November 11, 2025 • 38 mins
How often do you find yourself buried beneath expectations, clients pulling at your time, success pulling at your energy, and the world pulling at your identity?
In this powerful episode of The ICONIK CEO™ Podcast, I sit down with Martine Cohen, a transformative coach and author whose journey from corporate attorney to empowerment mentor reveals what’s possible when you choose authenticity over exhaustion.
After a devastating car accident that changed everything, Martine discovered that true freedom comes when you finally separate who you are from what you do. Her story is both raw and liberating, a reminder that the hardest moments can often become our most profound breakthroughs.
Together, we explore how to shed the emotional and mental “layers” that keep you tied to old versions of yourself. We talk about how to trust your inner voice, embrace vulnerability as a form of power, and build a life and business aligned with your truest self.
Because burnout isn’t just about doing too much, it’s about forgetting who you are while doing it.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, unseen, or disconnected from your purpose, this conversation will help you find your way back home to yourself.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- How to separate your identity from your emotions and external validation.
- Why adversity can be the catalyst for your most authentic growth.
- The power of vulnerability and awareness in personal transformation.
- How to lead your business from alignment, not obligation
- Martine’s three pillars: Adventure, Awareness, and Alignment for a more grounded, fulfilled life.
Your Takeaways:
- Your worth isn’t tied to your work. You’re not your titles or your to-do list.
- Awareness creates alignment. When you slow down long enough to listen, clarity follows.
- Vulnerability is your superpower. The more you allow yourself to be seen, the more authentic your success becomes.
- Transformation starts with truth. You can’t change what you refuse to see.
Connect with Martine Cohen:
Take Aligned Action
If this episode resonated with you, don’t just think about what’s next, be what’s next.
Join me inside The Disruptive Chronicles, a weekly love letter for women entrepreneurs who are ready to shed the layers, reclaim their power, and rise with clarity and confidence.
👉🏾 Sign up for The Disruptive Chronicles here.
- Because the real revolution starts when you stop performing and start being.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Welcome with your host andbusiness guru, Nakisha King. This
podcast is the ultimatedestination for women creative entrepreneurs
who want to break free fromburnout. If you are overwhelmed by
client demands and feel likeyou're doing this all alone, you,
my friend, are in the rightplace. Now let's dive in for steps
(00:26):
to take back your time andself, simplify your workflow.
All right, Nikisha, take itaway. Hello and welcome to Iconic
CEO Podcast, where freespirits find or fall in love with
systems. I'm your host,Nikisha, and also your sales and
(00:48):
systems coach. And on today'sepisode, we have an amazing guest.
We have Martine Cohen. She ishere to share a little bit more with
us about transforming asiconic CEOs. And I will love to introduce
who this person is that you'regoing to engage with today. So, Martine
Cohen is an author, speaker,and a transformative coach. She has
(01:10):
dedicated her life, herenjoyment to empowering individuals
like you to lead themselvesfrom authenticity. She separates
their identity from theiremotions and their thoughts. Thoughts
and make choices from a deepinner awareness and alignment. You
guys know this is why you'rehere and this is why she makes an
(01:30):
amazing guess. Martine's workis rooted in belief that true success
comes from within. And she ispassionate about guiding others to
find that ease, that joy andfulfillment by removing the layers
that obscure their innerlight. As both a lawyer and a corporate
leadership consultant, I,Martine is known for her ability
(01:52):
to help high achievingprofessionals navigate their personal
and professional transitions.Martine, welcome to the Iconic CEO
podcast. Thank you for beinghere today.
Nikisha. I'm so happy to behere today and thank you for having
me.
Yes. Now, you stated that youpractice law and you now help women
(02:14):
find their light. Can you tellme what happened and help me understand?
By the way, my audience. Yes.I'm getting to know Martine, just
like you. I love this. I getreally curious when I read their
value and I'm like, hold on,what happened? Tell me more.
Oh, yeah, because. Because youknow when you read that, that something
definitely had to happen. Itjust doesn't, you know, organically
(02:36):
work that way. So in my case,it's quite a story. You know, when
the universe has plans for youand you're kind of like that little
inner voice and you're notlistening and it gets louder and
louder and louder. For me, itliterally hit me over the head. This
is what I mean. So, yeah, Istarted off as a corporate attorney,
kind of like a little bit typea, sort of like perfectionist, love
(02:56):
law. Absolutely adore law, butnot so much the perfectionism aspect
and the other stuff that comesalong with it or that I embodied
at the time. And then in 2016,I was in a very serious car accident.
There's a car that rammed intome. I didn't even see it coming.
And I lost consciousness. Andwhen I came to, I was later diagnosed
with post concussive syndrome,which means that I had a serious
(03:16):
concussion that wasn't goingaway on its own in a couple of weeks.
And I couldn't have aconversation. I didn't understand
words when they were puttogether. I could kind of speak,
but I couldn't filter theworld. And I didn't know who I was
anymore. It was a very darkand scary period, like the scariest
time of my life. And I didn'tknow what to do. I didn't know if
I would be okay again. Ididn't know if I'd be able to work.
(03:38):
I couldn't feel who I wasanymore. It's like I lost myself.
And then I was thrust in thiskind of, like, abyss or darkness
and really, really frighteningtime. The interesting part was that
I had no thoughts other thanfeeling fear, other emotions around
it. I had no story, I had nojudgment. I had no criticism because
I had a dysfunctional brain.So all of these things and all these
(04:02):
limitations and all thesebeliefs actually come from our brain.
So when our brain is out tolunch or checked out like mine was,
I call it the blessing ofdysfunctional brain. Because in a
way, it really was a blessing.I had no sort of, like, experience
about it except really beingin the moment of experiencing all
of this. And at one point,something either instinctive or intuitive,
(04:22):
I don't really know to thisday, made me go within. And when
I went within, I saw all thesefears and darkness. I. I explored
what I like to call my innerlandscape. And I started seeing all
the weeds and all the. I callthem, layers that we have from childhood
that prevent us from being whowe are and hold us back and all these
mental constructs and allthese, you know, hats that we wear
(04:42):
that we believe become who weare or we think this is who we are.
So I thought I was my brainand I'm not my brain. And at one
point, as I'm going throughthis and really exploring and feeling
the intensity of those fearsand working through them and watching
them dissolve before me,because if we lean into fears and
we shine enough light,eventually they just have no choice
(05:04):
but to dissipate, which wasreally interesting to experience.
And then at one point I'mlike, but how do I know I'm doing
this? Like, at one point I wasaware of my awareness. Fascinating.
And it like, hold on, mybrain's not working. I can't have
this conversation with anotherhuman being. But I have all this
awareness. And that was mytrue, powerful aha moment where I
was like, oh, my goodness, I'mnot my brain. We are not our brain.
(05:27):
We are so much more. And thatwas kind of became this sort of,
like, guiding light or thiskind of understanding or knowing
rather, that sort ofinstructed the rest of this journey
where I worked through mylayers and. And as I worked through
them, I just became more ofwho I was. I was still concussed,
and yet I felt like myselfagain. And that was so powerful to
(05:49):
know that, you know, you'renot your organ, you're not your looks,
you're not your status, you'renot your job, you're not your roles
in life. You're the essence ofwho you are. And just we, though,
constrict that with all theroles and identities that we place
on ourselves and expectations,rather than expanding into it and
then do whatever we're goingto do and interact from that place.
So for me, it was thisexpansive, transformative journey
(06:12):
that I am so grateful for. Ittook every ounce of courage to keep
walking it, but I did it. AndI'm very grateful for my concussed
self at the time because itbrought me to this point. Then I
ended up healing my brain. Andonce I did, I realized, oh, my goodness,
this was not just for me. Thisreally wasn't for me. This was for
me to then bring this to theworld. And I started a little group
in my living room of women notknowing what. What I was doing, but
(06:35):
I just did it. And I. Istarted, you know, teaching these
things and havingconversations and discuss whatnot.
And at one point, one of thesewomen came up to me afterwards and
said, I think you can help mymom. Would you give her a recession?
I'm a corporate attorney. Idon't do sessions. I don't know what
that means. And somethinginside of me said to say yes. So
I said yes. And afterwards Ireflected. I was like, oh, my goodness,
(06:55):
what did I just say yes to?How do I know what to do? And I just
said, I need to trust myself.I need to empty myself out, really
ground myself. And just thisis something that's being offered
to me that I need to stepinto. And this woman came to see
me, and I was able to helpher. And I was shocked that I was
able to help her. And that'swhen I started realizing, okay, there's
a gift here. There's somethingthat I was given because I chose
(07:18):
to walk this path and say yeswhen I was concussed and go through
my own layers. And I startedto trust it slowly getting out of
my head, it's always been inmy head. And starting to trust the
other parts of me and startingto trust that connection with the
universe and starting to trustthat I could read soul energy and
I could read other people and,and I could truly guide them and
help them remove and dissolvewhatever blocks and layers that you
(07:39):
know, resided within them thatthey were not maybe even aware of
that were still there. And sopeople would start coming to me and
start asking me things. And myclients, they became clients afterwards
were started telling me, youknow, you should write this in a
book and you should this, you,you gotta disseminate this further.
