March 15, 2025 • 19 mins
The brutal truth most people don't want to hear? They're stuck in the same cycles because they want the feeling of progress without doing the actual work. As another year begins, we witness the predictable pattern: ambitious resolutions set in January, abandoned by February. The gym empties out, vision boards collect dust, and excuses resurface like clockwork.
This episode cuts through the noise to reveal what truly drives lasting transformation. It's not about motivation—it's about an identity shift. Most people approach change backward. They focus on what they want to accomplish rather than who they need to become. They say "I want to lose weight" instead of "I am someone who prioritizes my health." They set goals without changing the underlying identity that keeps pulling them back to old patterns.
Your brain is masterful at self-deception. It will rationalize quitting by disguising avoidance as growth and isolation as strength. It will convince you that walking away was the mature choice when you never even tried to address the real issues. To break free from this cycle, you need more than just goals—you need a fundamental shift in how you see yourself and a system that forces execution regardless of how you feel.
The formula for actual change comes down to four essential elements: deciding who you want to become (not just what you want to accomplish), making action non-negotiable (like paying bills or going to work), cutting the dead weight (whether toxic relationships or self-limiting excuses), and building proof of your new identity through consistent execution. With each follow-through, you accumulate evidence that you've already changed, making it increasingly difficult to revert to your former self.
If you're ready to make 2025 different—truly different—stop planning and start executing. The path forward isn't comfortable, but neither is staying stuck in the same place watching another year pass by. What will you choose?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Cutting the crap in 2025.
What it takes to actually levelup.
Resolutions are cute,discipline is better.
Introduction why most peoplestay stuck.
Every new year, people do thesame thing.
They set big goals.
This is the year I finally getmy life together.
(00:30):
They make vision boards.
I'm manifesting success.
They get hyped up on motivation.
New year, new me, and byFebruary, the gym is empty.
The goals are forgotten.
The same excuses resurface.
Why?
Because most people don'tactually want to change.
They just want the feeling ofprogress without the work.
(00:54):
Before we get into it, let'sstart at the foundation.
This episode is for people whohave already listened to the
last 11 episodes, each about 5to 15 minutes long or less.
If you haven't, you're skippingsteps, and that's exactly why
most people never level up.
Think of these episodes asbuilding a foundation.
You wouldn't build a house onshifting sand, so why would you
(01:17):
try to change your life withouta solid base?
You wouldn't jump straight tolifting heavy without mastering
form, so why would you jump intobig goals without reworking
your mindset?
Each of these past 11 episodescovered critical mental shifts
that most people never make, andalso my episode about dodging
accountability.
(01:38):
I accidentally didn't renderthe whole thing, so it's been
updated.
It should be 18 minutes long,not 12 minutes long, and so if
you were listening and it cutoff, go back and have another
lesson, but anyways movingforward.
One the glass door problembreaking through the invisible
limits you don't even see.
Two the learned helplessnessepidemic how to stop making
(02:01):
excuses and reclaim control.
Three AI and the silenthijacking of identity, spotting
where you're being influencedwithout realizing it.
Four the self-agency paradoxwhy real control requires
flexibility not rigidity.
Five when strength is justnoise, the difference between
looking strong and actuallybeing strong.
(02:21):
Six the extremely self-centeredvampire myth protecting
yourself from energy-drainingpeople.
Seven the psychology of peoplewho can't take accountability
how to spot and avoid those whorefuse to grow.
Episode eight how to spot themoment you are becoming the
problem, recognizing when theissue is you.
Episode nine the right questionat the right time how asking
(02:42):
better questions changeseverything.
Episode ten the bullshitQuestion at the Right Time.
How Asking Better QuestionsChanges Everything.
Episode 10, the Bullshit oftheir Truth Versus Reality
Filtering Through the Noise toStand in Objective Truth.
And episode 11, medicationSociety and the Misunderstood
Middle Ground how to BalanceExternal Influences and Personal
Responsibility.
If you've gone through theseepisodes, absorbed them and done
the work, then you're ready forthis next step.
(03:04):
If you haven't, go back andlisten, thank you.
The brutal truth about why mostpeople fail to change how to
shift your identity, not justyour habits, the difference
(03:26):
between motivation and execution, and the exact steps to stop
planning and start leveling upIf you're tired of making the
same empty promises to yourself.
This is how you actually moveforward.
