158: How to Know if it's a Setback or a Life Transition

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Ever felt like you were finally making progress, only to be hit with something that felt like a setback? Whether you're moving through divorce, a career shift, or stepping into a new phase of identity, remember: a perceived setback doesn’t mean  growth hasn’t happened. It’s just part of the process.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why transitions often feel messy and non-linear—and why that’s normal
• How spring snow is the perfect metaphor for personal growth during uncertain times
• Ways to reframe discomfort as a sign of progress, not regression
• Real-life examples of transitions like divorce, career changes, and empty nesting
• How to honor your growth even when things feel hard

"The snow doesn’t mean that the growth of the daffodils hasn’t happened. Spring is still on its way."

Challenge for the Week
Reflect on your current season of life. Where have you seen growth—even if things still feel uncertain? Take a moment to honor how far you’ve come. And if someone in your life is going through a similar transition, reach out and share your journey. Connection creates strength.

Work With Me
Are you in the middle of a life transition and craving clarity, support, and a safe place to land? I’m currently offering six-week coaching packages tailored to your personal situation. Let’s work together to find your footing, nurture your growth, and create space for what’s next. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe
Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss future episodes that support you in your healing, growth, and inner work—especially if you’re listening on platforms that are phasing out auto-downloads. You won’t want to miss what’s coming next.

Links Mentioned in This Episode

• Work with me: http://www.maryannwalker.life
• Follow me on Instagram for more support: https://www.instagram.com/maryannwalker.life/
• Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryannwalker.life
• Follow mw on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maryannwalker.life

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Well, hello and welcome back.
My name is MaryAnn Walker.
You are watching and listeningto the inner work with MaryAnn
Walker Podcast, where we explorewhat does it mean to show up for
yourself, to trust yourintuition and navigate life with
grace, even when it feels messy.
And for those of you watching onYouTube, you're getting really
raw and real maryAnn, I haven'tdone my makeup yet.
My hair's a little bit crazybecause I've been out walking in

(00:20):
the snow.
Yes, walking in the snow.
We're gonna get into that injust a minute.
Um, but yeah, I just reallywanted to get on here and share
some messaging around lifetransitions with you.
As I was walking in the snow inlate April, I was realizing
that, you know, I was feeling alittle bit discouraged.
I've already planted my seeds,I've packed up my winter gear.
I thought that my optimism wouldwin over mother nature and that

(00:45):
it would just get progressivelywarmer until summer was finally
here.
But as evidenced by the snow,that's not what happened.
And it got me thinking aboutlife transitions because what is
spring and what is fall?
But it's a transition timebetween the seasons.
So spring is the transitionbetween winter and summer, which

(01:05):
means some days it's gonna feelmore like winter, and some days
it's gonna feel more likesummer.
But summer is coming.
And as we keep that in mind withour personal life transitions,
it can help us to be a bit morecalm and a bit more focused and
significantly less discouraged.
Now when I looked out at mygarden, I could see that, you

(01:25):
know, my daffodils have alreadycome up.
I've got some beautiful grapehyacinth coming up.
There's a lot of plants thathave already come up, and it was
kind of discouraging to see themcovered up by the snow.
But as I looked closer, theykind of liked it.
They looked really cute andtheir snowy coats and I think
that sometimes we get it in ourhead that when snow happens,
it's going to negate all of thegrowth that's already happened,

(01:47):
and that's why we're reallyfeeling discouraged.
We're really feeling like, no,but this shouldn't be happening.
And when we're resisting it,that's when we're getting a lot
more uncomfortable.
And I had to remind myself thatno, all of the flowers that are
popping up right now are onesthat are actually made to endure
this season.
It's going to be okay.
And the snow doesn't mean thatthe growth hasn't happened.

(02:09):
That growth has already happenedand it's going to be okay.
And life transitions can be alot like that.
The old season is over.
You've already made the changes.
You want to feel freedom and thejoy of your new life, but
sometimes then a cold front willcome in.
Something that feels a whole lotlike a setback.
For example, I'm not going to begardening and raking today.

(02:32):
I might in fact be shoveling.
We'll have to see.
Hopefully we don't get enough Ihave to shovel.
I think it should melt quickenough, but we really don't
know, right?
So it might kind of be a littlebit of a detour of plans or
rather a delaying of planstemporarily.
But it doesn't mean that you'renot making progress.
It doesn't mean that you'regoing backwards.
That discomfort.
It doesn't mean that you haven'tgrown.

(02:52):
It doesn't mean that you are notready, and it definitely does
not mean that summer isn'tcoming.
So I wanna share with you a fewexamples of life transitions to
just kind of illustrate a littlebit that it can be uncomfortable
and that that's okay.
That that's what it looks likeas we transition into a new
season, that it's not alwayslinear, but that doesn't mean

(03:13):
we're not experiencing growth.
So my first example is divorce.
Divorce is a powerfultransition, and whether the
decision was yours, theirs, or amutual decision, it is the
ending of a chapter where youonce saw yourself as part of a
unit.
And when that identity fallsaway, it can feel like you're
being dropped into winterwithout a coat.

