March 20, 2025 • 43 mins
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Have you ever left a therapy session feeling worse about your relationship than when you arrived? For those experiencing Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), traditional talk therapy can actually intensify relationship struggles rather than resolve them. Drawing from nearly two decades of personal experience with PMDD and extensive work with couples, I uncover why this seemingly helpful approach often backfires.
Words shape reality—this principle lies at the heart of why talk therapy fails PMDD relationships. When you're already battling hormonal fluctuations that trigger negative thoughts about your partner, verbally rehearsing these problems without strategic solutions only reinforces neural pathways of dissatisfaction. Your brain doesn't distinguish between venting and programming—it simply absorbs whatever message you repeatedly deliver.
The most dangerous aspect is how talk therapy can create a powerful feedback loop: PMDD focuses you on relationship negatives, therapy encourages expressing these negatives, your brain interprets this as confirmation the relationship is problematic, and well-meaning friends or therapists naturally suggest you should leave. Meanwhile, the underlying PMDD patterns driving these perceptions remain unaddressed.
Breaking this cycle requires more than awareness—it demands specific tools designed for PMDD's unique challenges. One powerful technique is creating a "follicular phase letter" documenting what you appreciate about your partner when symptoms subside, then reading it daily during your luteal phase as a concrete reminder of what PMDD temporarily blinds you to. This isn't toxic positivity; it's strategic counterbalancing of PMDD's overwhelming negativity.
If you're committed to your relationship but struggling with PMDD's effects, join our PMDD Power Couples community where we combine understanding with practical strategies. Learn to speak what you seek until you see what you spoke—because with the right approach, PMDD doesn't have to dictate your relationship's destiny.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today I want to talk to you about why talk therapy
does not work for specificallyfor premenstrual disorder
relationships, because I knowthat a lot of you have in the
past before you found me or evenafter you found me maybe you've
been to counselors,psychologists, therapists and
(00:22):
you've tried different things tomanage your PMDD symptoms,
specifically towards what'sgoing on in your PMDD
relationship, and I really wantto talk to you about some of the
things that you may have triedin the forms of therapy that
don't work, and I want to tellyou this from experience,
because as a counselor, we getaccess to all of the different
(00:45):
modalities that can work as faras counseling is concerned.
Therapy is concerned and a lotof things are beneficial and
then some things are not.
So I really want to talk to youtoday about some of the things
that are not beneficial abouttalk therapy, because I don't
want you to try something thatis literally going to cause your
PMDD symptoms to be worse.
So earlier in my journey, Iloved talk therapy, because I
(01:06):
don't want you to try somethingthat is literally going to cause
your PMDD symptoms be worse.
So earlier in my journey, Ilove talk therapy for trauma,
not for PMDD, originally when Iwas getting help with a lot of
my childhood trauma.
I actually went to a counselorpsychologist for going through
everything that happened with mychildhood and a lot of times
when I go back to deal with mychildhood trauma I will use talk
(01:27):
therapy because it helps mebring up a lot of the things
that I have blocked out becauseI have a trauma response of
forgetting things and blockingthings out.
I use talk therapy as a way torelive some of those experiences
so I can kind of get to theroot of what is really going on,
and so it is beneficial in someaspects of someone's life.
(01:50):
But when you have premenstrualdisorder and you're really
trying to address your PMDDsymptoms and the way that
they're impacting your PMDDrelationship, talk therapy will
literally make you feel likeyou're reliving that experience
and it is going to cause you togo back off on your partner in
PMVD rage.
You're going to get more angry,you're going to get more
(02:12):
triggered and the individualwho's trying to help you may not
understand why it's not working.
Because by the time a lot of myprivate clients have worked
with me, they've gone to a lotof other individuals and they're
like well, that individualdidn't work, that therapist
didn't work, that counselordidn't work it almost made it
worse, meaning they went into atherapy session, they went into
(02:33):
a couple's therapy session andthey went around and they talked
about everything that happenedwithin their relationship.
And when you get to that pointwhere you're talking about
everything that happens in therelationship, then you get to
the point where you're actuallyreliving that experience.
So what I want to let you knowwhen it comes to talk therapy is
(02:55):
that it does not work a lot oftimes because it's having you go
into the emotions of dealingwith those situations all over
again.
It gets you to that point ofreally reliving it in a way that
you can be triggered again andagain, and again, and you're
actually feeling more angry whenyou come out of a counseling
(03:15):
session.
You're feeling more angry whenyou're coming out of talking
about an issue, and it's notbecause you didn't genuinely
want to get to a solution.
It's not because you didn'tgenuinely want to get to a
solution.
It's not because you didn'tgenuinely want to talk about
what was happening.
It is okay to talk about whatis happening, but when you get
to the point where you'retalking about it in a sense of
(03:38):
you're not coming up with anysolutions.
That's where the damage is done.
The damage is done when you'reconsistently talking about an
issue and there's no solutionthere.
So what happens is you'rereliving those emotions and
you're talking about whathappened in that moment.
You're feeling the emotions ofthat moment and then you're
feeling even more triggered.
A lot of times this is whathappens when you come to me
(03:59):
because you feel like I've triedto talk to my partner about the
issues.
I know the issues that we havein our PMDD relationship.
I know the things that we needto deal with.
I know the things that we needto talk about, but every single
time we talk about them, italmost seems like I'm more mad.
I'm more convinced that we needto break up, and it is because
you are talking about somethingwithout having the tools to
(04:20):
provide a solution.
So I'm just going to go overwhy talk therapy is so damaging,
because I just really, whetheryou work with me or not, I
really don't want you to get itto a point because I know that
you're intentionally going tosomeone to help you.
So I don't want you to ever getto a point where you're going
to someone and it's actuallycausing you to be worse off than
(04:44):
you were before, and so let'sjust talk about when talk
therapy is beneficial.
Talk therapy is beneficial insituations where you have a
block, where you really are notable to talk about what has been
going on in your PMDDrelationship.
You're not able to talk aboutpast experiences, you're not
able to bring it up.
And You're not able to bring itup and you have this kind of
(05:07):
avoidance to it.
Talk therapy will help youuncover it.
So I will say, if you use it ina PMDD relationship, use it as
step one, step one and not endall be all meaning.
There needs to be a step two.
So if anyone that you're workingwith because I work with a lot
of counselors, psychologists andtherapists, with working with
individuals with PMDD and I saynever leave them in that place
(05:30):
where they just talked abouteverything that they've gone
through in their PMDDrelationship and be like, okay,
that's so great that you guystalked about it, and then just
leave them If you don't havePMDD strategic tools to give
them in that moment, they'regoing to feel worse about each
other, they're going to feelworse about the relationship and
they're going to get to a pointwhere they don't want to be in
the relationship it's going toalmost.
(05:52):
Talk therapy will almost makeyou get to a point where it's
more clear about why you don'twant to be with your partner,
because you'll get so clear onall of the things that trigger
you and not have any solutionsand be like that's why we
shouldn't be together.
So what it really does is itfocuses on the present moment
and it doesn't really talk abouta lot of the past experiences.
(06:15):
It talks about how are youfeeling right now, what's going
on with you right now, what areyour thoughts, what are your
emotions, what are your actionsright now?
What caused you to react thatway right now and the reason why
.
That is the antithesis of whatworks in PMDD, because a lot of
the things that happen duringyour luteal phase happen during
PMDD.
Strategically are reactions tothings that have happened in the
(06:37):
past, meaning your partner hassaid and done things in the past
and that is why you are nowreacting in this way.
So with talk therapy, you'rereally in that moment of only
focusing on the present momentand focusing on now and working
on awareness and working on yourexperience right now.
But a lot of what you're goingthrough in your PMDD
relationship has to do with whathappens before, and talk
(06:58):
therapy is one of those thingsthat doesn't like to go back.
It likes to focus on onlywhat's going on right now.
And what are you experiencingin your mind?
What are you experiencing inyour body?
So you have to really thinkabout this.
If you're in your luteal phase,if you are in PMDD, and someone
asks you how are you feeling inyour mind, how are you feeling
in your body right now, andyou're going to be like I'm
(07:21):
freaking, pissed off, I'm upset,I have muscle aches, I have
body aches.
You're going to go down thelist of all of the PMDD symptoms
that you have and it's going tomake you even more pissed off.
And the reason why I know thisis because when I get about day
seven of my luteal phase and Ireally start recognizing how I'm
(07:43):
feeling in my body, how I'mfeeling in my mind and I've used
this talk therapy techniqueit's made me feel even worse.
Because when I'm verbalizinghow horrible I feel, when I'm
verbalizing how much I'mtriggered in my body for no
apparent reason, when I'mverbalizing just the living hell
that I'm living in, it doesn'tmake me feel better to recognize
(08:06):
the state that I'm in.
When you are suffering in yourluteal phase and you start
talking about all of thesymptoms that you have, it
doesn't make you feel better andthis is why I stopped doing
that.
So if you follow me onInstagram DrRose underscore in
love with PMDD I used to vlog myjourney every single day.
I still vlog it, but I used totalk about all of my symptoms
(08:29):
every single day and I thoughtit was a way of being
transparent so that you couldreally understand what I'm going
through and say, hey, likeshe's going through the same
thing that I'm going through, asa way of making you feel seen,
without really recognizing thatthe more I talk about my PMDD
symptoms, the worse I felt abouthaving my PMDD symptoms,
(08:51):
because I wasn't talking to youand saying, oh, I have muscle
tension or I have misophonia, or, oh, I have anxiety or, oh, I
have depression, and then I wastelling you that I had these,
these cures for it or thesetools to use for it.
