In this week’s tour of the world’s Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
- Trump sh*ts pants then sh**ts messenger after dud US Jobs Report - Even BJ Vance's b-jobs are going down!
- Danish zoo shocks world by feeding pets to its carnivores - The Asiatic Lion loves eating dog, The European Lynx loves eating pussy!
- Aussie state of Tasmania on a knife's edge after 12th election this week. Who will be Premier? Who'll win the meat tray? Will Harold be right for the Zumba Grand Final? Inner West Karen reports!
- Plus, Ahmed Ouf reports ...Inner West Karen to Cumberland Council, Federal Police, NSW Mental Health Unit
And so much more of the week's madness:
- Highly qualified diplomatic genius Steve Witkoff - sells real estate, negotiates with Putin, touches toes all at the same time!
- Ghislaine Maxwell - plays prison golf with Trumpy and shoots 69!
- Also Ghislaine - buddies up to new jailmate Theranos fraud Elizabeth Holmes!
- Theranos fraud Elizabeth Holmes - suddenly bans own daughter from visiting!
- Henry Lee fave The Dreggs - touring Luther, Oklahoma; Turks and Caicos; and Sucre! (standby for Quito, Cape Town, Pretoria, Bloemfontein dates!)
- Elon's Mum Maye Musk - can't believe she's lost her impala in the car park!
- Sydney Sweeney! - registers Republican, then for witness protection after Trump asks her out
- Australian Government to make all MPs fly short-haul domestic in economy! - as long as seat goes flat, plane goes via Heathrow
- Aussie Prime Minister Anthony Albanese - exhaustion concerns after 7 hour trip to New Zealand, two actual decisions, all in same three-year term!
- Japanese Kabuki band murders Oasis' Wonderwall - still sound better than Liam?
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk* and Henry Lee^. Tassie Premier Jeremy Rockliff late cancel after shock leadership challenge by Sharon (avail Mon, Wed, Thurs mornings, Friday WFH so don't even)
Saying hi? Email: gday@instantexperts.com.au
Or Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show, right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au
All complaints to: anyoneseenmybeagle@aalborgzoo.dk
Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior
Additional editing by guy in charge of US prison transfers last week (all paperwork lost; also congrats on new mansion!)
Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe
^Apologises worse than The Fonz
*Immortal after killing his doctor, unless found by a re-animated Rodgers & Hammerstein in which case dead meat.
Dr Erika McEntarfer's tell-all memoir "My Name Isn't Funny You C*nts!!" out in time for Christmas!
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