April 1, 2025 • 64 mins
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Ever wondered why traditional therapy hasn't helped your PMDD relationship? You're not alone. While talk therapy works for many issues, PMDD relationships require a completely different approach – one that provides strategic tools, not just a space to vent about problems.
During PMDD Awareness Month, I'm tackling one of the most common frustrations I hear from clients: "We tried therapy but nothing changed." The truth is that most therapists, even excellent ones, simply don't understand the unique challenges of premenstrual dysphoric disorder. They treat PMDD relationship problems like any other relationship issue, missing the cyclical nature of symptoms and the specific tools needed to navigate them.
Group counseling designed specifically for PMDD relationships offers what traditional therapy can't. When you join others navigating the same challenges, something powerful happens – you realize you're not alone, you learn from others' experiences, and you gain access to tools created specifically for PMDD's unique patterns. Instead of just talking about your problems, you receive practical strategies to stop the PMDD breakup cycle, communicate effectively during the luteal phase, and transform how you and your partner respond to symptoms.
The most transformative aspect of group work is breaking the isolation. Many people hide the true impact of PMDD from friends and family for fear of judgment, creating a lonely struggle. In a dedicated PMDD group, you no longer have to explain what PMDD is or justify how it affects you – everyone already gets it. This shared understanding creates a foundation for real healing and growth.
Ready to transform your approach to PMDD? Join us for the PMDD Power Couples Group Counseling Membership starting April 8th. For PMDD Awareness Month, I'm offering a special rate of just $49 (regularly $149) to make this life-changing support accessible to more couples. Don't let another luteal phase pass without the tools you need!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Today is PMDD Awareness Month, so I was
committed to doing a surpriseepisode on the In Love with PMDD
podcast because I want to beable to provide you with a lot
of things during this month,mainly because when I released
the episode that was called youknow how bad talk therapy is for
(00:26):
your PMDD relationship I got somany comments, so many emails
just telling me how they hadbeen in talk therapy and it
hadn't really worked well forthem and they were wanting to
know.
Okay, so if talk therapy is notthe thing to do, what is it
that we can do?
(00:46):
In this episode, I really wantto provide you reasons why group
counseling is one of theeffective solutions for PMDD
relationships versus talktherapy.
And again, I actually do talktherapy for my trauma patients.
Therapy for my trauma patients.
(01:06):
I'm from patients who aresuffering with childhood trauma
or patients who are sufferingwith relationship trauma, things
like that, things that havenothing to do with premenstrual
dysphoric disorder.
I do do those, and some of theI was listening to the feedback
because I do it every singleweek which led me into creating
the PMDD Powers group counselingmembership is that I noticed
how healing being in a group andtalking about what it is that
(01:31):
you're dealing with in your PMDDrelationship and actually
getting tools and hearing theintricate details of things that
are going on in other PMDDrelationships kind of makes you
feel like you have hope for yourPMDD relationship.
Not only does it make you feelseen, it makes you feel like you
know you're not the only one,and I know that when I have a
(01:53):
new client, a lot of timesthat's the premise is that, oh
my gosh, I don't know if you'regoing to understand what we're
going through in our PMDDrelationship.
And I will always tell you I'veheard it all.
I've heard the verbal abuse,I've heard the physical abuse.
I've heard it all.
And it's not a way of blamingand shaming.
It's a way of having you have asafe place to talk about the
(02:15):
real details that are going onin your PMDD relationship, in a
place with people that aredealing with the same things.
A lot of times I get emails andI get comments after the
podcast and they say is thiscommon, is this common that this
situation happened?
Is this common that thishappened?
And I always tell them yes,it's common.
If you have premenstrualdysphoric disorder, if you're in
(02:37):
a relationship with someone whohas premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
A lot of the things that aregoing on in your PMDD
relationship are very common,but you just don't know it and
so because you think it's weird,because you think it's too much
, because you think it's like,oh my gosh, this is abusive, I
need to get out of here, I needto break up.
Sometimes, just hearing thatother people are struggling with
(03:00):
the same things that you'restruggling with is enough for
you to feel like, okay, I canmake this work, I can use the
tools, I can stay in this PMDDrelationship, and so that's what
I do for my private clients.
A lot of times is I'm answeringthese questions.
But if you've ever gone totraditional therapy, if you ever
gone to talk therapy and itisn't helping your PMDD
(03:23):
relationship, I want you to know, first and foremost, you are
not alone.
So many couples find that talktherapy just isn't enough.
Just talking about the thingsthat are going on in their
relationship during the lutealphase, during PMDD, it's not
enough to just get it out,because PMDD relationships they
need more than just talking.
(03:43):
Just talking about thesuffering that you're going
through, just talking about thefights and arguments that you're
going through, it's not enough.
They need real solutions, theyneed real tools and this is why
I created the PMDD PartnersGroup Counseling Membership,
because there's so many thingsthat are strategically designed
only for premenstrual dysphoricdisorder.
(04:06):
Meaning PMDD rage is a symptom,pmdd breakups is a symptom, pmdd
moods up and down, pmddattachment styles those are
things that are just symptoms ofhaving premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
Like it's not a realm of you,you know, doing something
(04:26):
specifically different.
It is every single time thatyou go into your luteal phase.
You need to be prepared forthese things.
You need to be prepared foryour partner's attachment style
to change, meaning they maybecome more distant and they may
become closer and they maybecome clingy, and these are
things that you need tools for,because it's not a bad thing
(04:48):
until you don't have the toolsto deal with it.
That's what I will say.
The reason why a lot of thesesymptoms are becoming to be a
thing is like I can't deal withthis.
When a partner decides to breakup, whether it's a partner that
has PMDD or they don't, it'sbecause they don't have the
tools to deal with it.
Partner that has PMDD or theydon't, it's because they don't
have the tools to deal with itand they feel like they do not
have the capacity to deal withthe amount of suffering that
(05:09):
they're presently dealing withand the only option becomes to
break up.
And so many couples who try togo to therapy they don't see
lasting changes because you'rejust talking about how much
you're suffering, which is whatI talked about in the last
episode when I was going intohow talk therapy is not just the
(05:31):
thing that you do when you havepremenstrual disc work disorder
and then, all of a sudden, yoursymptoms are better.
So what I want you to do andwhat I want you to understand
and the reason why I created thePMDD Power Couples Group
Counseling Membership is becausethese are the ways that are
going to make your PMDD symptomsless.
(05:53):
They're going to make them feellike I can do this.
They're going to restore hopein your PMDD relationship, which
is one of the common themesthat I say, that my private
clients say when they get off ofa session they're like okay, I
have hope that this can work.
They come in with no hope.
They're like listen, I am on mylast leg.
I have tried everything,nothing works.
(06:15):
But after the session and afterusing your tools, I truly
believe that maybe this can work.
It's restoring hope that it'snot just like you're with the
wrong PMDD partner.
It's not that you're notcompatible, it's that you
probably genuinely don't havethe tools to deal with what's
(06:36):
going on in your PMDDrelationship.
And so the first reason why thePMDD Power Couples membership
may be good for you is becauseyou learn from other PMDD Power
Couples membership may be goodfor you is because you learn
from other PMDD couples.
So, just so you know, I'm atraumatologist, which means that
I have a whole special teamoutside of PMDD that deals with
(06:59):
trauma, and I've been doingthese eight-week trauma groups
for the past.
I think it's almost a year nowthat I've been doing them.
Eight week trauma groups forthe past.
I think it's almost a year nowthat I've been doing them and
they've been so beneficial andI've had new people come in the
groups.
It's eight weeks at a time andI really I remember when the
first round I opened it up toindividuals that have PMDD and I
opened up the group becausePMDD is traumatic.
(07:19):
So whether you have PMDD or not, like there's trauma involved,
you have PMDD or not, likethere's trauma involved.
So with the group counselingthat I do for trauma, it is
every eight weeks and then Ihave new people sign up at
additional every eight weeks orsome of them even continue.
I'm going into like my fourthor fifth round and I'm seeing
the same people because you'restill getting so much out of it.
(07:41):
So the first thing that I willsay that you get out of a group
counseling, group therapy, isyou learn from other PMDD
couples, not just the therapist.
I can tell you all of thethings, I can tell you all of
the tools, but if you're nothearing specific scenarios that
mirror what you're going through, then it may not be beneficial.
(08:04):
So in therapy it's just me, youand, like your partner, and so
we're going through things.
But in group counseling youhear from real couples that are
navigating PMDD, that have gonethrough the steps and they've
come out on the other sideThey've not broken up.
There's kind of in this realm ofbeing like, wow, I think I can
(08:26):
make it, not just because ofwhere you're at, but you think
you can make it because of wherethe other couple is at, because
maybe they've gone through acouple of rounds of my group
counseling membership andthey're like you know what,
we've used the tools and we'vedone it.
Rinse and repeat, because allof the tools that I provide for
you are things that you can doagain and again and again.
(08:47):
I never give you like one-timetools where it's like it only
works through this month of PMDD.
No, if I give you a tool, writeit down, because when you go
through the same issue, you canuse it again and again and again
.
And that's a lot of times whypeople tend to get my one-time
like I'm just going to get onesession with you and I'm going
(09:08):
to talk about all of the issuesthat I have in my PMDD
relationship and you're going togive me tools for this specific
issue and then I'm going to usethem in my PMDD relationship
and what happens is they use itagain and again and again.
So it's kind of rinse andrepeat.
That's what I call it.
And so the next reason whyjoining a group counseling
(09:32):
membership may be the thing thatyou really, really need is
because it's focused on PMDD,specific relationship issues.
It's not focused on issues thatyou have with your partner
because you're not seeing eye toeye or you have different
attachment styles, like all ofthese things.
Many therapists, counselors,psychologists, psychotherapists
they don't understand PMDD.
(09:54):
They misdiagnose you with allof these other things which
takes you on this trail road oflike understanding what's really
going on and, honestly, it'sgiving bad advice.
And the reason why I say it'sbad advice it's because it's
taking you off track towards thereal issue.
The real issue is premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
(10:16):
If it's only during the lutealphase and I always say, it's
because of PMDD.
So you can't go to someone whodoesn't specialize in PMDD and
think that you're going to getbetter in your PMDD.
So you can't go to someone whodoesn't specialize in PMDD and
think that you're going to getbetter in your PMDD relationship
If they don't know what PMDD is, if they're just learning what
PMDD is, if they don't have PMDD, then they're just providing
(10:36):
you tools that are going to work.
I guarantee you they will workin your follicular phase.
If you're saying that you haveissues in your follicular phase
that are not related to PMDD,meaning they don't pour over
into your good days your quoteunquote, good days in your
follicular phase then yes,absolutely.
You may have just a generalissue with your partner that has
(10:59):
nothing to do with PMDD, but ifyou know that every single time
you go in your luteal phase,the root of the issue is PMDD,
then you need to be incounseling, in therapy, with
someone who specializes in PMDD,not just a general therapist.
You know, there's a reason why,when we go to the doctor and
(11:21):
I've done this plenty of timesbecause I had a herniated disc
in my back right and I had itlast April April of 2023.
I had to go to a doctor whospecialized in physical therapy
and specialized in my specificinjury a general practitioner.
(11:41):
They weren't going to know whatto do because I was having pain
like in, you know, my lowerback and my L5, like they were
going to, they weren't going toknow the intricacies that
happened.
And so when I really got intothat realm of really choosing a
practitioner that dealt with thespecific injury that I had,
(12:05):
then I was able to understandokay, like I know that I have a
herniated disc and this wasreally hard for me.
It was really hard for mebecause I couldn't go to a
regular physical therapist andthey really understand what's
going on.
I needed to go to someone whoknew what it was like to treat
someone who had a herniated disc.
And it's the same thing thathappens when you have PMDD you
can to go to someone who knewwhat it was like to treat
someone who had a herniated disc, and it's the same thing that
(12:26):
happens when you have PMDD.
You can't go to a generalist.
If you ever go to get help andyou go to look down the list,
there are a lot of doctors thatare generalists.
It means I deal with everything,and what I mean by I deal with
everything it's not that youspecialize in everything, it's
just that you know a little bitof everything.
I know a little bit of this, alittle bit of that.
(12:48):
When it comes to premenstrualdysphoric disorder, you need to
do a deep dive.
You need to know, especiallywhat's going on in my luteal
phase.
You need to go on a counselingsession, a therapy session, a
psychotherapist session, agynecologist session and ask me
(13:11):
where I am in my luteal phase,in my menstruation phase.
I've had so many privateclients come to me and say I
went to a doctor that didn'teven ask me what stage of my
menstrual cycle, that I was onwhen I was coming to them for
things that were going on in mymenstrual cycle, and it's kind
of like, wait a minute.
I need you to know that this isan important aspect of my
transformation, of my healingand if you're not even asking me
(13:34):
those questions, you're goingto give me a misdiagnosis.
And what I mean by misdiagnosisis you're going to a lot of
times with PMDD.
Is you're going to a lot oftimes with PMDD?
You're like, oh, you're bipolar, oh, you have PMS.
And what happened is becausemany therapists, psychologists,
(13:56):
psychotherapists don'tunderstand PMDD.
It causes you to have morefrustration with getting help
and I get that and I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry and I wish thatyou didn't have to go through
that scenario where you're goingto some.
You're finally because I knowwhat it feels like to build up
the courage to go to someone andsay I need help.
(14:17):
When you're going to someonewhen you have PMDD, when you
have premenstrual dysphoricdisorder or your partner has
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand you're premenstrual
dysphoric disorder and you'resaying I need help, and then
you're going to them and they'renot helping you.