I was just letting you knowthat I was suffering, and a lot
of times that's what's happeningon a lot of these Facebook
groups and these Reddit groupsthat a lot of my clients have me
(09:13):
go to is you're talking abouthow horrible you feel and
wondering why initially it makesyou feel good because you know
you're kind of like yeah, you'resuffering, I'm suffering too,
and so you're kind of bonding,it's a trauma bond.
It literally is a trauma bond.
Pmdd is traumatic and whenyou're going on these groups and
you're talking about thingsthat are going on in your luteal
(09:35):
phase and how much you'resuffering, how much you're
suffering in your relationship,you're bonding with individuals
based off of the trauma thatyou're experiencing.
So you think it's a healthything because you feel validated
in your emotions without reallyrecognizing you are trauma
bonding with individuals andthat doesn't help either one of
you.
It's almost like a cripplingthing because every single time
(09:55):
you go into PMDD, you want toreach back out to that person
that you're trauma bonded with.
It's like, oh, I'm feelinghorrible today.
Let me reach out to this otherperson that's also feeling
horrible.
So I feel less alone by feelinghorrible.
Well, do either one of you haveany tools or things that you're
doing to feel better?
No, but it's almost like I feelgood being seen and so I'm all
(10:18):
about sharing my journey of howmuch I suffer with PMDD.
I will never deny that I sufferwith premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
I don't care if I'm doing thiswork.
For 50 years I suffered withpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
for over 19 years.
I will never tell you that I gointo my luteal phase and I
don't suffer.
I do suffer the realms in whichI suffer, the highs and lows of
(10:39):
it.
It's different every singlemonth, which I'm sure it is for
you, based off of the externalstresses that you have going on
in your life.
But I've never not suffered andI want to make that very, very
clear and talking about mysuffering has never made me feel
like I'm not suffering anymore.
It's made me feel less aloneand I'm all about community,
(11:02):
which is why I created the PMDDPower Couples Group Counseling
Membership, because I wanted itto be a place one of the only
places, where you're in a groupand you're talking about your
PMDD symptoms and you're talkingabout how it's impacting your
relationship and you're talkingabout what's going on in your
PMDD relationship and you'reactually getting help for it.
(11:24):
This is my vision for thiscommunity is that we are a group
of individuals who aresuffering in PMDD.
We're going through dating,we're going through
relationships, we're goingthrough marriages, we're going
through breakups, we're goingthrough all of these things in
our PMDD and we're getting toolsof what to do about it every
single week.
I was so alone, so, so, so alonein my journey after my breakup
(11:47):
with my ex and I went through somuch and I know when really
understood how adding PMDD tothe mix of a breakup really
really felt and it was horrible.
And I'm going to admit that itwas really really horrible
because I was isolated a lot ofthe time.
And then when I started to getinto community, like in my condo
(12:08):
I call them my condo mates westarted to go out.
I started to discover my loveof dancing.
I started to discover you knowmore things about being more the
core of who I am, beingextroverted, started loving
myself a lot more extroverted,started loving myself a lot more
, and that's why I had thisphrase of like good vibes only
because there were so manymoments that brought me so much
(12:30):
joy, that took me out of thesuffering of PMDD.
And I wouldn't have had itwithout that community If I
would have stayed locked up inmy condo, not going out, not
going out and I don't even meangoing out to party, going out to
dinners, going out with friendstalking about the things that
were going on.
I didn't talk about things thatwere going on in my breakup with
(12:50):
my ex-PMD partner in a way tobash him, to shame him, any of
those things.
I only talked to my friendsbecause I wanted to recognize
what I needed to do, movingforward to get better.
So I have this way ofdeveloping tools through talk
therapy.
That's one of the gifts thatGod has given me is that when
(13:12):
someone starts talking to me ona private session and I do
believe this is a gift, becauseother people have told me this,
even counselors, because theyhave to go back to the textbook
and kind of like, okay, I'mtaking notes and then I'm
researching it and all thethings no, when I'm talking to
someone on a private session andthey're literally talking to me
(13:34):
and telling me everythingthat's going on in their PMDD
relationship, my brain isliterally developing tools that
are specifically customized totheir specific PMDD relationship
.
I don't want to take credit forthis, because I know this is my
God-given gift.
(13:54):
I pray for it every single day,regardless of what you believe.
I pray for my ability to be soclose to PMDD partners and PMDD
sufferers that I'm able to havethe discernment to understand
what they're going through andprovide them tools to help them
break free from the suffering intheir PMDD relationship.
I pray for that, I work hardfor that.
I stay really close to God in away that I need to be
(14:16):
perceptive, because a lot of thetools that I've developed over
the years it's not based off ofa textbook.
And I've said it once and I sayit again yes, I am a doctor,
but a lot of the things that Ihave learned from helping
individuals who are in PMDDrelationships number one, it
comes from having premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
Number two, it comes fromrelying on God to help me get
(14:44):
through my own suffering, getout of my suffering, in order to
help someone else.
It's a lot to suffer with PMDDand help individuals who have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
It can be very triggering attimes because I could be in my
follicular days feeling good,not even really suffering with
PMDD symptoms myself, but thenI'm consistently putting myself
(15:07):
in situations where I'm dealingwith PMDD.
So I literally deal with PMDD30 to 31 days out of the month,
whether I'm in pre-MDD orwhether someone else is.
Either I'm recording a podcastepisode on PMDD or I'm with a
private client on PMDD or I'mexperiencing PMDD and I wouldn't
trade that for the world, but Iwant to let you know.
(15:28):
I'm telling you this because Ireally don't feel like people
understand how bad, how horriblesuffering and PMDD is unless
you've had it.
And for those of you that havesaid that you've healed from it
and you don't have it anymore,of you that have said that
you've healed from it and youdon't have it anymore Okay, I
know that I've done a lot ofhealing, I've used a lot of
(15:49):
tools I will never tell you Idon't have any PMDD symptoms I
have.
I will tell you that there'vebeen times in my life where my
PMDD symptoms have been lessened, that they've been like a
lighter blow, but I will nevertell you that I've completely
healed from them.
And that's why a lot of timeswhen I have people DM me and
they're like what are thesupplements that you're taking,
or what is the medication thatyou're taking, or what are the
(16:10):
SSRIs that you're taking, orwhat are you doing for your
symptoms, and for me it'sliterally holistically based and
it's my strategic tools that Ihave to develop and it's
literally based off of everysingle thing that I'm going
through because everything elsethis is why I created the PMDD
Power Couples membership too isbecause my PMDD literally
fluctuates based off of what'sgoing on in my life.
(16:32):
I never have two months thatreally look the same, because my
life really doesn't look thesame and I know that's true for
you.
When I was in my PMDDrelationships, all of them,
everything, was different.
Every single day in my PMDDrelationship things come up.
You know you have kids, youdon't have kids, you have work,
you don't have work, you havefinancial problems.
You have all of these thingsthat come up and it adds to what
(16:54):
you're going through in PMDDand you need to be able to have
the tools on the spot, which iswhy I created this membership.
That we meet every single weekis because meeting once a month
or meeting once and twice amonth wasn't good enough,
because when something came up,if I didn't have a tool to use,
I was 100% gonna do damage in myPMDD relationship.
(17:17):
100% gonna do damage.
And what I will tell you themost damage that I've ever done
in my PMDD relationship withusing talk therapy or using a
way of just getting everythingout and venting is talking
negatively about my partnertalking negatively about my
(17:38):
relationship to otherindividuals and listening to the
words that they said inresponse.
Because a lot of times I'mgoing to be completely honest
PMDD is a very negative,negative, negative thing that
you can have going on in yourmind.
And so if you're sayingnegative things about your
(17:59):
partner and PMDD is sayingnegative things about your
partner, and then you havefriends and family who are
listening to you talk negativelyabout your PMDD partner and
they start talking negative,it's literally going to make you
feel like the only solutionthat you need to have is to
break up with your PMDD partner,because you're going to be
surrounded by negativity.
(18:20):
And I will always tell you thatwhen your friends and family
are talking negatively aboutyour partner because you've been
talking negatively about yourpartner, they're trying to
protect you.
So I've never gotten mad at thefriends that I've had who don't
really understand PMDD andthey've listened to me vent
about it and they're like youneed to get out of there, you
need to break up or you don'tneed to be with this person.
(18:41):
I've never really faulted themfor that and the reason why I
haven't faulted them for that isbecause I know that it was
coming from a place where theywere trying to protect me
because it looked like mypartner was abusing me.
It looked like they weretreating me horribly and my
friends and family were justbasically telling me you deserve
better than this, you shouldjust get out of this.
And I couldn't blame them.
(19:03):
Because if someone who I loveand care about came to me and
started talking crap about theirpartner and saying that they've
been abused by them and they'rehorrible and they don't,
they're not sensitive andthey're not supportive to their
PMDD, I would be like, oh mygosh, like that sounds horrible,
you need to get out of there.
Like I wouldn't tell them.
But that's what I would bethinking in my mind.
(19:24):
And the only reason that Iwouldn't tell them is because
I'm a counselor and I don't tellpeople to break up.
But as a friend, I would feeljustified to be like you know
what.
You deserve better than that,because they love and care about
you and they want you to betreated your best.
But when you have premenstrualdysphoric disorder, it adds a
different realm to whatever itis that you're going through in
(19:45):
your PMDD relationship and thatneeds to be addressed.
