July 31, 2025 • 15 mins
What if what’s happening outside of you is just a reflection of what’s going on inside of you? As a coach for helpers, healers, and recovering people-pleasers, I’ve seen how self-limiting beliefs quietly shape our reality and block us from manifesting the life we truly want.
In this episode, we’ll unpack the limiting beliefs that may be keeping you stuck—and I’ll guide you through a powerful (but simple) process to shift your mindset, challenge old stories, and begin creating lasting change. Whether you're wondering how to change your life completely or just how to feel better in your current season, it all starts with changing what you believe.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- How your internal beliefs shape your external reality
- Why self-limiting beliefs often create self-fulfilling prophecies
- Real-life stories that show how our beliefs keep us stuck
- How to change your beliefs and rewire your mindset
- A journaling practice to support manifesting a more aligned life
- Why taking ownership of your beliefs is the first step toward how to change your life for the better
Challenge for the Week:
- Identify one limiting belief that’s been shaping your reality
- Write it down and get honest about what it’s been creating
- Create a new, empowering belief to replace it
- Find 3 reasons that belief is already true in your life
- Read, breathe into, and feel that belief daily
Work With Me:
If you're tired of feeling stuck and you're ready to change your life from the inside out, I’d love to support you. Book a free 20-minute clarity call, and we’ll explore what’s holding you back and how to shift the beliefs that are keeping you in patterns you didn’t choose.
✨ I'm currently offering 6-week 1:1 coaching packages where we’ll dive deep into the limiting beliefs shaping your life and create space for growth, clarity, and connection.
🎯 Ready to reserve your 6-week package? Reach out here
Don’t Forget to Subscribe:
Be sure to follow the podcast so you don’t miss next week’s episode. We’ll keep exploring emotional boundaries, mindset shifts, and how to change your life completely—especially for those who feel deeply and love big.
Let’s Stay Connected:
📱 Instagram: @maryannwalker.life
📘 Facebook: MaryAnnWalker.Life
🎵 TikTok: @maryannwalker.life
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello, welcome back.
(00:01):
My name is MaryAnn Walker andI'm the life coach for the
helpers, the healers, and therecovering people pleasers.
And today I wanna start with aquestion that might feel a
little bit uncomfortable toexplore in the beginning, but it
can also be incrediblyempowering.
And here's the question.
What if what is happeningoutside of you is just a
reflection of what is happeninginside of you?
(00:21):
And this is such an interestingthing, right?
Because what happens is we wantto take credit and
accountability.
When things are going well, wethink, yes, I created this, I
manifested this.
This is amazing.
But when things aren't goingwell, we tend to resist the idea
that it was self-created.
We tend to resist the idea that,okay, well maybe I do have a
piece to own in this, and maybeon the outside then you might
(00:43):
seem super optimistic.
You're kind, you're nice topeople.
You say the right things, youcheck all of the boxes, but on
the inside, then you might befeeling really discouraged,
disconnected, and maybe evenhopeless.
So if deep down you're feelingfrustrated, for example, by
non-reciprocal relationships, ifyou're thinking, well, I'm never
going to find true love andconnection, if you're thinking,
well, my career is never goingto take off, then here's the
(01:06):
hard truth is those thoughts areprobably going to be creating
more of the same thing for you.
And this isn't because you'rebroken.
It's not because you're failing,but it's because what we
believe...
what it is that we reallybelieve deep down, not what it
is that we tell others that webelieve, is going to be how it
,is that we're showing up in theworld.
That's going to be what it isthat we are creating.
The brain's job is to look forevidence that whatever it is
(01:28):
that we're thinking about istrue.
So if you're continuallythinking about how horrible your
life is, then your brain isgonna continue to look for
evidence of how horrible yourlife is.
So let me kind of use just a fewexamples to kind of show you how
our thoughts can create ourreality.
First we'll talk about Pam.
So Pam is just going through themotions in her marriage.
She isn't feeling connected.
(01:48):
She actually believes thatthings are never going to
change.
She's feeling very resigned inrelationship, so she doesn't
change anything, right?
She and her husband still do theho-hum date night of getting
takeout and watching TV at home.
They continue to have surfacelevel conversations, not about
their hopes and dreams andadventures that they might wanna
go on together, but instead,their conversations are limited
to work the kids and homeprojects that they need to get
(02:11):
done that weekend.
And every time that one of thesethings happens, then she says to
herself, mm.