So if you haven't watched the11 episodes, stop, rewind, go
back, listen to the other 11episodes and then come back here
.
But if you have, welcome back,so let's get into it.
(03:51):
One why most people never change, even when they want to.
Here's the cold, hard truth.
Most people don't lackmotivation, they lack discipline
and identity shifts.
They think change happens likethis.
Number one set a goal.
Number two get motivated.
Number three do the work.
Number four succeed, but inreality, change happens like
(04:14):
this.
Number one confront the brutaltruth of why you're still stuck.
Number two detach from theidentity that's keeping you
there.
Number three restructure yourmindset so failure isn't an
option.
Number four do the workconsistently, especially when
it's boring.
Number five become the type ofperson who doesn't quit.
Change doesn't start with agoal.
(04:35):
It starts with who you arewilling to become.
Two the identity shift.
Who do you actually want to be?
Here's why most resolutionsfail.
People try to change theiractions without changing their
identity.
They say, for example, I wantto lose weight instead of I am
someone who takes care of mybody.
(04:55):
They say I want to make moremoney instead of I am the type
of person who does whatever ittakes to increase my income.
They say I want to read moreinstead of saying I am someone
who prioritizes learning.
If your identity is still tiedto who you've been, you'll
always fall back into oldpatterns, because when shit gets
(05:16):
hard, your brain defaults tothe person it knows best the
version of you that quit before.
And here's the real mindfuck.
Your brain will even lie to youabout why you're quitting.
It'll tell you that walkingaway is growth when it's really
avoidance.
It'll convince you that beingalone is strength when it's
(05:36):
actually fear of facing your owngaps.
It'll whisper that you deservebetter when you never even tried
to be better in therelationship, the job or the
goal you abandoned.
Some people get so good atrunning that they mistake
running for progress.
But real growth.
It doesn't happen in isolation,it happens in the mirror.
You don't try to be disciplined, you become someone who just is
(05:59):
disciplined.
But before you start chasing thenext version of yourself, ask
yourself this the person who hasthe life I want, are they
actually happy?
What don't I see them postingon social media?
Am I idolizing their highlightreel while ignoring their
reality?
Do I even fully understand thesacrifices it takes to get what
(06:20):
they have?
Most people just don't.
They chase what looks good, notwhat actually feels right for
them, and then they wonder whythey're still miserable when
they get there.
And just like that, you'vefallen for the dream again
another victim of chasing theillusion instead of the reality.
That's what this episode isabout.
(06:40):
So before you envy someone'ssuccess, do the real research.
So before you envy someone'ssuccess, do the real research.
What does their day actuallylook like?
What are they trading away tomaintain that life?
Are they truly fulfilled orjust good at playing the part?
Because if you don't actuallyand fully, truly understand the
cost, don't you dare complainabout the price.
(07:02):
And if your answer to all ofthis is still deflection,
excuses or blame, or you knowall of the above,
congratulations.
You just found the very thingkeeping you stuck.
Because people who actuallytruly level up.
Don't spend their timejustifying why they're standing
still.
They own their shit and thenthey fix it.
(07:22):
Three the Execution Formula.
Motivation is overrated.
Look, motivation is garbage.
It wears off, it fluctuates.
It makes you feel productivewithout actually doing anything.
What you actually need is asystem that forces execution.
Here's how to stop waiting formotivation and actually get shit
done.
(07:42):
1.
Reduce friction between you andthe action.
People make excuses becausestarting is the hardest part.
You want to work out?
Lay your gym clothes out thenight before.
You want to eat better Pre-cookmeals so you don't reach for
garbage.
Do you want to write more?
Set a 10-minute timer and forceyourself to start.
Do you want a real relationship?
Stop waiting for the perfectperson and start being the kind
(08:05):
of person who can buildsomething real.
That means communicating whenit's uncomfortable, working
through problems instead ofrunning from them, and actually
showing up instead of justexpecting love to just happen to
you.
Make taking action so easy thatit's harder to avoid than to
just do it.
Two set brutal deadlines.
(08:27):
Look, most people set goalswith no urgency.
I want to get in shape thisyear.
That's too vague.
I will lose 10 pounds in 60days.
Better, but still not great.
I will weigh 195 pounds byApril 1st, and if I don't, I'm
paying $500 to a cause I hate.
Now there's real pressure.
