September 18, 2025 • 14 mins
Do you ever feel like no matter how much you give, it’s still not enough to keep people from leaving? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing, conflict avoidance, or overgiving, chances are the fear of abandonment has been running the show—and with it, the painful habit of self-abandonment.
In this episode of Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker, we’re diving deep into why self-love is the antidote to the fear of abandonment. When you learn to stop abandoning yourself, you stop clinging to relationships out of fear and start creating authentic connections rooted in love, mutual respect, and trust.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- The hidden connection between self-abandonment and the fear of abandonment.
- How your nervous system confuses old survival instincts with present-day relationships.
- The difference between fear-driven thoughts and love-driven truths.
- Practical examples of how to recognize when you’re acting out of fear—and how to shift into love instead.
- Why prioritizing self-love is not selfish, but the foundation for healthy, lasting relationships.
Challenge for the Week
This week, notice where fear is running the show in your relationships. Ask yourself:
👉 Am I acting out of fear of abandonment—or from a place of self-love?
Then take one small action rooted in love for yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Work With Me
If you’re ready to break free from people pleasing and start building relationships that feel safe, nourishing, and authentic, I’d love to support you. I currently offer 6- and 12-week coaching packages designed for recovering people pleasers who are ready to stop self-abandoning and start thriving.
Visit www.maryannwalker.life
or email me at maryann@maryannwalker.life
to check availability or join my waitlist today.
Don’t Forget to Subscribe
Make sure you’re subscribed to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker so you never miss an episode on healing from people pleasing, setting boundaries, and creating authentic love.
Links Mentioned in This Episode
- Episode: Am I the Jerk Now? How to Set Boundaries Without Becoming the Villain https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/17472392
- Episode: How to Recognize a Trauma Bond & Break Free for Good https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/17654108
- Episode: Feeling Invisible & Walked On? Doormat vs Welcome mat Energy https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/17600742
- Work with me: Coaching packages for recovering people pleasers
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
well hello and welcome back.
My name is MaryAnn Walker and Ihelp those who have been doing
so much for others, often thecost of their own selves to find
true authentic and fulfillingrelationships free of burnout
and self abandonment.
Now, in last week's episode, wetalked about the number one fear
of people pleasers, the fear ofabandonment, and how this often
(00:21):
shows up as self abandonment.
And today in part two, we'regoing to be talking about how to
break free from that fear ofabandonment as well as self
abandonment and how to step intolove.
Both love for yourself and lovefor other people as well.
So just to recap, but by allmeans, go back and listen if you
haven't heard it yet, but a fewsigns that you may be self
(00:41):
abandoning due to a fear ofabandonment is people pleasing,
overgiving, conflict avoidance,and feeling overly responsible
for other people's experiences.
The fear of abandonment is avery primal fear.
It goes back to the days whenhumankind lived in caves.
Community literally could meanthe difference between life and
(01:02):
death.
And even though we're no longerliving in caves and have the
ability to connect with otherpeople that is greater than ever
before, your nervous system maystill be taking some time to
adjust to these new currentcircumstances.
In other words, your nervoussystem may be telling you that
if they leave, you won't be ableto survive.
But that simply isn't true.
(01:24):
The truth is that fear it's noteven all that bad.
In fact, fear is here to protectyou.
But it's also true that fear,it's not always serving you.
Fear serves us by keeping us onhigh alert, by keeping us on our
toes.
Fear wants us to survive, butour nervous system sometimes has
a hard time making our level ofinternal fear proportionate to
(01:44):
the current situation.
For example, maybe you see a beeflying around and then instantly
your fight or flight responsetakes over.
Your adrenaline starts pumping,your body starts reacting.
Maybe you start sweating.
It feels like there is a giantinevitable threat in the
immediate area that you are in,right?
You are in danger.
(02:06):
But really, for those of us thataren't allergic to bee stings,
the worst thing that couldhappen is that we'll experience
a little bit of temporary pain.