It makes you feel like no one'sgonna understand me, no one's
gonna get it.
I shouldn't do this, like maybeI should just retreat.
(14:39):
And I'm so sorry that you'rehaving that scenario because I
feel like it really discouragesindividuals from feeling like
they can get help for their PMDDrelationship and I want you to
know that, like when you come tome, there's a lot of things
that are going on in PMDD whereyou don't have to describe your
(15:01):
symptoms to me, like you don'thave to tell me what's going on
with your PMDD.
In a sense of, like I want youto understand how bad this is,
because I am a psychologist whohas premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
I get it, I totally get it, andthat's the benefit of being in
the PMDD Power Couples Group.
(15:22):
Counseling Membership is becauseyou don't have to spend all of
this time like, hey, this iswhat PMDD is and this is what
you need to do, because a lot oftimes you don't want to go to
these things.
Because you spend so much timeexplaining to your counselors,
to your therapists, to yourpsychologist what PMDD is and
(15:46):
then you feel like, oh my gosh,like I know I need to get help,
but I feel exhausted.
I haven't even gotten into therealms of like talking about
what's going on with me becauseI've been so busy telling them
what PMDD is.
So in the, in the course oflike PMDD awareness month, I
want you to start getting helpwith someone that knows what
(16:09):
PMDD is.
That is my biggest prompt giftto you is go with someone who
already knows what PMDD is.
If you are spending money toeducate someone else on what
PMDD is, you're wasting yourtime.
I have had premenstrualdysphoric disorder for over 19
(16:32):
years and a lot of that has beenfiguring out what works, what
doesn't work and getting likeproblem solved and solutions and
all of these things.
And that takes years, years andyears and years.
It doesn't come overnight.
So what you're getting whenyou're going into this group
counseling membership is yearsand years and years of
(16:54):
experience with someone who haspremenstrual disorder.
It is not someone who haslooked at it in a textbook.
And I will always say and Iwill confidently say this, and
the reason why I willconfidently say this is because
when I was getting mydissertation to get my doctorate
, I had to interview multiplepsychologists, psychotherapists,
(17:16):
gynecologists, therapists thatare specializing in premenstrual
dysphoric disorder andunderstanding their
understanding of PMDD.
And I'm not saying that theyweren't effective and I'm not
saying that they didn't have agood effort in trying to
understand it, but I will alwaysstand by.
(17:38):
In order to effectively treatpremenstrual dysphoric disorder,
you have to have had it at somepoint in your life.
Now, if you are in menopauseand you have completely like
you're not in PMDD anymore, butat some point you had
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
Like I get it Because, like I'mgoing to go into menopause
(17:59):
someday.
That doesn't mean that I don'tknow what PMDD is about.
But what I'm saying is, ifyou've never experienced it in
your body, if you've neverexperienced it, most importantly
, in your mind, in your brain,pmdd affects your brain more
than anything I can deal.
I have a high tolerance forpain.
(18:19):
If I have to experience a lotof physical pain that I wouldn't
even be doing what I'm doing,because I'm like, oh, if I just
feel uncomfortable for a coupleof days out of the month, that's
fine.
But when PMDD starts to talk tome literally talk to me in my
mind when it starts to give methoughts that are not my own
(18:40):
thoughts, that's when I'm like,wait a minute.
Like, how do I combat this?
How do I deal with this?
Because dealing with somethingthat is intrusively that's why
they call them intrusivethoughts it is intruding like a
robbery.
It's coming to the door of yourbrain and it's telling you
things that you don't want tothink.
(19:00):
It's telling you things to dothat you don't want to do.
And if you don't have the toolsto combat that, if you don't
have the tools to tell it whatto do and it actually work,
you're going to do the thingsthat PMDD tells you to do and I
will be the first ones to tellyou that you're going to be
looking like a fool.
(19:21):
You are going to be lookingcrazy because PMDD loves to make
you look crazy and then judgeyou for looking crazy.
That is the biggest crux of likePMDD.
I'm like you're telling me youhave these intrusive thoughts
that are like go off on yourpartner, say this, do this.
I can't believe they did thisbreakup with them, all of these
(19:43):
things.
And then when I do them and Igo off on PMDD range, then PMDD
is like, oh my gosh, I can'tbelieve you did that.
Like who would be with someonethat did that?
And I'm like, oh my God, you'renot my friend.
I can't believe I listened toyou.
I can't believe I fell for thePMDD trap and now I'm in this
situation where it's horrible.
(20:05):
It is absolutely horriblebecause you fall for the trap of
PMDD and it really messes withyou cognitively.
And I think the reason why thePMDD power couples is so
impactful is because when youhave those thoughts, you can
pull yourself back fromimmediately reacting to the
(20:26):
thoughts that are going on inyour brain when you're dealing
with premenstrual dysphoricdisorder and you can have
somewhere to process them withsomeone that understands PMDD.
So you can say, hey, I washaving this thought in PMDD like
what should I do about it?
What are the best tools?
What is the best way for me tohandle this?
You don't have to gospecifically to your partner.
(20:46):
This is what I want you tounderstand.
Your partner is not supposed tobe equipped with handling all
of the PMDD intrusive thoughts.
They don't know all of the PMDDrage or all of the PMDD
symptoms.
They're not equipped with it.
And so, by you calling them notbeing a supportive PMDD partner
because they don't have thetools, that took me years,
(21:09):
partner, because they don't havethe tools, that took me years.
I will tell you, mydissertation took me five and a
half years of researching PMDD,of getting a doctorate in PMDD.
I have had PMDD for over 19years.
I would never expect someonethat I meet, that I fall in love
with, to automaticallyunderstand how to be a
supportive PMDD partner withoutme specifically telling them,
(21:30):
without me specifically saying.
This is what goes on during therounds of the luteal phase and
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
This is what works.
This is what doesn't work.
I would never go into arelationship expecting an
individual who has never dealtwith PMDD to be able to handle
everything that happens duringthe luteal phase, which is
(21:51):
approximately seven to 10 to 14days, depending on the
individual.
It's so specific.
So for all of you partners thatare thinking like I need to
break up with them.
I need to be with a differentPMDD partner because they don't
specifically understandpremenstrual dysphoric disorder.
It's not their fault.
You can be an amazing person,you could be the right person
(22:15):
for them.
And just because they don'tunderstand what's going on in
your luteal phase, what's goingon in PMDD, you can decide I'm
not going to be with this personand you're not even getting
into the realms of reallyunderstanding what's happening
during your luteal phase andyou're not even getting into the
realms of really understandingwhat's happening during your
luteal phase.
And I think it's so importantto really get to that point of
understanding that you have PMDDor your partner.
(22:38):
If you're listening and yourpartner has PMDD, this is
something that is specific, thatis going to impact your
relationship.
That is the biggest thing thatI really want you to understand.
And it's not a bad thing.
It doesn't cause like a badgeon you to say I'm a bad person
because I have premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
It's an approximately one in 20women and what I always say on
(23:01):
my podcast is it's not yourfault that you have PMDD, but it
is your responsibility tomanage.
You cannot put that on yourpartners to say I have PMDD, you
know how I am.
If you want to love me, if youwant to be with me, then you
need to just be in a place whereyou're accepting verbal and
physical abuse.
(23:21):
No, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, if you havepremenstrual dysphoric disorder
, I'm saying what I'm saying is,if you have premenstrual
dysphoric disorder, recognizethat and be able to have the
tools to work with your partnerand say you know what, when I'm
dating, when I'm in arelationship, now I know that
it's impacting certain phaseswhen I get into my luteal phase,
hey, I just want to let youknow now that I know the
(23:44):
triggers, now that I know like,hey, you trigger me in this way
when I'm in my luteal phase,because a lot of times it's not
when you're in your follicularphase.
It's not when you're feelinggood and you're happy and blah,
blah, blah.
Your partner is not going toimpact you.
You're probably not going tonotice.
When you go into your lutealphase, you may say, oh my gosh,
like this is the part where mypartner is really impacting me.
(24:07):
I really want to talk to youabout this.
Be open, let your partner becurious and give them the
opportunity to learn how tonavigate the ways that PMDD
specifically impacts your PMDDrelationship, and not think that
you shouldn't be with theperson.
A lot of times you're throwingaway the right person because
(24:29):
you're not willing to use thetools, because you're not
willing to put forth the effort,because you're in that place
where you're saying like, oh,they triggered me, so I guess I
shouldn't be with them.
Do you know how manyrelationships and I deal with
relationships outside of PMDDthat, like their partner,
triggers them?
Just because your partnertriggers you doesn't mean that
(24:49):
you're not supposed to be withthem.
It doesn't mean that they'rethe wrong person.
It doesn't mean that you needto switch partners If your
partner is triggering you.
Be curious instead ofcriticizing them.
That is the biggest thing Ifyou stop being critical and
start being more like curious.
Okay, why does this person youknow trigger me in this phase?
(25:11):
Are they doing it maliciously?
One of the things that I alwaystell my private clients is yes,
they did all the things.
Tell me, vent to me, tell meall the things.
This is when talk therapy works.
Get it all out with me and thenI'll ask you did they do it
maliciously?
Do you genuinely believe thatthey did it maliciously?
If you're telling me, well, no,I don't think that they did it
(25:33):
maliciously, then why are youmad at them?
If your partner is triggeringyou, you never told them how
they're triggering you andyou're reacting to them without
really bringing it to theirattention and giving them a
chance.
Give them a chance to repairthe trigger that you're feeling,
without approaching them as ifthey did it maliciously.
(25:53):
Did they intentionally try tohurt you?
Are they triggering somechildhood trauma, which is a lot
of times what happens in PNDDrelationships?
They don't know that, so you'reso focused on telling them the
partner's bad, the partner's bad, the partner's bad, the
partner's bad.
They don't know what's going on.
You're not willing, and I'llalways ask them when they come
(26:14):
on private sessions.
I'm like hey, did you talk toyour partner about this and
they're like, oh well, no, I'mjust saying no, no, no.
You don't need to be just sayingto me before you've been just
saying to your partner, sayingto me before you've been just
saying to your partner, and ifyou feel like they're in the
realm of not being emotionallyintelligent, where they're going
to get defensive, where they'regoing to get critical, when
(26:35):
they're going to get you knowall of these things and you're
feeling like there's this fearwith that, those are tools that
can be taught.
So what I want you to know,first and foremost, is, when you
are dealing with a partner whohas PMDD, they are going to have
symptoms.
When they have symptoms, it isthe realm of.
What are you going to do aboutit?
(26:56):
Are you going to support themwith their symptoms?
Are you going to be curious?
Are you going to be critical?
That's what I want to say andthat's a lot of what we work on
in the PMDD power.
Couples like group we're sayinglike every single week, because
I remember being in PMDDrelationships where we went
through things every single week, every single day really
(27:25):
understand that a lot of times,what you're going through is
really a realm of, like, theydon't understand what you're
going through and you're feelingthis way and they're feeling
this way and you're not reallytalking to each other.
You're not talking to eachother in a realm that you're
really understanding.
(27:45):
And so I want to ask you, like,the issues that you have with
your PMD relationship, theissues that you have with your
PMD partner right now, do theyknow about them?
That's going to be the firstlike question Do they really
understand what's going on?
So what's going to happen inthis group membership is you're
going to really get to the pointwhere you're going to have
(28:06):
problem solving tools, and whatI mean by that is, you know,
talk therapy focuses onexploring emotions, not
providing solutions.
It gets you to a place whereyou're talking about the things
that are going on in yourrelationship, which I'm all for,
I am all for getting it all out, I'm all for talking about it.
(28:29):
But if we're not getting to theplace where we're providing
solutions and we're providingtools, then what's going to
happen is you're going to gothrough talk therapy and you're
going to be left in that placeof feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm
going through all this and I'mleft with this wound and then
I'm just walking away and you'regoing to end up with another
fight.
You're going to end up withanother fight with your PMDD
(28:53):
partner right after goingthrough the talk therapy,
because you're going to havetalked about everything and
you're not going to havesolutions, you're not going to
have anything to do about it andyou're going to be fighting and
arguing and it's actually goingto make things worse.
But with group counseling, it'sgonna give you step-by-step
tools to stop the monthly PMDDbreakups, to stop the fights, to
(29:14):
stop the disconnection.
I'm literally gonna go throughwhen you come on every single
week and I'm literally gonna saywhat is specifically going on
in your PMDD relationship, howcan we address it and what are
the tools that you can do thisweek.
So when I talk about the PMDDPower Couples membership, it is
every single week.
(29:34):
I'm talking about what's goingon with your PMDD relationship,
what's going on, and then whatare the PMDD specific tools that
I can provide for you.
And what it is is you getongoing support when you have a
session, a group session, that'sjust when you have a session, a
group session, that's just whenyou have talk therapy.
It's just one session and thenyou're waiting for the next week
and the biggest thing is thatso much happens within that week
(29:58):
because I get the emails andI'm like, oh my gosh, this
happened, this happened, thishappened, this happened, this
happened.
And with group counseling, withthe PMDD power couples, you
have weekly sessions, so you'renot waiting for once a month and
you have recordings.
And the benefit of recordingsis so good because you can
listen to tools that I've givenyou on the recording during our
(30:20):
sessions and you can get therecording and you can say, okay,
let's go back to the tool thatDr Rose gave us.
Like, it's almost like if youtry to tell your partner what to
do, if you literally try totell them, they're going to get
really defensive and be like, ohso I guess I'm the bad guy, I
guess I need to do this.