I knew it.
I knew that this was gonnahappen.
I knew that this is what he wasgonna choose for date night.
I knew that's what we're goingto talk about.
It's kind of like aself-fulfilling prophecy, right?
But at the same time, she isn'tplanning a more connective date
night.
She isn't talking about herhopes and dreams and adventures
(02:33):
that she thinks that the two ofthem might enjoy together.
She's not talking about othersubjects outside of kids and
work and home projects.
So in other words, she's notcreating change, and that means
that essentially she's choosingto remain in discontent.
But this is all because of thethought that she's having
inside, which is things arenever going to change.
It's impacting how it is thatshe's showing up, which is
(02:55):
creating her external reality.
Let's talk about anotherexample, and this time we're
gonna talk about Jim from theoffice because I think that the
office is hilarious.
So Jim is really embarrassed totell people what it is that he
does for work.
He doesn't want to work at apaper company and he doesn't
want to be a ground flooremployee.
He wants something morefulfilling.
He says he wants a job wherehe's proud to tell other people
(03:18):
what it is that he does for aliving, but deep down he doesn't
think that he'd be successful atit.
He doesn't think that he has theeducation to move on from the
ground floor, so he just staysstuck and because he believes
that he will always have a deadend job and will never be
successful.
Then he never progresses in hiscareer.
He's not applying for jobs, he'snot going back to school.
(03:39):
He's not even applying to moveup the ranks in his current
company, but instead he's justreinforcing his belief that I'm
never gonna amount to anythingand I guess I'm just gonna work
at a paper company forever andbe unfulfilled.
Okay.
Now let's use an example ofJudy.
Judy wants to have more balancedand fulfilling friendships.
She wants a friend that she canshare secrets with, somebody
that totally gets her andunderstands her, but all that
(04:01):
she can think about is all ofthe ways that her friends are
not showing up for her.
She focuses on how long it'sbeen since they've initiated
getting together.
When she gets off of an hourlong phone call with a friend,
she focuses on the one sentencethat was said during that whole
hour that didn't feel verysupportive for her.
She ignores the other 59 minutesand is focusing on that one
minute, she's using all of thisas evidence that her friends
(04:24):
will never be able to show upfor her in the way that she
would like, and so she staysstuck.
She stops initiating.
She now seems to be resigned tounfulfilling relationships.
So even though she says that shewants more, her internal world
is creating her external world,which is keeping her stuck in
her friendships.
You're starting to see thepattern here, so take a moment
(04:45):
right now to really think aboutwhat is it that you're thinking
about inside in your day-to-daylife?
And this might be, okay, what isit that I'm ruminating on?
What is it I'm believing?
What is it that's happening forme on the inside?
Who am I resenting right now?
Use all of that as informationto identify what is it that I'm
actually believing on theinside.
(05:06):
Now I'm gonna share a few commonlimiting beliefs as well as what
they might be creating for you.
And as I read these, I want youto really think about, is this
something that I'm believing formyself?
And maybe it's gonna sparksomething you're like, well, I
don't quite believe that, but Ido believe this.
Notice that as it's coming upfor you.
Okay, so here's a few of'em.
Love and affection must beearned.
(05:27):
Now this limiting belief, itdrives people pleasing and often
creates one-sided non-reciprocalrelationships.
If they're upset, it must be myjob to fix it.
This thought often leads toover-functioning and ultimately
burnout.
My needs aren't that important.
Or on the other side it might betheir needs are more important.
(05:49):
Now, this often prevents us fromactually seeking out support
from stating boundaries or evenacknowledging what it is that we
might actually want inrelationship.
I'll never find a relationshipwhere I feel seen safe and
valued.
This belief, may keep yousettling for breadcrumbs or keep
you with a misaligned partner.
If I become successful, otherpeople will abandon me.
(06:09):
Now, this thought is more commonthan you might think, and it
creates a lot of fear andtension in relationship and also
really keeps you small andprevents you from actually
working towards things that youreally want out of life.
And that really leads into thisnext one.
It is safer to stay small thanto risk being rejected Again,
this one is going to keep yousmall.
(06:31):
It's going to prevent you fromputting yourself out there and
actually finding more.
Uh, I'm too old.
It's too late for me.
There's many, many versions ofthis one, and again, that's
going to keep you feelinghelpless and stuck.
So notice if any of those reallystood out to you, if the energy
of them was a bit louder.
