
bike.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
That came to mind.
My god, like you know, portlandhas those bikes you can just
rent and, like you, ride aroundand they're like these orange
community bikes or whateverright, and you know you pay for
them though.
Well, on the north side andsouth side of Billings, montana,
you just walk through yards andtake people's bikes and then
you ride them to the trap andthen you fucking ride some other
(02:12):
bike you steal somewhere else.
It is, it's like mess cycling.
It's like a sport, like atriathlon, but only with
stealing bikes.
Like hey, get on the mountainbike, go go.
Like like hey, get on themountain bike, go, go, go, go,
go go get some rock.
Oh damn, there's a littlegirl's bike.
Go, go, go.
I've seen crackheads ridinglittle girl's bikes around
Billings Like for real.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
That was good.
I had some shit I was going tosay and I'm at a loss what do
you got going on there?
What's next?
My friend?
I'm subtly interested.
Shamash was the son of sin andheld power over light, darkness
and evil.
He was revered as the god ofjustice and equity and served as
the judge of both gods and men.
(02:57):
Damn.
He's a pretty powerful guy.
Son seems to always be theall-powerful thing, which, as
far as we're concerned, it is.
I mean, I don't know what you'dput above that, possibly a
black hole that could suck inthe sun, but I think the sun
would fuck us up before any ofthat happened.
I don't know, anyway, but thesun is like everything.
(03:18):
So Shamash was also consideredthe governor of the entire
universe, which is a hell of atitle, and was often depicted
seated on a throne.
It's a good gig, look, ma.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I'm the governor of the universe.
You got mad when I got a B-plusin social studies.
Joke's on you.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It does sound like that.
Like I'm the governor of theuniverse.
Like fuck you.
So, bob, you the governor ofthe universe, fuck you.
Like.
So Bob.
You went off to be a fuckingcoal miner and I'm the governor
of the universe over here.
My mom don't even give a shit,it's just like.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I still get the small bowl of ice cream.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah yeah, I still get the small bowl of ice cream.
That's fucking hilarious dude.
I love this title bowl of icecream.
That's fucking hilarious dude.
I love this title Governor ofthe Universe.
I lost my spot because that wasso damn funny.
Oh, okay, you have a butler.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
I'm sure he does Give me a governor of the universe
and not a butler.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Dude, I would be butler of the universe.
Why not Like butler of the?
What would be butler of theuniverse?
Why not Like butler of thegovernor?
What would be the title?
Universal butler, I don't know.
Sounds kind of fancy, soundslike a busy job it does.
You know?
What's funny about that Is itprobably would really suck.
It's kind of like fuckingcalling a person who works at
(04:42):
Walmart a cashier, an associate,a sales associate, like try to
dress up a turd.
Like if you got a job, you gota job.
You're a fucking butler.
I mean, I don't know, I cleanshit, I don't give a fuck, I
don't mind it a bit.
But like I know how some, youknow, I don't know, sorry.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But if you're cleaning up after the entire
universe, I'm consuming.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
Whoa, you, probably you know what he.
What about the butler in MrDeeds?
Do you know what I'm talkingabout?
I haven't even seen it.
Oh my God, adam Sandler, he'slike everywhere.
He's like so fast and shit, hesmacks Adam Sandler.
What else is he in?
Oh, brother War Out, thoughhe's in that movie.
Fuck, what is his name, I don'tknow.
Anyway, anyway, this butler issuper fast.
(05:21):
Anybody out there listeningthat knows about funny movies
apparently.
But anyway, like fucking,they'll know the butler from Mr
Deeds.
So he's super fast and he couldprobably be.
He might be the butler of theuniverse, as a Look, jeffrey, oh
well, no, because Jeffrey'sjust too lackadaisical about
shit, but he does get it done,doesn't he?
Phil's pretty demanding, Idon't know.
(05:44):
Seemed like he would eat a lottoo.
Yeah, phil, yeah, so Jeffreyknows how to cook.
That's a plus.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Which is odd because he's British, so that doesn't
check out.
That kind of just ruined mychildhood, but anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, well his.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I believed in everything in the Fresh Prince,
and now I feel that too.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Yeah, I know, I know.
So back to the governor of theuniverse, the entire universe as
it is Often depicted seated ona throne holding symbols of
justice and righteousness.
