October 8, 2025 • 44 mins
What happens when the person who's spent decades getting everyone else ready for the spotlight finally steps into it herself?
In this powerful and tender conversation, we sit down with journalist, bestselling ghostwriter, and media coach Linya Floyd—who’s spent decades helping other people shine—to talk about what happens when it’s finally your turn to take the stage.
From a behind-the-scenes media career to a long-delayed pitch that changed everything, Linya shares her story of becoming visible in a whole new way—while caregiving, grieving, growing, and learning to tell the truth about who she is and what she wants. She reflects on the evolution from performance to presence, the quiet fear of being truly seen, and the sacred space required to let our stories come alive.
TOPICS WE EXPLORE:
- What it really means to be seen
- Performance identity vs. true presence
- Visibility fears (and what we’re actually afraid of)
- Why your story matters more than you think
- The courage to stop hiding (even behind success)
- Vulnerability as a gateway to connection
- The slow, sacred timing of creative becoming
- Support vs. self-sufficiency: why you don’t need to do it alone
- The 5-second rule that changes everything
Linea's Oprah Daily Article: "What I Learned From My 10-Year Dating Gap" - The vulnerable personal essay Linya discusses in this episode
Edited by: Shoshana Wilder
If you loved today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaways by screenshotting this episode and tagging us on Instagram! We also have a free virtual monthly community call on the 3rd Thursday of every month, join here!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:07):
It doesn't always feel like current to what looks
like curves to other people.
For me, it feels like survivalsurfaces.
SPEAKER_02 (00:28):
I can put the life of the next list.
SPEAKER_03 (00:30):
And I can be so comfortable in the unknown and
so comfortable in thatuncertainty that every person of
it is going to be okay.
SPEAKER_04 (00:50):
I love the timing of these episodes.
I always feel like it's sodivine.
And what I'm always in themoment of processing and in the
moment right now is aboutvisibility and being seen and
really looking at all of that.
SPEAKER_06 (01:04):
Um, here you are.
Here I am.
You're like an angel.
Oh.
She is an angel.
I'm so excited to talk to you.
I like hanging out with you.
It's a good time.
And I got to meet Linia inperson in Golden.
And we sat at this darling teahouse on the patio.
We got to hug each other.
SPEAKER_05 (01:22):
So beautiful.
SPEAKER_06 (01:22):
Oh, this happened.
You already met in person.
SPEAKER_04 (01:24):
Last year.
Yeah.
You were probably wayoverdressed for the weather.
I'm jealous of both of you.
I want to meet both of you inperson.
I haven't met Mo in person yet.
Well, I know.
SPEAKER_06 (01:34):
Well, today we are joined by a dear friend, an
advisor, a powerhouse womannamed Linya Floyd.
Welcome, Linya, to Inter Reveltoday.
Thank you so much for having me,ladies.
I've been looking forward tothis all week.
Oh, we're so happy to have you.
Linya is an award-winningjournalist, best-selling
ghostwriter, and sought-aftermedia coach for corporate
(01:55):
clients and entrepreneurs.
She has two decades working asan editor and as a freelancer
for titles like Oprah, Glamour,Essence, Money, Health, and
Cosmopolitan.
Linya is also ghost-writtenhealth books for medical experts
and top creators that sold toBig Five and Boutique Publishing
Houses.
As a health expert who is also anationally certified health and
(02:16):
wellness coach, Linya hasappeared on the Today Show, Fox,
NPR, and more, drawing from herexpertise on camera and behind a
microphone.
She gives her clients the toolsto shine when they step into the
media spotlight.
She's expertly coached herentrepreneur clients, helping
them land media, prestigiousoutlets like Business Insider,
Well and Good, Fast Company, theHuffington Post, and more.
(02:38):
She lives in New York City, butloves traveling the globe.
Welcome, welcome, Linia Floyd.
Thank you so much.
And thank you to everybodylistening in today.
SPEAKER_05 (02:46):
I promise I will make it worth your while.
No pressure.
SPEAKER_06 (02:50):
Well, it's so fun because we love in our bios,
it's a lot about our accoladesas a professional.
And the great thing is, is wemay touch on that today.
But what we're really interestedin is the woman underneath that.
And we love to have a differentkind of conversation.
You've obviously had a lot ofexperiences speaking and being
interviewed.
(03:11):
So it'll be interesting to seeif you've had this kind of
conversation.
So we have to start off byasking you what is your
relationship to your innerrebel?
SPEAKER_05 (03:21):
My inner rebel is actually just getting started
for me.
Yes.
So my inner rebel has been going150 miles an hour for other
people for as long as I canremember.
I've always been someone who hasbeen the cheerleader, kind of
(03:44):
the second in command, theperson pushing other people up
into the spotlight.
Very much a supporting characterand doing everything that I
could with that inner rebelspirit in order to get people
where they wanted to be.
And it could be anybody.
I'm talking about theentrepreneurs that I've worked
with and the media coaching within order to get them and their
(04:06):
businesses into the spotlight.
I also do work with corporateorganizations in terms of the
media coaching that I do,getting people comfortable on
camera, getting peoplecomfortable talking to the
media, which can be scary.
I'm a friendly person in themedia, but I know that it can be
scary for people.
And that's what my inner rebelhas been really focused on for
(04:26):
so, so long.
But I am at this incrediblybeautiful place in my life where
I'm also able to get that innerrebel going for myself.
And I have been doing a lot morerecently in order to write
stories that I am personallypassionate about that reflect on
my life, expressing morevulnerability and expressing
(04:47):
more of my expertise withpeople.
So it's a little bit of a shift.
It's something that I have beendoing forever for other people
in almost every single aspect ofwork that I touch, whether it's
ghostwriting for people, whetherit's writing stories where I'm
translating what complicatedmedical experts are trying to
(05:08):
explain to the general public,whether it's the media coaching,
all of that has been so otherfocused.
But I'm getting to a place rightnow where I'm starting to do a
little bit more of that formyself, which is really
exciting.
But I still have plenty of timefor my amazing clients.
SPEAKER_06 (05:23):
I want to say something about the timing of
it.
And if this is something thatyou don't want to talk about,
let me know.
But I know a little bit aboutthe fact that you're actually
still in a deep season of takingcare of your parents.
100%.
So you are really in a season ofoutput and caregiving in a
different way.
So you spoke to how you caredfor your clients, and now you're
(05:45):
in the season that we'll all beat one day, which is caring for
our parents.
And so it's an interestingtiming that in the season of
lots of output for them, you'returning back your inner rebel on
you.
Did those two things haveanything to do with one another?
I would say yes.
SPEAKER_05 (06:04):
The first thing that I want to hit on that is so
important that you touched on isin terms of the caregiving, what
is so important but often getslost sight of the idea that if
you do not pour into yourselffirst, you will not be able to
pour into others.
And it sounds very cliche.
People say it all the time, butthen they say, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(06:24):
but I have to get these thingsdone for other people.
But truly, at the end of theday, if you are not there, if
you are not healthy enough, ifyou are not happy enough, if you
are not energetic enough inorder to be able to help other
people, then you're not going tobe able to do that work.
And you have to pour intoyourself first in order to be
able to give to other people.
(06:45):
So definitely there's been thatcoincidence of those things
happening within my life.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (06:52):
What I find so fascinating is that your gift is
to help people be visible and tobe seen and to step into the
spotlight.
And yet, you in your own lifehave taken this back seat.
And I really relate to thisactually because when I work as
a coach, but also just thingsthat have happened in my
personal life, I'm also acheerleader.
(07:14):
I also really love bringing outthe best in people and holding
them to their vision andwatching them then just like
zoom ahead.
And then I'm like, okay, bye.
And I felt like when's it myturn?
When does that spotlight thencome to me?
But also realizing it's a lotmore comfortable in the backseat
over here.
You know, the gift is seeingother people's potential, but
(07:37):
also where am I shying away?
SPEAKER_05 (07:39):
I'm so glad that you asked me about it.
I was, I came ready to talkabout this because I do think
that there are some generationalshifts that have happened over
time.
And that's what has reallyimpacted me.
So I was very intentional.
I always knew that I wanted tobe a writer.
Everything that I do right nowto this day is some variation on
that theme of writing and beingin the media.
(08:01):
Not a lot of people go toHarvard to get a degree in
English.
They go for other things thatare going to be vastly more
lucrative.
However, this was something thatI wanted to do.
Success for me was defined asbeing able to have a wonderful
life and I don't want to sayrich life, but to be able to be
able to do that as a writer, nothaving to compromise the thing
that I have been passionateabout literally since I was like
(08:24):
six years old.
And so once I left that, once Igraduated and I had to get a
job, that's where the compromisestarted to come in.
And that's when I entered thewonderful world of journalism,
because that's how I thought Iwas going to pay my bills, being
a great journalist, being agreat reporter, being a great
writer.
And I started working at one ofthe most amazing organizations
(08:45):
out there, the Associated Press,which is a wire service.
And what they teach you is to befair and to be balanced and to
be very fast with yourreporting, to be extremely
accurate with your reporting,and also that you are never part
of the story.
You're just not there.
Get the facts out there, but youdon't belong in the story.
So I started with thisincredible foundation in terms
(09:09):
of reporting and writing, butalso where there was zero space
for me.
You know, the space for you isin terms of what do I want to
report on?
What am I passionate about?
What do I want my beat to be?
But outside of that, you aretelling someone else's story.
You are holding up to somethingelse that is happening in this
world.
And that is just a pattern thatI fell into.
(09:31):
Now, if you ask somebody who'soutside of my generation,
someone who grew up withInstagram and other platforms on
social media, they very muchthink, what story can I tell?
What do people want to hearabout me?
What do I think about what'shappening?
That is not the foundation thatI started with.
And I carried those skills andthat silence, if you will, with
(09:52):
me for many years until thingsstarted to shift a little bit
more.
So that's why this is a littlebit of a later awakening for me.
And I will say, to your point,Jessica, there are a few things
that light me up more than beingable to sit down with a client,
somebody who's very anxiousabout getting in front of a
(10:12):
microphone, or somebody who flatout tells me I never want to do
television, or somebody whotells me that they don't have a
story, they don't have talkingpoints, they don't know what to
say.