If you just address it in asense of you not having PMDD and
you're just literallyaddressing it as oh, my partner
just treats me like crap, or oh,my partner's not being
sensitive to my need, or oh, mypartner is this, oh, my partner
is that.
And you're literally justlabeling off all of the
behaviors that are making yousuffer in your PMDD symptoms and
(20:08):
making your PMDD worse.
Then, of course, the counselor,psychologist I've had private
clients tell me, like all of thecounselors that I've went to
have told me I need to get outof this situation because it's
so abusive, and I've said, okay,I can understand that.
Have they addressed any of theissues that specifically have to
do with PMDD?
And they're like well, no, theyrecognize that I have PMDD, but
(20:30):
they've not given me any tools.
They just said that I don'tneed to be in this relationship
and I deserve better.
And so what that's basicallydoing is confirming the bias.
You're basically invitingpeople into your life that are
going to be on the side of PMDD,that are telling you to break
up with your partner, and sowhat I want to let you know as I
(20:51):
go through these tools with youtoday is talk.
Therapy is not bad.
I just truly believe it's badfor premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
It is not bad when I go throughmy childhood trauma.
It's not bad when I go throughbad when I go through my
childhood trauma.
It's not bad when I go through.
If I've ever had PTSD with meetmyself or any of my other
(21:11):
private clients in my traumapractice, it's not bad.
I use talk therapy.
I just 100% don't use it byitself in PMDD.
Now, if you're completelyavoidant and you're in denial of
having premenstrual disorder,then I'll have you use it in
order to uncover what's reallygoing on with you and then I
will move in what I call andwhat I practice, which is
(21:32):
rewiring your PMDD brain, whichis I'm understanding the impact
that PMDD is having on yourcognitive brain and the
intrusive thoughts and howyou're really thinking and how
convincing it is.
I'm understanding that and thenI'm giving you the tools as to
what you can do about it so thatyou don't feel the need to
break up with your partner.
But I want to really talk toyou.
(21:54):
If you're still on board, ifyou're still on board with talk
therapy and feeling like this isworking for me and talking
about my suffering is sobeneficial for me, I want you to
just understand that, theimpact that it's having on your
PMDD symptoms and your PMDDrelationship, that you may not
(22:16):
recognize, because a lot oftimes when I even and I'm
telling you this, it's no shame,it's no blame I did it.
I did it as, up until I think,up until last year I was still
and we're in 2025.
Up until last year, I was stilland we're in 2025, up until
last year, I was still like dayone of PMDD and day two of PMDD,
and then I would go into all ofmy symptoms to just make sure
that I was talking about everysingle symptom that I had and I
(22:41):
wondered why I felt worse andthen it made me suffer through a
lot of my PMDD partner'smorning routine.
Honestly, because now wordshave power, the words that you
speak, you give life to thethings that you say.
So that's the first thing thatI want you to really recognize.
Cognitively, your subconsciousmind doesn't know when you're
saying something and it's trueand when it's not true.
(23:02):
So even if you're talkingreally negatively and you'll be
like, oh, I feel horrible, Ifeel like crap, or my partner is
a piece of crap, or blah, blah,blah, even if you're just
saying it to vent, yourcognitive brain is really
downloading every single thingthat you're saying about your
partner.
And so if you're saying thatyou're suffering because of your
partner and because of yourPMDD relationship, the best
thing that your brain is goingto do is to make you feel like
(23:25):
you need to get out of thisrelationship.
You need to get out of thisscenario, and it's going to make
you feel justified in doing sobecause it's like why wouldn't
you leave?
You feel horrible about them,and then you're wondering why
you're trying to stay with yourpartner but it's not working.
It's not working because you'veliterally programmed your brain
to think negatively about yourpartner by the words that you
say.
(23:45):
And so one of the things thathas really worked for me in
previous relationships with PMDDpartners is really getting to
the point of understanding thatwhat I say about my partner is
going to magnify, it's going tocome to fruition, and what I
mean by that is I'm speakinglife to anything that I'm saying
about my partner.
So if I'm saying that mypartner is abusive, guess what?
(24:07):
If my partner becomes verballyabusive, why would I be
surprised?
I'm literally speaking lifeinto that.
Or if I say my partner's soselfish and then my partner
starts acting selfish.
Why would I be surprised if I'mliterally at this point of
speaking about them and thenbeing surprised that what I'm
speaking I'm literallymanifesting in my life?
(24:27):
So if you want your partner toshow up differently in your life
, you need to start speakingdifferently about them before
you even see the result of it.
And what I mean by that isyou're gonna speak what you seek
until you see what you said.
That is the mantra that Iliterally use all the time Speak
what you seek, meaning speakwhat kind of behavior you seek
(24:48):
out of your partner.
Speak what kind of partner thatyou want to have.
If you want to have asupportive PMDD partner, then
just look at all of the waysthat they are supportive.
Am I saying that your partneris supportive in all ways?
Absolutely not.
That's why I created the course.
My Partner has PMDD, now what?
But what you speak, you magnify, what you put the focus on.
You magnify what you focus onyou find.
(25:10):
So if you want your partner tobe more supportive, start
looking at the ways that theyare supportive and then start
talking to them and magnifyingthose specific ways.
So in past relationships, whatI've really admired about a lot
of my previous PMDD partners istheir routines Like.
(25:31):
If they have a morning routine,evening routine, I don't care
what time of the day is, but ifthey're taking care of
themselves.
And as far as a self-carementality, I always believe that
if you want your partner to besupportive, they need to have
something that helps themregulate their emotions, what
they're going through, let go ofsome steam.
I don't care if you playbadminton, if you play pool, if
(25:53):
you play golf, if you work out,if you play basketball, if you
ski, I don't care what the thingis.
But when a partner orindividual that I'm dating is
participating in an activitythat allows them to get out of
their head, get into their body,let off steam just is healthy
for them, makes them feel goodabout themselves.
(26:14):
I always encourage that in myPMDD partners or my PMDD
companions or people that I'mdating.
So I'm always magnifying what Iwant to see more of.
So that's something that youneed to begin to do.
Magnifying what I want to seemore of.
So that's something that youneed to begin to do.
Think about the things that youdo like about your PMVD partner
and start to magnify what it isthat they do that you do like.
Stop talking about so much ofwhat the things that they're
(26:35):
doing that you don't like andstart thinking about what you do
like about your partner.
Cognitively.
You're going to be programmingyour brain and you're going to
come on board and they're goingto be like, wow, we do like this
person, we do like this partner.
Because what happens is when youallow PMDD to magnify itself
and all you're doing is havingPMDD talk negatively about your
(26:58):
partner in your head, and thenyou're talking negatively.
Your friends and family aretalking negatively.
These forums that you go on aretalking negatively, and then
all of you are on board withtalking negatively.
These forums that you go on aretalking negatively, and then
all of you are on board withtalking negatively.
And then you wonder why you'resuffering in your PMDD
relationship, because all it isis negativity.
All it is is negativity.
And so what happens is withtalk therapy, and why it's so
damaging is because it focuseson overemphasizing, on
(27:21):
verbalization.
For couples dealing with PMDD,where they have the hormonal
fluctuations, it may be a pureapproach that's focusing on the
immediate need, like I need thisto change now.
I need this to change now.
So you're overemphasizing,complaining, complaining about
your partner talking negativelyabout your partner.
(27:41):
If you're going into talktherapy, they're going to be
like you're thinking negativelyabout your partner.
Tell me more so.
The more you speak negativelyabout your partner, the more
it's going to be downloaded inyour brain that this is a
horrible person.
How many times have you told astory to you know, your friends
or family about a fight thatyou've had with your PMDD
partner and you felt even moredisgusted with your partner,
(28:07):
felt even more disgusted withyour partner.
You felt even more likely tobreak up because you talked
about it and it's kind of likewhy am I even in this situation,
Like you thought it was a goodthing by finally getting it out?
But you actually feel morenegatively about your partner
because you put yourself in thesituation of magnifying the
negative instead of recognizingthe positive.
And so, also with talk therapy,it doesn't talk about how
(28:27):
strong PMDD is on the brain, howmuch PMDD is really impacting a
lot of those intrusive thoughts, and by intrusive I mean
negative.
Talk therapy isn't recognizingthat a lot of the things that
you're speaking, a lot of thethings that are going on in your
brain, are underlying PMDDissues are underlying things
(28:48):
that PMDD is digging up thingsin the past that you maybe
already talked about, maybealready dealt with.
And if you don't understand thetrick of PMDD, which is to
bring up old things, like ifthere's nothing presently going
on in your PMDD relationship,here is a very keen tool that
you need to understand Ifthere's nothing negative going
on in your PMDD relationship,pmdd will find something
(29:10):
negative in the past to focus on.
This is what I want you torealize.
That is, consistently searchingfor the negative.
So that means you will startarguing about things that have
come up in the past and you'llbe like your partner will be
like I thought we dealt withthis or I thought we talked
about this.
No, no, no.
Pmdd will bring it back up.
Pmdd will 100% bring it back upbecause it'll get you to the
(29:31):
point of you know reallyimportant thinking about all of
the reasons of why you need tobreak up with your PMDD partner.
That is the main goal.
There's a reason why hundredsand hundreds of PMDD partners
and hundreds and hundreds ofPMDD sufferers from all over the
world are thinking the samething, like that's not a
(29:52):
coincidence that we're allthinking about breaking up, no
matter where we are, becausethat's the goal of PMDD?
The goal of PMDD is toconsistently, you know, talk
about things that are negative.