And I'm using that example todaybecause today I went outside
barefoot.
I love being outside barefoot,and while I was outside, I
stepped on a bee and I did notsee the bee, but I immediately
(02:27):
felt it and it was superuncomfortable for about five or
10 minutes.
And then I was just fine.
And what else is true is that ifI had seen the bee, I probably
would've had a very differentresponse than I did when I
stepped on it.
My nervous system would'veprobably wanted me to believe
that being stung by that beewould be the worst thing that
could ever happen to me.
(02:48):
But really, again, the worstcase scenario, since I'm not
allergic, is just five to 10minutes of discomfort.
And the same is true when wehave a fear of abandonment in
our relationships.
We have this deep fear that ifthey leave, our very survival is
at risk, and that can feel likethe scariest thing ever.
But the truth is thatrelationships, they come and go,
(03:10):
and you have actually survivedjust fine up to this point.
When you were a child, it feltnormal and natural that your
friend circle would changedepending on whose class you
were in.
So, for example, if you were inMrs.
Checketts fifth grade class,more than likely the kids that
you would invite to yourbirthday party would also be in
Mrs.
Checketts fifth grade class.
It was okay that you weren'tstill besties with the kids that
(03:33):
you went to school with lastyear.
Also, I'll just let you know thebulk of my audience is between
the ages of 35 and 55, and morethan likely if you fit into that
dynamic, then that means thatyou have probably survived a
romantic breakup as well.
And yeah, it was probably hard.
And you survived.
It actually wasn't the end ofthe world.
(03:54):
The earth is still spinning andlife goes on and you're meeting
new people and it's ultimatelygoing to be okay.
So I guess what I'm trying tosay is don't believe everything
that you think and don't believeeverything that your nervous
system is trying to tell you.
So yes, bring it into yourconscious awareness.
Bring it into coaching, andlet's talk about it and work
through it so that it doesn'ttake over your life, but you
(04:17):
don't need to just continue toallow fear to dictate how it is
that you're showing up in life.
It may be true for you that upuntil this point you have been
allowing fear and your nervoussystem to run the show, and
they're kind of just going offof your, your primary settings,
your current default settings,and it's worked out okay.
I mean, you're still here, butnow.
(04:39):
As evidenced by your being hereand listening to a self-help
podcast, you are ready to notjust survive, but to really
thrive.
You're ready for not just aplaceholder kind of
relationship, but you're readyfor genuine compatibility.
And it may feel a little bitcounterintuitive, but
identifying the fear, bringingit into your conscious
(05:01):
awareness, what it is that thatfear is telling you what it is
that fear is creating for you,that is going to help you and
give you information to help youcreate what it is that you're
actually looking for.
So we're gonna do a littlepractice here.
We're going to play around alittle bit with identifying what
it is that fear is saying andwhat it is that love is saying.
They are two very differentvoices.
(05:21):
Fear is only worried aboutsurviving.
Love is about thriving.
And so doing this, separatingout the two, making distinctions
between the two, it can help usto intentionally turn down the
volume on the fear andintentionally turn up the volume
on love.
And doing this shift is going tohelp you to change your default
(05:42):
setting.
So now, rather than having yourdefault setting be through that
fear response, you can actuallychange your default setting so
that you'll now be showing upthrough a love response.
Love for both you and for theother person.
So noticing these difference iswhat's going to help you to
create more real and authenticrelationships.
So let me give you a fewexamples about what fear tells
(06:03):
us and what love tells us.
And notice for your.
Which thoughts you arebelieving.
Do you tend to believe more inthe thoughts that fear is
telling you, or do you tend tobelieve more what love is
telling you?
Just kind of use it asinformation.
Fear says, I have to perform forlove.
Love says I can be my full selfand still be loved.
(06:26):
Fear says, if I show my truefeelings, then they'll leave me.
Love says if they leave becauseI'm sharing my truth, then they
weren't meant for me.
Fear says, I must prove myworth.
Love says my worth is inherit.