To be able to give those thingsto them, to be able to pull back
a curtain and show those thingsto them and show them what they
do have inside of them, whatthey do have to speak about that
(10:32):
people genuinely care about,that they could actually get on
a stage or in front of amicrophone or in front of a
camera, and instead of beinganxious, be excited.
That feels amazing.
I love that.
I love that I can share thoseskills with other people.
And the transformation ispalpable.
The transformation is exciting,the transformation is visible,
(10:57):
and the transformationreverberates, right?
The transformation allows themto go out and then share their
knowledge, their messaging,their ideas with an exponential
number of people.
SPEAKER_04 (11:10):
But what has that transition felt like?
Because I imagine even thoughyou've been in the position of
supporting other people throughthat process, it's still
different.
And you still got to get intoall of those uncomfortable parts
of yourself and see where you'reholding back from stepping into
the light.
Absolutely.
I think I'm curious about therevelation, like the moment that
(11:30):
this started to shift, andyou're like, hmm, I actually
have something to say and I wantto be in the story.
It's my narrative too.
How coming out in that way hasfelt for you?
SPEAKER_05 (11:42):
So I can share two stories around there because
we're always growing, right?
We're always on these constantlyshifting sands.
And so I've had the joy ofexperiencing this more than
once.
So the very first time was whenI was working at 17 Magazine
many, many moons ago.
And I had the subscription tothat.
(12:02):
That's a big part of ourupbringing.
Yep.
100%.
I had this subscription also,and it's exactly the way that
you would imagine it.
Prom season, the hallways wereoverflowing with dresses and
beautiful shoes and jewelry.
And we'd get emails that werejust like, so Beyonce's gonna be
in the conference room atlunchtime.
You know, that kind of thingwould happen all the time.
(12:24):
It's my first concert.
Destiny styled.
But one of the things that Iremember most about my time at
17 was that we had a publicityproblem.
We had a ton of other magazinesthat were suddenly springing up
and they were appealing to ouraudience.
There was Teen People and Sassyand Teen Vogue and all of these
(12:45):
other magazines that were tryingto take our readership away from
us.
And we had to get morecompetitive.
And the way to do that was usingpublicity.
And so our director of mediarelations and PR would come and
she would stand in the doorwayof my office, and I would always
remember sitting at my computer,typing away, and then I would
see out of the corner of my eyethe silhouette of her standing
(13:06):
in the doorway of my office, andI'd be like, oh no.
She is gonna ask me to do a TVsegment, she's gonna ask me to
do radio, she's gonna ask me todo something, and I do not want
to do this.
And this was a long time ago.
This was way before I gotincredibly comfortable doing
these things.
But at the time, I did not wantto be in the spotlight.
I wanted to be behind thescenes, writing my stories,
(13:28):
interviewing teenagers,interviewing experts, everything
behind the scenes.
And here was this woman askingme, Hey, can you step in front
of a camera and represent thisentire magazine and get more
millions of readers reading ourcontent?
And I was truly terrified.
So I'd come up with theseexcuses.
Oh, I can't do that.
You know, I have a familyengagement or we're working on
this huge package with anational organization.
(13:50):
I just don't have time.
But she got me to do it a coupleof times.
But I was always terrified and Iwas always trying to keep these
excuses not to step into thespotlight in my back pocket.
And it wasn't until my next job,and they'd seen me on TV and
they were like, hey, she'spretty good.
And they said, We'd love you todo that kind of thing for our
magazine also.
And we're going to have you havea session with a media coach.
(14:14):
And I was like, Oh, what's that?
Oh, she's gonna help coach youso that you're gonna be your
best on camera and you can bemore comfortable and you'll know
what to say and when to say it.
And I thought, this soundsamazing.
And so I went to the meetingplace and I met this person and
we sat down and we did drills.
She put me on a fake camera andrecorded me.
And I asked her all thequestions that were giving me
(14:36):
anxiety, right?
What do I do if I stumble overmy words?
What do I do if they ask me aquestion that I don't know the
answer to?
What do I, what do I, what do I?
But being able to get all ofthat out and have somebody who
was extremely experienced giveme all of this information, I
cannot tell you thetransformation that took place.
Although I can tell you I wentfrom anxiety to excitement.
(14:58):
I had the tools that I needed.
All of a sudden I went from youdon't know what you don't know,
and anything could happen, andoh my God, let's just pray for
the best, to I actually do knowwhat can happen.
And I've prepared for all thesescenarios and I know exactly how
to step into this spotlight andto shine as my absolute best.
And it turned to something thatI absolutely dreaded, that I was
(15:19):
desperately clinging to thecurtain as somebody was trying
to pull me out onto a stage, tosomething that I would get super
excited about.
When will the talent car arrive?
I can't wait to get set down.
I can't wait for them to bringme down to channel four.
Like, let's do this.
I'm ready to go.
Who will be interviewing metoday?
I'm so excited.
Who will I get to meet?
That was the very first timethat I saw how exciting it could
(15:44):
be to move from behind thecurtain to in front of the
curtain and to get excited aboutgiving that opportunity to other
people.
It's one of the things that I ammost excited about in the media
coaching that I do because Iknow what it feels like to be
really scared and to not want tohave that opportunity, but then
to see what happens when you do,and to have your phone light up
(16:05):
with people texting you afteryou get off the set of the Today
Show and to go back to theoffice and hear that people have
been calling the magazine andthey have all these questions
about what you said.
So it's super exciting, but it'salso an opportunity.
I would get on these shows and Iwould share health information
that could change and savepeople's lives.
And that was an opportunity thatwas too big to pass up.
(16:29):
So being able to sit in thatspace of knowing not only am I
doing this thing that's going tohelp people, but it's also going
to be fun, was really powerful.
And all it took was help withpreparation from somebody, which
is exactly what I do now.
SPEAKER_06 (16:42):
I would add that that's not all because yes, that
was important, but you needed aninvitation.
You needed to be seen, youneeded somebody to see something
in you before you could see itin yourself and invite you into
it, first and foremost.
You said yes, which is reallybrave, but that was step one.
And I love that you shared, Iused to lie all the time to stop
(17:04):
being visible.
So like I've faked foodpoisoning and all kinds of
things to get out of visibility.
So like I love where you'relike, oh, I made up elaborate
lies to get out of speaking infront of rooms forever.
And now I love doing it.
So that was so resonant for me.
But I probably say this on everyepisode, but I'm gonna keep
saying it the power of beingseen because you need someone to
extract it out of you sometimes.
(17:24):
Be like, Linia, we want you todo this.
We see something in you.
And then you got the tools.
And then what I will say aboutthat is there was the relational
side of I got an opportunity topractice in a safe space where I
could speak out loud the thingsthat I was scared of, where my
shame was held, and I could in alow-stakes environment.
And this is why I do what I do,because I'm like, we need a safe
(17:45):
place to be seen, to practice,to fuck up, to be messy, to say
the things out loud that werelike, can I admit that I
literally don't know what I'mdoing?
Just have that place to bemessy.
So I just want to like namethose things because I think
that's so critical to be like, Ihad a place to practice,
somebody saw me and I could bemessy.
So then when I went out there, Iwas like, oh yeah, I'm prepared.
SPEAKER_05 (18:05):
And now you do that for other people.
Absolutely.
And it's so funny becausebecause I've been on the Today
Show multiple times, I'll havepeople call me and say, I just
got an opportunity to be on thetoday show.
I know that you've done it abunch of times.
I need you to train me.
I'm like, okay, no problem.
And we'll run through like mocksegments together and they'll
stumble on their first words.
And they'll say, Oh, Linia, I'mjust so nervous talking to you.
(18:27):
And I'm like, that's cool.
That's totally fine.
Be nervous talking to me rightnow.
We're gonna get all the nervesout so that once you actually
are standing on that stage andfiguring out which of the three
cameras you're supposed to belooking at and smiling, then
it's not gonna happen.
Let's do it here so it doesn'thappen there.
SPEAKER_06 (18:43):
I wanna think that I know the answer to this, but
what do you feel like people aremost afraid of around being
seen?
SPEAKER_05 (18:49):
Oh, around being seen in general?
SPEAKER_06 (18:51):
Well, when you're going on the Today show, like
you are a subject matter expert.
You could probably talk aboutthose health topics in your
sleep all day long.
So my guess is it's not the feararound like I can't speak on the
subject.
My guess is it's something else.
SPEAKER_05 (19:08):
It's different depending upon where someone is
in their career or theirentrepreneurial journey.
So if someone is more towardsthe beginning of their journey,
then I would say the number onefear is going to be around
perceived lack of expertise.
(19:31):
It sounds like I don't haveanything interesting to say, or
I don't know what my experttopics are, I don't know what my
expertise might be.
I don't know if I sound smart, Idon't know if I know more than
the average person about thisthing.
How do I make sure that Ipresent myself as somebody who
is?
Because I am having insecuritiesabout whether or not I really am
(19:52):
an expert.
And I'm using those quote marksbecause that's what people are
feeling, but it's not the case,right?
If you get an opportunity, ninetimes out of ten, it's because
you do know more than theaverage bear about the thing
that you've been asked to talkabout.
But we have these insecurities,we have the imposter syndrome,
all that weighing down.
And that's throughout yourcareer.
But if I had to choose, I wouldsay that's the number one thing
(20:15):
that people struggle with moretowards the beginning of their
career.
And I always hear, is what I'msaying interesting?
Do I sound smart?
Is this making sense?
That kind of thing.
People who are further along ontheir career journey or their
entrepreneurial journey, theyhave much more specific kind of
esoteric concerns aroundvisibility.
(20:36):
They know what their weak pointsare and they see them with a
laser focus.
Sometimes it's like the onlything that they see.
So they'll say things to melike, I know that I move my
hands too much, or I know that Ican come up looking really
intense, or I know that I speaktoo fast.
They're very specific things,right?
(20:58):
And me as a media coach,absolutely sitting there, will
be able to pick up on thosethings.
Either when I work with people,I'll watch or listen to their
past performance before I sitdown with them.
So I'll be able to pick up onthese things.