He always had a staff in it,right?
Hey, check this out.
I actually have something onthat sedan A whale of a deal.
Man recalls how family's new carwas crushed by blubber in 1970.
(06:26):
Kelly Umenhofer tagged along ona business trip with his dad 45
years ago in the family's brandnew car from Dunham Oldsmobile.
The man, then 14, was meetinghis father on November 12, 1970,
and they're going to go watchthe whale blow up, right, so
that's the thing.
So he says, quote so I'm allexcited and I went over to my
dad they're going to blow it up20 cases of dynamite.
(06:48):
My father proceeded to say Ithink you misheard them.
I think he said 20 sticks.
Umenhofer recalled Thursday andI said no, he said 20 cases,
the cases.
The rest is history.
After they blew it up, everyoneis watching in awe and then, 30
seconds later, blam, blam, blam,blam which in the video you can
actually hear this blubberplopping.
Guys, it's pretty weird.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
(07:09):
Then everyone's going.
There's huge chunks of whaleblubber getting thrown on us.
That's what they yelled.
I'd be like, holy fuck, what isgoing on?
What the fuck?
I don't even know Anyway.
So an overwhelming chaos ensued.
So then there's people runningeverywhere, he says, and as it
started to come down, it wentboom.
It almost bent the car in a Vshape.
(07:31):
This piece was so big so my dadhad bought it from Old Dunham's
Cadillac, and their slogan atthe time was come on in and
we'll give you a whale of a deal.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
So yeah, and then how about dude's quote that Paul
Lindman, the blast blastedblubber beyond all believable
bounds?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh, my god, peter Piper picked up pepper.
You know like that is epic.
When you hear this, you guysneed to like.
I'm telling you, look thisvideo up.
When I shared that with youfrom the site that did the
remaster, it amazed me.
It said it only had like 4.3thousand or 4.4 thousand views.
What does it mean?
What the hell is it?
(08:15):
Maybe I smoked weed?
Yeah, I figured it would havelike 20 million.
No, yeah, I figured it wouldhave had like 20 million?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
No, no, you didn't.
And then did you see, about 20years later, basically nearly 20
years later, it resurfaced.
May 20th 1990, humor columnistDave Barry wrote Moby Yuck, oh
my God.
And an abridged version of thecolumn was posted on an
electronic bulletin board.
And yeah, you know, this is1990.
(08:45):
This is that was a brand newthing?
I believe, I would think so.
But it spread like wildfire orwhale parts in Florence.
Yes, yeah, many readers wereunder the impression.
It just happened.
And director wait, I don't knowif he's a director, but anyway
Ed Shopes of the OregonDepartment of Transportation and
(09:08):
public information officer.
He was bombarded with angryphone calls, thinking that
they'd just blown up this whale.
He had to tell me like no, thisis like almost 20 years ago.
Yeah, I didn't have anything todo with this.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
After this mine explosion.
I mean it must have blew hismind right, like what happened
to him after that.
He just laid around, or wasthat it?
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Uh no, while having ingested the Mormon family-sized
dose of meth, his appetite wasobviously suppressed for several
days, but eventually,eventually, he was ready to eat.
And so yet, desolate Lapland,finland, was not known for
(09:52):
culinary delights, and ourfriend here survived by eating
pine buds, and I guess he caughta live bird, a Siberian jay, as
it were, and ate it.
He didn't cook it, just ate it.
I don't know if he gutted it,but yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway he
(10:18):
stayed alive eating, I assume,pine buds or like pine cones,
like miniature pine cones, and aSiberian Jay Emu Jesus guy.
I don't think the Finnish arenow famous for this dish.
Maybe they are the Pine Jay, orwhatever.
(10:40):
He made some meth before dinnerand then Sprinkle.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's like a fucking bird with a pine cone stuck in
its mouth Sprinkled with meth.
Yeah, on ice, not even Put itout Be feathered?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, not even On ice .
Well played, yeah, very goodmethamphetamine.
Thank you for recognizing it.
Was the bird super high when itdied?
I don't know.
You eat it and then you don'teat for like six weeks.
Yeah, I'm unclear and I don'tmean to make fun of people's
(11:16):
drug addictions or beingunmasked.
But yeah, now what that?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
is what it is, I don't know, but there is a place
out here that has a big potatoand it's like their thing.
