God Isn't Coming. Be The Fire. | The Reckoning Part 13

What if the warmth you’ve been waiting for has been in your hands the whole time? We walk straight into the space that opens after deconstruction. Where the old stories fall away, certainty dissolves, and the ache for meaning gets loud...and offer a way to live sacredly without borrowing belief from somewhere else. No sermons. No rescue myths. Just the honest work of building a life that feels deep, grounded, and real.

We unpack how “rescue theology” quietly trains passivity and why reclaiming agency becomes a sacred act. Drawing on psychology and neuroscience, we explore how awe softens the grip of ego and turns ordinary moments into thresholds: a silent sunrise walk, a song that cracks your chest open, the costly choice to tell the truth when it would be easier not to. From there, we lay out a practical, craft-your-own architecture of meaning; journaling as ritual, movement as prayer, cooking as offering, stillness as sanctuary, and why attention is the most powerful form of modern devotion.

Community doesn’t vanish when belief shifts; it needs rebuilding with care. We name the grief of losing potlucks, shared songs, and automatic belonging, then show how to create resonance through chosen gatherings, intentional meals, and seasonal practices that make time feel textured again. You’ll also get a simple three-step framework: name what you miss, translate it into a secular ritual, and test it for seven days to see if awe and grounding grow. The takeaway is both bracing and kind: no one is coming to save us—and that’s our invitation to become the warmth. If this moved you, subscribe, share with a friend who’s deconstructing, and leave a review to help others find the fire.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:09):
Okay, so I've put off recording this episode for a
little while now because it itis a little bit of a heavier
episode.
And I want to be clear that I'mnot bashing religion.
I'm not bashing anyone'sbeliefs.
I'm not saying that you're wrongfor having beliefs in religion.
And I'm not saying that you donot need a superstructure,

(00:31):
because everyone does need asuperstructure.
If you do not believe in God,then you need to believe in
something else, something biggerthan you.
It could be science, it could besimulation theory, it could be
whatever it is, as long as it isbigger than yourself.
Because if you don't believe inanything and you don't have any
superstructure, you will crownyourself a god, subconsciously

(00:55):
or consciously.
So, with that in mind, let's getinto this.
Episode 13 of 19.
God isn't coming to be the fire.
For those who've deconstructedbelief but still crave
sacredness.
How to live sacredly without astructure.

(01:19):
We don't need a savior.
We need to become the warmth.
We stopped waiting for the sign,for the rescue, for the divine
reassurance that never came.
And yet, something inside stillwants.
Not belief, not rules, justmeaning, depth, sacredness.

(01:44):
We don't want a God, we want aflame we can trust.
We were taught to look up, towait, to obey.
But what if sacredness was neverup there?
What if it's always been withinreach, only no one ever taught
us how to hold it?

(02:06):
What if the gods never abandonedus?
What if we abandoned ourselves,outsourced our own fire, and
called it faith?
We weren't wrong to leave thesystem, but leaving didn't give
us peace.
We are not broken, we areexposed.

(02:29):
And now it's up to us.
Not to rebuild belief, but tobecome the thing we were waiting
for.
God isn't coming, so we becomethe fire.

(02:50):
Section one, the void afterbelief.
Deconstruction brings clarity,but not comfort.
We tore down the scaffolding ofdoctrine.
We stopped repeating storiesthat never fit.
And in the silence after, avoid.

(03:12):
Some of us fell into nihilism,others into performative
atheism, mocking those who stillbelieve, as if cynicism is proof
of strength.
But the ache that remains, thelonging for sacredness, isn't
weakness.

(03:32):
It is evolution.
We've grown past hand-me-downholiness, and yet we still crave
wonder, belonging, andreverence.
Psychologists call this terrormanagement.
Humans cope with the reality ofdeath by creating stories of

(03:56):
meaning, immortality, divineplans.
Strip away those stories, andthe raw truth of morality is
unbearable.
Unless we build something else.
We didn't deconstruct because wehated meaning.

(04:16):
We deconstructed because wewanted meaning that wasn't a
lie.
Deconstruction is clarity, butit doesn't erase the ache for
sacredness.