But what it's also so importantfor people to remember is that
yes, while it's important for usto do this work and get you to a
place where you're not doingthose things that are
(21:19):
distracting you or causing youfrustration or that you feel are
distracting, the average personwho is watching you on
television or listening to youon a podcast probably isn't
honing in on that thing that youare super self-conscious about.
But I still have to get you notself-conscious about it so that
you feel like you are showing upas your absolute best and so
that you can perform in a waythat is going to be impactful
(21:43):
for your audience.
SPEAKER_04 (21:44):
What I'm hearing is that whether you're at the
beginning of your career orlater in your career, it still
all comes down to the same humanplace because both of those
things seem to be about fear ofbeing misunderstood or fear of
being judged.
To put yourself out there meansthat either you're at risk of
(22:04):
the message not being clear andit being misconstrued, and
that's very vulnerable, or theyactually do see you, but they
don't like you.
Also very vulnerable.
So we want to be curated to acertain extent.
And I think it's this protectivepart of us that wants to protect
our image and protect the waythat we are visible, but that's
not always in our control.
(22:26):
So you sort of help with theelements that are to some degree
and to show up as confidently asyou can.
SPEAKER_05 (22:32):
Yeah.
And I do think that there is alot that is within our control,
right?
To a certain extent.
We can't control technicalmalfunctions, right?
And we can't control if the hostof a TV show asks us a question
that's like way out of leftfield.
But we can control how we answerthat.
We can control how we respond totechnical malfunctions.
(22:52):
There are all these brilliantways that we can navigate and
make our way through what areperceived difficult situations
so that we can shine as brightlyas possible.
Yeah, and put our best footforward in that scenario.
SPEAKER_06 (23:06):
Yeah.
I think it's the bridge between,I'm present to the words curated
and authenticity.
And as I'm listening to you, I'mlike, I can't wait to do more
media training with you.
When you have the tools to showup and own the spotlight, you
can be more authentic, even ifit's in a curated way.
Yes.
You're removing the bullshitthat gets in the way that keeps
(23:28):
you from able to just be you.
SPEAKER_04 (23:31):
I literally just wrote that down.
Sometimes the curation allowsyou to be more authentic.
SPEAKER_05 (23:35):
But I also want to toss out there, and it's
interesting, I do this with bothmy ghostwriting clients and with
my media coaching clients.
One of the questions that I askboth of those individuals is
give me three adjectives for theway that you would like to
sound.
What do you want people to thinkabout you after you walk off of
(23:57):
the stage or after the interviewis over or after they finish
reading the last page of yourbook?
And it's interesting becausesome people will want things
that are not necessarily how youthink of them.
Some people want to be funnierthan they are.
Some people want to seem morelike a best friend or a
girlfriend when in real lifemaybe they could be a little bit
standoffish, right?
(24:17):
And so there's a balance betweenthat authenticity and how people
actually want to come off.
Not necessarily in a nefariousway through the desire to be
heard, right?
If I can make you laugh, maybeyou'll lean in and pay attention
a little bit more to what I'msaying.
Yeah.
If it sounds like it's comingfrom your best friend instead of
(24:39):
coming from somebody who hasmultiple medical degrees and
could talk circles around, youknow, a lecture hall, then maybe
you're going to capture more ofwhat I'm saying and what I'm
sharing.
So that's one thing that I dowith my clients, and I encourage
people to do it themselves also.
Sometimes I'll actually evensend my clients just like a list
of adjectives, like which ofthese are jumping out at you in
(25:01):
terms of how you really want toshow up?
Because it can be hard forpeople to think about that.
A lot of times people justthink, I got an opportunity and
I just got to do my absolutebest.
Okay, but what does your bestsound like?
What does your best look like?
What does your best make peoplefeel?
SPEAKER_04 (25:16):
And when you spoke before about giving people this
health information, and that'ssuch an amazing opportunity,
that also reminded me, and itconnects to this, I think, of
what your deeper why is.
Like why are you there?
What are you trying tocommunicate?
And what is the service, theintent behind that?
And that if the why is veryclear, that also not only helps
(25:40):
how you want to show up and howyou want people to perceive you,
but can also, I think, overridethe anxiety at times when we're
so connected to the purposebehind it.
We make it more meaningful thanthe fear.
100%.
SPEAKER_05 (25:54):
The purpose is going to be able to drive us into
action.
The preparation, the workingwith a coach or getting
someone's help as a ghostwriteror what have you, that is what's
going to help you cross thatfinish line and show up.
SPEAKER_06 (26:09):
Don't you have a talk that you did for us, the
three Ps?
Wasn't it like purpose,preparation, and presence or
something?
Persistence.
Persistence.
I'm curious.
So your three adjectives, whenyou were sharing health
information as a subject matterexpert, you probably had three
ways that you wanted to sound.
Now you're shifting thenarrative to more of your
(26:31):
personal story, it sounds like.
So how has that shifted?
You were to name how you wantedto be perceived back then to how
you want to be perceived now asyou're sharing your own story.
Has that changed?
SPEAKER_05 (26:44):
Oh, radically.
Absolutely.
And to be fair, I still writelots of magazine articles.
I still, I still do thereporting side of things.
But as it starts to shift alittle bit, I'm writing in a
more vulnerable way.
I'm writing in a much morecreative way.
Going back to my associatedpress days, that was about
(27:06):
getting the information out asquickly as possible, as clearly
as possible, as accurately aspossible.
And I got to expand on that inmy magazine days, right?
Wire services are gettingmultiple stories out every
single day.
Magazines are producing storieson a weekly or a monthly basis.
So I got more time with that.
But the work that I'm doing now,definitely more vulnerability,
(27:28):
definitely a lot more creativityand fun and play to it as well,
and a different type ofenjoyment that comes out of it.
SPEAKER_04 (27:37):
So I do want to then circle back to that original
question, then, because you saidthere's two stories or two
phases.
And I imagine phase one is ohwow, I had fear of speaking, and
now I have the tools and theresources to get out there and
be in the media and speakpublicly.
But there's another dimensionwhen it gets personal.
Yes, absolutely.
So I'm curious about phase twoand what you are currently
(28:01):
experiencing as you come out inthis way.
SPEAKER_05 (28:04):
I am so glad that you asked because the timing
couldn't be more perfect.
In this phase two, it actuallyechoes a little bit of what
Melissa was saying about havingsomeone see something inside of
you or being in a space wheresomebody kind of is pulling
something out of you.
I decided this year to join awriter's group.
(28:26):
And I said, this is really gonnapush me to produce more of my
own writing, to hold myself moreaccountable.
I have an accountability partnerin the group.
It's been incredible.
And about a month or so ago, Iwas making my accountability
list for the week.
And I was just like, I just haveto start putting myself out
(28:46):
there.
Like, time's up.
Let's go.
We've been creating.
Now let's get some of thesecreations out of the door.
And I ended up sending a pitchthat was a very deeply personal
story to an outlet that I can'treally name just yet, but it's a
major media outlet thateverybody would recognize and be
very excited about.
(29:07):
And I wrote this pitch and Icould feel the hesitation in
clicking the send button.
It took me no time to write upthe pitch.
And I'll tell you why.
Because I had written more thanhalf of it seven years ago.
Let the file linger.
(29:28):
I was like, I'll come back tothis.
This is really deeply personal.
I don't know.
I'll come back to this.
And I didn't.
Year after year after year, itwas addressed to an editor who
no longer worked at the outletanymore.
I had to go find a new person tosend this out to.
But I said, we just gotta do it.
And I like telling this storybecause I feel like people
(29:50):
remember Lost.
There's a scene on Lost whereJack is talking to Kate, and
Jack is explaining that as amedical doctor, he made a
terrible mistake.
During a surgery and he nickedan artery and the patient was
going to bleed out within amatter of minutes.
And in that moment, he allowedhimself to be scared for like
five seconds.
And he counts really slowly tofive in the scene.
(30:12):
He says then after the fiveseconds were over, I just had to
get it done.
And he ends up fixing themistake.
The patient lives, the patientis completely mobile.
Everything is fine in the end.
And I always think about thatscene and how it's not that
you're not going to be scared.
It's not about not beingfearful.
It's always about feeling thefear and doing it anyway.
And I gave myself five secondsto be like, oh my God, I can't
(30:36):
believe you're doing this, butyou're gonna do it.
Five, four, three, two, one,click.
And then I just walked away frommy computer.
And about a week later, I heardfrom the editor and she was
like, This sounds so great.
I think this would be perfectfor our readership.
Let me pitch it to my editor andlet me get back to you.
Just hold tight.
And I was like, oh my God, thisis amazing.
(30:57):
I think this is happening.
And then I heard nothing.
SPEAKER_06 (30:59):
Are you still in the space of nothing right now?
Are you waiting?
So I sent a follow-up email.
Persistence.
This is the third P, everybody.
Or maybe the first P.
I don't know.
So there's my second email.
SPEAKER_05 (31:11):
Hey, just following up to see what happened.
And I didn't hear anything back.
And I thought, oh man, what abummer.
And I said, I'm gonna try onemore time.
And I did.
And she wrote me back right awayand she said, I'm so sorry.
It's just been really hectichere.
But I come bearing great news.
We would love for you to writethis piece for us.
That was yesterday.
SPEAKER_06 (31:29):
Hi, I mean.
Well, then what happened in yourbody?
Did you panic?
Were you like, I want to go backin my turtle shell, or were you
like ready?
SPEAKER_05 (31:37):
No, I was so ready and I was so excited because she
actually said I had offered todo some reporting in this story
and talk to some experts.
And she said, actually, we don'twant experts, we just want you
to talk about your personalexperience.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Is this in alignment?
And so, yes, going back topersistence, absolutely.
(32:00):
And in all fairness to myself,maybe seven years ago was not
the right time.
Maybe now was the right time.
But it has been ready all thistime.
It just needed a 5-4-3-2-1 clicksend, which happened, and then
everything started to fall intoplace.
And so I say that because Igenuinely believe that people go
to my website and they look atmy videos and they're like, oh
(32:22):
my God, she's in his Antelvin.
She doesn't know what it feelslike to be nervous about these
things.
Or my God, she worked in mediafor 20 years.
She doesn't know what it's liketo freak out before clicking
send and to worry, like, am Ibeing too vulnerable?