I guess I need to do that whenit's coming from me, when it's
(30:42):
coming from Dr Rose, yourpartner is less defensive, but
they end up using the tools, andso that's the way that it gets
you out of the hot seat.
Honestly, because you're notthe one which, if you haven't
joined my course, my partner hasPMDD.
Now what the biggest mistakethat PMDD partners make is you
feel like you need to fix yourPMDD partner.
(31:04):
You feel like you need to fixthem.
Oh, they're going through this,I need to fix them.
Oh, they're going through this,I need to fix them.
Oh, they're going through this.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because when it's coming fromyou and you're their partner,
it's a problem, because then itfeels like you're picking on
them, it feels like you'recriticizing them and then they
get defensive.
And so the next thing thathappens in this membership is
(31:25):
your partner learns how tosupport you without resentment.
If you're the one nagging yourpartner and saying you need to
do this and you need to do that,and reminding them again and
again and again of what theyneed to do, your partner is
going to feel blamed and shamedand feeling like they're the bad
guy.
Because in therapy, inone-on-one therapy, it's very
(31:46):
obvious, like if the counseloris saying, hey, you're the one
that needs to fix this, then youbecome the problem.
So in talk therapy you becomethe problem.
It's either one or the other.
You're the problem or you'rethe problem.
In group counseling, it's justteaching partners real strategic
tools for premenstrualdysphoric disorder to support
(32:08):
you without resentment, becauseI'm not basing it off of one
specific person.
If I listen to you and I knowthat you need tools in this
specific area and I give youtools in this specific area, I'm
not aiming it at youspecifically.
I'm saying in the group as awhole, meaning you all need to
learn this tool.
And when you feel like it's agroup effort, when you feel like
(32:31):
you all need to use this tool,then it's a way of you saying,
oh my gosh, like yeah, this is aplace where, like, I can really
get tools and it doesn't makemy partner say, see, you're the
one that was wrong.
See, you should have done thisand you should have done that
wrong.
See, you should have done thisand you should have done that.
And then the next thing thathappens when you join is you see
(32:52):
what works for other PMDDcouples.
What I really would love andwhat I really would like is for
a lot of my prior clients tojoin the PMDD power couples,
because they will be able totell you what tools that I've
given them that has reallyworked for their PMDD
relationship.
Because in therapy, you know,partners may feel like, oh my
(33:16):
gosh, it's one perspective, it'smy perspective.
I'm telling you what to do?
I'm the counselor, I'm tellingyou what to do, but in the group
counseling membership, like youget a chance to understand,
like hey, dr Rose told me thisand it actually works.
And I have so many tools thatI've given to my private clients
(33:37):
and this is why I wanted toextend this to you that I have
worked and it's literally Itaught them the tool.
They've used it for one monthand then we've revisited it and
they've used it again and againand again 've revisited it and
they've used it again and again,and again.
Here's the thing that I reallywant you to understand your
luteal phase is going to happenevery single month.
Your luteal phase is going tohappen every single month.
(33:58):
The tools that I give you, ifyou're having that relationship
again, it's going to help you.
So you can learn it one timeand then use it again and again
and again.
And that's when you get therealm of like, the kind of like,
the success stories you cancome back on every single week
and be like oh my gosh, dr Rose,this worked for me and this is
(34:18):
the way that I've honestlygotten to the point where I've
recognized what works forpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
and what does not work.
This is not based off of sometextbook.
This is based off of dealingwith actual PMDD couples and
it's like, hey, this worked forme, hey, this didn't work for me
.
And then the next thing thathappens is, when you join the
PMDD power couples, is you breakthe isolation of PMDD?
(34:41):
One of the biggest successtestimonials that I always get
is like oh my gosh, I felt seen,I felt heard, I felt validated,
because a lot of you feel alone.
And I remember feeling alone,because I remember feeling like
nobody gets it.
If I talk to my friends thathave never, don't even know what
PMDD is, or I talk to friendsand family, they're going to
(35:03):
just tell me to break up.
They're going to be like thisis an abusive relationship, you
need to get the heck up out ofthere.
And they didn't reallyunderstand that I wanted to be
with this person.
I just needed the tools as towhat I could do about it, and it
wasn't about me reaching outand talking about it in a realm
of wanting to break up.
I'm reaching out and I'mtalking about it because I want
(35:23):
someone to give me hope that Ican genuinely be with a person
that I love and adore, eventhough it's triggering me in my
luteal phase, even though it'striggering me in PMD, because
many PMD couples feel alone andmisunderstood.
And the reason why I know thisis because they're told me this.
My private clients tell me thisand I know a lot of you are
(35:44):
telling me and I don't take thisfor granted that you tell me
things that you don't even tell,because you feel like if you
told your close family theinstances that have happened,
they would absolutely look atthem differently and they would
tell you to leave them.
And I remember being in thatplace where a lot of things were
(36:06):
happening to me in past PMDDrelationships and I was like, oh
my gosh, this is supertraumatic.
If I tell my sisters about this, if I tell family members or
friends that really care aboutme, they're going to tell me to
leave this person.
And I don't know that.
I'm really ready to leave thisperson.
But I also know that this is alot and this is not what I
(36:27):
deserve and I don't like thisand I really want to tell
somebody about this.
So I was in this place where Ifelt stuck.
I had no one to talk to because, guess what, you go out with
these people.
You have family outings withthem, you have friendship
outings with them and you don'twant.
My biggest thing is I'm soprotective of any partner that I
have.
I'm so protective of anypartner that I have so much to
(36:52):
the fact that any argument, anyfight that we were having I
wasn't wanting to tell my closefriends and family about it
because I don't want to go to afamily outing and then you're
looking at my partner.
Remember that they yelled at me, remembering that they called
me a piece of crap, rememberingthat they left me somewhere.
I don't want you to hear thetraumatic things that have
happened in my PMDD relationshipand no longer like and love my
(37:15):
partner.
If I genuinely like and love mypartner, if I know that I like
and love them and I really wantto be with them, but I'm just
frustrated with how things are.
In my luteal phase.
I'm not going to tell you, andI remember being like that.
I'm like I can't, I can't, Ican't.
I felt like it was a sense ofbetrayal, like I can't tell
people what's really going on inmy PMDD relationship because
(37:38):
they would look at themdifferently.
And so when I got to this point, I felt so isolated and alone.
Even my closest friends.
When I finally decided to breakup with current partners for
reasons that were not PMDD, justlike they weren't a good fit,
and I started to tell them allof the things that happened,
they were like when did thathappen?
I talk to things that happened.
They were like when did thathappen?
Like I talk to you every day.
(37:58):
They were like when did thathappen in your relationship?
Like I don't remember youtelling me this.
And I was like I didn't tellyou.
I didn't tell you what wasgoing on in my PMDD relationship
, because I didn't want you tojudge me, I didn't want you to
hate my partner, I didn't wantyou to not like them, I didn't
want you to not accept them, Ididn't want you to like add to
the thoughts that were going onin my premenstrual dysphoric
(38:19):
disorder, in my luteal phase,that were telling me to break up
.
Because, honestly, that's whatwill happen You'll get into PMDD
and PMDD will be like break up,break up, break up, break up,
break up.
And then you go to tell yourfriends and family about things
that are happening and they'rejust gonna add to that.
And so a lot of times I feltisolated.
I was like, in order for me tobe a good partner, like I can't
(38:42):
talk about the issues that I'mreally having with my partner,
because I know that I wanna bewith them, I know that I left
them, but I also know that thissituation was like messed up and
you kind of wanna get thatvalidation Like am I crazy?
Because, like when you get intoPMDD, you already have brain
fog, you have like intrusivethoughts, you have all of these
things and you really just wannahave a place.
I have so many of my privateclients that are just like Dr
(39:04):
Rose am I crazy for thinkingthis?
Or should I feel this way?
Or how should I feel?
And just needing to have aplace that you can just take
those intrusive thoughts anddump them on and get real
realistic tools and like, okay,this is what's really going on
and that's what I do for myprivate clients, and so with
this group counseling, I reallywant to be able to provide you
(39:26):
with that so that you don't haveto try to take it to people
that don't have the tools.
I felt bad for trying to getpeople that I love and adore to
understand premenstrual disorder.
That's not their job.
It's like if someone came to meand I wasn't a doctor and
they'd be like, oh my gosh, likeI have ADHD, I have ADD and I
was just a regular person, likeI would be, like I would want to
(39:49):
support them and I would justgive them like my basic advice.
I would literally be like Idon't know what to tell you.
I don't want you to feel likeyou don't have any place to go
to talk about the things thatare going on when you're in your
luteal phase for two weeks outof the month.
I don't want you to feel like Ineed to vent to someone because
if you're in a relationship,they're just going to be like oh
(40:11):
, break up with them, that'll bethe solution to your problem.
Guess what?
If you break up with yourpartner, you're still going to
be experiencing premenstrualdysphoric disorder symptoms.
I just want to put that outthere because a lot of times you
think PMDD.
You know breakups are thesolution to you having symptoms.
You had PMDD before yourpartner.
(40:31):
If you break up with yourpartner, you're still going to
have PMDD.
So when you deal with a groupcounseling aspect, it connects
you with people that truly getit.
You don't have to spend hoursand hours and hours on
explaining to them whatpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
is and sending them articles andtrying to get them to
understand.
I don't want you to feel likeyou have to exhaust yourself
(40:54):
just to the point of gettinghelp, and so the next reason to
join the PMDD Power Couplesmembership is you get the tools
to stop the PMDD breakups forgood.
I get to the root of why do yougo to the breakup option and
I've been there before, so it'snot a realm of blaming and
shaming.
I just want to figure out whatis your specific way so that I
(41:14):
can customize the tools to you.
Do you feel?
For me it was.
I felt offended.
I always felt offended, andwhenever I felt offended for
hurtful words, I would be like Idon't deserve this.
I need to get out of here or Ican't live my whole life being
treated like this, like I wouldcatastrophize and be like, oh my
gosh, my partner's treating melike this.
I'm always going to feel likethis.
(41:35):
That's why I need to get out ofhere.
So when you're dealing withtraditional therapy talk therapy
it discusses the breakups butit doesn't prevent them, and
that's the biggest frustration.
It's like we're talking aboutwhy they broke up with me, why
they said they want to break upwith me.
But it doesn't give you anytools to prevent them from
happening again.
(41:55):
So essentially a lot of you whoare doing this PMDD monthly
breakups it's not that you don'twant to be in a relationship.
You just don't want to be in arelationship that causes you
that much stress and overwhelm.
So I've had so many clientsthat, like, they break up with
their partner and then the nextmonth they're on a dating app to
get with somebody else.
So it's not that you don't wantto be in a relationship.
You do want to be in arelationship.
(42:17):
You don't want to be alone, youjust don't want the stress.
But you're not understandingthat any partner that you are
with that while you havepremenstrual disorder, you're
going to have to use PMDDstrategic tools in order to
combat that.
Like you can't.
You can't run from it, youcan't get away from that and the
PMDD Power Couples teaches youexact strategies to stop the
(42:40):
impulsive breakups.
When you get to the realm ofstopping the impulsive breakups,
you get to the point where it'slike okay, immediately when I'm
in PMDD and when I'm in therealm of wanting to break up
with my partner like I haveanother tool to use.
But if you don't have anothertool to use, you're going to be
on default mode, and defaultmode is breakup, breakup,
(43:00):
breakup, breakup, breakup.
It's like I'm too stressed, I'mtoo overwhelmed.
I deserve better than this.
I shouldn't be with my partner.
I'm going to break up.
You feel like you don't havethe endurance to handle what's
going on during the luteal phaseand what's pouring over from
the luteal phase into otheraspects of your relationship,
because you don't have thespecific tools.
Not because you don't want tobe with the partner, not because
(43:23):
you don't want to be with thisperson, but because you're in
the realm of not knowing thetools, of what you specifically
need to do in order to stay inthis specific relationship, and
a lot of it is very strategic ina realm of what are you
specifically going through inyour relationship.
So the difference between mypodcast, which is the In Love
With PMDD podcast, and the PMDDPower Couples is the PMDD Power
(43:47):
Couples is going to have youtalk to me and give me your
specific scenarios of what iscausing the PMDD fights during
the luteal phase, what arecausing the fights during other
phases in your cycle, and I'mgoing to give you the specific
PMDD tools to do something aboutit, to turn that situation
around.
And so a lot of times you'rebreaking up with partners not
(44:10):
because you don't want to bewith them, because you don't
have the tools.
And if you had the tools, itwill really give you the
confidence to say you know what,I can deal with this, you know
what I'm going through my lutealphase.
Instead of having so muchanxiety towards going into the
luteal phase, instead of havingso much anxiety and to, oh my
(44:30):
gosh, I'm about to experiencePNDD again, you feel powerful.
That's why I called it the PNDDPower Couples Membership.
Because you feel powerful.
That's why I called it the PMDDPower Couples Membership.
Because you feel powerful insaying I have the tools to do
something about this.
I'm not going to be thishelpless person that's just
going to be subject to PMDDmonthly breakups for the rest of
my life.
And I feel like you are missingthat because a lot of times
(44:54):
when I go on my private sessions, that's what they say I feel
hopeful, I feel powerful, I feellike I can do this and I feel
like you know, if you listen tothe end of every podcast episode
, I always say like you got this.
And the reason why I say yougot this is because I want you
to feel powerful in that PMDDdoesn't have the power over you,
(45:15):
in that PMDD doesn't have thepower over you.
You actually have the powerover PMDD once you have the
strategic tools to what's goingon in your PMDD relationship.
