Part 1 of 12: The Glass Door Problem

In this episode, we unpack the insightful and transformative concept of the Glass Door Problem, a phenomenon that reflects how many of us get stuck in life due to perceived barriers that we often have the power to overcome. Many people feel trapped not by their circumstances but by their unwillingness to take different approaches when facing challenges. We explore the intriguing psychology behind this behavior, including learned helplessness and cognitive dissonance, and examine the ways they contribute to the illusion of being stuck.

By understanding how these psychological constructs work, listeners can recognize the barriers they impose on themselves and learn to navigate around them. Discover the importance of metacognition—thinking about your own thinking—as a vital tool for breaking free from habitual patterns of behavior that no longer serve you. We will share actionable steps to identify your glass doors and encourage a mindset shift that can lead to profound personal growth.

In the conversation, we emphasize that while it may seem like obstacles are insurmountable, they are often just misconceptions rooted in past experiences. We challenge you to embrace the idea that just because something didn’t work out before doesn’t mean you are incapable of change. Join us as we explore what it means to step left instead of charging into failure, encouraging you to think differently about your limitations. 

Together, let’s commit to peeling back the layers of self-imposed restrictions. If you've found yourself bumping into the same walls, it's time to assess your approach and potentially pivot in a new direction. Listen, and let's find a way to step beyond those invisible barriers!

Tap HERE for all Social Media, email, and Podcast platforms

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
The Glass Door Problem, why People Stay Stuck
and how to Step Left or Right.
Most people aren't trapped bytheir circumstances.
They're trapped by theirrefusal to take a step sideways.
Introduction the illusion ofbeing stuck.
Ever watched someone walkstraight into a glass door?
They don't see it coming.

(00:31):
They're convinced the path isclear.
So when they smack face firstinto an invisible barrier, they
react with confusion,frustration and maybe even anger
.
And then, more often than not,they do something completely
irrational.
They try again, over and over.
They ram themselves into thesame obstacle, getting more
frustrated each time.

(00:51):
Instead of adjusting, insteadof stepping left or right, they
blame the door.
That's the glass door problem.
In action and in life, peopledo this all the time.
In relationships, in careers,in their belief systems.
They hit the same roadblocks,but instead of adjusting their
approach, they just keep hittingharder, convinced that effort

(01:12):
alone will break the barrier.
But here's the truth Mostpeople aren't actually stuck,
they're just refusing to movedifferently.
Why people keep walking intothe glass?
Learned helplessness, thepsychological loop that traps
you.
Imagine a dog in a cage.
At first, it tries to escape,it scratches, bites at the bars,

(01:36):
pushes against the door, but ifthe cage has been locked long
enough, it eventually stopstrying, even if the door is
later left open.
It eventually stops trying,even if the door is later left
open.
The dog doesn't leave.
It's been trained to believeescape is impossible.
That's learned helplessness.
And it doesn't just happen todogs.
People stay in debt and jobsbecause they believe this is

(01:57):
just how work is.
They stay in toxicrelationships because they think
love is supposed to be hard.
They stay stuck in the samecycles because the effort to
escape once failed, so theyassume it always will.
The moment you accept stuck aspermanent, you've lost.
The glass door isn't keepingyou in your belief that it's

(02:20):
solid is.
But here's the thing Justbecause something didn't work
before doesn't mean it won'twork now.
The door might be open, thepath might be clear, but you'll
never know if you don't actuallytry stepping left instead of
just charging forward into thesame failure.
Cognitive dissonance, the mentalgymnastics of justifying

(02:42):
stagnation.
When people feel stuck, theirbrains hate the idea that they
might be the reason why.
So instead of facing it, theyrationalize staying put.
If I leave this relationship,I'll be alone, and alone is
worse.
If I quit this job, I mightfail somewhere else.
So better the devil, I know.

(03:02):
If I admit I'm the problem,that means I wasted years being
wrong.
That mental discomfort, whereyour current reality doesn't
align with what you want tobelieve is called cognitive
dissonance.
When your reality and yourstory clash and instead of
fixing it, you polish the turd,and the easiest way to relieve

(03:23):
it isn't to change but to doubledown.
It's like hiring a lawyer todefend your dumpster fire life.
Your honor, my client, smellsfine.
This is why people defend badrelationships, dead-end careers,
self-sabotaging habits Becauseadmitting the door is glass
means admitting they could havestepped left all along.

(03:44):
That's a hard pill to swallow,but it's the only way forward.
Metacognition the missing skillthat separates those who move
from those who stay stuck.
Metacognition is basicallythinking about your own thinking
.
It's the ability to stepoutside yourself and analyze
your own patterns.

(04:04):
Most people don't do this.
Naturally, they live onautopilot, reacting to life
instead of questioning theirreactions.
Here's how you know you'remissing metacognition.
You repeat the same arguments indifferent relationships.
You blame external forces foryour every setback.
Relationships you blameexternal forces for your every

(04:27):
setback.
You feel like things happen toyou rather than because of you.
It's like playing chess withyourself and still losing.
Mate, check your moves.
Metacognition lets you see theglass door for what it is an
illusion of limitation.
It lets you recognize I've beenhere before.
What did I do last time?
What if I did somethingdifferent?
This is how you break the cycle, how to step left, recognizing

(04:53):
when you're blaming the worldinstead of moving.
So how do you actually startshifting?
One identify your glass doors.
Ask yourself where in my life doI keep hitting the same wall?
What problems do I keep runninginto again and again?
What stories am I tellingmyself about why I can't move?

(05:14):
Be brutally honest.
If you've had the samecomplaint for years, you've
found a glass door.
Two question the reality of thedoor.
The next step is to stopassuming the barrier is real.
Just because a relationshipfailed doesn't mean all
relationships fail.
Just because you failed at agoal once doesn't mean you will

(05:38):
again.
Just because society tells yousomething is true doesn't mean
it applies to you.
Maybe the door's not locked.
Maybe you're just too busyheadbutting it to turn the knob.
Instead of asking why does thiskeep happening, try asking
yourself what if I'm wrong aboutthis?
What would someone with adifferent mindset do here?

(06:01):
What's a move I haven't triedyet?
Three step left, even if itfeels stupid.
The thing about glass doors isthat they feel solid until you
finally step around them.
So pick one area in your lifewhere you've been stuck and do
something different.
If you're always chasingunavailable people, walk away

(06:23):
first.
If you always react in anger,try silence.
If you've always followed thesafe career path, throw your
energy into something risky foronce.
It doesn't have to be a hugeleap, just a step left.
Final takeaway You're not stuck, you're just refusing to move

(06:43):
differently.
Most of life's barriers areself-imposed.
People stay in the wrongrelationships, the wrong careers
, the wrong habits becausethey've trained themselves to
believe there's no other way.
But there's always a step left,there's always an option that
you haven't considered.
And when you stop ramming intothe glass and finally shift your

(07:05):
approach, you'll realizesomething the barrier was never
as solid as you thought.
Closing thoughts If you've beenrunning into the same wall for
years, maybe the problem isn'tthe wall, maybe it's the way
you're moving.
So ask yourself where in yourlife do you need to stop
charging forward and just stepleft?

(07:27):
Thank you.