(08:48):
Now let's talk aboutrelationships, because most
people treat them with even lessurgency than their fitness
goals.
Like monkeys with smartphones,they burn their prefrontal
cortexes on distractions insteadof actually building something
real.
I want a healthy relationship.
Well, that's too vague.
I'll start dating withintention when I'm ready.
Well, sounds smart, but if youdon't define ready, you'll keep
(09:11):
waiting forever.
I will actively build a realrelationship by showing up
consistently, communicating evenwhen it's hard, and cutting out
the cycles that have kept mestuck.
Okay, now you're actuallytaking ownership.
If you're waiting for theperfect person or the perfect
time, you're just negotiatingwith yourself.
Relationships don't just happen.
(09:32):
They require a conscious effort, just like literally anything
else worth having.
And if you let a good one go ina relationship, for the love of
everything, holy, don't do thatshit again.
You dolt People who accept youflaws and all, while still
pushing themselves to grow.
Don't just fall out again.
You dolt People who accept youflaws and all, while still
pushing themselves to grow.
Don't just fall out of thefucking sky.
You don't get infinite retrieson that level.
(09:55):
But if someone threw you awaythinking they were making the
right move, that wasn't a loss.
That was dead weight cuttingitself loose.
Because here's the truth youprobably would have stayed,
maybe forever, even if it meantcarrying all the weight of the
relationship yourself.
But look, no matter how muchpotential someone has, if they
aren't willing to grow, thenthey aren't your person.
(10:16):
So count yourself lucky.
Look, some people walk awaythinking they've won, when all
they really did was save youfrom a future where you were too
loyal to walk away from therelationship yourself.
And that's just reality.
And for the other people stillthink you're better off alone.
Maybe check out the socialmedia profiles of those who
constantly post about protectingtheir peace and cutting out
(10:38):
people who no longer serve them.
You'll find that they areliterally the failed NPCs of the
modern world, to put it nicely,the ones who think leveling up
means running away instead ofdoing the work.
You got to make it painful tofail.
Otherwise you'll keepbullshitting yourself, not
failing in a tragic or awful way, but in a way that actually
(10:59):
holds you accountable.
If you struggle with failure asan issue, maybe this move isn't
for you, but the point is toset a real goal and follow
through, so make it count.
Number three track every action,not just the outcome.
Most people measure results,but the real trick is to measure
what actually creates results.
(11:20):
You want to lose weight?
Track workouts and meals, notjust the scale.
Do you want to make more money?
Track calls, pitches and skills, not just income scale.
Do you want to make more money?
Track calls, pitches and skills, not just income.
Do you want to build discipline?
Well, track how many times youfollowed through, not just the
end goal.
By tracking what you control,you stay focused on execution,
not just results.
And, as a side note, justremember these episodes that I
(11:44):
write and publish.
They're for me too.
There's definitely someself-programming in there, which
is an awesome thing.
Number four accept that you willsuck before you succeed and
that you will suck again.
Dare to suck.
Another reason people quit theyexpect to be good at things
immediately.
The first time you work out,you will feel weak.
(12:05):
The first time you write, itwill be bad.
The first time you launch out,you will feel weak.
The first time you write.
It will be bad.
The first time you launch abusiness, you'll probably fail.
It's like 90% of smallbusinesses fail in the first two
years.
Last I checked, and that'snormal.
But most people quit here.
They tell themselves well, Iguess I'm just not meant for
this.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,wrong.
(12:27):
The people who succeed aren'tthe most talented.
They're the ones who arewilling to suck at something
long enough to get good at it,and they are willing to suck at
it again if they haven't done itin a while.
That's the nature of life.
So stop quitting because you'rebad at something.
That's just part of the process.
The no bullshit guide toactually leveling up Look, if
you want real change in 2025 andbeyond, that's just part of the
(12:47):
process.
The no Bullshit Guide toActually Leveling Up Look, if
you want real change in 2025 andbeyond, here's what it actually
takes.
One decide who you want tobecome, not what goals you want
to hit, not what habits you wantto build.
Those will come along with theperson you want to be.
Who do you want to be?
The kind of person who followsthrough no matter what?
The kind of person who doesnthrough no matter what?
(13:08):
The kind of person who doesn'tquit when it's inconvenient?
The kind of person who buildsreal self-respect through action
.
Once you make this decision,everything else falls into place
.
Two make action non-negotiable.