But it really is meunderstanding what is
specifically going on in yourPMDD relationship, like I can
record a billion podcasts on allof these topics that I and I do
(45:35):
this.
I really do do my topics on myPMDD podcast, on this podcast,
with things that I deal withwith my private clients, but
with this group counselingmembership, what you're able to
do is to say you know what?
This is what I'm going through,dr Rose, what are the tools
that you have?
And I guarantee you you cantell me in that moment what's
(45:55):
going on and you can describethe fight that you have had.
That's the biggest thing.
I don't make you pinpoint it.
I don't make you describe it ina way of like you're like oh,
I'm going to give you the tools.
I say what happened in yourPMDD relationship, describe to
me what happened with the fight,describe to me when you got
(46:16):
triggered and I'm able to juststrategically give you the tools
of saying, okay, now this iswhat you can do about it, and my
tools are never like, oh, it'sjust so horrible, you need to
break up, I guarantee you.
I've heard it all.
I've heard the verbal abuse.
I've heard the physical abuse.
I've heard all of the thingsthat your partner has said below
(46:36):
the belt.
All of the things.
This is a safe place to talk tome about what is really going
on with you, because I know howlonely, how isolating it can
feel to be.
Like I don't want to talk toanyone about what's really going
on.
Like I had a client earliertoday that has been married over
22 years and they're really inthat place where they're like I
(46:57):
can never tell my family aboutwhat happened today.
Like I can never tell themabout what's going on because
it's so horrible.
They would be like take thekids and leave you know all
these things and break up thewhole marriage.
This is this disorder isbreaking up families that could
be together, that could staytogether, and it's a realm of.
This is what it's strategictools.
(47:20):
So what I was telling youearlier on the other episode and
then I got so many comments onwas talk therapy.
Talk therapy is not needed forpremenstrual dysphoric disorder.
I will say this once.
I'll say it again, because ifyou're just talking about what's
going on, without any solutions, without any tools, without any
(47:41):
way, you'll get off the sessionfeeling like you want to break
up even more, because when youtalk about something,
cognitively you'll begin toexperience the emotions that
happen in that fight.
So all you're doing is sayingthey said this and they said
that and they did this, andyou're talking crap on your
partner and it's making you feelmore angry.
(48:01):
It's making you feel not seen,not heard, not validated, which
are the three things that arekey in getting you to use one of
my most impactful tools, whichis the JBL method.
Just be loving.
I will never tell you not tocommunicate something to your
partner.
I will always tell you to usemy JBL method Whatever it is
(48:22):
that you wanna say and if you'remy private client, you know
this If you wanna say somethingto your partner, that's really,
really hard.
Use my JBL method.
Just be loving.
And I will say if you say it ina way where you're just being
loving, it's going to bereceived in a way where you're
going to get results, versus youbeing defensive, versus you
(48:42):
being critical, versus youfeeling like you need to clap
back, where you need to fightwith the pride and the ego,
where you don't have theemotional intelligence to just
drop all of that and talk aboutwhat's really going on.
Yes, this happened, but what isreally going on?
How are you really feeling?
Not the fact that they, whereyou're coming on a session,
(49:03):
you're saying, dr Rose, theysaid this and this and this and
you're blaming and shaming andcriticizing.
But how did it make you feel?
How did it make you feel?
And not just in a way of like Ifelt sad or I felt this.
No, how did you want to feel?
How were you expecting to feel?
Because a lot of times it'sexpectations and disappointment.
You expected your partner to dosomething when you were in your
(49:25):
luteal phase and you weredisappointed.
And then you start to criticizethem because of that
disappointment.
And I always go back to basedoff of your expectations, did
your partner know exactly whatto do?
Yeah, they should know.
They should know.
I don't deal in the land ofshoulds.
I don't deal with clearcommunication.
This is why, a lot of times, onevery private session that I
(49:48):
have, I say bring your journalbecause I want the partner to
write down.
When your partner is sayingwhat it is that they want you to
do, like, write it down.
Say, strategically, I want mypartner to do this, I want my
partners to do that, not just oh, they saw me tired, they should
know that I wanted them to takeout the trash.
And now you're pissed off andnow you're going off in PMDD
(50:10):
rage no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no.
I want you to say did you writeit down?
In a way where you're saying,strategically, I needed my
partner to do this.
I wrote it down.
I told them to do this becauseI know that this is what I was
needing in my luteal phase andthey didn't do it, then we can
address that.
But if you're not clear on yourcommunication, then it's really
(50:32):
hard to hold your partneraccountable for things that you
genuinely didn't clearlycommunicate.
I always say in like you haveto inspect what you expect.
If you expect it from yourpartner, inspect the way that
you communicated it to them.
Go back, go back to thebeginning and say did I
(50:53):
literally tell them clearinstructions or did I just be
fatigued, be irritated, be this,and they just didn't do it.
And then PMDD I guarantee youPMDD is going to take that
scenario and run with it.
This is what I want you tounderstand about premenstrual
dysphoric disorder.
Anytime you're slipping, pmddis going to cause chaos and
(51:15):
confusion.
You're slipping PMDD is goingto cause chaos and confusion.
Chaos and confusion are the twotools that PMDD uses to mess
with your brain.
And then, if it messes withyour brain, it messes with your
emotions, it messes with yourbehaviors.
And this is how you get to thePMDD fights.
And when you fall for the trapof PMDD, it's because you start
doing things in PMDD and you'relike, oh my gosh, like I can't
(51:37):
believe they did that.
I can't believe they did that.
And you start going down thisrabbit hole and it's like wait a
minute, did I ever actually didI ever actually tell my partner
that I wanted them to do that?
Or did I just expect them to doit?
And the reason why I say tojoin the PMDD Power Couples
membership is because I will askyou those questions If you
bring it to me.
(51:57):
First, I will use my tool,which is called rewiring your
PMDD brain.
Pmdd is like going this way andI know you can't see me, but if
you go on YouTube or TikTok youcan see me it's like PMDD is
like negative, negative,negative, negative, negative,
forward.
When I say, wait a minute, whenI'm rewiring your PMDD brain,
(52:23):
it's going back in the day forthose of you who know about
cassette tapes and you're likegoing backwards and you're
rewinding to the beginning.
You're getting to the root ofwhat happened and you're like
did you do this?
And it's very discerning.
You need to be listening tosomeone who knows about PMDD and
knows the tricks and the insand outs that it tries to use.
This is why my methods are soimpactful and they're so
(52:43):
effective is because when you'retelling me a scenario that is
happening, a fight that ishappening with your PMDD partner
, I'm able to say, uh-uh, I knowwhere PMDD started to trick you
Because you're going this way.
And then PMDD is trick, trickyou Because you're going this
way.
And then PMDD is tricking youand it's like, oh, why did he do
this and why did he do?
As soon as PMDD drops anegative thought into your
(53:06):
subconscious, into your brain,cognitively, you have what's
called the reticular activatingsystem.
And when you have the reticularactivating system in your brain
.
Cognitively, you're going tostart searching for what it is
that you believe is going on.
So if you believe that yourpartner offended you, everything
that they say and do will beheld against them in the court
(53:27):
of your brain.
In premenstrual dysphoricdisorder, in your luteal phase,
you will start pinpointing thenegative things that your
partner is saying, even ifthey're not negative.
You're kind of distorting themin a way of saying like, oh,
that sounds negative becauseyou're trying to get it to feed
your reticular activating system.
And this is what I teach youwhen you're in the PMDD Power
(53:49):
Couples membership.
Is that what you're telling me?
I'm kind of reforming it, I'mrewiring your PMDD brain and
giving it back to you and saying, but what about this?
Could it have been this?
Let's explore this Because,honestly, if you accept a
different reality from what yourPMDD partner is telling you or
(54:10):
what the partner who issuffering with PMDD is telling
you, you're going to have adifferent reaction.
But if you're immediately justgoing towards what PMDD is
telling you, you're gonna have adifferent reaction.
But if you're immediately justgoing towards what PMDD is
telling you, you're gonna beit's gonna be negative and
you're gonna feel like you needto break up and you're gonna
feel like you can't handle thisand you're gonna feel like, oh,
I guess I shouldn't be with them, I guess we're not compatible.
And what I always tell you PMDDhas no new tricks.
(54:33):
It's going to tell you thatyou're not compatible.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is not supportive.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is maliciously
trying to trigger you.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner doesn't care.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is not showing
enough effort.
It's going to tell you thatyou're doing all the work and
they're doing nothing.
It's going to tell you all ofthese things and then, most
(54:53):
importantly, this is the partwhere you get to the breakup.
It's going to be like and thisis what your life is going to be
like forever.
So you're going to start tocatastrophize and feel like, oh
my gosh, if I'm dealing withthis right now and I'm suffering
, I'm going to be suffering forthe rest of my life and so I
just need to get out of here.
And this is where the PMDDmonthly breakups come in.
So what I want you to gain fromall of this from me just giving
(55:16):
you the ins and outs of whygroup counseling can be better
than talk therapy is better thantalk therapy for PMDD
relationships is.
I will always, first andforemost, tell you that
one-on-one will give you thefastest results.
It will give you the fastestresults and whatever is going on
(55:38):
in your PMDD relationship, if Ican talk to you on a 90 minute
session which is why I have mymonthly ones and I have my
one-offs that you can get and Ihave my pyramid sessions, which
are the most popular, where Ihave one session with you as a
partner that suffers with PMDD,one session with a partner who
doesn't have PMDD to reallyunderstand what you're both
(56:00):
going through, and then I have ajoint session together.
So when we have the pyramid, itis a realm of you.
Don't have to worry about whatyou're saying and that your
partner is going to hear it andthey're going to be triggered.
You don't have to worry aboutwhat your partner is saying and
that they're going to betriggered.
And then I give you the toolsthat are going to be based off
of the two sessions that I hadwith you.
(56:20):
I'm like, based off of this,these are the tools that I have
with you.
Let's strategically come upwith an agreement between the
both of you that is going tohelp you and that's my pyramid
session, which is the mostpopular.
But I know some of you are likeDr Rose, I can't afford the
pyramid session, all of thesethings.
So I am eliminating that bysaying join the PMDD power
(56:44):
couples.
We are gonna be starting Aprilthe 8th, which is next Tuesday.
It's gonna be 12 pm PacificStandard Time.
I give all of the other times.
If you just Google what is 12pm Pacific Standard Time, it's
gonna be for 90 minutes, whichis literally a value of $349.
(57:05):
And what I'm giving to you forthe month of April, because it's
PMDD Awareness Month, is $49.
You're literally getting $300off for this month of April.
If you do not take advantage ofthis, I don't know what to tell
you it's only going to be forthree weeks in the month of
(57:26):
April and then it goes back tothe normal price of $149, which
is honestly a steal for what itis that you're getting out of,
really getting a chance to getinto counseling, which a lot of
you are feeling like.
You know I need to go tocounseling.
I know I need to go tocounseling Every month in PMDD
is going to be the same untilyou do something about it.
(57:48):
It's like Groundhog's Day, likethe issues that you have.
It's like putting a rock inyour backpack.
And I've said this before andI've said this again if you're
my private client, you know that, like every single time that
you're triggered, it's likeadding a rock to your backpack
and then you're going into yourluteal phase with all of these
rocks in your backpack and thenyou're wondering why you're
feeling heavy, you're wonderingwhy you're feeling frustrated.
(58:09):
And this is for the partnerthat has premenstrual disorder
and the partner that doesn't.
You know I specialize inpartners Behind me.
My dissertation was writtenstrategically for partners.
So even if you are one, ifyou're like hey, my partner's
not ready to go on counselingsessions, but I am, because I
need to be able to get the tools, I only need one of you for you
(58:30):
to be able to implement thetools.
So if you and that's the thing,it really is a two for one,
like if one of you join, you canboth be on the session together
.
So it's like a two for one.
And it's every Tuesday.
Every Tuesday, starting onApril 8th at 12 PM Pacific,
standard time for 90 minutes Ifyou can only do an hour.
(58:51):
I tried to do it like lunchbreak for people.
I now have clients in over 60countries, so I'm trying to be
very cognizant.
Once you are part of themembership, you will get a copy
of the recording of the sessionthat you can listen to at a
later date, but it is going tobe an opportunity for you to
customize the PMDD issues thatyou have and get the tools that
(59:13):
you need for your PMDDrelationship.
So if this is something thatyou know that you need, we're
taking cost out of it, we'retaking timeframe out of it.
We're just saying, if you'relistening to this podcast and
you know that you need it, likeyou have issues in your PMDD
relationship, you want to breakfree of the cycle that stress
and overwhelm and frustrationand nagging and all of these
(59:34):
things it's causing like youfeel like your partner's just
not getting it, you feel likeyou're not getting it, you're
not seeing eye to eye then thisis something that you need to
join, and no better time to jointhan the month of April, which
is PMDD Awareness Month, will bejust pouring into you during
this month.
It really impacts.
You know, I have premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
(59:55):
I'm currently on day three ofPMDD and I've been super
irritable and having to use mytools.
So I'm I'm a doctor thatactually uses my own tools, but
I will tell you that withoutthese tools, I don't know where
I would be and I don't know whoI would be or where I would be
(01:00:17):
or who I would be with.
And now I'm in this.
I'm in a really good, I'm in areally good place.
I'm in a really good place asfar as relationships are
concerned and it's because ofthe work that I've done and I'm
I'm happy about that.
I just want you to be there.
I want you to be in the placewhere, when PMDD comes if you
can get anything from this foryou and your partner because I
(01:00:40):
know a lot of partners listen aswell I don't want you to have
anxiety when it comes to theluteal phase.
