In this week's tour of the world's Crooks, F*ckwits and Morons:
- Mr Albo goes to Washington!: “Nice place, but who's the old coot in The White House?”
- The AUKUS alliance lives!: Aussie cat burglars secretly rob The Louvre to fund new old US subs. Picked up a few grouse sketches as well!
- Trump flip-flops on Ukraine AGAIN: “I dunno. Vlod, Vlad, it’s all so confusing!”; and
- “WWE Rare Earth” superstars Neodymium, Dysprosium, Terbium, Samarium dig deep in unmissable tag-team action!
Plus so much more of the worst week ever 'til next week:
- Sen. Elizabeth Warren verbal stumble - "I meant to say 'President C**t', and promise to call him that every day for the rest of his life".
- Trump defends poo-on-protestors AI video as true event - "I was flying in hour-old 'Huggies', the fuselage just couldn't hold it all so...!"
- Listener Acting Chief Justice seeks Lady Rebecca “elocution lessons” in his chambers - Objection Your Honour!
- Prince Andrew thrilled with all the refs in Giuffre book index - 'I'm famous agai-- I mean, I never met this girl OR f*cked Epstein!!"
- US Navy escalates attacks on fishermen, stockphotos, guys called Juan
- Trump demands $230m from Trump Administration - Pam Bondi talks him down to $3bn and a BJ. The Art of the Deal!
- Heggo's Howitzer rains shrapnel on Californians - "I thought we'd hit more of 'em, honestly!”
- White House loses East Wing before DA even goes to Council - "That's why Tom Homan needed cash in a bag!"
- Amazon Web Services engineer leaves hot tub to cure world hunger, deliver world peace, restore OnlyFans download speeds to “Frantic”
- French unveil new Louvre security plan - "Hey where did it go?!"
- Hakeem Jeffries assassin's lawyer - 'My client meant any ol' n*****!'
- And in C**t of The Week: the Republican clash we’ve been waiting for - Fraudulent Criminal vs Actual Nazi!
In the comedy podcast with all the latest news, explained by idiots - The Honk and Henry Lee (Kevin Rudd doing numbers for Trump leadership tilt: "With Julia's backing? I can't lose!")
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Produced, mixed, compiled and edited by Junior
Additional editing by guy who tweaked George Santos' CV
White House edited by PLO Demolitions of DC (Inc.): "West Wing, East Wing, Middle East Wing, we knock down 'em all f*cking!" (can yooz do cash mate?)
Digital design & social media by Guantanamo Babe
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