So much to where I always sayPMDD can't take you out, so it's
going to wear you out in yourPMDD relationship.
(30:13):
It can't literally get rid ofyou, but it's going to make you
get rid of your partner bymaking you continuously think
about all of the reasons why youshouldn't be with your PMDD
partner.
Get rid of you, but it's goingto make you get rid of your
partner by making youcontinuously think about all of
the reasons why you shouldn't bewith your PMDD partner.
So this is what I want to letyou know about talk therapy.
Talk therapy is not bad, but itshould not strategically only
(30:34):
be used primarily in your PMDDrelationship without giving you
strategic tools.
Because when you don't havetools for a problem and then you
just see the problem and yousee the problem more clearly,
then what's going to happen isyou're going to think that the
best solution that you can haveis to get rid of your PMDD
partner.
You're literally going to thinkthat my relationship with
(30:55):
myself, my relationship with mylife, it would be so much more
peaceful if I was just single,and I've seen so many people
literally quarantine themselvesto being single because they
have premenstrual dysphoricdisorder, because they do not
think that they could be in aPMDD relationship and have a
partner because of all of thenegative things that they've
just been talking about againand again and again.
(31:18):
Because, cognitively, yourbrain wants to protect you from
things that they've just beentalking about again and again,
and again.
Because, cognitively, yourbrain wants to protect you from
things that cause you to suffer.
And guess what caused you tosuffer the most in PMDD, pmdd
relationships.
So guess what the cure is goingto be Break up with your
partner, and the way that youcould combat the way that talk
therapy has been damaging yourrelationship is to begin to
(31:38):
speak what you want to see.
So I used to do this so oftenwhere I really had to think
about what are the things that Ilove about my partner, and I
wrote myself a letter everysingle time I was in my
follicular phase.
Because, of course, when you'rein your follicular phase, you
see your partner so much morepositively and you're like, wow,
I really see why I'm with thisperson and I would have to
(32:00):
literally write it out and Iwould read that letter out loud
every single day that I was inPMDD.
So I used to be in premenstrualdisorder for 14 days, and so
for every day for those 14 days,I would read out this letter
that was talking about howamazing my partner was.
Was my partner presentlyshowing me how amazing he was?
Absolutely not.
(32:21):
A lot of times you're waitingfor your partner to be amazing
in order for you to speakamazing things about them, but
if you really think back on yourlife, you wouldn't be with this
person if they hadn't shown upto you in a way that you desire.
You wouldn't choose to commityourself to being with this
person unless at one point intheir life, they showed you that
(32:42):
they were deserving of yourpresence, unless at one point,
they showed you that they weredeserving of this relationship.
So what I want to let you knowis you need to hone in on that
when you are in your folliculardays, I want you to write it out
.
Write it out, write it out.
This is one of the tools that Iuse with my private clients is
write out the positive thingsthat are very clear to you when
(33:06):
you're in your follicular days,and for me I used to be like, oh
my gosh, my partner's sogenerous and my partner's so
communicative and my partner'sso this Things that maybe even
trigger you in your luteal phase, you'll begin to appreciate in
your follicular phase, becauseyou're not suffering with PMDD
symptoms.
It's very, very clear to you,but it's not going to be very,
(33:26):
very clear to you until you getto the point where you're
literally writing it out andyou're verbalizing it.
So words have power, meaningtalk therapy.
You can use a tool from that ina positive way where, instead
of talking negatively about yourpartner, you're choosing to
talk positively about yourpartner and say those positive
(33:49):
things.
And here's what I want to say,because I know that there's
going to be some resistance tothis and the resistance to doing
this tool is 100% going to beyour ego and it's going to be
like oh so you want me to justdeny the reality of my situation
and live in this land of toxicpositivity where I'm just
pretending that everything'sgreat when it's really not.
No, but what is the alternative?
(34:11):
For me to tell you to continueto talk crap about your partner,
to continue to talk crap aboutyour relationship, so much to
the fact that you're not evengoing to want to be with them.
What is the alternative?
So if you're saying, dr Rose,this is not going to work for me
because that's what the ego isgoing to say, specifically if
you're in PMDD, I don't want totalk positively about my partner
(34:33):
.
When they're consistentlytalking negative, it almost
feeds the fuel even more,because I've seen this so many
times on private sessions, whereyou're wanting to tell me more
negative things about yourpartner to prove your point.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatwe've gone through.
No, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatthey did.
No, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatthey said.
And so you consistently speakmore and more negative things to
(34:55):
try to convince other peopleand yourself that you shouldn't
be with this person.
But then what happens?
You continuously be with thisperson, so there's a level of
resistance.
If you're consistently talkingnegative and you're talking
about reasons why you shouldn'tbe with the person and then you
stay with them, you're going tobe suffering in the PMDD
relationship because you'vecaused yourself to suffer by
(35:16):
speaking something intoexistence I don't want to be
with this person, I deservebetter.
Maybe I'm not compatible withthem.
So you're saying all thesereasons that you want to break
up and then you're staying withthem and you're wondering why
you're suffering.
You're going against the grain.
Here's what I want to let youknow If you have no intention of
really deep down and you'llknow this deep down if you have
(35:38):
no intention of really breakingup with your partner and you
really know that you genuinelywant to be with them, then zip
it up.
When it comes to speakingnegatively about them,
specifically to other people,are you going to have thoughts
that are negative?
Absolutely, absolutely.
You're going to have thoughts.
I'm not telling you to onlythink positively about your
partner.
(35:58):
I'm saying don't give life tothe negativity by speaking on
them.
Do not consistently speaknegatively and think that you're
going to feel positively aboutyour partner.
If you want to feel positivelyabout your partner in your
relationship, then speakpositively about your partner in
the relationship.
It's a very simple formula howdo you want to feel about your
(36:20):
partner?
How do you want to feel aboutyour relationship If you're in
your luteal phase and you can'tfind anything positive about
your partner?
That's why I said make thatlist, write that letter.
I don't care if it's bulletpoints, I don't care if it's
words, I don't care how youverbalize it.
But you need to be speakingpositively about your partner,
because what this is going to dois going to counter the
(36:40):
negativity that is alreadyplaying in your PMDD brain.
Your PMDD brain is alreadygoing to be thinking negatively
and it's going to be giving younegative thoughts.
It's going to have youhyper-focused on negative things
about your partner.
If you don't fight back byspeaking back to your mind and I
(37:01):
don't even mean speaking youdon't even have to say these
things specifically to yourpartner, you just have to say
them to yourself.
So we were getting to thispoint of I shouldn't be with my
partner.
I shouldn't be with my partner.
When you feel yourself thatyou're in the loop of speaking
negatively about your PMDpartner and relationship, you
stop it, you shut it down.
It's kind of like if someonecame up to you and you have a
child or a nephew or a niece ora sister or a brother that you
(37:23):
love and adore, and someone cameup to you and they started
talking crap about that person,that little person that you love
and adore, you would be like no, no, no, no, no.
You would immediately start todefend them by saying all the
positive things about them.
Why are you not doing that foryour partner?
Why are you not doing that foryour relationship?
(37:44):
If someone is speakingnegatively about your
relationship and you're like,yeah, I know I deserve better
than this, all you're doing isto contributing to the situation
and again, if you're not goingto leave, it's going to cause
you to suffer even more.
So, if you know that you'recommitted to being in this
relationship, you know thatyou're with your person, this is
your person, regardless ofwhether you're suffering in PMDD
(38:05):
or not.
You need to get to the pointwhere you're training your brain
to not just listen to everysingle thing that PMDD is
telling you, but you're trainingyour brain to think positively
about your PMDD partner, even ifyour PMDD brain is always going
to be speaking negatively aboutyour partner.
You need to be speakinglanguage that is going to
counter that.
That's all I'm saying.
(38:25):
I understand that.
I don't want to see the resultof that negativity in my life,
in my relationship.
If you're consistently tellingyour partner you're not a
supportive PMDD partner, guesswhat?
When you're not a supportivePMDD partner, guess what?
When they're not a supportivePMDD partner, why are you
surprised?
You're literally telling themthat they're not a supportive
(38:47):
PMDD partner, instead of saying,oh babe, thank you for doing
this, you're so amazing becauseyou did this.
Find something that they'redoing that you actually enjoy
and guess what?
They'll do more of it when youstart affirming them and
recognizing and appreciating andshowing gratitude, even when
you don't feel like it.
Do not wait to feel likespeaking positively about your
(39:10):
PMDD partner and your PMDDrelationship in order to
actually do it.
And this could be for thepartners that don't have PMDD.
If you're consistently seeingthat your partner is going off
on you and PMDD, if you'reconsistently seeing that your
partner is going off on you, onPMDD, rage and all of those
things, speak what they aredoing, just start speaking about
them like they are in theirfollicular phase and you're
going to train your brain.
(39:30):
And again, this is not a onecycle thing.
This is why I created the PMDDPower Couples group counseling,
membership and community.
So I'm going to train you onhow to do this, and repetition
is key.
You don't just go into the gymone day and you're like I lost
weight, I have muscles.
No, you have to train.
You have to train your PMDDbrain just like you would have
(39:51):
to train any other area of yourlife, you don't make one deposit
into your savings account andbe like I'm rich.
No, it's month after month, dayafter day, making those
decisions that are going to leadto the positive result that you
have.
And I want you to really askyourself is this your person?
Are you with your person?
Then, are you willing to speakabout them as if they're the
(40:13):
person that you desire anddeserve?
Go write a letter Again, bulletpoints.