And I was like, nah, I don'tknow. Then at one point I sat down
with myself and like, okay,listen, why not? And to be perfectly
(08:03):
honest with you, I didn't havea good reason why not. And so I embarked
on writing a book. And it wasa two year long journey because I
wanted to meet the readerexactly where they were at and offer
them an experience based on myown. So I had to be vulnerable. And
I'm really a private person bynature, but I was like, if I'm going
to ask a reader to show up andto receive, I need to be able to
open up and be vulnerable andshow them that it's okay. And you
(08:26):
can. So I did that. I wrotethe book. It has client stories,
it has exercises to integrate,it has questioning, it has deep dives,
but it's really anexperiential, transformational journey.
It was written as such becausethat was my intention before I wrote
the book. And it won awards.It just won best self leadership
book at the InternationalBusiness Awards. It won gold and
(08:47):
silver. It won at the IndieExcellence Award. It won, it won
actually first place for SelfHelp Spiritual. So to me that shows
me that A, there's a need, B,it's being recognized and it makes
me deeply grateful and joyfulbecause it's getting into the hands
of the people that it canhelp. And that was really my intent.
(09:09):
So today I'm a speaker, I'm anauthor, I'm a personal coach. I give
workshops on self leadershipand ownership of self and stepping
into your power and freeingyourself from the inside out. And
I've recently pivoted fulltime to this because while law is
a passion of mine, this istruly my calling. You know, it's
okay to do that. It's reallyokay to follow what, you know, you
(09:31):
need to do to contribute tothe world.
Yeah, the interesting part wasa transformative journey. The transformative
journey was not havingconsciousness of fear and all the
things that limit us and thenbecoming aware of it while still
concuss. And then in thatallowing, saying yes, and I think
(09:52):
as iconic CEOs, that is atransformation. The transformation
is letting go of the identityyou were given when you were younger,
the conditions, the beliefs,and refreshing them, updating them,
shifting them, and thendeciding this new step, this new
journey, your mission, yourpurpose was put in place just for
(10:13):
you. And you have everythingyou need for that journey. And when
you share your story, it tooka moment in life where you had to
go down into a valley to riseagain. It's like a phoenix, the phoenix
rising. And we all experiencethat in different ways. Some are
very life threatening, someare a aha moment because that was
(10:37):
what it was for me. And itdoesn't have to be in the valley.
It could be different ways inthe valley. It doesn't always have
to be this physical, lifethreatening experience. But we all
experience it differentlybecause sometimes when we're fully
in our brain, we can't getout. I don't know about you, but
when we're fully in our brain,we're like.
Not only can't you get out,but your brain doesn't want you to
(10:58):
get out because it's whenyou're in there, because it can keep
you safe. So all theseidentities, by the way, and all these
rules that we play and allthese sort of limitations when we
think we're actuallyexpanding, we're restricting, is
because the brain prefers toplay itself safe. And by safe it
means let's just go to theknown, let's just go to familiar.
It doesn't have to be good orbad. The brain has. That part of
the brain has no discernmentlike going through this process.
(11:21):
I learned so many brain hacksand that's what I share in the book
and that's what I teach myclients. Because in reality, if you
really understand your brain,your brain will become your best
assistant, but you will neverlet it be in your driver's seat again.
Okay, now in this series thatyou're a part of, we call it the
but what if series. Andthere's a lot of great things you
just Shared with us becausethere's one instance but what if?
(11:45):
And you created transformationbecause you were looking at the opposite.
When someone said write abook, you was like, I can't find
the no.
Right.
You, there's a what ifhappening. Mentally, you're processing.
And I want to kind of help myclients and my listeners and people
who are in our worldunderstand what the but what if series
(12:06):
is about. So I'm going to askyou a couple of questions pertaining
to this and pertaining to youramazing knowledge that you can share
with us, especially as anauthor and a writer, and awards,
which I love. So. But what ifthe layers you've built to protect
you are now limiting you. Alot of CEOs, a lot of business owners,
a lot of solopreneurs are atthis moment where they're building
(12:27):
protection, but thisprotection limits them rather than
expands them. And I want toknow, since you often speak about
the layers we develop asprotection, how does those layers
show up for women who've spentyears doing to prove their worth?
And what does it take to startpeeling them back those layers of
(12:48):
proving their worth so thatthey can design a business from authenticity,
not defense? Share a littlebit about that because there's so
many people trying to provethemselves to boss. There are so
many people trying to provethemselves to their partner, husband,
you know, wife, whatever itis. There's someone trying to prove
themselves that I can do itright. What if they didn't have to
(13:11):
prove themselves? What if theycan do the things without limiting
themselves and protecting themselves?
Yeah. So in reality, whenyou're trying to prove yourself to
your boss, to your spouse, toyour friends, to the world, you're
actually trying to proveyourself to you. And, and honestly,
we are born worthy, we areborn capable. We each have different
(13:32):
gifts, we each have differentstrengths which help instruct what
direction and what pathbelongs to us, because otherwise
we wouldn't know. So this ishow we need to look at what we have,
that's stronger, what we havethat sort of needs more attention
and loving care within us. Idon't use the word weakness, but
I use the word that I, I lookat it that way because in reality,
we take our strengths and wehelp, you know, heal or sort of grow
(13:54):
the other parts of us thathave, have not yet flourished. Everything
is waiting to flourish. Butwhen you feel that you need to prove
yourself to a boss, you wantto take a step back and you want
to say, okay, what part of thesituation makes me feel less than
not my boss makes me feel Lessthan. I'm accepting, I'm receiving.
We were talking aboutreceiving before we started the show.
I'm receiving this messagethat I am less than. Do I agree with
(14:16):
it? Do I like it? Does it feelgood? And if it doesn't, then it's
not coming from me. And ifit's not coming from me, it's a layer
from before that I forgot thatI have, that I don't know, that I
put there because it wassomething that I understood or got
a message from the world at avery young age that maybe I'm not,
you know, as good as. Or maybeI'm less than. Or maybe I'm too much,
(14:38):
right? Too loud, too happy,too this, whatever it is. It's never
like right in the middle whereit's like, just be you. Like nobody
tells you at three years old,darling, honey, just be you. But
if they did, I'd be reallyfascinated to see what kind of generation
would grow up from that.Right? So there's always something
wrong. And when we're young,we don't have any filters. You know,
(14:59):
when you give a cookie to a 2year old or you don't give a cookie
to a tool, that's their entireworld in that moment, and it has
a huge impact. So imaginethose words or those experiences
and the way a two or threeyear old or a four year old filter
or understand or store theexperience might not even be the
way you would at 30, 40, 50,whatever it is, store that experience.
But yet that experience getsstored as part of a pattern of experiences
(15:23):
as you get older that yourlittle brain created and your older,
wiser brain still maintains.Because we haven't gone back to reprogram,
to sort of update the softwareand to sort of revisit and say, this
no longer serves me, it servedme then. Or this is what I knew then,
but I know so much more. So bynot knowing that we even have these,
(15:44):
then we can't actually doanything about them or go question
them and say, I don't needthis anymore. Right? It's like you
buy beautiful furniture inyour house, but 20 years later you
might want to shift somethingand that's totally fine. It doesn't
take away from the furnitureat the time you bought it, but you
also have a right to expandor, or, or shift, you know, your
tastes or just need somethingdifferent. Well, it's the same with
our internal landscape. It'sthe same with how we understand ourselves
(16:06):
and then how we show up to theworld based on how we understand
ourselves. And our place andhow in the world. But at 3, 4, 5,
6, 10, we can't assume that wewill. We understand the world in
the way we would want to or inthe way that we will when we are,
you know, 30, 40 plus, but yetwe don't go back to revisit whether
those beliefs are following usor limiting us or with us. Just because
we expand in our knowledge,our intellectual capacity, just because
(16:30):
we grow up and we're actually,you know, bigger human beings. It's
like having, you know, yourfavorite T shirt when you're five
and you're like 45, and itdoesn't fit well, there's no expectation
that it would fit. So whywould the layer fit? Why would that
belief system fit? Why wouldthe way in which I believed, who,
what I thought about myself atthat age, you know, why is that,
(16:51):
you know, following me? If myteacher said I was stupid or I would
amount to Nothing when I'm 10,but I am this iconic CEO, I don't
need to prove that to anybody,but I did it. So obviously I'm not
stupid, but I didn't have toreceive that from the teacher. But
at five years old, of courseI'm going to receive it, but I don't
need to bring it along. It'slike excess baggage. You know, airlines
(17:12):
charge you for excess baggage.If we charge yourself for excess
baggage, I think we would shedit. So. Right. It's just. It's the
awareness. It really startsoff with an open mindset, which I
call the adventure mindset,which is no expectations, no judgment.
Just go in with some courage,curiosity and excitement. And if
we should have everyday lifethat way, I think we would understand
(17:33):
it and process it andexperience it in the way that it's
meant to be experienced, whichis an empowering way.
Some of those three words,curiosity, excitement, and.
And courage. Because it alwaystakes a bit of courage. It takes
courage because, you know,excitement and nervousness or those
are almost like two sides ofthe same coin. They're the same frequency
and energy. And sometimesthey'll go to something that stops
(17:55):
us and something. I'll go tosomething that propels us forward.
So if we're aware of that, wecan choose when we want to stay away
from something because maybeit's physically dangerous, maybe
because we're just trying tofollow everybody else, but we're
not really aligned with doingit. And sometimes we have that kind
of like, you know,trepidation, but it's really something
cool and something that wewant to experience. And so we Turn
it into excitement, whether werealize it or not. And that allows
(18:17):
us to go into it a little bit more.