You don't try to go to work,you don't try to pay your bills,
you just do it because it'snon-negotiable.
Your goals should ideally workthe same way.
(13:30):
Commit to action whether youfeel like it or not.
Three cut the dead weight.
You can't level up if you'restill dragging around the same
excuses, toxic people anddistractions, if your circle is
full of complainers.
Level up your environment.
If your time is wastedscrolling, delete the apps If
(13:56):
you keep falling into the samebad habits, change your routine.
Your life will not change untilyou remove those things keeping
you stuck.
Setting boundaries versusburning bridges.
When it comes to cutting deadweight, you don't always have to
go nuclear.
You almost never do.
Actually, not everyone needs tobe cut off entirely.
You don't always have to gonuclear.
You almost never do.
Actually, not everyone needs tobe cut off entirely.
Most people don't.
Some people just need to bekept at arm's length.
Setting boundaries isn't thesame thing as setting barriers
(14:17):
Because, again, settingboundaries keeps the right
people in.
Setting barriers keeps everyoneout.
Toxic complainers Distanceyourself.
Chronic energy drainers Eh, letthem figure their own shit out.
Toxic complainers Distanceyourself.
Chronic energy drainers Eh, letthem figure their own shit out.
People always asking for moneyStop being their ATM.
Not everyone needs a hardcutoff Most people don't but if
(14:39):
you have someone whoconsistently brings negativity,
excuses or chaos into your life,then keeping them close is a
liability, not loyalty.
Dealing with the truly toxicwithout and this is important
becoming like them.
Now, if you're dealing withsomeone who is genuinely
manipulative, the kind of personwho preys on others, twists
(15:00):
narratives or thrives on control, that's different.
Here's the thing.
Real narcissists are verypredictable.
That's their weakness.
They run the same playbook overand over again and you can see
it coming from a mile away.
And, yeah, you could exploitthat weakness.
But if you do, you become partof the game and that makes you
(15:23):
no better than them.
The healthier move Detach.
Stop engaging.
Move on.
Let them fade into irrelevance.
Don't let their dysfunctionbecome your problem.
But here's where people mess up.
They ghost people instead ofhaving the hard conversation.
They cut people off withoutever giving them a chance to fix
it.
They ghost people instead ofhaving the hard conversation.
They cut people off withoutever giving them a chance to fix
it.
They walk away thinking theywon when they really just ran.
(15:48):
If someone matters enough tohave been part of your life,
then they deserve clarity.
If you're stepping back, tellthem why.
If they don't fix it, hey,that's on them, but at least
they had the chance.
A quick note for theself-centered yeah you.
For the self-serving types outthere, the ones who struggle
(16:08):
with emotional empathy, maybethis will make more sense to you
.
You never know who's going tobe your boss someday.
Even if you work for yourself,you never know who's going to be
your next paying customer.
You can get far in life bymanipulating, controlling and
using people, but the moment yourun out of pawns you're screwed
.
So even if your only motivationto be a better person is
(16:30):
because it benefits you, fine,whatever gets you to actually
work on yourself.
But just know this nobodyactually needs you.
You're not as irreplaceable asyou think.
People tolerate you.
That's not the same as valuingyou.
You can keep playing the game,but eventually you run out of
players and when that day comes,the only person left to
(16:51):
manipulate is yourself.
So either do the work now orfind out the hard way.
Your call Because, let's behonest, just like no one will
look out for you better than you, you don't have to live with
anyone more than you have tolive with yourself.
It's not like anyone else hasto.
But there I go with that logicagain, pesky, pesky logic.
(17:12):
So the final thing is to buildproof of who you are.
Every time you follow through,you're proving to yourself that
you're actually different andnot one of the stereotypes your
ego makes you believe you arenot.
Your ego will make you believethat you're not a stereotype.
But let's see if you were towrite down everything you
objectively did, bullet point bybullet point, in the order that
(17:33):
you did it in, and then readthat back to yourself, you'll
figure out really quick whetheryou're the toxic one or not, or
the emotionally codependent oneor not, or whatever you have
going on.
Journaling is good.
So again, every time you followthrough, you're proving to
yourself that you're actuallydifferent, not one of the
stereotypes your ego makes youbelieve that you are not.
So, for example, every workoutis proof that you're someone who
(17:58):
trains.
Every time you say no toexcuses, it's proof you're
disciplined.