You can write it out howeveryou want to do it.
Write out the kind of partnerthat you want, the kind of PMDD
partner that you want, whetheryou're the partner that has PMDD
or not.
Write it out.
Write out exactly what youdesire and start speaking and
conditioning your mind to talkabout them as if they are
(40:34):
already that person.
It is exactly what you would dofor a child.
If your child is feelinginsecure in a certain area and
they're saying I'm so this andI'm so that, start speaking
positively.
Start speaking positively aboutthem and say no, you're so
brave, you're so strong, you'reso this, you're speaking life
into your child, speak life intoyour relationship, speak life
into your partner and Iguarantee you that the more that
(40:56):
you speak positively about yourpartner, the more that you're
going to feel positively aboutyour partner and the more that
you're going to see thatpositively show up in your PMDD
relationship.
So until next time, get intothe PMDD Power Couples Group
Counseling Membership.
We're going to go over thiseven more every single Tuesday
at 12 pm Pacific time, 3 pmEastern Standard Time and 8 pm
(41:20):
in the UK.
We got this.
I love you.
Today I want to talk to you about why talk therapy
does not work for specificallyfor premenstrual disorder
relationships, because I knowthat a lot of you have in the
past before you found me or evenafter you found me maybe you've
been to counselors,psychologists, therapists and
(00:22):
you've tried different things tomanage your PMDD symptoms,
specifically towards what'sgoing on in your PMDD
relationship, and I really wantto talk to you about some of the
things that you may have triedin the forms of therapy that
don't work, and I want to tellyou this from experience,
because as a counselor, we getaccess to all of the different
(00:45):
modalities that can work as faras counseling is concerned.
Therapy is concerned and a lotof things are beneficial and
then some things are not.
So I really want to talk to youtoday about some of the things
that are not beneficial abouttalk therapy, because I don't
want you to try something thatis literally going to cause your
PMDD symptoms to be worse.
So earlier in my journey, Iloved talk therapy, because I
(01:06):
don't want you to try somethingthat is literally going to cause
your PMDD symptoms be worse.
So earlier in my journey, Ilove talk therapy for trauma,
not for PMDD, originally when Iwas getting help with a lot of
my childhood trauma.
I actually went to a counselorpsychologist for going through
everything that happened with mychildhood and a lot of times
when I go back to deal with mychildhood trauma I will use talk
(01:27):
therapy because it helps mebring up a lot of the things
that I have blocked out becauseI have a trauma response of
forgetting things and blockingthings out.
I use talk therapy as a way torelive some of those experiences
so I can kind of get to theroot of what is really going on,
and so it is beneficial in someaspects of someone's life.
(01:50):
But when you have premenstrualdisorder and you're really
trying to address your PMDDsymptoms and the way that
they're impacting your PMDDrelationship, talk therapy will
literally make you feel likeyou're reliving that experience
and it is going to cause you togo back off on your partner in
PMVD rage.
You're going to get more angry,you're going to get more
(02:12):
triggered and the individualwho's trying to help you may not
understand why it's not working.
Because by the time a lot of myprivate clients have worked
with me, they've gone to a lotof other individuals and they're
like well, that individualdidn't work, that therapist
didn't work, that counselordidn't work it almost made it
worse, meaning they went into atherapy session, they went into
(02:33):
a couple's therapy session andthey went around and they talked
about everything that happenedwithin their relationship.
And when you get to that pointwhere you're talking about
everything that happens in therelationship, then you get to
the point where you're actuallyreliving that experience.
So what I want to let you knowwhen it comes to talk therapy is
(02:55):
that it does not work a lot oftimes because it's having you go
into the emotions of dealingwith those situations all over
again.
It gets you to that point ofreally reliving it in a way that
you can be triggered again andagain, and again, and you're
actually feeling more angry whenyou come out of a counseling
(03:15):
session.
You're feeling more angry whenyou're coming out of talking
about an issue, and it's notbecause you didn't genuinely
want to get to a solution.
It's not because you didn'tgenuinely want to get to a
solution.
It's not because you didn'tgenuinely want to talk about
what was happening.
It is okay to talk about whatis happening, but when you get
to the point where you'retalking about it in a sense of
(03:38):
you're not coming up with anysolutions.
That's where the damage is done.
The damage is done when you'reconsistently talking about an
issue and there's no solutionthere.
So what happens is you'rereliving those emotions and
you're talking about whathappened in that moment.
You're feeling the emotions ofthat moment and then you're
feeling even more triggered.
A lot of times this is whathappens when you come to me
(03:59):
because you feel like I've triedto talk to my partner about the
issues.
I know the issues that we havein our PMDD relationship.
I know the things that we needto deal with.
I know the things that we needto talk about, but every single
time we talk about them, italmost seems like I'm more mad.
I'm more convinced that we needto break up, and it is because
you are talking about somethingwithout having the tools to
(04:20):
provide a solution.
So I'm just going to go overwhy talk therapy is so damaging,
because I just really, whetheryou work with me or not, I
really don't want you to get itto a point because I know that
you're intentionally going tosomeone to help you.
So I don't want you to ever getto a point where you're going
to someone and it's actuallycausing you to be worse off than
(04:44):
you were before, and so let'sjust talk about when talk
therapy is beneficial.
Talk therapy is beneficial insituations where you have a
block, where you really are notable to talk about what has been
going on in your PMDDrelationship.
You're not able to talk aboutpast experiences, you're not
able to bring it up.
And You're not able to bring itup and you have this kind of
(05:07):
avoidance to it.
Talk therapy will help youuncover it.
So I will say, if you use it ina PMDD relationship, use it as
step one, step one and not endall be all meaning.
There needs to be a step two.
So if anyone that you're workingwith because I work with a lot
of counselors, psychologists andtherapists, with working with
individuals with PMDD and I saynever leave them in that place
(05:30):
where they just talked abouteverything that they've gone
through in their PMDDrelationship and be like, okay,
that's so great that you guystalked about it, and then just
leave them If you don't havePMDD strategic tools to give
them in that moment, they'regoing to feel worse about each
other, they're going to feelworse about the relationship and
they're going to get to a pointwhere they don't want to be in
the relationship it's going toalmost.
(05:52):
Talk therapy will almost makeyou get to a point where it's
more clear about why you don'twant to be with your partner,
because you'll get so clear onall of the things that trigger
you and not have any solutionsand be like that's why we
shouldn't be together.
So what it really does is itfocuses on the present moment
and it doesn't really talk abouta lot of the past experiences.
(06:15):
It talks about how are youfeeling right now, what's going
on with you right now, what areyour thoughts, what are your
emotions, what are your actionsright now?
What caused you to react thatway right now and the reason why
.
That is the antithesis of whatworks in PMDD, because a lot of
the things that happen duringyour luteal phase happen during
PMDD.
Strategically are reactions tothings that have happened in the
(06:37):
past, meaning your partner hassaid and done things in the past
and that is why you are nowreacting in this way.
So with talk therapy, you'rereally in that moment of only
focusing on the present momentand focusing on now and working
on awareness and working on yourexperience right now.
But a lot of what you're goingthrough in your PMDD
relationship has to do with whathappens before, and talk
(06:58):
therapy is one of those thingsthat doesn't like to go back.
It likes to focus on onlywhat's going on right now.
And what are you experiencingin your mind?
What are you experiencing inyour body?
So you have to really thinkabout this.
If you're in your luteal phase,if you are in PMDD, and someone
asks you how are you feeling inyour mind, how are you feeling
in your body right now, andyou're going to be like I'm
(07:21):
freaking, pissed off, I'm upset,I have muscle aches, I have
body aches.
You're going to go down thelist of all of the PMDD symptoms
that you have and it's going tomake you even more pissed off.
And the reason why I know thisis because when I get about day
seven of my luteal phase and Ireally start recognizing how I'm
(07:43):
feeling in my body, how I'mfeeling in my mind and I've used
this talk therapy techniqueit's made me feel even worse.
Because when I'm verbalizinghow horrible I feel, when I'm
verbalizing how much I'mtriggered in my body for no
apparent reason, when I'mverbalizing just the living hell
that I'm living in, it doesn'tmake me feel better to recognize
(08:06):
the state that I'm in.
When you are suffering in yourluteal phase and you start
talking about all of thesymptoms that you have, it
doesn't make you feel better andthis is why I stopped doing
that.
So if you follow me onInstagram DrRose underscore in
love with PMDD I used to vlog myjourney every single day.
I still vlog it, but I used totalk about all of my symptoms
(08:29):
every single day and I thoughtit was a way of being
transparent so that you couldreally understand what I'm going
through and say, hey, likeshe's going through the same
thing that I'm going through, asa way of making you feel seen,
without really recognizing thatthe more I talk about my PMDD
symptoms, the worse I felt abouthaving my PMDD symptoms,
(08:51):
because I wasn't talking to youand saying, oh, I have muscle
tension or I have misophonia, or, oh, I have anxiety or, oh, I
have depression, and then I wastelling you that I had these,
these cures for it or thesetools to use for it.
I was just letting you knowthat I was suffering, and a lot
of times that's what's happeningon a lot of these Facebook
groups and these Reddit groupsthat a lot of my clients have me
(09:13):
go to is you're talking abouthow horrible you feel and
wondering why initially it makesyou feel good because you know
you're kind of like yeah, you'resuffering, I'm suffering too,
and so you're kind of bonding,it's a trauma bond.
It literally is a trauma bond.