It's interesting we're havingthis conversation yesterday I was
chatting with someone on myDMs, and as we're chatting where
she came up with thisbeautiful analogy about like a scratch
off, you know, lottery,scratch off. And in speaking to her
and what you shared about thetransformation, the baggage, there's
(18:38):
people who don't know they'retraveling with extra baggage. They're
not aware of that. Right. Andwhen she used the analogy to scratch
off, it's like when I wastalking to her, I was scratching
that silver layer off and thenshe was seeing what was underneath
it. But she couldn't do itherself. Like there was something
where she would felt like shewas a number hidden and she couldn't
(18:59):
see it. But when someone camealong and scratched that gray layer,
she started to witness, oh mygosh, I have this baggage, you know,
and that's the thing that Ihonestly am going to say to you,
that you doing what you do isso needed because a lot of people
have that silver layer andthey can't see what's underneath
(19:19):
it. It's hidden. They don'teven know that it's there to scratch
it. And with your, yourtransformation, your gift is exactly
that, to speak to thosepeople, to help them go. But what
if to see the other side, tosee the other perspective, to get
that transformation that theyneed, you know? So what I'm going
(19:40):
to do is ask you anotherquestion. Sure, I want to know, but
what if you're makingdecisions from survival, not self
trust from survival. You talkabout the difference between a decision
and a choice. How can highachievers recognize when they're
operating from old patterns offear, control or scarcity? And what
(20:02):
does it look like to startchoosing from a place of grounded
awareness instead? Like,what's the difference? How can we
tell between a decision and achoice? Like, these are the things
I want our listeners to reallybe able to weigh and look at and
know when they're making areally good decision or like a choice.
Or is it coming from a placeof fear, a place of control, a place
(20:25):
of scarcity? Like, how canthey see the sign?
So I love that question,Nikisha. Thank you. I talk a lot
about the difference between,you know, decision and choice. And
people use those wordsinterchangeably, but in reality they
have a different meaning and adifferent energy attached. And therefore
our entire body reacts to eachvery differently. And this is what
I mean most People will makedecisions in their life and decisions
(20:47):
are things that we do to getthem off our plate to, to decide
on something. When we're in aquestion mark which was in an unknown,
the brain can only stay therefor so long. And after that it just
needs to move forward becauseit cannot handle that situation because
it's stressful for the brain,not for the person, but for the brain.
And so we're gonna decide togo eat now lunch because it's 12
(21:08):
o', clock, we have somethingat 12:30. You know, our days are
insane. Or we're gonna decideto have somebody else bring the kids
to school, or are we gonnadecide, okay, I'm gonna postpone
this meeting or I'm gonna haveit now, or I'm gonna going to try
to juggle three things atonce. Those are all decisions. Everything
that is layer based is alsofear based. So whether it's control,
whether it's a scarcitymindset, whatever it is, that's all
rooted in fear. At the thebottom line, all these things are
(21:31):
about fear. So a, it's okay tofear it doesn't mean it needs to
run your life. Like, we do nothave to fear fear because that's
our fear. Our biggest fear isfear itself. So if we can acknowledge
that and breathe into it, youknow, like, I fear fear, that's fine.
As soon as you say it, you'vealready shed some light on it and
then it's like, wait, what? Idon't want to fear fear, right? Then
(21:51):
you can start questioning,then you can start opening up that
door and saying, hold on asecond, I want to be in charge. Choosing
is from a place of alignment.Choosing is proactive. Deciding can
sometimes actually be reactiveto take some stress off, to take
some, you know, to do thatchecklist, you know, and to sort
of put some checks off thelist. But those are all really reactive.
When you approach somethingwith all of you, you're being proactive
(22:14):
and you're choosing how, whatyour next step is, when you're placed
or when something comes beforeyou. And that's a very different
process than a reaction. Areaction is you're not in control,
a proaction or choosing yournext step looks the same on the outside,
but the internal process is sodifferent that the entire experience
and storage of it afterwardsand empowerment is completely different.
(22:36):
So we decide multiple times aday. We don't always take the time
to choose and it takes about10 seconds. But its presence, it's
awareness where before youtake your next step, you check in
with yourself, it's like,okay, hold on, who's running my show
now? Oh, it's anger. I'm aboutto lose my temper, let's say, right?
Or, oh, my goodness, it'sfear. I'm about to walk away. Or,
oh, my gosh, it's sadness.What's wrong with me? Right? So then
(22:58):
there's a judgment. So if youask yourself those questions and
it really just takes a fewseconds, and I tell my clients, sometimes
if you're in front of people,just go to the washroom, take a bathroom
break. You can do that. Ittakes 10 seconds, right? And so then
you'll get the answer. Whenyou ask the question, you'll know
inside the emotion. If youplace your attention within, you'll
know what's going on. It'sjust that our attention, our attention
(23:19):
is so outward that we're not.We, we disconnect from ourselves.
In the moment of reactivity,in the moment of decision making,
in the moment of scarcitymindset, in the moment of any fear,
we just disconnect and we haveto bring ourselves back into our
body, right? So, oh, I'm aboutto lose my, my, my, my temper. Or
I'm, I'm, I'm about to walkaway from fear. Or, or I'm about
to freeze. All right, but forthis feeling, what would I choose?
(23:42):
What would I do? How would Ichoose to think? How would I choose
to feel if my brain came to meand said, hey, this is what's going
on? What do we do here? How.How are we feeling? How are we going
to feel? You know, Nikisha,what would you, you know, what are
your thoughts on this? Becauseour brain doesn't ask us. It just
decides for us and gives us aconclusion, and we're stuck with
it. So the idea is really totake, Regain the reins of ourselves.
(24:03):
You don't need to controlanything else. You just need to be
in control of you. You need tobe in your own driver's seat. And
we often, when we don't evenknow that. So the first thing I ask
my clients often is, okay,who's driving you today? Who's in
your driver's seat right now?And as soon as they're made aware
of that question, they knowthe answer. Oh, like I'm discouraged
today or I'm super frustrated.Like, they know, but 10 seconds ago,
(24:24):
before the question, theydidn't, and they would have continued
in their day in that way. Ihave a whole chapter on what I call
the inner boardroom in my, inmy, my book and it's really, really
juicy because it's aboutcreating your own inner boardroom
where then you're in charge ofyour meetings. And instead of getting
the conclusion from yourbrain, you can actually listen to
every component. But thenyou're going to choose what's aligned
(24:44):
for you. And that's a way tostart having those subconscious sort
of thoughts come to theconscious level and through your
awareness and to be more awarein your day to day and more present
so that these things happenless and less and you are actually
much more in your driver's seat.
So true. As you were sharing,there is something that was coming
up for me and when youmentioned about the choice and how
(25:08):
you should ask yourself thosequestions. Who's in the driver's
seat? What's happening whenyou're getting angry? Check in. Right.
So you can make that choice.And I've worked on my awareness to
the point where when I'mgetting defensive, I'm defending
my idea, or someone sayssomething and I can. And usually
for me, my feeling is usuallydefenseless. And when I feel it coming,
(25:30):
I could feel it. I know whenit's coming. My heart rate increases.
I'm ready for battle. I couldfeel the fight coming. Right. And
what I've started doing isgoing. I verbalize. The choice I'm
making is while I'mprocessing, I'm verbalizing. You
know how you mentioned somepeople need to step away? And that's
fine. People do need to stepaway because everyone's different.
Everyone's different.
Yes. When my husband and I arehaving conversation, I feel like
(25:52):
I'm about to defend myself.You know, I like law, too. I'm black
and white all day, every day.
Yes.
So I'm just like, hold. Ilike, put a hold. And I go. I could
feel it. I'm gettingdefensive. Give me a second. Because
I need to question why.Because what you did was. You hit
me in my soft spot.
Right.
There is something deep downthat you're talking to that I feel
(26:13):
really judgmental about withinme. And I just need a second to.
I need a. I just need a. Ineed a second to be like, it's okay,
Nikisha. You're not. You'renot under attack. You're not going
to. No one's coming after youbreathe and go. And I verbally say
it. I go, give me a second.I'm defense. I'm getting defensive.
So you're touching somethingreally soft to me. And that thing
(26:34):
is, I have a feeling of lessthan in regards to this topic. And
I want to be able to receiveyou. So I have to just get it contained.
I just have to help my bodygo, it's okay, and get my system
back to normal. So when youspeak to me, I can be open to what
you're saying. And then I canget curious and ask you, what made
(26:54):
you think that? Like, I canget curious, Rather defective, offensive.
And it's a skill I had tolearn because I wasn't born with
that skill. I wasn't giventhat skill. Like you said, it's a
skill I had to learn. But whatI love about it, it allows me to
connect. It allows me todecide what I would like to do after
(27:15):
I make the choice of what'shappening. Decision for me is a place
of power. Anytime we decide onsomething, there's power because
there's movement, there'saction. But before the action, there
is a choice of what makes youwant to do the decision, what makes
you want to do that. Andthat's what I was getting when you
were speaking. Sometimes Ifeel like they're hand in hand, but
(27:36):
the choice is the processingpart. And I don't think a lot of
people process. I think theyjust go into deciding without realizing
what's happening internally.