Every day you execute, it'sproof that you've already
changed.
The more proof you build, theharder it is to go back.
Final takeaway make 2025 andbeyond the year of relentless
execution.
At the end of the day, levelingup is simple, but it's not easy
.
It's a series of decisions andnone of them are comfortable.
(18:20):
So make them.
Decide who you want to be.
Make action non-negotiable.
Cut the dead weight.
Build proof through execution.
So, before you close thisepisode, do one thing that
forces action.
Write down your first moveDelete the app that's wasting
your time.
Schedule the thing that you'vebeen putting off.
(18:41):
Start now, because the nextyear is always coming, no matter
what.
The only difference is whetheryou're ahead of it or still
standing in the same place.
Thank you.
Cutting the crap in 2025.
What it takes to actually levelup.
Resolutions are cute,discipline is better.
Introduction why most peoplestay stuck.
Every new year, people do thesame thing.
They set big goals.
This is the year I finally getmy life together.
(00:30):
They make vision boards.
I'm manifesting success.
They get hyped up on motivation.
New year, new me, and byFebruary, the gym is empty.
The goals are forgotten.
The same excuses resurface.
Why?
Because most people don'tactually want to change.
They just want the feeling ofprogress without the work.
(00:54):
Before we get into it, let'sstart at the foundation.
This episode is for people whohave already listened to the
last 11 episodes, each about 5to 15 minutes long or less.
If you haven't, you're skippingsteps, and that's exactly why
most people never level up.
Think of these episodes asbuilding a foundation.
You wouldn't build a house onshifting sand, so why would you
(01:17):
try to change your life withouta solid base?
You wouldn't jump straight tolifting heavy without mastering
form, so why would you jump intobig goals without reworking
your mindset?
Each of these past 11 episodescovered critical mental shifts
that most people never make, andalso my episode about dodging
accountability.
(01:38):
I accidentally didn't renderthe whole thing, so it's been
updated.
It should be 18 minutes long,not 12 minutes long, and so if
you were listening and it cutoff, go back and have another
lesson, but anyways movingforward.
One the glass door problembreaking through the invisible
limits you don't even see.
Two the learned helplessnessepidemic how to stop making
(02:01):
excuses and reclaim control.
Three AI and the silenthijacking of identity, spotting
where you're being influencedwithout realizing it.
Four the self-agency paradoxwhy real control requires
flexibility not rigidity.
Five when strength is justnoise, the difference between
looking strong and actuallybeing strong.
(02:21):
Six the extremely self-centeredvampire myth protecting
yourself from energy-drainingpeople.
Seven the psychology of peoplewho can't take accountability
how to spot and avoid those whorefuse to grow.
Episode eight how to spot themoment you are becoming the
problem, recognizing when theissue is you.
Episode nine the right questionat the right time how asking
(02:42):
better questions changeseverything.
Episode ten the bullshitQuestion at the Right Time.
How Asking Better QuestionsChanges Everything.
Episode 10, the Bullshit oftheir Truth Versus Reality
Filtering Through the Noise toStand in Objective Truth.
And episode 11, medicationSociety and the Misunderstood
Middle Ground how to BalanceExternal Influences and Personal
Responsibility.
If you've gone through theseepisodes, absorbed them and done
the work, then you're ready forthis next step.
(03:04):
If you haven't, go back andlisten, thank you.
The brutal truth about why mostpeople fail to change how to
shift your identity, not justyour habits, the difference
(03:26):
between motivation and execution, and the exact steps to stop
planning and start leveling upIf you're tired of making the
same empty promises to yourself.
This is how you actually moveforward.
So if you haven't watched the11 episodes, stop, rewind, go
back, listen to the other 11episodes and then come back here
.
But if you have, welcome back,so let's get into it.
(03:51):
One why most people never change, even when they want to.
Here's the cold, hard truth.
Most people don't lackmotivation, they lack discipline
and identity shifts.
They think change happens likethis.
Number one set a goal.
Number two get motivated.
Number three do the work.
Number four succeed, but inreality, change happens like
(04:14):
this.
Number one confront the brutaltruth of why you're still stuck.
Number two detach from theidentity that's keeping you
there.
Number three restructure yourmindset so failure isn't an
option.
Number four do the workconsistently, especially when
it's boring.
Number five become the type ofperson who doesn't quit.