Are they even going to careabout this story?
Do I have anything to say?
Is this interesting at all?
Yeah, I know exactly what itfeels like.
I know how to push through it.
I help people do it all thetime.
(32:43):
And we have to give ourselvesthese opportunities.
We have to be persistent.
We have to be prepared.
And we have to know our purpose.
And I'm so excited to share thisstory.
Of course, I told my friendsimmediately.
I was like, I'm gonna be in,fill in a blank.
Tell, or we said hi.
Just kidding.
And they were like, what's itabout?
And I told them, and they werelike, oh my God, this is so
relatable.
You know, we all sit in thesespaces where we think I'm just
(33:04):
the lone person here having thissingular experience.
And it is never, ever the case.
Ever the case.
In fact, in all of my caregivingexperiences and trials and
tribulations, as frustrated as Iget, I always come back to this
reminder of I'm not the firstperson in the world to have this
(33:24):
issue.
And somebody else had to havefigured it out before me.
And I hop on Reddit, or I call adoctor, or I talk to a nurse, or
I talk to somebody else who's acaregiver.
And lo and behold, here comes asolution.
Right.
So we always have to rememberlike, we're not the only people
who have ever had thisexperience.
And there's somebody out therewho can help us.
There's somebody out there whocan help us shine.
(33:44):
There's somebody out there whocan help us find out what our
purpose is, what our talkingpoints are, what our messaging
is, what it is that we have toshare that is going to be of
interest to other people.
And I love that I get to dothat.
SPEAKER_06 (33:55):
Jess is about to jump through the screen.
I love watching Jess when she'sso excited about this
conversation.
It's so great.
I'm so excited.
You're so excited about whatLydia is saying.
SPEAKER_04 (34:06):
I love watching you while Lenny was talking.
Well, I really just want tocongratulate you.
So congratulations.
And I'm just so happy for you.
And I just think that's anamazing affirmation from life to
put your vulnerability out thereand get that response.
And good on you being persistentand following up.
I really want to acknowledge howimportant it is what you said
about feeling the fear and doingit anyway.
(34:27):
I mean, I think we're livinglife right when we're on the
edge of our comfort zone.
Like life should just feel alittle bit scary all the time.
That's how you know that you'regrowing.
But I also want to highlightthat moment of hesitation, just
in the spirit, like you said, ofbeing relatable and universal.
Like everybody is going to tuneinto this and feel this.
(34:49):
Do you understand what that fearwas?
What was the feeling behind thathesitation?
What was that fear?
What was that story, even thoughyou were able to move past it?
SPEAKER_05 (34:58):
Oh, absolutely.
It was you're not supposed to bethe center of the story.
The story is other people.
You are now delving into thisrealm of vulnerability, and
people are going to know moreabout you, and you're exposing
your soft parts to the worldnow, right?
And that can be really scary.
But at the same time, that isthe place where relatability
(35:22):
happens.
That's the place whereconnection happens.
That's the place where you helpother individuals who are going
through something similartransform.
Or even if the transformationisn't happening, just feeling
like you are not alone in thatexperience or realizing that you
are not alone in that experienceby seeing, reading, hearing,
(35:43):
watching somebody else talkabout it.
SPEAKER_06 (35:46):
What is your why that's so much bigger than your
fear?
What is, if you can disclose itat this point, what is the
impact that you're hoping tomake by telling this part of
your story and stepping intocenter stage?
Are you able to share that part?
SPEAKER_05 (36:00):
I can.
It is who I am.
I am a storyteller.
That is my purpose.
That is what I was put here todo.
That is what I've been doingsince I was six years old.
That is what I find tremendousjoy in.
And that is what has allowed meto have one of the things, one
(36:21):
of the things that has allowedme to have a tremendous impact
on other people.
And if we think about our timehere as using the tools that we
have been gifted and theopportunities that we have
sought out and made use of inorder to do all of those things,
(36:41):
then that's my responsibility.
That is my reason for being.
SPEAKER_06 (37:28):
Yeah, maybe it's an area of your life, but it's okay
if you can't say it.
SPEAKER_05 (37:32):
Um, it will ultimately be a book, a memoir
that I am writing, not justabout my experience, but
generationally the experiencesof my family.
SPEAKER_04 (37:45):
It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_06 (37:46):
The other thing that I love that you said is that I
wrote it seven years ago andthen it was like, oh, 5-4-3-2-1,
boop.
But I think because I knew aboutthe Nova for nine years before I
5-4-3-2-1 booked it, you know?
Yeah.
And so I think it's much longerthan that in the episode.
This is key for people becausewe have a knowing so much
(38:07):
earlier than we take action,oftentimes.
There's a deep knowing, whetheryou can name it, whether you've
written it clearly.
But you know, and it takes timebefore the action happened.
So there was a becoming of youfor seven years.
I'm going to just make a wildassumption that you needed to go
(38:28):
through all of the things youneeded to go through in order to
hit send seven years later.
And that becoming is so criticalto being ready.
I put it ready in air quotes,because we always are like, you
know, you're like clenching yourbutt cheeks as you hit send.
But I like to talk about thatbecause it's okay if you said
the thing out loud 10 years agoor five years ago or one year
(38:49):
ago and you didn't do it, justtrust that the becoming was
critical to what it is thatyou're here to do next.
I absolutely agree.
SPEAKER_05 (38:59):
And it's all part of the process.
Yeah.
Nobody leaps to the top, I mean,you know, a superhero, but
nobody leaps to the top of thestaircase.
You take it one step at a time.
Maybe you take it two steps at atime, but you're not gonna just
transport yourself to the top ofthe staircase.
SPEAKER_06 (39:14):
As an efficiency junkie, I want to, though.
I want to be like, I mean, weall do.
We all how do I jump all of thesteps?
I don't want to go one at atime.
I want to go 25 at a time.
Fly to the roof.
Yeah.
Fly to the roof.
I want to fly to the roof asquickly as possible.
What were you gonna say, Jess?
SPEAKER_04 (39:28):
Well, I just really appreciate this aspect of the
conversation, and you've touchedon it a number of times around
training.
And I think sometimes we go to acoach for training, sometimes
life trains us.
But I think we have thisexpectation of ourselves that we
should just know how to dothings, especially when it just
is about showing up and beingourselves or speaking on camera
(39:50):
or whatever it is.
I know as an actor, because I'man actor as well, I need
rehearsal.
I need that time to getsomething in my body and to
spend time relaxing into it sothat it can be effortless and to
give ourselves the grace, bothin media and in putting
ourselves in the public eye.
Like it takes a certain amountof capacity for pressure to be
(40:11):
in the spotlight, to hold thatmuch and still deliver.
That is just a nervous systemthing that we have to build
sometimes.
And then also life is gonna beputting us through those
trainings all the time in orderto get us ready to do the five,
four, three, two, one boop, youknow, and and step into the next
incarnation of self.
SPEAKER_05 (40:29):
I think you're absolutely right.
And I want to add to that thatnot only do we expect ourselves
to be able to do things, we alsoexpect ourselves to be able to
just figure anything out.
Just, okay, I'm just gonna watcha bunch of videos, read a bunch
of books, da-da-da-da.
And I'm not discounting thatpeople are very smart and can do
(40:50):
all these things, but at whatcost?
Right?
If this isn't something that youhave some expertise around, and
an hour of working with somebodycould make a radical
transformation that is specificto your particular experience,
then why put the bootstrap?
I'm gonna figure it out on myown, pressure on yourself, and
(41:10):
why not just ask for some help?
SPEAKER_06 (41:13):
We were just talking about that.
We had a ANOVA event rightbefore this, and the theme of
this month is inclusiveleadership.
And so the question that we didbreakout groups, I can't
remember the exact phrase, butit was all about asking for help
inside of leadership.
And what does it mean, and howcan that enhance your
leadership?
Because the theme of the quarteris collective empowerment.
(41:33):
So it was all about how doesgetting support actually enhance
your leadership?
And it was such a beautifuldialogue because we're taught
fake it till you make it, andyou gotta be the expert, and
don't let anybody know that youdon't know what you're doing.
And it's so the opposite of howwe need to be really, because
there is something on Vicky,Vicky Hughes on her LinkedIn the
(41:55):
other day said, instead of fakeit till you make it, brave it
until you believe it.
I was like, love brave it untilyou believe it, because that's
more what it is.
And when you brave it, you askfor support.
When you brave it, you beafraid.
When you brave it, you say thethings you're scared of out
loud.
When you brave it, you mightactually need to take time where
you take that breath and thenyou do the scary thing.
(42:17):
And so I love just being able tonot know totally what you're
doing and phone a friend becauseguess what?
We're all real happy to receivethat phone call.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (42:26):
We love talking about community a lot on Inter
Rebel.
It's so important.
And you mentioned even thewriter's group, and I had the
thought at the time about justinserting yourself in spaces
where you're held accountable,where people see you, where
people support you.
Melissa, you were talking abouthow important it is to be seen
and recognized and called out toshare our gifts.
(42:46):
Not everyone listening has hadthat experience, but we can seek
out those groups, those peoplewho can help nurture that.
You know, we need to be in thoseenvironments.
So I just noted that as part ofyour story.
It's a great way to move andtransition out of one phase to
another, is like, oh, I'm readyto tell my story.
How do I find a space wherethat's safe to explore?
SPEAKER_06 (43:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (43:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (43:11):
So what are you most excited about now?
You just got this big newsyesterday.
What feels possible now that youknow that this is happening?
SPEAKER_05 (43:19):
I'm excited about this story.
That is the thing that makes memost excited right now is
finishing that story and gettingit out into the world.
And I'm really curious what thereaction is going to be because
it's unlike anything that I'veever written before.
SPEAKER_04 (43:37):
Oh, that's a really beautiful response because to
arrive at a place in yourselfwhere you can be vulnerable and
be excited for that kind offeedback, not knowing what it
will be, is I think actually theplace we need to arrive at when
we put ourselves out there, thatwe're not worried about the
perception that we're like, ooh,what are people gonna think?
This is so cool.
SPEAKER_06 (43:57):
So good for you.