Yeah, because we disconnect,right? We disconnect. So what you're
talking about is reallybringing your attention back to you
and what's going on your bodybefore you react to your husband
or before you interact withhim. Next step, and what I do with
(27:59):
my clients is we start thereand then we start going backwards
and saying, okay, what is thisreally saying? Because it's an expression
of a layer, a trigger issimply an expression of a protective
mechanism from a young agethat's saying, hey, I want attention
and do you still need me here?Because I'm actually restricting
you. And this is how. And asyou get older, as you become more
(28:19):
of an adult and a parent orwhatever it is, or. And a CEO, business
owner, professional, it'llrestrict you more and more because
you actually need it less andless. You just don't know that you
still believe you need it. Andthat is all below surface level.
It's. It's subconscious. Sothe idea is, okay, let's go check
in and lean in on this and saywhat happened there? And I never
say why, because why isjudgment? What is openness and curiosity?
(28:41):
So what is it that's going onhere? What is this trying to tell
me? And then where is itcoming from? What is it about? And
then we work through the layerBackwards so that it gets dissolved,
and then that trigger nolonger is right. That pain point
becomes healed, thatvulnerability becomes stronger, and
then there's almost like theperson is made up differently. Right.
(29:03):
Because now they don't havethat to heal each time, and it no
longer comes up. And it's aprocess that we do. And it's wonderful
to see people sort of flourishand blossom and say, wow, like, I
know I would have beentriggered right there. I would have
been triggered. And like, oh,my goodness, something else came
up. And then I was creative,right? Because we can have, like,
you know, consciouscommunication and creative communication.
(29:24):
And then we can create withanother, even if we disagree because
we're not triggered anymore.So then we step into a whole other
realm of power that we don'talways get a chance to tap into because
we're more in reactive mode.
So true. And that realm ofpower is amazing.
Oh, yes. Very juicy.
It is. You know how people saythat statement is always greener
on the other side? And peopledon't think it's true? I go, this
(29:46):
is exactly greener on theother side. Like, that is greener.
Like, it's freaking glorious.
It's glorious. But you knowwhat? It's greener within.
It is there.
It's inside. So we all haveit. All of your listeners have it.
And if they don't know how totap into it, that's okay. Just being
aware that it exists and thengoing to explore and being willing
(30:09):
to discover it, that's thefirst step.
Yes, the awareness is thefirst step. Listen, it's one of the
gifts that I was given. Andit's so nice that we're speaking
because people don't knowwe're meeting for the first time.
And now they do know because Isaid it.
Yes.
But we come from the same. Thesame spiritual seed family in regards
to our purpose and ourmission. Because we can hear things
(30:29):
and we can see things, and weget to ask the questions. We're the
mirror that reflects. And inthat reflection, people get to become
aware, and then they get tomake a choice, and then they get
to put power behind it bydeciding. Exactly. And they get to
transform, ultimately. And tohave that gift is heavenly. It's
beautiful. And every one of ushave our own gifts. And I know that
(30:54):
for a fact, because the peopleI work with don't have that, but
they have something else thatserves this amazing being, you know?
And I'm so grateful for you tocome and share that with us. You
know, now I will be sharingyour book in the show notes. And
I want you, before you go togive us at least three actionable
steps that our listeners cantake to help them build their awareness
(31:16):
to start the process.
Yeah, I'm going to give youmore than that because I actually
have a giveaway for youraudience that's specifically around
us. There's around that. Soit's funny that you're actually mentioning
that that I really wanted togift everybody, including yourself
here today. If they look at mywebsite, which is super easy, it's
Basically my namemartincohen.com forward/connect with
(31:39):
me. There is a two day sort ofmindset reset, but also starting
to become aware of yourthoughts, how to quieten your mind,
how to get out of your head,how to have your brain sort of like
give you space so that you cansort of feel your essence reconnect
from within and then buildthat awareness. There's also like
a one page little exercisething. There are two videos, there's
(32:01):
also writing and you canlisten to it over and over again
and you'll see the evolutionon your path. The first thing is
to have an open mindset. It'sthe three pillars of my book which
are adventure, awareness,alignment. So haven't wake up in
the morning and say, what's myintention for the day? Because often
we're so on automatic pilot wedon't check in. What's my intention
for today? Not I want my, my,I need to do, I want to get everything
(32:22):
done. No, what's my intentionfor me. How would you like your day
to go? Because that is your 10minute brain programming where it's
above conscious level and therest is going to happen below conscious
level. When you program yourbrain to see your day in a certain
way, to experience it in acertain way, it will show it to you
in that way. It's fascinatinghow it works. You know, some of the
best days that people have arenot the days that go the smoothest.
(32:45):
It's the days where theyshowed up to a challenge in a way
they never thought they couldand they actually conquered the challenge.
Those are people's best days.You'll hear they're like I had a
flat tire and my, I was lateat my meeting. But you know what?
I don't know. It felt fine. Idid it. I felt good. I was empowered.
I found a creative solution.That's empowerment. So not to be
afraid to lean in fully inevery challenge is an opportunity.
(33:06):
In every problem or every, youknow, question, the answer lies within.
It's there for Us to discover,not to shy away from, not to be afraid
of and. And not to sort ofwalk away from or run away from.
We don't need to hide. Be allof who you are. And if somebody else
doesn't like it, I heardsomebody say, just put on sunglasses,
right? Like, be youunapologetically, but be authentic,
(33:29):
genuine. You don't have toprove anything. Nobody else has to
prove anything to you. And youdon't have to prove yourself. And
if you have those kind ofthings driving you, you want to go
within and see. Hold on asecond, let me check in. Does that
actually feel good to me? Isthat what I would want to do? So
questioning yourself, checkingin a few times during the day. It
doesn't take long because wereally do go on automatic pilot.
(33:51):
And then we don't know. It'slike driving, like, oh, I don't know
how I got here. I didn't havean accident. I didn't burn any red
lights. But I still don't knowhow I got here because I wasn't present
to the body. Bring your energyback to your body. We fragmented
with the interactions that wehave. Even when we have an unpleasant
interaction, consciously bringyour energy back to you because otherwise
you've left it out there. Andthen by the end of the day, you are
(34:11):
depleted and exhausted.
And then the other two, youhad also awareness. Was that part
of that?
So that's awareness. So onceyou start, you know you have an open
mindset. You approach life notwith fear, but with curiosity. And
a great brain hack is if youare curious, your brain forgets to
be fearful. You can't becurious and afraid at the same time.
It just doesn't work. Try it,you'll see it doesn't work. Just
like there's no fear whenyou're in the present moment. Fear
(34:33):
is based on past experiencesand it's based on future anticipation.
But in the present moment, itdoes not exist.
It doesn't. I know.
And it doesn't. It just livesthere. It's not the frequency, which
is wonderful, because ifyou're afraid, say to yourself, hold
on a second. Where did I go?To the past or to the future? Let
me come back here. It helpsyou regroup, it helps you refocus,
(34:53):
it helps you ground yourselfand recenter, and then it will give
you a creative solution. Sothat's the beauty of it. Like, we
disempower ourselves a milliontimes a day without realizing it.
So always make sure it's okayto do it. We're not Perfect. We're
not meant to be perfect. Thisis an exploration. This is a discovery
journey and a learningprocess. But take it back. Take your
power back. Every time you'reaware, become aware that you've given
(35:15):
it away. And then the lastthing is alignment. Because having
that kind of adventure,mindset, open mindset that leads
to awareness, then allows youto make choices from a place of alignment.
Imagine you pause for a secondbefore you choose something, but
you make sure that you'realigned with it. You're not doing
to please some. You're notdoing because you're stressed. You're
not doing because you need toget something off your plate. You're
not doing to avoid somethingor to chase something. You're doing
(35:36):
it because that was what youtruly feel is right for you. And
when you do that, you're okaywith whatever happens afterwards,
because you can manage that,because you just showed yourself
that you can trust you, andthat's so powerful. And that allows
you to live a life ofauthenticity. So it's like the three
A's that lead to the fourth.
Yes. Thank you so much, Martina.
My pleasure. It's great to be here.
(35:57):
It's a pleasure to have youhere. And when people question, what
is an iconic CEO, this is it.This is the transformations they
go through. Choice, awareness,presence. Therefore, as they increase
their capacity in doing whatthey're meant to do, they don't get
scared, but they get curious,and they have an exciting time doing
(36:18):
what they love and everythingabout that is what I get to live
today. And I shared this theother day with some people with my
community, and they asked me,were you always like this? And I
go, hell, no.
But that's the best part,right? So audience, guys, like, you
know, gals, actually, right?We are not born this way.
No.
Maybe we are born this way,and then society conditions us to
(36:40):
be something else. But returnto you. Return to yourself. Be all
of who you are. And look atus. Oh, I was so not like this, right?
Like spiritual attorney,expansive. Like, you know, but we
all have it in us, and we init. And honestly, it's our birthright.
It's your birthright to goexplore it, to find your path, and
(37:00):
then to walk your pathproudly, boldly, and own it fully,
because that's the power.
So true. Martine, what ablessing to have you. Thank you so
much for joining us on IconicCEO podcast.
Thank you so much for having me.
Honored to have you here,sharing, giving us that amazing gift.
I can't wait to see it and doit myself and I will be definitely
(37:21):
in the Show Notes. Can youshare a little bit of how people
can find and interact withyou? Where can they find you?