Change doesn't start with agoal.
(04:35):
It starts with who you arewilling to become.
Two the identity shift.
Who do you actually want to be?
Here's why most resolutionsfail.
People try to change theiractions without changing their
identity.
They say, for example, I wantto lose weight instead of I am
someone who takes care of mybody.
(04:55):
They say I want to make moremoney instead of I am the type
of person who does whatever ittakes to increase my income.
They say I want to read moreinstead of saying I am someone
who prioritizes learning.
If your identity is still tiedto who you've been, you'll
always fall back into oldpatterns, because when shit gets
(05:16):
hard, your brain defaults tothe person it knows best the
version of you that quit before.
And here's the real mindfuck.
Your brain will even lie to youabout why you're quitting.
It'll tell you that walkingaway is growth when it's really
avoidance.
It'll convince you that beingalone is strength when it's
(05:36):
actually fear of facing your owngaps.
It'll whisper that you deservebetter when you never even tried
to be better in therelationship, the job or the
goal you abandoned.
Some people get so good atrunning that they mistake
running for progress.
But real growth.
It doesn't happen in isolation,it happens in the mirror.
You don't try to be disciplined, you become someone who just is
(05:59):
disciplined.
But before you start chasing thenext version of yourself, ask
yourself this the person who hasthe life I want, are they
actually happy?
What don't I see them postingon social media?
Am I idolizing their highlightreel while ignoring their
reality?
Do I even fully understand thesacrifices it takes to get what
(06:20):
they have?
Most people just don't.
They chase what looks good, notwhat actually feels right for
them, and then they wonder whythey're still miserable when
they get there.
And just like that, you'vefallen for the dream again
another victim of chasing theillusion instead of the reality.
That's what this episode isabout.
(06:40):
So before you envy someone'ssuccess, do the real research.
So before you envy someone'ssuccess, do the real research.
What does their day actuallylook like?
What are they trading away tomaintain that life?
Are they truly fulfilled orjust good at playing the part?
Because if you don't actuallyand fully, truly understand the
cost, don't you dare complainabout the price.
(07:02):
And if your answer to all ofthis is still deflection,
excuses or blame, or you knowall of the above,
congratulations.
You just found the very thingkeeping you stuck.
Because people who actuallytruly level up.
Don't spend their timejustifying why they're standing
still.
They own their shit and thenthey fix it.
(07:22):
Three the Execution Formula.
Motivation is overrated.
Look, motivation is garbage.
It wears off, it fluctuates.
It makes you feel productivewithout actually doing anything.
What you actually need is asystem that forces execution.
Here's how to stop waiting formotivation and actually get shit
done.
(07:42):
1.
Reduce friction between you andthe action.
People make excuses becausestarting is the hardest part.
You want to work out?
Lay your gym clothes out thenight before.
You want to eat better Pre-cookmeals so you don't reach for
garbage.
Do you want to write more?
Set a 10-minute timer and forceyourself to start.
Do you want a real relationship?
Stop waiting for the perfectperson and start being the kind
(08:05):
of person who can buildsomething real.
That means communicating whenit's uncomfortable, working
through problems instead ofrunning from them, and actually
showing up instead of justexpecting love to just happen to
you.
Make taking action so easy thatit's harder to avoid than to
just do it.
Two set brutal deadlines.
(08:27):
Look, most people set goalswith no urgency.
I want to get in shape thisyear.
That's too vague.
I will lose 10 pounds in 60days.
Better, but still not great.
I will weigh 195 pounds byApril 1st, and if I don't, I'm
paying $500 to a cause I hate.
Now there's real pressure.
(08:48):
Now let's talk aboutrelationships, because most
people treat them with even lessurgency than their fitness
goals.
Like monkeys with smartphones,they burn their prefrontal
cortexes on distractions insteadof actually building something
real.
I want a healthy relationship.
Well, that's too vague.
I'll start dating withintention when I'm ready.
Well, sounds smart, but if youdon't define ready, you'll keep
(09:11):
waiting forever.
I will actively build a realrelationship by showing up
consistently, communicating evenwhen it's hard, and cutting out
the cycles that have kept mestuck.
Okay, now you're actuallytaking ownership.
If you're waiting for theperfect person or the perfect
time, you're just negotiatingwith yourself.
Relationships don't just happen.
(09:32):
They require a conscious effort, just like literally anything
else worth having.