Pmdd is traumatic and whenyou're going on these groups and
you're talking about thingsthat are going on in your luteal
(09:35):
phase and how much you'resuffering, how much you're
suffering in your relationship,you're bonding with individuals
based off of the trauma thatyou're experiencing.
So you think it's a healthything because you feel validated
in your emotions without reallyrecognizing you are trauma
bonding with individuals andthat doesn't help either one of
you.
It's almost like a cripplingthing because every single time
(09:55):
you go into PMDD, you want toreach back out to that person
that you're trauma bonded with.
It's like, oh, I'm feelinghorrible today.
Let me reach out to this otherperson that's also feeling
horrible.
So I feel less alone by feelinghorrible.
Well, do either one of you haveany tools or things that you're
doing to feel better?
No, but it's almost like I feelgood being seen and so I'm all
(10:18):
about sharing my journey of howmuch I suffer with PMDD.
I will never deny that I sufferwith premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
I don't care if I'm doing thiswork.
For 50 years I suffered withpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
for over 19 years.
I will never tell you that I gointo my luteal phase and I
don't suffer.
I do suffer the realms in whichI suffer, the highs and lows of
(10:39):
it.
It's different every singlemonth, which I'm sure it is for
you, based off of the externalstresses that you have going on
in your life.
But I've never not suffered andI want to make that very, very
clear and talking about mysuffering has never made me feel
like I'm not suffering anymore.
It's made me feel less aloneand I'm all about community,
(11:02):
which is why I created the PMDDPower Couples Group Counseling
Membership, because I wanted itto be a place one of the only
places, where you're in a groupand you're talking about your
PMDD symptoms and you're talkingabout how it's impacting your
relationship and you're talkingabout what's going on in your
PMDD relationship and you'reactually getting help for it.
(11:24):
This is my vision for thiscommunity is that we are a group
of individuals who aresuffering in PMDD.
We're going through dating,we're going through
relationships, we're goingthrough marriages, we're going
through breakups, we're goingthrough all of these things in
our PMDD and we're getting toolsof what to do about it every
single week.
I was so alone, so, so, so alonein my journey after my breakup
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with my ex and I went through somuch and I know when really
understood how adding PMDD tothe mix of a breakup really
really felt and it was horrible.
And I'm going to admit that itwas really really horrible
because I was isolated a lot ofthe time.
And then when I started to getinto community, like in my condo
(12:08):
I call them my condo mates westarted to go out.
I started to discover my loveof dancing.
I started to discover you knowmore things about being more the
core of who I am, beingextroverted, started loving
myself a lot more extroverted,started loving myself a lot more
, and that's why I had thisphrase of like good vibes only
because there were so manymoments that brought me so much
(12:30):
joy, that took me out of thesuffering of PMDD.
And I wouldn't have had itwithout that community If I
would have stayed locked up inmy condo, not going out, not
going out and I don't even meangoing out to party, going out to
dinners, going out with friendstalking about the things that
were going on.
I didn't talk about things thatwere going on in my breakup with
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my ex-PMD partner in a way tobash him, to shame him, any of
those things.
I only talked to my friendsbecause I wanted to recognize
what I needed to do, movingforward to get better.
So I have this way ofdeveloping tools through talk
therapy.
That's one of the gifts thatGod has given me is that when
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someone starts talking to me ona private session and I do
believe this is a gift, becauseother people have told me this,
even counselors, because theyhave to go back to the textbook
and kind of like, okay, I'mtaking notes and then I'm
researching it and all thethings no, when I'm talking to
someone on a private session andthey're literally talking to me
(13:34):
and telling me everythingthat's going on in their PMDD
relationship, my brain isliterally developing tools that
are specifically customized totheir specific PMDD relationship
.
I don't want to take credit forthis, because I know this is my
God-given gift.
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I pray for it every single day,regardless of what you believe.
I pray for my ability to be soclose to PMDD partners and PMDD
sufferers that I'm able to havethe discernment to understand
what they're going through andprovide them tools to help them
break free from the suffering intheir PMDD relationship.
I pray for that, I work hardfor that.
I stay really close to God in away that I need to be
(14:16):
perceptive, because a lot of thetools that I've developed over
the years it's not based off ofa textbook.
And I've said it once and I sayit again yes, I am a doctor,
but a lot of the things that Ihave learned from helping
individuals who are in PMDDrelationships number one, it
comes from having premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
Number two, it comes fromrelying on God to help me get
(14:44):
through my own suffering, getout of my suffering, in order to
help someone else.
It's a lot to suffer with PMDDand help individuals who have
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
It can be very triggering attimes because I could be in my
follicular days feeling good,not even really suffering with
PMDD symptoms myself, but thenI'm consistently putting myself
(15:07):
in situations where I'm dealingwith PMDD.
So I literally deal with PMDD30 to 31 days out of the month,
whether I'm in pre-MDD orwhether someone else is.
Either I'm recording a podcastepisode on PMDD or I'm with a
private client on PMDD or I'mexperiencing PMDD and I wouldn't
trade that for the world, but Iwant to let you know.
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I'm telling you this because Ireally don't feel like people
understand how bad, how horriblesuffering and PMDD is unless
you've had it.
And for those of you that havesaid that you've healed from it
and you don't have it anymore,of you that have said that
you've healed from it and youdon't have it anymore Okay, I
know that I've done a lot ofhealing, I've used a lot of
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tools I will never tell you Idon't have any PMDD symptoms I
have.
I will tell you that there'vebeen times in my life where my
PMDD symptoms have been lessened, that they've been like a
lighter blow, but I will nevertell you that I've completely
healed from them.
And that's why a lot of timeswhen I have people DM me and
they're like what are thesupplements that you're taking,
or what is the medication thatyou're taking, or what are the
(16:10):
SSRIs that you're taking, orwhat are you doing for your
symptoms, and for me it'sliterally holistically based and
it's my strategic tools that Ihave to develop and it's
literally based off of everysingle thing that I'm going
through because everything elsethis is why I created the PMDD
Power Couples membership too isbecause my PMDD literally
fluctuates based off of what'sgoing on in my life.
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I never have two months thatreally look the same, because my
life really doesn't look thesame and I know that's true for
you.
When I was in my PMDDrelationships, all of them,
everything, was different.
Every single day in my PMDDrelationship things come up.
You know you have kids, youdon't have kids, you have work,
you don't have work, you havefinancial problems.
You have all of these thingsthat come up and it adds to what
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you're going through in PMDDand you need to be able to have
the tools on the spot, which iswhy I created this membership.
That we meet every single weekis because meeting once a month
or meeting once and twice amonth wasn't good enough,
because when something came up,if I didn't have a tool to use,
I was 100% gonna do damage in myPMDD relationship.
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100% gonna do damage.
And what I will tell you themost damage that I've ever done
in my PMDD relationship withusing talk therapy or using a
way of just getting everythingout and venting is talking
negatively about my partnertalking negatively about my
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relationship to otherindividuals and listening to the
words that they said inresponse.
Because a lot of times I'mgoing to be completely honest
PMDD is a very negative,negative, negative thing that
you can have going on in yourmind.
And so if you're sayingnegative things about your
(17:59):
partner and PMDD is sayingnegative things about your
partner, and then you havefriends and family who are
listening to you talk negativelyabout your PMDD partner and
they start talking negative,it's literally going to make you
feel like the only solutionthat you need to have is to
break up with your PMDD partner,because you're going to be
surrounded by negativity.
(18:20):
And I will always tell you thatwhen your friends and family
are talking negatively aboutyour partner because you've been
talking negatively about yourpartner, they're trying to
protect you.
So I've never gotten mad at thefriends that I've had who don't
really understand PMDD andthey've listened to me vent
about it and they're like youneed to get out of there, you
need to break up or you don'tneed to be with this person.
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I've never really faulted themfor that and the reason why I
haven't faulted them for that isbecause I know that it was
coming from a place where theywere trying to protect me
because it looked like mypartner was abusing me.
It looked like they weretreating me horribly and my
friends and family were justbasically telling me you deserve
better than this, you shouldjust get out of this.
And I couldn't blame them.
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Because if someone who I loveand care about came to me and
started talking crap about theirpartner and saying that they've
been abused by them and they'rehorrible and they don't,
they're not sensitive andthey're not supportive to their
PMDD, I would be like, oh mygosh, like that sounds horrible,
you need to get out of there.
Like I wouldn't tell them.
But that's what I would bethinking in my mind.
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And the only reason that Iwouldn't tell them is because
I'm a counselor and I don't tellpeople to break up.
But as a friend, I would feeljustified to be like you know
what.
You deserve better than that,because they love and care about
you and they want you to betreated your best.
But when you have premenstrualdysphoric disorder, it adds a
different realm to whatever itis that you're going through in
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your PMDD relationship and thatneeds to be addressed.
If you just address it in asense of you not having PMDD and
you're just literallyaddressing it as oh, my partner
just treats me like crap, or oh,my partner's not being
sensitive to my need, or oh, mypartner is this, oh, my partner
is that.
And you're literally justlabeling off all of the
behaviors that are making yousuffer in your PMDD symptoms and
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making your PMDD worse.
Then, of course, the counselor,psychologist I've had private
clients tell me, like all of thecounselors that I've went to
have told me I need to get outof this situation because it's
so abusive, and I've said, okay,I can understand that.
Have they addressed any of theissues that specifically have to
do with PMDD?
And they're like well, no, theyrecognize that I have PMDD, but
(20:30):
they've not given me any tools.
They just said that I don'tneed to be in this relationship
and I deserve better.