If you found yourself thinking,oh yeah, of course that one's
true, and then I really want youto sit with that sentence and
(06:52):
see what it is that that mightbe creating for you.
This might be really hard tohear, but the beliefs that I
just read to you, they'rekeeping you in a victim mindset.
Even if you're smiling on theoutside, even if you feel like
you're really self-empoweredwhen you have those thoughts
coming in, it is a victimmindset and it's going to keep
you stuck.
When you're operating from thatplace, then what is it that
(07:14):
you're attracting?
You're not going to beattracting abundance.
You're going to be attractinglack.
You're going to be attractingnegativity and resentment.
You are gonna be attractingdisconnection, frustration, and
more of the same dynamics thatyou really don't actually want
consciously.
And as hard as it can be toaccept that, then this is
something that your mind hasactually created.
Your outside is reflecting yourinsides, and this isn't
(07:38):
intentional.
It's not because you want tosuffer.
But essentially by not changingyour thoughts or your actions,
then you are essentiallychoosing for things to remain
the same.
So the first step is to observeyour thoughts, and then the
second is to take radicalownership of those thoughts.
Now, let me be clear that thisis not about blaming yourself
for your own circumstances, butit's about empowering yourself
(08:00):
to change your circumstances.
Einstein once said, you cannotsolve a problem with the same
mind that created it.
So if you want new results, ifyou want something new out of
life, you need a new mindset toback it up.
Now I wanna share with yousomething that I've started
doing that has been very helpfulfor me.
And while this does sound verysimple, it is not always easy.
(08:23):
In fact, I'm often taking thesethings to my coach.
I meet with my own coach once aweek and she really helps me to
dissect some of these thoughtsand see things a bit more
clearly,because when we have alot of emotion behind something,
when we have believed somethingfor years, possibly even our
whole lives, we just accept itas truth.
We don't want to challenge it.
(08:44):
We can't see that there's anyway outside of that.
And having somebody outside ofyou can be extremely helpful
when it comes to actuallyacknowledging, okay, what is
this creating for me and what doI want to intentionally create
instead?
So what I've started doing iswriting down my old thoughts or
the current thoughts that I'mreally believing that are
limiting me right now.
(09:05):
I'm writing down my limitingbeliefs and getting very clear
and descriptive as to what thatis creating for me.
And then I'm writing down somenew thoughts, some affirmations
that are more rooted in truth.
And then I intentionally lookfor at least three reasons why
that new belief is already truefor me.
Why it's already real in my lifeand then I read them.
(09:29):
I feel into them.
I breathe into them every singleday.
I breathe into what it is that Iactually want every single day.
And every time I do that, thevolume is turned up on what it
is that I want to create.
And as a side effect, the volumeis turned down on the things
that I'm wanting to minimize outof life.
So let me kind of share a fewexamples with you as to what
this might look like.
(09:49):
And we're just going to kind ofexpand on the examples from
earlier.
So remember Pam, she's the onewho's going through all of the
motions in her marriage andshe's feeling a lot of
disconnect.
And one of her thoughts is, Iwill never experience the
connection that I'm seeking withmy husband.
When she is thinking that she'sresigned, she's not challenging
the status quo.
She's not planning connectivedates or starting interesting
(10:12):
conversations, and this iscreating a future where she will
not ever experience theconnection that she's seeking
with her husband.
So now let's flip the script.
And remember, you need to makeit believable so that you can
look for evidence.
So it might be quite a leap tojust start thinking, oh, I'm
super connected to my spouse.
So if you're having a hard timecoming up with an alternative
thought, then try adding insomething like I'm practicing or
(10:35):
I'm starting to notice in frontof your belief.
So, for example, she might think"I'm starting to notice positive
changes in my relationship withmy husband." Then the key is to
actively look for at least threethings that back that up.
So that could be anything from,"Hey, he really listened to me
that day when I got home fromwork, and he asked some great
follow-up questions." Or itmight be,"oh, I didn't have to
(10:57):
ask him to take the trash out.
That's great." So just startlooking for evidence that there
are some positive changeshappening, and then celebrate it
and you will start to see moreof that in your life.
Okay, now let's use the exampleof Jim.
So Jim is resigned to being apaper salesman forever.
First, what is that creating forhim?
He's embarrassed to talk aboutwhat he does for a living.
(11:17):
So he's avoiding meeting newpeople.
This is limiting his sociallife.