Absolutely. So through mywebsite, martincohn.com but also
they can email me if they havequestions or if they want to work
together, they want toexplore. It's infoartincohen.com
and I just want to say that tome, the connection with my community,
(37:44):
the community is the mostimportant thing. So if they email
me, they will get a personalresponse back from me. Not a team
member, not a bot, becausethat's very important to me and it
gets time consuming, but it'ssomething that I cherish and I value
very much and that's reallyimportant. So they will hear from
me. They can also take a lookat the book. It's on Amazon. It's
called no More Layers.Discover your inner power and reclaim
(38:06):
true freedom from the inside out.
So amazing. Thank you, Martine.
My pleasure. Thank you forhaving me.
Thank you for joining ustoday. We loved having you with us.
Remember, each action youtake, no matter how small, adds up
to big results. If today'sepisode fired you up, hit subscribe
for more insights and visitour resource hub, which is linked
(38:29):
in the Show Notes. Thereyou'll find tools to streamline,
organize and grow yourbusiness. Keep moving forward and
we'll be right here to cheeryou on next week.
Welcome with your host andbusiness guru, Nakisha King. This
podcast is the ultimatedestination for women creative entrepreneurs
who want to break free fromburnout. If you are overwhelmed by
client demands and feel likeyou're doing this all alone, you,
my friend, are in the rightplace. Now let's dive in for steps
(00:26):
to take back your time andself, simplify your workflow.
All right, Nikisha, take itaway. Hello and welcome to Iconic
CEO Podcast, where freespirits find or fall in love with
systems. I'm your host,Nikisha, and also your sales and
(00:48):
systems coach. And on today'sepisode, we have an amazing guest.
We have Martine Cohen. She ishere to share a little bit more with
us about transforming asiconic CEOs. And I will love to introduce
who this person is that you'regoing to engage with today. So, Martine
Cohen is an author, speaker,and a transformative coach. She has
(01:10):
dedicated her life, herenjoyment to empowering individuals
like you to lead themselvesfrom authenticity. She separates
their identity from theiremotions and their thoughts. Thoughts
and make choices from a deepinner awareness and alignment. You
guys know this is why you'rehere and this is why she makes an
(01:30):
amazing guess. Martine's workis rooted in belief that true success
comes from within. And she ispassionate about guiding others to
find that ease, that joy andfulfillment by removing the layers
that obscure their innerlight. As both a lawyer and a corporate
leadership consultant, I,Martine is known for her ability
(01:52):
to help high achievingprofessionals navigate their personal
and professional transitions.Martine, welcome to the Iconic CEO
podcast. Thank you for beinghere today.
Nikisha. I'm so happy to behere today and thank you for having
me.
Yes. Now, you stated that youpractice law and you now help women
(02:14):
find their light. Can you tellme what happened and help me understand?
By the way, my audience. Yes.I'm getting to know Martine, just
like you. I love this. I getreally curious when I read their
value and I'm like, hold on,what happened? Tell me more.
Oh, yeah, because. Because youknow when you read that, that something
definitely had to happen. Itjust doesn't, you know, organically
(02:36):
work that way. So in my case,it's quite a story. You know, when
the universe has plans for youand you're kind of like that little
inner voice and you're notlistening and it gets louder and
louder and louder. For me, itliterally hit me over the head. This
is what I mean. So, yeah, Istarted off as a corporate attorney,
kind of like a little bit typea, sort of like perfectionist, love
(02:56):
law. Absolutely adore law, butnot so much the perfectionism aspect
and the other stuff that comesalong with it or that I embodied
at the time. And then in 2016,I was in a very serious car accident.
There's a car that rammed intome. I didn't even see it coming.
And I lost consciousness. Andwhen I came to, I was later diagnosed
with post concussive syndrome,which means that I had a serious
(03:16):
concussion that wasn't goingaway on its own in a couple of weeks.
And I couldn't have aconversation. I didn't understand
words when they were puttogether. I could kind of speak,
but I couldn't filter theworld. And I didn't know who I was
anymore. It was a very darkand scary period, like the scariest
time of my life. And I didn'tknow what to do. I didn't know if
I would be okay again. Ididn't know if I'd be able to work.
(03:38):
I couldn't feel who I wasanymore. It's like I lost myself.
And then I was thrust in thiskind of, like, abyss or darkness
and really, really frighteningtime. The interesting part was that
I had no thoughts other thanfeeling fear, other emotions around
it. I had no story, I had nojudgment. I had no criticism because
I had a dysfunctional brain.So all of these things and all these
(04:02):
limitations and all thesebeliefs actually come from our brain.
So when our brain is out tolunch or checked out like mine was,
I call it the blessing ofdysfunctional brain. Because in a
way, it really was a blessing.I had no sort of, like, experience
about it except really beingin the moment of experiencing all
of this. And at one point,something either instinctive or intuitive,
(04:22):
I don't really know to thisday, made me go within. And when
I went within, I saw all thesefears and darkness. I. I explored
what I like to call my innerlandscape. And I started seeing all
the weeds and all the. I callthem, layers that we have from childhood
that prevent us from being whowe are and hold us back and all these
mental constructs and allthese, you know, hats that we wear
(04:42):
that we believe become who weare or we think this is who we are.
So I thought I was my brainand I'm not my brain. And at one
point, as I'm going throughthis and really exploring and feeling
the intensity of those fearsand working through them and watching
them dissolve before me,because if we lean into fears and
we shine enough light,eventually they just have no choice
(05:04):
but to dissipate, which wasreally interesting to experience.
And then at one point I'mlike, but how do I know I'm doing
this? Like, at one point I wasaware of my awareness. Fascinating.
And it like, hold on, mybrain's not working. I can't have
this conversation with anotherhuman being. But I have all this
awareness. And that was mytrue, powerful aha moment where I
was like, oh, my goodness, I'mnot my brain. We are not our brain.
(05:27):
We are so much more. And thatwas kind of became this sort of,
like, guiding light or thiskind of understanding or knowing
rather, that sort ofinstructed the rest of this journey
where I worked through mylayers and. And as I worked through
them, I just became more ofwho I was. I was still concussed,
and yet I felt like myselfagain. And that was so powerful to
(05:49):
know that, you know, you'renot your organ, you're not your looks,
you're not your status, you'renot your job, you're not your roles
in life. You're the essence ofwho you are. And just we, though,
constrict that with all theroles and identities that we place
on ourselves and expectations,rather than expanding into it and
then do whatever we're goingto do and interact from that place.
So for me, it was thisexpansive, transformative journey
(06:12):
that I am so grateful for. Ittook every ounce of courage to keep
walking it, but I did it. AndI'm very grateful for my concussed
self at the time because itbrought me to this point. Then I
ended up healing my brain. Andonce I did, I realized, oh, my goodness,
this was not just for me. Thisreally wasn't for me. This was for
me to then bring this to theworld. And I started a little group
in my living room of women notknowing what. What I was doing, but
(06:35):
I just did it. And I. Istarted, you know, teaching these
things and havingconversations and discuss whatnot.
And at one point, one of thesewomen came up to me afterwards and
said, I think you can help mymom. Would you give her a recession?
I'm a corporate attorney. Idon't do sessions. I don't know what
that means. And somethinginside of me said to say yes. So
I said yes. And afterwards Ireflected. I was like, oh, my goodness,
(06:55):
what did I just say yes to?How do I know what to do? And I just
said, I need to trust myself.I need to empty myself out, really
ground myself. And just thisis something that's being offered
to me that I need to stepinto. And this woman came to see
me, and I was able to helpher. And I was shocked that I was
able to help her. And that'swhen I started realizing, okay, there's
a gift here. There's somethingthat I was given because I chose
(07:18):
to walk this path and say yeswhen I was concussed and go through
my own layers. And I startedto trust it slowly getting out of
my head, it's always been inmy head. And starting to trust the
other parts of me and startingto trust that connection with the
universe and starting to trustthat I could read soul energy and
I could read other people and,and I could truly guide them and
help them remove and dissolvewhatever blocks and layers that you
(07:39):
know, resided within them thatthey were not maybe even aware of
that were still there. And sopeople would start coming to me and
start asking me things. And myclients, they became clients afterwards
were started telling me, youknow, you should write this in a
book and you should this, you,you gotta disseminate this further.
And I was like, nah, I don'tknow. Then at one point I sat down
with myself and like, okay,listen, why not? And to be perfectly
(08:03):
honest with you, I didn't havea good reason why not. And so I embarked
on writing a book. And it wasa two year long journey because I
wanted to meet the readerexactly where they were at and offer
them an experience based on myown. So I had to be vulnerable. And
I'm really a private person bynature, but I was like, if I'm going
to ask a reader to show up andto receive, I need to be able to
open up and be vulnerable andshow them that it's okay. And you
(08:26):
can. So I did that. I wrotethe book. It has client stories,
it has exercises to integrate,it has questioning, it has deep dives,
but it's really anexperiential, transformational journey.
It was written as such becausethat was my intention before I wrote
the book. And it won awards.It just won best self leadership
book at the InternationalBusiness Awards. It won gold and
(08:47):
silver. It won at the IndieExcellence Award. It won, it won
actually first place for SelfHelp Spiritual. So to me that shows
me that A, there's a need, B,it's being recognized and it makes
me deeply grateful and joyfulbecause it's getting into the hands
of the people that it canhelp. And that was really my intent.