And so what that's basicallydoing is confirming the bias.
You're basically invitingpeople into your life that are
going to be on the side of PMDD,that are telling you to break
up with your partner, and sowhat I want to let you know as I
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go through these tools with youtoday is talk.
Therapy is not bad.
I just truly believe it's badfor premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
It is not bad when I go throughmy childhood trauma.
It's not bad when I go throughbad when I go through my
childhood trauma.
It's not bad when I go through.
If I've ever had PTSD with meetmyself or any of my other
(21:11):
private clients in my traumapractice, it's not bad.
I use talk therapy.
I just 100% don't use it byitself in PMDD.
Now, if you're completelyavoidant and you're in denial of
having premenstrual disorder,then I'll have you use it in
order to uncover what's reallygoing on with you and then I
will move in what I call andwhat I practice, which is
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rewiring your PMDD brain, whichis I'm understanding the impact
that PMDD is having on yourcognitive brain and the
intrusive thoughts and howyou're really thinking and how
convincing it is.
I'm understanding that and thenI'm giving you the tools as to
what you can do about it so thatyou don't feel the need to
break up with your partner.
But I want to really talk toyou.
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If you're still on board, ifyou're still on board with talk
therapy and feeling like this isworking for me and talking
about my suffering is sobeneficial for me, I want you to
just understand that, theimpact that it's having on your
PMDD symptoms and your PMDDrelationship, that you may not
(22:16):
recognize, because a lot oftimes when I even and I'm
telling you this, it's no shame,it's no blame I did it.
I did it as, up until I think,up until last year I was still
and we're in 2025.
Up until last year, I was stilland we're in 2025, up until
last year, I was still like dayone of PMDD and day two of PMDD,
and then I would go into all ofmy symptoms to just make sure
that I was talking about everysingle symptom that I had and I
(22:41):
wondered why I felt worse andthen it made me suffer through a
lot of my PMDD partner'smorning routine.
Honestly, because now wordshave power, the words that you
speak, you give life to thethings that you say.
So that's the first thing thatI want you to really recognize.
Cognitively, your subconsciousmind doesn't know when you're
saying something and it's trueand when it's not true.
(23:02):
So even if you're talkingreally negatively and you'll be
like, oh, I feel horrible, Ifeel like crap, or my partner is
a piece of crap, or blah, blah,blah, even if you're just
saying it to vent, yourcognitive brain is really
downloading every single thingthat you're saying about your
partner.
And so if you're saying thatyou're suffering because of your
partner and because of yourPMDD relationship, the best
thing that your brain is goingto do is to make you feel like
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you need to get out of thisrelationship.
You need to get out of thisscenario, and it's going to make
you feel justified in doing sobecause it's like why wouldn't
you leave?
You feel horrible about them,and then you're wondering why
you're trying to stay with yourpartner but it's not working.
It's not working because you'veliterally programmed your brain
to think negatively about yourpartner by the words that you
say.
(23:45):
And so one of the things thathas really worked for me in
previous relationships with PMDDpartners is really getting to
the point of understanding thatwhat I say about my partner is
going to magnify, it's going tocome to fruition, and what I
mean by that is I'm speakinglife to anything that I'm saying
about my partner.
So if I'm saying that mypartner is abusive, guess what?
(24:07):
If my partner becomes verballyabusive, why would I be
surprised?
I'm literally speaking lifeinto that.
Or if I say my partner's soselfish and then my partner
starts acting selfish.
Why would I be surprised if I'mliterally at this point of
speaking about them and thenbeing surprised that what I'm
speaking I'm literallymanifesting in my life?
(24:27):
So if you want your partner toshow up differently in your life
, you need to start speakingdifferently about them before
you even see the result of it.
And what I mean by that isyou're gonna speak what you seek
until you see what you said.
That is the mantra that Iliterally use all the time Speak
what you seek, meaning speakwhat kind of behavior you seek
(24:48):
out of your partner.
Speak what kind of partner thatyou want to have.
If you want to have asupportive PMDD partner, then
just look at all of the waysthat they are supportive.
Am I saying that your partneris supportive in all ways?
Absolutely not.
That's why I created the course.
My Partner has PMDD, now what?
But what you speak, you magnify, what you put the focus on.
You magnify what you focus onyou find.
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So if you want your partner tobe more supportive, start
looking at the ways that theyare supportive and then start
talking to them and magnifyingthose specific ways.
So in past relationships, whatI've really admired about a lot
of my previous PMDD partners istheir routines Like.
(25:31):
If they have a morning routine,evening routine, I don't care
what time of the day is, but ifthey're taking care of
themselves.
And as far as a self-carementality, I always believe that
if you want your partner to besupportive, they need to have
something that helps themregulate their emotions, what
they're going through, let go ofsome steam.
I don't care if you playbadminton, if you play pool, if
(25:53):
you play golf, if you work out,if you play basketball, if you
ski, I don't care what the thingis.
But when a partner orindividual that I'm dating is
participating in an activitythat allows them to get out of
their head, get into their body,let off steam just is healthy
for them, makes them feel goodabout themselves.
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I always encourage that in myPMDD partners or my PMDD
companions or people that I'mdating.
So I'm always magnifying what Iwant to see more of.
So that's something that youneed to begin to do.
Magnifying what I want to seemore of.
So that's something that youneed to begin to do.
Think about the things that youdo like about your PMVD partner
and start to magnify what it isthat they do that you do like.
Stop talking about so much ofwhat the things that they're
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doing that you don't like andstart thinking about what you do
like about your partner.
Cognitively.
You're going to be programmingyour brain and you're going to
come on board and they're goingto be like, wow, we do like this
person, we do like this partner.
Because what happens is when youallow PMDD to magnify itself
and all you're doing is havingPMDD talk negatively about your
(26:58):
partner in your head, and thenyou're talking negatively.
Your friends and family aretalking negatively.
These forums that you go on aretalking negatively, and then
all of you are on board withtalking negatively.
These forums that you go on aretalking negatively, and then
all of you are on board withtalking negatively.
And then you wonder why you'resuffering in your PMDD
relationship, because all it isis negativity.
All it is is negativity.
And so what happens is withtalk therapy, and why it's so
damaging is because it focuseson overemphasizing, on
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verbalization.
For couples dealing with PMDD,where they have the hormonal
fluctuations, it may be a pureapproach that's focusing on the
immediate need, like I need thisto change now.
I need this to change now.
So you're overemphasizing,complaining, complaining about
your partner talking negativelyabout your partner.
(27:41):
If you're going into talktherapy, they're going to be
like you're thinking negativelyabout your partner.
Tell me more so.
The more you speak negativelyabout your partner, the more
it's going to be downloaded inyour brain that this is a
horrible person.
How many times have you told astory to you know, your friends
or family about a fight thatyou've had with your PMDD
partner and you felt even moredisgusted with your partner,
(28:07):
felt even more disgusted withyour partner.
You felt even more likely tobreak up because you talked
about it and it's kind of likewhy am I even in this situation,
Like you thought it was a goodthing by finally getting it out?
But you actually feel morenegatively about your partner
because you put yourself in thesituation of magnifying the
negative instead of recognizingthe positive.
And so, also with talk therapy,it doesn't talk about how
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strong PMDD is on the brain, howmuch PMDD is really impacting a
lot of those intrusive thoughts, and by intrusive I mean
negative.
Talk therapy isn't recognizingthat a lot of the things that
you're speaking, a lot of thethings that are going on in your
brain, are underlying PMDDissues are underlying things
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that PMDD is digging up thingsin the past that you maybe
already talked about, maybealready dealt with.
And if you don't understand thetrick of PMDD, which is to
bring up old things, like ifthere's nothing presently going
on in your PMDD relationship,here is a very keen tool that
you need to understand Ifthere's nothing negative going
on in your PMDD relationship,pmdd will find something
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negative in the past to focus on.
This is what I want you torealize.
That is, consistently searchingfor the negative.
So that means you will startarguing about things that have
come up in the past and you'llbe like your partner will be
like I thought we dealt withthis or I thought we talked
about this.
No, no, no.
Pmdd will bring it back up.
Pmdd will 100% bring it back upbecause it'll get you to the
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point of you know reallyimportant thinking about all of
the reasons of why you need tobreak up with your PMDD partner.
That is the main goal.
There's a reason why hundredsand hundreds of PMDD partners
and hundreds and hundreds ofPMDD sufferers from all over the
world are thinking the samething, like that's not a
(29:52):
coincidence that we're allthinking about breaking up, no
matter where we are, becausethat's the goal of PMDD?
The goal of PMDD is toconsistently, you know, talk
about things that are negative.
So much to where I always sayPMDD can't take you out, so it's
going to wear you out in yourPMDD relationship.
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It can't literally get rid ofyou, but it's going to make you
get rid of your partner bymaking you continuously think
about all of the reasons why youshouldn't be with your PMDD
partner.
Get rid of you, but it's goingto make you get rid of your
partner by making youcontinuously think about all of
the reasons why you shouldn't bewith your PMDD partner.
So this is what I want to letyou know about talk therapy.
Talk therapy is not bad, but itshould not strategically only
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be used primarily in your PMDDrelationship without giving you
strategic tools.
Because when you don't havetools for a problem and then you
just see the problem and yousee the problem more clearly,
then what's going to happen isyou're going to think that the
best solution that you can haveis to get rid of your PMDD
partner.
