174: The Lie That Time Heals All Wounds (And What Really Does)

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Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds— Intention Does

They say that "Time heals all wounds."
We’ve all heard it. But is it true?

The truth is time alone doesn’t heal. Effort & intention does.
And when you stop waiting and start intentionally tending to your emotional wounds, everything begins to shift.

🔍 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✨ Why time without intention can keep you stuck in emotional pain
✨ How to recognize if you’re using “rest” as avoidance
✨ What healing really looks like for HSPs and empaths
✨ How to use breakups, gap years, and transition periods as catalysts for growth
✨ Why self-directed healing is more powerful than waiting for time to "do its thing"
✨ The difference between coping and healing—and how to bridge the gap
✨ A powerful self-inquiry practice to move you forward this week

Ask yourself:

What do I want most right now?
Am I avoiding the work I know would move me forward?
What’s one intentional step I can take today toward healing?

💬 If This Resonated With You…
I currently have openings in my 6-week coaching program designed for highly sensitive people ready to stop people-pleasing, regulate their nervous systems, and confidently speak their truth.

You’ll get clarity, support, and tools to move forward with purpose—so you don’t just wait for time to heal, but take your healing into your own hands.

🎯 Book your FREE clarity call here: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult

🔗 Links & Resources:
🌿 Learn more about 1:1 https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
📩 Get your FREE Empathy Guidebook: https://maryannwalker-life.kit.com/3da1fd88a9

❤️ If You Loved This Episode:
Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify—it really helps others find the show and grow this community. And don’t forget to share it with a fellow HSP who’s ready to stop waiting and start healing.

Remember: Time doesn’t heal. Intention does.
And that’s a beautiful, empowering thing.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello and welcome to Inner Workwith MaryAnn Walker.

(00:02):
This is the podcast where weexplore what it means to reclaim
your voice, honor your needs,and step into your wholeness,
especially if you're a highlysensitive person or an empath
navigating a world that doesn'talways understand you.
This week, we're going to beexploring the lie that time
heals all wounds.
And let me just start by saying,yes, time can be a factor in

(00:23):
your personal healing, but it'snot the only factor and it's
definitely not the mostimportant one.
Because time on its own doesn'tcreate healing effort does.
Now let me just kind ofillustrate this by talking about
physical wounds.
So yes, a broken bone willeventually heal, but it has to
be set properly in order for itto heal.

(00:46):
Properly.
Yes, a scratch or a cut willheal on its own, but if it's not
cleaned and bandaged properly,it could get infected.
And even a mild injury can leavelasting damage if it's not
tended to.
And the same is true for ouremotional wounds.
You can wait all that you want,but if you're not acknowledging

(01:06):
the pain, processing it andtending to it and being really
intentional about how it is thatyou want to move forward, then
you might just be sitting in thewound and not necessarily
healing it.
And just as a broken bone thathasn't been set will mend over
time.
It might not heal properlywithout getting the care and

(01:26):
attention that it needs.
And the same is true for ouremotional wounds.
In fact, many who are hopingthat time will heal all wounds
are actually adopting copingmechanisms rather than actually
developing the tools needed fortrue and lasting healing.
This might look like numbing outwith social media returning to
unhealthy patterns,relationships, or addictions, or
even ruminating for an extensiveamount of time.

(01:48):
We think that this is going tocreate healing over time, but
while time is in fact passingwithout intentionally creating
healing, then we may remainstuck.
And when the healing isn'ttaking place, then we may often
find ourselves back In the verysituation that we're trying
desperately to leave in thepast.
We're going to be repeatingthose same things until the

(02:11):
wound is tended to.
Because the truth is that timewithout intention is just time.
So let me share this with a fewreal world examples.
Let's say that somebody is goingthrough a breakup and they tell
themselves, well, I just need tobe single for six months and
then I know that I'll be readyfor dating again.
And that's fine, if those sixmonths are being used to

(02:32):
intentionally create healing andwholeness so that you can be
entering into thoserelationships six months from
now, from that place of healingand wholeness.
Because just waiting six months,that's not going to be changing
any patterns for you, whichmeans that it may not create the
healing that you're seeking.
Healing is not about a date onthe calendar.