I think it's Canadian stuff,though, like that.
What is that shit called that?
You were talking about poutine.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Oh yeah, which I actually tried and surprisingly,
I liked it what is it again, soeverybody else can hear.
It's fries with and don't quoteme 100% on this, but I'm pretty
sure it's like fries withcheese curds and then gravy on
it.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, that sounds right.
Nothing wrong with some curdman.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
All right guys.
Oh, I'm pro-curd, definitely,I'm definitely pro-curd and fry,
but gravy usually, like, like,typically it's your.
I mean, I love gravy in mypocket, but actual gravy it
means something's dry and you'retrying to mask.
It is basically what my take onit but I get that too.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I do understand that part of it.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Some people just like dip in sauces and such my
friend, so they'll be so down ongravy, I'm pro-Aju, but and
that is good gravy, it's justmost of the time it's like, just
like slop with this.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Right, I get it.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Anyway, so you know.
And then, if you're having asteak, what's your favorite side
?
Potatoes, yeah, maybe somebroccoli with that sometimes
Stuff like that Garlic mashStuff.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Like that Like garlic mash.
I like asparagus better thanbroccoli myself.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
I'm both.
I'm pretty equal on that,pretty equal, you know,
nonetheless, potatoes Fuckingamazing guys.
Okay, hey, what is a potato?
Is it a fruit or a vegetable?
Owen?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
It's a vegetable, isn't it?
Yeah, it is, thank you, it's avegetable, isn't it?
Yeah, it is, thank you.
Alright, it's the firstvegetable to be grown in space?
Yeah, I did see that.
Yeah, if space is fake, doesthat mean potatoes are fake too?
I don't know.
Let's ask Mr Potato Head.
Yeah, mr Potato Head, what doyou say?
Potatoes cannot be mentionedwithout Mr Potato.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Head.
Right Potato Head says thatspace is real guys.
Okay, when is the potato fromOwen?
I think that it's the Inca.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yes, it was the first to cultivate it and I will say
it is a gateway drug to cinnamoncoffee cake, but that's
basically about it.
Yeah, bro, or Reese's peanutbutter ice cream cups?
Yes, cannabis can definitelylead to that.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
What are you smoking on right now that you're
speaking like this, I want toknow what strain do you?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Public service announcement it is.
I actually don't know it'ssomething you?
Public service announcement itis.
I actually don't know it'ssomething.
I know the initials are YP, butI put it in a jar and I don't
recall that it's a winner,that's for sure.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Winner Winner YP Well , that's Y.
So your prize, we'll call itthat Good job, man you win, why
so your?
Prize.
We'll call it that good job,man.
You win.
So good pants.
There you go, if you like that.
There you are my friend, butyou're leading the show.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
It is actually a strain, because I was trying to
think of it, I was like, well, Idon't know, maybe yucatan
peninsula, I guess that's notone, but it's not a strength
apparently that I could find.
But anyway, yeah, it'sdefinitely.
Uh, it's a thing definitelysolid.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Oh yeah yeah, that drunk monks beating up punks was
there.
That's what they was doing backthen.
They, man irish monks, werelike there was a warrior monk
class back then in, uh, in thoseuh little village areas and
whatnot and shit.
I don't even know.
I was trying to go somewherewith that but I kind of lost it.
(14:57):
Hey, guess what?
The highest proportion ofred-haired people in the world
is in Scotland.
Surprise, surprise.
About 13% of the Scottishpopulation has red hair, while
40% carry the recessive redheadgene.
I'll be damned you know?
Huh, I wonder where that comesfrom you know Like.
What advantage is that?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Like I want you to see, I don't know, but there are
lots of redheads at the firstHighland Games in the 11th
century, I imagine oh, probablyso when hammer throwing and
haggis hurling were some of theevents you could compete in Was
it hag hurling or haggis hurling, I'm unsure.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Like it said haggis.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
I thought yeah, Like like really cheap stomach, yeah,
I could have that wrong.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
I don't know, you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
Braveheart was actually the nickname of Robert
the Bruce, but good old MelGibson decided to use it for the
title.
I wasn't aware of that.
I wasn't either.
That's upsetting.
Yeah, mel, damn Mel.
