All Episodes

August 14, 2025 18 mins

Send us a text

Are you a highly sensitive person who’s constantly giving but feeling invisible in your relationships? Do you ever catch yourself wondering, “Do they know I’m here?” or feeling like “They are walking all over me”? Maybe you’ve been feeling used or taken advantage of, and deep down you’re thinking, “I just want to be seen and loved.”

In this episode, I open up about my own journey as a helper, healer, and recovering people pleaser, including the powerful images that came into my mind’s eye during Reiki sessions with client that revealed just how it can feel to over-giving at your own expense. I’ll share 2 impactful stories from my time as a Reiki practitioner—moments when unhealed codependency and energetic imbalances were manifesting through two powerful images... a doormat and a cloak of invisibility. 

Through metaphors like doormat vs. welcome mat energy and the cloak of invisibility, we’ll explore how patterns of over-giving can leave you exhausted, resentful, and wondering if you’ll ever feel truly valued. You’ll also learn practical, heart-centered tools for reclaiming your energy, setting boundaries without guilt, and stepping into relationships where you can be authentically seen and loved for who you are.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
💛 The difference between doormat energy and welcome mat energy
🌀 How codependency keeps you stuck in over-giving cycles
🌱 The role of the solar plexus and heart chakra in emotional boundaries
🧠 What your resentment is trying to tell you
🧍‍♀️ The emotional cost of wearing a cloak of invisibility
✨ How to shift from seeking love through usefulness to receiving love through authenticity
🔮 How Reiki and chakra healing can help process emotional patterns

This episode is especially for you if:

  • You’re a recovering people pleaser or codependent personality
  • You often feel taken for granted or invisible in relationships
  • You give your time, energy, and love freely—but rarely feel nourished in return
  • You’re tired of feeling invisible and want to step into your worth
  • You’re interested in the intersection of spirituality, energy work, and emotional healing

Ready to Be Seen?
If you’re tired of feeling invisible and drained from always being the “go-to” person for everyone else, this is your sign to step out of the doormat role, take off the cloak of invisibility, and feel safe being seen. You don’t have to prove your worth through over-giving.

Ready to make lasting change? 🔗 Book your free clarity call today to explore where your energy might be leaking and how you can shift toward empowered, authentic connection.

Free Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsultContact me: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryannwalker.life/
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryannwalker.life
Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maryannwalker.life

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, hello and welcome back.
Now, as you may or may not know,I worked as an energy
practitioner and a reflexologistbefore I became a coach, and I
thought that today I would sharea couple of experiences that I
had from that time.
Number one, because I think thatthey're pretty interesting, and
number two, I think they'll bepretty relatable for you.
So this episode might be alittle bit more woowoo than what

(00:20):
you're used to on here becauselet's be honest, I'm a little
bit woowoo.
But I think even if you're notinto the woo, I think you still
might be able to relate to theseimages and experiences that I'm
gonna be sharing here.
So sometimes when I'm doingreiki or an energy clearing on
somebody, then I see images inmy mind.
And this doesn't happen all thetime, but sometimes I do receive
images.

(00:41):
And one image came up in aparticular session that was
really fascinating to me, andthis was before I was really
focusing on the helpers, thehealers, and the people
pleasers.
But that still seems to be whoit was that was gravitating
towards me in these sessions.
So basically what I would do ina session is I would kind of
scan their energy.
I'd go from chakra to chakra tosee where there might be some
blocks or imbalances in theirenergy.

(01:01):
So for example, I might notice ablock in their throat chakra,
and then we would kind ofexplore this block and see,
okay, is it on the giving side,meaning that they're having a
hard time speaking truth, or isit on the receiving side that
maybe they're having a hard timereceiving back truth from others
or feedback from other people.
So we kind of explore that alittle bit, and then once we
discover what's coming up forthem, then we go ahead and clear

(01:22):
it.
So on this particular day then Isaw a very distinct image on
this client's solar plexuschakra.
Now the solar plexus chakra is achakra that represents our
personal power.
It is where our self-esteem is.
It's where we have thatself-identity, what it is that
we're projecting out into theworld.
And the image that came into mymind was a welcome mat.