So, what would you say to thewoman that's got her finger on
send, terrified to hit thebutton, standing on the edge of
her next chapter?
What do you say?
SPEAKER_05 (44:10):
Five, four, three, two, one.
Send.
SPEAKER_06 (44:14):
That's it.
Just do it.
Amazing.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for being here, Linya.
We're so excited for this.
I can't wait till you get totell us what it is.
Oh, I will to be continued.
Very excited to share that witheverybody.
SPEAKER_04 (44:29):
We can't wait, and we'll definitely be sharing it
with our listeners when it's outthere.
So thanks for sharing your heartand your wisdom and your story.
It's really inspiring andspecial.
Really appreciate you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_05 (44:40):
And thank you to everybody who listened in today.
It doesn't always feel like current to what looks
like curves to other people.
For me, it feels like survivalsurfaces.
SPEAKER_02 (00:28):
I can put the life of the next list.
SPEAKER_03 (00:30):
And I can be so comfortable in the unknown and
so comfortable in thatuncertainty that every person of
it is going to be okay.
SPEAKER_04 (00:50):
I love the timing of these episodes.
I always feel like it's sodivine.
And what I'm always in themoment of processing and in the
moment right now is aboutvisibility and being seen and
really looking at all of that.
SPEAKER_06 (01:04):
Um, here you are.
Here I am.
You're like an angel.
Oh.
She is an angel.
I'm so excited to talk to you.
I like hanging out with you.
It's a good time.
And I got to meet Linia inperson in Golden.
And we sat at this darling teahouse on the patio.
We got to hug each other.
SPEAKER_05 (01:22):
So beautiful.
SPEAKER_06 (01:22):
Oh, this happened.
You already met in person.
SPEAKER_04 (01:24):
Last year.
Yeah.
You were probably wayoverdressed for the weather.
I'm jealous of both of you.
I want to meet both of you inperson.
I haven't met Mo in person yet.
Well, I know.
SPEAKER_06 (01:34):
Well, today we are joined by a dear friend, an
advisor, a powerhouse womannamed Linya Floyd.
Welcome, Linya, to Inter Reveltoday.
Thank you so much for having me,ladies.
I've been looking forward tothis all week.
Oh, we're so happy to have you.
Linya is an award-winningjournalist, best-selling
ghostwriter, and sought-aftermedia coach for corporate
(01:55):
clients and entrepreneurs.
She has two decades working asan editor and as a freelancer
for titles like Oprah, Glamour,Essence, Money, Health, and
Cosmopolitan.
Linya is also ghost-writtenhealth books for medical experts
and top creators that sold toBig Five and Boutique Publishing
Houses.
As a health expert who is also anationally certified health and
(02:16):
wellness coach, Linya hasappeared on the Today Show, Fox,
NPR, and more, drawing from herexpertise on camera and behind a
microphone.
She gives her clients the toolsto shine when they step into the
media spotlight.
She's expertly coached herentrepreneur clients, helping
them land media, prestigiousoutlets like Business Insider,
Well and Good, Fast Company, theHuffington Post, and more.
(02:38):
She lives in New York City, butloves traveling the globe.
Welcome, welcome, Linia Floyd.
Thank you so much.
And thank you to everybodylistening in today.
SPEAKER_05 (02:46):
I promise I will make it worth your while.
No pressure.
SPEAKER_06 (02:50):
Well, it's so fun because we love in our bios,
it's a lot about our accoladesas a professional.
And the great thing is, is wemay touch on that today.
But what we're really interestedin is the woman underneath that.
And we love to have a differentkind of conversation.
You've obviously had a lot ofexperiences speaking and being
interviewed.
(03:11):
So it'll be interesting to seeif you've had this kind of
conversation.
So we have to start off byasking you what is your
relationship to your innerrebel?
SPEAKER_05 (03:21):
My inner rebel is actually just getting started
for me.
Yes.
So my inner rebel has been going150 miles an hour for other
people for as long as I canremember.
I've always been someone who hasbeen the cheerleader, kind of
(03:44):
the second in command, theperson pushing other people up
into the spotlight.
Very much a supporting characterand doing everything that I
could with that inner rebelspirit in order to get people
where they wanted to be.
And it could be anybody.
I'm talking about theentrepreneurs that I've worked
with and the media coaching within order to get them and their
(04:06):
businesses into the spotlight.
I also do work with corporateorganizations in terms of the
media coaching that I do,getting people comfortable on
camera, getting peoplecomfortable talking to the
media, which can be scary.
I'm a friendly person in themedia, but I know that it can be
scary for people.
And that's what my inner rebelhas been really focused on for
(04:26):
so, so long.
But I am at this incrediblybeautiful place in my life where
I'm also able to get that innerrebel going for myself.
And I have been doing a lot morerecently in order to write
stories that I am personallypassionate about that reflect on
my life, expressing morevulnerability and expressing
(04:47):
more of my expertise withpeople.
So it's a little bit of a shift.
It's something that I have beendoing forever for other people
in almost every single aspect ofwork that I touch, whether it's
ghostwriting for people, whetherit's writing stories where I'm
translating what complicatedmedical experts are trying to
(05:08):
explain to the general public,whether it's the media coaching,
all of that has been so otherfocused.
But I'm getting to a place rightnow where I'm starting to do a
little bit more of that formyself, which is really
exciting.
But I still have plenty of timefor my amazing clients.
SPEAKER_06 (05:23):
I want to say something about the timing of
it.
And if this is something thatyou don't want to talk about,
let me know.
But I know a little bit aboutthe fact that you're actually
still in a deep season of takingcare of your parents.
100%.
So you are really in a season ofoutput and caregiving in a
different way.
So you spoke to how you caredfor your clients, and now you're
(05:45):
in the season that we'll all beat one day, which is caring for
our parents.
And so it's an interestingtiming that in the season of
lots of output for them, you'returning back your inner rebel on
you.
Did those two things haveanything to do with one another?
I would say yes.
SPEAKER_05 (06:04):
The first thing that I want to hit on that is so
important that you touched on isin terms of the caregiving, what
is so important but often getslost sight of the idea that if
you do not pour into yourselffirst, you will not be able to
pour into others.
And it sounds very cliche.
People say it all the time, butthen they say, yeah, yeah, yeah,
(06:24):
but I have to get these thingsdone for other people.
But truly, at the end of theday, if you are not there, if
you are not healthy enough, ifyou are not happy enough, if you
are not energetic enough inorder to be able to help other
people, then you're not going tobe able to do that work.
And you have to pour intoyourself first in order to be
able to give to other people.
(06:45):
So definitely there's been thatcoincidence of those things
happening within my life.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (06:52):
What I find so fascinating is that your gift is
to help people be visible and tobe seen and to step into the
spotlight.
And yet, you in your own lifehave taken this back seat.
And I really relate to thisactually because when I work as
a coach, but also just thingsthat have happened in my
personal life, I'm also acheerleader.
(07:14):
I also really love bringing outthe best in people and holding
them to their vision andwatching them then just like
zoom ahead.
And then I'm like, okay, bye.
And I felt like when's it myturn?
When does that spotlight thencome to me?
But also realizing it's a lotmore comfortable in the backseat
over here.
You know, the gift is seeingother people's potential, but
(07:37):
also where am I shying away?
SPEAKER_05 (07:39):
I'm so glad that you asked me about it.
I was, I came ready to talkabout this because I do think
that there are some generationalshifts that have happened over
time.
And that's what has reallyimpacted me.
So I was very intentional.
I always knew that I wanted tobe a writer.
Everything that I do right nowto this day is some variation on
that theme of writing and beingin the media.
(08:01):
Not a lot of people go toHarvard to get a degree in
English.
They go for other things thatare going to be vastly more
lucrative.
However, this was something thatI wanted to do.
Success for me was defined asbeing able to have a wonderful
life and I don't want to sayrich life, but to be able to be
able to do that as a writer, nothaving to compromise the thing
that I have been passionateabout literally since I was like
(08:24):
six years old.
And so once I left that, once Igraduated and I had to get a
job, that's where the compromisestarted to come in.
And that's when I entered thewonderful world of journalism,
because that's how I thought Iwas going to pay my bills, being
a great journalist, being agreat reporter, being a great
writer.
And I started working at one ofthe most amazing organizations
(08:45):
out there, the Associated Press,which is a wire service.
And what they teach you is to befair and to be balanced and to
be very fast with yourreporting, to be extremely
accurate with your reporting,and also that you are never part
of the story.
You're just not there.
Get the facts out there, but youdon't belong in the story.
So I started with thisincredible foundation in terms
(09:09):
of reporting and writing, butalso where there was zero space
for me.
You know, the space for you isin terms of what do I want to
report on?
What am I passionate about?
What do I want my beat to be?
But outside of that, you aretelling someone else's story.
You are holding up to somethingelse that is happening in this
world.
And that is just a pattern thatI fell into.
(09:31):
Now, if you ask somebody who'soutside of my generation,
someone who grew up withInstagram and other platforms on
social media, they very muchthink, what story can I tell?
What do people want to hearabout me?
What do I think about what'shappening?
That is not the foundation thatI started with.
And I carried those skills andthat silence, if you will, with
(09:52):
me for many years until thingsstarted to shift a little bit
more.
So that's why this is a littlebit of a later awakening for me.
And I will say, to your point,Jessica, there are a few things
that light me up more than beingable to sit down with a client,
somebody who's very anxiousabout getting in front of a
(10:12):
microphone, or somebody who flatout tells me I never want to do
television, or somebody whotells me that they don't have a
story, they don't have talkingpoints, they don't know what to
say.
To be able to give those thingsto them, to be able to pull back
a curtain and show those thingsto them and show them what they
do have inside of them, whatthey do have to speak about that
(10:32):
people genuinely care about,that they could actually get on
a stage or in front of amicrophone or in front of a
camera, and instead of beinganxious, be excited.
That feels amazing.
I love that.
I love that I can share thoseskills with other people.
And the transformation ispalpable.
The transformation is exciting,the transformation is visible,
(10:57):
and the transformationreverberates, right?
The transformation allows themto go out and then share their
knowledge, their messaging,their ideas with an exponential
number of people.
SPEAKER_04 (11:10):
But what has that transition felt like?