(09:09):
So today I'm a speaker, I'm anauthor, I'm a personal coach. I give
workshops on self leadershipand ownership of self and stepping
into your power and freeingyourself from the inside out. And
I've recently pivoted fulltime to this because while law is
a passion of mine, this istruly my calling. You know, it's
okay to do that. It's reallyokay to follow what, you know, you
(09:31):
need to do to contribute tothe world.
Yeah, the interesting part wasa transformative journey. The transformative
journey was not havingconsciousness of fear and all the
things that limit us and thenbecoming aware of it while still
concuss. And then in thatallowing, saying yes, and I think
(09:52):
as iconic CEOs, that is atransformation. The transformation
is letting go of the identityyou were given when you were younger,
the conditions, the beliefs,and refreshing them, updating them,
shifting them, and thendeciding this new step, this new
journey, your mission, yourpurpose was put in place just for
(10:13):
you. And you have everythingyou need for that journey. And when
you share your story, it tooka moment in life where you had to
go down into a valley to riseagain. It's like a phoenix, the phoenix
rising. And we all experiencethat in different ways. Some are
very life threatening, someare a aha moment because that was
(10:37):
what it was for me. And itdoesn't have to be in the valley.
It could be different ways inthe valley. It doesn't always have
to be this physical, lifethreatening experience. But we all
experience it differentlybecause sometimes when we're fully
in our brain, we can't getout. I don't know about you, but
when we're fully in our brain,we're like.
Not only can't you get out,but your brain doesn't want you to
(10:58):
get out because it's whenyou're in there, because it can keep
you safe. So all theseidentities, by the way, and all these
rules that we play and allthese sort of limitations when we
think we're actuallyexpanding, we're restricting, is
because the brain prefers toplay itself safe. And by safe it
means let's just go to theknown, let's just go to familiar.
It doesn't have to be good orbad. The brain has. That part of
the brain has no discernmentlike going through this process.
(11:21):
I learned so many brain hacksand that's what I share in the book
and that's what I teach myclients. Because in reality, if you
really understand your brain,your brain will become your best
assistant, but you will neverlet it be in your driver's seat again.
Okay, now in this series thatyou're a part of, we call it the
but what if series. Andthere's a lot of great things you
just Shared with us becausethere's one instance but what if?
(11:45):
And you created transformationbecause you were looking at the opposite.
When someone said write abook, you was like, I can't find
the no.
Right.
You, there's a what ifhappening. Mentally, you're processing.
And I want to kind of help myclients and my listeners and people
who are in our worldunderstand what the but what if series
(12:06):
is about. So I'm going to askyou a couple of questions pertaining
to this and pertaining to youramazing knowledge that you can share
with us, especially as anauthor and a writer, and awards,
which I love. So. But what ifthe layers you've built to protect
you are now limiting you. Alot of CEOs, a lot of business owners,
a lot of solopreneurs are atthis moment where they're building
(12:27):
protection, but thisprotection limits them rather than
expands them. And I want toknow, since you often speak about
the layers we develop asprotection, how does those layers
show up for women who've spentyears doing to prove their worth?
And what does it take to startpeeling them back those layers of
(12:48):
proving their worth so thatthey can design a business from authenticity,
not defense? Share a littlebit about that because there's so
many people trying to provethemselves to boss. There are so
many people trying to provethemselves to their partner, husband,
you know, wife, whatever itis. There's someone trying to prove
themselves that I can do itright. What if they didn't have to
(13:11):
prove themselves? What if theycan do the things without limiting
themselves and protecting themselves?
Yeah. So in reality, whenyou're trying to prove yourself to
your boss, to your spouse, toyour friends, to the world, you're
actually trying to proveyourself to you. And, and honestly,
we are born worthy, we areborn capable. We each have different
(13:32):
gifts, we each have differentstrengths which help instruct what
direction and what pathbelongs to us, because otherwise
we wouldn't know. So this ishow we need to look at what we have,
that's stronger, what we havethat sort of needs more attention
and loving care within us. Idon't use the word weakness, but
I use the word that I, I lookat it that way because in reality,
we take our strengths and wehelp, you know, heal or sort of grow
(13:54):
the other parts of us thathave, have not yet flourished. Everything
is waiting to flourish. Butwhen you feel that you need to prove
yourself to a boss, you wantto take a step back and you want
to say, okay, what part of thesituation makes me feel less than
not my boss makes me feel Lessthan. I'm accepting, I'm receiving.
We were talking aboutreceiving before we started the show.
I'm receiving this messagethat I am less than. Do I agree with
(14:16):
it? Do I like it? Does it feelgood? And if it doesn't, then it's
not coming from me. And ifit's not coming from me, it's a layer
from before that I forgot thatI have, that I don't know, that I
put there because it wassomething that I understood or got
a message from the world at avery young age that maybe I'm not,
you know, as good as. Or maybeI'm less than. Or maybe I'm too much,
(14:38):
right? Too loud, too happy,too this, whatever it is. It's never
like right in the middle whereit's like, just be you. Like nobody
tells you at three years old,darling, honey, just be you. But
if they did, I'd be reallyfascinated to see what kind of generation
would grow up from that.Right? So there's always something
wrong. And when we're young,we don't have any filters. You know,
(14:59):
when you give a cookie to a 2year old or you don't give a cookie
to a tool, that's their entireworld in that moment, and it has
a huge impact. So imaginethose words or those experiences
and the way a two or threeyear old or a four year old filter
or understand or store theexperience might not even be the
way you would at 30, 40, 50,whatever it is, store that experience.
But yet that experience getsstored as part of a pattern of experiences
(15:23):
as you get older that yourlittle brain created and your older,
wiser brain still maintains.Because we haven't gone back to reprogram,
to sort of update the softwareand to sort of revisit and say, this
no longer serves me, it servedme then. Or this is what I knew then,
but I know so much more. So bynot knowing that we even have these,
(15:44):
then we can't actually doanything about them or go question
them and say, I don't needthis anymore. Right? It's like you
buy beautiful furniture inyour house, but 20 years later you
might want to shift somethingand that's totally fine. It doesn't
take away from the furnitureat the time you bought it, but you
also have a right to expandor, or, or shift, you know, your
tastes or just need somethingdifferent. Well, it's the same with
our internal landscape. It'sthe same with how we understand ourselves
(16:06):
and then how we show up to theworld based on how we understand
ourselves. And our place andhow in the world. But at 3, 4, 5,
6, 10, we can't assume that wewill. We understand the world in
the way we would want to or inthe way that we will when we are,
you know, 30, 40 plus, but yetwe don't go back to revisit whether
those beliefs are following usor limiting us or with us. Just because
we expand in our knowledge,our intellectual capacity, just because
(16:30):
we grow up and we're actually,you know, bigger human beings. It's
like having, you know, yourfavorite T shirt when you're five
and you're like 45, and itdoesn't fit well, there's no expectation
that it would fit. So whywould the layer fit? Why would that
belief system fit? Why wouldthe way in which I believed, who,
what I thought about myself atthat age, you know, why is that,
(16:51):
you know, following me? If myteacher said I was stupid or I would
amount to Nothing when I'm 10,but I am this iconic CEO, I don't
need to prove that to anybody,but I did it. So obviously I'm not
stupid, but I didn't have toreceive that from the teacher. But
at five years old, of courseI'm going to receive it, but I don't
need to bring it along. It'slike excess baggage. You know, airlines
(17:12):
charge you for excess baggage.If we charge yourself for excess
baggage, I think we would shedit. So. Right. It's just. It's the
awareness. It really startsoff with an open mindset, which I
call the adventure mindset,which is no expectations, no judgment.
Just go in with some courage,curiosity and excitement. And if
we should have everyday lifethat way, I think we would understand
(17:33):
it and process it andexperience it in the way that it's
meant to be experienced, whichis an empowering way.
Some of those three words,curiosity, excitement, and.
And courage. Because it alwaystakes a bit of courage. It takes
courage because, you know,excitement and nervousness or those
are almost like two sides ofthe same coin. They're the same frequency
and energy. And sometimesthey'll go to something that stops
(17:55):
us and something. I'll go tosomething that propels us forward.
So if we're aware of that, wecan choose when we want to stay away
from something because maybeit's physically dangerous, maybe
because we're just trying tofollow everybody else, but we're
not really aligned with doingit. And sometimes we have that kind
of like, you know,trepidation, but it's really something
cool and something that wewant to experience. And so we Turn
it into excitement, whether werealize it or not. And that allows
(18:17):
us to go into it a little bit more.
It's interesting we're havingthis conversation yesterday I was
chatting with someone on myDMs, and as we're chatting where
she came up with thisbeautiful analogy about like a scratch
off, you know, lottery,scratch off. And in speaking to her
and what you shared about thetransformation, the baggage, there's
(18:38):
people who don't know they'retraveling with extra baggage. They're
not aware of that. Right. Andwhen she used the analogy to scratch
off, it's like when I wastalking to her, I was scratching
that silver layer off and thenshe was seeing what was underneath
it. But she couldn't do itherself. Like there was something
where she would felt like shewas a number hidden and she couldn't
(18:59):
see it. But when someone camealong and scratched that gray layer,
she started to witness, oh mygosh, I have this baggage, you know,
and that's the thing that Ihonestly am going to say to you,
that you doing what you do isso needed because a lot of people
have that silver layer andthey can't see what's underneath
(19:19):
it. It's hidden. They don'teven know that it's there to scratch
it. And with your, yourtransformation, your gift is exactly
that, to speak to thosepeople, to help them go. But what
if to see the other side, tosee the other perspective, to get
that transformation that theyneed, you know? So what I'm going
(19:40):
to do is ask you anotherquestion. Sure, I want to know, but
what if you're makingdecisions from survival, not self
trust from survival. You talkabout the difference between a decision
and a choice. How can highachievers recognize when they're
operating from old patterns offear, control or scarcity? And what
(20:02):
does it look like to startchoosing from a place of grounded
awareness instead? Like,what's the difference? How can we
tell between a decision and achoice? Like, these are the things
I want our listeners to reallybe able to weigh and look at and
know when they're making areally good decision or like a choice.
