Standing Alone or Standing Together? The Self-Defeating Stance of Modern Movements

Refusing intimacy without commitment and shaving heads as a statement of empowerment—could this be the most controversial trend yet? Join us as we unravel the complexities of a movement loosely inspired by South Korea's 4B movement, where only a select few women are embracing these bold declarations. With a mixture of humor and skepticism, we explore how this trend affects dating dynamics, questioning if it's genuinely empowering or just another flash-in-the-pan fad.

As we navigate through the tangled web of modern relationships, we ponder whether these actions are driven by true frustration or cleverly disguised marketing gimmicks. Listen as we dissect the sincerity of self-proclaimed celibates juxtaposed against dating app data, and unveil the motivations behind the trend. Are these women simply doing what men have desired all along by demanding commitment before intimacy, or are they unwittingly shooting themselves in the foot? Let's laugh, ponder, and debate the societal implications and emotional versus logical approaches to these polarizing issues.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, let me break this down because it's
actually kind of funny and a bitsad all at once.
There's this trend where ahandful of women are making
these bold stands vowing not tosleep with men unless they
commit, shaving their heads as astatement, that kind of thing.
It's supposedly based on the 4Bmovement from South Korea.
Although to call it a movementis generous, it's really just a

(00:22):
tiny fraction of women takingpart and interestingly it tends
to attract the type of women menaren't generally looking to
commit to long-term, aside frommaybe a quick romp.
So from the start it's a bitself-defeating and even
self-destructive.
And here's the kicker A lot ofwomen are actually speaking out
against it, calling it out forbeing counterproductive.

(00:43):
Some of them even appreciate itbecause in a way, it removes
potential rivals for the menthey're interested in.
Sure, it's evolutionary biologythinking, but you ignore those
instincts at your own risk, andthat's what I'm saying.
Right now, only a smallpercentage of women are actually
following through with thisidea of not sleeping with men
unless they commit, or shavingtheir heads bald as a statement,

(01:06):
and honestly I'm glad they'redoing it.
The moment I see a bald-headedwoman, I immediately think she's
one of those.
They're just shootingthemselves in the foot.
The irony here is that men havebeen asking for more commitment
before intimacy, so these womenare essentially doing what men
have been wanting all along.
The only men who might feel theimpact of the shift if it

(01:30):
actually takes off are the oneswho aren't serious about
relationships, though honestly Idoubt it will last, given the
nature of these women.
I mean, look at that wholeshort-lived man versus bear
thing that blew up for a minute,then fizzled out just as fast.
People realized it wascompletely skewed and based on
ridiculous logic and faulty data.

(01:50):
It was doomed from the startand I see this movement headed
down a similar path.
And let's be real, some ofthese movements are probably
just schemes to sell productslike take the whole blue
bracelet thing.
I wouldn't be surprised if theidea was planted just to sell
products like take the wholeblue bracelet thing.
I wouldn't be surprised if theidea was planted just to sell
something to them, likely by awoman-owned business that's
right-wing or capitalist,someone who knows how to massage

(02:13):
their ideology and stroke theiregos just enough to cash in on
it.
They're getting fleeced andhalf of them don't even realize
it.
As men, we see this stuff and,yeah, there's empathy there.
We understand that some ofthese ideas come from a place of
frustration or confusion andlook, I know this might come off
as patronizing and these typeswill probably label it that way

(02:35):
and dismiss it.
That's okay, because the proofis in the pudding.
Just compare the lives we'releading to theirs and the
difference speaks for itself.
A lot of them say they'resingle, but in reality, that
often just means they'recasually seeing different people
without committing.
Now, sure, there are women outthere who genuinely choose

(02:55):
celibacy, and I respect that,but the loudest voices they're
usually not practicing what theypreach and dating app data
supports that.
So it feels like they're doingus a favor by taking themselves
out of the dating pool and, yeah, maybe they should shave their
heads.
It makes it clear to me who notto waste time on.
It's like a flag for us.

(03:17):
The difference between men andwomen in these debates comes
down to logic versus emotion.
Logic wins every time and menas a group tend to approach
things more logically than women.
Look, I know this sounds harshand I'm not generalizing about
all women, but there's a subsetwho think we're going to
withhold intimacy until mencommit and we're shaving our
heads in solidarity.

(03:37):
Great, I'm happy for them, butrealistically, this resolve will
probably last until they're outat a bar and some guy says the
right thing.
I try not to pick on thesewomen too much, though.
It's like picking on afive-year-old.
There's a lack of awareness.
Some of them don't seem tounderstand how things work.

(03:58):
In many cases, their parentsdidn't equip them well and sure
there are men with the sameissue whose parents failed to
guide them too.
The thing that gets me is ifthese women or men were taking
these stands based on facts andreal convictions, I'd have more
respect for it, but the mediahas brainwashed so many people.
Take that famous Trump clip,for example, when he said

(04:21):
there's fine people on bothsides.
The media only showed thatsnippet, but if you watch the
full clip, he condemns both theradical left and the radical
right, before saying that he wasclearly referring to
non-radicals.
The media, though, doesn't showthe full picture.
I found myself doing my ownresearch before voting, looking
at full clips from both sides.

(04:41):
It was eye-opening.
Trump turned out to be moremoderate than he was portrayed.
Now don't get me wrong.
He's a grandiose narcissist, nodoubt about it, but grandiose
narcissists are actually easy tomanipulate because they want to
look good, so it'sstraightforward to steer them in
a certain direction.
This is why I avoid talkingpolitics with most people.

(05:03):
It's exhausting.
When I do talk about it, it'swith people who can back up
their views with data.
If someone can challenge myperspective with facts, I'm all
for it and I'll re-evaluate.
I believe it's possible to holdconflicting ideas and see value
in both, which is whatcognitive dissonance boils down
to.
We often feel uncomfortablewith conflicting beliefs, so we

(05:24):
pick one to avoid thatdiscomfort.
But to me it's straightforward.
Both things can be true.
Climate change, for example, isreal and happening.
Data shows we contribute to it.
At the same time, governmentsand corporations are exploiting
it.
Both are true.
Yet many people deny climatechange just because it's been
politicized.

(05:44):
It's frustrating because it'ssuch black and white thinking.
Life isn't black and white.
Yes, there are things that areobjectively wrong, like harming
kids, that's clear cut.
But most situations they fallinto shades of gray.
I grew up thinking things wereblack and white, but the
military opened my eyes.
There are billions of shades ofgray and most things in life
sit somewhere in the middle.

(06:05):
It's just how it is.
In the end, I just find myselfshaking my head at all of it.
Life is complicated enoughwithout everyone trying to play
these mind games or adoptextreme stances that don't even
hold up to their own beliefs.
And look, I'm all for standingfor something, but at least base
it on reality.
It's just another reminder forme to stay grounded, watch

(06:27):
people's actions, not theirwords, and maybe even have a
little laugh along the way.
At the end of the day, I thinkwe're all just trying to find
some clarity in the mess.