And if you let a good one go ina relationship, for the love of
everything, holy, don't do thatshit again.
You dolt People who accept youflaws and all, while still
pushing themselves to grow.
Don't just fall out again.
You dolt People who accept youflaws and all, while still
pushing themselves to grow.
Don't just fall out of thefucking sky.
You don't get infinite retrieson that level.
(09:55):
But if someone threw you awaythinking they were making the
right move, that wasn't a loss.
That was dead weight cuttingitself loose.
Because here's the truth youprobably would have stayed,
maybe forever, even if it meantcarrying all the weight of the
relationship yourself.
But look, no matter how muchpotential someone has, if they
aren't willing to grow, thenthey aren't your person.
(10:16):
So count yourself lucky.
Look, some people walk awaythinking they've won, when all
they really did was save youfrom a future where you were too
loyal to walk away from therelationship yourself.
And that's just reality.
And for the other people stillthink you're better off alone.
Maybe check out the socialmedia profiles of those who
constantly post about protectingtheir peace and cutting out
(10:38):
people who no longer serve them.
You'll find that they areliterally the failed NPCs of the
modern world, to put it nicely,the ones who think leveling up
means running away instead ofdoing the work.
You got to make it painful tofail.
Otherwise you'll keepbullshitting yourself, not
failing in a tragic or awful way, but in a way that actually
(10:59):
holds you accountable.
If you struggle with failure asan issue, maybe this move isn't
for you, but the point is toset a real goal and follow
through, so make it count.
Number three track every action,not just the outcome.
Most people measure results,but the real trick is to measure
what actually creates results.
(11:20):
You want to lose weight?
Track workouts and meals, notjust the scale.
Do you want to make more money?
Track calls, pitches and skills, not just income scale.
Do you want to make more money?
Track calls, pitches and skills, not just income.
Do you want to build discipline?
Well, track how many times youfollowed through, not just the
end goal.
By tracking what you control,you stay focused on execution,
not just results.
And, as a side note, justremember these episodes that I
(11:44):
write and publish.
They're for me too.
There's definitely someself-programming in there, which
is an awesome thing.
Number four accept that you willsuck before you succeed and
that you will suck again.
Dare to suck.
Another reason people quit theyexpect to be good at things
immediately.
The first time you work out,you will feel weak.
(12:05):
The first time you write, itwill be bad.
The first time you launch out,you will feel weak.
The first time you write.
It will be bad.
The first time you launch abusiness, you'll probably fail.
It's like 90% of smallbusinesses fail in the first two
years.
Last I checked, and that'snormal.
But most people quit here.
They tell themselves well, Iguess I'm just not meant for
this.
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong,wrong.
(12:27):
The people who succeed aren'tthe most talented.
They're the ones who arewilling to suck at something
long enough to get good at it,and they are willing to suck at
it again if they haven't done itin a while.
That's the nature of life.
So stop quitting because you'rebad at something.
That's just part of the process.
The no bullshit guide toactually leveling up Look, if
you want real change in 2025 andbeyond, that's just part of the
(12:47):
process.
The no Bullshit Guide toActually Leveling Up Look, if
you want real change in 2025 andbeyond, here's what it actually
takes.
One decide who you want tobecome, not what goals you want
to hit, not what habits you wantto build.
Those will come along with theperson you want to be.
Who do you want to be?
The kind of person who followsthrough no matter what?
The kind of person who doesnthrough no matter what?
(13:08):
The kind of person who doesn'tquit when it's inconvenient?
The kind of person who buildsreal self-respect through action
.
Once you make this decision,everything else falls into place
.
Two make action non-negotiable.
You don't try to go to work,you don't try to pay your bills,
you just do it because it'snon-negotiable.
Your goals should ideally workthe same way.
(13:30):
Commit to action whether youfeel like it or not.
Three cut the dead weight.
You can't level up if you'restill dragging around the same
excuses, toxic people anddistractions, if your circle is
full of complainers.
Level up your environment.
If your time is wastedscrolling, delete the apps If
(13:56):
you keep falling into the samebad habits, change your routine.
Your life will not change untilyou remove those things keeping
you stuck.
Setting boundaries versusburning bridges.
When it comes to cutting deadweight, you don't always have to
go nuclear.
You almost never do.
Actually, not everyone needs tobe cut off entirely.
You don't always have to gonuclear.