Or is it coming from a placeof fear, a place of control, a place
(20:25):
of scarcity? Like, how canthey see the sign?
So I love that question,Nikisha. Thank you. I talk a lot
about the difference between,you know, decision and choice. And
people use those wordsinterchangeably, but in reality they
have a different meaning and adifferent energy attached. And therefore
our entire body reacts to eachvery differently. And this is what
I mean most People will makedecisions in their life and decisions
(20:47):
are things that we do to getthem off our plate to, to decide
on something. When we're in aquestion mark which was in an unknown,
the brain can only stay therefor so long. And after that it just
needs to move forward becauseit cannot handle that situation because
it's stressful for the brain,not for the person, but for the brain.
And so we're gonna decide togo eat now lunch because it's 12
(21:08):
o', clock, we have somethingat 12:30. You know, our days are
insane. Or we're gonna decideto have somebody else bring the kids
to school, or are we gonnadecide, okay, I'm gonna postpone
this meeting or I'm gonna haveit now, or I'm gonna going to try
to juggle three things atonce. Those are all decisions. Everything
that is layer based is alsofear based. So whether it's control,
whether it's a scarcitymindset, whatever it is, that's all
rooted in fear. At the thebottom line, all these things are
(21:31):
about fear. So a, it's okay tofear it doesn't mean it needs to
run your life. Like, we do nothave to fear fear because that's
our fear. Our biggest fear isfear itself. So if we can acknowledge
that and breathe into it, youknow, like, I fear fear, that's fine.
As soon as you say it, you'vealready shed some light on it and
then it's like, wait, what? Idon't want to fear fear, right? Then
(21:51):
you can start questioning,then you can start opening up that
door and saying, hold on asecond, I want to be in charge. Choosing
is from a place of alignment.Choosing is proactive. Deciding can
sometimes actually be reactiveto take some stress off, to take
some, you know, to do thatchecklist, you know, and to sort
of put some checks off thelist. But those are all really reactive.
When you approach somethingwith all of you, you're being proactive
(22:14):
and you're choosing how, whatyour next step is, when you're placed
or when something comes beforeyou. And that's a very different
process than a reaction. Areaction is you're not in control,
a proaction or choosing yournext step looks the same on the outside,
but the internal process is sodifferent that the entire experience
and storage of it afterwardsand empowerment is completely different.
(22:36):
So we decide multiple times aday. We don't always take the time
to choose and it takes about10 seconds. But its presence, it's
awareness where before youtake your next step, you check in
with yourself, it's like,okay, hold on, who's running my show
now? Oh, it's anger. I'm aboutto lose my temper, let's say, right?
Or, oh, my goodness, it'sfear. I'm about to walk away. Or,
oh, my gosh, it's sadness.What's wrong with me? Right? So then
(22:58):
there's a judgment. So if youask yourself those questions and
it really just takes a fewseconds, and I tell my clients, sometimes
if you're in front of people,just go to the washroom, take a bathroom
break. You can do that. Ittakes 10 seconds, right? And so then
you'll get the answer. Whenyou ask the question, you'll know
inside the emotion. If youplace your attention within, you'll
know what's going on. It'sjust that our attention, our attention
(23:19):
is so outward that we're not.We, we disconnect from ourselves.
In the moment of reactivity,in the moment of decision making,
in the moment of scarcitymindset, in the moment of any fear,
we just disconnect and we haveto bring ourselves back into our
body, right? So, oh, I'm aboutto lose my, my, my, my temper. Or
I'm, I'm, I'm about to walkaway from fear. Or, or I'm about
to freeze. All right, but forthis feeling, what would I choose?
(23:42):
What would I do? How would Ichoose to think? How would I choose
to feel if my brain came to meand said, hey, this is what's going
on? What do we do here? How.How are we feeling? How are we going
to feel? You know, Nikisha,what would you, you know, what are
your thoughts on this? Becauseour brain doesn't ask us. It just
decides for us and gives us aconclusion, and we're stuck with
it. So the idea is really totake, Regain the reins of ourselves.
(24:03):
You don't need to controlanything else. You just need to be
in control of you. You need tobe in your own driver's seat. And
we often, when we don't evenknow that. So the first thing I ask
my clients often is, okay,who's driving you today? Who's in
your driver's seat right now?And as soon as they're made aware
of that question, they knowthe answer. Oh, like I'm discouraged
today or I'm super frustrated.Like, they know, but 10 seconds ago,
(24:24):
before the question, theydidn't, and they would have continued
in their day in that way. Ihave a whole chapter on what I call
the inner boardroom in my, inmy, my book and it's really, really
juicy because it's aboutcreating your own inner boardroom
where then you're in charge ofyour meetings. And instead of getting
the conclusion from yourbrain, you can actually listen to
every component. But thenyou're going to choose what's aligned
(24:44):
for you. And that's a way tostart having those subconscious sort
of thoughts come to theconscious level and through your
awareness and to be more awarein your day to day and more present
so that these things happenless and less and you are actually
much more in your driver's seat.
So true. As you were sharing,there is something that was coming
up for me and when youmentioned about the choice and how
(25:08):
you should ask yourself thosequestions. Who's in the driver's
seat? What's happening whenyou're getting angry? Check in. Right.
So you can make that choice.And I've worked on my awareness to
the point where when I'mgetting defensive, I'm defending
my idea, or someone sayssomething and I can. And usually
for me, my feeling is usuallydefenseless. And when I feel it coming,
(25:30):
I could feel it. I know whenit's coming. My heart rate increases.
I'm ready for battle. I couldfeel the fight coming. Right. And
what I've started doing isgoing. I verbalize. The choice I'm
making is while I'mprocessing, I'm verbalizing. You
know how you mentioned somepeople need to step away? And that's
fine. People do need to stepaway because everyone's different.
Everyone's different.
Yes. When my husband and I arehaving conversation, I feel like
(25:52):
I'm about to defend myself.You know, I like law, too. I'm black
and white all day, every day.
Yes.
So I'm just like, hold. Ilike, put a hold. And I go. I could
feel it. I'm gettingdefensive. Give me a second. Because
I need to question why.Because what you did was. You hit
me in my soft spot.
Right.
There is something deep downthat you're talking to that I feel
(26:13):
really judgmental about withinme. And I just need a second to.
I need a. I just need a. Ineed a second to be like, it's okay,
Nikisha. You're not. You'renot under attack. You're not going
to. No one's coming after youbreathe and go. And I verbally say
it. I go, give me a second.I'm defense. I'm getting defensive.
So you're touching somethingreally soft to me. And that thing
(26:34):
is, I have a feeling of lessthan in regards to this topic. And
I want to be able to receiveyou. So I have to just get it contained.
I just have to help my bodygo, it's okay, and get my system
back to normal. So when youspeak to me, I can be open to what
you're saying. And then I canget curious and ask you, what made
(26:54):
you think that? Like, I canget curious, Rather defective, offensive.
And it's a skill I had tolearn because I wasn't born with
that skill. I wasn't giventhat skill. Like you said, it's a
skill I had to learn. But whatI love about it, it allows me to
connect. It allows me todecide what I would like to do after
(27:15):
I make the choice of what'shappening. Decision for me is a place
of power. Anytime we decide onsomething, there's power because
there's movement, there'saction. But before the action, there
is a choice of what makes youwant to do the decision, what makes
you want to do that. Andthat's what I was getting when you
were speaking. Sometimes Ifeel like they're hand in hand, but
(27:36):
the choice is the processingpart. And I don't think a lot of
people process. I think theyjust go into deciding without realizing
what's happening internally.
Yeah, because we disconnect,right? We disconnect. So what you're
talking about is reallybringing your attention back to you
and what's going on your bodybefore you react to your husband
or before you interact withhim. Next step, and what I do with
(27:59):
my clients is we start thereand then we start going backwards
and saying, okay, what is thisreally saying? Because it's an expression
of a layer, a trigger issimply an expression of a protective
mechanism from a young agethat's saying, hey, I want attention
and do you still need me here?Because I'm actually restricting
you. And this is how. And asyou get older, as you become more
(28:19):
of an adult and a parent orwhatever it is, or. And a CEO, business
owner, professional, it'llrestrict you more and more because
you actually need it less andless. You just don't know that you
still believe you need it. Andthat is all below surface level.
It's. It's subconscious. Sothe idea is, okay, let's go check
in and lean in on this and saywhat happened there? And I never
say why, because why isjudgment? What is openness and curiosity?
(28:41):
So what is it that's going onhere? What is this trying to tell
me? And then where is itcoming from? What is it about? And
then we work through the layerBackwards so that it gets dissolved,
and then that trigger nolonger is right. That pain point
becomes healed, thatvulnerability becomes stronger, and
then there's almost like theperson is made up differently. Right.