Fear says, if I don't do thisfor them, they're going to
abandon me.
(06:47):
Love says, if I do this when Idon't want to, I would be
abandoning myself.
Fear says I need to keep thepeace no matter the cost.
Love says true peace includes myvoice and my needs too.
Fear says if I set a boundary,they're going to think I'm
selfish.
Love says a boundary honors bothme and the relationship.
(07:13):
Fear says I should be reallyeasy to love, so I shouldn't
make any waves.
Love says, I am worthy of loveeven if I take up space.
Fear says if I stop giving,they'll stop caring about me.
Love says the right people loveme for who I am, not for what it
is that I give.
(07:33):
Fear says I have to shrinkmyself in order to be accepted.
Love says, when I finally startshowing up in a relationship
then I create space for realgenuine connection.
When you start leading withlove, you stop trying to earn
your place in somebody else'slife, and you start building
relationships that are built ontrust, authenticity, and mutual
(07:57):
respect.
When we are living life throughthat fear of abandonment, we are
ultimately abandoning ourselves.
So stepping out of that fear ofabandonment, it means taking the
time to really learn how to loveyourself unconditionally.
To work just as hard to get yourneeds met as you've been working
to meet other people's needs andwants.
(08:17):
To live as your true, authenticself rather than the masked
people pleasing version of you.
When you truly come to loveyourself and prioritize not
abandoning yourself, then that'swhen you're going to be in the
right energy to find that truelove and connection with other
people.
Now I wanna be really clear thatas you start prioritizing
yourself, this doesn't mean thatyou're going to turn into a big,
(08:39):
fat jerk face.
And I know that turning into abig, fat jerk face is a fear a
lot of you have, which is why Icreated an episode titled Am I
The Jerk Now?
How to Set Boundaries WithoutBecoming the Villain.
And yes, I will link that in theshow notes as well as a few
other episodes that you mightfind supportive around this
topic.
But for now, I want you to knowthat leading with love, it
doesn't mean that you're goingto become a big, fat jerk face.
(09:02):
It doesn't mean that you'renever going to compromise with
anybody.
It doesn't mean that you'regonna stop caring about other
people's feelings altogether andbecome really selfish, but
instead, leading with love meansthat you stop compromising
yourself.
It means that you startprioritizing your own wellbeing
so that you can better show upfor other people from a steady
(09:22):
place of abundance rather thanthrough that lens of fear and
that lens of neediness orthrough lack.
It means that you start settingboundaries because you value
yourself.
This means if you're overbooked,you don't take on the role of
being the classroom mom.
If somebody mistreats you, youget yourself to safety instead
of making excuses for them.
(09:44):
That's something else that Ihave an episode on.
So again, check out the shownotes.
It means that if somebody raisestheir voice, then you tell them,
Hey, you know what?
We can continue thisconversation when you can talk
to me respectfully.
You are kind.
But you're also boundaried andyou treat yourself with kindness
first and foremost by removingyourself from those toxic
situations and those toxicrelationships.
(10:06):
You start to communicate morehonestly, even if it feels
vulnerable at first, you arewilling to give voice to it when
something doesn't feel right toyou to tell them when your
feelings have been hurt, to letthem know when something isn't
sustainable for you, so that youcan create lasting change.
You tell them when it is thatyou need a little bit of extra
support instead of just assumingthat they should know or that
(10:27):
they should reciprocate.
You initiate telling them whatit is that you need, which
significantly increases the oddsthat you're going to get those
needs met.
You let people show you throughconsistent actions if they're a
safe person to be around.
If they're somebody that you cantrust, it is watching and
observing how it is that they'reactually showing up, not how it
is that they say they're gonnastart showing up eventually, but
(10:50):
how it is that they're currentlyshowing up, it is watching for
consistency rather than justbeing accepting of sporadic
change here and there.
Just breadcrumbing enough tokeep you around.
You start choosing intopartners, friends, and
connections who can meet youwhere you are at, not just where
they wish that you'd stay.