(01:45):
It was one of those fake grassgreen welcome mats.
And honestly, the image caughtme so off guard.
I am pretty sure I laughed for asecond.
I was a little bit confused.
Now I do have many intuitivepeople that listen here on the
podcast, so I'll kind of tellyou a little bit about how I
navigate it when I receiveinformation, I try to just
remain really curious about it.

(02:06):
I wonder, okay, what does thatmean?
I try not to assume anything.
So when I first saw the welcomemat and I thought, well, is this
because she's such a warm andwelcoming person?
Like that's kind of what wethink about when we think
welcome mat, right?
Is, oh yeah, come on in.
This is great.
But when I asked in my mind, isthat what it represents, then I
received a very different andless lighthearted answer.

(02:30):
The answer I received was, no,it's actually not a welcome mat.
It's a doormat.
The energy that she's puttingout into the world is that she
will welcome any opportunity tobe walked on.
Of course, consciously, shedidn't want this.
That's not what she wanted to beputting out into the world.
She wanted to be helpful andwelcoming, yes, but she didn't

(02:52):
wanna be walked on.
She didn't wanna be takenadvantage of.
She didn't wanna be resentful inrelationship.
She didn't wanna be treated thatway.
And once I got that information,then the whole energy changed
and I was able to just betterunderstand her quiet pain.
So as I told her the informationthat I was receiving, she was
pretty shocked.
She had been trying really hardto portray that welcome mat

(03:15):
energy that, oh yeah, I'm soaccommodating.
I'm so warm and welcoming.
Everybody, come on in.
She really did want to love andserve other people, which all of
us do, right?
But underneath all of that, shereally was feeling taken
advantage of.
She was feeling kind ofresentful.
She was feeling used.
She was feeling like a doormat.

(03:35):
So let's kind of talk for alittle bit about the difference
between welcome mat Energy andDoormat Energy, because on the
outside they can look verysimilar.
Both are positioned right infront of the door.
Both give the impression of aninvitation, but their energetic
boundaries and how people engagewith them are completely

(03:56):
different.
So first let's talk aboutwelcome mat energy.
Have you ever walked up tosomebody's porch and you're just
like, wow, like this just looksso beautiful.
It's very nicely swept.
There might be a cute littleplant in the corner their
Welcome mat.
Just looks amazing.
So that's kind of that welcomemat energy.
Welcome mat energy says you areinvited in, but on my terms.

(04:16):
I'm going to keep things cleanand tidy.
I'm not going to be taking onwhat it is that you've got going
on unless I choose to.
Right.
It's clean, it's intentional,it's grounded.
A welcome mat isn't there to bestepped on mindlessly.
I'm not going to, you know, goand like muck a barn and then go
and just wipe my feet off onsomebody's porch.
Right.
So, yes, A welcome mat is asymbol of hospitality.

(04:39):
Sure.
But it's one that's placedoutside of the door and it's
kind of a pause point.
Where, yes, you wipe your feet,you knock, and then you wait to
be welcomed in.
Welcome mat.
Energy comes from a place ofwholeness and abundance and a
place of protecting your spaceand protecting your peace.
Welcome mat.

(05:00):
Energy is happy to connect.
It's happy to help, but theyalso know where the door is.
And they like to keep theirplace tidy and clean and they
know that they have a choiceabout who gets invited in.
And when people do wipe theirmess on the welcome mat, they're
very quick to shake it off.
They're very quick to clean itup.
They're not going to allow thatstuff to stay there.