(02:53):
It's about what you choose to doduring that time.
For example, are you taking timeto reflect on the relationship
that you just came out of?
Are you asking yourself what youcould do differently next time?
Are you reconnecting withyourself?
Are you getting support, whetherthat's through therapy,
coaching, community, or creativeexpression, or are you just

(03:13):
filling the time hoping that thepain will pass on its own if you
just don't look at it.
The woman who's waiting for Mr.
Wright to show up while puttingher life on hold is not the same
woman who is becoming her fullself so that she is aligned and
ready when the right person doesshow up.
So now let's explore thisthrough the idea of the gap
year.

(03:34):
Many young adults choose to takea gap year after high school,
but it's not the taking the yearoff that's going to get them
ready for college or ready for acareer.
It's what they're choosing to dointentionally with that time
that's going to make all thedifference.
For example, if you're someonewho is entering into a gap year,
are you intentionally exploringwho you are, what matters to

(03:54):
you, and what it is that youwanna create next in your life?
Are you using that time tofinancially prepare to arrange
for transportation for yourselfto get to campus?
Are you working to gain lifeexperience and to practice
adulting by scheduling your ownappointments, paying your own
bills, learning how to cook, andhow to take care of yourself?
Are you using that time to learnabout other countries and

(04:14):
cultures?
Are you using this time to getyour mental health in order or
maybe even shadow a fewpotential career opportunities?
Or are you just directionlessduring that gap year?
Now I wanna be really clear onthis that rest is important.
And rest with intention is goingto be a lot more supportive for

(04:35):
you than just using rest as anexcuse.
I need rest, therefore I'm goingto be doing these other things.
So get really clear on what isit that I need if I am needing
rest right now, to create thattrue rest for self?
Because really think about it.
If all that you did was workoutall the time with zero recovery,
it would actually be detrimentalto your health.

(04:56):
So yeah, we do need rest.
Sometimes healing does requirerest, space and stillness.
It can be so important forhealing.
And just like the bone needs tostay in a cast so that the body
can repair itself, thensometimes our emotional system
does need time to reset.
Time where it isn't going to bejostled or handled.
It just needs to just be.

(05:19):
But true rest and recovery isdifferent from just letting the
time pass and essentiallyavoidance, right?
There's a difference betweenrest and avoidance and get
really clear on what it is thatyou're currently doing.
Intentional rest and recovery isvery different from just hoping
that time alone will do thetrick.
True healing happens when youpartner intention with.

(05:40):
Time.
When you intentionally give yournervous system space to create
personal safety, when youintentionally seek out support
from those with the tools andexperience that can help and
support you, when youintentionally get honest with
yourself about how it is thatyou got here, what you need
right now, and what you mightneed to heal moving forward.
When you intentionally stopoutsourcing your healing to the

(06:02):
calendar, telling yourself, ohyeah, time heals all wounds.
I just need time.
And instead, you startintentionally attending to your
wounds.
So here is your challenge forthis week is, first I want you
to really think about, okay,what is it that I really want
right now?
And then ask yourself, how am Iavoiding doing the work?
Now, this could be big things orsmall things.