He's also looking for reasons ormaybe excuses as to why he can't
do anything else.
There's no other jobs available.
It would take too long to goback to school and get a degree.
I'm too old for anythingdifferent, but all of those
things are keeping him stuck.
So after we get super clear onwhat is it that that is creating
(11:38):
for you, then we can start tochallenge those thoughts.
So what if instead he flippedhis thought to, I am working to
better my situation every singleday.
Now with that thought, not onlyis he more grateful for his
current job and paycheck, but hemay also start to see other
evidences of growth.
He might start to notice whenopportunities arise, like a
(11:58):
business course that's nowavailable at the local community
college.
Maybe his work ethic may changefrom being off task and wasting
time to having more drive andambition, knowing that that
drive and ambition will lead himtowards greater things.
And how might that impact hislevel of success?
How might changing that internalthought and looking for
evidences that it's alreadytrue, how might that impact his
(12:19):
external world?
All right, and now Judy, whenJudy is thinking about how
unfulfilling her friendshipsare, what might that be creating
for her?
She may look for ways that herfriends have failed her.
She might be reliving thoseexperiences in her mind.
She might be complaining to herhusband or her coworkers about
how terrible her friends are.
She probably isn't showing up asa very good friend either, but
(12:39):
instead she's showing up aspretty judgemental.
She's judging people beforeshe's even gotten to know them.
She's not making new friends.
She's refraining from sharingany vulnerabilities, and all of
these things are really limitingher personal connection.
So what might happen if sheintentionally shifted her
internal thought and looked forevidence that that new thought
were true?
How might things change for herif she shifted her new thought
(13:01):
to, I am building a beautifulcommunity?
Now, she might not only be morelikely to look for ways that her
friends are currently showing upand checking in on her, but
she's also more likely to reachoutside of herself, to go to new
events, to connect socially, andit's all because she changed her
thought about her friendships to"I am building a new and
(13:22):
beautiful community." So here'smy invitation to you.
What if today you sat down andlooked at what's really going on
inside of you?
And then you ask yourself, isthis the energy that I want to
project out into the world?
And if not, what is it that youwant instead?
(13:42):
Get very clear on what you wantyour new belief to be, and then
look for three evidences thatthat is already true.
You do not need to fakepositivity.
You don't need to forcegratitude.
You just need to find one degreeof truth and a better story, and
then practice feeling into thevibration of that new belief.
You can have a life that youtruly love.
(14:03):
And managing your mind is thefirst step towards getting
there.
If you would like help andsupport in both identifying your
limiting beliefs and shiftingthem into something that can
really create more lasting andpositive change for yourself,
come and book a free claritycall with me.
This is just a 20 minute callwhere we can chat about what's
coming up for you and see whatit is that's getting in your
(14:24):
way.
Maybe even gain some clarity asto how this is self-created, and
help you to feel a little bitmore empowered about how you can
create some lasting change foryourself.
So click the link in the shownotes.
You can book your free claritycall now.
I would love to support you onyour journey back to
self-empowerment, connection andpersonal growth.
So until next time, take care ofyourself.
(14:45):
Be sure to mind your inner worldbecause it is creating
everything else around you.
Alright, I'll see you next week.
Have a great one.
Bye now.
Hello, welcome back.
(00:01):
My name is MaryAnn Walker andI'm the life coach for the
helpers, the healers, and therecovering people pleasers.
And today I wanna start with aquestion that might feel a
little bit uncomfortable toexplore in the beginning, but it
can also be incrediblyempowering.
And here's the question.
What if what is happeningoutside of you is just a
reflection of what is happeninginside of you?
(00:21):
And this is such an interestingthing, right?
Because what happens is we wantto take credit and
accountability.
When things are going well, wethink, yes, I created this, I
manifested this.
This is amazing.
But when things aren't goingwell, we tend to resist the idea
that it was self-created.
We tend to resist the idea that,okay, well maybe I do have a
piece to own in this, and maybeon the outside then you might
(00:43):
seem super optimistic.
You're kind, you're nice topeople.
You say the right things, youcheck all of the boxes, but on
the inside, then you might befeeling really discouraged,
disconnected, and maybe evenhopeless.
So if deep down you're feelingfrustrated, for example, by
non-reciprocal relationships, ifyou're thinking, well, I'm never
going to find true love andconnection, if you're thinking,
well, my career is never goingto take off, then here's the
(01:06):
hard truth is those thoughts areprobably going to be creating
more of the same thing for you.