(05:20):
They're not going to allow otherpeople's dirt to build up on
their porch and define them.
They're gonna keep the energyvery clean.
In short, welcome mat energy.
It is clean, it is boundaried,and it demands respect from
other people.
Now doormat energy is acompletely different vibe.
Doormat energy is tired, it'soverused, and it doesn't pause

(05:45):
to ask, am I okay with this?
It's kind of a free for all.
So the the doormat is whereyou're gonna go and wipe off
your mucking boots, right?
It says, step on me.
Bring your mess and I'll carryit for you.
It's fine.
I don't really care what happenshere.
Just leave all of your junk.
And it's not even really aconscious invitation, this
doormat energy, right?
But it's just kind of a habitualone.

(06:06):
It's, oh yeah, I can see that.
That's where everybody elseleaves their dirt, so I'm going
to do that too.
So somewhere along the line,then this person with doormat
energy, they probably learnedthe lesson that allowing other
people to use you is a way tofeel included.
It's a way to feel useful.
And if you feel useful tosomebody, then oftentimes we
equate that with, I must beloved by them because I'm

(06:28):
useful.
We confuse love and usefulness.
And maybe even being a doormathelps you to feel safe because
like, okay, other people knowwhat to expect of me, and if
their needs are met, then I'llbe safe, then I'll be protected.
But the cost of this form ofusefulness and inclusion, the
cost of this doormat energy isresentment.

(06:51):
Because when we show up withdoormat energy, people don't
pause.
They do not wait to be invitedin.
They just assume that they'reentitled to just wipe all of
their stuff off on you.
And before you know it, then youmay be buried under layers and
layers of everybody else'semotional grime.
And you're not even sure whenthe last time is that you felt
like yourself.
You don't even remember whatit's like to have a clean porch

(07:13):
anymore.
Now, many people pleasers thinkthat they're putting out welcome
mat energy, but if you'restarting to feel resentful and
drained, then that may be a signthat it is time to put some
boundaries into place.
It's a sign to let go of thethings that you've been carrying
for others and clean up yourenergetic space.
And of course, shifting thatenergy is going to take more

(07:34):
than just one podcast episode.
So come and work with me.
We can absolutely work on this,but here are a few things that
can help if you find that you'remaybe putting off some of that
doormat energy and want to shiftit into welcome mat energy.
So if you find yourself feelingdrained and resentful, ask
yourself, where do I need toplace a boundary to protect my
peace?
Is it a specific relationshipthat's keeping me drained?

(07:55):
Or in other words, is it aspecific person that's always
leaving their dirt and grime onmy porch, or is it kind of
everybody?
Am I now just the communitycatchall for everybody else's
stuff?
Is it that I may be overcommitted?
Is it that I'm not making roomfor the things that light me up?
Am I giving from a place ofabundance and love?

(08:15):
Or am I hoping that if I justself-sacrifice enough that I'll
be able to eventually earn loveand inclusion?
Okay, so now here's my secondstory.
So one time I was working on aclient and when I got to their
heart chakra, it was like Icouldn't see it.
It was like it was underneath acloak of invisibility.
So I just kept sitting in thatspace and energetically asking

(08:37):
their heart to let me in, but itwas like their heart was hiding.
And as I worked with it and justgently asked, Hey, will you
please let me in?
It's safe for me to see you.
It's going to be okay.
I'll wait for permission, but isit okay if I see you?
Then suddenly it felt like I wasbeing energetically pulled
through their heart's back door.
Their front door was completelysealed off.
Nothing could come in, but I waspulled in the back door and once

(09:00):
I was pulled in the back door oftheir heart, then I was finally
able to kind of look around andget a feel for things as to what
was going on.
And as I got talking with thisperson, I learned that in
relationships, they often feltinvisible.
They're somebody that wouldtraditionally do a lot for other
people, but they didn't feelseen in a relationship.
In fact, they often felt likethey were wearing a cloak of

(09:22):
invisibility.
And sometimes it was even soextreme that when they were at
parties, they felt like peopleforgot that they were there.
Nobody was engaging with them.
They were all talking to eachother.
They were just sitting in thecorner thinking, I wonder if
anybody's gonna come and talk tome.
Do they even know that I'm here?
And you know what's reallyinteresting is working with
recovering people pleasers.
It's really interesting to seehow many recovering people,