Because I imagine even thoughyou've been in the position of
supporting other people throughthat process, it's still
different.
And you still got to get intoall of those uncomfortable parts
of yourself and see where you'reholding back from stepping into
the light.
Absolutely.
I think I'm curious about therevelation, like the moment that
(11:30):
this started to shift, andyou're like, hmm, I actually
have something to say and I wantto be in the story.
It's my narrative too.
How coming out in that way hasfelt for you?
SPEAKER_05 (11:42):
So I can share two stories around there because
we're always growing, right?
We're always on these constantlyshifting sands.
And so I've had the joy ofexperiencing this more than
once.
So the very first time was whenI was working at 17 Magazine
many, many moons ago.
And I had the subscription tothat.
(12:02):
That's a big part of ourupbringing.
Yep.
100%.
I had this subscription also,and it's exactly the way that
you would imagine it.
Prom season, the hallways wereoverflowing with dresses and
beautiful shoes and jewelry.
And we'd get emails that werejust like, so Beyonce's gonna be
in the conference room atlunchtime.
You know, that kind of thingwould happen all the time.
(12:24):
It's my first concert.
Destiny styled.
But one of the things that Iremember most about my time at
17 was that we had a publicityproblem.
We had a ton of other magazinesthat were suddenly springing up
and they were appealing to ouraudience.
There was Teen People and Sassyand Teen Vogue and all of these
(12:45):
other magazines that were tryingto take our readership away from
us.
And we had to get morecompetitive.
And the way to do that was usingpublicity.
And so our director of mediarelations and PR would come and
she would stand in the doorwayof my office, and I would always
remember sitting at my computer,typing away, and then I would
see out of the corner of my eyethe silhouette of her standing
(13:06):
in the doorway of my office, andI'd be like, oh no.
She is gonna ask me to do a TVsegment, she's gonna ask me to
do radio, she's gonna ask me todo something, and I do not want
to do this.
And this was a long time ago.
This was way before I gotincredibly comfortable doing
these things.
But at the time, I did not wantto be in the spotlight.
I wanted to be behind thescenes, writing my stories,
(13:28):
interviewing teenagers,interviewing experts, everything
behind the scenes.
And here was this woman askingme, Hey, can you step in front
of a camera and represent thisentire magazine and get more
millions of readers reading ourcontent?
And I was truly terrified.
So I'd come up with theseexcuses.
Oh, I can't do that.
You know, I have a familyengagement or we're working on
this huge package with anational organization.
(13:50):
I just don't have time.
But she got me to do it a coupleof times.
But I was always terrified and Iwas always trying to keep these
excuses not to step into thespotlight in my back pocket.
And it wasn't until my next job,and they'd seen me on TV and
they were like, hey, she'spretty good.
And they said, We'd love you todo that kind of thing for our
magazine also.
And we're going to have you havea session with a media coach.
(14:14):
And I was like, Oh, what's that?
Oh, she's gonna help coach youso that you're gonna be your
best on camera and you can bemore comfortable and you'll know
what to say and when to say it.
And I thought, this soundsamazing.
And so I went to the meetingplace and I met this person and
we sat down and we did drills.
She put me on a fake camera andrecorded me.
And I asked her all thequestions that were giving me
(14:36):
anxiety, right?
What do I do if I stumble overmy words?
What do I do if they ask me aquestion that I don't know the
answer to?
What do I, what do I, what do I?
But being able to get all ofthat out and have somebody who
was extremely experienced giveme all of this information, I
cannot tell you thetransformation that took place.
Although I can tell you I wentfrom anxiety to excitement.
(14:58):
I had the tools that I needed.
All of a sudden I went from youdon't know what you don't know,
and anything could happen, andoh my God, let's just pray for
the best, to I actually do knowwhat can happen.
And I've prepared for all thesescenarios and I know exactly how
to step into this spotlight andto shine as my absolute best.
And it turned to something thatI absolutely dreaded, that I was
(15:19):
desperately clinging to thecurtain as somebody was trying
to pull me out onto a stage, tosomething that I would get super
excited about.
When will the talent car arrive?
I can't wait to get set down.
I can't wait for them to bringme down to channel four.
Like, let's do this.
I'm ready to go.
Who will be interviewing metoday?
I'm so excited.
Who will I get to meet?
That was the very first timethat I saw how exciting it could
(15:44):
be to move from behind thecurtain to in front of the
curtain and to get excited aboutgiving that opportunity to other
people.
It's one of the things that I ammost excited about in the media
coaching that I do because Iknow what it feels like to be
really scared and to not want tohave that opportunity, but then
to see what happens when you do,and to have your phone light up
(16:05):
with people texting you afteryou get off the set of the Today
Show and to go back to theoffice and hear that people have
been calling the magazine andthey have all these questions
about what you said.
So it's super exciting, but it'salso an opportunity.
I would get on these shows and Iwould share health information
that could change and savepeople's lives.
And that was an opportunity thatwas too big to pass up.
(16:29):
So being able to sit in thatspace of knowing not only am I
doing this thing that's going tohelp people, but it's also going
to be fun, was really powerful.
And all it took was help withpreparation from somebody, which
is exactly what I do now.
SPEAKER_06 (16:42):
I would add that that's not all because yes, that
was important, but you needed aninvitation.
You needed to be seen, youneeded somebody to see something
in you before you could see itin yourself and invite you into
it, first and foremost.
You said yes, which is reallybrave, but that was step one.
And I love that you shared, Iused to lie all the time to stop
(17:04):
being visible.
So like I've faked foodpoisoning and all kinds of
things to get out of visibility.
So like I love where you'relike, oh, I made up elaborate
lies to get out of speaking infront of rooms forever.
And now I love doing it.
So that was so resonant for me.
But I probably say this on everyepisode, but I'm gonna keep
saying it the power of beingseen because you need someone to
extract it out of you sometimes.
(17:24):
Be like, Linia, we want you todo this.
We see something in you.
And then you got the tools.
And then what I will say aboutthat is there was the relational
side of I got an opportunity topractice in a safe space where I
could speak out loud the thingsthat I was scared of, where my
shame was held, and I could in alow-stakes environment.
And this is why I do what I do,because I'm like, we need a safe
(17:45):
place to be seen, to practice,to fuck up, to be messy, to say
the things out loud that werelike, can I admit that I
literally don't know what I'mdoing?
Just have that place to bemessy.
So I just want to like namethose things because I think
that's so critical to be like, Ihad a place to practice,
somebody saw me and I could bemessy.
So then when I went out there, Iwas like, oh yeah, I'm prepared.
SPEAKER_05 (18:05):
And now you do that for other people.
Absolutely.
And it's so funny becausebecause I've been on the Today
Show multiple times, I'll havepeople call me and say, I just
got an opportunity to be on thetoday show.
I know that you've done it abunch of times.
I need you to train me.
I'm like, okay, no problem.
And we'll run through like mocksegments together and they'll
stumble on their first words.
And they'll say, Oh, Linia, I'mjust so nervous talking to you.
(18:27):
And I'm like, that's cool.
That's totally fine.
Be nervous talking to me rightnow.
We're gonna get all the nervesout so that once you actually
are standing on that stage andfiguring out which of the three
cameras you're supposed to belooking at and smiling, then
it's not gonna happen.
Let's do it here so it doesn'thappen there.
SPEAKER_06 (18:43):
I wanna think that I know the answer to this, but
what do you feel like people aremost afraid of around being
seen?
SPEAKER_05 (18:49):
Oh, around being seen in general?
SPEAKER_06 (18:51):
Well, when you're going on the Today show, like
you are a subject matter expert.
You could probably talk aboutthose health topics in your
sleep all day long.
So my guess is it's not the feararound like I can't speak on the
subject.
My guess is it's something else.
SPEAKER_05 (19:08):
It's different depending upon where someone is
in their career or theirentrepreneurial journey.
So if someone is more towardsthe beginning of their journey,
then I would say the number onefear is going to be around
perceived lack of expertise.
(19:31):
It sounds like I don't haveanything interesting to say, or
I don't know what my experttopics are, I don't know what my
expertise might be.
I don't know if I sound smart, Idon't know if I know more than
the average person about thisthing.
How do I make sure that Ipresent myself as somebody who
is?
Because I am having insecuritiesabout whether or not I really am
(19:52):
an expert.
And I'm using those quote marksbecause that's what people are
feeling, but it's not the case,right?
If you get an opportunity, ninetimes out of ten, it's because
you do know more than theaverage bear about the thing
that you've been asked to talkabout.
But we have these insecurities,we have the imposter syndrome,
all that weighing down.
And that's throughout yourcareer.
But if I had to choose, I wouldsay that's the number one thing
(20:15):
that people struggle with moretowards the beginning of their
career.
And I always hear, is what I'msaying interesting?
Do I sound smart?
Is this making sense?
That kind of thing.
People who are further along ontheir career journey or their
entrepreneurial journey, theyhave much more specific kind of
esoteric concerns aroundvisibility.
(20:36):
They know what their weak pointsare and they see them with a
laser focus.
Sometimes it's like the onlything that they see.
So they'll say things to melike, I know that I move my
hands too much, or I know that Ican come up looking really
intense, or I know that I speaktoo fast.
They're very specific things,right?
(20:58):
And me as a media coach,absolutely sitting there, will
be able to pick up on thosethings.
Either when I work with people,I'll watch or listen to their
past performance before I sitdown with them.
So I'll be able to pick up onthese things.
But what it's also so importantfor people to remember is that
yes, while it's important for usto do this work and get you to a
place where you're not doingthose things that are
(21:19):
distracting you or causing youfrustration or that you feel are
distracting, the average personwho is watching you on
television or listening to youon a podcast probably isn't
honing in on that thing that youare super self-conscious about.
But I still have to get you notself-conscious about it so that
you feel like you are showing upas your absolute best and so
that you can perform in a waythat is going to be impactful
(21:43):
for your audience.
SPEAKER_04 (21:44):
What I'm hearing is that whether you're at the
beginning of your career orlater in your career, it still
all comes down to the same humanplace because both of those
things seem to be about fear ofbeing misunderstood or fear of
being judged.