And this isn't because you'rebroken.
It's not because you're failing,but it's because what we
believe...
what it is that we reallybelieve deep down, not what it
is that we tell others that webelieve, is going to be how it
,is that we're showing up in theworld.
That's going to be what it isthat we are creating.
The brain's job is to look forevidence that whatever it is
(01:28):
that we're thinking about istrue.
So if you're continuallythinking about how horrible your
life is, then your brain isgonna continue to look for
evidence of how horrible yourlife is.
So let me kind of use just a fewexamples to kind of show you how
our thoughts can create ourreality.
First we'll talk about Pam.
So Pam is just going through themotions in her marriage.
She isn't feeling connected.
(01:48):
She actually believes thatthings are never going to
change.
She's feeling very resigned inrelationship, so she doesn't
change anything, right?
She and her husband still do theho-hum date night of getting
takeout and watching TV at home.
They continue to have surfacelevel conversations, not about
their hopes and dreams andadventures that they might wanna
go on together, but instead,their conversations are limited
to work the kids and homeprojects that they need to get
(02:11):
done that weekend.
And every time that one of thesethings happens, then she says to
herself, mm.
I knew it.
I knew that this was gonnahappen.
I knew that this is what he wasgonna choose for date night.
I knew that's what we're goingto talk about.
It's kind of like aself-fulfilling prophecy, right?
But at the same time, she isn'tplanning a more connective date
night.
She isn't talking about herhopes and dreams and adventures
(02:33):
that she thinks that the two ofthem might enjoy together.
She's not talking about othersubjects outside of kids and
work and home projects.
So in other words, she's notcreating change, and that means
that essentially she's choosingto remain in discontent.
But this is all because of thethought that she's having
inside, which is things arenever going to change.
It's impacting how it is thatshe's showing up, which is
(02:55):
creating her external reality.
Let's talk about anotherexample, and this time we're
gonna talk about Jim from theoffice because I think that the
office is hilarious.
So Jim is really embarrassed totell people what it is that he
does for work.
He doesn't want to work at apaper company and he doesn't
want to be a ground flooremployee.
He wants something morefulfilling.
He says he wants a job wherehe's proud to tell other people
(03:18):
what it is that he does for aliving, but deep down he doesn't
think that he'd be successful atit.
He doesn't think that he has theeducation to move on from the
ground floor, so he just staysstuck and because he believes
that he will always have a deadend job and will never be
successful.
Then he never progresses in hiscareer.
He's not applying for jobs, he'snot going back to school.
(03:39):
He's not even applying to moveup the ranks in his current
company, but instead he's justreinforcing his belief that I'm
never gonna amount to anythingand I guess I'm just gonna work
at a paper company forever andbe unfulfilled.
Okay.
Now let's use an example ofJudy.
Judy wants to have more balancedand fulfilling friendships.
She wants a friend that she canshare secrets with, somebody
that totally gets her andunderstands her, but all that
(04:01):
she can think about is all ofthe ways that her friends are
not showing up for her.
She focuses on how long it'sbeen since they've initiated
getting together.
When she gets off of an hourlong phone call with a friend,
she focuses on the one sentencethat was said during that whole
hour that didn't feel verysupportive for her.
She ignores the other 59 minutesand is focusing on that one
minute, she's using all of thisas evidence that her friends
(04:24):
will never be able to show upfor her in the way that she
would like, and so she staysstuck.
She stops initiating.
She now seems to be resigned tounfulfilling relationships.
So even though she says that shewants more, her internal world
is creating her external world,which is keeping her stuck in
her friendships.
You're starting to see thepattern here, so take a moment
(04:45):
right now to really think aboutwhat is it that you're thinking
about inside in your day-to-daylife?
And this might be, okay, what isit that I'm ruminating on?
What is it I'm believing?
What is it that's happening forme on the inside?
Who am I resenting right now?
Use all of that as informationto identify what is it that I'm
actually believing on theinside.
(05:06):
Now I'm gonna share a few commonlimiting beliefs as well as what
they might be creating for you.
And as I read these, I want youto really think about, is this
something that I'm believing formyself?
And maybe it's gonna sparksomething you're like, well, I
don't quite believe that, but Ido believe this.
Notice that as it's coming upfor you.
Okay, so here's a few of'em.
Love and affection must beearned.