(29:03):
Because now they don't havethat to heal each time, and it no
longer comes up. And it's aprocess that we do. And it's wonderful
to see people sort of flourishand blossom and say, wow, like, I
know I would have beentriggered right there. I would have
been triggered. And like, oh,my goodness, something else came
up. And then I was creative,right? Because we can have, like,
you know, consciouscommunication and creative communication.
(29:24):
And then we can create withanother, even if we disagree because
we're not triggered anymore.So then we step into a whole other
realm of power that we don'talways get a chance to tap into because
we're more in reactive mode.
So true. And that realm ofpower is amazing.
Oh, yes. Very juicy.
It is. You know how people saythat statement is always greener
on the other side? And peopledon't think it's true? I go, this
(29:46):
is exactly greener on theother side. Like, that is greener.
Like, it's freaking glorious.
It's glorious. But you knowwhat? It's greener within.
It is there.
It's inside. So we all haveit. All of your listeners have it.
And if they don't know how totap into it, that's okay. Just being
aware that it exists and thengoing to explore and being willing
(30:09):
to discover it, that's thefirst step.
Yes, the awareness is thefirst step. Listen, it's one of the
gifts that I was given. Andit's so nice that we're speaking
because people don't knowwe're meeting for the first time.
And now they do know because Isaid it.
Yes.
But we come from the same. Thesame spiritual seed family in regards
to our purpose and ourmission. Because we can hear things
(30:29):
and we can see things, and weget to ask the questions. We're the
mirror that reflects. And inthat reflection, people get to become
aware, and then they get tomake a choice, and then they get
to put power behind it bydeciding. Exactly. And they get to
transform, ultimately. And tohave that gift is heavenly. It's
beautiful. And every one of ushave our own gifts. And I know that
(30:54):
for a fact, because the peopleI work with don't have that, but
they have something else thatserves this amazing being, you know?
And I'm so grateful for you tocome and share that with us. You
know, now I will be sharingyour book in the show notes. And
I want you, before you go togive us at least three actionable
steps that our listeners cantake to help them build their awareness
(31:16):
to start the process.
Yeah, I'm going to give youmore than that because I actually
have a giveaway for youraudience that's specifically around
us. There's around that. Soit's funny that you're actually mentioning
that that I really wanted togift everybody, including yourself
here today. If they look at mywebsite, which is super easy, it's
Basically my namemartincohen.com forward/connect with
(31:39):
me. There is a two day sort ofmindset reset, but also starting
to become aware of yourthoughts, how to quieten your mind,
how to get out of your head,how to have your brain sort of like
give you space so that you cansort of feel your essence reconnect
from within and then buildthat awareness. There's also like
a one page little exercisething. There are two videos, there's
(32:01):
also writing and you canlisten to it over and over again
and you'll see the evolutionon your path. The first thing is
to have an open mindset. It'sthe three pillars of my book which
are adventure, awareness,alignment. So haven't wake up in
the morning and say, what's myintention for the day? Because often
we're so on automatic pilot wedon't check in. What's my intention
for today? Not I want my, my,I need to do, I want to get everything
(32:22):
done. No, what's my intentionfor me. How would you like your day
to go? Because that is your 10minute brain programming where it's
above conscious level and therest is going to happen below conscious
level. When you program yourbrain to see your day in a certain
way, to experience it in acertain way, it will show it to you
in that way. It's fascinatinghow it works. You know, some of the
best days that people have arenot the days that go the smoothest.
(32:45):
It's the days where theyshowed up to a challenge in a way
they never thought they couldand they actually conquered the challenge.
Those are people's best days.You'll hear they're like I had a
flat tire and my, I was lateat my meeting. But you know what?
I don't know. It felt fine. Idid it. I felt good. I was empowered.
I found a creative solution.That's empowerment. So not to be
afraid to lean in fully inevery challenge is an opportunity.
(33:06):
In every problem or every, youknow, question, the answer lies within.
It's there for Us to discover,not to shy away from, not to be afraid
of and. And not to sort ofwalk away from or run away from.
We don't need to hide. Be allof who you are. And if somebody else
doesn't like it, I heardsomebody say, just put on sunglasses,
right? Like, be youunapologetically, but be authentic,
(33:29):
genuine. You don't have toprove anything. Nobody else has to
prove anything to you. And youdon't have to prove yourself. And
if you have those kind ofthings driving you, you want to go
within and see. Hold on asecond, let me check in. Does that
actually feel good to me? Isthat what I would want to do? So
questioning yourself, checkingin a few times during the day. It
doesn't take long because wereally do go on automatic pilot.
(33:51):
And then we don't know. It'slike driving, like, oh, I don't know
how I got here. I didn't havean accident. I didn't burn any red
lights. But I still don't knowhow I got here because I wasn't present
to the body. Bring your energyback to your body. We fragmented
with the interactions that wehave. Even when we have an unpleasant
interaction, consciously bringyour energy back to you because otherwise
you've left it out there. Andthen by the end of the day, you are
(34:11):
depleted and exhausted.
And then the other two, youhad also awareness. Was that part
of that?
So that's awareness. So onceyou start, you know you have an open
mindset. You approach life notwith fear, but with curiosity. And
a great brain hack is if youare curious, your brain forgets to
be fearful. You can't becurious and afraid at the same time.
It just doesn't work. Try it,you'll see it doesn't work. Just
like there's no fear whenyou're in the present moment. Fear
(34:33):
is based on past experiencesand it's based on future anticipation.
But in the present moment, itdoes not exist.
It doesn't. I know.
And it doesn't. It just livesthere. It's not the frequency, which
is wonderful, because ifyou're afraid, say to yourself, hold
on a second. Where did I go?To the past or to the future? Let
me come back here. It helpsyou regroup, it helps you refocus,
(34:53):
it helps you ground yourselfand recenter, and then it will give
you a creative solution. Sothat's the beauty of it. Like, we
disempower ourselves a milliontimes a day without realizing it.
So always make sure it's okayto do it. We're not Perfect. We're
not meant to be perfect. Thisis an exploration. This is a discovery
journey and a learningprocess. But take it back. Take your
power back. Every time you'reaware, become aware that you've given
(35:15):
it away. And then the lastthing is alignment. Because having
that kind of adventure,mindset, open mindset that leads
to awareness, then allows youto make choices from a place of alignment.
Imagine you pause for a secondbefore you choose something, but
you make sure that you'realigned with it. You're not doing
to please some. You're notdoing because you're stressed. You're
not doing because you need toget something off your plate. You're
not doing to avoid somethingor to chase something. You're doing
(35:36):
it because that was what youtruly feel is right for you. And
when you do that, you're okaywith whatever happens afterwards,
because you can manage that,because you just showed yourself
that you can trust you, andthat's so powerful. And that allows
you to live a life ofauthenticity. So it's like the three
A's that lead to the fourth.
Yes. Thank you so much, Martina.
My pleasure. It's great to be here.
(35:57):
It's a pleasure to have youhere. And when people question, what
is an iconic CEO, this is it.This is the transformations they
go through. Choice, awareness,presence. Therefore, as they increase
their capacity in doing whatthey're meant to do, they don't get
scared, but they get curious,and they have an exciting time doing
(36:18):
what they love and everythingabout that is what I get to live
today. And I shared this theother day with some people with my
community, and they asked me,were you always like this? And I
go, hell, no.
But that's the best part,right? So audience, guys, like, you
know, gals, actually, right?We are not born this way.
No.
Maybe we are born this way,and then society conditions us to
(36:40):
be something else. But returnto you. Return to yourself. Be all
of who you are. And look atus. Oh, I was so not like this, right?
Like spiritual attorney,expansive. Like, you know, but we
all have it in us, and we init. And honestly, it's our birthright.
It's your birthright to goexplore it, to find your path, and
(37:00):
then to walk your pathproudly, boldly, and own it fully,
because that's the power.
So true. Martine, what ablessing to have you. Thank you so
much for joining us on IconicCEO podcast.
Thank you so much for having me.
Honored to have you here,sharing, giving us that amazing gift.
I can't wait to see it and doit myself and I will be definitely
(37:21):
in the Show Notes. Can youshare a little bit of how people
can find and interact withyou? Where can they find you?
Absolutely. So through mywebsite, martincohn.com but also
they can email me if they havequestions or if they want to work
together, they want toexplore. It's infoartincohen.com
and I just want to say that tome, the connection with my community,
(37:44):
the community is the mostimportant thing. So if they email
me, they will get a personalresponse back from me. Not a team
member, not a bot, becausethat's very important to me and it
gets time consuming, but it'ssomething that I cherish and I value
very much and that's reallyimportant. So they will hear from
me. They can also take a lookat the book. It's on Amazon. It's
called no More Layers.Discover your inner power and reclaim
(38:06):
true freedom from the inside out.
So amazing. Thank you, Martine.
My pleasure. Thank you forhaving me.
Thank you for joining ustoday. We loved having you with us.
Remember, each action youtake, no matter how small, adds up
to big results. If today'sepisode fired you up, hit subscribe
for more insights and visitour resource hub, which is linked
(38:29):
in the Show Notes. Thereyou'll find tools to streamline,
organize and grow yourbusiness. Keep moving forward and
we'll be right here to cheeryou on next week.
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