My biggest thing is I want youto stop walking on eggshells in
your PMDD relationship.
That is like my biggest goaloutside of stopping the monthly
PMDD breakups.
I don't want either one of youto feel like you need to walk on
(01:01:01):
eggshells.
So I will see you and you'll beable to talk to me and it's
going to be very interactive.
It's like having a conversation, it's like, literally, we're in
a room together during thisgroup counseling membership, so
it's called the PMDD PowerCouples.
I want you to break free fromthe chains that PMDD has put on
you, where you feeling like Iguess this is how our
relationship is going to be.
(01:01:22):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's something better foryou and you're going to see it
in the memberships.
I will see you in there nextTuesday, april the 8th.
We got this.
I love you.
Today is PMDD Awareness Month, so I was
committed to doing a surpriseepisode on the In Love with PMDD
podcast because I want to beable to provide you with a lot
of things during this month,mainly because when I released
the episode that was called youknow how bad talk therapy is for
(00:26):
your PMDD relationship I got somany comments, so many emails
just telling me how they hadbeen in talk therapy and it
hadn't really worked well forthem and they were wanting to
know.
Okay, so if talk therapy is notthe thing to do, what is it
that we can do?
(00:46):
In this episode, I really wantto provide you reasons why group
counseling is one of theeffective solutions for PMDD
relationships versus talktherapy.
And again, I actually do talktherapy for my trauma patients.
Therapy for my trauma patients.
(01:06):
I'm from patients who aresuffering with childhood trauma
or patients who are sufferingwith relationship trauma, things
like that, things that havenothing to do with premenstrual
dysphoric disorder.
I do do those, and some of theI was listening to the feedback
because I do it every singleweek which led me into creating
the PMDD Powers group counselingmembership is that I noticed
how healing being in a group andtalking about what it is that
(01:31):
you're dealing with in your PMDDrelationship and actually
getting tools and hearing theintricate details of things that
are going on in other PMDDrelationships kind of makes you
feel like you have hope for yourPMDD relationship.
Not only does it make you feelseen, it makes you feel like you
know you're not the only one,and I know that when I have a
(01:53):
new client, a lot of timesthat's the premise is that, oh
my gosh, I don't know if you'regoing to understand what we're
going through in our PMDDrelationship.
And I will always tell you I'veheard it all.
I've heard the verbal abuse,I've heard the physical abuse.
I've heard it all.
And it's not a way of blamingand shaming.
It's a way of having you have asafe place to talk about the
(02:15):
real details that are going onin your PMDD relationship, in a
place with people that aredealing with the same things.
A lot of times I get emails andI get comments after the
podcast and they say is thiscommon, is this common that this
situation happened?
Is this common that thishappened?
And I always tell them yes,it's common.
If you have premenstrualdysphoric disorder, if you're in
(02:37):
a relationship with someone whohas premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
A lot of the things that aregoing on in your PMDD
relationship are very common,but you just don't know it and
so because you think it's weird,because you think it's too much
, because you think it's like,oh my gosh, this is abusive, I
need to get out of here, I needto break up.
Sometimes, just hearing thatother people are struggling with
(03:00):
the same things that you'restruggling with is enough for
you to feel like, okay, I canmake this work, I can use the
tools, I can stay in this PMDDrelationship, and so that's what
I do for my private clients.
A lot of times is I'm answeringthese questions.
But if you've ever gone totraditional therapy, if you ever
gone to talk therapy and itisn't helping your PMDD
(03:23):
relationship, I want you to know, first and foremost, you are
not alone.
So many couples find that talktherapy just isn't enough.
Just talking about the thingsthat are going on in their
relationship during the lutealphase, during PMDD, it's not
enough to just get it out,because PMDD relationships they
need more than just talking.
(03:43):
Just talking about thesuffering that you're going
through, just talking about thefights and arguments that you're
going through, it's not enough.
They need real solutions, theyneed real tools and this is why
I created the PMDD PartnersGroup Counseling Membership,
because there's so many thingsthat are strategically designed
only for premenstrual dysphoricdisorder.
(04:06):
Meaning PMDD rage is a symptom,pmdd breakups is a symptom, pmdd
moods up and down, pmddattachment styles those are
things that are just symptoms ofhaving premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
Like it's not a realm of you,you know, doing something
(04:26):
specifically different.
It is every single time thatyou go into your luteal phase.
You need to be prepared forthese things.
You need to be prepared foryour partner's attachment style
to change, meaning they maybecome more distant and they may
become closer and they maybecome clingy, and these are
things that you need tools for,because it's not a bad thing
(04:48):
until you don't have the toolsto deal with it.
That's what I will say.
The reason why a lot of thesesymptoms are becoming to be a
thing is like I can't deal withthis.
When a partner decides to breakup, whether it's a partner that
has PMDD or they don't, it'sbecause they don't have the
tools to deal with it.
Partner that has PMDD or theydon't, it's because they don't
have the tools to deal with itand they feel like they do not
have the capacity to deal withthe amount of suffering that
(05:09):
they're presently dealing withand the only option becomes to
break up.
And so many couples who try togo to therapy they don't see
lasting changes because you'rejust talking about how much
you're suffering, which is whatI talked about in the last
episode when I was going intohow talk therapy is not just the
(05:31):
thing that you do when you havepremenstrual disc work disorder
and then, all of a sudden, yoursymptoms are better.
So what I want you to do andwhat I want you to understand
and the reason why I created thePMDD Power Couples Group
Counseling Membership is becausethese are the ways that are
going to make your PMDD symptomsless.
(05:53):
They're going to make them feellike I can do this.
They're going to restore hopein your PMDD relationship, which
is one of the common themesthat I say, that my private
clients say when they get off ofa session they're like okay, I
have hope that this can work.
They come in with no hope.
They're like listen, I am on mylast leg.
I have tried everything,nothing works.
(06:15):
But after the session and afterusing your tools, I truly
believe that maybe this can work.
It's restoring hope that it'snot just like you're with the
wrong PMDD partner.
It's not that you're notcompatible, it's that you
probably genuinely don't havethe tools to deal with what's
(06:36):
going on in your PMDDrelationship.
And so the first reason why thePMDD Power Couples membership
may be good for you is becauseyou learn from other PMDD Power
Couples membership may be goodfor you is because you learn
from other PMDD couples.
So, just so you know, I'm atraumatologist, which means that
I have a whole special teamoutside of PMDD that deals with
(06:59):
trauma, and I've been doingthese eight-week trauma groups
for the past.
I think it's almost a year nowthat I've been doing them.
Eight week trauma groups forthe past.
I think it's almost a year nowthat I've been doing them and
they've been so beneficial andI've had new people come in the
groups.
It's eight weeks at a time andI really I remember when the
first round I opened it up toindividuals that have PMDD and I
opened up the group becausePMDD is traumatic.
(07:19):
So whether you have PMDD or not, like there's trauma involved,
you have PMDD or not, likethere's trauma involved.
So with the group counselingthat I do for trauma, it is
every eight weeks and then Ihave new people sign up at
additional every eight weeks orsome of them even continue.
I'm going into like my fourthor fifth round and I'm seeing
the same people because you'restill getting so much out of it.
(07:41):
So the first thing that I willsay that you get out of a group
counseling, group therapy, isyou learn from other PMDD
couples, not just the therapist.
I can tell you all of thethings, I can tell you all of
the tools, but if you're nothearing specific scenarios that
mirror what you're going through, then it may not be beneficial.
(08:04):
So in therapy it's just me, youand, like your partner, and so
we're going through things.
But in group counseling youhear from real couples that are
navigating PMDD, that have gonethrough the steps and they've
come out on the other sideThey've not broken up.
There's kind of in this realm ofbeing like, wow, I think I can
(08:26):
make it, not just because ofwhere you're at, but you think
you can make it because of wherethe other couple is at, because
maybe they've gone through acouple of rounds of my group
counseling membership andthey're like you know what,
we've used the tools and we'vedone it.
Rinse and repeat, because allof the tools that I provide for
you are things that you can doagain and again and again.
(08:47):
I never give you like one-timetools where it's like it only
works through this month of PMDD.
No, if I give you a tool, writeit down, because when you go
through the same issue, you canuse it again and again and again
.
And that's a lot of times whypeople tend to get my one-time
like I'm just going to get onesession with you and I'm going
(09:08):
to talk about all of the issuesthat I have in my PMDD
relationship and you're going togive me tools for this specific
issue and then I'm going to usethem in my PMDD relationship
and what happens is they use itagain and again and again.
So it's kind of rinse andrepeat.
That's what I call it.
And so the next reason whyjoining a group counseling
(09:32):
membership may be the thing thatyou really, really need is
because it's focused on PMDD,specific relationship issues.
It's not focused on issues thatyou have with your partner
because you're not seeing eye toeye or you have different
attachment styles, like all ofthese things.
Many therapists, counselors,psychologists, psychotherapists
they don't understand PMDD.
(09:54):
They misdiagnose you with allof these other things which
takes you on this trail road oflike understanding what's really
going on and, honestly, it'sgiving bad advice.
And the reason why I say it'sbad advice it's because it's
taking you off track towards thereal issue.
The real issue is premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
(10:16):
If it's only during the lutealphase and I always say, it's
because of PMDD.
So you can't go to someone whodoesn't specialize in PMDD and
think that you're going to getbetter in your PMDD.
So you can't go to someone whodoesn't specialize in PMDD and
think that you're going to getbetter in your PMDD relationship
If they don't know what PMDD is, if they're just learning what
PMDD is, if they don't have PMDD, then they're just providing
(10:36):
you tools that are going to work.
I guarantee you they will workin your follicular phase.
If you're saying that you haveissues in your follicular phase
that are not related to PMDD,meaning they don't pour over
into your good days your quoteunquote, good days in your
follicular phase then yes,absolutely.
You may have just a generalissue with your partner that has
(10:59):
nothing to do with PMDD, but ifyou know that every single time
you go in your luteal phase,the root of the issue is PMDD,
then you need to be incounseling, in therapy, with
someone who specializes in PMDD,not just a general therapist.
You know, there's a reason why,when we go to the doctor and
(11:21):
I've done this plenty of timesbecause I had a herniated disc
in my back right and I had itlast April April of 2023.
I had to go to a doctor whospecialized in physical therapy
and specialized in my specificinjury a general practitioner.
(11:41):
They weren't going to know whatto do because I was having pain
like in, you know, my lowerback and my L5, like they were
going to, they weren't going toknow the intricacies that
happened.
And so when I really got intothat realm of really choosing a
practitioner that dealt with thespecific injury that I had,
(12:05):
then I was able to understandokay, like I know that I have a
herniated disc and this wasreally hard for me.
It was really hard for mebecause I couldn't go to a
regular physical therapist andthey really understand what's
going on.
I needed to go to someone whoknew what it was like to treat
someone who had a herniated disc.
And it's the same thing thathappens when you have PMDD you
can to go to someone who knewwhat it was like to treat
someone who had a herniated disc, and it's the same thing that
(12:26):
happens when you have PMDD.
You can't go to a generalist.
If you ever go to get help andyou go to look down the list,
there are a lot of doctors thatare generalists.
It means I deal with everything,and what I mean by I deal with
everything it's not that youspecialize in everything, it's
just that you know a little bitof everything.
I know a little bit of this, alittle bit of that.
(12:48):
When it comes to premenstrualdysphoric disorder, you need to
do a deep dive.
You need to know, especiallywhat's going on in my luteal
phase.
You need to go on a counselingsession, a therapy session, a
psychotherapist session, agynecologist session and ask me
(13:11):
where I am in my luteal phase,in my menstruation phase.
I've had so many privateclients come to me and say I
went to a doctor that didn'teven ask me what stage of my
menstrual cycle, that I was onwhen I was coming to them for
things that were going on in mymenstrual cycle, and it's kind
of like, wait a minute.
I need you to know that this isan important aspect of my
transformation, of my healingand if you're not even asking me
(13:34):
those questions, you're goingto give me a misdiagnosis.
And what I mean by misdiagnosisis you're going to a lot of
times with PMDD.
Is you're going to a lot oftimes with PMDD?
You're like, oh, you're bipolar, oh, you have PMS.
And what happened is becausemany therapists, psychologists,
(13:56):
psychotherapists don'tunderstand PMDD.
It causes you to have morefrustration with getting help
and I get that and I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry and I wish thatyou didn't have to go through
that scenario where you're goingto some.
You're finally because I knowwhat it feels like to build up
the courage to go to someone andsay I need help.
(14:17):
When you're going to someonewhen you have PMDD, when you
have premenstrual dysphoricdisorder or your partner has
premenstrual dysphoric disorderand you're premenstrual
dysphoric disorder and you'resaying I need help, and then
you're going to them and they'renot helping you.
It makes you feel like no one'sgonna understand me, no one's
gonna get it.
I shouldn't do this, like maybeI should just retreat.
(14:39):
And I'm so sorry that you'rehaving that scenario because I
feel like it really discouragesindividuals from feeling like
they can get help for their PMDDrelationship and I want you to
know that, like when you come tome, there's a lot of things
that are going on in PMDD whereyou don't have to describe your
(15:01):
symptoms to me, like you don'thave to tell me what's going on
with your PMDD.
In a sense of, like I want youto understand how bad this is,
because I am a psychologist whohas premenstrual dysphoric
disorder.
I get it, I totally get it, andthat's the benefit of being in
the PMDD Power Couples Group.
(15:22):
Counseling Membership is becauseyou don't have to spend all of
this time like, hey, this iswhat PMDD is and this is what
you need to do, because a lot oftimes you don't want to go to
these things.