Not just the people that wannaput you in a box and keep you
there in a way that serves them,but people that genuinely want
(11:13):
to meet you where you are at.
These are the people that loveyou just because you're you.
And yeah, they also appreciateit when you do things for them,
but you are loved for who youare outside of what it is that
you do for them in relationship.
This is what it looks like tooperate from a steady and
grounded self-love.
And doing that is going tocreate such beautiful and
(11:34):
authentic relationships thatyou're no longer going to feel
like you're walking oneggshells, trying to prove that
you're worthy of love.
And over time, you may begin tonotice that your fear and
insecurity, it will diminishover time because now you're
prioritizing love and genuineconnection over
performance-based acceptance.
When you start to operate fromlove instead of fear, you stop
(11:58):
gripping so tightly to the wrongpeople, and instead you actually
open your hands to those whogenuinely want to and are
willing to be in relationshipwith you and to stay.
So for this week, I invite youto just start noticing, notice
where in your relationships youare acting from, fear of
abandonment rather than fromself-love.
Are there ways that you havebeen self abandoning in an
(12:19):
attempt to keep people aroundthat maybe you're not even in
alignment with them anymore?
And if so, what is that creatingfor you?
What is that self abandonmentcreating for you?
And then ask yourself, if I ledwith love for myself as well as
for the other person, what wouldI start to do differently?
Maybe it's speaking up insteadof remaining silent.
(12:41):
Maybe it's pulling back yourenergy a little bit from
somebody who takes more thanthey give.
Maybe it's simply tellingyourself, I am worthy of love
without overworking for it.
Remember that the goal here isnot to erase fear entirely.
You may experience fear as yougo through these changes, and
that's totally normal.
The goal here is just to startto recognize when fear is
(13:01):
sneaking in, to acknowledge itspresence, and then to choose
into love anyway, because lovethe kind that is really rooted
in authenticity and mutual care.
That's the only true foundationfor real lasting connection.
And when you choose to lead withlove for yourself, you'll be
absolutely amazed at the kind ofrelationships that start showing
(13:24):
up for you.
And that's because fear is nowin its place.
You can actually relax into therelationship and enjoy those
relationships from a place ofabundance rather than that fear
and anxiety and needy energy.
Now if you are ready to startdoing the inner work to build
relationships free of fear, Iwould love to support you.
I'm currently offering both sixand 12 week coaching packages
(13:46):
designed for recovering people,pleasers exactly like you.
So let me show you how to breakfree of the fears that are
holding you back and help you tocreate real lasting and
gloriously authenticrelationships.
You can come to my website,www.maryannwalker.life, or email
me at maryann@maryannwalker.lifeLife to check for availability
or to join my wait list now.
(14:07):
I look forward to talking withyou, so thank you so much for
being here.
Let's all just lead with alittle bit more self-love today,
right?
Find some way to show yourselfthe love that you deserve
because you are deserving oflove.
All right, I'll see you nextweek.
Have a good one.
Bye now.
well hello and welcome back.
My name is MaryAnn Walker and Ihelp those who have been doing
so much for others, often thecost of their own selves to find
true authentic and fulfillingrelationships free of burnout
and self abandonment.
Now, in last week's episode, wetalked about the number one fear
of people pleasers, the fear ofabandonment, and how this often
(00:21):
shows up as self abandonment.
And today in part two, we'regoing to be talking about how to
break free from that fear ofabandonment as well as self
abandonment and how to step intolove.
Both love for yourself and lovefor other people as well.
So just to recap, but by allmeans, go back and listen if you
haven't heard it yet, but a fewsigns that you may be self
(00:41):
abandoning due to a fear ofabandonment is people pleasing,
overgiving, conflict avoidance,and feeling overly responsible
for other people's experiences.
The fear of abandonment is avery primal fear.
It goes back to the days whenhumankind lived in caves.
Community literally could meanthe difference between life and
(01:02):
death.