You're literally going to thinkthat my relationship with
(30:55):
myself, my relationship with mylife, it would be so much more
peaceful if I was just single,and I've seen so many people
literally quarantine themselvesto being single because they
have premenstrual dysphoricdisorder, because they do not
think that they could be in aPMDD relationship and have a
partner because of all of thenegative things that they've
just been talking about againand again and again.
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Because, cognitively, yourbrain wants to protect you from
things that they've just beentalking about again and again,
and again.
Because, cognitively, yourbrain wants to protect you from
things that cause you to suffer.
And guess what caused you tosuffer the most in PMDD, pmdd
relationships.
So guess what the cure is goingto be Break up with your
partner, and the way that youcould combat the way that talk
therapy has been damaging yourrelationship is to begin to
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speak what you want to see.
So I used to do this so oftenwhere I really had to think
about what are the things that Ilove about my partner, and I
wrote myself a letter everysingle time I was in my
follicular phase.
Because, of course, when you'rein your follicular phase, you
see your partner so much morepositively and you're like, wow,
I really see why I'm with thisperson and I would have to
(32:00):
literally write it out and Iwould read that letter out loud
every single day that I was inPMDD.
So I used to be in premenstrualdisorder for 14 days, and so
for every day for those 14 days,I would read out this letter
that was talking about howamazing my partner was.
Was my partner presentlyshowing me how amazing he was?
Absolutely not.
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A lot of times you're waitingfor your partner to be amazing
in order for you to speakamazing things about them, but
if you really think back on yourlife, you wouldn't be with this
person if they hadn't shown upto you in a way that you desire.
You wouldn't choose to commityourself to being with this
person unless at one point intheir life, they showed you that
(32:42):
they were deserving of yourpresence, unless at one point,
they showed you that they weredeserving of this relationship.
So what I want to let you knowis you need to hone in on that
when you are in your folliculardays, I want you to write it out
.
Write it out, write it out.
This is one of the tools that Iuse with my private clients is
write out the positive thingsthat are very clear to you when
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you're in your follicular days,and for me I used to be like, oh
my gosh, my partner's sogenerous and my partner's so
communicative and my partner'sso this Things that maybe even
trigger you in your luteal phase, you'll begin to appreciate in
your follicular phase, becauseyou're not suffering with PMDD
symptoms.
It's very, very clear to you,but it's not going to be very,
(33:26):
very clear to you until you getto the point where you're
literally writing it out andyou're verbalizing it.
So words have power, meaningtalk therapy.
You can use a tool from that ina positive way where, instead
of talking negatively about yourpartner, you're choosing to
talk positively about yourpartner and say those positive
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things.
And here's what I want to say,because I know that there's
going to be some resistance tothis and the resistance to doing
this tool is 100% going to beyour ego and it's going to be
like oh so you want me to justdeny the reality of my situation
and live in this land of toxicpositivity where I'm just
pretending that everything'sgreat when it's really not.
No, but what is the alternative?
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For me to tell you to continueto talk crap about your partner,
to continue to talk crap aboutyour relationship, so much to
the fact that you're not evengoing to want to be with them.
What is the alternative?
So if you're saying, dr Rose,this is not going to work for me
because that's what the ego isgoing to say, specifically if
you're in PMDD, I don't want totalk positively about my partner
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.
When they're consistentlytalking negative, it almost
feeds the fuel even more,because I've seen this so many
times on private sessions, whereyou're wanting to tell me more
negative things about yourpartner to prove your point.
No, no, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatwe've gone through.
No, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatthey did.
No, no, no, no.
But you don't understand whatthey said.
And so you consistently speakmore and more negative things to
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try to convince other peopleand yourself that you shouldn't
be with this person.
But then what happens?
You continuously be with thisperson, so there's a level of
resistance.
If you're consistently talkingnegative and you're talking
about reasons why you shouldn'tbe with the person and then you
stay with them, you're going tobe suffering in the PMDD
relationship because you'vecaused yourself to suffer by
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speaking something intoexistence I don't want to be
with this person, I deservebetter.
Maybe I'm not compatible withthem.
So you're saying all thesereasons that you want to break
up and then you're staying withthem and you're wondering why
you're suffering.
You're going against the grain.
Here's what I want to let youknow If you have no intention of
really deep down and you'llknow this deep down if you have
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no intention of really breakingup with your partner and you
really know that you genuinelywant to be with them, then zip
it up.
When it comes to speakingnegatively about them,
specifically to other people,are you going to have thoughts
that are negative?
Absolutely, absolutely.
You're going to have thoughts.
I'm not telling you to onlythink positively about your
partner.
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I'm saying don't give life tothe negativity by speaking on
them.
Do not consistently speaknegatively and think that you're
going to feel positively aboutyour partner.
If you want to feel positivelyabout your partner in your
relationship, then speakpositively about your partner in
the relationship.
It's a very simple formula howdo you want to feel about your
(36:20):
partner?
How do you want to feel aboutyour relationship If you're in
your luteal phase and you can'tfind anything positive about
your partner?
That's why I said make thatlist, write that letter.
I don't care if it's bulletpoints, I don't care if it's
words, I don't care how youverbalize it.
But you need to be speakingpositively about your partner,
because what this is going to dois going to counter the
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negativity that is alreadyplaying in your PMDD brain.
Your PMDD brain is alreadygoing to be thinking negatively
and it's going to be giving younegative thoughts.
It's going to have youhyper-focused on negative things
about your partner.
If you don't fight back byspeaking back to your mind and I
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don't even mean speaking youdon't even have to say these
things specifically to yourpartner, you just have to say
them to yourself.
So we were getting to thispoint of I shouldn't be with my
partner.
I shouldn't be with my partner.
When you feel yourself thatyou're in the loop of speaking
negatively about your PMDpartner and relationship, you
stop it, you shut it down.
It's kind of like if someonecame up to you and you have a
child or a nephew or a niece ora sister or a brother that you
(37:23):
love and adore, and someone cameup to you and they started
talking crap about that person,that little person that you love
and adore, you would be like no, no, no, no, no.
You would immediately start todefend them by saying all the
positive things about them.
Why are you not doing that foryour partner?
Why are you not doing that foryour relationship?
(37:44):
If someone is speakingnegatively about your
relationship and you're like,yeah, I know I deserve better
than this, all you're doing isto contributing to the situation
and again, if you're not goingto leave, it's going to cause
you to suffer even more.
So, if you know that you'recommitted to being in this
relationship, you know thatyou're with your person, this is
your person, regardless ofwhether you're suffering in PMDD
(38:05):
or not.
You need to get to the pointwhere you're training your brain
to not just listen to everysingle thing that PMDD is
telling you, but you're trainingyour brain to think positively
about your PMDD partner, even ifyour PMDD brain is always going
to be speaking negatively aboutyour partner.
You need to be speakinglanguage that is going to
counter that.
That's all I'm saying.
(38:25):
I understand that.
I don't want to see the resultof that negativity in my life,
in my relationship.
If you're consistently tellingyour partner you're not a
supportive PMDD partner, guesswhat?
When you're not a supportivePMDD partner, guess what?
When they're not a supportivePMDD partner, why are you
surprised?
You're literally telling themthat they're not a supportive
(38:47):
PMDD partner, instead of saying,oh babe, thank you for doing
this, you're so amazing becauseyou did this.
Find something that they'redoing that you actually enjoy
and guess what?
They'll do more of it when youstart affirming them and
recognizing and appreciating andshowing gratitude, even when
you don't feel like it.
Do not wait to feel likespeaking positively about your
(39:10):
PMDD partner and your PMDDrelationship in order to
actually do it.
And this could be for thepartners that don't have PMDD.
If you're consistently seeingthat your partner is going off
on you and PMDD, if you'reconsistently seeing that your
partner is going off on you, onPMDD, rage and all of those
things, speak what they aredoing, just start speaking about
them like they are in theirfollicular phase and you're
going to train your brain.
(39:30):
And again, this is not a onecycle thing.
This is why I created the PMDDPower Couples group counseling,
membership and community.
So I'm going to train you onhow to do this, and repetition
is key.
You don't just go into the gymone day and you're like I lost
weight, I have muscles.
No, you have to train.
You have to train your PMDDbrain just like you would have
(39:51):
to train any other area of yourlife, you don't make one deposit
into your savings account andbe like I'm rich.
No, it's month after month, dayafter day, making those
decisions that are going to leadto the positive result that you
have.
And I want you to really askyourself is this your person?
Are you with your person?
Then, are you willing to speakabout them as if they're the
(40:13):
person that you desire anddeserve?
Go write a letter Again, bulletpoints.
You can write it out howeveryou want to do it.
Write out the kind of partnerthat you want, the kind of PMDD
partner that you want, whetheryou're the partner that has PMDD
or not.
Write it out.
Write out exactly what youdesire and start speaking and
conditioning your mind to talkabout them as if they are
(40:34):
already that person.
It is exactly what you would dofor a child.
If your child is feelinginsecure in a certain area and
they're saying I'm so this andI'm so that, start speaking
positively.
Start speaking positively aboutthem and say no, you're so
brave, you're so strong, you'reso this, you're speaking life
into your child, speak life intoyour relationship, speak life
into your partner and Iguarantee you that the more that
(40:56):
you speak positively about yourpartner, the more that you're
going to feel positively aboutyour partner and the more that
you're going to see thatpositively show up in your PMDD
relationship.
So until next time, get intothe PMDD Power Couples Group
Counseling Membership.
We're going to go over thiseven more every single Tuesday
at 12 pm Pacific time, 3 pmEastern Standard Time and 8 pm
(41:20):
in the UK.
We got this.
I love you.
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