Because you spend so much timeexplaining to your counselors,
to your therapists, to yourpsychologist what PMDD is and
(15:46):
then you feel like, oh my gosh,like I know I need to get help,
but I feel exhausted.
I haven't even gotten into therealms of like talking about
what's going on with me becauseI've been so busy telling them
what PMDD is.
So in the, in the course oflike PMDD awareness month, I
want you to start getting helpwith someone that knows what
(16:09):
PMDD is.
That is my biggest prompt giftto you is go with someone who
already knows what PMDD is.
If you are spending money toeducate someone else on what
PMDD is, you're wasting yourtime.
I have had premenstrualdysphoric disorder for over 19
(16:32):
years and a lot of that has beenfiguring out what works, what
doesn't work and getting likeproblem solved and solutions and
all of these things.
And that takes years, years andyears and years.
It doesn't come overnight.
So what you're getting whenyou're going into this group
counseling membership is yearsand years and years of
(16:54):
experience with someone who haspremenstrual disorder.
It is not someone who haslooked at it in a textbook.
And I will always say and Iwill confidently say this, and
the reason why I willconfidently say this is because
when I was getting mydissertation to get my doctorate
, I had to interview multiplepsychologists, psychotherapists,
(17:16):
gynecologists, therapists thatare specializing in premenstrual
dysphoric disorder andunderstanding their
understanding of PMDD.
And I'm not saying that theyweren't effective and I'm not
saying that they didn't have agood effort in trying to
understand it, but I will alwaysstand by.
(17:38):
In order to effectively treatpremenstrual dysphoric disorder,
you have to have had it at somepoint in your life.
Now, if you are in menopauseand you have completely like
you're not in PMDD anymore, butat some point you had
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
Like I get it Because, like I'mgoing to go into menopause
(17:59):
someday.
That doesn't mean that I don'tknow what PMDD is about.
But what I'm saying is, ifyou've never experienced it in
your body, if you've neverexperienced it, most importantly
, in your mind, in your brain,pmdd affects your brain more
than anything I can deal.
I have a high tolerance forpain.
(18:19):
If I have to experience a lotof physical pain that I wouldn't
even be doing what I'm doing,because I'm like, oh, if I just
feel uncomfortable for a coupleof days out of the month, that's
fine.
But when PMDD starts to talk tome literally talk to me in my
mind when it starts to give methoughts that are not my own
(18:40):
thoughts, that's when I'm like,wait a minute.
Like, how do I combat this?
How do I deal with this?
Because dealing with somethingthat is intrusively that's why
they call them intrusivethoughts it is intruding like a
robbery.
It's coming to the door of yourbrain and it's telling you
things that you don't want tothink.
(19:00):
It's telling you things to dothat you don't want to do.
And if you don't have the toolsto combat that, if you don't
have the tools to tell it whatto do and it actually work,
you're going to do the thingsthat PMDD tells you to do and I
will be the first ones to tellyou that you're going to be
looking like a fool.
(19:21):
You are going to be lookingcrazy because PMDD loves to make
you look crazy and then judgeyou for looking crazy.
That is the biggest crux of likePMDD.
I'm like you're telling me youhave these intrusive thoughts
that are like go off on yourpartner, say this, do this.
I can't believe they did thisbreakup with them, all of these
(19:43):
things.
And then when I do them and Igo off on PMDD range, then PMDD
is like, oh my gosh, I can'tbelieve you did that.
Like who would be with someonethat did that?
And I'm like, oh my God, you'renot my friend.
I can't believe I listened toyou.
I can't believe I fell for thePMDD trap and now I'm in this
situation where it's horrible.
(20:05):
It is absolutely horriblebecause you fall for the trap of
PMDD and it really messes withyou cognitively.
And I think the reason why thePMDD power couples is so
impactful is because when youhave those thoughts, you can
pull yourself back fromimmediately reacting to the
(20:26):
thoughts that are going on inyour brain when you're dealing
with premenstrual dysphoricdisorder and you can have
somewhere to process them withsomeone that understands PMDD.
So you can say, hey, I washaving this thought in PMDD like
what should I do about it?
What are the best tools?
What is the best way for me tohandle this?
You don't have to gospecifically to your partner.
(20:46):
This is what I want you tounderstand.
Your partner is not supposed tobe equipped with handling all
of the PMDD intrusive thoughts.
They don't know all of the PMDDrage or all of the PMDD
symptoms.
They're not equipped with it.
And so, by you calling them notbeing a supportive PMDD partner
because they don't have thetools, that took me years,
(21:09):
partner, because they don't havethe tools, that took me years.
I will tell you, mydissertation took me five and a
half years of researching PMDD,of getting a doctorate in PMDD.
I have had PMDD for over 19years.
I would never expect someonethat I meet, that I fall in love
with, to automaticallyunderstand how to be a
supportive PMDD partner withoutme specifically telling them,
(21:30):
without me specifically saying.
This is what goes on during therounds of the luteal phase and
premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
This is what works.
This is what doesn't work.
I would never go into arelationship expecting an
individual who has never dealtwith PMDD to be able to handle
everything that happens duringthe luteal phase, which is
(21:51):
approximately seven to 10 to 14days, depending on the
individual.
It's so specific.
So for all of you partners thatare thinking like I need to
break up with them.
I need to be with a differentPMDD partner because they don't
specifically understandpremenstrual dysphoric disorder.
It's not their fault.
You can be an amazing person,you could be the right person
(22:15):
for them.
And just because they don'tunderstand what's going on in
your luteal phase, what's goingon in PMDD, you can decide I'm
not going to be with this personand you're not even getting
into the realms of reallyunderstanding what's happening
during your luteal phase andyou're not even getting into the
realms of really understandingwhat's happening during your
luteal phase.
And I think it's so importantto really get to that point of
understanding that you have PMDDor your partner.
(22:38):
If you're listening and yourpartner has PMDD, this is
something that is specific, thatis going to impact your
relationship.
That is the biggest thing thatI really want you to understand.
And it's not a bad thing.
It doesn't cause like a badgeon you to say I'm a bad person
because I have premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
It's an approximately one in 20women and what I always say on
(23:01):
my podcast is it's not yourfault that you have PMDD, but it
is your responsibility tomanage.
You cannot put that on yourpartners to say I have PMDD, you
know how I am.
If you want to love me, if youwant to be with me, then you
need to just be in a place whereyou're accepting verbal and
physical abuse.
(23:21):
No, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, if you havepremenstrual dysphoric disorder
, I'm saying what I'm saying is,if you have premenstrual
dysphoric disorder, recognizethat and be able to have the
tools to work with your partnerand say you know what, when I'm
dating, when I'm in arelationship, now I know that
it's impacting certain phaseswhen I get into my luteal phase,
hey, I just want to let youknow now that I know the
(23:44):
triggers, now that I know like,hey, you trigger me in this way
when I'm in my luteal phase,because a lot of times it's not
when you're in your follicularphase.
It's not when you're feelinggood and you're happy and blah,
blah, blah.
Your partner is not going toimpact you.
You're probably not going tonotice.
When you go into your lutealphase, you may say, oh my gosh,
like this is the part where mypartner is really impacting me.
(24:07):
I really want to talk to youabout this.
Be open, let your partner becurious and give them the
opportunity to learn how tonavigate the ways that PMDD
specifically impacts your PMDDrelationship, and not think that
you shouldn't be with theperson.
A lot of times you're throwingaway the right person because
(24:29):
you're not willing to use thetools, because you're not
willing to put forth the effort,because you're in that place
where you're saying like, oh,they triggered me, so I guess I
shouldn't be with them.
Do you know how manyrelationships and I deal with
relationships outside of PMDDthat, like their partner,
triggers them?
Just because your partnertriggers you doesn't mean that
(24:49):
you're not supposed to be withthem.
It doesn't mean that they'rethe wrong person.
It doesn't mean that you needto switch partners If your
partner is triggering you.
Be curious instead ofcriticizing them.
That is the biggest thing Ifyou stop being critical and
start being more like curious.
Okay, why does this person youknow trigger me in this phase?
(25:11):
Are they doing it maliciously?
One of the things that I alwaystell my private clients is yes,
they did all the things.
Tell me, vent to me, tell meall the things.
This is when talk therapy works.
Get it all out with me and thenI'll ask you did they do it
maliciously?
Do you genuinely believe thatthey did it maliciously?
If you're telling me, well, no,I don't think that they did it
(25:33):
maliciously, then why are youmad at them?
If your partner is triggeringyou, you never told them how
they're triggering you andyou're reacting to them without
really bringing it to theirattention and giving them a
chance.
Give them a chance to repairthe trigger that you're feeling,
without approaching them as ifthey did it maliciously.
(25:53):
Did they intentionally try tohurt you?
Are they triggering somechildhood trauma, which is a lot
of times what happens in PNDDrelationships?
They don't know that, so you'reso focused on telling them the
partner's bad, the partner's bad, the partner's bad, the
partner's bad.
They don't know what's going on.
You're not willing, and I'llalways ask them when they come
(26:14):
on private sessions.
I'm like hey, did you talk toyour partner about this and
they're like, oh well, no, I'mjust saying no, no, no.
You don't need to be just sayingto me before you've been just
saying to your partner, sayingto me before you've been just
saying to your partner, and ifyou feel like they're in the
realm of not being emotionallyintelligent, where they're going
to get defensive, where they'regoing to get critical, when
(26:35):
they're going to get you knowall of these things and you're
feeling like there's this fearwith that, those are tools that
can be taught.
So what I want you to know,first and foremost, is, when you
are dealing with a partner whohas PMDD, they are going to have
symptoms.
When they have symptoms, it isthe realm of.
What are you going to do aboutit?
(26:56):
Are you going to support themwith their symptoms?
Are you going to be curious?
Are you going to be critical?
That's what I want to say andthat's a lot of what we work on
in the PMDD power.
Couples like group we're sayinglike every single week, because
I remember being in PMDDrelationships where we went
through things every single week, every single day really
(27:25):
understand that a lot of times,what you're going through is
really a realm of, like, theydon't understand what you're
going through and you're feelingthis way and they're feeling
this way and you're not reallytalking to each other.
You're not talking to eachother in a realm that you're
really understanding.
(27:45):
And so I want to ask you, like,the issues that you have with
your PMD relationship, theissues that you have with your
PMD partner right now, do theyknow about them?
That's going to be the firstlike question Do they really
understand what's going on?
So what's going to happen inthis group membership is you're
going to really get to the pointwhere you're going to have
(28:06):
problem solving tools, and whatI mean by that is, you know,
talk therapy focuses onexploring emotions, not
providing solutions.
It gets you to a place whereyou're talking about the things
that are going on in yourrelationship, which I'm all for,
I am all for getting it all out, I'm all for talking about it.
(28:29):
But if we're not getting to theplace where we're providing
solutions and we're providingtools, then what's going to
happen is you're going to gothrough talk therapy and you're
going to be left in that placeof feeling like, oh my gosh, I'm
going through all this and I'mleft with this wound and then
I'm just walking away and you'regoing to end up with another
fight.
You're going to end up withanother fight with your PMDD
(28:53):
partner right after goingthrough the talk therapy,
because you're going to havetalked about everything and
you're not going to havesolutions, you're not going to
have anything to do about it andyou're going to be fighting and
arguing and it's actually goingto make things worse.
But with group counseling, it'sgonna give you step-by-step
tools to stop the monthly PMDDbreakups, to stop the fights, to
(29:14):
stop the disconnection.
I'm literally gonna go throughwhen you come on every single
week and I'm literally gonna saywhat is specifically going on
in your PMDD relationship, howcan we address it and what are
the tools that you can do thisweek.
So when I talk about the PMDDPower Couples membership, it is
every single week.
(29:34):
I'm talking about what's goingon with your PMDD relationship,
what's going on, and then whatare the PMDD specific tools that
I can provide for you.
And what it is is you getongoing support when you have a
session, a group session, that'sjust when you have a session, a
group session, that's just whenyou have talk therapy.
It's just one session and thenyou're waiting for the next week
and the biggest thing is thatso much happens within that week
(29:58):
because I get the emails andI'm like, oh my gosh, this
happened, this happened, thishappened, this happened, this
happened.
And with group counseling, withthe PMDD power couples, you
have weekly sessions, so you'renot waiting for once a month and
you have recordings.
And the benefit of recordingsis so good because you can
listen to tools that I've givenyou on the recording during our
(30:20):
sessions and you can get therecording and you can say, okay,
let's go back to the tool thatDr Rose gave us.
Like, it's almost like if youtry to tell your partner what to
do, if you literally try totell them, they're going to get
really defensive and be like, ohso I guess I'm the bad guy, I
guess I need to do this.
I guess I need to do that whenit's coming from me, when it's
(30:42):
coming from Dr Rose, yourpartner is less defensive, but
they end up using the tools, andso that's the way that it gets
you out of the hot seat.
Honestly, because you're notthe one which, if you haven't
joined my course, my partner hasPMDD.
Now what the biggest mistakethat PMDD partners make is you
feel like you need to fix yourPMDD partner.
(31:04):
You feel like you need to fixthem.
Oh, they're going through this,I need to fix them.
Oh, they're going through this,I need to fix them.
Oh, they're going through this.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because when it's coming fromyou and you're their partner,
it's a problem, because then itfeels like you're picking on
them, it feels like you'recriticizing them and then they
get defensive.
And so the next thing thathappens in this membership is
(31:25):
your partner learns how tosupport you without resentment.