And even though we're no longerliving in caves and have the
ability to connect with otherpeople that is greater than ever
before, your nervous system maystill be taking some time to
adjust to these new currentcircumstances.
In other words, your nervoussystem may be telling you that
if they leave, you won't be ableto survive.
But that simply isn't true.
(01:24):
The truth is that fear it's noteven all that bad.
In fact, fear is here to protectyou.
But it's also true that fear,it's not always serving you.
Fear serves us by keeping us onhigh alert, by keeping us on our
toes.
Fear wants us to survive, butour nervous system sometimes has
a hard time making our level ofinternal fear proportionate to
(01:44):
the current situation.
For example, maybe you see a beeflying around and then instantly
your fight or flight responsetakes over.
Your adrenaline starts pumping,your body starts reacting.
Maybe you start sweating.
It feels like there is a giantinevitable threat in the
immediate area that you are in,right?
You are in danger.
(02:06):
But really, for those of us thataren't allergic to bee stings,
the worst thing that couldhappen is that we'll experience
a little bit of temporary pain.
And I'm using that example todaybecause today I went outside
barefoot.
I love being outside barefoot,and while I was outside, I
stepped on a bee and I did notsee the bee, but I immediately
(02:27):
felt it and it was superuncomfortable for about five or
10 minutes.
And then I was just fine.
And what else is true is that ifI had seen the bee, I probably
would've had a very differentresponse than I did when I
stepped on it.
My nervous system would'veprobably wanted me to believe
that being stung by that beewould be the worst thing that
could ever happen to me.
(02:48):
But really, again, the worstcase scenario, since I'm not
allergic, is just five to 10minutes of discomfort.
And the same is true when wehave a fear of abandonment in
our relationships.
We have this deep fear that ifthey leave, our very survival is
at risk, and that can feel likethe scariest thing ever.
But the truth is thatrelationships, they come and go,
(03:10):
and you have actually survivedjust fine up to this point.
When you were a child, it feltnormal and natural that your
friend circle would changedepending on whose class you
were in.
So, for example, if you were inMrs.
Checketts fifth grade class,more than likely the kids that
you would invite to yourbirthday party would also be in
Mrs.
Checketts fifth grade class.
It was okay that you weren'tstill besties with the kids that
(03:33):
you went to school with lastyear.
Also, I'll just let you know thebulk of my audience is between
the ages of 35 and 55, and morethan likely if you fit into that
dynamic, then that means thatyou have probably survived a
romantic breakup as well.
And yeah, it was probably hard.
And you survived.
It actually wasn't the end ofthe world.
(03:54):
The earth is still spinning andlife goes on and you're meeting
new people and it's ultimatelygoing to be okay.
So I guess what I'm trying tosay is don't believe everything
that you think and don't believeeverything that your nervous
system is trying to tell you.
So yes, bring it into yourconscious awareness.
Bring it into coaching, andlet's talk about it and work
through it so that it doesn'ttake over your life, but you
(04:17):
don't need to just continue toallow fear to dictate how it is
that you're showing up in life.
It may be true for you that upuntil this point you have been
allowing fear and your nervoussystem to run the show, and
they're kind of just going offof your, your primary settings,
your current default settings,and it's worked out okay.
I mean, you're still here, butnow.
(04:39):
As evidenced by your being hereand listening to a self-help
podcast, you are ready to notjust survive, but to really
thrive.
You're ready for not just aplaceholder kind of
relationship, but you're readyfor genuine compatibility.
And it may feel a little bitcounterintuitive, but
identifying the fear, bringingit into your conscious
(05:01):
awareness, what it is that thatfear is telling you what it is
that fear is creating for you,that is going to help you and
give you information to help youcreate what it is that you're
actually looking for.
So we're gonna do a littlepractice here.
We're going to play around alittle bit with identifying what
it is that fear is saying andwhat it is that love is saying.
They are two very differentvoices.
(05:21):
Fear is only worried aboutsurviving.
Love is about thriving.