Section two (04:32):
the lie of God will save us.
Most of us inherited rescuetheology, the divine plan, the
idea that if we were faithful,obedient, good enough, something
or someone would swoop in andmake it right.

(04:56):
That's not hope.
That is spiritual outsourcing.
It trains people into passivity,into waiting instead of moving,
into praying instead of acting.
The myth of cosmic fairness isego's bedtime story.

(05:22):
It says, stay still, someoneelse is driving.
But real sacredness begins whenwe stop waiting for permission
or rescue.
When we realize no one issteering, and yet we still
choose to steer.

(05:44):
Rescue theology isn'tsacredness, it is outsourcing
responsibility.
Section three, what sacrednesslooks like post-belief.
Sacredness doesn't vanish whenbelief does.
It just changes form.

(06:06):
It lives in presence, notperformance.
In ritual, not religion.
In awe, not answers.
Neuroscience shows awe, slowsdown the brain's default mode
network.
This is the part of the braintied to self-narration and ego

(06:29):
chatter.
In awe, we stop obsessing aboutme and remember we're part of
something vast.
Sacredness is a silent walk atsunrise.
It's goosebumps at music thatcracks our chest open.
It is the weight of telling thetruth when lying would cost

(06:51):
less.
It's holding integrity when noone is watching.
Sacredness is the ordinary,treated like it matters.
Sacredness isn't in belief, itis in the awe that interrupts

(07:12):
ego.
Section four, creating our ownsacred architecture.
If the temple crumbles, we don'tjust sit in the rubble.
We build new altars.
Journaling becomes ritual.
Movement becomes prayer.

(07:34):
Cooking becomes offering.
Stillness becomes sanctuary.
We define values that cost ussomething, not just words that
flatter us.
We treat attention like prayer.
Whatever we focus on, we makesacred.
And our community, it is chosen,not inherited.

(08:01):
We don't need hierarchy, we needresonance.
Your altar is your attention.
Your prayer is your action.
Section five.

(08:41):
One keeps us alive, the otherkeeps us trapped.
So we burn the idol and we keepthe flame.
The divine was never up there.
It's down here in our choices,our grief, and our courage.

(09:04):
Burn the idol, keep the flame.
Section six, the ache of lostcommunity.
Leaving faith isn't just leavingbelief.
It's leaving belonging.

(09:25):
We didn't just lose God.
We lost potlucks, shared songs,familiar rituals, people to call
when we moved apartments orhouses.
That ache is real.
And it doesn't mean we made amistake.
It means community matters.

(09:47):
And now we build itintentionally.
Not inherited, not forced, butchosen.
The sacred isn't in the crowd.
It's in the quality of whogathers.
We didn't just lose belief.

(10:09):
We lost belonging.
The sacred task is to rebuildboth.
Section seven.
What to say to the ache thatstill remains?
We can admit it.
Yes, we miss the certainty.

(10:30):
Yes, we miss the comfort ofbelieving someone's in control.
But we'd rather live in holyuncertainty than run back to
illusion just to sleep at night.
Maturity is paradox, grief andgrace, absence and awe.

(10:52):
The ache doesn't mean we failed.
It means we are alive.
Maturity is grieving the loss ofcertainty without running back
to the illusion.
Section eight.
Let's get into some practice,building sacredness without

(11:14):
structure.
Try this three-step practice.
Number one, name what you miss.
Is it ritual?
Music?
Community?
The sense of order?
Write whatever it is down.
Number two, translate it.

(11:35):
Create a secular version.
Light a candle beforejournaling.
Host a meal with intention.
Walk in silence as prayer.
Number three, test it.
Practice it for seven days.
Notice if awe, grounding, orbelonging grows.

(11:58):
Adjust until it feels real.
Sacredness isn't given.
It's crafted.
Sacredness isn't inherited.
It is built.
Final words.
You are the flame.

(12:19):
We don't need gods.
We need truth that warms.
We need to become the ones whoshow up when everyone else is
still praying for rescue.
So let's be the fire, even whenit burns.
God isn't coming.

(12:40):
Be the fire.