In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
- Chairman Dan defends Beijing trip - “It’s in the national interest! Of China"
- Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene tries flattery to get Files released - "Every American wants to read your biography, Mr President"
- Trump scotches rumours - "I'm only dead on the inside"
- And in sport Henry magically halves winnings at Morning Star Hotel!
Plus so much more of the week's hellscape:
- Ex NSW Premier Bob Carr defends own China visit - "It's not like I'm marching for Palestine next to some Hezbollah c*nt! (that's next week)"
- Azerbaijan/Armenia deny cheating with China - "Full 'Girlfriend Experience' is cash upfront. Til then we got d**tators to suck!"
- Kim Jong-Un renames rogue state 'North By Northwest Korea' - "'Psycho' was too on the nose"
- Iran protests China trip - "Not even one synagogue to firebomb"
- Usha Vance dream Inauguration Day if hubby ever steps up - "Open top drive through Dallas then show at Ford Theater"
- Trump clarifies claim garbage bags out White House window were AI - "AI's the one where we destroy evidence I'm a huge paedo, right?"
- Rudy Giuliani on Presidential Medal of Freedom - "I'm assured this doesn't foreclose Presidential Medal for Most Handjobs in a Roadside Motel"
- RFK Jr on antidepressant/school shooting link - "Nothing in my own life experience says guns are America's real problem"
- Democratic Republic of Congo / Republic of Congo peacetalks fail over which Pres plays Running Bear, Little White Dove in closing talent show - "I hoped music would calm this raging river" says UN's Johnny Preston
- Billy Joel dismisses 'Piano Man' gay bar origin story - "'Uptown Girls' was just a nice place to meet a Stranger if you were in a New York State of Mind"
- Bluey hot dad dog scandal deepens as leaked Files suggest Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell recruited kid dog Bingo from private pound at Mar a Lago
- Hulk Hogan on Instant Experts voicemail - "Whole thing sounds fake and predetermined to me, brother"
- Honk on Henry tipping comp fail: “Obviously the Collingwood C*ckpiercings were gonna beat the Adelaide Body Barrels! Next time call an expert!”
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee. (Dan Andrews delayed by snap lockdown. "Just 6 more years, Melb")
Saying hi? Email: gday@instantexperts.com.au
Or Leave Us a Voicemail to play on the show right from our home page: www.instantexperts.com.au
Complaints: nothingtoseehere@oldrapos.whitehouse.gov
Produced, mixed, compiled, edited by Junior
Additional editing by Dyson Hairdryer that set fire to Honk laptop
Digital design & Social media by Guantanamo Babe (unless on Venezuela speedboat, arrival time still TBA)
Instant Experts Live in North South West East Northamptonshire onsale soon!
Listen to us anywhere! https://linktr.ee/instantexpertspodcast
Sign up for news! https://www.instantexperts.com.au
Follow us on X - don’t tell Elon!: https://x.com/instantexpertsx?s=21&t=YN4hCwCCP5pK0y2nNGRAyA
Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/instantexperts
Follow us on Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@instantexpertspodcast
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61574477592971
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Burden
The Burden is a documentary series that takes listeners into the hidden places where justice is done (and undone). It dives deep into the lives of heroes and villains. And it focuses a spotlight on those who triumph even when the odds are against them. Season 5 - The Burden: Death & Deceit in Alliance On April Fools Day 1999, 26-year-old Yvonne Layne was found murdered in her Alliance, Ohio home. David Thorne, her ex-boyfriend and father of one of her children, was instantly a suspect. Another young man admitted to the murder, and David breathed a sigh of relief, until the confessed murderer fingered David; “He paid me to do it.” David was sentenced to life without parole. Two decades later, Pulitzer winner and podcast host, Maggie Freleng (Bone Valley Season 3: Graves County, Wrongful Conviction, Suave) launched a “live” investigation into David's conviction alongside Jason Baldwin (himself wrongfully convicted as a member of the West Memphis Three). Maggie had come to believe that the entire investigation of David was botched by the tiny local police department, or worse, covered up the real killer. Was Maggie correct? Was David’s claim of innocence credible? In Death and Deceit in Alliance, Maggie recounts the case that launched her career, and ultimately, “broke” her.” The results will shock the listener and reduce Maggie to tears and self-doubt. This is not your typical wrongful conviction story. In fact, it turns the genre on its head. It asks the question: What if our champions are foolish? Season 4 - The Burden: Get the Money and Run “Trying to murder my father, this was the thing that put me on the path.” That’s Joe Loya and that path was bank robbery. Bank, bank, bank, bank, bank. In season 4 of The Burden: Get the Money and Run, we hear from Joe who was once the most prolific bank robber in Southern California, and beyond. He used disguises, body doubles, proxies. He leaped over counters, grabbed the money and ran. Even as the FBI was closing in. It was a showdown between a daring bank robber, and a patient FBI agent. Joe was no ordinary bank robber. He was bright, articulate, charismatic, and driven by a dark rage that he summoned up at will. In seven episodes, Joe tells all: the what, the how… and the why. Including why he tried to murder his father. Season 3 - The Burden: Avenger Miriam Lewin is one of Argentina’s leading journalists today. At 19 years old, she was kidnapped off the streets of Buenos Aires for her political activism and thrown into a concentration camp. Thousands of her fellow inmates were executed, tossed alive from a cargo plane into the ocean. Miriam, along with a handful of others, will survive the camp. Then as a journalist, she will wage a decades long campaign to bring her tormentors to justice. Avenger is about one woman’s triumphant battle against unbelievable odds to survive torture, claim justice for the crimes done against her and others like her, and change the future of her country. Season 2 - The Burden: Empire on Blood Empire on Blood is set in the Bronx, NY, in the early 90s, when two young drug dealers ruled an intersection known as “The Corner on Blood.” The boss, Calvin Buari, lived large. He and a protege swore they would build an empire on blood. Then the relationship frayed and the protege accused Calvin of a double homicide which he claimed he didn’t do. But did he? Award-winning journalist Steve Fishman spent seven years to answer that question. This is the story of one man’s last chance to overturn his life sentence. He may prevail, but someone’s gotta pay. The Burden: Empire on Blood is the director’s cut of the true crime classic which reached #1 on the charts when it was first released half a dozen years ago. Season 1 - The Burden In the 1990s, Detective Louis N. Scarcella was legendary. In a city overrun by violent crime, he cracked the toughest cases and put away the worst criminals. “The Hulk” was his nickname. Then the story changed. Scarcella ran into a group of convicted murderers who all say they are innocent. They turned themselves into jailhouse-lawyers and in prison founded a lway firm. When they realized Scarcella helped put many of them away, they set their sights on taking him down. And with the help of a NY Times reporter they have a chance. For years, Scarcella insisted he did nothing wrong. But that’s all he’d say. Until we tracked Scarcella to a sauna in a Russian bathhouse, where he started to talk..and talk and talk. “The guilty have gone free,” he whispered. And then agreed to take us into the belly of the beast. Welcome to The Burden.