(05:27):
Now this limiting belief, itdrives people pleasing and often
creates one-sided non-reciprocalrelationships.
If they're upset, it must be myjob to fix it.
This thought often leads toover-functioning and ultimately
burnout.
My needs aren't that important.
Or on the other side it might betheir needs are more important.
(05:49):
Now, this often prevents us fromactually seeking out support
from stating boundaries or evenacknowledging what it is that we
might actually want inrelationship.
I'll never find a relationshipwhere I feel seen safe and
valued.
This belief, may keep yousettling for breadcrumbs or keep
you with a misaligned partner.
If I become successful, otherpeople will abandon me.
(06:09):
Now, this thought is more commonthan you might think, and it
creates a lot of fear andtension in relationship and also
really keeps you small andprevents you from actually
working towards things that youreally want out of life.
And that really leads into thisnext one.
It is safer to stay small thanto risk being rejected Again,
this one is going to keep yousmall.
(06:31):
It's going to prevent you fromputting yourself out there and
actually finding more.
Uh, I'm too old.
It's too late for me.
There's many, many versions ofthis one, and again, that's
going to keep you feelinghelpless and stuck.
So notice if any of those reallystood out to you, if the energy
of them was a bit louder.
If you found yourself thinking,oh yeah, of course that one's
true, and then I really want youto sit with that sentence and
(06:52):
see what it is that that mightbe creating for you.
This might be really hard tohear, but the beliefs that I
just read to you, they'rekeeping you in a victim mindset.
Even if you're smiling on theoutside, even if you feel like
you're really self-empoweredwhen you have those thoughts
coming in, it is a victimmindset and it's going to keep
you stuck.
When you're operating from thatplace, then what is it that
(07:14):
you're attracting?
You're not going to beattracting abundance.
You're going to be attractinglack.
You're going to be attractingnegativity and resentment.
You are gonna be attractingdisconnection, frustration, and
more of the same dynamics thatyou really don't actually want
consciously.
And as hard as it can be toaccept that, then this is
something that your mind hasactually created.
Your outside is reflecting yourinsides, and this isn't
(07:38):
intentional.
It's not because you want tosuffer.
But essentially by not changingyour thoughts or your actions,
then you are essentiallychoosing for things to remain
the same.
So the first step is to observeyour thoughts, and then the
second is to take radicalownership of those thoughts.
Now, let me be clear that thisis not about blaming yourself
for your own circumstances, butit's about empowering yourself
(08:00):
to change your circumstances.
Einstein once said, you cannotsolve a problem with the same
mind that created it.
So if you want new results, ifyou want something new out of
life, you need a new mindset toback it up.
Now I wanna share with yousomething that I've started
doing that has been very helpfulfor me.
And while this does sound verysimple, it is not always easy.
(08:23):
In fact, I'm often taking thesethings to my coach.
I meet with my own coach once aweek and she really helps me to
dissect some of these thoughtsand see things a bit more
clearly,because when we have alot of emotion behind something,
when we have believed somethingfor years, possibly even our
whole lives, we just accept itas truth.
We don't want to challenge it.
(08:44):
We can't see that there's anyway outside of that.
And having somebody outside ofyou can be extremely helpful
when it comes to actuallyacknowledging, okay, what is
this creating for me and what doI want to intentionally create
instead?
So what I've started doing iswriting down my old thoughts or
the current thoughts that I'mreally believing that are
limiting me right now.
(09:05):
I'm writing down my limitingbeliefs and getting very clear
and descriptive as to what thatis creating for me.
And then I'm writing down somenew thoughts, some affirmations
that are more rooted in truth.
And then I intentionally lookfor at least three reasons why
that new belief is already truefor me.
Why it's already real in my lifeand then I read them.
(09:29):
I feel into them.
I breathe into them every singleday.
I breathe into what it is that Iactually want every single day.
And every time I do that, thevolume is turned up on what it
is that I want to create.
And as a side effect, the volumeis turned down on the things
that I'm wanting to minimize outof life.
So let me kind of share a fewexamples with you as to what
this might look like.
(09:49):
And we're just going to kind ofexpand on the examples from
earlier.
So remember Pam, she's the onewho's going through all of the
motions in her marriage andshe's feeling a lot of
disconnect.
And one of her thoughts is, Iwill never experience the
connection that I'm seeking withmy husband.
When she is thinking that she'sresigned, she's not challenging
the status quo.