You almost never do.
Actually, not everyone needs tobe cut off entirely.
Most people don't.
Some people just need to bekept at arm's length.
Setting boundaries isn't thesame thing as setting barriers
(14:17):
Because, again, settingboundaries keeps the right
people in.
Setting barriers keeps everyoneout.
Toxic complainers Distanceyourself.
Chronic energy drainers Eh, letthem figure their own shit out.
Toxic complainers Distanceyourself.
Chronic energy drainers Eh, letthem figure their own shit out.
People always asking for moneyStop being their ATM.
Not everyone needs a hardcutoff Most people don't but if
(14:39):
you have someone whoconsistently brings negativity,
excuses or chaos into your life,then keeping them close is a
liability, not loyalty.
Dealing with the truly toxicwithout and this is important
becoming like them.
Now, if you're dealing withsomeone who is genuinely
manipulative, the kind of personwho preys on others, twists
(15:00):
narratives or thrives on control, that's different.
Here's the thing.
Real narcissists are verypredictable.
That's their weakness.
They run the same playbook overand over again and you can see
it coming from a mile away.
And, yeah, you could exploitthat weakness.
But if you do, you become partof the game and that makes you
(15:23):
no better than them.
The healthier move Detach.
Stop engaging.
Move on.
Let them fade into irrelevance.
Don't let their dysfunctionbecome your problem.
But here's where people mess up.
They ghost people instead ofhaving the hard conversation.
They cut people off withoutever giving them a chance to fix
it.
They ghost people instead ofhaving the hard conversation.
They cut people off withoutever giving them a chance to fix
it.
They walk away thinking theywon when they really just ran.
(15:48):
If someone matters enough tohave been part of your life,
then they deserve clarity.
If you're stepping back, tellthem why.
If they don't fix it, hey,that's on them, but at least
they had the chance.
A quick note for theself-centered yeah you.
For the self-serving types outthere, the ones who struggle
(16:08):
with emotional empathy, maybethis will make more sense to you
.
You never know who's going tobe your boss someday.
Even if you work for yourself,you never know who's going to be
your next paying customer.
You can get far in life bymanipulating, controlling and
using people, but the moment yourun out of pawns you're screwed
.
So even if your only motivationto be a better person is
(16:30):
because it benefits you, fine,whatever gets you to actually
work on yourself.
But just know this nobodyactually needs you.
You're not as irreplaceable asyou think.
People tolerate you.
That's not the same as valuingyou.
You can keep playing the game,but eventually you run out of
players and when that day comes,the only person left to
(16:51):
manipulate is yourself.
So either do the work now orfind out the hard way.
Your call Because, let's behonest, just like no one will
look out for you better than you, you don't have to live with
anyone more than you have tolive with yourself.
It's not like anyone else hasto.
But there I go with that logicagain, pesky, pesky logic.
(17:12):
So the final thing is to buildproof of who you are.
Every time you follow through,you're proving to yourself that
you're actually different andnot one of the stereotypes your
ego makes you believe you arenot.
Your ego will make you believethat you're not a stereotype.
But let's see if you were towrite down everything you
objectively did, bullet point bybullet point, in the order that
(17:33):
you did it in, and then readthat back to yourself, you'll
figure out really quick whetheryou're the toxic one or not, or
the emotionally codependent oneor not, or whatever you have
going on.
Journaling is good.
So again, every time you followthrough, you're proving to
yourself that you're actuallydifferent, not one of the
stereotypes your ego makes youbelieve that you are not.
So, for example, every workoutis proof that you're someone who
(17:58):
trains.
Every time you say no toexcuses, it's proof you're
disciplined.
Every day you execute, it'sproof that you've already
changed.
The more proof you build, theharder it is to go back.
Final takeaway make 2025 andbeyond the year of relentless
execution.
At the end of the day, levelingup is simple, but it's not easy
.
It's a series of decisions andnone of them are comfortable.
(18:20):
So make them.
Decide who you want to be.
Make action non-negotiable.
Cut the dead weight.
Build proof through execution.
So, before you close thisepisode, do one thing that
forces action.
Write down your first moveDelete the app that's wasting
your time.
Schedule the thing that you'vebeen putting off.
(18:41):
Start now, because the nextyear is always coming, no matter
what.
The only difference is whetheryou're ahead of it or still
standing in the same place.
Thank you.
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