And so doing this, separatingout the two, making distinctions
between the two, it can help usto intentionally turn down the
volume on the fear andintentionally turn up the volume
on love.
And doing this shift is going tohelp you to change your default
(05:42):
setting.
So now, rather than having yourdefault setting be through that
fear response, you can actuallychange your default setting so
that you'll now be showing upthrough a love response.
Love for both you and for theother person.
So noticing these difference iswhat's going to help you to
create more real and authenticrelationships.
So let me give you a fewexamples about what fear tells
(06:03):
us and what love tells us.
And notice for your.
Which thoughts you arebelieving.
Do you tend to believe more inthe thoughts that fear is
telling you, or do you tend tobelieve more what love is
telling you?
Just kind of use it asinformation.
Fear says, I have to perform forlove.
Love says I can be my full selfand still be loved.
(06:26):
Fear says, if I show my truefeelings, then they'll leave me.
Love says if they leave becauseI'm sharing my truth, then they
weren't meant for me.
Fear says, I must prove myworth.
Love says my worth is inherit.
Fear says, if I don't do thisfor them, they're going to
abandon me.
(06:47):
Love says, if I do this when Idon't want to, I would be
abandoning myself.
Fear says I need to keep thepeace no matter the cost.
Love says true peace includes myvoice and my needs too.
Fear says if I set a boundary,they're going to think I'm
selfish.
Love says a boundary honors bothme and the relationship.
(07:13):
Fear says I should be reallyeasy to love, so I shouldn't
make any waves.
Love says, I am worthy of loveeven if I take up space.
Fear says if I stop giving,they'll stop caring about me.
Love says the right people loveme for who I am, not for what it
is that I give.
(07:33):
Fear says I have to shrinkmyself in order to be accepted.
Love says, when I finally startshowing up in a relationship
then I create space for realgenuine connection.
When you start leading withlove, you stop trying to earn
your place in somebody else'slife, and you start building
relationships that are built ontrust, authenticity, and mutual
(07:57):
respect.
When we are living life throughthat fear of abandonment, we are
ultimately abandoning ourselves.
So stepping out of that fear ofabandonment, it means taking the
time to really learn how to loveyourself unconditionally.
To work just as hard to get yourneeds met as you've been working
to meet other people's needs andwants.
(08:17):
To live as your true, authenticself rather than the masked
people pleasing version of you.
When you truly come to loveyourself and prioritize not
abandoning yourself, then that'swhen you're going to be in the
right energy to find that truelove and connection with other
people.
Now I wanna be really clear thatas you start prioritizing
yourself, this doesn't mean thatyou're going to turn into a big,
(08:39):
fat jerk face.
And I know that turning into abig, fat jerk face is a fear a
lot of you have, which is why Icreated an episode titled Am I
The Jerk Now?
How to Set Boundaries WithoutBecoming the Villain.
And yes, I will link that in theshow notes as well as a few
other episodes that you mightfind supportive around this
topic.
But for now, I want you to knowthat leading with love, it
doesn't mean that you're goingto become a big, fat jerk face.
(09:02):
It doesn't mean that you'renever going to compromise with
anybody.
It doesn't mean that you'regonna stop caring about other
people's feelings altogether andbecome really selfish, but
instead, leading with love meansthat you stop compromising
yourself.
It means that you startprioritizing your own wellbeing
so that you can better show upfor other people from a steady
(09:22):
place of abundance rather thanthrough that lens of fear and
that lens of neediness orthrough lack.
It means that you start settingboundaries because you value
yourself.
This means if you're overbooked,you don't take on the role of
being the classroom mom.
If somebody mistreats you, youget yourself to safety instead
of making excuses for them.
(09:44):
That's something else that Ihave an episode on.
So again, check out the shownotes.
It means that if somebody raisestheir voice, then you tell them,
Hey, you know what?
We can continue thisconversation when you can talk
to me respectfully.
You are kind.
But you're also boundaried andyou treat yourself with kindness
first and foremost by removingyourself from those toxic
situations and those toxicrelationships.