(06:23):
For example, this last week Iwas really avoiding calling the
doctors to set up a physical formyself.
It's been a while since I'vebeen into the doctors, and I was
going to call'em on Friday.
I put it off until Monday.
I was definitely avoiding it.
So maybe it's something likethat is just making that phone
call for your own self-care.
Maybe it's starting a workoutroutine, healing from a past
relationship, working towardsthat career, healing from

(06:46):
childhood wounds, or just doingthat deep soul work that you
know needs to be done.
But identify one area of yourlife where you're not
necessarily doing the work thatneeds to be done in order to get
what it is that you're seeking.
And then ask yourself, in whatways am I avoiding doing the
work?
Just notice it for yourself.
You do not have to guiltyourself, but just notice, okay,

(07:07):
what am I doing here?
Guilt and shame, they alwayswant to hide, so guilt and shame
are not helpful here.
Okay, so once you've identifiedwhere it is that you wanna go
and how it is that you might beavoiding it, rather than shaming
yourself and creating thathiding and resistance, just ask
yourself, okay, where am Iavoiding doing the work?
Be really honest with yourselfabout where you might be
avoiding and just thinking, oh,yes, someday I'll get around to

(07:31):
it.
Okay.
Someday means that you'reallowing time to pass and
thinking that time is going tofix it for you.
So put it on the calendar if itis important to you, and make it
tangible how it is that you'reworking towards this, how it is
that you're creating thathealing for yourself.
Then ask yourself, how can I usethis time to intentionally
support my growth and healing?

(07:52):
Let's say that it's six monthsfrom now that you have this
deadline for yourself.
Okay.
Well, I do want to be veryintentional.
I want to go back on the datingscene in six months.
What is it that I want to dovery intentionally for this next
six months so that I'll beready?
Okay, I am gonna be taking a gapyear.
What is it that I want tointentionally do during this
time so that I can be ready?
Okay.
Be very intentional about whatis it that I need right now and

(08:15):
how can I be working towards myown personal growth and healing.
Another question could be, whatis one thing that I can do
proactively to create healingfor myself?
So maybe this means implementingan intentional self-care
practice.
This might mean joining a bookclub.
It might mean going moreregularly to the local gym.
It might mean booking a six weekpackage with me.

(08:36):
It may be intentionally seekingout community support, reaching
out to that person that's beenon your mind and seeking what
wisdom they may have for you.
It might mean starting ameditation practice, learning a
new skill, doing that one thingthat you've been putting off
until it's a better time.
But just pick one thing that youcan do right now that would
support your healing.

(08:56):
Again, this could be big orsmall.
Just pick one thing.
And yes, it might be a littlebit uncomfortable at first.
You've been resisting this for along time.
Right.
You've been resisting yourpersonal healing for a long
time, so it may be uncomfortablein the beginning.
I mean, let's be honest, like ifyou broke your bone and you go
into the doctors, nobody lovesgetting their bone set after a

(09:17):
break.
It's uncomfortable.
But the relief that comes fromdoing your own healing work,
from taking that initiative tofinally make that progress, even
when it's a little bituncomfortable, it's amazing.
So, yes, time can bring healing,but you can 10 x your personal
healing by becoming moreintentional about how it is that

(09:39):
you choose to use your time asyou heal.
Now if this episode hasresonated with you, I want you
to know that I do currently havea few spots opening up in my six
week coaching program.
This is a program specificallydesigned for highly sensitive
people, and it's for those thatare wanting to become more
intentional about their healing.
They're ready to commit, they'reready to create change for

(09:59):
themselves.
As I said, I do offer six weekpackages and honestly, six weeks
of time with intentionalcoaching can be so healing.
So if you're feeling called todo more for yourself, then check
out the link in the show noteswhere you can book a free
clarity call with me.
Now during this clarity call, Ican help you to find clarity

(10:19):
around one thing that you couldchange right now that would have
a significant impact on yourlife and your personal healing.
If this call is 100% free and atthe end, then we'll see if
coaching might be a good fit foryou.
Okay, so go ahead and click thelink in the show notes to book
your free clarity call now.
And if you feel like what youhave received here on the
podcast has been helpful foryou, then would you please leave

(10:41):
me a review.
It really does help me to reachmore people, and I deeply and
truly appreciate your support.
So thank you so much forlistening, and remember that
time doesn't heal, intentiondoes, and that is a truly
empowering thing.
All right, thank you so much forbeing here, and I'll see you
next week.
Bye now.