If you're the one nagging yourpartner and saying you need to
do this and you need to do that,and reminding them again and
again and again of what theyneed to do, your partner is
going to feel blamed and shamedand feeling like they're the bad
guy.
Because in therapy, inone-on-one therapy, it's very
(31:46):
obvious, like if the counseloris saying, hey, you're the one
that needs to fix this, then youbecome the problem.
So in talk therapy you becomethe problem.
It's either one or the other.
You're the problem or you'rethe problem.
In group counseling, it's justteaching partners real strategic
tools for premenstrualdysphoric disorder to support
(32:08):
you without resentment, becauseI'm not basing it off of one
specific person.
If I listen to you and I knowthat you need tools in this
specific area and I give youtools in this specific area, I'm
not aiming it at youspecifically.
I'm saying in the group as awhole, meaning you all need to
learn this tool.
And when you feel like it's agroup effort, when you feel like
(32:31):
you all need to use this tool,then it's a way of you saying,
oh my gosh, like yeah, this is aplace where, like, I can really
get tools and it doesn't makemy partner say, see, you're the
one that was wrong.
See, you should have done thisand you should have done that
wrong.
See, you should have done thisand you should have done that.
And then the next thing thathappens when you join is you see
(32:52):
what works for other PMDDcouples.
What I really would love andwhat I really would like is for
a lot of my prior clients tojoin the PMDD power couples,
because they will be able totell you what tools that I've
given them that has reallyworked for their PMDD
relationship.
Because in therapy, you know,partners may feel like, oh my
(33:16):
gosh, it's one perspective, it'smy perspective.
I'm telling you what to do?
I'm the counselor, I'm tellingyou what to do, but in the group
counseling membership, like youget a chance to understand,
like hey, dr Rose told me thisand it actually works.
And I have so many tools thatI've given to my private clients
(33:37):
and this is why I wanted toextend this to you that I have
worked and it's literally Itaught them the tool.
They've used it for one monthand then we've revisited it and
they've used it again and againand again 've revisited it and
they've used it again and again,and again.
Here's the thing that I reallywant you to understand your
luteal phase is going to happenevery single month.
Your luteal phase is going tohappen every single month.
(33:58):
The tools that I give you, ifyou're having that relationship
again, it's going to help you.
So you can learn it one timeand then use it again and again
and again.
And that's when you get therealm of like, the kind of like,
the success stories you cancome back on every single week
and be like oh my gosh, dr Rose,this worked for me and this is
(34:18):
the way that I've honestlygotten to the point where I've
recognized what works forpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
and what does not work.
This is not based off of sometextbook.
This is based off of dealingwith actual PMDD couples and
it's like, hey, this worked forme, hey, this didn't work for me
.
And then the next thing thathappens is, when you join the
PMDD power couples, is you breakthe isolation of PMDD?
(34:41):
One of the biggest successtestimonials that I always get
is like oh my gosh, I felt seen,I felt heard, I felt validated,
because a lot of you feel alone.
And I remember feeling alone,because I remember feeling like
nobody gets it.
If I talk to my friends thathave never, don't even know what
PMDD is, or I talk to friendsand family, they're going to
(35:03):
just tell me to break up.
They're going to be like thisis an abusive relationship, you
need to get the heck up out ofthere.
And they didn't reallyunderstand that I wanted to be
with this person.
I just needed the tools as towhat I could do about it, and it
wasn't about me reaching outand talking about it in a realm
of wanting to break up.
I'm reaching out and I'mtalking about it because I want
(35:23):
someone to give me hope that Ican genuinely be with a person
that I love and adore, eventhough it's triggering me in my
luteal phase, even though it'striggering me in PMD, because
many PMD couples feel alone andmisunderstood.
And the reason why I know thisis because they're told me this.
My private clients tell me thisand I know a lot of you are
(35:44):
telling me and I don't take thisfor granted that you tell me
things that you don't even tell,because you feel like if you
told your close family theinstances that have happened,
they would absolutely look atthem differently and they would
tell you to leave them.
And I remember being in thatplace where a lot of things were
(36:06):
happening to me in past PMDDrelationships and I was like, oh
my gosh, this is supertraumatic.
If I tell my sisters about this, if I tell family members or
friends that really care aboutme, they're going to tell me to
leave this person.
And I don't know that.
I'm really ready to leave thisperson.
But I also know that this is alot and this is not what I
(36:27):
deserve and I don't like thisand I really want to tell
somebody about this.
So I was in this place where Ifelt stuck.
I had no one to talk to because, guess what, you go out with
these people.
You have family outings withthem, you have friendship
outings with them and you don'twant.
My biggest thing is I'm soprotective of any partner that I
have.
I'm so protective of anypartner that I have so much to
(36:52):
the fact that any argument, anyfight that we were having I
wasn't wanting to tell my closefriends and family about it
because I don't want to go to afamily outing and then you're
looking at my partner.
Remember that they yelled at me, remembering that they called
me a piece of crap, rememberingthat they left me somewhere.
I don't want you to hear thetraumatic things that have
happened in my PMDD relationshipand no longer like and love my
(37:15):
partner.
If I genuinely like and love mypartner, if I know that I like
and love them and I really wantto be with them, but I'm just
frustrated with how things are.
In my luteal phase.
I'm not going to tell you, andI remember being like that.
I'm like I can't, I can't, Ican't.
I felt like it was a sense ofbetrayal, like I can't tell
people what's really going on inmy PMDD relationship because
(37:38):
they would look at themdifferently.
And so when I got to this point, I felt so isolated and alone.
Even my closest friends.
When I finally decided to breakup with current partners for
reasons that were not PMDD, justlike they weren't a good fit,
and I started to tell them allof the things that happened,
they were like when did thathappen?
I talk to things that happened.
They were like when did thathappen?
Like I talk to you every day.
(37:58):
They were like when did thathappen in your relationship?
Like I don't remember youtelling me this.
And I was like I didn't tellyou.
I didn't tell you what wasgoing on in my PMDD relationship
, because I didn't want you tojudge me, I didn't want you to
hate my partner, I didn't wantyou to not like them, I didn't
want you to not accept them, Ididn't want you to like add to
the thoughts that were going onin my premenstrual dysphoric
(38:19):
disorder, in my luteal phase,that were telling me to break up
.
Because, honestly, that's whatwill happen You'll get into PMDD
and PMDD will be like break up,break up, break up, break up,
break up.
And then you go to tell yourfriends and family about things
that are happening and they'rejust gonna add to that.
And so a lot of times I feltisolated.
I was like, in order for me tobe a good partner, like I can't
(38:42):
talk about the issues that I'mreally having with my partner,
because I know that I wanna bewith them, I know that I left
them, but I also know that thissituation was like messed up and
you kind of wanna get thatvalidation Like am I crazy?
Because, like when you get intoPMDD, you already have brain
fog, you have like intrusivethoughts, you have all of these
things and you really just wannahave a place.
I have so many of my privateclients that are just like Dr
(39:04):
Rose am I crazy for thinkingthis?
Or should I feel this way?
Or how should I feel?
And just needing to have aplace that you can just take
those intrusive thoughts anddump them on and get real
realistic tools and like, okay,this is what's really going on
and that's what I do for myprivate clients, and so with
this group counseling, I reallywant to be able to provide you
(39:26):
with that so that you don't haveto try to take it to people
that don't have the tools.
I felt bad for trying to getpeople that I love and adore to
understand premenstrual disorder.
That's not their job.
It's like if someone came to meand I wasn't a doctor and
they'd be like, oh my gosh, likeI have ADHD, I have ADD and I
was just a regular person, likeI would be, like I would want to
(39:49):
support them and I would justgive them like my basic advice.
I would literally be like Idon't know what to tell you.
I don't want you to feel likeyou don't have any place to go
to talk about the things thatare going on when you're in your
luteal phase for two weeks outof the month.
I don't want you to feel like Ineed to vent to someone because
if you're in a relationship,they're just going to be like oh
(40:11):
, break up with them, that'll bethe solution to your problem.
Guess what?
If you break up with yourpartner, you're still going to
be experiencing premenstrualdysphoric disorder symptoms.
I just want to put that outthere because a lot of times you
think PMDD.
You know breakups are thesolution to you having symptoms.
You had PMDD before yourpartner.
(40:31):
If you break up with yourpartner, you're still going to
have PMDD.
So when you deal with a groupcounseling aspect, it connects
you with people that truly getit.
You don't have to spend hoursand hours and hours on
explaining to them whatpremenstrual dysphoric disorder
is and sending them articles andtrying to get them to
understand.
I don't want you to feel likeyou have to exhaust yourself
(40:54):
just to the point of gettinghelp, and so the next reason to
join the PMDD Power Couplesmembership is you get the tools
to stop the PMDD breakups forgood.
I get to the root of why do yougo to the breakup option and
I've been there before, so it'snot a realm of blaming and
shaming.
I just want to figure out whatis your specific way so that I
(41:14):
can customize the tools to you.
Do you feel?
For me it was.
I felt offended.
I always felt offended, andwhenever I felt offended for
hurtful words, I would be like Idon't deserve this.
I need to get out of here or Ican't live my whole life being
treated like this, like I wouldcatastrophize and be like, oh my
gosh, my partner's treating melike this.
I'm always going to feel likethis.
(41:35):
That's why I need to get out ofhere.
So when you're dealing withtraditional therapy talk therapy
it discusses the breakups butit doesn't prevent them, and
that's the biggest frustration.
It's like we're talking aboutwhy they broke up with me, why
they said they want to break upwith me.
But it doesn't give you anytools to prevent them from
happening again.
(41:55):
So essentially a lot of you whoare doing this PMDD monthly
breakups it's not that you don'twant to be in a relationship.
You just don't want to be in arelationship that causes you
that much stress and overwhelm.
So I've had so many clientsthat, like, they break up with
their partner and then the nextmonth they're on a dating app to
get with somebody else.
So it's not that you don't wantto be in a relationship.
You do want to be in arelationship.
(42:17):
You don't want to be alone, youjust don't want the stress.
But you're not understandingthat any partner that you are
with that while you havepremenstrual disorder, you're
going to have to use PMDDstrategic tools in order to
combat that.
Like you can't.
You can't run from it, youcan't get away from that and the
PMDD Power Couples teaches youexact strategies to stop the
(42:40):
impulsive breakups.
When you get to the realm ofstopping the impulsive breakups,
you get to the point where it'slike okay, immediately when I'm
in PMDD and when I'm in therealm of wanting to break up
with my partner like I haveanother tool to use.
But if you don't have anothertool to use, you're going to be
on default mode, and defaultmode is breakup, breakup,
(43:00):
breakup, breakup, breakup.
It's like I'm too stressed, I'mtoo overwhelmed.
I deserve better than this.
I shouldn't be with my partner.
I'm going to break up.
You feel like you don't havethe endurance to handle what's
going on during the luteal phaseand what's pouring over from
the luteal phase into otheraspects of your relationship,
because you don't have thespecific tools.
Not because you don't want tobe with the partner, not because
(43:23):
you don't want to be with thisperson, but because you're in
the realm of not knowing thetools, of what you specifically
need to do in order to stay inthis specific relationship, and
a lot of it is very strategic ina realm of what are you
specifically going through inyour relationship.
So the difference between mypodcast, which is the In Love
With PMDD podcast, and the PMDDPower Couples is the PMDD Power
(43:47):
Couples is going to have youtalk to me and give me your
specific scenarios of what iscausing the PMDD fights during
the luteal phase, what arecausing the fights during other
phases in your cycle, and I'mgoing to give you the specific
PMDD tools to do something aboutit, to turn that situation
around.
And so a lot of times you'rebreaking up with partners not
(44:10):
because you don't want to bewith them, because you don't
have the tools.
And if you had the tools, itwill really give you the
confidence to say you know what,I can deal with this, you know
what I'm going through my lutealphase.
Instead of having so muchanxiety towards going into the
luteal phase, instead of havingso much anxiety and to, oh my
(44:30):
gosh, I'm about to experiencePNDD again, you feel powerful.
That's why I called it the PNDDPower Couples Membership.
Because you feel powerful.
That's why I called it the PMDDPower Couples Membership.
Because you feel powerful insaying I have the tools to do
something about this.
I'm not going to be thishelpless person that's just
going to be subject to PMDDmonthly breakups for the rest of
my life.
And I feel like you are missingthat because a lot of times
(44:54):
when I go on my private sessions, that's what they say I feel
hopeful, I feel powerful, I feellike I can do this and I feel
like you know, if you listen tothe end of every podcast episode
, I always say like you got this.
And the reason why I say yougot this is because I want you
to feel powerful in that PMDDdoesn't have the power over you,
(45:15):
in that PMDD doesn't have thepower over you.
You actually have the powerover PMDD once you have the
strategic tools to what's goingon in your PMDD relationship.
But it really is meunderstanding what is
specifically going on in yourPMDD relationship, like I can
record a billion podcasts on allof these topics that I and I do
(45:35):
this.
I really do do my topics on myPMDD podcast, on this podcast,
with things that I deal withwith my private clients, but
with this group counselingmembership, what you're able to
do is to say you know what?
This is what I'm going through,dr Rose, what are the tools
that you have?
And I guarantee you you cantell me in that moment what's
(45:55):
going on and you can describethe fight that you have had.
That's the biggest thing.
I don't make you pinpoint it.
I don't make you describe it ina way of like you're like oh,
I'm going to give you the tools.
I say what happened in yourPMDD relationship, describe to
me what happened with the fight,describe to me when you got
(46:16):
triggered and I'm able to juststrategically give you the tools
of saying, okay, now this iswhat you can do about it, and my
tools are never like, oh, it'sjust so horrible, you need to
break up, I guarantee you.