To put yourself out there meansthat either you're at risk of
(22:04):
the message not being clear andit being misconstrued, and
that's very vulnerable, or theyactually do see you, but they
don't like you.
Also very vulnerable.
So we want to be curated to acertain extent.
And I think it's this protectivepart of us that wants to protect
our image and protect the waythat we are visible, but that's
not always in our control.
(22:26):
So you sort of help with theelements that are to some degree
and to show up as confidently asyou can.
SPEAKER_05 (22:32):
Yeah.
And I do think that there is alot that is within our control,
right?
To a certain extent.
We can't control technicalmalfunctions, right?
And we can't control if the hostof a TV show asks us a question
that's like way out of leftfield.
But we can control how we answerthat.
We can control how we respond totechnical malfunctions.
(22:52):
There are all these brilliantways that we can navigate and
make our way through what areperceived difficult situations
so that we can shine as brightlyas possible.
Yeah, and put our best footforward in that scenario.
SPEAKER_06 (23:06):
Yeah.
I think it's the bridge between,I'm present to the words curated
and authenticity.
And as I'm listening to you, I'mlike, I can't wait to do more
media training with you.
When you have the tools to showup and own the spotlight, you
can be more authentic, even ifit's in a curated way.
Yes.
You're removing the bullshitthat gets in the way that keeps
(23:28):
you from able to just be you.
SPEAKER_04 (23:31):
I literally just wrote that down.
Sometimes the curation allowsyou to be more authentic.
SPEAKER_05 (23:35):
But I also want to toss out there, and it's
interesting, I do this with bothmy ghostwriting clients and with
my media coaching clients.
One of the questions that I askboth of those individuals is
give me three adjectives for theway that you would like to
sound.
What do you want people to thinkabout you after you walk off of
(23:57):
the stage or after the interviewis over or after they finish
reading the last page of yourbook?
And it's interesting becausesome people will want things
that are not necessarily how youthink of them.
Some people want to be funnierthan they are.
Some people want to seem morelike a best friend or a
girlfriend when in real lifemaybe they could be a little bit
standoffish, right?
(24:17):
And so there's a balance betweenthat authenticity and how people
actually want to come off.
Not necessarily in a nefariousway through the desire to be
heard, right?
If I can make you laugh, maybeyou'll lean in and pay attention
a little bit more to what I'msaying.
Yeah.
If it sounds like it's comingfrom your best friend instead of
(24:39):
coming from somebody who hasmultiple medical degrees and
could talk circles around, youknow, a lecture hall, then maybe
you're going to capture more ofwhat I'm saying and what I'm
sharing.
So that's one thing that I dowith my clients, and I encourage
people to do it themselves also.
Sometimes I'll actually evensend my clients just like a list
of adjectives, like which ofthese are jumping out at you in
(25:01):
terms of how you really want toshow up?
Because it can be hard forpeople to think about that.
A lot of times people justthink, I got an opportunity and
I just got to do my absolutebest.
Okay, but what does your bestsound like?
What does your best look like?
What does your best make peoplefeel?
SPEAKER_04 (25:16):
And when you spoke before about giving people this
health information, and that'ssuch an amazing opportunity,
that also reminded me, and itconnects to this, I think, of
what your deeper why is.
Like why are you there?
What are you trying tocommunicate?
And what is the service, theintent behind that?
And that if the why is veryclear, that also not only helps
(25:40):
how you want to show up and howyou want people to perceive you,
but can also, I think, overridethe anxiety at times when we're
so connected to the purposebehind it.
We make it more meaningful thanthe fear.
100%.
SPEAKER_05 (25:54):
The purpose is going to be able to drive us into
action.
The preparation, the workingwith a coach or getting
someone's help as a ghostwriteror what have you, that is what's
going to help you cross thatfinish line and show up.
SPEAKER_06 (26:09):
Don't you have a talk that you did for us, the
three Ps?
Wasn't it like purpose,preparation, and presence or
something?
Persistence.
Persistence.
I'm curious.
So your three adjectives, whenyou were sharing health
information as a subject matterexpert, you probably had three
ways that you wanted to sound.
Now you're shifting thenarrative to more of your
(26:31):
personal story, it sounds like.
So how has that shifted?
You were to name how you wantedto be perceived back then to how
you want to be perceived now asyou're sharing your own story.
Has that changed?
SPEAKER_05 (26:44):
Oh, radically.
Absolutely.
And to be fair, I still writelots of magazine articles.
I still, I still do thereporting side of things.
But as it starts to shift alittle bit, I'm writing in a
more vulnerable way.
I'm writing in a much morecreative way.
Going back to my associatedpress days, that was about
(27:06):
getting the information out asquickly as possible, as clearly
as possible, as accurately aspossible.
And I got to expand on that inmy magazine days, right?
Wire services are gettingmultiple stories out every
single day.
Magazines are producing storieson a weekly or a monthly basis.
So I got more time with that.
But the work that I'm doing now,definitely more vulnerability,
(27:28):
definitely a lot more creativityand fun and play to it as well,
and a different type ofenjoyment that comes out of it.
SPEAKER_04 (27:37):
So I do want to then circle back to that original
question, then, because you saidthere's two stories or two
phases.
And I imagine phase one is ohwow, I had fear of speaking, and
now I have the tools and theresources to get out there and
be in the media and speakpublicly.
But there's another dimensionwhen it gets personal.
Yes, absolutely.
So I'm curious about phase twoand what you are currently
(28:01):
experiencing as you come out inthis way.
SPEAKER_05 (28:04):
I am so glad that you asked because the timing
couldn't be more perfect.
In this phase two, it actuallyechoes a little bit of what
Melissa was saying about havingsomeone see something inside of
you or being in a space wheresomebody kind of is pulling
something out of you.
I decided this year to join awriter's group.
(28:26):
And I said, this is really gonnapush me to produce more of my
own writing, to hold myself moreaccountable.
I have an accountability partnerin the group.
It's been incredible.
And about a month or so ago, Iwas making my accountability
list for the week.
And I was just like, I just haveto start putting myself out
(28:46):
there.
Like, time's up.
Let's go.
We've been creating.
Now let's get some of thesecreations out of the door.
And I ended up sending a pitchthat was a very deeply personal
story to an outlet that I can'treally name just yet, but it's a
major media outlet thateverybody would recognize and be
very excited about.
(29:07):
And I wrote this pitch and Icould feel the hesitation in
clicking the send button.
It took me no time to write upthe pitch.
And I'll tell you why.
Because I had written more thanhalf of it seven years ago.
Let the file linger.
(29:28):
I was like, I'll come back tothis.
This is really deeply personal.
I don't know.
I'll come back to this.
And I didn't.
Year after year after year, itwas addressed to an editor who
no longer worked at the outletanymore.
I had to go find a new person tosend this out to.
But I said, we just gotta do it.
And I like telling this storybecause I feel like people
(29:50):
remember Lost.
There's a scene on Lost whereJack is talking to Kate, and
Jack is explaining that as amedical doctor, he made a
terrible mistake.
During a surgery and he nickedan artery and the patient was
going to bleed out within amatter of minutes.
And in that moment, he allowedhimself to be scared for like
five seconds.
And he counts really slowly tofive in the scene.
(30:12):
He says then after the fiveseconds were over, I just had to
get it done.
And he ends up fixing themistake.
The patient lives, the patientis completely mobile.
Everything is fine in the end.
And I always think about thatscene and how it's not that
you're not going to be scared.
It's not about not beingfearful.
It's always about feeling thefear and doing it anyway.
And I gave myself five secondsto be like, oh my God, I can't
(30:36):
believe you're doing this, butyou're gonna do it.
Five, four, three, two, one,click.
And then I just walked away frommy computer.
And about a week later, I heardfrom the editor and she was
like, This sounds so great.
I think this would be perfectfor our readership.
Let me pitch it to my editor andlet me get back to you.
Just hold tight.
And I was like, oh my God, thisis amazing.
(30:57):
I think this is happening.
And then I heard nothing.
SPEAKER_06 (30:59):
Are you still in the space of nothing right now?
Are you waiting?
So I sent a follow-up email.
Persistence.
This is the third P, everybody.
Or maybe the first P.
I don't know.
So there's my second email.
SPEAKER_05 (31:11):
Hey, just following up to see what happened.
And I didn't hear anything back.
And I thought, oh man, what abummer.
And I said, I'm gonna try onemore time.
And I did.
And she wrote me back right awayand she said, I'm so sorry.
It's just been really hectichere.
But I come bearing great news.
We would love for you to writethis piece for us.
That was yesterday.
SPEAKER_06 (31:29):
Hi, I mean.
Well, then what happened in yourbody?
Did you panic?
Were you like, I want to go backin my turtle shell, or were you
like ready?
SPEAKER_05 (31:37):
No, I was so ready and I was so excited because she
actually said I had offered todo some reporting in this story
and talk to some experts.
And she said, actually, we don'twant experts, we just want you
to talk about your personalexperience.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Is this in alignment?
And so, yes, going back topersistence, absolutely.
(32:00):
And in all fairness to myself,maybe seven years ago was not
the right time.
Maybe now was the right time.
But it has been ready all thistime.
It just needed a 5-4-3-2-1 clicksend, which happened, and then
everything started to fall intoplace.
And so I say that because Igenuinely believe that people go
to my website and they look atmy videos and they're like, oh
(32:22):
my God, she's in his Antelvin.
She doesn't know what it feelslike to be nervous about these
things.
Or my God, she worked in mediafor 20 years.
She doesn't know what it's liketo freak out before clicking
send and to worry, like, am Ibeing too vulnerable?
Are they even going to careabout this story?
Do I have anything to say?
Is this interesting at all?
Yeah, I know exactly what itfeels like.
I know how to push through it.
I help people do it all thetime.
(32:43):
And we have to give ourselvesthese opportunities.
We have to be persistent.
We have to be prepared.
And we have to know our purpose.
And I'm so excited to share thisstory.
Of course, I told my friendsimmediately.
I was like, I'm gonna be in,fill in a blank.
Tell, or we said hi.
Just kidding.
And they were like, what's itabout?
And I told them, and they werelike, oh my God, this is so
relatable.
You know, we all sit in thesespaces where we think I'm just
(33:04):
the lone person here having thissingular experience.