The very small town of BonnieBridge has over 300 reports of
UFO sightings each year.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Hell yeah, all right, go Bonnie Bridge.
Hey, bonnie Bridge, you betterbe listening.
Motherfuckers, pints up, allright.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You know, I'm saying, yeah, oh, and here's one that's
actually like a point ofcontention with some, where I'm
just like whatever, let's all beso grateful that fried chicken
exists, but a British cookbookin 17, 47 perfectly describes a
Scottish recipe, for it doesn'tuse the words fried chicken, but
(16:30):
it basically is.
Some say it was just stolenfrom slave tradition, but I mean
it's like, either way, I'm justglad fried chicken is like
thank you, whoever Right, whoa,so maybe the Scottish, and maybe
that gives me some like hopefor my people, like having
(16:50):
something good to do withculinary.
I guess scones are good ifthey're done right, right.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I'm pretty sure it was proven, though, that it's
like a definite that theScottish invented fried chicken.
I think that's a real thing.
I'm going to double check thatOkay.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Because I saw somebody who's like all heated
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Oh, I'm sure they were Damn.
Let's just be glad it's here.
I'm sure they were.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
But anyway Nonetheless.
Yeah, I thought that wasinteresting.
I actually saw that years agoon a TV.
That's fantastic, you know FoodNetwork thing.
But I revisited it and justtried to read as much as I could
.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Again, I have no definitive proof, but Right, hey
, fun fact the world's firstcolor photograph was taken of
Tartan Ribbon in Scotland.
I don't know what Tartan Ribbonis.
Do you Travesty Like I don'teven know?
I don't even know, you know itjust sucks.
He was at his peak, he'd justgotten out I mean, he'd already
(17:41):
been a thing and all but likeMac Dre was like changing.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
He was bringing the West back Boy.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
That's what, for some reason.
When I think about Mac Dre,it's like if Slick Rick was from
America and from the West Coast, sort of.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
That's an interesting take.
I wouldn't have thought of that, but that makes a lot of sense.
I didn't say that, I justthought of that they're
definitely like a differentstyle than I mean style, than I
mean everybody has their ownstyle, but they're like just a
kind of off the wall, fuckingbrilliance.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Right, yeah, and it's the wordplay I just thought of
that.
This is not something I've beenpondering.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
It's like I was like you're not teaching a class at a
community college.
Not yet, not yet.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I've heard it's not difficult to get that job.
Yeah, so no offense to anybodywho does X.
It probably is pretty difficult.
My bad, I don't think I coulddo it.
No, I don't either.
How do you run your mouth?
Well, step one, have no shame.
So anyway, let's get on apositive note for this day.
(18:53):
I don't know, not really soanyway, back's, get on a
positive note for this day.
I don't know, not really soanyway, back to musical curses.
The Legend of the Pied Piper hasendured the centuries, inspired
works by the Grimm Brothers andRobert Browning and so many
others.
The story revolves around thePiper being hired to rid Hamelin
of rats, which he accomplishedby luring them with his magical
(19:16):
flute.
I don't know why that was funny.
It reminds me of that doucheflute comment, like for people
who smoke e-cigs or whatever.
He's like, douche flute.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
It was just so funny how that came up too, because
we've gotten samples and theyoffer it to a regular customer.
I was like, oh, too, because wegot samples and they offered
like a regular customer.
I was like, oh here, do youwant to?
Do you guys use these?
And he's so nonchalantly waslike, oh no, yeah, we don't mess
with the douche flute.
What did you just say, Favoriteperson?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
of the week.
Yeah, he's from Wyoming too,remember.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Yeah, yeah, Super cool couple.
I haven't seen him in a whilebut if you happen to randomly be
listening, yeah, I alwaysenjoyed their visits and that
was a comment for the ages.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, you've made people out here on the West
Coast laugh because I've beensaying that shit.
Like Nicole, my wife, like I'mlike the douche.
So she was like talking withher friend on the phone and they
just started cracking up.
What is a douche flute?
I'm like I don't know.
Apparently, you need doucheflute juice to go with it.
Anyway, enough of that shit.
So the pie pirate.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
Yeah, and then I fucked up on the Stonehenge
thing.
Stonehenge just got trampled bya fucking dwarf.
Just got trampled by a fuckingdwarf Bunch of clowns.
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