I've heard it all.
I've heard the verbal abuse.
I've heard the physical abuse.
I've heard all of the thingsthat your partner has said below
(46:36):
the belt.
All of the things.
This is a safe place to talk tome about what is really going
on with you, because I know howlonely, how isolating it can
feel to be.
Like I don't want to talk toanyone about what's really going
on.
Like I had a client earliertoday that has been married over
22 years and they're really inthat place where they're like I
(46:57):
can never tell my family aboutwhat happened today.
Like I can never tell themabout what's going on because
it's so horrible.
They would be like take thekids and leave you know all
these things and break up thewhole marriage.
This is this disorder isbreaking up families that could
be together, that could staytogether, and it's a realm of.
This is what it's strategictools.
(47:20):
So what I was telling youearlier on the other episode and
then I got so many comments onwas talk therapy.
Talk therapy is not needed forpremenstrual dysphoric disorder.
I will say this once.
I'll say it again, because ifyou're just talking about what's
going on, without any solutions, without any tools, without any
(47:41):
way, you'll get off the sessionfeeling like you want to break
up even more, because when youtalk about something,
cognitively you'll begin toexperience the emotions that
happen in that fight.
So all you're doing is sayingthey said this and they said
that and they did this, andyou're talking crap on your
partner and it's making you feelmore angry.
(48:01):
It's making you feel not seen,not heard, not validated, which
are the three things that arekey in getting you to use one of
my most impactful tools, whichis the JBL method.
Just be loving.
I will never tell you not tocommunicate something to your
partner.
I will always tell you to usemy JBL method Whatever it is
(48:22):
that you wanna say and if you'remy private client, you know
this If you wanna say somethingto your partner, that's really,
really hard.
Use my JBL method.
Just be loving.
And I will say if you say it ina way where you're just being
loving, it's going to bereceived in a way where you're
going to get results, versus youbeing defensive, versus you
(48:42):
being critical, versus youfeeling like you need to clap
back, where you need to fightwith the pride and the ego,
where you don't have theemotional intelligence to just
drop all of that and talk aboutwhat's really going on.
Yes, this happened, but what isreally going on?
How are you really feeling?
Not the fact that they, whereyou're coming on a session,
(49:03):
you're saying, dr Rose, theysaid this and this and this and
you're blaming and shaming andcriticizing.
But how did it make you feel?
How did it make you feel?
And not just in a way of like Ifelt sad or I felt this.
No, how did you want to feel?
How were you expecting to feel?
Because a lot of times it'sexpectations and disappointment.
You expected your partner to dosomething when you were in your
(49:25):
luteal phase and you weredisappointed.
And then you start to criticizethem because of that
disappointment.
And I always go back to basedoff of your expectations, did
your partner know exactly whatto do?
Yeah, they should know.
They should know.
I don't deal in the land ofshoulds.
I don't deal with clearcommunication.
This is why, a lot of times, onevery private session that I
(49:48):
have, I say bring your journalbecause I want the partner to
write down.
When your partner is sayingwhat it is that they want you to
do, like, write it down.
Say, strategically, I want mypartner to do this, I want my
partners to do that, not just oh, they saw me tired, they should
know that I wanted them to takeout the trash.
And now you're pissed off andnow you're going off in PMDD
(50:10):
rage no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no.
I want you to say did you writeit down?
In a way where you're saying,strategically, I needed my
partner to do this.
I wrote it down.
I told them to do this becauseI know that this is what I was
needing in my luteal phase andthey didn't do it, then we can
address that.
But if you're not clear on yourcommunication, then it's really
(50:32):
hard to hold your partneraccountable for things that you
genuinely didn't clearlycommunicate.
I always say in like you haveto inspect what you expect.
If you expect it from yourpartner, inspect the way that
you communicated it to them.
Go back, go back to thebeginning and say did I
(50:53):
literally tell them clearinstructions or did I just be
fatigued, be irritated, be this,and they just didn't do it.
And then PMDD I guarantee youPMDD is going to take that
scenario and run with it.
This is what I want you tounderstand about premenstrual
dysphoric disorder.
Anytime you're slipping, pmddis going to cause chaos and
(51:15):
confusion.
You're slipping PMDD is goingto cause chaos and confusion.
Chaos and confusion are the twotools that PMDD uses to mess
with your brain.
And then, if it messes withyour brain, it messes with your
emotions, it messes with yourbehaviors.
And this is how you get to thePMDD fights.
And when you fall for the trapof PMDD, it's because you start
doing things in PMDD and you'relike, oh my gosh, like I can't
(51:37):
believe they did that.
I can't believe they did that.
And you start going down thisrabbit hole and it's like wait a
minute, did I ever actually didI ever actually tell my partner
that I wanted them to do that?
Or did I just expect them to doit?
And the reason why I say tojoin the PMDD Power Couples
membership is because I will askyou those questions If you
bring it to me.
(51:57):
First, I will use my tool,which is called rewiring your
PMDD brain.
Pmdd is like going this way andI know you can't see me, but if
you go on YouTube or TikTok youcan see me it's like PMDD is
like negative, negative,negative, negative, negative,
forward.
When I say, wait a minute, whenI'm rewiring your PMDD brain,
(52:23):
it's going back in the day forthose of you who know about
cassette tapes and you're likegoing backwards and you're
rewinding to the beginning.
You're getting to the root ofwhat happened and you're like
did you do this?
And it's very discerning.
You need to be listening tosomeone who knows about PMDD and
knows the tricks and the insand outs that it tries to use.
This is why my methods are soimpactful and they're so
(52:43):
effective is because when you'retelling me a scenario that is
happening, a fight that ishappening with your PMDD partner
, I'm able to say, uh-uh, I knowwhere PMDD started to trick you
Because you're going this way.
And then PMDD is trick, trickyou Because you're going this
way.
And then PMDD is tricking youand it's like, oh, why did he do
this and why did he do?
As soon as PMDD drops anegative thought into your
(53:06):
subconscious, into your brain,cognitively, you have what's
called the reticular activatingsystem.
And when you have the reticularactivating system in your brain
.
Cognitively, you're going tostart searching for what it is
that you believe is going on.
So if you believe that yourpartner offended you, everything
that they say and do will beheld against them in the court
(53:27):
of your brain.
In premenstrual dysphoricdisorder, in your luteal phase,
you will start pinpointing thenegative things that your
partner is saying, even ifthey're not negative.
You're kind of distorting themin a way of saying like, oh,
that sounds negative becauseyou're trying to get it to feed
your reticular activating system.
And this is what I teach youwhen you're in the PMDD Power
(53:49):
Couples membership.
Is that what you're telling me?
I'm kind of reforming it, I'mrewiring your PMDD brain and
giving it back to you and saying, but what about this?
Could it have been this?
Let's explore this Because,honestly, if you accept a
different reality from what yourPMDD partner is telling you or
(54:10):
what the partner who issuffering with PMDD is telling
you, you're going to have adifferent reaction.
But if you're immediately justgoing towards what PMDD is
telling you, you're gonna have adifferent reaction.
But if you're immediately justgoing towards what PMDD is
telling you, you're gonna beit's gonna be negative and
you're gonna feel like you needto break up and you're gonna
feel like you can't handle thisand you're gonna feel like, oh,
I guess I shouldn't be with them, I guess we're not compatible.
And what I always tell you PMDDhas no new tricks.
(54:33):
It's going to tell you thatyou're not compatible.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is not supportive.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is maliciously
trying to trigger you.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner doesn't care.
It's going to tell you thatyour partner is not showing
enough effort.
It's going to tell you thatyou're doing all the work and
they're doing nothing.
It's going to tell you all ofthese things and then, most
(54:53):
importantly, this is the partwhere you get to the breakup.
It's going to be like and thisis what your life is going to be
like forever.
So you're going to start tocatastrophize and feel like, oh
my gosh, if I'm dealing withthis right now and I'm suffering
, I'm going to be suffering forthe rest of my life and so I
just need to get out of here.
And this is where the PMDDmonthly breakups come in.
So what I want you to gain fromall of this from me just giving
(55:16):
you the ins and outs of whygroup counseling can be better
than talk therapy is better thantalk therapy for PMDD
relationships is.
I will always, first andforemost, tell you that
one-on-one will give you thefastest results.
It will give you the fastestresults and whatever is going on
(55:38):
in your PMDD relationship, if Ican talk to you on a 90 minute
session which is why I have mymonthly ones and I have my
one-offs that you can get and Ihave my pyramid sessions, which
are the most popular, where Ihave one session with you as a
partner that suffers with PMDD,one session with a partner who
doesn't have PMDD to reallyunderstand what you're both
(56:00):
going through, and then I have ajoint session together.
So when we have the pyramid, itis a realm of you.
Don't have to worry about whatyou're saying and that your
partner is going to hear it andthey're going to be triggered.
You don't have to worry aboutwhat your partner is saying and
that they're going to betriggered.
And then I give you the toolsthat are going to be based off
of the two sessions that I hadwith you.
(56:20):
I'm like, based off of this,these are the tools that I have
with you.
Let's strategically come upwith an agreement between the
both of you that is going tohelp you and that's my pyramid
session, which is the mostpopular.
But I know some of you are likeDr Rose, I can't afford the
pyramid session, all of thesethings.
So I am eliminating that bysaying join the PMDD power
(56:44):
couples.
We are gonna be starting Aprilthe 8th, which is next Tuesday.
It's gonna be 12 pm PacificStandard Time.
I give all of the other times.
If you just Google what is 12pm Pacific Standard Time, it's
gonna be for 90 minutes, whichis literally a value of $349.
(57:05):
And what I'm giving to you forthe month of April, because it's
PMDD Awareness Month, is $49.
You're literally getting $300off for this month of April.
If you do not take advantage ofthis, I don't know what to tell
you it's only going to be forthree weeks in the month of
(57:26):
April and then it goes back tothe normal price of $149, which
is honestly a steal for what itis that you're getting out of,
really getting a chance to getinto counseling, which a lot of
you are feeling like.
You know I need to go tocounseling.
I know I need to go tocounseling Every month in PMDD
is going to be the same untilyou do something about it.
(57:48):
It's like Groundhog's Day, likethe issues that you have.
It's like putting a rock inyour backpack.
And I've said this before andI've said this again if you're
my private client, you know that, like every single time that
you're triggered, it's likeadding a rock to your backpack
and then you're going into yourluteal phase with all of these
rocks in your backpack and thenyou're wondering why you're
feeling heavy, you're wonderingwhy you're feeling frustrated.
(58:09):
And this is for the partnerthat has premenstrual disorder
and the partner that doesn't.
You know I specialize inpartners Behind me.
My dissertation was writtenstrategically for partners.
So even if you are one, ifyou're like hey, my partner's
not ready to go on counselingsessions, but I am, because I
need to be able to get the tools, I only need one of you for you
(58:30):
to be able to implement thetools.
So if you and that's the thing,it really is a two for one,
like if one of you join, you canboth be on the session together
.
So it's like a two for one.
And it's every Tuesday.
Every Tuesday, starting onApril 8th at 12 PM Pacific,
standard time for 90 minutes Ifyou can only do an hour.
(58:51):
I tried to do it like lunchbreak for people.
I now have clients in over 60countries, so I'm trying to be
very cognizant.
Once you are part of themembership, you will get a copy
of the recording of the sessionthat you can listen to at a
later date, but it is going tobe an opportunity for you to
customize the PMDD issues thatyou have and get the tools that
(59:13):
you need for your PMDDrelationship.
So if this is something thatyou know that you need, we're
taking cost out of it, we'retaking timeframe out of it.
We're just saying, if you'relistening to this podcast and
you know that you need it, likeyou have issues in your PMDD
relationship, you want to breakfree of the cycle that stress
and overwhelm and frustrationand nagging and all of these
(59:34):
things it's causing like youfeel like your partner's just
not getting it, you feel likeyou're not getting it, you're
not seeing eye to eye then thisis something that you need to
join, and no better time to jointhan the month of April, which
is PMDD Awareness Month, will bejust pouring into you during
this month.
It really impacts.
You know, I have premenstrualdysphoric disorder.
(59:55):
I'm currently on day three ofPMDD and I've been super
irritable and having to use mytools.
So I'm I'm a doctor thatactually uses my own tools, but
I will tell you that withoutthese tools, I don't know where
I would be and I don't know whoI would be or where I would be
(01:00:17):
or who I would be with.
And now I'm in this.
I'm in a really good, I'm in areally good place.
I'm in a really good place asfar as relationships are
concerned and it's because ofthe work that I've done and I'm
I'm happy about that.
I just want you to be there.
I want you to be in the placewhere, when PMDD comes if you
can get anything from this foryou and your partner because I
(01:00:40):
know a lot of partners listen aswell I don't want you to have
anxiety when it comes to theluteal phase.
My biggest thing is I want youto stop walking on eggshells in
your PMDD relationship.
That is like my biggest goaloutside of stopping the monthly
PMDD breakups.
I don't want either one of youto feel like you need to walk on
(01:01:01):
eggshells.
So I will see you and you'll beable to talk to me and it's
going to be very interactive.
It's like having a conversation, it's like, literally, we're in
a room together during thisgroup counseling membership, so
it's called the PMDD PowerCouples.
I want you to break free fromthe chains that PMDD has put on
you, where you feeling like Iguess this is how our
relationship is going to be.
(01:01:22):
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
There's something better foryou and you're going to see it
in the memberships.
I will see you in there nextTuesday, april the 8th.
We got this.
I love you.
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