(10:06):
You start to communicate morehonestly, even if it feels
vulnerable at first, you arewilling to give voice to it when
something doesn't feel right toyou to tell them when your
feelings have been hurt, to letthem know when something isn't
sustainable for you, so that youcan create lasting change.
You tell them when it is thatyou need a little bit of extra
support instead of just assumingthat they should know or that
(10:27):
they should reciprocate.
You initiate telling them whatit is that you need, which
significantly increases the oddsthat you're going to get those
needs met.
You let people show you throughconsistent actions if they're a
safe person to be around.
If they're somebody that you cantrust, it is watching and
observing how it is that they'reactually showing up, not how it
is that they say they're gonnastart showing up eventually, but
(10:50):
how it is that they're currentlyshowing up, it is watching for
consistency rather than justbeing accepting of sporadic
change here and there.
Just breadcrumbing enough tokeep you around.
You start choosing intopartners, friends, and
connections who can meet youwhere you are at, not just where
they wish that you'd stay.
Not just the people that wannaput you in a box and keep you
there in a way that serves them,but people that genuinely want
(11:13):
to meet you where you are at.
These are the people that loveyou just because you're you.
And yeah, they also appreciateit when you do things for them,
but you are loved for who youare outside of what it is that
you do for them in relationship.
This is what it looks like tooperate from a steady and
grounded self-love.
And doing that is going tocreate such beautiful and
(11:34):
authentic relationships thatyou're no longer going to feel
like you're walking oneggshells, trying to prove that
you're worthy of love.
And over time, you may begin tonotice that your fear and
insecurity, it will diminishover time because now you're
prioritizing love and genuineconnection over
performance-based acceptance.
When you start to operate fromlove instead of fear, you stop
(11:58):
gripping so tightly to the wrongpeople, and instead you actually
open your hands to those whogenuinely want to and are
willing to be in relationshipwith you and to stay.
So for this week, I invite youto just start noticing, notice
where in your relationships youare acting from, fear of
abandonment rather than fromself-love.
Are there ways that you havebeen self abandoning in an
(12:19):
attempt to keep people aroundthat maybe you're not even in
alignment with them anymore?
And if so, what is that creatingfor you?
What is that self abandonmentcreating for you?
And then ask yourself, if I ledwith love for myself as well as
for the other person, what wouldI start to do differently?
Maybe it's speaking up insteadof remaining silent.
(12:41):
Maybe it's pulling back yourenergy a little bit from
somebody who takes more thanthey give.
Maybe it's simply tellingyourself, I am worthy of love
without overworking for it.
Remember that the goal here isnot to erase fear entirely.
You may experience fear as yougo through these changes, and
that's totally normal.
The goal here is just to startto recognize when fear is
(13:01):
sneaking in, to acknowledge itspresence, and then to choose
into love anyway, because lovethe kind that is really rooted
in authenticity and mutual care.
That's the only true foundationfor real lasting connection.
And when you choose to lead withlove for yourself, you'll be
absolutely amazed at the kind ofrelationships that start showing
(13:24):
up for you.
And that's because fear is nowin its place.
You can actually relax into therelationship and enjoy those
relationships from a place ofabundance rather than that fear
and anxiety and needy energy.
Now if you are ready to startdoing the inner work to build
relationships free of fear, Iwould love to support you.
I'm currently offering both sixand 12 week coaching packages
(13:46):
designed for recovering people,pleasers exactly like you.
So let me show you how to breakfree of the fears that are
holding you back and help you tocreate real lasting and
gloriously authenticrelationships.
You can come to my website,www.maryannwalker.life, or email
me at maryann@maryannwalker.lifeLife to check for availability
or to join my wait list now.
(14:07):
I look forward to talking withyou, so thank you so much for
being here.
Let's all just lead with alittle bit more self-love today,
right?
Find some way to show yourselfthe love that you deserve
because you are deserving oflove.
All right, I'll see you nextweek.
Have a good one.
Bye now.
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