(09:44):
pleasers are actually wearing acloak of invisibility.
They believe, well, maybe if Ijust hide my wants and needs, if
I shrink myself.
If I do enough for other people,then I'll be seen.
And so they find themselvesgiving and giving and giving,
and they're making themselvessmaller and minimizing their own
wants and needs and never givingvoice to what it is that they

(10:04):
need.
In fact, the other person mightnot even be aware that they have
needs in relationship.
And so of course they're feelinginvisible in that relationship.
So if you are feeling invisible,I first want you to look at
where it is that you'reinvesting your energy and see if
some changes need to be made.
Sometimes if it's in a veryspecific relationship that
you're feeling invisible.

(10:25):
Our tendency is to want toinvest more into that
relationship.
To think, oh, well, I just needto prove myself more.
We invest a lot of mental andemotional energy trying to be
seen by a specific person whomay or may not be willing to see
us.
So I want you to first see,okay, is it happening all over
the place?
Is it in a specific relationshipwhere I need to state
boundaries?
So get really clear on that.
And also, I want you to reallypractice seeing yourself.

(10:50):
Recovering people pleasers havea very hard time seeing
themselves.
They're, they're gonna beruminating on how other people
should be helpful, but they havea hard time identifying what
their needs are.
They have a harder timeidentifying what their wants
are, and they have a really hardtime giving voice to those wants
and those needs.
So practicing yourself andpractice allowing other people
to see you as well.

(11:11):
Now it's often a copingmechanism to shrink ourselves
and to pretend that we don'thave wants and needs.
It can feel safer to justobserve from the shadows than to
actually participate inrelationship, to actually show
up and allow yourself to beseen.
It feels safer to not make arequest at all than to risk
making a request and being toldno.

(11:32):
But giving voice to your wantsand needs, preferably before the
resentment sets in, but it'snever too late.
But when we practice stating ourwants and needs in relationship,
then we're able to first of all,see who it is more clearly
that's willing to reciprocate,to see who's willing to see us,
to see who's willing to say, ohyeah, thank you for letting me
know what your needs are.
Most people aren't as intuitiveas you are.

(11:53):
You're probably somebody thatkind of knows what it is that
people need, so you volunteerbefore they've even had to ask.
Most people do not have thatsuperpower.
They need you to give voice toyour wants and needs so that
they can know how to show up ina relationship.
They probably desperately wantto have a more balanced,
reciprocal relationship becauseit does feel good to give.
You know that because you'realways giving.
They want to help, but they justdon't know how.

(12:16):
So give voice to it, practicegiving voice to it, preferably
before the resentment sets in.
And then see who's willing toreciprocate.
And this also gives our brainthe evidence that, okay, I am
willing to see and acknowledgeand give voice to my needs.
I am willing to see myself.
I'm not going to hide frommyself anymore and pretend that
I don't have needs and wantsbecause my resentment tells me

(12:38):
that's not true.
When you're experiencingresentment, use that as
information that, okay,something isn't sitting well
with me.
I'm not giving voice tosomething.
Maybe it's that you need tostate a request.
Maybe it's that you need tospeak up and give a boundary,
but something is not right ifyou're experiencing that
resentment.
So if you are feeling invisible,I want you to ask yourself,
okay, first of all, wherespecifically am I not feeling

(13:00):
seen?
Is it in a specificrelationship?
Is it in the community at large?
And then kind of break it downand look at those individual
relationships.
So think about it.
Okay, well, I'm not feeling seenright now.
If there's one thing I wantedthem to know about me right now,
what would it be?
And have I given voice to that?
Or am I assuming that theyshould just know?