And it is never, ever the case.
Ever the case.
In fact, in all of my caregivingexperiences and trials and
tribulations, as frustrated as Iget, I always come back to this
reminder of I'm not the firstperson in the world to have this
(33:24):
issue.
And somebody else had to havefigured it out before me.
And I hop on Reddit, or I call adoctor, or I talk to a nurse, or
I talk to somebody else who's acaregiver.
And lo and behold, here comes asolution.
Right.
So we always have to rememberlike, we're not the only people
who have ever had thisexperience.
And there's somebody out therewho can help us.
There's somebody out there whocan help us shine.
(33:44):
There's somebody out there whocan help us find out what our
purpose is, what our talkingpoints are, what our messaging
is, what it is that we have toshare that is going to be of
interest to other people.
And I love that I get to dothat.
SPEAKER_06 (33:55):
Jess is about to jump through the screen.
I love watching Jess when she'sso excited about this
conversation.
It's so great.
I'm so excited.
You're so excited about whatLydia is saying.
SPEAKER_04 (34:06):
I love watching you while Lenny was talking.
Well, I really just want tocongratulate you.
So congratulations.
And I'm just so happy for you.
And I just think that's anamazing affirmation from life to
put your vulnerability out thereand get that response.
And good on you being persistentand following up.
I really want to acknowledge howimportant it is what you said
about feeling the fear and doingit anyway.
(34:27):
I mean, I think we're livinglife right when we're on the
edge of our comfort zone.
Like life should just feel alittle bit scary all the time.
That's how you know that you'regrowing.
But I also want to highlightthat moment of hesitation, just
in the spirit, like you said, ofbeing relatable and universal.
Like everybody is going to tuneinto this and feel this.
(34:49):
Do you understand what that fearwas?
What was the feeling behind thathesitation?
What was that fear?
What was that story, even thoughyou were able to move past it?
SPEAKER_05 (34:58):
Oh, absolutely.
It was you're not supposed to bethe center of the story.
The story is other people.
You are now delving into thisrealm of vulnerability, and
people are going to know moreabout you, and you're exposing
your soft parts to the worldnow, right?
And that can be really scary.
But at the same time, that isthe place where relatability
(35:22):
happens.
That's the place whereconnection happens.
That's the place where you helpother individuals who are going
through something similartransform.
Or even if the transformationisn't happening, just feeling
like you are not alone in thatexperience or realizing that you
are not alone in that experienceby seeing, reading, hearing,
(35:43):
watching somebody else talkabout it.
SPEAKER_06 (35:46):
What is your why that's so much bigger than your
fear?
What is, if you can disclose itat this point, what is the
impact that you're hoping tomake by telling this part of
your story and stepping intocenter stage?
Are you able to share that part?
SPEAKER_05 (36:00):
I can.
It is who I am.
I am a storyteller.
That is my purpose.
That is what I was put here todo.
That is what I've been doingsince I was six years old.
That is what I find tremendousjoy in.
And that is what has allowed meto have one of the things, one
(36:21):
of the things that has allowedme to have a tremendous impact
on other people.
And if we think about our timehere as using the tools that we
have been gifted and theopportunities that we have
sought out and made use of inorder to do all of those things,
(36:41):
then that's my responsibility.
That is my reason for being.
SPEAKER_06 (37:28):
Yeah, maybe it's an area of your life, but it's okay
if you can't say it.
SPEAKER_05 (37:32):
Um, it will ultimately be a book, a memoir
that I am writing, not justabout my experience, but
generationally the experiencesof my family.
SPEAKER_04 (37:45):
It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_06 (37:46):
The other thing that I love that you said is that I
wrote it seven years ago andthen it was like, oh, 5-4-3-2-1,
boop.
But I think because I knew aboutthe Nova for nine years before I
5-4-3-2-1 booked it, you know?
Yeah.
And so I think it's much longerthan that in the episode.
This is key for people becausewe have a knowing so much
(38:07):
earlier than we take action,oftentimes.
There's a deep knowing, whetheryou can name it, whether you've
written it clearly.
But you know, and it takes timebefore the action happened.
So there was a becoming of youfor seven years.
I'm going to just make a wildassumption that you needed to go
(38:28):
through all of the things youneeded to go through in order to
hit send seven years later.
And that becoming is so criticalto being ready.
I put it ready in air quotes,because we always are like, you
know, you're like clenching yourbutt cheeks as you hit send.
But I like to talk about thatbecause it's okay if you said
the thing out loud 10 years agoor five years ago or one year
(38:49):
ago and you didn't do it, justtrust that the becoming was
critical to what it is thatyou're here to do next.
I absolutely agree.
SPEAKER_05 (38:59):
And it's all part of the process.
Yeah.
Nobody leaps to the top, I mean,you know, a superhero, but
nobody leaps to the top of thestaircase.
You take it one step at a time.
Maybe you take it two steps at atime, but you're not gonna just
transport yourself to the top ofthe staircase.
SPEAKER_06 (39:14):
As an efficiency junkie, I want to, though.
I want to be like, I mean, weall do.
We all how do I jump all of thesteps?
I don't want to go one at atime.
I want to go 25 at a time.
Fly to the roof.
Yeah.
Fly to the roof.
I want to fly to the roof asquickly as possible.
What were you gonna say, Jess?
SPEAKER_04 (39:28):
Well, I just really appreciate this aspect of the
conversation, and you've touchedon it a number of times around
training.
And I think sometimes we go to acoach for training, sometimes
life trains us.
But I think we have thisexpectation of ourselves that we
should just know how to dothings, especially when it just
is about showing up and beingourselves or speaking on camera
(39:50):
or whatever it is.
I know as an actor, because I'man actor as well, I need
rehearsal.
I need that time to getsomething in my body and to
spend time relaxing into it sothat it can be effortless and to
give ourselves the grace, bothin media and in putting
ourselves in the public eye.
Like it takes a certain amountof capacity for pressure to be
(40:11):
in the spotlight, to hold thatmuch and still deliver.
That is just a nervous systemthing that we have to build
sometimes.
And then also life is gonna beputting us through those
trainings all the time in orderto get us ready to do the five,
four, three, two, one boop, youknow, and and step into the next
incarnation of self.
SPEAKER_05 (40:29):
I think you're absolutely right.
And I want to add to that thatnot only do we expect ourselves
to be able to do things, we alsoexpect ourselves to be able to
just figure anything out.
Just, okay, I'm just gonna watcha bunch of videos, read a bunch
of books, da-da-da-da.
And I'm not discounting thatpeople are very smart and can do
(40:50):
all these things, but at whatcost?
Right?
If this isn't something that youhave some expertise around, and
an hour of working with somebodycould make a radical
transformation that is specificto your particular experience,
then why put the bootstrap?
I'm gonna figure it out on myown, pressure on yourself, and
(41:10):
why not just ask for some help?
SPEAKER_06 (41:13):
We were just talking about that.
We had a ANOVA event rightbefore this, and the theme of
this month is inclusiveleadership.
And so the question that we didbreakout groups, I can't
remember the exact phrase, butit was all about asking for help
inside of leadership.
And what does it mean, and howcan that enhance your
leadership?
Because the theme of the quarteris collective empowerment.
(41:33):
So it was all about how doesgetting support actually enhance
your leadership?
And it was such a beautifuldialogue because we're taught
fake it till you make it, andyou gotta be the expert, and
don't let anybody know that youdon't know what you're doing.
And it's so the opposite of howwe need to be really, because
there is something on Vicky,Vicky Hughes on her LinkedIn the
(41:55):
other day said, instead of fakeit till you make it, brave it
until you believe it.
I was like, love brave it untilyou believe it, because that's
more what it is.
And when you brave it, you askfor support.
When you brave it, you beafraid.
When you brave it, you say thethings you're scared of out
loud.
When you brave it, you mightactually need to take time where
you take that breath and thenyou do the scary thing.
(42:17):
And so I love just being able tonot know totally what you're
doing and phone a friend becauseguess what?
We're all real happy to receivethat phone call.
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (42:26):
We love talking about community a lot on Inter
Rebel.
It's so important.
And you mentioned even thewriter's group, and I had the
thought at the time about justinserting yourself in spaces
where you're held accountable,where people see you, where
people support you.
Melissa, you were talking abouthow important it is to be seen
and recognized and called out toshare our gifts.
(42:46):
Not everyone listening has hadthat experience, but we can seek
out those groups, those peoplewho can help nurture that.
You know, we need to be in thoseenvironments.
So I just noted that as part ofyour story.
It's a great way to move andtransition out of one phase to
another, is like, oh, I'm readyto tell my story.
How do I find a space wherethat's safe to explore?
SPEAKER_06 (43:09):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (43:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (43:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (43:11):
So what are you most excited about now?
You just got this big newsyesterday.
What feels possible now that youknow that this is happening?
SPEAKER_05 (43:19):
I'm excited about this story.
That is the thing that makes memost excited right now is
finishing that story and gettingit out into the world.
And I'm really curious what thereaction is going to be because
it's unlike anything that I'veever written before.
SPEAKER_04 (43:37):
Oh, that's a really beautiful response because to
arrive at a place in yourselfwhere you can be vulnerable and
be excited for that kind offeedback, not knowing what it
will be, is I think actually theplace we need to arrive at when
we put ourselves out there, thatwe're not worried about the
perception that we're like, ooh,what are people gonna think?
This is so cool.
SPEAKER_06 (43:57):
So good for you.
So, what would you say to thewoman that's got her finger on
send, terrified to hit thebutton, standing on the edge of
her next chapter?
What do you say?
SPEAKER_05 (44:10):
Five, four, three, two, one.
Send.
SPEAKER_06 (44:14):
That's it.
Just do it.
Amazing.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for being here, Linya.
We're so excited for this.
I can't wait till you get totell us what it is.
Oh, I will to be continued.
Very excited to share that witheverybody.
SPEAKER_04 (44:29):
We can't wait, and we'll definitely be sharing it
with our listeners when it's outthere.
So thanks for sharing your heartand your wisdom and your story.
It's really inspiring andspecial.
Really appreciate you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_05 (44:40):
And thank you to everybody who listened in today.
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