She's not planning connectivedates or starting interesting
(10:12):
conversations, and this iscreating a future where she will
not ever experience theconnection that she's seeking
with her husband.
So now let's flip the script.
And remember, you need to makeit believable so that you can
look for evidence.
So it might be quite a leap tojust start thinking, oh, I'm
super connected to my spouse.
So if you're having a hard timecoming up with an alternative
thought, then try adding insomething like I'm practicing or
(10:35):
I'm starting to notice in frontof your belief.
So, for example, she might think"I'm starting to notice positive
changes in my relationship withmy husband." Then the key is to
actively look for at least threethings that back that up.
So that could be anything from,"Hey, he really listened to me
that day when I got home fromwork, and he asked some great
follow-up questions." Or itmight be,"oh, I didn't have to
(10:57):
ask him to take the trash out.
That's great." So just startlooking for evidence that there
are some positive changeshappening, and then celebrate it
and you will start to see moreof that in your life.
Okay, now let's use the exampleof Jim.
So Jim is resigned to being apaper salesman forever.
First, what is that creating forhim?
He's embarrassed to talk aboutwhat he does for a living.
(11:17):
So he's avoiding meeting newpeople.
This is limiting his sociallife.
He's also looking for reasons ormaybe excuses as to why he can't
do anything else.
There's no other jobs available.
It would take too long to goback to school and get a degree.
I'm too old for anythingdifferent, but all of those
things are keeping him stuck.
So after we get super clear onwhat is it that that is creating
(11:38):
for you, then we can start tochallenge those thoughts.
So what if instead he flippedhis thought to, I am working to
better my situation every singleday.
Now with that thought, not onlyis he more grateful for his
current job and paycheck, but hemay also start to see other
evidences of growth.
He might start to notice whenopportunities arise, like a
(11:58):
business course that's nowavailable at the local community
college.
Maybe his work ethic may changefrom being off task and wasting
time to having more drive andambition, knowing that that
drive and ambition will lead himtowards greater things.
And how might that impact hislevel of success?
How might changing that internalthought and looking for
evidences that it's alreadytrue, how might that impact his
(12:19):
external world?
All right, and now Judy, whenJudy is thinking about how
unfulfilling her friendshipsare, what might that be creating
for her?
She may look for ways that herfriends have failed her.
She might be reliving thoseexperiences in her mind.
She might be complaining to herhusband or her coworkers about
how terrible her friends are.
She probably isn't showing up asa very good friend either, but
(12:39):
instead she's showing up aspretty judgemental.
She's judging people beforeshe's even gotten to know them.
She's not making new friends.
She's refraining from sharingany vulnerabilities, and all of
these things are really limitingher personal connection.
So what might happen if sheintentionally shifted her
internal thought and looked forevidence that that new thought
were true?
How might things change for herif she shifted her new thought
(13:01):
to, I am building a beautifulcommunity?
Now, she might not only be morelikely to look for ways that her
friends are currently showing upand checking in on her, but
she's also more likely to reachoutside of herself, to go to new
events, to connect socially, andit's all because she changed her
thought about her friendships to"I am building a new and
(13:22):
beautiful community." So here'smy invitation to you.
What if today you sat down andlooked at what's really going on
inside of you?
And then you ask yourself, isthis the energy that I want to
project out into the world?
And if not, what is it that youwant instead?
(13:42):
Get very clear on what you wantyour new belief to be, and then
look for three evidences thatthat is already true.
You do not need to fakepositivity.
You don't need to forcegratitude.
You just need to find one degreeof truth and a better story, and
then practice feeling into thevibration of that new belief.
You can have a life that youtruly love.
(14:03):
And managing your mind is thefirst step towards getting
there.
If you would like help andsupport in both identifying your
limiting beliefs and shiftingthem into something that can
really create more lasting andpositive change for yourself,
come and book a free claritycall with me.
This is just a 20 minute callwhere we can chat about what's
coming up for you and see whatit is that's getting in your
(14:24):
way.
Maybe even gain some clarity asto how this is self-created, and
help you to feel a little bitmore empowered about how you can
create some lasting change foryourself.
So click the link in the shownotes.
You can book your free claritycall now.
I would love to support you onyour journey back to
self-empowerment, connection andpersonal growth.
So until next time, take care ofyourself.
(14:45):
Be sure to mind your inner worldbecause it is creating
everything else around you.
Alright, I'll see you next week.
Have a great one.
Bye now.
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