(13:21):
What needs do I have right now?
How can I fulfill that need formyself?
And am I willing to makerequests to allow others to show
up in love and support for me?
Or am I silencing my wants andneeds in attempt to feel low
maintenance or easy?
That's oftentimes another copingmechanism where we're trying to
receive that love and support bybeing somebody that we're not,

(13:42):
right?
So, oh, if I can just have noneeds, and it's just so easy for
them to be in a relationshipwith me.
But the truth is that, andthey've actually done studies on
this, that people feel moreconnected to other people when
they invest in them.
So you're actually doing notonly yourself, but the other
person a service when you'rewilling to give voice to your
wants and needs.
Some other questions you can askyourself is, do I feel like it

(14:04):
is safe to be seen, and why orwhy not?
Often, this goes back to someoriginals thing that happened to
us, right where our need wasn'tmet, and so we just decided to
shut down.
And maybe that was a toxicrelationship or maybe it was
just that they didn't hear youclearly.
Maybe it's that they weredistracted with something else.
We don't know what's going onthere, but probably there was

(14:26):
some time in your life where youreceived the messaging that no,
it's not safe to be seen.
It is not safe to express mywants and my needs in
relationship.
So get clear on that so that youcan heal that part of yourself,
and then practice leaning intothose new relationships and
recognizing that no, the healthyrelationships are the ones where
I'm able to express my wants andneeds and be seen.

(14:47):
That that's safe, that that ishealthy.
It can also be helpful to askyourself, okay, what am I scared
of?
What am I scared that otherpeople are going to see if I do
allow myself to be seen?
Oftentimes the thing that we'remost scared of is that people
are gonna find out that we'rehuman, that we don't have it all
together, that we've mademistakes, but it's those very

(15:09):
vulnerabilities that help us tobe more connected to other
people.
And I totally get it, that itcan feel scary to be seen when
you've conditioned yourself tobelieve that it's safer to hide.
But guess what?
You're a grownup now.
It is safe to be seen, and youcan and will find so many
beautiful and authenticconnections when you're willing
to do so.

(15:29):
So in closing, let's kind ofjust review quick welcome mat
and doormat energy.
They might look the same on thesurface, but the intent and the
boundaries and the emotionalimpact behind them are vastly
different.
One is offered from a verygrounded and wholehearted place.
A boundaried place.
And then the other one comesfrom a deep desire to be

(15:49):
accepted, often at the cost toself.
So clean up your welcome map byshaking off the yuck that other
people have left behind.
And remember that you get tochoose who it is that you open
up your space and your energyto.
And then just to recap the cloakof invisibility, many people
pleasers wear a cloak ofinvisibility, and that can make

(16:10):
it really hard to feel trulyseen or valued in relationship.
When you shrink yourself to feelsafe or accepted, it actually
creates distance in the veryrelationships where you're
wanting to experience thatcloseness.
So let yourself be seen.
Allow yourself to be seen.
Remember that you're a grownupnow and your voice, energy, and

(16:30):
experience, it can be such agift to those around you.
So practice intentionallyremoving that cloak of
invisibility and speaking up inrelationship.
Allow yourself to be seen.
That's the way to find trueconnection.
The truth is that most people,they aren't intentionally
choosing into doormat energy orchoosing to wear a cloak of

(16:50):
invisibility.
They're just living out theseold patterns that once help them
to survive.
But now they're also keepingthem stuck.
So if this sounds familiar, ifyou're recognizing that, you
know what?
I didn't even know that I wasputting off doormat energy or
that I was wearing a cloak ofinvisibility, I want you to know
that it doesn't have to staythat way.
You can shift your energy, youcan create new patterns and you

(17:11):
don't have to do it alone.
If you feel like you're stuck indoormat energy or if you're
tired of feeling invisible,please come and book a free
clarity call with me.
We can sit together and look atwhere your energy might be
leaking, where it is that youmight need a state of boundary
or speak up and allow yourselfto be seen.
Sometimes the smallest changewhen done with intention, it can

(17:33):
create the most significantpositive changes.
You are worthy of being seen,you're worthy of being
supported, and you're allowed toclean off the mat and choose who
gets access to the real andamazing you.
I hope you have a great week andlet's talk soon.
Bye now.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.