(03:33):
You might even wonder, well, whoam I now?
What does my life look likewithout this relationship?
Is there life and love afterthis?
And maybe just as you'restarting to feel free, maybe
even hopeful, then there's aspring snow.
Maybe it shows up in the form ofa memory, a wave of loneliness,
an awkward conversation withsome mutual friends of your
previous relationship.

(03:54):
Maybe it's a bank accountreminder or a really
discouraging date as you'restepping back into the world of
being single, but somethingmakes you feel like you've maybe
slid backwards.
But you haven't.
This transition, while it cansometimes feel cold and
unfamiliar, it is creating spacefor something beautiful.
It's creating space forrediscovering self.

(04:16):
And yeah, it's messy, it's real,but it's also incredibly
empowering because this is yourchance to figure out who you are
apart from anyone else, andthat's a sacred work.
Another common transition isshifting career paths.
So whether it's starting yourown business, returning to work
after a long break, or steppinginto a completely new industry,

(04:39):
it can feel like you're steppinginto a whole new identity and it
can feel a little bit jarring attimes.
You might feel excited one dayand then completely insecure the
next day.
Maybe you've been successful inone area of your life for years.
And feeling like a beginner.
Again, it doesn't always feelgood.
You prefer to feel like anexpert, and that's totally
human.

(04:59):
And also feeling a little bitinsecure as you're learning new
things, it doesn't erase thegrowth that is already happening
for you.
Your discomfort does not meanthat you are not capable.
You are not starting fromscratch.
Your brain is going to want totell you that you are now
starting from scratch becauseyou had a little snow in April,
right?
That's not true.
Don't believe everything youthink.

(05:21):
It doesn't mean that you'restarting from scratch.
You are in fact starting fromexperience.
And while you might occasionallysee reminders of who you once
were, it doesn't mean that youare the version that you once
were.
It doesn't mean that you'removing backwards.
It just means that you're seeingthings more clearly.
Now you're seeing your pastpitfalls a little bit more

(05:42):
clearly so that you don't repeatthem, and that's a good thing.
There is significant beauty inbeing a beginner and opening
yourself up to learning more newthings and being brave enough to
pivot when you realize that yoursoul is calling you.
Elsewhere.
So now let's talk about anotherkind of transition, becoming an
empty nester.

(06:03):
Maybe for years your life mayhave revolved around your kids,
their schedules, their needs,their milestones, and then
suddenly the house is so quietand yeah, you're proud of them
in their accomplishments.
You're really happy for them tobe stepping into adulthood and
finding their own voice andtheir own independence.
But occasionally you might findyourself sitting in that silence

(06:23):
and thinking, okay, now what?
Now that my friend is anotherform of self differentiation.
It's reclaiming your ownidentity outside of being mom or
dad.
It's remembering who you areoutside of who you've been to
others.
Now, this might mean that you'rean empty nester and the children

(06:43):
have left.
But also I work with a lot ofcaregivers who are caregiving
for other adults for maybe theirparents, and then that season
has changed.
Maybe they've gone into a carefacility, maybe they're no
longer here.
But when you have identified sostrongly as the caregiver for so
long, it can be hard.
It can be a interestingtransition to navigate into that

(07:04):
self differentiation and that,that finding your own identity
again.
And it can feel a bit lonely atfirst, but it's also a beautiful
invitation to reimagine yourlife, to explore new interests
that you maybe weren't able toexplore before because you were
a caregiver.
It gives you an opportunity toinvest into your own joy.

(07:25):
You're not losing your role, youare expanding your personal
identity.
So here's the thing that I hopethat you'll remember.
Transitions are not alwayslinear and they're not always
clean, right?
How much mud am I going to beexperiencing outside because of
this snow, right?
It can be a little messy, it canbe a little bit yucky at times,

(07:47):
and it's not always comfortable.
And so notice, right?
You might be blossoming in onearea while you're simultaneously
grieving in another area.
You might feel so ready for thenext chapter, and also you might
find yourself crying from timeto time over the last season of
life.
That's not weakness, that'stransition, and that's you

(08:09):
expressing your own humanity.
So if you were in the middle ofa life transition right now and
wondering if you've taken awrong turn because things feel a
little bit hard right now, Iwant you to just pause for a
minute.
Take a deep breath.
And look at how far you've come.
Look for that growth.
Look for those daffodils andgrape hyacinths that are popping
up because just like springsnow, the discomfort that you're

(08:32):
feeling today, it's not erasingyour progress.
It's just a part of the process.
You are still growing and summeris still coming.
Now if this episode hasresonated with you, I would love
for you to think about somebodyelse who you know who might be
experiencing a similar lifetransition and share this with
them.

(08:52):
Ask them what they have learnedon their own personal journey,
create that community.
There is so much to be learnedfrom finding other people that
have been on a similar path andlearning from their experience.
And if you're struggling to findsomeone who has experienced your
personal transition or somethingsimilar.
I encourage you to come and workwith me.
Right now I'm offering six weekpackages where we can work

(09:13):
one-on-one with each otheraround your specific situation.
And honestly, I think you justmight be blown away by how much
we can accomplish in just sixweeks together.
So come and work with me.
Create a community, but findsome way to find that support
during these seasons oftransition.
Take care of your heart, protectyour energy, and trust that your

(09:35):
new season is on its way.
Summer is coming and it justmight be closer than you think.
All right.
I hope you have a great week andlet's talk soon.
Bye now.